How to get rid of excessive talkativeness or talkativeness of a friend (friend)

We always love our girlfriends and friends. But sometimes a friend who has the gift of eloquence is excessively talkative. It may seem tiresome if she doesn't know when to stop.

Do you respect your friend, but would you like to give her some restraint? When it comes to serious conversations, you can't get a word in?

Here are some tips to politely and tactfully maintain your friendship with an overly talkative friend and help you get rid of this obsessive problem.

Estimate realistically

Bring yourself back to earth first. Before you assume it's all about your friend, take a close look at your own behavior first. Maybe honor who is in charge in the family.

We all have shortcomings, perhaps if there is impatience or dislike of listening, then your friend (friend) cannot be too talkative objectively, she only does it by your standards.

On the other hand, if you are patient and respect your friend, it is enough to simply try to listen carefully, but if you cannot include many of your own words in the conversation, then it is likely that he or she is talking a lot more than usual. Tactfully ask this question to mutual friends if they have any experience of talking with this talkative person. They are able to validate their experience, making it more confident and objective on your part.

You don’t even have to ask or use a specific name, but simply ask about the obligations between a man and a woman. If all this refers to a mutual friend as “talkativeness,” then your own impressions are not deceiving you, and it is not your fault that she (he) talks too much.

Generalized anxiety disorder

Doctors say that a third of the world's population is susceptible to this disease.

Behavior

A person constantly experiences anxiety and anxiety, suffers from unpleasant sensations in the body: trembling, sweating, dizziness, discomfort in the solar plexus area. Anxiety is usually caused by a variety of fears related to the future. A person is afraid to either fly on an airplane, or get into an elevator, or communicate, or go into unfamiliar places. A person is not able to fight frightening thoughts, so he can constantly perform some rituals to get rid of anxiety: spitting over his left shoulder, checking all the locks in the house, washing his hands, and so on. These actions may seem pointless, but they help the patient to relieve the condition for a short time.

Speech

Constant stories about their own fears, indignation and complaints, including about their state of health, the leadership of the country or company where they work, the situation in the state or at home, that is, everything they encounter in life.

Try to imitate

Keep your hints to yourself. If your friend has a special way of expressing words and using her tongue (crushes, eats words, chews, etc.), you could use a parallel experience to highlight what your friend does.

For example, if you insist on constantly talking about the latest gadgets and releases in small details, you need to choose the nature of the conversation as in a TV show and do the same thing as a person who has excessive talkativeness. Imitate and imitate him/her, but not too intrusively. This may offend him/her. Just make pointed comments on topics like "I think since X is always talking about fashion, it's more important than everything else that happened that day" to be a little overwhelming. Is there anything else left for you to say? The problem with hints is that they are not always noticed, and even if they are there, they can easily be forgotten because they are a bit passive aggressive.

Depression

Depression is the most common mental illness, says WHO. It affects more than 300 million people in the world.

Behavior

Persistent decline in mood and self-esteem, loss of interest in life and previous hobbies, pessimism, sleep and appetite disorders.

Speech

• Quiet voice.
• Lack of desire to have a conversation.
• Long thought before answering, inhibition, careful choice of words.
• Frequent use of words with a negative connotation (“lonely”, “sad”, “unhappy”), the pronoun “I” and words expressing totality (“always”, “nothing”, “entirely”).

In addition, there is the concept of masked depression, when a person hides his problems and tries to appear happy. Recognizing the disorder in this case is much more difficult. Such people try not to touch upon topics that are problematic for them in the dialogue, and emphasize that everything is fine in their lives. But as soon as we start talking about areas where they are experiencing difficulties, we will see despondency on their faces and hear the phrases: “What is the hurry for me? I’ll have time for everything, I have my whole life ahead of me.” They may make jokes about suicide.

Change the conversation topic

It's quite possible that your girlfriend(s) just goes above and beyond when it comes to certain topics such as people, dating, fashion, politics, beliefs, whatever interests her. You may also discover areas of expertise and interest in other areas that interest you as well. Do the smart thing, find a common topic of interest and listen well. The conversation should be good, and he or she will know when to be silent. Usually people talk a lot when others simply have nothing to answer.

Probably everyone has a friend who can always and not always appropriately talk about computer news that is completely unknown to you? Yes? Then change the subject. You may be able to come to a mutual agreement and arrangement where the two of you have a signal when the other needs to back off from talking too much. If you do this and it works out, both of you will have to cut down on too many conversations on a particular topic, and your friend won't feel as knowledgeable or stand out. Always have a list of alternative conversation topics ready with you whenever he or she starts yapping about any particular topic of discussion. Don't worry about changing obvious themes. It's a small price to pay to warn your friend against being too talkative.

Sometimes, no matter what you do, changing the topic of conversation will allow your friend to quickly return to the original topic and the incessant chatter begins again! Pay special attention to this when this happens. If this happens and you change the subject without mutual agreement when it gets out of hand, it's time to address the chattiness problem head-on.

What happens when we “sit down” on an emotional swing?

1) First of all, let's agree that emotions are normal . And the fact that they are very diverse both in intensity and color is also the norm. We won’t get away from them: emotions were, are and will always be with us. It's a natural part of life. Another question is how we will deal with this. If you are attacked by anger, you don’t need to immediately run to a psychiatrist with the question “What’s wrong with me?”

2) Each of us always has a complete emotional set with us. Our brain and psyche are designed in such a way that all of us, without exception, can experience anger, sadness, joy, excitement associated with future plans - in a word, the full emotional spectrum. It’s just that some emotions are our “favorite” ones, while others we intensely suppress. And when these suppressed emotions wake up, that’s when we literally begin to be torn apart. For example, when you were a child, your parents told you that “it’s not good to be angry, you’re a well-mannered boy,” and in this case, instead of being angry, you now become despondent every time. If during quarantine you suddenly discovered with amazement that you are capable of anger, find some kind of benefit in this - after all, you have discovered something completely new in yourself. At first, it may even frighten you: in this case, the secondary emotion of fear is mixed in. Don’t worry and don’t let yourself get confused: as we remember from the first point, experiencing completely different emotions is completely normal.

3) We subconsciously strive to be consistent . But our world is not black and white—and neither is our attitude towards it. Each event has several facets.

This is most clearly seen in personal relationships. I can be angry with my partner, but at the same time be glad that he is next to me. Come closer to me, move further away. You can read more about this in Jerold Kreisman’s book “I Hate You, Just Don’t Leave Me. Borderline Personalities and How to Understand Them. Ambiguous events often occur in life. And the reaction to them is logically also very ambiguous. This is a fairly common story, which nevertheless can become a source of misunderstanding not only on the part of your loved ones, but also for yourself. Indeed, in such cases, we most often cannot fully understand what is happening to us. For example, yesterday I was upset that my partner did not support my ideas. And today it infuriates me unbearably that he interferes with his smart recommendations. And it’s not clear what to do: ask for advice or cope on your own?

First, let's be clear that it's normal to feel sad about something first and then get angry later. First, be glad that you don’t have to go to work, and then miss it while locked up. Yes, this ambiguity can confuse our thoughts. But we can work with this.

Take any object - for example, a laptop. You may like some things about him, but some will irritate him. For example, you like its color and the fact that it is cool when you touch it, but you will be annoyed by the fingerprint on the screen. I may be happy that I bought this laptop, but I may be upset that when I went to the store, my partner was not with me and I was alone. That is, I can look at this subject from different angles. And accordingly, I will experience different emotions.

First of all, ask yourself: “What exactly makes me angry? What exactly is upsetting? Find a more precise reason for your emotions. For example, instead of the general and streamlined phrase “I’m depressed because of the coronavirus,” choose a narrower and more specific wording like “I’m sad because my usual rhythm of life has been forced to change” or “I’m upset because I’m not I can be as free to move as before.” Or “What am I angry about? Because people in my household are violating my boundaries.” Or “I lose my temper when I’m working and want to concentrate, and at this time a child runs into the room.”

This will make it clearer what exactly annoys you, what upsets you, and what brings positive emotions. Essentially, this way you will better understand what and how affects your condition. If we isolate this specificity and understand that many different aspects can be concentrated around one event, internal integrity will appear - and, as a result, a more integral attitude towards the situation, phenomenon and manifestation of emotions.

4) It is important to know about the existence of such concepts as “lability” and “rigidity” . All people are different. Each of us has different settings that determine how this or that emotional process will proceed. For a clearer understanding, we can roughly imagine a certain scale. At one end there will be a point of maximum ease of switching from one emotion to another, at the other there will be a complete absence of this flexibility. We are all located on this scale in one way or another. Labile people switch between emotions more easily. This is difficult for those who are rigid. People with a labile psyche can be compared to a sparkler - they quickly flare up and spark, but also quickly fade. A person with a rigid psyche is like a candle that burns with an even flame until all the wax melts. It is important to determine which type you are. People prone to sudden emotional swings are like sparklers - they are labile. Those with a rigid psyche demonstrate greater constancy. For example, if they are upset in the morning, they will walk around in a depressed state all day.

5) Emotions are closely related to stress and in most cases serve as a response to a stressful situation. “They stepped on my foot - I got angry.”

We have four basic stress responses that are triggered without our awareness:

• hit;
• run;
• freeze;
• play dead.

The first two strategies can be considered conditionally active. The second two are passive.

“Beat” can manifest itself as “Take business training and save the economy with your achievements.” This reaction most often manifests itself through anger.

“Run” is realized through fear and makes us move and get away from danger.

The next two reactions can be compared to freezing. “Freeze” means “Lie on the couch and stick to the ceiling.”

“Play dead” is a more radical version: “If I’m already dead, then what use is there of me? I don’t have to fight or cope with anything.” Essentially, the “play dead” strategy is a depressive state.

Each of us has our preferred strategies, but these may change.

6) Under the influence of any stress (it doesn’t matter whether it’s a pandemic or a small everyday situation when you forgot your keys at home), all emotional reactions intensify . This is due to the fact that the function of any emotion is to solve problem situations.

— Sadness and sadness are needed to cope with losses, which in the current realities have become abundant.

— Anger is evolutionarily needed to protect one’s borders. None of us have spent so much time at home side by side with loved ones before. At the same time, each of us has a need for personal space and our own rituals. During self-isolation, the problem of personal territory is especially acute, as anger signals.

“Fear protected our ancestors from dangers - and now we need it in order not to risk our health by having barbecues in a noisy company.”

— Joy is needed for rapprochement and more productive coexistence. It is obvious that it is difficult for one now. We need to come together to overcome difficult times. Robinson Crusoe first talked to a fork of cabbage before he met Friday. If there is no person nearby, we begin to invent him.

Considering that stress levels are now off the charts, it is logical that our emotions are many times stronger. However, if you think of emotions as something that has its own function and clear purpose, then it will be much easier to cope with them. For example, “What is this fear trying to warn me about? Perhaps it’s about me buying myself more protective masks and once again not leaving the house without a reason.”

7) We are used to calling strong emotions “bipolar” - we are talking about bipolar affective disorder. However, do not rush to make such a serious diagnosis : this disease has very specific symptoms and criteria.

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness characterized by alternating affective states (depression and mania). The danger is that a person ceases to control behavior and loses criticism of what is happening.

During mania, people spend money, take out loans, give away property, make grandiose plans and do not follow through.

In depression, all motivation is lost, a person can lie in bed for weeks, he is unable to go to work and take care of loved ones.

Symptoms of mania:

1. Hyperactivity.
2. Excessive talkativeness.
3. Lots of different random thoughts.
4. Irritability.
5. Little need for sleep.
6. Increased self-esteem.
7. Risky behavior: excessive spending of money, heavy drinking, drug use, impulsive decisions and actions, risky and exalted sexual behavior.

Symptoms of depression:

1. Sadness.
2. Uncontrollable attacks of fear.
3. Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
4. Excessive feelings of guilt.
5. Fatigue.
6. Anxiety.
7. Sleep disturbance.
8. Shutting off from loved ones and friends.
9. Changes in eating habits (increased or decreased appetite).

Check these lists first, and if you find confirmation of your suspicions, seek authoritative help from a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. Typically, bipolar disorder is treated with a combination of medication and psychotherapy.

Stop talking

Be respectful and authentic when raising the issue of chatting with your friend. At some stage, you may feel that you simply need to raise the issue of his or her talkativeness. That being said, here are some important points you should definitely take note of:

1. Don't let your friend know that he or she is selfish, narcissistic and pointless. Your friend may already know these things, but if you want to remain friends, this is not a good way to improve your relationship. Instead, sit down on the couch and discuss the problems that you are not feeling, that you are not getting enough attention to yourself and your words, which is interfering with your good connection and feelings. Feel free to say that you feel a little deflated during the exchange of information.
2. Remember to use "I feel" statements and don't make any pointed comments about his or her personal chatty qualities.
3. Explain to your friend that you know how excited your friends are about certain topics and how much you enjoy hearing about their perspectives, and then make it clear that you would also like to be able to share your perspectives so that he or she she was also able to appreciate your input, ideas, thoughts, etc., just as you do when communicating with him.
4. Keep in mind that some people talk too much when they are experiencing difficulties in their lives, such as stress and anxiety, and some suffer from bipolar disorder and experience a manic phase, which can and often does tempt the person to talk incessantly. While this may not be an excuse for selfishness or even abusive behavior, it does require some understanding on your part. It might be worth trying to help your friend.

Chatty Chatty

Talkativeness as a personality quality is the tendency of the mind to subjugate the mind and manifest this in
frequent and lengthy conversations about one’s problems and active participation in them.
A man saw a human skull, yellowed with age, on the seashore. Without expecting anything in response, the man said with a sigh: “I wonder what brought you here.” And suddenly the skull answers: “Chattering.” The man was amazed. Where have you seen skulls speak? He ran to the main square of the city and shouted: “Who wants to see a talking skull, pay five coins!” People gathered. Many paid, wanting to see the miracle. The man led them to the sea, brought them to the skull and asked him a question: “What brought you here?” But the skull lies in the sun and is silent. People realized that they were simply laughing at them, and they took the deceiver to the ruler. There, both sides told their truth. And the ruler says to the man: “If the skull really speaks, prove it, but if not, get your head off your shoulders!” We came to the shore. The skull is silent. No matter how much the man begged him, he did not hear a single word. They cut off a man's head, and it rolled straight towards that very skull. And when everyone left, the skull suddenly spoke: “What brings you here?” “Chattering,” the head answered him.

Talkativeness must be considered in the context of gender differences. Men's talkativeness is fundamentally different from women's. A chatterbox and a chatterbox are far from equivalent in essence. A talkative man is a sign of dullness and mediocrity. But first things first. Talkativeness, like talking about your problems, is a manifestation of pride. Good feelings are silent, pride cannot be silent. Just as a strong pressure of water breaks a dam, so pride is broken by the desire to report to everyone about your problems and successes. For example, talkativeness bought a new apartment, but cannot show it: “What a pity that you cannot see this beauty.” But the point is not pity, but the inability of pride to scratch its tongue, fully enjoying the joy of the purchase. Pride forces chatter to distract the attention of others. Ten people have given her advice, but she'll go to the eleventh and start an old record. I. A. Krylov in the fable “Two Barrels” writes: “Whoever shouts about his affairs to everyone incessantly, is probably of little use. He who is truly active is often quiet in words. A great man is only loud in his deeds.”

Talkativeness likes to dump its problems on someone; it does not expect any specific solutions from listeners. Decisions are necessary when the thought has matured to change, develop, or do something. For example, a woman expressing her problem does not expect solutions and advice, but active listening. Without the spirit to act, talkativeness, like a vampire, robs others of their energy, attention and time. Talkativeness is the thief of your own and others’ time. If you want to become strong, be silent. Useless chatter takes away your spiritual strength. A chatterbox, in addition to being a boon for a spy, a gossip, a slanderer and a hypocrite, having talked enough, becomes a prey to laziness. There is no strength left after the chatter, and he plunges into laziness or boredom, melancholy and depression. It is not known where more energy is spent - chatting or listening to chatter. Dmitry Yemets noted: “Nothing erodes the will and deprives one of inner peace as quickly as empty chatter. Even the most friendly one. A poet who has unloaded a car of televisions can, in theory, recover in about three hours and write an essay. But a poet who has chatted for forty minutes on the phone is no longer even able to unload the cars.”

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec cleverly joked: “When you see the equation E = mc2, you feel ashamed of your talkativeness.” Silence in any spiritual tradition is defined as gold. When a talkative person talks to a person who has antipathy or hostility towards her, she causes harm to herself - her words only strengthen the unkind attitude towards herself. When talkativeness forces dissatisfaction to listen to itself, it resorts to violence. In a conversation with an ill-wisher, two egos speak, and each proves its significance and importance. In such bellicose chatter the world is seen in black and white, skewed towards black. The mind and feelings become polluted and defiled by such chatter. Consciousness degrades because it gradually slides onto the platform of seeing the world in a negative light.

“A short mind has a long tongue,” said Aristophanes. The disadvantage of chatter is that she talks about everything that comes to mind, even about what she herself is completely unsure of. The thought, bypassing the mind, ends up in the language. If talkativeness learned external silence, it would hear and realize what stupidity its inner voice carries. But she is not given this. She chatters, shouting over her mind and reason. Their modest efforts to get at least a word in, no one hears. Stop shouting down at yourself, hear the voice of your mind and reason, learn to control yourself, and talkativeness will go out like a candle in the wind. A reasonable person speaks only about what he is sure of, so his words are believed. Nobody believes the talkativeness’s words; she has devalued them with previous solo monologues.

A woman's talkativeness, if she is wrong, is perceived by men ironically and condescendingly, and when she is right - irritably, as they say - with hostility. The wife's silence causes concern and anxiety in the husband. If he’s chatting, it means everything is fine: “Darling, I’m going to see my neighbor for five minutes!” Don’t forget to stir the porridge every half hour.” It is believed that the average man speaks three thousand words a day, and a woman seven thousand. Max Brandt noted: “A man chatters when he’s drunk or tired of being alone. The woman grinds her tongue just for practice.”

In a man, after a busy day at work, the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for human speech functions, switches off, trying to relax. The mind can fully recover between 21 and 24 hours. During these three hours, mental energy is restored; in the following hours, only the body rests. If a man comes home from work during this period of time, and they try to get him to talk, not realizing that his mind is already turned off, then the conversation is, in fact, with a “living corpse”, capable only of reflex actions, such as: feeding, turning on the TV , brush your teeth, and retreat into the arms of Morpheus. “Control shot” - the fulfillment of marital duty, can also be considered a reflex action.

Women in chatting find a successful way to relieve stress and emotional tension, freeing themselves from internal problems and fears. A man often becomes “woody” when communicating with a woman. Being the embodiment of action and determination, he tries in the very first words of a woman to identify the problem, find an acceptable solution and give a ready-made solution or advice. A woman doesn't need this. The process of establishing relationships during a conversation is important to her, so she comes from afar. The man will not understand what she is driving at, not suspecting that the woman herself does not yet know where she is leading her monologue. She herself has not yet decided whether she will talk about it today or not. Everything is decided by the course of the conversation: if it goes well, he will say, if it goes wrong, he will remain silent. The man understood everything in the first two minutes, gave a recipe on how to act, and, considering the conversation exhausted, went home. The woman is shocked. She had not yet had time, in her opinion, to begin, and the curtain had already closed.

Every man should know the rule: you need to be attentive to a woman’s words after about half an hour since she began to speak. There is such a joke. The baby shark asks his mother: “Why do you do so many circles before attacking a person?” The shark replies: “You can attack it head-on, but you’ll eat it with your poop.” The first half hour is a series of gradually narrowing circles before expressing the true purpose of the conversation. Therefore, a man is free to think about his own things at this time, but he must only keep up the conversation, nod, assent, in a word, pretend to be a novice. After half an hour, you should actively listen. This is a technique of love. If a man loves his wife, he loves to listen to her. Her voice is like a bird's chirping to him, like a canary's vocals. When a husband, hearing his wife’s voice, experiences pleasure, therefore, there is complete compatibility in the family. Incompatible people cannot endure the torture of listening. Dissatisfaction with your spouse destroys the opportunity to hear his problems, needs and difficulties. When does ideal compatibility win in a family? When spouses can listen to each other with interest.

Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/

Pretend to be tired

Tell the talkative person that they need to take a break from such intrusive communication.

Say something like I need to take care of my husband or “Hey, let's just sit here quietly for a while, I didn't sleep well last night.” Or perhaps take your phone and go to VKontakte or Facebook and say something like, “I need to check my updates because I didn’t log in yesterday—do you mind if I just do that for a few minutes?” .

Or maybe “I can’t process too much today, I can’t think straight because I have a headache—do you mind if we just try to be quiet for a moment and just see where the world is coming?” Use what suits your personality and communication style, and try not to come across as rude. Ideally, this will be just enough to give the chatterbox a break and stop this one-sided conversation.

Advice. How to “get rid” of a chatterbox at work

Author: Alena Narignani | Source: Personal Money

We all sometimes need to talk it out in order to get rid of the burden of worries. But you can look at this problem from the other side: sometimes, by lending a friendly shoulder, you risk turning into an “office crying wall” available to all colleagues. What to do if you are already tired of the role of a patient listener?

Office workers are more familiar with this problem than anyone else! Especially women! Discussing the latest news, television series or the family life of one of your colleagues is a common thing for representatives of the fair sex. Very often, in order to start working fully, one of the employees needs to blurt out the latest news, but this cannot be done publicly - after all, management is not asleep. In this case, the “victim” of an excessively talkative colleague first of all becomes her office neighbors. If even after talking with them the thirst for communication does not subside, the intra-corporate network or ICQ is used, with the help of which the chatterbox has the opportunity to put the entire staff on the ear.

Let's talk heart to heart?

There are people who are really nice to listen to. A funny story or anecdote told by such a person is twice as funnier, and in a dispute his reasons and arguments seem irrefutable. Communication with such people brings only pleasure. The ability to structure a conversation in such a way that people listen to you and the ability to interest the interlocutor is an art.

People perceive not only words, but also the form in which they were spoken. American psychologists have calculated that verbal communication makes up one sixth of perceived information. We convey the remaining five-sixths with the help of facial expressions, poses and intonations. For example, if a word sounds ambiguous, then in combination with one or another gesture it becomes unambiguous.

Without “extra talk” we can judge the attitude towards us. When a person has pursed lips and frowns, we understand that he is aggressive. This knowledge can also be used in conversation. People who have mastery of communication can endear us or, on the contrary, anger us.

Remember how many times you left the store with absolutely nothing you wanted to buy. Professional sellers, politicians, psychologists, and entrepreneurs are fluent in the art of communication: they skillfully use pauses, change the timbre of their voice if necessary, and correctly emphasize shades of meaning and mood. This skill can be useful not only for them; absolutely all public people need to learn how to conduct a conversation correctly.

However, along with the ability to speak correctly, it is also necessary to be able to listen correctly, but there are times when in order to listen to your interlocutor to the end you need to have truly angelic patience.

Topics for conversation and how to deal with them

What do your co-workers tell you most often?

According to statistics, the most discussed “office” topics are: personal life, terrible depression, the difficulties of everyday life and simply long stories (about yesterday’s trip to the cinema, for example, or simply a retelling of one of the newest films). Colleagues most often pester you with conversations about these topics. Moreover, they talk about both their personal lives and the lives of their colleagues, however, the difficulties of life of other employees of the company often become the property of general enlightenment. But you usually have to hear about serious depression first-hand...

But don’t worry, you can find justice for any talker, you just need to think about how to quickly move his conversation to its logical conclusion.

Topic No. 1: About personal

In almost any modern team there is a talkative co-worker who loves to gossip about the personal lives of his colleagues. If you are extremely unlucky and constantly find yourself the victim of this gossiper or gossiper (which is much more common), then you have two ways to get rid of details of someone else's personal life that you do not need.

Option one: nod your head and assent, thinking about something of your own without listening to the information given by your interlocutor. If the annoying voice does not allow you to “switch off” - there is Option two: do not react and do not show interest. The colleague, however, will decide that you are ignorant, but he will definitely lag behind with his stories and is unlikely to approach you next time.

Another option for talking “about personal things” is a favorite topic for middle-aged women: talking about some illness or, even worse, about one of their deceased acquaintances. When you become an involuntary witness to such a conversation, unpleasant thoughts immediately begin to creep into your head, starting with the words: “what if I have...” Moreover, this happens even if you have not been sick for a long time and are taking various vitamin supplements. Memory begins to helpfully slip in unpleasant episodes from life or terrible pictures seen recently in the news.

Here you should do exactly the same thing - simply ignore... if at the same time you can still occasionally “gag” pretending that the story simply “captured” you, then it will be doubly good: both the interlocutor will be satisfied and you will not fray your nerves. The main thing to remember is, do not under any circumstances carry on the conversation and do not sympathize!

Topic #2: About depression

Your colleague is depressed and deeply sad.

The only thing that can help her is the opportunity to speak out, so to speak, to cry on someone else’s shoulder. And whose shoulder do you think she will choose? Right! The lot has fallen on you.

Here you will have to sympathize, unless of course you want to drive the poor thing into hysterics and maintain warm friendly relations with her. But even in sympathy you need to know the limit: you don’t need to be very imbued with other people’s problems, otherwise they may well become yours.

Perhaps a first-hand story about depression is the only topic of conversation where the interlocutor will have to listen to at least half of the story.

After all, it happens to you too!

Therefore, you need to let your colleague speak. The moment she starts talking for the third time about why she is now in such a disgusting state, she can be gently interrupted. An encouraging smile, a positive “everything will be fine” or “you’re doing great” - these words are usually quite enough to ease the mental suffering of your unlucky employee. This way, you won’t deprive your colleague of attention and you won’t be burdened with her problems yourself.

Topic No. 3: About the difficulties of everyday life

Do they tell you about disobedient children and always nagging mother-in-law?

If you feel that there are too many unnecessary details, try to push the story to a logical conclusion. But this also needs to be done carefully and wisely, because according to statistics, those who want to discuss everyday problems are the most “dangerous” talkers. That is, if you manage to fall out of favor with such a “rattler,” you can forget about a quiet life.

Firstly, no one will let you work in peace anymore: an offended colleague will again and again try to make you a listener to one of his stories. And secondly, you risk “losing” the power of speech at work - that is, you will have to remain silent all the time, because any details of your personal life expressed out loud will immediately become public knowledge, you don’t have to worry - the talker will take care of this.

Therefore, you need to act extremely carefully here. The best option is to ask a distracting question like: “What are you going to do?”, after which, continuing to listen to the detailed answer to the question you asked, together with your colleague, slowly move from the place of your conversation to the workplace, preferably closer to the authorities.

Topic #4: The Longest History

You asked a colleague: “Did you like yesterday’s opera at the Bolshoi?”

And now, for an hour and a half he has been telling you about the scenery, costumes, even trying to sing one of the main character’s arias, horribly distorting the Italian words... Well, it’s your own fault! Didn't you know who you were asking the question to? Although, perhaps your colleague has simply not been to the theater for so long that he is still impressed by what he saw.

In any case, the rules of etiquette oblige you to listen to your interlocutor for a few minutes, and then you can interrupt the conversation with a clear conscience.

How to do it? Say, for example, that you are very interested, and you will certainly listen to it later, but now it is simply vital for you to finish some of your business. Most likely, you will be understood and released, as they say, “in peace.” If, after the end of the working day, you do not forget about the unfinished conversation with your colleague, then on the way from the office to the metro, try asking him to finish the story about whether he liked yesterday’s opera. You will not be bored walking to the metro, and you will definitely grow in the eyes of this person.

Remember that the most valuable thing in our life is time! The ability to use it competently is also an art. Don't let others waste your time and use it carefully yourself.

Avoid using distractions or yes-men

You probably have thoughts that suggest that you can deal with this by simply focusing somewhere else or being in your own thoughts, using techniques such as absentminded nodding or regularly agreeing with all the words of the chatterbox, even if you don’t listened. The problem is that you'll appear glazed over, miss an important point in the discussion, and your friend will likely consider it a far worse insult than interrupting.

One constructive gesture can help reduce excessive talkativeness.

Check your watch, diary, or calendar, and maybe even take steps to avoid the conversation until the chatty friend spills the beans. He has to stop at some point, right?

To somehow hide your disinterest, do things like fix your hair or clothes, style your hair, or look for something in your purse, etc. Try not to look around you and do not look into the distance. Your friend may think that you are ignoring him or her and may be offended by this. Do something briefly, discreetly. Try one of the above methods to make your friend think that you are actually interested in his endless chatter.

You can always turn around and leave

The method is rude and perhaps impolite, but effective. If it gets to the point where a talkative person is interfering with your tasks and ignoring your body language, then this could be a clear sign. Yes, it's time to just leave. After all, you have your own life and things to focus on.

In any situation, you must remain calm and not go beyond the bounds of decency. If you are very annoyed by empty chatter, just try not to cross paths with a person who is not able to stop in time. Take care of yourself and your time!

Perhaps many will be interested to know what is difficult for guys to talk about with their girlfriend. Yes, sincerity is the key to a long-term relationship. However, there are certain topics and situations where telling the truth to young people is not so easy.

Control time

Consider reducing the amount of time you spend with a chatty person if nothing you've tried is working. If you are sure that you want to remain friends with this person, but you are equally sure that you cannot have too many pointless conversations, you need to minimize the amount of time you spend together.

Some meeting plans include:

1. You should only meet at times when the news is actually interesting to both of you.
2. After making sure and saying that you will have to leave exactly half an hour into this meeting, keep this conversation short.
3. Offer other entertainment to stop your friends from chatting. If he/she is a gossip, you may have to suggest that he/she read some magazines or watch TV. If he's a social person, try visiting another friend or going to a place with a lot of people. This way, your friend and you will be able to talk with other people, and you will not be bothered by this one-sided and same-type communication. If they like to talk about many sporting events don't talk about them. Fortunately, there are a lot of sports games today. The possibilities are endless. Even a simple tailor can distract your friend according to what he likes.
4. Use social media more often than face-to-face meetings. It will be easier this way.

Schizophrenia

According to WHO Mental disorders, 23 million people worldwide suffer from schizophrenia. This is a serious mental illness that is accompanied by disturbances in thinking, perception of reality, emotions, speech and behavior. Patients do not have a critical attitude towards their condition; in most cases they are confident that they are healthy. A typical example is mathematician and Nobel laureate in economics John Nash, about whose life the film A Beautiful Mind was made.

Schizophrenia can be recognized by the following signs:

• Suspiciousness and paranoia. A person may be sure that they are being persecuted or want to harm him.
• Grand ideas and plans.
• Crazy ideas. The patient may think that the world has long been taken over by aliens.
• Inability to conduct dialogue and formulate thoughts. They either break off somewhere in the middle of a sentence (sperrung), or consist of a jumbled collection of words (verbal okroshka).

One of the most striking manifestations of schizophrenia in speech is delusional symptoms of persecution. The patient will be sure that they are putting a spoke in his wheels and that he is being watched. He will whisper his guesses in your ear, looking around.

Lyutsina Lukyanova

Remember: it is impossible to make a diagnosis based on speech and communication style alone. However, if you think that your loved one’s behavior has changed, then be observant. If you have the described symptoms, it is better to show it to your doctor.

Additional Tips

• Carry earplugs or headphones with you. Listen to music quietly and not loud enough to be heard. When your friend asks you for something, wait, but don't answer right away or look at her or him with a puzzled look. Wait for your friend to ask the question again. This may make you realize that you are not focused on him and his communication and may be a reason to reduce your talkativeness.
• Do what you want to do to make a change.
  If chatty friends always want to hang out on the couch all day, suggest something you'd like them to do, maybe go to a movie, make cookies or pie, or play one-on-one sports outside. You cannot engage in boring and monotonous activities. This often leads to excessive talkativeness.
• Distract them by going to areas with a lot of people. You don't have to listen to all this. Let others listen.

TOP 5 disadvantages of excessive talkativeness

Fifth place. A waste of time and effort.

Chatterboxes waste a lot of time. The most striking example: how many minutes a day do they spend on telephone conversations? Some of my friends talk for several hours a day - and this is the norm for them. Even special tariffs are included.

For me, as an obvious person who does not like telephone conversations, only 3-5 minutes a day is enough - I usually don’t spend more. And it’s like nothing, he’s alive