How to become better and start being proud of yourself: detailed instructions for self-improvement


How to change and become a better, better person is of interest to many modern people striving for new heights. If you are not kind and always ready to help, then it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve satisfaction with life, true inner happiness.

How to become a good person, where to start.

In addition, it keeps self-esteem at a high level, so it is beneficial not only to others, but also to the person himself. The path of becoming is difficult and involves a huge number of difficulties. First of all, you will have to break yourself, your previous habits , and also reflect a lot.

Who is a good person?

Psychologists are sure that it is impossible to answer this question unequivocally.

Each person has his own idea of ​​who is considered good

What is said does not always really matter in practice, since those criteria that are named become completely insignificant in comparison with others.

This is why you cannot be good to everyone. What is accepted in one society is completely unacceptable in another .

For example, in a company of people who drink, a non-drinker will be a black sheep, and it is unlikely that he will enjoy any respect. And if he refuses to drink, then, at a minimum, sidelong glances will be directed at him.

But in the company of inveterate healthy lifestyleists, a person who drinks alcohol even moderately will be considered bad. Therefore, you need to look at the situation.

It cannot be said that a good person always adapts to the standards of others. He may well impose his demands , but he does it carefully and unnoticed by others.

“They don’t interfere with someone else’s monastery with their own rules.” But any charter to some extent provides for how to become a leader and set your own rules.


How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists Any charter provides for how to become a leader and set your own rules of life!
A true leader will always appear good in the eyes of the majority even though he does not try to adapt

It is not at all necessary to always strive for leadership, but it is imperative to be responsible (and this is one of its main features)!

If you try to generalize very roughly, which is quite difficult, given the diversity of social norms.

A good person has the following character traits:

  1. Willpower is needed in order to constantly improve. This is not only the quality of a good person, but also a prerequisite for becoming one. Without willpower, you cannot be popular with other people, because introducing new habits is a difficult process. Those who are afraid of difficulties and are lazy will not receive anything, but patience and work will grind everything down.
  2. Responsibility and ability to live, including tomorrow. First you need to develop responsibility for yourself (the understanding that actions will always have consequences, even if they are not fully realized), and then train this quality in relation to others. This is where kindness begins.

    How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
    Self-development is an endless process

  3. Reflection. This is a person’s ability to look at himself from the outside, and also to understand the reasons for his own actions and, in general, everything that happens in his head. Without reflection, self-development is impossible, because there is no understanding of where to start, how far you have progressed towards the goal, and without it, volitional control is impossible.
  4. Stress resistance. Without the ability to cope with stress, willpower is impossible. Stress has a negative impact on a person's self-control because that's how the brain works. The amygdala, which is responsible for the fight/flight response in the event of an imaginary or real threat, simply turns off the mind so that it does not have to think too much when it comes to survival.

But this is not all that is needed for self-development.

How to be strong mentally and psychologically

Are you striving to become a strong personality? Develop the ability to perceive the world positively and think. Sustainable results will appear with regular practice. Become an optimist and appreciate the experience gained.

Psychologically stable person

Ways to help you gain moral and psychological strength:

  • Be curious
    . This quality is a wonderful source of new knowledge, strength and inspiration. Exercise your curiosity by reading good literature, going on exciting trips, and educating yourself. Increase your knowledge in your field of activity.
  • Be patient
    . A successful person takes his time in making important decisions and does not rush. Choose the right time for the right step, do not “run ahead of the locomotive” if you do not want to provoke the emergence of unnecessary problematic circumstances. By becoming more patient, you will see more opportunities and will not find yourself in a stupid position.
  • Reduce stress levels
    . The negative impact of stress on your personal life and career is obvious. It is important for a person who wants to become mentally stronger to be able to deal with stress. Do you feel the tension rising? Relax by going outdoors, meeting with loved ones, or simply relaxing in the comfort of your own home.
  • Don't take things personally
    . People who are faced with an unsuccessful period in life should know that it is often not their fault what happened. A strong person will not consider himself a “victim of circumstances” or claim that the whole world is against him. Don't overthink why people act a certain way - often it's not about their attitude towards you, but about their personal qualities. People act in accordance with their inner fulfillment. Don’t analyze the reasons for other people’s actions - think about what you can do in the current situation.
  • Don't worry about the future while forgetting about the present
    . A strong person will not make endless plans for the future without doing anything to implement them in the immediate present. There is also no need to worry about what has not yet happened and may not happen. With your head in the clouds, you will miss important opportunities happening in the present.
  • Strive for positivity and new knowledge
    . Don’t ignore motivating literature, don’t forget about self-development and personal growth. Watch and read the relevant techniques. Many materials help you “find yourself,” understand your own desires, achieve the right psychological attitudes, and gain the necessary confidence. By learning to think positively, you will learn to perceive the world differently, see the best in it and, accordingly, bring the best into your life.

Where to start: reasoning, rules, tips

First you need to develop reflection.

If the question of how to become a good person is spinning in your head, this is already a very good sign. This means that this quality has been developed to some extent.

But we need to make sure there are no extremes. Reflection and introspection are not self-examination and self-flagellation.

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
Willpower training is the path to self-improvement

People in the last category expose themselves to unnecessary stress, which contradicts the fourth point of the previous subsection. In addition, self-digging is unproductive.

A person can spend days doing self-analysis, but still not come to anything. Why? Because in a state of severe emotional shock, the ability to think soberly is reduced by 70%.

Reflection and self-analysis should mean calmly pondering the answer to the question of how to improve oneself.

Here are some rules for developing reflection:

  1. It is necessary to read books on self-development, while simultaneously asking the question: how does this apply to me? Or maybe I have this too?
  2. You need to ask yourself “what would you do? Am I perfect? All people are imperfect, and you cannot be completely good. Therefore, you cannot criticize yourself for this. The advantage of this question is that the person admits that he has now made a mistake and outlines a route for self-development. But at the same time he does not criticize and gives himself the right to do wrong.
  3. It is important to train willpower.

Books to become smarter

List of books to increase your intelligence level:

  • Fiction - you can gain life experience from the characters. Using their example, they show what to do in a given situation, what consequences the mistakes made may entail.
  • Science fiction is food for reason and imagination.
  • Humorous publications help to take your mind off problems and look at life more easily. They also develop a sense of humor in their reader.
  • Physics helps to understand the laws of nature: from simple little things to global and large-scale phenomena.
  • Mathematics, at a minimum, prevents you from being shortchanged in the store, not to mention more important things. It’s not for nothing that they say that she is the “queen of sciences.”
  • Chemistry - it is impossible to imagine our life without it. It is used everywhere: in everyday life, medicine, production, agriculture, etc.
  • Biology - everything that is on our planet is connected with this subject. This science touches all aspects of human existence.
  • History - without knowledge of the past one cannot consider oneself an intellectual.

In general, all books on subjects taught in schools and universities are necessary for intelligence. They are included in the training program for a reason. It is also useful to read publications on psychology, self-development, etc. A well-read person can be identified immediately by their conversation.

How to become a good person tomorrow. Instructions

Where to start to achieve success and not stop there. Do the right things today to become a better person tomorrow!

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
Here's how to become a good person tomorrow!

  • No need to hurry. Self-development is an endless process. This doesn't mean you should give up trying to improve because of it. If a person hopes that a point will come when he considers himself good and rushes towards it, nothing will happen.
  • Only one skill needs to be trained at a time. Don't try to cover everything at once.
  • You need to count your good deeds. This is the most universal advice. After some time, there will be a desire for the number to become even larger. But without willpower, a person will even forget to count.
  • You should give people positive emotions. If a person considers an action good, but others do not consider it as such, then such an action is worthless. Therefore, it is necessary to look at the emotions of the other.
  • It is important to train empathy. This must be done in order to recognize the most subtle emotional notes of other people.

Fitness for the brain

Many people believe that athletes are not the smartest people. However, studies have proven that physical activity promotes the thinking process.

For example, a 1975 experiment among older adults confirmed that tennis and badminton players performed significantly better on intelligence tests than their non-athlete peers. After this, many more studies were carried out and they all proved that physical activity improves not only fitness and health, but also mental activity.

Gymnastics, swimming, fitness and other sports are good for the brain at any age, whether at 60 years old or at 10 or 21 years old.

How to become a good person according to the Bible, Christianity, Orthodoxy

The main Christian rule is: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This is the main principle that you need to follow to become a good person. How?

First you need to start being interested in other people, and everything will become clear

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
Christian qualities are useful for self-development.

It is also very important not to become proud of your good deeds and take them for granted.

Humility is a very necessary Christian quality. You cannot be proud of your “goodness” for the slightest reason, because in life you cannot always be good. In any case, a person is capable of sinning, and if reflection is not developed, then he will not even know about it.

It is very important to pray. The texts of prayers in Orthodoxy and Christianity, in general, are structured so that a person understands what to strive for.

It is useful to read the New Testament, where this topic is described in more detail. A good book is the Philokalia, in which the holy fathers describe their experience of fighting temptations and self-improvement.

Play mind games

Brain stimulation games and programs are usually developed by neurologists and cognitive psychologists specifically to improve the functioning of different parts of the brain. You can find a variety of games: some develop memory, others develop attentiveness, others improve spatial orientation, and others teach concentration.

How to do it

Think about how exactly you would like to pump up your brain. Do you want to train your memory? Play games that teach you to remember different sequences. Want to become more observant? Play games where you have to search for various objects. You can choose how to train your brain.

How to become a good person according to Islam?

To become a good person according to Islam, you need to meet a very large number of criteria.

Here are some of them:

  1. Faith and fear of God. All human virtues that are not supported by faith in Allah will have no meaning after death, although in real life, naturally, the benefit from them will be invaluable.
  2. Reason and intellect. Allah orders every Muslim to try to grow intellectually, because this faith itself is based on a rational understanding of one’s path in life.
  3. Physical strength. Naturally, it is needed in order to protect the weak and help them, and not to satisfy selfish whims.
  4. Success in business. Entrepreneurship is not only an opportunity to make money, but also to provide other people with work and money, and to give clients what they need. So this is a good cause, and history knows many successful entrepreneurs who profess Islam.
  5. Respectability. The appearance of a Muslim must be excellent and comply with Sharia law.
  6. Benefit to society. The system is simple - a good person is one who is useful to other people.
  7. The ability to live in a family with all the qualities necessary for this: responsibility, the ability to earn money, raise children, etc.

Talk to yourself

Many people consider self-talk a sign of an unstable mental state, but it has recently been shown to stimulate brain activity in many ways M. Buschkuehl, J. Jonides, WJ Perrig. Improving fluid intelligence with training on working memory. .

When you talk to yourself, you learn to organize and simplify information, which often helps you solve problems more effectively. Of course, it will be better if you still don’t talk to yourself in some public places, but at home it’s quite possible.

How to do it

Read aloud, recite tongue twisters, memorize poems or sing songs. If you are trying to remember something, then try to retell it to yourself as if you were trying to explain an incomprehensible thing to a stranger. Present information in different ways: as if you were talking to a colleague, or as if you were communicating with a child. This technique allows you to better assimilate and understand information.

How to change and become a good person from an egoist

First you need to figure out who an egoist is. This is a person who does something only for himself, and nothing for others.

It is not at all necessary to become an altruist and deprive yourself of all possible pleasures for the sake of others, but you need to learn to find a balance

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists

Everyone is selfish to some extent, and that's okay. But if you constantly deny yourself, then the quality of help to others will be low.

To stop being selfish and become a good person, you need to focus on doing good. You can start with a simple thing - being attentive to others. You need to learn to guess their needs.

When communicating with a person, you should ask yourself from time to time: “what does he want?”, “What is he missing?”, and give it to him.

How to become smarter in school, in school, in the classroom

You need to be attentive in class. This will allow you to catch information that others miss.

There are many different exercises to develop mindfulness. For example:

  • Walk along your usual route, paying attention to objects that you previously saw in passing.
  • Take a good look at the flower beds and trees.
  • Remember as many little things as possible: how many hatches there were along the road, how many people were walking towards you, etc.

Another effective super workout to quickly become the smartest boy or girl in school or class:

  • Ask someone to write a set of letters on paper and “hide” words in them.
  • Select what is encrypted, spending a minimum amount of time.
  • Such tasks also appear in crossword puzzle magazines.

If something is unclear in your studies, there is no need to be afraid or embarrassed to ask the teacher again. This is not a sign of stupidity.

If you seem to be smarter than your peers, there is no need to put yourself above the rest.

All people are equal. No one wants to communicate with arrogant, argumentative people. Therefore, be more modest, do not try to show and prove to everyone that you are the smartest.

How to be a good person to your friends

Each social group has its own norms and laws. Therefore, there is no universal advice on how to become a good person to your friends.

But here are some recommendations:

  1. Responsibility. This quality is useful with absolutely any people.
  2. Sense of humor. Someone who gives joy to others automatically appears to be a better person, even if he does not do other good things. People like positive emotions. And therefore, a person who is fun to be with will definitely be a plus.

    How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
    A good person is a good friend!

  3. Ability to help. Attention - at the moment when it is really needed. This is why you should develop empathy in order to understand whether help is appropriate or not.
  4. Erudition. It's interesting to be with smart people. If you know a lot of interesting facts, various everyday tips and recommendations, then this is definitely a plus.
  5. Listening skills. Without the ability to listen, you will not be able to gain the favor of other people.
  6. Ability to speak. Erudition closely coexists with the ability to speak. If you tell interesting facts in a boring way, you can end up looking like a bore rather than an erudite person.

Spells and potions to become smart

The use of magical rituals to improve intellectual abilities is a peculiar and controversial way. From a scientific point of view, it is unlikely to give results, but you can try, it won’t make it worse.

Spells must be cast on the waning moon, and you must sincerely believe in every word. This can be done by a woman or a man. Say the following over a glass of spring water: “The water is clear and clean! Fast streams brought you! Penetrate inside (...), saturate with new knowledge! Let your thoughts (husband, daughter, son...) become clear, your mind quick. Let everything be easy for him! Let him start to deal with everything quickly!”

Give the liquid to someone who needs magical help to drink.

If a teenager or adult has the ability to learn, but does not want to learn or is lazy, the following spell can be cast over a burning candle: “Burn, flame, flare up! Sway from my breath! So that the servant of God also burns for knowledge (...). Amen!"

After reading, the candle flame must be blown out.

To add wisdom and intelligence to yourself, you need to say the following words: “Great Lord! Send me the grace of Your Holy Spirit, giving us a bright mind and thoughts! So that, by listening to the science taught to us, we may be admonished for the glory of the Creator, for the joy of our loved ones, for the benefit of the church and the Fatherland! May your will be done in this! May Your Name be glorified! Amen!"

Whether to resort to potions and spells or not, everyone decides for himself. However, the time you spend on magic is better used for self-development (reading, brain exercises, etc.). These methods are proven and will definitely bring results.

How to become a good man for a girl

There is an art to being a good guy , and a few recommendations cannot fully describe it.

Here are some tips for guys:

  1. Be honest. If you constantly lie, then not only the girl will get discomfort, but also the guy himself. Everyone wants a trusting relationship, and this is a mutual thing. With the right attitude towards the information received from each other, the relationship will develop on its own.
  2. Positive emotions. You need to be positive and under no circumstances overload the girl with problems. At the same time, it is necessary to openly express your own feelings. You should be more optimistic, then you won’t have to hide the negative in order to please a girl.
  3. You need to remember everything she says. And brains will develop, and relationships will strengthen. Very often, quarrels happen because the guy has a bad memory. He really doesn’t remember well, but at the same time the girl thinks that he doesn’t need her. It is an incredibly pleasant feeling when another person remembers some little thing that was voiced six months, or even several years ago.
  4. Romance is the art of creating positive emotions and turning routine into a fairy tale. You need to master this craft, and then the girl will be happy with the guy.
  5. To compliment. Only the perfect compliment comes spontaneously, sincerely. The main thing is not to be shy about giving compliments.

How to become smart in 5 minutes

It is impossible to become smarter in a second. But if you devote 5 minutes every day to developing your intelligence, you can see the result in a couple of months. To do this you need:

  • Increase your vocabulary. If you hear a new word, don’t be lazy to look up its meaning in a dictionary.
  • Study independently the area in which you have the least knowledge. A truly smart person is a first-class specialist not only in the professional field, but also in related ones.
  • Become a polyglot. It is not necessary to take on several languages ​​at once. First, learn one, but to perfection.
  • Read more. We are talking about educational or classic literature, and not about meaningless novels. By reading, you also increase your vocabulary, which means you make your speech more beautiful and rich. When you see an unfamiliar word, clarify what it means and re-read the passage again, now understanding the entire text.
  • Watch serious educational or documentary television programs instead of entertainment shows (Dom-2, Comedy Club, etc.). Viewing them every day only clogs the brain with empty information.

How to become a good person for a child

To become a good person (father or mother), you need to have authority, and not impose it on your son or daughter. How? It is necessary to explain your position, and not force the child.

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists

Under no circumstances should you adhere to one of these parenting styles:

  1. Dominant hyperprotection. This is when a parent controls the child in everything, imposes his way of life on him, forces him to do what he says. Leads to criminal behavior, alcohol and drug addiction, or suicide. The reason is simple - a child needs love, and if it is given in a bad company, then he goes there. And if there is no person at all who is capable of giving love, then this leads to suicide.
  2. Permissive hyperprotection. Here the parent is too protective of the child, fulfilling his slightest whims. Leads to the fact that the latter grows up as an egoist and the complete opposite of a good person.
  3. Hypoprotection. This is when parents do not pay attention to the child at all or try to buy off love.
  4. Accidental parenting. A parent is highly dependent on his mood. If the mood is bad, he punishes for nothing, if he is in a good mood, he rewards for nothing. Such upbringing creates severe trauma and even increases the risk of schizophrenia in a son or daughter.

How to become smart in 1 day, overnight

If we assess the situation realistically, then it is unlikely that it will be possible to sharply become wiser in 1 day or night. However, in your social circle you can be considered an intellectual if you follow these tricky recommendations:

  • According to statistics, 99% of people consider themselves smart. If you remain silent and agree with what they say, on a subconscious level, others will decide that you are not lagging behind them in mental development.
  • Seek advice from intelligent people or those who consider themselves intelligent. It won't seem ignorant. On the contrary, they will think that you are smart for taking their opinion into account.
  • Communicate with erudite people. Seeing them in their company, you will also be labeled as a smart guy. Plus, you can learn something new from them.
  • Communicate with those who are intellectually less developed than you. You will stand out noticeably against their background. But you need to be careful with this. Being in the company of fools for a long time can stop you from developing intellectually.
  • Repeat the thoughts and statements of smart people. But be careful with this too. If a dispute and discussion arises, and you do not know the premises of what was said, you will find yourself in an awkward situation. Therefore, before you say anything, understand the words.
  • Observe intellectuals, imitate their behavior. People who have life experience, common sense, and act wisely are often called smart. Maybe you also have these qualities, you just don’t know how to use them.
  • Before you do something, think about what the action will lead to. How will everyone around you regard it, and will you then ruin your relationship with them?

How to quickly become a good person

It is impossible to quickly become a good person, because this route is life-long. The pace of progress along this road directly depends on the efforts a person makes. This is what willpower is for.

How to become a good person, where to start. Rules, advice, answers from psychologists
Controlling emotions and actions against people’s inappropriate behavior is a very important quality of a good person.

The ability to control your actions and react flexibly to a situation is most important to gain respect from other people

Do it the other way around

This method may seem quite absurd to some, but it is quite effective. Try brushing your teeth with a different hand than you usually use. Try holding the mouse in your other hand. Can you?

When we make small changes to our usual actions, our brain is forced to think about how, taking into account all the changes, we will get the same result as before. This has a beneficial effect on its functioning.

How to do it

Challenge your brain and force it to find unexpected solutions. Take a new route to work, learn to navigate using maps in an unfamiliar city, talk to your friends in the language you are learning.

Surround yourself with smart people

Our environment sometimes influences us much more than we would like. Therefore, surround yourself with people who will help you become more knowledgeable about issues that you do not understand.

How to do it

Expand your social circle and meet people from whom you can learn something good. You can also join some community of interests and find friends there.

We hope you will adopt a couple of methods from this article.

Learn languages

When we learn a new language, our brain is actively working: we train our memory by remembering new words, learn something we haven’t done before, train our speaking skills, and try to think in another language. All this sometimes helps to look at the world differently.

The brain of a person who speaks several languages ​​works much more efficiently than the brain of someone who speaks only one language.

How to do it

Find services and applications that will make learning foreign languages ​​easy and enjoyable. There are many resources to help you start learning a new language. Don't forget to practice your conversational skills and be sure to find a native speaker with whom you can correspond or communicate in person.

Personality in psychology

Let's first understand what it means to be a person in order to avoid confusion on this issue. In the classical sense, personality is a set of properties and characteristics of a person that are acquired by him in the process of living in society and active interaction with other people.

The key word in this concept is “society”. In order to become a person, we just need to be born, but in order to become a person, a little person needs to integrate into the social environment.

In this regard, the question arises: does every person become an individual? The answer is no, not everyone. If a person spent the first years of his life isolated from people, he will no longer be able to become a full-fledged member of society.

Brain structures responsible for higher mental functions, such as speech, thinking, memory, attention, are formed in the first five years of life. This happens by transforming external processes into internal ones. The child hears the speech of adults, begins to copy it, then transfers the speech inside - this is how thinking is formed.

If there is no example to follow, these functions will have nowhere to come from.

A striking example of people without personality are the so-called Mowgli children. These are children who, for some reason, after birth, ended up in a wild environment and were raised by animals. Even when they got to people, these children continued to behave like animals and were never able to socialize.

So if you are able to read these lines, you don’t have to worry - you already have a personality, like 99% of the Earth’s population. What kind of meaning then do people put into the expression “become a person”? You've probably heard it more than once.

The process of becoming a person is touched upon both in philosophy and in fiction. What is meant by it is not so much the formation of higher mental functions, but rather the acquisition by an individual of properties that provide him with a high place in the social hierarchy.

In order for this expression to correspond to its generally accepted meaning, the word “strong” must be added to it. Becoming a strong personality is what people who already have a personality strive for, but they don’t know it. This is what you and I will work on. I will tell you how to strengthen, enhance your personality and make it competitive.

Before moving on to the next block of the article, let me recommend to you one very good project that I found on the Internet six months ago and since then I have been constantly using for personal growth. The name of the project is Wikium. All Wikium materials are aimed at human self-development.

There is a lot of different things on the site, I recommend that you pay attention to three things. The first is exercise equipment. They help develop thinking, imagination, attentiveness, memory and other qualities. The cool thing about the simulators is that they are available to everyone immediately after registration. You don't need to pay money to practice.

The second is webinars. There are few of them yet, this direction is just beginning to develop, but gradually, I think, there will be more and more. Webinars can also be watched for free.

The third is courses. They are already paid, however, the cost is very low - in the range of 1000-3000 rubles for training.

I encourage you to check out the site and subscribe to its updates so you don't miss anything. At the end of the article, I will recommend some of the best courses specifically for those who want to become a more developed person.

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