60 tips on how to become better internally and externally, in relationships, friendships, communication? How to become better in 30 days?

Author: Oleg Maltsev

The desire for self-improvement is a sign of an intelligent and successful person. After all, by working on yourself and eradicating shortcomings, you can achieve a lot not only at work, but also in other areas of life. Becoming a better person isn't that hard. The main thing is to decide on the rules that you need to follow regularly and not be lazy to work on yourself.

Motivation to become better

Set yourself a main goal - this is the motivation to become better . If you know your goal, you can achieve success. Ask yourself what exactly you want to succeed at and become better at. Perhaps this applies to work, relationships, hobbies, or all at the same time? You won't achieve your goal without motivation. The better motivated you are, the higher the chance that you will be able to realize your plans.
Voice the goal as real. Voice your goal correctly, replace the unclear conditional with the real, accomplished one. This way you will begin to motivate yourself and focus on the main goal. Let’s say not “I want a car,” but “I have a car.”
Create a positive environment . In addition to a clearly formed goal, your close environment can influence your luck. If there are like-minded people in this environment, they also motivate you and support you in difficult moments. You have a good influence on these people because you are also a like-minded person for them.
Use singing for motivation. Do you want to strengthen your relationships with your loved ones? Participate in group singing. Scientists have been able to prove that singing helps relieve stress, anxiety, and pain. When a person is happy, his productivity increases.
Focus on benefits. Take a piece of paper, describe in detail the benefits necessary to achieve the goal - this is what will begin to motivate you. Ask yourself how your life will improve, you will become a sufficient person, meet nice people, visit different countries, expand your own horizons.

Useful tips

The right path to help you become better

To become better for yourself and in the eyes of other people, you should develop your horizons, leave your comfort zone, and master new skills. This will bring feelings of joy and happiness.

Talents

Each person has some skills better than others that bring him pleasure. If it seems that there is no such thing, then the talent has not yet been discovered. Here you will have to search, engage in different hobbies and find the right one.

Research has proven that one human psychotype has similar skills. If a person likes hobbies that provoke the production of adrenaline, then he will never become an artist. Defining the type will allow you to find out a list of interests that may be of interest.
Changes will not appear suddenly, so you need to be patient. Sometimes, in order to achieve what you want, you need to expand your social circle, give up some habits and free up more time for a new hobby.
The courses will help you quickly develop the necessary skills and meet other people. Such ways to find your talent are the most productive and safest for getting out of your comfort zone.

Favourite buisness

To be happy, you need to devote more time to your favorite things. The best way is to turn your hobby into a career, but not everyone succeeds. A feeling of satisfaction comes when a person does things that are very meaningful to him. For example, feelings can be expressed through music, drawing and other hobbies.

Many believe that purposeful people who are not distracted by other areas of life are more successful in their careers. This is an unhealthy lifestyle. Don't get too hung up on one thing, otherwise you might miss out on other more interesting opportunities.
If you feel hatred towards your work, then there must be reasons for this. Even minor changes can make you look at work differently. If nothing changes, then it is better to find an activity that will correspond to the person’s values.

Experiments

To become a better person, a person must find a balance between rest and work. If you devote more time to one area of life, then a person will drown in monotony. People tend to quickly get used to good events and there is a possibility of developing dependence on positive life experiences.

Research has proven that productivity increases greatly when you step outside your comfort zone. It can be scary to take this step, but new acquaintances and impressions will lead to success.
A person ceases to be flexible due to a reluctance to leave the comfort zone. Any challenge to your own weaknesses leads to valuable life experience.

It is worth returning to mindfulness meditation again. Practice is a good starting point to help you develop the ability to identify recurring habits of thought that arise in the process of self-discovery.

How to become better and more successful?

Plan. How to become better and more successful? Take every moment to reflect on what you can achieve. Improve something, change something. When you come to specific actions, you will know where to start and what to do next.
Finish any task. Every successful and rich person always tries to bring his own affairs and undertakings to the end. There are, of course, stops and difficulties. But don't give up halfway and don't give up on your dream if you're experiencing difficulties.
Work on your mistakes to improve. Errors also occur often and not only for you. But thanks to them, you will be able to find a successful solution that will be correct and will take you to the top of achieving your goal.
Do not despair. Only losers despair, lose hope, and do not believe in their own strength. The destiny of the successful is to be an optimist, to look into the future with hope.
Don't look at those who are to blame for your mistakes. Don't look for the guilty - this is bad form. Analyze your failures, draw the right conclusions, only then will you become stronger and more successful.
If necessary, start over. Let you make several attempts, but each time there will be fewer mistakes and more experience. This means achieving success is more realistic.
Do the work gradually. Don't try to do everything at once. First do one thing, then the next, follow the created plan.
Work at a specific time every day. Warn your family that you will be working, for example, from 18:00 to 21:00. No one should disturb you at this time.
Save your own time. Eliminate from your life everything that prevents you from working. This will give you plenty of free time to accomplish your plans.
Rest. Don't overwork yourself. Sometimes it’s useful to just be lazy and do nothing. Go for a walk, go to the cinema, listen to pleasant music.

Plan

Spirituality

On the path of self-development, be sure to pay attention to the spiritual sphere of life. You need to do this so that everything is good and calm in your inner world.

Meditate

Imagine that consciousness is your home. What kind of atmosphere reigns there? Isn't there too much rubbish in the form of grievances, doubts, regrets, envy? Maybe it's time for some spring cleaning?

Meditation is the best way to bring order to your inner world. With its help, you will learn to control your thought flow, manage your emotions and establish a connection between consciousness and the unconscious. If you are not yet familiar with meditation, I suggest you start by mastering the technique presented in the book “Cleansing the Soul: Lessons in Meditation” by Katsuzo Nishi.

Sit comfortably in a chair and relax. Select a point in front of you at approximately eye level and focus your gaze on it. Stare at her until your eyelids become heavy and close on their own.

Now imagine the image of some object that is familiar to you, for example, your favorite vase. Mentally examine the object, try to catch the smallest details. Let the image be bright and rich. If unnecessary thoughts enter your head, drive them away and return to contemplation. To begin with, try to keep your attention on the subject for at least 10 minutes. Increase the session time each time.

And before going to bed, I advise you to meditate with this video.

Do charity work

Be grateful for what you have and always remember those who are worse off than you. In the article “Habits of Successful People” I already wrote about the importance of charity. By sacrificing something for the benefit of others, we feel strong and needed.

You don't necessarily need to help with money. You can participate in volunteer projects by investing your time and effort. Start small. Even making a bird feeder and filling it with food is already charity.

How to become better and kinder?

Empathize. How to become better and kinder? Read other people's emotions, express sympathy if the person needs it. Even if this initially works out for you mechanically, over time you will begin to feel and understand those around you.
Don't answer harshly. Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and imagine how he feels at such a moment. Look at the situation from the other side. This way you will become less irritable and respond kindly.
Every evening, write down 3 thanks to people who came to your aid. If you don't find such a person, then you simply don't find anything good in yourself.
Give your loved ones communication pleasures. For example, pleasant compliments will do. After them, you will be able to notice what experiences your interlocutor is experiencing, people will become more open to you. In addition, you will hear pleasant words in response, which will lift your mood and self-esteem.
Treat your family and friends kindly . Turn a blind eye to some of the shortcomings that your loved ones have. Stay silent at a time when you need to give advice, but nothing can be changed. Be less irritable, don’t lash out at your loved ones, even if your day has been quite difficult.

Be kinder

Think before you speak

Many people really suffer from unfair and hurtful words. Is it really necessary to say something offensive to a child who has committed a childhood mistake? A colleague who has little experience? To a husband who doesn’t understand something simply because he’s a man? What if someone told you something like that? Many wise people were considered wise because, under the influence of strong emotions, they did not say nasty things to anyone. Appreciate and weigh every word, give yourself time to think.

15 books that will change the way you think about life

How to become better in relationships and friendships?

Encourage each other. How to become better in relationships and friendships? Find out from your loved one what he wants to be better at. Encourage his success in this area. This way you can help him become better at his hobby, develop and achieve success.
Don't repeat the mistakes you made in the past. Remember what happened to you in a relationship you had in the past? What specific situations are you facing right now? Work through each such aspect. Maybe you don’t warn your partner that your plans change, you’re late home, you forget about errands. Work through and eliminate negative aspects from new relationships.
Try to improve together. In a long-term relationship, there are various changes. If one of you changes alone, it will affect your relationship with your partner. Changes are brought about by all the events that occur, for example, moving to another city, another job, or the birth of a child. Constantly talk to your loved one about change. Discuss with each other all the good and bad impacts on your relationship. Such actions will strengthen the relationship.
Listen . Listen to everything your loved one says to you, pay more attention to your partner’s words. When speaking, pay attention to your words as well as your non-verbal communication. Look into your partner's eyes, don't turn away from him. It is often important to speak in silence, without phones in your hands, or the TV on in the room.
Express your emotions. Open up to your loved one, share with him your own fears, experiences, and feelings. The more you hide from your significant other, the less he will take part in your life. Your partner cannot read your thoughts or guess your desires.
Empathize . You will strengthen your relationship and begin to understand each other better. Show empathy, listen to your partner, understand him. This behavior will help you solve many problems, heal emotional wounds, and become the best for a man.
Farewell. Sometimes it is difficult to accept the fact that a loved one views the world differently, your perceptions differ. Do not take revenge on your partner, do not seek retribution, do not prove that you are right. Learn to smooth out rough edges and find compromises.
Be friendly. Be kind to your loved one even in difficult situations. Kindness is always helpful. Good deeds affect people's happiness.
Be grateful . Gratitude and positive energy flows have a positive effect on health, eliminate depression, strengthen the immune system, and make relationships better. Be grateful in your relationships. Thank your loved one for everything, for example, for always being there.
Love yourself. Even though this point comes last, it is very important. After all, only if you love yourself, others will love you too.

It is important to improve in relationships

Effective Memory Techniques

Now let's look at some effective mnemonics.

Keywords

It will be easier for you to remember a large amount of information if you make short notes for yourself. Divide the information into equal blocks, highlight key words in each of them and write them down. They will be triggers that start the associative series and help recreate data from memory.

Using the same principle, it is convenient to take notes on lectures. Don’t try to grasp everything at once and write it down word for word – you won’t succeed anyway. Listen, think about it, and write down the most important things.

Logic chains

The famous American psychologist John Miller studied the patterns of short-term memory. He found that at a given moment in time we can hold 7 objects (+/- 2) in our minds. But as it turned out, this rule can be easily circumvented.

To do this, you need to unite all objects with some common concept. It is much easier for the brain to remember meaningful, connected information than a collection of disparate elements. The easiest way is to come up with a logical, meaningful story with key words and remember it.

Rhymes

You've probably noticed that poetry is much easier to memorize than prose. In the very structure of the poem there are clues (rhythm and rhyme) that help us select the right words in the process of reproduction.

I still remember by heart all the exception verbs of the second conjugation in Russian that we learned in third grade. And all because our teacher figured out how to rhyme them. It turned out to be a funny poem.

Look, offend, see.

Hold and hate.

Depend, hear, drive.

Twist, endure, breathe.

So if possible, rhyme what you need to remember. For example, new foreign words, a shopping list in a store.

Abbreviations

My dad actively uses this method. Every time before going to the store, he writes a shopping list, but does not take it with him, but makes up an abbreviation from the first letters. For example, there was: butter, cheese, apples, candy, oranges, fish, nuts, milk. And it turned out: MSYAKAROM. Thanks to this system, he always knows the exact quantity of products that need to be purchased and easily recreates them according to the first letters. The method is suitable for remembering all types of lists, as well as the names of people in large companies.

Mnemonic phrases

Mnemonic phrases are invented to remember difficult-to-remember information. And they work great! We all learned the colors of the rainbow from the phrase “Every hunter wants to know where the pheasant sits.” Here are some other fairly popular mnemonic sentences:

“Kolya decided to sew a caftan, maybe it will be without flaws” - to remember the largest states (Russia, Canada, China, USA, Brazil, Australia, India).
“On a frosty evening I climbed onto the cabin boy’s mast, trying to see an unfamiliar port” - to remember the order of the planets of the solar system (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto).
“For every high school student with an imagination, geography is already clear” - for memorizing the G7 countries (Canada, USA, Great Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Japan).

By the way, nothing prevents you from coming up with such phrases yourself. Let's create a phrase together to remember Russian cities that have a metro. These are Moscow, St. Petersburg, Yekaterinburg, Samara, Kazan, Nizhny Novgorod, Novosibirsk. What I came up with is this: “The boy Sasha ate soup and fed the unfortunate rhinoceros.” Now you can try it too. You can change words in places - the order is not important. I'm waiting for your options in the comments!

Edge effect

This effect was discovered by the German psychologist Hermann Ebbinghaus. Conducting experiments to study memory, he came up with an interesting pattern. A person remembers best the beginning and end of any information.

Do you want to check? Read the sequence of words once.

Stool, nettle, ceiling, fish, tree, jacket, bee, mirror, business trip, chocolate, inspiration, queen.

Now try to reproduce this list. I bet you remember the words “stool” and “queen” well, but what about the rest? Surely many words from the middle of the list have escaped your memory.

How to use this effect during conscious memorization? Divide the information into blocks, teach the most important and difficult ones at the beginning and at the end. Distribute the rest in the middle. When memorizing large amounts of information, you can alternate - today we learn the blocks in one order, tomorrow we swap them.

Be wrong

A very interesting feature of memory was discovered by researchers from University College London. We remember better what we have made mistakes in. Statement of your own ignorance stimulates memory and gives an additional boost of motivation.

Next time, before you start learning new material, give yourself a short test. For example, write down unfamiliar foreign words and try to translate them intuitively. Naturally, you won't succeed. But the “negative” experience will help you subsequently learn these words twice as fast.

How to become a best friend?

To become a best friend and maintain friendship for years:

Find time to meet with a friend. Family, work, husband - all this and much more can take up a lot of time. Be sure to find time to see your girlfriend. At least for a couple of hours, get out of the house and be alone.
Accept your friend for who she is . A friend will never remake you according to her own patterns. Therefore, understand and accept your friend with her shortcomings and positive qualities, respect her choice, even if you are not sure that it is right.
Keep secrets. Share everything with your best friend, for example, your own plans, fantasies. Talk about your feelings and worries. Do you want your friend to trust you? Know how to keep her secrets.
Listen, understand. Sometimes everyone wants to speak out. Be able to become a “vest” for your friend so that she can cry. Listen to her, don’t criticize, don’t use phrases like: “I warned you,” just sympathize. Hear her misunderstandings and resentments in time. Let her explain the situation and get rid of her worries.
Be there for you in difficult times. If your friend falls on hard times, put your own affairs aside. Meet with her, listen, console her, develop a plan together that will help “conquer the world.”
Be happy for your friend. Take your friend's achievements as your own, praise her, give her compliments.
Share positivity. Is your friend stressed? Sympathize with her, help her. If she is constantly depressed, talk to a friend and give her a lot of good emotions. Take this into account, look at the good moments every time in any situation that arises.
Be objective. Every friend wants to hear objective judgments from a loved one. The more serious the topic, the more important your opinion will be for your friend. Never flatter or deceive.
Know how to forgive . A person is not capable of doing only good deeds. If your friend made a mistake in something or regrets what she did, forgive her. Find out right away, talk, tell about your own feelings. Understand your friend why this happened to her, forgive her, forget the offense so that she does not break your friendship.

And in friendship

What you need to know about the memory device

Memory is a complex mental function with the help of which we acquire new knowledge and gain practical experience. Our world would never have become the way we see it without the incredible capabilities of our memory.

Scientists have calculated that the volume of human memory is about a thousand terabytes. At the same time, the brain requires only 20 watts of energy to process all information. This makes it the most energy efficient place to store information.

Memory includes several interrelated processes in which different areas of the brain are involved:

Memorizing new information and integrating it into the general system of associative connections.
Storage in long-term memory.
Reproduction of material in unchanged form as needed.
Forgetting information that is unnecessary and irrelevant, according to the brain.

We will consider all these processes in detail in the article “How to develop memory,” but now we will focus on memorization.

Memorization is the first link in this long chain. Any errors and interference at this stage nullify all subsequent brain work. What does this process look like from the inside?

Any information perceived by the brain causes a response in the nervous system. Neurons (specific brain cells) become excited and begin to exchange electronic impulses. Passing along nerve fibers, these impulses leave traces and form neural pathways. Most of them are subsequently destroyed, leaving only those that managed to gain a foothold.

Consolidation occurs in two cases: if the stimulus was very strong and if the signals passed along this path many times in a row. In the first case, so-called stress memorization is activated, and in the second, memorization through repeated repetitions.

Our task is to ensure that neural pathways are strengthened as quickly as possible and with the least energy consumption. To do this, you need to know some of the features of memory and use them to your advantage.

How to become better in appearance: have you looked better?

Explore the latest fashions. Browse popular magazines. Thanks to them, you will know about all the new hairstyles, makeup that is popular today, and other fashion trends. You can buy the best trending new items for you in the near future.
Find out what texture your hair has. You might like your friend's hairstyle. This does not mean that it will look the same on you. As a rule, it depends on what structure the hair has. Straight and curly curls hold their shape differently.
Choose a haircut that suits you. This way you will undoubtedly become better in appearance.
Use cosmetics that enhance your beauty and disguise imperfections. Cosmetics are considered powerful beauty tools. But don’t hide yourself under makeup and don’t force yourself into fashion. Because not all makeup trends are right for you.
Cleanse your skin regularly. When you wash your face, use cleansers. Choose those that suit only your skin type. Do this once a day, in the evenings before bed.
Choose a good wardrobe. Emphasize your own ideal parameters, hide unwanted ones. Choose the colors that best match your eye and hair color.
Keep track of the condition of your belongings. Washed and ironed clothes look better than dirty clothes that have been lying around in the corner of the bedroom for a week. It doesn't matter what things you decide to choose. First, make sure they look good.

Follow trends and choose the best for yourself

How to become better in 30 days?

Do you think it’s impossible to become better in that amount of time? It’s very simple, you just need to follow these tips:

Use affirmations for happiness. In the next month, use more of these words so that they make you and those around you smile.
Try something new every day. You can start a hobby, interest, or even a new acquaintance. Once you get the hang of it, new experiences will open the door to a big world of other possibilities that will radically change your life.
Do selfless acts every day. By positively influencing the lives of others, you also change your own life. Do selfless acts more often, this will help your loved ones become happier.
Devote some time every day to your passion. Don't forget to devote at least a couple of hours to a hobby that you really enjoy. It will make you a much better person.
Stay positive. You will have good thoughts, look at the world positively, and receive many opportunities that you can use in the future.
Eliminate bad habits. Try to get rid of at least some of them within a month - night eating, smoking, using swear words - away with it!
Watch less TV. Choose another entertainment for yourself. Look at the world, enjoy nature, enjoy what life has to offer you.
Every day, read or watch something that inspires you to new achievements. Watch a video that motivates you, or read some useful quotes, posts, stories for inspiration.

Books on how to become better
Read also: What to do when there is nothing to do “100 useful activities”
Do something every morning that makes you smile and will keep you in good spirits throughout the day. Watch an interesting video on the Internet, a funny comic, find the latest jokes. Healthy laughter stimulates the mind and replenishes energy reserves.

Regularity and gradualness are important.
We advise you to read other psychological articles on the site:

Who copes with separation easier - a man or a woman?
Delayed life syndrome
Why doesn't my husband want to work?
Psychology: resentment towards the father, men and women's diseases
Psychology of greed

Self-improvement tasks

The task of self-improvement is:

creation of new human qualities;
formation and tempering of his character;
acquiring new skills and knowledge.

Any development that a person consciously undertakes is the path to success. But working on yourself is hard work and, at times, very thankless.

This is due to the fact that any changes in a person occur at a slow speed and a person quickly gets used to them. Therefore, even with intense training, nothing seems to change.

To understand what changes have occurred, it is advised, for example, to either keep a diary of your internal feelings (if this is some kind of psychological training), or take “before” and “after” photographs (in the case of physical training).