Communication with children of different ages, communication in the family

The very concept of communication has several definitions, which is associated with different views of scientists and specialists on this problem. Each of the specialists in this field offers their own vision and interpretation. We will simply try to reduce everything to a common denominator.

According to the brief psychological dictionary, the concept of communication is a complex multifaceted process aimed at establishing and developing contacts and connections, including the exchange of information, interaction, perception and understanding of the interlocutor.

The meaning of the word "communication" can change. As mentioned above, this is due to different points of view characteristic of different scientists and different times. However, in general, the essence of communication remains unchanged - it is the exchange of information using various means of communication.

Characteristic properties and features of communication

The concept of interpersonal communication has three characteristics: content, functions and means. The content includes the transfer of information, understanding and perception, interaction between interlocutors, influence on each other, mutual assessment and mutual management of activities. The main functions of communication follow from the content, which are divided into communicative, informational, cognitive, emotive, conversational and creative. If at least one function of communication is absent or impaired, it suffers.

The nature of communication and the need for it

A sociable person boldly steps towards new things - new knowledge, new information, new people. Open and inquisitive individuals, without noticing it themselves, provide themselves with a lot of interesting meetings, events, acquaintances, new goals, but the essence of communication, like communication itself, lies not only in this. For every person, the opportunity to communicate with others like themselves is the key to constant replenishment of life’s baggage, intellectual and psychological development. This also reveals the main goals of communication. A feature bestowed by nature helped man survive and establish himself among other, stronger species.

Do you think you would have discovered a passion for the exact sciences or music if you had not gone to school and attended these subjects, no matter how boring they may seem to you initially? No, because communication plays an extremely important role, and a teacher, teaching us a subject during school years, talking with us, students, not only reveals certain abilities, but also helps to develop them, while simultaneously instilling the basic rules of communication.

Features of communication among younger schoolchildren

Note 2

In the lower grades, a stable circle of close contacts develops and communication with peers becomes the leader.

At this age, the need for emotional support from peers is so great that schoolchildren do not think about the fundamental principles of building these relationships.

Younger schoolchildren communicate with adults mainly at school and in the family circle: during educational activities, informing about their own affairs and the affairs of the class, there is a request from adults for information on certain issues, there is a request from adults to evaluate their own behavior. Communication with adults is also formed in conflict resolution situations, when adults are used as mediators.

Communication with teachers becomes very important, and it almost does not go beyond the role framework. It is precisely because of this that the “teacher-student” relationship is formed mainly depending on the child’s performance of his role as a student: accuracy, diligence, diligence, behavior and, of course, academic performance. The teacher's assessment (and not only academic assessment) to a significant extent establishes the relationships between students, as well as the status structure of the class.

Personality formation

At the stage of a person’s development as an individual, that is, from school years, communication with parents plays a particularly important role. Ideally, you should try to talk with them as much and as often as possible, share news and current events. It is extremely important when talking with parents not to deceive them, to be frank, sincere and honest. These are the goals of communication and their basic rules at this stage.

What seems incomprehensible to schoolchildren, for example, a parental ban, in most cases turns out to be the right decision. Just imagine if in our teenage years we were allowed absolutely everything. Probably, troubles would have followed us at every step, and we, being still children, would have had no idea how to get out of them.

The period of adolescence is especially important in the development of a person and his communication skills, in parallel with which the psyche develops. A person learns the essence of communication while he is growing up, studying at school, university. During this time, life’s baggage is replenished not only with scientific knowledge, but also with ordinary life skills, experience, both other people’s and one’s own. At this stage, for the most part, you have to be in contact with peers, but this incredibly helps the formation of personality. True, if only you adhere to the basic rules of human communication.

Types of communication with children by age

There are three main age periods for a child:

• preschool,
• junior school,
• teenage.

Note 1
Each of them is determined by its own characteristics of information perception, main activity, attitude towards others, risks and crises. It is necessary to communicate with children at the stages of growing up based on their current needs and requirements.

The psycho-emotional formation of a small child is entirely dependent on communication - first with parents, then with teachers and peers. Underestimation of the importance of communication by parents is fraught with consequences for the child: from an inferiority complex to inhibited development of the psyche and speech. Unfortunately, many parents believe that educating their child is the task of preschool institutions and schools, and they themselves are assigned a modest role as monitors of attendance and class progress. In fact, the psychology of communication between parents and preschoolers plays a major role. This is exactly how children receive the most information, learn to appropriately evaluate and respond to surrounding phenomena, form character, patterns of behavior in society, moral attitudes, values, and much more.

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How did it all begin?

Have you ever thought about why a person needs communication? Try to imagine that during evolution the speech apparatus would not have begun to develop, and people themselves would not have shown any desire to somehow contact each other. What do you think, if a person had no desire to communicate and obtain new information, and therefore all the functions of communication would have been absent, there would have been evolution in the form in which we see it now and have seen it since humanity became interested in development all living things? Would we even have the slightest idea of ​​what evolution is? The answer is clear: none of this would have happened. Communication played a role; in fact, it is the basis for the survival of all complex species, which is developed in many living organisms. And even if they present it not in the form to which we are accustomed, nevertheless...

Communication is the key to the development of civilization, the indestructible foundation of society. However, it is worth understanding that this does not only mean the sounds that we are able to reproduce with our speech apparatus. Deaf and mute people also “talk” to each other, although they use gestures rather than words to do this.

Communication in any of its forms is the exchange of information, the only possible option for transferring new knowledge, skills, experience to other people, because this is the only way to help each other, to help the human species survive and develop further, but this is not the only function of communication.

Basic characteristics of communication

Speech communication has many faces. It can be viewed from different angles. The following can be distinguished as different aspects of a single communication process:

1. The desire to organize actions in argumentation in the most optimal way (dispute, negotiations, controversy, bargaining, discussion, conversation). This aspect can be called argumentation tactics.

2. Any communication is always some kind of agreement. Argumentation can therefore be seen as following a certain moral code.

3. Communication is always expressible in language, for which it is necessary to consider the rules of its use, the construction of public speech, its principles, structure, figures of eloquence. This is the rhetorical aspect of communication.

4. Real people participate in communication. Therefore, it is necessary to take into account their motives of behavior and mental attitudes. This is the socio-psychological aspect of verbal communication.

Communication is a multifactorial phenomenon and is characterized by a certain set of characteristics (Fig. 3). Let us briefly consider their content.

When entering into communication, its participants pursue certain goals. Purpose of communication

– this is why a person experiences this type of activity [5].
In psychology, there are eight main goals of communication [3]:
1. Contact

– establishing contact as a state of mutual readiness to receive and transmit messages and maintaining relationships in the form of constant mutual orientation [5].

2. Information

– messaging, i.e. reception and transmission of any information in response to a request, as well as exchange of opinions, plans, decisions, etc.

3. Incentive

– stimulation of the partner’s activity in the message, directing him to perform certain actions.

4. Coordination

– mutual orientation and coordination of actions when organizing joint activities.

5. Understanding

– establishing not only an adequate perception of the meaning of the message, but also the partners’ understanding of each other (their intentions, attitudes, experiences, states, etc.).

6. Amotivational

– arousing the necessary emotional experiences in a partner (exchange of emotions), as well as changing one’s own experiences and states with his help.

7. Establishing Relationships

– awareness and fixation of one’s place in the system of role, status and business relationships, interpersonal and other connections of the community in which the individual will act.

8. Making an impact

– change in the state, behavior, personal and semantic formations of the communication partner, as well as his intentions, attitudes, opinions, decisions, ideas, needs, actions, activities, etc.

Communication is multifunctional. It performs various functions in human life. A.A. Brudny identifies four functions of communication: instrumental

(necessary for the exchange of information in the process of management and joint work);
syndicative
(finds its expression in the cohesion of small and large groups);
translational
(necessary for training, knowledge transfer, methods of activity, evaluation criteria); self-expression (focused on searching and achieving mutual understanding) [17]. The above communication functions are characteristic of creative individuals.

In the process of communication, some of its aspects stand out. For example, G.M. Andreev distinguishes: communicative (transfer of information); interactive (interaction); perceptual (mutual perception) [15]; B.F. Lomov – information and communication (covers the processes of receiving and transmitting information); regulatory-communicative (associated with mutual adjustment of actions when carrying out joint activities); affective-communicative (refers to the emotional sphere of a person and meets the needs for changing one’s emotional state) [16].

Rice. 3. Characteristics of communication

Thus, from the above it follows that communication appears in three forms : a) has a communicative function; b) acts as interaction (interaction); c) is associated with the mutual perception of partners (social perception) (Fig. 3). Let's look at the three aspects of communication mentioned above.

1. The communicative side of communication consists of the exchange of information between communicating individuals and their understanding of it. A communicative act (or act of communication) is analyzed and assessed according to the following components: addressee (communicator, i.e. the one who is the subject of communication); addressee (recipient, i.e. the one to whom the message is sent); message (what is being transmitted, what kind of message); code (by what means common to the sender or addressee the message is transmitted); purpose (why, for what reason something is being communicated); communication channel (voice, written text, conducted communication, communication via air, Internet); result (what is achieved in the process of communication). Based on knowledge of these components, it is easier to prepare your message and evaluate it.

Information is transmitted using sign systems. Depending on the type of sign system, there are:

a) verbal (speech) communication; b) non-verbal types of communication.

The main and fundamental thing is speech (verbal communication). It presents the external sensory (audible sounds, visible signs - letters), as well as the internal semantic aspects.

Among non-verbal means (non-verbal communication) there are: optical-kinesthetic (gestures, facial expressions, pantomime); paralingual (voice quality, range, tonality); extralingual (pause, crying, laughter, rate of speech); spatiotemporal (mutual position of partners, time delays in the beginning of communication, etc.) [21]. The functions of nonverbal communication are a complement to verbal communication. They will be discussed in more detail in the following chapters.

An important characteristic of the communicative process is the intention of its participants to influence each other, influence the behavior of the other, and ensure their ideal representation in the other participant (personalization). In this case, the necessary condition is not the simple use of a common language, but the same understanding of the situation in which communication occurs.

2. The interactive side of communication consists in organizing business interaction between communicating individuals (exchange of not only knowledge, ideas, but also actions). By it we mean any joint activity of people to create products or services and to exchange these products or services. The interactive side is not limited to just the form of communication. What matters here are the motives, goals of communication by each party, and their interaction. There are the following types of business interaction : community; competition; conflict

.

Commonwealth

(joint activity) - an organized system of activity of interacting individuals, aimed at the expedient production of objects of material and spiritual culture (goals, organizational and management bodies, division of the process of joint activity).

Competition

– one of the main forms of organizing interpersonal interaction, which is characterized by the achievement of individual or group goals and interests in conditions of confrontation with other individuals or groups pursuing the same goals and interests. Competition is usually characterized by strong personal involvement in the struggle, activation of the subjects of action, and partial depersonalization of ideas about the enemy. Competition is genetically related to cooperation, since competitive interaction requires the establishment of certain rules and regulatory sanctions, without which it degenerates into open war.

Cooperation

– the main form of organizing interpersonal interaction, which is characterized by the unification of the efforts of participants to achieve a common goal while simultaneously dividing functions, roles and responsibilities between them. Inclusion in cooperative interaction stimulates the development of attraction (the emergence when a person perceives the attractiveness of one of them for another) between group members, promotes mutual assistance, and strengthens the interdependence of participants. However, since cooperation is only a form of interaction, the main psychological content of the relations of the participants is determined mainly by the nature of the activity within the framework of which cooperation develops.

Conflict

– a collision of opposing goals, interests, positions, opinions or views of opponents or subjects of interaction. At the heart of any conflict is the situation.

3. The perceptual side of communication means the process of perception, cognition, understanding and evaluation of each other by communication partners and the establishment of mutual understanding on this basis. This is achieved by “reading” the physical characteristics of a person for his psychological properties and characteristics of his behavior. The perceptual side of communication is characterized by a set of mechanisms of mutual understanding: 1) identification; 2) stereotyping; 3) reflection; 4) feedback; 5) modeling; 6) isolation.

Let us briefly consider their content.
Identification
is a way of understanding one person through the conscious or unconscious assimilation of his characteristics to the characteristics of another person.
Stereotyping
is the classification of forms of behavior and interpretation of their causes by attributing them to already known or seemingly known phenomena, categories, and social stereotypes.
Reflection
is the subject’s understanding of the means by which he made a particular impression on his communication partner.
Feedback
is the addressee receiving information about the impact he had on the addressee and adjusting the further communication strategy on this basis.
Modeling
is a conscious assessment of another person based on manifestations (direct and specially constructed).
Isolation
is an individual’s emotional defense of his natural and personal essence, direct experience. These mechanisms make it possible to provide analysis and control of information received by a person about another person, about the results of interaction with each other.

The communicative, interactive and perceptual aspects of communication in their unity determine its content, forms and role in people’s lives.

Close to communication is another concept - sociability, which means a person’s mental readiness for organizational and communicative activities. The structure of sociability is multi-layered and should be considered, as V.A. rightfully believes. Kann-Kalik, in the unity of three components: the need for relationship on the part of the individual, high emotional tone throughout the entire time period of communication and stable communication skills [20].

According to researchers, communication must satisfy the following requirements: there must be a strict “line of communication”; at the end of each line there must be persons capable of using it; the need to have technical means of communication confirming that this line is in use; there must be incentives to use the line of communication; the correct form of communication must be chosen (oral, written or graphic) [7].

Fulfillment of the above requirements allows one to observe a certain culture of communication , which is ensured by the intellectual, emotional and moral development of the individuals who come into contact. Such individuals are capable of “communication improvisation” and follow only a limited number of “rules” that are learned to the point of automatism. Their communication is always creative.

Self-test questions

1. Define the phenomenon of “communication”.

2. Name the main goals of communication.

3. What components can be identified in the communication process?

4. Name the parties to communication and give a brief description of them.

Literature

1 . Ozhegov S.I., Shvedova N.Yu. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language: / RAS Institute of Russian Language. V.V. Vinogradova. – 4th ed. add. – M.: Azbukovnik, 1997. – 944 p.

2. Baykova L.A., Grebenkina L.K. Pedagogical skills and pedagogical technologies: Textbook. allowance / Ed. OK. Grebenkina, L.A. Baykova. – 3rd ed., rev. and additional – M.: Ped. Society of Russia, 2000. – 256 p.

3. Brief pedagogical dictionary / Comp. L.A. Karpenko / Edited by. ed. A.V. Petrovsky, M.G. Yaroshevsky. – M.: Politizdat, 1985. – 213 p.

4. Psychology. Dictionary / General ed. A.V. Petrovsky, M.G. Yaroshevsky. –2nd ed., rev. and additional – M.: Politizdat, 1990. – 494 p.

5. Psychology and pedagogy: Textbook. allowance / Ed. A.A. Radugina. – M.: Publishing house “Center”, 1997. – 256 p.

6. Dictionary of foreign words. – 18th ed., erased. – M.: Rus. lang., 1989. – 622 p.

7. Meskon M. Albert M., Khedouri F. Fundamentals of management: trans. from English – M.: “Delo, LTD”, 1994. – 702 p.

8. Mudrik A.V. Communication as a factor in the education of a schoolchild. – M.: Pedagogy, 1984.

9. Dobrovich A.B. To the teacher about psychology and psychohygiene of communication. – M.: Education, 1987. – 207 p.

10. Overnight M.N. Human communication. – M.: Politizdat, 1988. – 127 p.

eleven . Zolotnyakova A.S. Problems of communication psychology. Textbook special course manual. – Rostov n/d.: RGPI, 1976. – 148 p.

12. Sidelnikov T.T. Dispute! Dispute? Dispute... - Kazan: Kazan Publishing House. University, 1992. – 112 p.

13. Akinin M.S. Business communication of a manager: what should he be like? – Sochi: Merez, 1991. – 178 p.

14 . Bulygina A.A. Ethics of business communication. Lecture course. – Novosibirsk: NGAEiU, 1995. – 147 p.

15. Andreev G.M., Yanoushek Ya . Communication and optimization of joint activities. – M.: Publishing house Mosk. state University, 1987. – 303 p.

16. Lomov B.F. The problem of communication in psychology. – M.: Pedagogy, 1981. – 104 p.

17. Brudny A.A. Understanding and communication. – M., 1989.

18. Melibruda E. I-YOU-WE: psychological possibilities for improving communication / E. Melibruda. – M.: Progress, 1986. – 254 p..

19. Confucius. Sayings. – M.: MSU, 1994. – P.31.

20. Kan-Kalik V.A. To the teacher about pedagogical communication: Book. for the teacher. – M.: Education, 1987. – 190 p.

21 . Labunskaya V.A. Nonverbal behavior: A social-perceptual approach. – Rostov n/d.: Rostov University Publishing House, 1986. – 136 p.

22. Mudrik A.V. Communication as a pedagogical category // Psychological problems of communication / Ed. A.A. Bodaleva. – M.: Nauka, 1979.

Chapter 2

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What role does communication play in human life?

The question of why a person needs communication is answered by the history of primitive society. Human speech is the “first child” of communication, which among primitive people occurred through gestures. It was then that the first rules of communication were formed, general concepts and the designation of objects were born, and then writing was formed. This is how society and society as a whole were born, and rules of interpersonal communication were established that are still in effect today.

The normal, full formation of the psyche, as well as its further development, cannot be imagined without communication. Consequently, the role of communication in human life is extremely high. This is the only way to exchange information, perceive and understand the world around us. Communication is what distinguishes the human species from other species living on Earth.

It is impossible to underestimate the role of communication in a person’s professional activity. This is a specific type of interpersonal interaction, since professional activities have their own rules of communication, limited by generally accepted rules of behavior and interpersonal relationships within one organization (company). This is also called corporate ethics.

Why does a person need communication?

It doesn’t matter whether you are a sociable person or a withdrawn introvert who is used to being alone, everyone needs communication. The social need to talk with others like oneself is a natural need, and without its satisfaction it is impossible to feel complete.

Communication plays a vital role in human life. The difference may lie only in its quantity and frequency. So, for someone it will be enough to go somewhere with friends once or twice a week and talk with them in order to cheer up and improve their well-being, and for the rest of the days such a person may well be alone. But for some, communication plays a more important role - such a person cannot spend even 20 minutes alone with himself, begins to suffer from boredom and experiences an irresistible desire to contact someone. By the way, such a desire is more aimed at the process itself, and not at its final result.

What creates the desire to communicate?

People are eager to communicate, you can call it a banal desire, but a more correct term is a need.

So, with a high probability we can say that in children communication is an innate need. It is formed under the influence of the activity exhibited by adults present nearby, and often occurs around two months.

But teenagers are convinced that they experience an irresistible desire to communicate. They are also convinced that they can do this as much as they see fit. This is why most teenagers protest against adults' attempts to control their need to spend time with friends, and therefore to have friendly conversations. At this stage, we should not forget about the basic functions of communication, which play a role in the formulation of communication skills.

In adults, the need for communication is also quite strong. Many men and women, having less contact with someone than they themselves want, begin to plunge into negativity.

“Features of communication between a teacher and children.”

1) expressive facial expressions (looks, smiles, grimaces, different facial expressions);

2) object-based (postures, gestures, actions with toys, etc.);

3) speech.

The first ones express, the second ones depict, the third ones denote the content that the child seeks to convey to an adult or receive from him. 2. Forms of communication between a child and an adult.

Psychological research has shown that these aspects of communication give rise to several stages at which the activity of communication appears in a holistic, qualitatively unique form. Needs, motives and means of communication form stable combinations - forms of communication that naturally change throughout childhood. Development of communication between a child and an adult M.I. Lisina considered it as a change of peculiar forms. So, a form of communication is the activity of communication at a certain stage of its development, taken in the totality of its properties. The form of communication is characterized by the following parameters: 1) the time of its occurrence in ontogenesis; 2) its place in the system of general life activity;

3) the main content of the needs satisfied by children in this form of communication; 4) the leading motives that encourage the child to communicate; 5) basic means of communication.

Throughout childhood, four different forms of communication appear and develop, from which one can clearly judge the nature of the child’s ongoing mental development. An important task of the teacher is the ability to correctly identify and correctly develop one or another form of communication in accordance with the age and individual capabilities of the child.

Let us consider the sequence of development of forms of communication between a child and an adult, starting from the first months of life. Development of communication at an early age A child is not born with a ready need for communication. In the first two to three weeks, he does not see or perceive an adult. But, despite this, his parents constantly talk to him, caress him, and catch his wandering gaze. It is thanks to the love of close adults, which is expressed in these seemingly useless actions, that at the end of the first month of life, babies begin to see an adult, and then communicate with him. The first form of communication between a child and an adult was called situational-personal. At first, this communication looks like a response to the influence of an adult: the mother looks at the child, smiles, talks to him, and he also smiles in response, waving his arms and legs. Then (at three or four months), at the sight of a familiar person, the child rejoices, begins to actively move, walk, attract the attention of an adult, and if the adult does not pay attention to him or goes about his business, he cries loudly and resentfully. The most offensive thing for a baby who already has a need for communication is when adults do not pay attention to him, they simply do not notice. They perceive even an adult’s dissatisfaction, his anger joyfully, because this means attention to the child, attention to him. The need for the attention of an adult - the first and basic need for communication - remains with the child for the rest of his life. But later it is joined by other needs, which will be discussed further. Here, in infancy, she is the only one, and it is not so difficult to satisfy her. You just need to smile at the baby more often, talk to him, caress him. Some parents consider all this unnecessary and even harmful. Trying not to spoil the baby, not to accustom him to excessive attention, they dryly and formally perform their parental duties, feed by the hour, change diapers, take walks, etc., without expressing any parental feelings. Such strict, formal education in infancy is very harmful. The fact is that in positive emotional contacts with an adult, not only the child’s already existing need for attention and goodwill is satisfied, but also the foundation is laid for the future development of his personality, his active, active attitude towards the environment, interest in objects, the ability to see, hear, perceive the world, self-confidence, etc. The germs of all these most important qualities appear in the simplest and most primitive, at first glance, communication between mother and baby. If in the first year of life a child, for some reason, does not receive sufficient attention and warmth from close adults (isolation from the mother, busy parents), this will one way or another make itself felt in the future. Such children become constrained, passive, insecure or, on the contrary, cruel and aggressive. At a later age, it can be very difficult to compensate for their unsatisfied need for the attention and kindness of adults. Therefore, the teacher needs to show and explain to the parents of young children how important simple attention and goodwill of close adults are for the baby. The baby does not yet identify the individual qualities of an adult. He is completely indifferent to the level of knowledge and skills of the elder, his social or property status, he doesn’t even care what he looks like or what he’s wearing. The baby is attracted only by the personality of the adult and his attitude towards him. Therefore, despite the primitiveness of such communication, it is motivated by personal motives, when an adult acts not as a means for something (game, knowledge, self-affirmation), but as an integral and valuable personality. As for the means of communication, at this stage they are exclusively expressive and facial in nature. Outwardly, such communication looks like an exchange of glances, smiles, screams and humming of a child and an affectionate conversation of an adult, from which the baby catches only what he needs - attention and goodwill. So, the first in ontogenesis is the situational-personal form of communication, which remains the main and only one from one to six months of life. During this period, the infant’s communication with an adult occurs outside of any other activity and itself constitutes the child’s leading activity. Situational and personal communication is characterized by the need for attention and goodwill, personal motives and expressive and facial means of communication.

Lack of interpersonal contacts and its consequences

The degree to which a person needs to contact and interact with his own kind determines his life as a whole and his location (place) in society. This could be family, work team, friends, school, university group. A person deprived of the opportunity to talk and contact with other people, and therefore unable to perform all the functions of communication, will never be able to become a social person, join society and develop culturally. It will only resemble a person in appearance.

“Mowgli children”, deprived of the opportunity to contact and interact with representatives of their species immediately after birth or in early childhood, prove this fact, and therefore how important the role of communication is in human life. Being isolated from human speech, they naturally have no idea what it’s like to talk to someone. The body of such individuals develops naturally, but the development of the psyche is delayed, or even does not occur at all. The main reason for this lies in the lack of communicative experience with other people, and therefore in the absence of all communication functions. Actually, such cases, like nothing else, prove how important it is for a person to contact and talk with other people.

Communication style: what is it?

Communication has three components:

1. Content that determines the subject of communication or conversation.
2. Style is a way of interacting with others.
3. Manner is the use of voice and body to convey spoken messages. She can be respectful, dismissive, playful, serious, embittered, benevolent. At the same time, manner is inextricably linked with two other components of communication.

There are several definitions of the concept of “communication style” proposed by psychologists. It is believed that it includes a set of norms, methods, principles, patterns of human behavior and other features.

Polite communication

Consistently polite communication with other people is a rather rare trait. After all, every day we defend our opinions, share our impressions not only in our home circle, but also with colleagues, friends, acquaintances and strangers. It is the specific situation that determines the choice of behavior.

The modern classification of communication styles in psychology is represented by a wide range of works by scientists: Kurt Lewin, Sergei Bratchenko, Larisa Petrovskaya, Sergei Shein and others.

Each person has an individual, unique communication style that changes and transforms throughout life. It is not considered an innate quality, so we can talk about its adjustment and development.

Also, the style can change depending on the interlocutor and the circumstances, but while maintaining the essential features, originality and uniqueness of the individual.

Communication styles are characterized by:

• the objective side is moral norms, socio-cultural, socio-economic and political factors influencing human behavior;
• subjective – personal characteristics of the individual.

Read more: How to learn to express your thoughts beautifully

Some styles may or may not work well in networking in certain situations, especially in the business world.

3 categories

Communication styles are divided into three categories, depending on the conditions of a person’s presence in a particular community:

1. Flexible. A person has an excellent understanding of society, adequately evaluates his interlocutors, and understands the topic of conversation.
2. Regidny. A person is not able to analyze the situation and quickly choose the tactics of his behavior.
3. Transitional. Contains features of the two categories above.

The versatility of communication for purposes

For what and why a person, like any other living being, exhibits this kind of activity such as communication and the need for it - these are the main goals of communication. Thus, animals communicate to encourage their own kind to take certain actions or to warn them to refrain from any action. This process is subject exclusively to animal instincts, which, in fact, are guided by representatives of the fauna.

But the goals of human communication are much greater - in addition to satisfying the natural biological needs characteristic of animals, the satisfaction of cultural, social, creative, cognitive, aesthetic, intellectual, moral and other needs is also added to human interaction. Why does a person need communication? To satisfy all these needs. Speech interaction between people can safely be called multi-purpose, and the goals to which it is aimed provide more than an extensive answer to the question, why does a person need communication and what is it?

Styles and classification

Based on some features, communication in a person’s life can be divided into direct (immediate) and indirect (mediated). In the first case, communication between the interlocutors occurs directly; they communicate with each other using appropriate facial expressions, gestures, intonation and tone.

In the second case, information between interlocutors is not transmitted directly, but indirectly (letters, documentation, media, etc.). It is worth noting that direct communication has better effectiveness and impact on the interlocutor than indirect communication. However, the first type can be more subject to emotions, since such communication in the life of every person occurs in real time, and the second - to common sense, since there is time to comprehend the situation and analyze it.

There are also formal and informal types of communication, from which it follows that relationships between people are business and personal. Consequently, the rules of communication for each of the two types will be different. In the first case, sympathy or antipathy is expressed towards each other, respect or lack thereof, trust or distrust. But business communication is the relationship that develops between people who are members of certain social groups and organizations. It is based on the rights and obligations existing in a particular group (organization). Consequently, the role of communication in a person’s professional activity and its role in everyday life are significantly different. If in the first case a person is limited by certain frameworks and rules dictated by the organization (company), then in the second he is limited only by his own opinion, desires and character traits. What may be common here is perhaps the role of education, but not the role of communication in general.

1) the need for mutual understanding and empathy;

2) personal motives;

3) speech means of communication..

Extra-situational and personal communication is important for the development of a child’s personality. Firstly, he consciously assimilates the norms and rules of behavior and begins to consciously follow them in his actions and actions. Secondly, through personal communication, children learn to see themselves as if from the outside, which is a necessary condition for consciously managing their behavior. Thirdly, in personal communication, children learn to distinguish the roles of different adults - educator, doctor, teacher - and, in accordance with this, build their relationships in communication with them differently.

Form of communication and age of the child

These are the main forms of communication between children and adults in preschool age. With normal child development, each of them. These forms develop at a certain age. Thus, the first, situational-personal form of communication appears in the second month of life and remains the only one until six or seven months. In the second half of life, situational business communication with adults is formed, in which the main thing for the child is joint play with objects. This communication remains primary until about 4 years of age. At the age of four to five years, when the child already has a good command of speech and can talk with an adult on abstract topics, non-situational-cognitive communication becomes possible. And at six years old, i.e. By the end of preschool age, verbal communication with adults on personal topics arises.

Of course, this is only a general, average age sequence, reflecting the normal course of child development. Deviations from it for minor periods (six months or a year) should not cause concern. However, in real life, quite often one can observe significant deviations from the indicated timing of the emergence of certain forms of communication.

It happens that children remain at the level of situational and business communication until the end of preschool age. Quite often, preschoolers do not develop verbal communication on personal topics at all. And in some cases, in a five-year-old preschooler, situational and personal communication predominates, which is typical for an infant in the first half of the year. Of course, the behavior of a preschooler is not at all similar to that of an infant, but in essence, the attitude towards an adult and communication with him in a large child can be the same as in an infant. For example, a preschooler strives only for physical contact with the teacher, hugs and kisses him, and freezes with bliss when an adult pats him on the head. At the same time, any meaningful conversation or joint game causes embarrassment, isolation and even refusal to communicate. The only thing such a child needs from an adult is attention and kindness.

The art of interpersonal communication

Communication is a natural process. Under ideal circumstances, all people should have free contact with each other. But in reality, in real life, some individuals experience a fear of communication, which is called social phobia. In this case, the need for contact with other people is practically or completely absent. Often, such fear arises in adolescence, which is the most difficult stage in the life of any person.

If the first experience of conscious entry into society, the first communication with someone is negative, then in the future such a person will experience problems with interpersonal connections. This minimizes the need for conversations and conversations with others like oneself, often leads to isolation or creates a desire to avoid such “irritants,” that is, society as a whole. The importance of communication in human life cannot be overestimated. It is an art and skill that is acquired over the years. It is quite natural that a person’s communication skills depend not only on his personal characteristics, but also on the environment in which he was (is) at different stages of his life.

However, by following the rules of interpersonal communication, you can avoid many troubles:

• speak to another person in the way that you yourself consider best and only true;
• show respect to the person you are talking to;
• Express trust and understanding in the person you are talking to.

Age-related characteristics of communication

One of the first social needs that a person develops is the need for communication. According to many domestic psychologists (L. S. Vygotsky, M. I. Lisina), it is the need for communication that becomes the leading factor in human mental development.

There are three main groups of motives associated with the need for communication:

• cognitive motives (need for impressions);
• business motives (need for vigorous activity);
• personal motives (need for recognition and support).

Yu. B. Gippenreiter notes that it is these needs that can be traced in a newborn, which is proven by a series of experiments.

As you know, the development of a child’s communication is closely related to the development of his speech. Of course, in the first two years of life this development occurs at a rapid pace.

By the end of the first - beginning of the second month of life, the child develops a specific reaction to human speech - special attention to it, called auditory concentration. In the third month, in response to the speech of an adult, the child develops his own speech reactions, which are part of the “revitalization complex.” Along with speech, the child’s emotional sphere also develops. Experts (in particular, V.N. Belkina, A.N. Modina) believe that already at the age of 2-3 months the first empathic reactions appear.

From about four months, the child begins to distinguish the statements of adults by intonation, which indicates that he already knows how to use speech as a means of emotional communication. Emotional communication is understood as communication through so-called expressive movements, i.e. movements corresponding to a certain emotional state: postures, facial expressions, touching, stroking, pressing to the chest, pushing away, etc. Up to six months, a child’s communication with adults is purely emotional character.

In the sixth month of life, the child is guided not only by the emotional tone and nature of the statement, but also by the rhythm of adult speech. In the second half of life, the child begins to use “pseudowords”, which perform a signaling function, but do not have constant generalized meanings. As a means of communication, along with emotional reactions, action with an object appears, so researchers believe that during this period - by the end of the first half of the year - along with emotional communication, objective communication also becomes isolated. Object communication is the communication of a child with adults, the main means of which is an object. In the process of such communication, the child begins to assimilate the socially determined meaning of the object. After 6-8 months, the child develops a new type of communication with adults - situational-business, which is understood as such communication between the child and adults in the process of joint actions with objects, the purpose of which is the joint action itself.

By the end of the first year of life, a child may become infected with the negative emotional state of a loved one - cry, be upset with him, and also feel sorry for an upset, offended person.

In this way the child shows his sympathy and empathy. Empathy, which has been characteristic of almost all children for quite a long time in its so-called pure form, continues to develop. This emotional state is perfectly described by the amazing expert on child psychology, Swedish writer A. Lindgren, in the story “Emil from Lennenberg”: “Oh, we completely forgot about Emil! Poor thing, he stayed too long in this carpentry! - said mother... Little Ida burst into tears” (Lindgren A., 2004. P. 38).

During this same period, children develop a fairly stable desire to communicate with peers: they love to be around other children, although they do not yet play with them. In addition, by the end of the first year of life, the child already begins to pronounce words and learn the semantics of the word. At the beginning of the child’s second year of life, the period of development of speech communication itself begins. During this period, the need for communication becomes one of the child’s leading needs.

By the end of the second year of life, the child’s vocabulary is actively expanding and he begins to speak in sentences. During this period, children communicate mainly with adults, often this communication takes the form of addresses. A. A. Rean gives the results of S. S. Kharin’s observations of children 2-3 years of age. “The percentage distribution of children’s appeals to adults according to their content is as follows: the share of substantive appeals is 50%, business appeals are 30%, and emotional appeals are 20%. Thus, business calls related to objective activities make up as much as 80% of all calls from a child to an adult” (Rean, 2003, p. 147).

Communication between a 2-3 year old child and adults performs the following most important functions:

• awareness of your experience;
• determining a way to solve life problems and get out of various situations;
• systematization and accumulation of life experience.

During this period of life, in the process of communicating with adults, the child begins to form an emotional reaction to praise.

A child's need for communication changes significantly in the third year of his life. As you know, this is a crisis age. It is at this age, according to L. S. Vygotsky, that the child’s actions begin to be motivated not by the content of the situation, but by relationships with other people. Communication with adults and peers, whose circle has already grown significantly by this period, turns into truly social interaction. The child begins to learn the rules and norms of interaction in a group for the first time. By this period, individual differences in children's communication abilities are clearly evident. By about three years of age, the child already has a fairly clear idea of ​​his capabilities, which becomes the basis for the emerging image of himself. The image is formed and confirmed in the conditions of interaction between the child’s individual experience and the experience of communicating with other people.

At the age of 4-6 years, the socio-psychological phenomenon of friendship is observed, which is understood as deep individual-selective interpersonal relationships, characterized by mutual affection based on a feeling of sympathy and unconditional acceptance of the other.

Friendship performs many functions, among which the most notable are:

• development of self-knowledge;
• creating a sense of belonging;
• connections with a society of their own kind.

M.I. Lisina (1986) as a result of research identified four main forms of communication that appear in the first seven years of a child’s life: situational-personal, situational-business, extra-situational-cognitive and extra-situational-personal.

• Situational-personal form (0-6 months) - communication during which an adult ensures the child’s survival and satisfaction of all his primary needs.
• Situational business form (6 months - 3 years) - communication that takes place during joint activities with adults.
• Non-situational-cognitive form (3-4 years) - communication that unfolds against the backdrop of the child’s joint activities with adults and independent activities to familiarize himself with the physical world.
• Extra-situational-personal form (4 years - 6-7 years) - communication that unfolds against the background of the child’s theoretical and practical knowledge of the social world.

At the age of 6-7 years, a child finds himself in a completely new social situation - the school environment. The circle of communication with peers accordingly expands significantly. The child acquires new skills of social interaction with peers and learns to make friends.

A. A. Rean and Ya. L. Kolominsky (1999) distinguish the first and second circles of communication at school age. The first circle includes those classmates who are the object of sustainable choice. The second includes those with whom the child sometimes communicates and those whom he avoids.

The development of communication with peers marks a new stage in the child’s emotional development, characterized by the emergence of his ability to emotionally decenter. In this case, emotional decentration refers to the ability to distance oneself from one’s own emotional experiences, the ability to perceive emotions, the emotional state of another person.

During the period when a child finishes primary school, i.e. at the age of 9-10 years, he loses interest in communicating with adults and switches it to classmates. According to G.R. Pertenava (1988), at the age of 9, interest in adults is typical for 46.5% of children, and by 10 years it drops by 14.1%, while interest in parents is actively decreasing (Rean A.A. , 2004). It is important that communication with peers is homosocial in nature, implying communication during which the child prefers the company of children of the same sex.

At the same time, communication with classmates contributes to the assimilation of such types of relationships as leadership and friendship.

In adolescence, communication with adults loses its relevance to an even greater extent; relationships with peers acquire special significance. The affiliative need to belong to a group is most pronounced during puberty. A reference group appears, i.e. a group of people who are respected and especially significant for the teenager. Belonging to a certain group is of great importance for a young person, because it is in it that he can share problems that arise at his age that are understandable to others like him, share common interests, hobbies, understand what fidelity, honesty, devotion, and etc. Communication itself becomes deeper and more meaningful in spiritual and intellectual terms, and such emotionally rich forms as love and friendship are gradually formed.

At the beginning of adolescence, communication is homosocial in nature, later it becomes heterosocial. This development of communication helps young people master gender roles, appropriate behavior, and accept social norms and values.

However, as modern research shows (Ya. L. Kolominsky, A. A. Rean, T. V. Slotina), the authority of parents among today’s teenagers is increasing compared to research data from past years, and the value of the family is also increasing. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the modern family is very unstable and has lost its traditional functions. Discord between parents has always been deeply felt by children, especially teenagers.

During early adulthood, a person experiences a new set of emotions. Among them are the emotions of intimacy as the basis of love, parental relationships, which include the joy of communicating with the child, a feeling of affection and mutual trust, sensitivity to the child’s needs, a sense of interest in him and admiration for him (Rean A. A., 2004).

During the period of early adulthood, the specifics of the development of communication are closely related to the characteristics of professional activity and self-improvement of a person, with the creation of one’s own family, raising children, as well as with spending free time.

In old age, the communication of most people is limited to family communication and communication with their immediate environment. At this age, people often lose their loved ones, and this is often associated with an emerging feeling of loneliness. Loneliness can be seen as a form of communication deficit. According to Yu. A. Potanina, about 17% of men and 31.3% of women live alone, while almost everyone suffers from a feeling of loneliness (Rean A. A., 2004).

Thus, the development of communication in the first seven years of life proceeds at a very high pace, then improves and deepens in adolescence and adulthood. In old age, communication is also of great importance for a person, but it acquires new shades and features. Throughout its development, communication is closely interconnected with human activity, defines it and is determined by it.

Following simple rules

As a rule, conversations with family, friends and relatives do not cause us any difficulties. We experience the strongest desire to talk with such people, especially since we know very well about their reaction to certain statements, remarks, news. The desire to communicate with strangers is not so high, but often it is forced and necessary. You need to talk to strangers only in a positive way, showing only positive qualities and character traits, being friendly. It is better to do this with a smile on your face, following the existing rules of communication. It is even more important that the phrases you say are appropriate.

Finally, we bring to your attention several effective recommendations for competently building interpersonal relationships and interacting with others:

• be sensitive and attentive to the inner world of your interlocutor;
• remember, everyone deserves respect;
• show interest in the interlocutor, find positive qualities in him;
• do not pay attention to minor shortcomings, everyone has them; there are no ideal people;
• develop your own sense of humor and self-irony.

Features of communication and behavior depending on the type of character accentuation.

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According to the famous German psychiatrist K. Leonhard, in 20 - 56% of people some character traits are so sharpened (accentuated) that under certain circumstances this leads to the same type of conflicts and nervous breakdowns. Accentuation of character is an exaggerated development of certain character traits to the detriment of others, as a result of which interaction with other people deteriorates. The severity of accentuation can vary - from mild, noticeable only to the immediate environment, to extreme variants, when you have to wonder if there is a disease - psychopathy. Psychopathy is a painful deformity of character (while maintaining a person’s intelligence), as a result, relationships with other people are sharply disrupted; psychopaths can even be socially dangerous to others.

But unlike psychopathy, character accentuations do not appear constantly; over the years they can significantly smooth out and approach the norm. Leonhard identifies 12 types of acceptance, each of which predetermines a person’s selective resistance to some life adversities, with increased sensitivity to others, to frequent conflicts of the same type, and to certain nervous breakdowns. Often you have to deal with accentuated personalities and it is important to know and anticipate the specific features of people’s behavior.

Brief description of behavioral characteristics depending on the type of accentuation:

Hyperthymic (hyperactive) type.

Features of communication and behavior. Excessively high spirits, always cheerful, talkative, very energetic, independent, strives for leadership, risks, adventures, does not respond to comments, ignores punishments, loses the line of what is prohibited, lacks self-criticism. It is necessary to be cautious about his unfounded optimism and overestimation of his capabilities. Energy is sometimes directed towards drinking alcohol, drugs, and promiscuous sex life.

Traits that are attractive to interlocutors. Energy, thirst for activity, new things, optimism.

Traits that are repulsive and promote conflict. Frivolity, a tendency to immoral acts, a frivolous attitude towards responsibilities, irritability in the circle of close people.

Situations in which conflict is possible. Monotony, loneliness, conditions of strict discipline are contraindicated, constant moralizing can cause anger. There are often cases of manic-depressive psychosis.

Preferred activity. Work related to constant communication: organizational activities, sales service, sports, theater. Tend to change professions and places of work.

Dysthymic type.

Features of communication and behavior. Constantly low mood, sadness, isolation, taciturnity, pessimism, are burdened by noisy society, and do not get along closely with colleagues. They rarely enter into conflicts; more often they are a passive party in them. They value those who are friends with them and are inclined to obey them.

Traits that are attractive to interlocutors. Seriousness, high morality, integrity, justice.

Traits that are repulsive and promote conflict. Passivity, pessimism, sadness, slowness of thinking, “separation from the team.”

Situations in which conflict is possible. Situations that require vigorous activity and a change in the usual lifestyle are contraindicated. Tendency to neurotic depression.

Preferred activity. A job that does not require a wide range of communication.

Cycloid type.

Features of communication and behavior. Sociability changes cyclically (high during periods of elevated mood, and low during periods of depression)

During periods of rising mood, people manifest themselves as people with hyperthymic accentuation, and during periods of declining mood, as people with dysthymic accentuation. During a period of recession, they perceive troubles more acutely, even to the point of committing suicide. There are cases of manic depressive psychosis

Preferred activity. Interests depend on the mood cycle. They are prone to disappointment in the profession and change jobs.

Emotive (emotional) type.

Features of communication and behavior. Excessive sensitivity, vulnerability, deeply experience the slightest troubles, overly sensitive to comments, failures, so they are often in a sad mood. They prefer a narrow circle of friends and relatives who understand perfectly. They rarely enter into conflicts and play a passive role in them. Resentments do not spill out.

Traits that are attractive to interlocutors. Altruism, compassion, compassionate, rejoice in other people's successes. Executives with a high sense of duty. Good family men.

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