The effect of charisma is similar to hypnosis. A person with charisma is an innocent manipulator. You either have this gift from birth or you don’t; it’s impossible to learn charm. Charismatic and charismatic are not the same thing. Are these facts? Or myths? Let's find out!
Before we begin the debriefing, I offer my favorite practice. Close your eyes for a moment, concentrate and determine for yourself: how do you interpret the term charisma, what is it and how does it manifest itself, which of your friends would you call charismatic? I am sure that you, dear reader, are not bothering yourself with the suggested “moment of reflection.” Well, maybe it’s even better this way - you won’t have time to formulate a biased attitude towards such a controversial topic...
What is charisma
Charisma was originally defined by Can Charisma Be Taught? Tests of Two Interventions as a unique gift of body and spirit, not available to every person. A little later, the opinion about her became more down-to-earth, and charisma turned into a set of specific qualities that allow a person to influence others.
Charismatic individuals masterfully establish emotional connections with people, change their opinions and behavior to suit their plans. Due to such abilities, they often become leaders A Quantitative Review of Research on Charismatic Leadership and lead others, moreover, with their full consent.
This quality will be useful to a person in any area of life, no matter who he is: a prophet, a senior manager or a salesman.
Charismatic doctors tend to have more Understanding and Assessing Nonverbal Expressiveness: The Affective Communication Test of patients, lectures by charismatic teachers are popular with students. Charisma determines success in politics and acting, and increases sales.
And the best part is that this useful quality can be developed. In one experiment, Can Charisma Be Taught? Tests of Two Interventions Just six weeks of training significantly increased the charisma of participants. Their speech became more emotional and expressive, so that both the subjects themselves and outside observers admitted that after the experiment their speeches looked much more attractive.
Is it possible to become charismatic without losing yourself?
You can, if you initially had the necessary qualities. It happens that, due to some circumstances, a person simply cannot develop important character traits. It's never too late to correct the situation. Just a couple of months of regular training and you won't recognize yourself.
But there are also those who should not go against their essence. A good example is introverts. It is difficult for them to be sociable and to establish contacts with a large number of people. In such cases, they will experience severe discomfort. Therefore, you need to think carefully about the feasibility of developing charisma.
What does charisma consist of?
Charisma is not some unique gift, but a very specific set of skills that are present to one degree or another in every person.
Emotional intellect
In most cases, a person's emotions prevail over reason. They form attachments, control behavior, and underlie all motivation. Therefore, emotional intelligence A Research about Emotional Intelligence on Generations - the ability to manage your experiences and the feelings of other people - is one of the main qualities of charisma.
A charismatic person understands what emotions he experiences and why, knows how to sincerely and freely express them at the right moment and suppress them when the situation requires the opposite.
Moreover, he has developed empathy - the ability to understand the experiences of other people. By responding to the feelings of others, a charismatic leader gets in tune with them and creates the emotional connection necessary for attachment.
Make people feel comfortable around you
The best way to do this is to let the person you are talking to know that they are special and interesting. A charismatic person is one who can easily start a conversation on any topic with anyone and charm everyone with his charm.
1) Feel equal to your interlocutor. Whether you're talking to a potential big investor or your teenage nephew, always put yourself on the same level as the person you're talking to. That is, you should not show that you are lower or higher in status. If you divide people by status, rank or any characteristics, then they will do the same to you. And in such conditions it is unlikely that you will feel freedom in communication.
2) Ask people about their lives, but do it sincerely. Don't be too intrusive. You must understand what question is convenient and not to ask a specific person. You wouldn’t ask a woman who recently lost her husband about how she lives alone, would you? This will just be an awkward question, and not a manifestation of interest. To ensure you don’t get into trouble, ask people about what they already tell everyone about. For example, an old lady who chats incessantly about her wonderful grandchildren will only be happy with your question about where they study and what they can do. And you will get a boost to charisma.
3) Practice active listening. When they tell you a story or share their experiences, sometimes nod in agreement, say “you’re right,” “of course,” “I understand,” and ask clarifying questions. All this will let the interlocutor understand that you are really interested in listening to him.
4) Address people by name. Firstly, for every person his name is the most pleasant sound combination of all that exists. Secondly, by constantly repeating the name of your new friend, you will prevent his name from being forgotten at the wrong moment.
5) If you give a compliment, do it sincerely. Complimenting for the sake of complimenting risks looking like flattery. And no one likes flattery. If you want to please a person, find what you really like about him and voice it. This way the compliment will look natural and genuine. If they give you a compliment, then you don’t need to lower your gaze in embarrassment or say “Oh, what are you doing.” Accept compliments with honor and a discreet but open smile.
