Congruence and incongruence in psychology
In psychology, congruence is the coincidence of information that is transmitted during communication with words and gestures.
A congruent person acts based on his values and emotions. If behavior goes against internal attitudes, they speak of incongruence. An example is a strained smile when there is melancholy and sadness in the soul.
What is congruence in psychology:
- Joyful emotions are reflected in a person's actions. When he wants to cry, he does so, without trying to hide his true state. That is, those around him see exactly what he really feels;
- Words and behavior are the same. Gestures and facial expressions are important. The interlocutor, who claims to be calm, will not look away, fiddle with the button on his cuff, or nervously twitch his leg. If such manifestations come from someone who claims to be in a state of peace, we can talk about a lack of congruence.
Concept and essence
Translated from the Latin word congruo, congruence means “I coincide,” “I agree.”
Initially, this concept was used in the exact sciences and humanities, but gradually moved into the field of psychology and acquired a new meaning.
Congruence in psychological science is honesty, lack of ulterior motives.
A congruent person has no conflict between thoughts, words, and actions.
Such a person speaks what he thinks and has no hidden meaning in his actions.
Congruence from the outside
It is impossible to judge congruence from the outside unambiguously. Depends on the interlocutor’s ability to empathize. It is important to correctly identify emotions. The more developed this ability is, the more visible the congruence of others is.
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It may seem that the behavior does not agree with the words, that is, declare incongruity. However, the opinion will not necessarily be correct. After all, it is based on one’s own assessment of what is happening. It may be affected by:
- personal relationships;
- perception based on previous life experiences;
- lack of information.
Note! Congruence is an evaluative category that appears from the outside. This is the human condition that everyone pays attention to. But the assessment may be different. In psychology, incongruence is the presence of disagreements with oneself, a conflict between actions and thoughts.
Test your abilities
Friends, to consolidate the material, I suggest you find out how well you can recognize the emotions of other people. For this purpose, there is a special test of emotional intelligence, during which you will have to recognize various emotions on people’s faces, after which you will find out the number of correct answers.
In addition, if you want to improve your ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognize the emotions of other people, I recommend the Emotional Intelligence course from Vikium. This course will help you:
- resolve conflicts effectively;
- maintain equanimity in difficult situations;
- notice signs of deception during dialogues;
- learn to manage your emotions;
- increase self-confidence;
After training you will be able to:
- detect lies at work and in your personal life;
- see empathy and the manifestation of hidden emotions;
- “read” the interlocutor;
- do not show your emotions;
- see manipulation;
- establish personal relationships;
The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev. He is the director of Paul Ekman International in Russia. Paul Ekman is a world expert in the psychology of emotions, deception detection and nonverbal behavior.
Benefits of Congruence
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Congruence is beneficial for the person himself; he does not have to hide his emotions. He fully accepts himself and acts based on his own feelings. At the same time, those around him trust such an interlocutor and feel confident in his words.
Congruence in public speaking
Congruence is important in public speaking. If a person tries to lie and doesn’t believe his words, the public will understand it. Gestures and facial expressions will give him away. For example, the speaker greets the audience, talking about the importance of their opinion, while his posture is closed, his hands are clenched into fists. It is clear that those around him are unpleasant to him. Especially if the speaker looks away, avoiding contact with the audience while presenting.
Closed pose
Gestures will say a lot. For example, a measured, slow story and sudden movements will cause conflicting opinions among the public, and the credibility of the speaker will be undermined.
Congruence in business
Congruence in business is the key to successful business. Only a self-confident person can overcome anxiety by putting emotions in order. The main thing is to feel free and forget about worries. The absence of emotions does not contradict such a state. It is important to be in agreement with yourself, then uncertainty will disappear.
Congruence in your personal life
Congruence in personal life manifests itself as soon as you meet. For example, when a young man is confident in himself, a girl feels it and shows interest. In the opposite situation, the guy can only evoke pity. Understanding your goal and firmness of intentions are reflected in actions that are read from the outside.
Note! A congruent person is able to not hide his emotions. As a result, relationships become stronger and problems are resolved in the early stages of development.
Congruence in relationships
Congruence in communication is openness, which is the basis of communication. Isolation can ruin relationships. You need to trust people and meet them halfway. Only communication skills will lead to comfortable relationships. With trust, there is no need to use psychological defense mechanisms, fearing the reaction or words of the other. Openness appears, which improves mutual understanding, and relaxed behavior develops.
Deep reasons, what is the root cause of everything
Let's look at the underlying causes of incongruity:
- People try to demonstrate high-status behavior when communicating, actually have high status
- At first, a person may be able to retain this behavior, but after a while it no longer works.
- The reason is that you don't have this high value, and you don't like it, and you resist it!
This is the reason for the emergence of internal resistance.
When you resist what is, you become incongruent.
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We describe how to build a relationship between a guy and a girl with complete mutual understanding, trust and sincerity at this link.
How to solve a problem - a useful exercise
Develop this high-status behavior and build it in the most natural and natural way.
The exercise of “non-resistance” is useful for developing congruence.
Choose a quiet, calm place and communicate with all the people there. Be completely yourself and don't resist anything.
The key to the exercise is that when you feel the need to do something that you don't want to do, you still DON'T do it.
Main key points of this exercise:
- If you are nervous, it means you are NOT trying to hide your nervousness and are letting it come out. You express it verbally or non-verbally, through gestures.
- You should not and are not obliged to say or do anything forcibly.
- Whatever you feel , you naturally speak and voice it.
- After 20 minutes of communicating with different groups of people, you will feel the fire. Your brain will wake up and be carried away by this process. Read more about how to be passionate about the process and motivation here.
- The benefit is that instead of playing someone else's role, you are yourself .
- At first there will be awkwardness because your brain is not awake. It's all simple.
- Ask yourself: How am I feeling right now? – and correspond to this state.
- Your brain wakes up and engages from this natural and congruent position. The brain understands that people accept your natural state and who you are at the moment .
- Don't run away or leave the interaction too early. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
- Don't resist anything!
How to become a congruent person
Congruence in psychology implies sincerity. You cannot appear friendly or sincere and not actually be so. It is important that actions are natural; only then will there be a correspondence between behavior and thoughts.
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To achieve congruence you need to:
- be natural and honest towards your interlocutors;
- do not hide emotions, trying to disguise them with others;
- accept your condition, do not hide from momentary desires.
Important! The desire to become congruent is the path to personal development. At the initial stage, disagreements may arise when behavior differs from previous actions and reactions. But over time, everything will come into line, then the person will feel free and real.
Sincere communication
The concept of congruence of articular surfaces
The joints are identical if the shape of the articular surfaces completely coincides. Covered with hyaline cartilaginous tissue, their shapes are strictly determined. Firmly connected to the bone, the cartilage is calcified in the deep layers. Smoothing out unevenness and roughness of the joints, the fabric ensures maximum congruence of the articular surfaces and softens shocks due to its elasticity. Prevents injury when walking and performing heavy loads.
The fabric provides elasticity to the joints.
In addition to the articular surfaces, the joints also include the joint capsule and cavity. The joints are congruent in several positions. The joints are characterized by mobility, low mobility and complete immobility. Among the joints of bones, the following types are distinguished:
- Articulated. Bones rotate in only one plane, for example, the knee joint.
- Flat. Several surfaces slide along each other's planes, for example, the bones of the wrist.
- Globular. A movable bone with a rounded end is placed in a niche of a fixed one (hip joint).
Communication with a congruent person
A congruent person is open and expresses feelings freely. Talking to him is easy and pleasant. At the same time, his truly good intentions are important. The congruence of some categories of persons is unpleasant. For example:
- criminals who are not highly moral are capable of resorting to violence;
- boors are not shy in their expressions, they do not control emotions, do not feel respect, and do not think about the appropriateness of phrases.
Such people are considered congruent, but are not attractive to others. Their behavior is repulsive.
When a person relies on the norms of society, respects others, he is pleasant to communicate with. His thoughts are open and understandable. He does not hide his emotions, which inspires confidence and attracts. Communication with such people benefits everyone. After all, a trusting atmosphere is created that helps to open up and relax. There is no need to hide emotions, they are manifestations of everyone, life without them is impossible. Only their awareness will help you accept yourself and become real.
Causes of Incongruent Behavior
Incongruity in psychology manifests itself when a person wants to appear to be someone he is not. For example, if you want to look more relaxed. The interlocutor artificially tries to put himself in a similar state. This is also typical for those who want to impress. At the same time, speech becomes louder and more emotional, but inside the person remains calm.
As a result, a struggle arises between real feelings and actions; a person cannot maintain such communication for a long time and quickly gets tired. As a result, the interlocutor notices incongruent manifestations, which leads to the cessation of interaction.
Loss of interest in the interlocutor
Congruence can be defined as human harmony. It is achieved when emotions coincide with actions. At the same time, a person becomes open and free in communication. He attracts other people, evokes sympathy and respect. The desire for such harmony will help you remain yourself and act according to your internal guidelines.
Description
Such people are very sincere and there are few of them, said psychologist Carl Rogers, who introduced into theoretical science the concept of congruence as a phenomenon in social life.
The personality-centered philosophy that the author adheres to was just gaining momentum at that time (90s of the last century). Congruence is both empathy and positivity in its limitless expression. This is what other authors of teachings about positive thinking and positivism say. From the point of view of psychiatrists, only positive contact between a person and society can bring the wonderful ideas of cooperation and constructivism to a common denominator.
When verbal and non-verbal expressions of personality do not conflict with each other, we can talk about openness, honesty, and the correspondence to reality of everything that this person claims. Words do not differ from deeds - psychologists say about such individuals.
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