How to stop being shy about the guy you like?

Causes of fear

Fear can arise if there was a marriage with a person who regularly spread his hands.
Psychology identifies a number of main factors that can provoke the emergence of fear of men.

Lack of self-confidence. In such a situation, the girl believes that she is not good enough for the man she has chosen. Fear will interfere with normal communication. The woman will act embarrassed, wanting to run away.
A phobia developed in childhood, in particular, if growing up in a dysfunctional family. In particular, if the father drank alcohol and raised his hand against the girl and her mother. In this situation, the phrase “I’m afraid of strong men” would be typical.
Fear of being rejected. A woman may have the impression that all men leave her. She will come to believe that she is destined to be alone and not abandoned again. In such a situation, the woman seems to be mocking men, constantly making fun of them.
A traumatic experience from the recent past. If a woman, having trusted a man, for example, after getting married, has an aggressor next to her who constantly abuses her mentally or physically, then she will begin to experience fear of men, and quite strong.
Raised by a strict mother. The woman tries with all her might to preserve her daughter’s chastity, forbids her to communicate with boys, and even more so to meet with them. There is a conviction that all guys are disgusting, intimacy with them is indecent, vicious, then an obedient girl will believe her mother’s stories and will not want to have anything to do with them. Fear may also develop against the background of the fact that the mother punished her daughter for dating a young man.

Causes of androphobia

Why is a girl afraid of a man, where does the panic and rejection of males come from? Experts identify several main reasons that provoke the appearance and development of the disease:

Actions of a violent nature on the part of persons of the opposite sex - husband, father or other relatives/friends. This can be physical harm, psychological violence;
The formation of incorrect attitudes under the influence of female society - growing up without a father/brother/grandfather in a family where women are afraid or have a negative attitude towards males;
Unsuccessful relationship with a man - especially the first experience;
A negative first sexual experience leads to the thoughts “I’m afraid of sex with a man”;
Watching films that focus on violence, cruelty and physical abuse from men;
Constant monitoring of manifestations of male cruelty aimed at treating a child or other physically weak creature. Scandals or quarrels seen in childhood especially stand out.

The question of what to do if I am afraid of my husband overtakes many women - this problem is very common in modern society. Panic is a disease that you cannot cope with on your own. Androphobia should be treated by a specialist.

Characteristic signs

Androphobia is a panicky fear of men, which is often accompanied by a fear of creating close relationships. There may be an opinion that all men use force when communicating with women.

The main manifestations include:

the touch of the opposite sex literally makes you jump away;
if a male representative speaks, stupor may occur;
if a girl sees a guy approaching, she starts having a panic attack.

You need to know that a woman who is afraid of members of the opposite sex can behave in two ways: play the role of a gray mouse or become an Amazon.

The first ones behave timidly, afraid to once again meet a man’s gaze. They are sure that male representatives are ideal and will not look at them. You can notice how such a girl will turn away, not look into a man’s eyes, try to move away, and not start a dialogue. It is also common to wear discreet clothes so that no one will notice.

Amazons behave aggressively and show open hatred towards men. They easily cope with men's tasks and openly despise individuals of the opposite sex. However, in fact, under this guise lies a defenseless creature.

How to love yourself

There are several basic ways to help you understand how to love yourself:

Find the source of self-dislike and get rid of it.
Forgive offenders who left emotional wounds in the past.
Accept your body, start caring for it, training it.
Get rid of negative thoughts and do not lower your self-esteem.
Understand that self-esteem does not depend on the people around you.
It is strictly forbidden to compare yourself with strangers.

Possible consequences

And there is only loneliness ahead
. Naturally, any fear poisons a person’s life and leads to the development of any difficulties or troubles. As for the phobia in question, we are talking about the following results:

loneliness;
absence of family, children;
unsuccessful career, a woman is afraid to boldly climb the career ladder;
inability to communicate with the boss, lack of communication skills can lead to loss of position.

Reasons for being shy in front of a guy

Parents have been known to mutilate their children to some extent. Some pamper them, others, on the contrary, scold them. Shyness begins in early childhood and continues with a person into adulthood.

Try to remember, were there any cases when your mother compared you with a classmate, saying that she was a better student, attended a music school and would achieve a lot in life, unlike you? It is precisely such actions that instill in the character of a little girl the fear of comparisons from relatives. You have heard this so often that the statements have become true for you, thereby lowering your self-esteem with each similar case.

Another example is this: when you were little, you probably screamed loudly or made noise in public places (like all children). At this moment, your parents began to shame you, saying, what a shame, people are looking at you. Such statements from the ancestors lie firmly in the memory, guiding future life. The child unconsciously begins to experience fear about what others will think. But it is important to understand that you are no longer a little girl; by and large, people don’t care how you behave or what you wear.

As for other adults, such as a teacher or teacher, they also do not always have a sense of tact. Often, teachers publicly speak out about the illiteracy of their students, shame them in front of the team, making the child feel untalented and inferior. This leads to shyness and lack of confidence in one’s own abilities, a person ceases to be a person in full, and individuality is lost.

If we talk about their peers, they are completely ruthless. Schoolchildren, children from a neighboring yard or a creative group constantly mock a person who is not like them. Perhaps you had freckles on your nose or chubby cheeks, which led to various nicknames. It is not uncommon for a girl to grow up and still remember all the teasing and insults regarding her appearance, physique or mental abilities. Understand that not everything people say is true.

how to get rid of shyness and self-consciousness

Adviсe

The first step is to find out the true cause of fear.

You may not be familiar with the phrase “I’ve been afraid of men all my life.” But she is very close to someone. For such women, it is important to understand in what ways you can overcome your fear in order to get a chance at a normal family life.

First of all, the girl must understand what exactly is the reason for her fear. Once the analysis is completed, it will be possible to tackle the problem itself.
You can try to change to increase your attractiveness in your own eyes. This will be especially effective if you consider yourself unworthy of some handsome man. Remember that girls wear skirts, dresses, and heels. Become attractive to males.
If you still cannot take the first step on your own, the fear does not leave you, then you need to prepare yourself every day for the fact that sooner or later a young man will come up and want to talk to you, and you need to be able to answer him.
Find time to work on your self-esteem. If it is too underestimated, you need to understand that the man is not ideal, and try to find flaws in him. Or take a completely different path and do everything to love yourself, improve what is missing, and believe in your strength.
If there is a fear that a man will give up, then it is better to schedule your meetings in the presence of women or to have a double date. Over time, you will be able to get used to the young man, you will begin to trust him, and you will not experience frightening feelings.
If the whole reason is a reluctance to be abandoned, then it is best to seek help from a psychologist. A specialist will help you overcome your fear, and also give valuable advice for the future, and explain how to build relationships.
If the reason lies in a serious childhood trauma inflicted by a man, then it is better to seek help from an experienced psychotherapist who can help.

How to relax in bed?i

The first thing a girl who doesn’t know how to relax in bed should do is understand that her man really likes her. Male psychology is very different from female psychology, and when a lady thinks that he has grown cold and stopped paying attention to her, in fact nothing bad happens, and the guy is just tired. Men love women differently, they are completely immersed in their feelings, but at the same time they are not distracted from other events in life.

Therefore, the first thing you need to do is admit that the guy actually likes the girl and even a temporary cooling of the relationship is not always the reason that the guy stopped loving the girl. Lack of love is always easy to recognize, and if the relationship persists, then sex in a couple should remain at the same level.

It is also easier for a girl to relax if she is wearing underwear from a good brand that matches the color. A beautiful bra and panties also attract a man's gaze and make a girl even more desirable. You can increase your own self-esteem by additionally wearing stockings, a belt, or a corset.

If the young man has a good sense of humor, then you can defuse the situation by wearing beautiful underwear with different funny inscriptions - this way both partners will laugh and the girl will loosen up faster.

An additional technique for increasing self-esteem for a woman is the use of suitable cosmetics. It is interesting that men like scarlet lipstick on their lips, but it is difficult for them to kiss a woman wearing makeup, therefore, before having sex, they should apply soft makeup that emphasizes the dignity of the skin.

Another good option for those who don’t know how to relax in bed is to choose the right perfume. A girl who smells good can already be confident in herself and her grooming. There is no need to pour the entire bottle on yourself, this way you can really “surprise” a man. A couple of drops are enough on the most delicate places - on the neck and on the bends of the elbows.

Liberation must occur gradually; a girl cannot open up in one day. The partner himself plays a significant role. It is important that a man helps his beloved, tells her how good she looks, what beautiful underwear she is wearing.

Psychologists recommend opening up in bed with the help of moans and open expression of emotions - men love to hear a girl, so they understand that she likes everything. And if a lady begins to openly show emotions, it is easier for her to open up to her boyfriend.

How to learn to be equal

A girl must set a goal for herself and do everything to change. The main thing is to realize that the process will be gradual, not instantaneous.

Communicate with male relatives more often.
Then try to spend more time with male colleagues, ask them questions, ask for some little things.
Next you should move on to unfamiliar guys. A girl should be the first to start a conversation when she meets a man in a store or on the subway. It is enough to simply ask a question, for example, how to get somewhere.
A woman can visit places where only men work to ask them some questions regarding their professional activities. For example, asking for advice in choosing a car while at a car dealership.
Over time, communication with men will become commonplace, it will not cause discomfort, and panic attacks will pass.

Now you know how to overcome your fear, you realize what exactly could influence its occurrence. Able to find solutions to the current situation. Remember that overcoming a phobia is vital, because your destiny is to start a family and have children. In addition, female happiness is impossible without the appearance of a man in a girl’s life.

How to stop being shy about girls

Many guys experience certain difficulties when meeting the opposite sex. You need to figure out in a timely manner how not to be shy about girls, so that it doesn’t interfere with your life.

Causes of stiffness:

Features of education. If a young man grows up without a father in the family, then he has nowhere to take an example of male character. He has a poor sense of masculinity within himself. Or both parents were too strict, which led to a feeling of constant self-doubt.
Past failures. A child may be raised correctly, but at the same time he has had negative experiences with the opposite sex. Typically, such situations occur in kindergarten or primary school. Girls could reject the boy or laugh at him for various reasons. This is firmly stuck in the head, since failures in communication began in early childhood.

Any situation can be corrected with a few steps. They are difficult for an indecisive young man, but it is better to begin to deal with the problem than to ignore it.

Here are some tips on how to stop being shy with girls, following which you can gain confidence in communication:

Walk up to any 20 girls and say a simple “Hello” to them. Preferably with a smile. It is not necessary to stop and continue the conversation.
The next step is to approach another 20 strangers and ask how to get to any place (library, theater). It doesn't matter if the girl points you in the right direction. The main thing in this situation is that the guy approached the woman and uttered more than one word.
Next we give 20 compliments. The scheme is similar: go through about 20 strangers and praise their hair, figure, clothes. The tone of the conversation is cheerful. After this, you can wish them a good day and just move on with your business without waiting for an answer.
Ask 20 girls for their feminine opinion (what gift can you give to your sister or mother, will your neighbor like flowers).

The advantage of each training situation is that women will not reject a guy because he is not vying for their attention or phone number.

How to change yourself

Here is your entire “bag of complexes” that you have endured since childhood: fear of communication, embarrassment, shame in front of men. Moreover, you are drawn to men - this is nature, you cannot argue against it. And you yourself notice that you are not deprived of attention from the stronger sex:

even strangers often compliment you;
they flirted with you more than once, making it clear that you were interesting;
There were even attempts from men to ask you out on a date.

Have you yourself noticed how you react to all this? As if you were somehow insulted. Either you blush (oh this damned betrayal of your cheeks), then you frown, then you send them away. Moreover, you yourself suffer from your behavior. You want to flirt like a woman, but you are rude like a man. What to do?

You may also be interested in: How to deal with fear of relationships

Take a closer look at your girlfriends' behavior

If you are too modest and unsure of yourself, this does not mean that you are sitting at home like an outcast, barricaded with furniture. You probably have girlfriends with whom you go to relax somewhere in a cafe.

Sometimes girls without complexes call such outings “going out for rent.” Several young guys sit down at the table, word for word, treat them to a cocktail, and, in general, an acquaintance begins.

It’s one thing if a real redneck sits down at a table - it’s immediately “dosvidos”. It’s another matter if the guys are cool, and your friends themselves are flushed with the pleasure of communication. At this time, be an outside observer - look at the reaction of your girlfriends.

You don’t have to engage in communication, especially if you feel inclined to be rude in response to a compliment. Limit yourself to meek words of gratitude. You can learn this art from the article How to respond to a compliment.

Learn to talk normally

If you have been complex since childhood, then you probably remember how difficult it was for you to give answers at the blackboard at school. But you had to answer - your assessment depended on it. So, when you have to talk to a guy when you meet someone new, consider that this is your exam, on which your grade also depends.

It may be difficult - after all, you haven’t stopped being shy and don’t know how to communicate. The main thing here is not to get into trouble. Therefore, consider what to ask a man - a kind of “What? Where? When?" for successful flirting. And you can start with a simple correspondence with a guy on the Internet - this will be your notes.

Don't join the ranks of feminists

These evil women will definitely pull you back down, and again you will have to fight the fear of men, starting all over from scratch. Better stay close to liberated ladies who are eager for male attention - this way you will balance your balance between fear and attraction to the stronger sex.

Note that the fight against complexes from the past shapes your life in the future. And this is just the first step. There are still many steps ahead of you - starting a relationship, first dates, love, family. But if you have taken this step, and it is pleasant for anyone to communicate with you, regardless of their gender, then the fears of the past have already left you.

Fear of sex and sexual relationships - genophobia: symptoms, causes

IMPORTANT: The fear of showing one’s inexperience in a young woman/young man should not be confused with erotophobia. It can be overcome by gaining experience over time.

Causes:

Severe pain when losing virginity
Past violence
Negative attitudes from childhood. The mother or grandmother who said sex was dangerous and dirty
Complexes due to the fact that a person is convinced that he is ugly
Your partner's sarcastic comments about your sexual relationship

fear of sex - genophobia
As expressed:

A person tries to avoid intimacy, refuses, making up excuses.
In severe cases, he tries not to have a relationship at all.

Ways to solve the problem:

If you are embarrassed about your body, understand a simple truth. Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him.
Decide to practice more often. Over time, the fear will pass.

Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him