Kiss - when it will happen and what it will be like. About the first kiss

What is important to know about a kiss

Tactless behavior can create the wrong impression about a person, and then the relationship will end prematurely. Let's look at all the secrets of kissing on any date.

Choosing the right moment

The first tender touch of the lips of lovers is very significant. When choosing a moment, consider the following:

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Ambient atmosphere. A crowded place where you will be in full view of everyone is not suitable for such a romantic event. If this happens during a slow dance at a disco or at a festive table, it will look ridiculous. But if you choose a romantic place: somewhere under the moon, with a beautiful view of the city, after a pleasant date, such a kiss will provoke further meetings. The memory of this intimate event will last a lifetime.
Time to get acquainted. Depending on what kind of date this is, how long people have known each other, the first contact is approaching. If you just met a girl and after 5 minutes you start kissing, then your chances of reciprocity are low. In most cases, the first kiss occurs on the second or third date, but each person has his own opinion on this matter.

Signs of how to understand that a girl is ready to kiss, as well as how to show this desire to a woman:

look closely into your partner's eyes;
open your mouth slightly, pout your lips;
smile playfully, shoot your eyes.

If a person does not want to kiss, this can be seen by the following traits:

does not shorten the distance, but moves away when a partner approaches;
does not look into the eyes for a long time;
gets embarrassed at hints of intimacy;
avoids touching.

What should he be like?

Of course, it depends on the situation. If two adults in a passionate embrace are inclined to continue, then a hot French kiss will be very helpful. But most often such scenes are typical of Hollywood films; in people's lives, love fever is rarely captured.

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The first kiss has a special magic. From this moment on, people begin to get closer to each other and show their interest. When kissing, an exchange of emotions and energy occurs.

Its necessity should not be discussed. It should appear unexpectedly during a special romantic moment. The fusion of lips should be pleasant and sensual. You should not press too hard against each other, you need to lightly hug the woman around the waist, and she needs to put her hands on the man’s shoulders.

Then you should press your lips slightly, tilt your head slightly to the side, and keep your lips on your partner’s lips. If a man wants to take the initiative and touch his tongue to a girl’s lips, then he needs to see how ready she is to continue. If your partner begins to move her lips, then you can act. But this must be done gently and delicately. Don't pounce on it and get sucked in like a vacuum cleaner.

How to behave further

After a kiss, you can simply stay in each other’s arms, breathe in your partner’s hair, and whisper tender words in your ear. Next, look into the eyes. When the date is over, thank the girl for the meeting and agree on the next rendezvous.

If after the first contact of lips a person feels shame and embarrassment, then he needs to relax, stop being nervous and understand that this is a natural process. Even if it was unsuccessful, there is nothing wrong with that. Often the first kiss is not the best for a couple. It happens that it becomes funny, then you need to try to hold back your laughter and just smile. For girls, this event is more nervous, so they should definitely decide that they are ready to kiss this particular guy.

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How to deal with embarrassment

Although caresses surround us from birth, a person is accustomed to conveying his feelings with the touch of lips and hugs, the first long-awaited kiss causes fears. Most often, girls put it off as long as possible. It would seem that there is nothing complicated, just fold your lips into a bow, but it can be very difficult to get over yourself. Inexperience scares a person, and it’s not easy to overcome embarrassment.

First you need to work on two sides: psychological and physical. As for the psychological, you need to prepare yourself emotionally and repeat special affirmations.

To feel confident during your first kiss, you should also practice your movements.

If you kiss for the first time in your life

The first kiss is accompanied by great excitement, so you need to first tune in to it.

To do this, it is recommended to perform psychological training:

Be alone with yourself, sit comfortably, relax.
Imagine a date with your loved one.
Now think about touching it. Stroke your hair, kiss your cheek, gently moving your lips all over your face.
Imagine how he will answer you.
Press your lips together.

Classes should be continued daily until the process becomes familiar, confidence appears, and embarrassment disappears. While imagining this scene, be completely immersed in emotion. Mental manipulation can turn even the most modest girl into a brave one.

In order to learn how to control your lips and tongue, you need to use an additional object. The most popular would be tomato. This is where you should practice first contact. You should start with gentle touches with your lips and light movements of your tongue, imagining your partner’s lips. Then you need to cut out the middle of the tomato and try to move it with your tongue.

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Basic rules for the first kiss

Here are a few rules to help you survive this moment:

Let go of all worries. The first kiss is just a demo, a small sample of the upcoming sex. It doesn't have to be too complicated or perfect. Later, you can decide how you both like to kiss.
Self-confidence plays a huge role in this matter. From the first kiss, a girl will understand what kind of relationship you will be in. Therefore, it is advisable to be as gentle as possible and moderately domineering.
Create the appropriate atmosphere. Before you taste her lips, touch her arms, back, hair .
If you think she might turn her head back in surprise, hold her face with your hand.
Don't force the young lady to kiss you. Perhaps the girl is not yet ready to move to the next level. If a woman turns you down, don't be nervous. You can calmly ask why she does not respond to your desire. There is a high probability that the girl will explain her behavior. Based on her answer, you can understand how to proceed.

The question of who should kiss first does not disappear from the forums. After analyzing people's answers, I came to the conclusion that most users are more inclined to take the male initiative in terms of the first kiss.

So kiss first and you definitely won’t go wrong.

Everyone has their own opinion

Opinions about the appropriate time to kiss a man or woman for the first time differ depending on the person's gender and social norms.

Attitude of men

Men are more relaxed about kissing; they don’t care what kind of date they’re on; not everyone is ready to wait for a second meeting. If a guy likes a girl, he immediately takes action. But it is worth considering that men like ladies who do not allow themselves to be kissed on the first date. Of course, a kiss can enhance the impressions of time together. A man needs to remember that the first contact should be gentle and careful, even if emotions are raging inside him. For such an event it is important to choose the right moment and place.

What girls think

Women take romantic events more seriously and attach great importance to the first touch of their lips to their partner. For them, this is a manifestation of sympathy and further interest in their partner. At a young age, girls make contact more easily and strive to kiss for the first time as quickly as possible in order to look more mature and cooler in the eyes of others.

To impress a man, you need several meetings to test his feelings and intentions. There is even a “five date rule.” This approach clearly limits early kisses on the lips. This eliminates applicants who are only after achievements and do not perceive the girl as an individual.

Public opinion

Previously, a decent woman did not even think about when it would be possible to allow even a slight touch of lips. It was believed that only an indecent person could afford such a manifestation of her sympathy. In the Middle Ages, an Italian man who kissed a woman was expected to marry her. In Rus', kissing received sexual overtones after the adoption of Christianity. In Russia, they have become widespread, for example, the president can kiss a person on the cheek when meeting with the people. In America this is considered harassment.

There are no restrictions on touching with lips in society. Every adult is free to do as he pleases.

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How to prepare for your first kiss

What are kisses in general? Kisses are touching your loved one with your lips, expressing sympathy, affection, love. They are related, friendly, loving, sexual. The first kiss differs from other kisses in its boundless tenderness and timidity, mixed with extreme curiosity.

The difficulty of the first kiss is that it does not happen spontaneously and reflexively, but requires preparation and even some planning. It is usually very difficult, because without any practice, it is difficult to understand whether you know how to kiss or not. And you don’t want to look completely worthy in front of your loved one. How to prepare for your first kiss?

In general, we can say that the kissing program is embedded in every person. We see actors kissing on screens and people kissing on the streets, friends and acquaintances tell us about kisses, from early childhood we are kissed by our parents and we ourselves kiss our relatives... In a word, kisses in our lives are not at all a rare occurrence. So why is the first kiss so scary, because in a romantic situation you want to kiss even more than in everyday life? Because we don’t know what the first kiss should be like, and we are very afraid that we will behave in the moments when the lips of two people touch in a completely different way than required.

The most reliable way to prepare for your first kiss is mental training. In order to understand how to do the first kiss correctly, you need to use your imagination and imagine the situation. Let's try to imagine our favorite guy. Let's lean back freely in a chair or armchair and imagine how we kiss his lips and face. You need to imagine until it all seems real. We put as many feelings as possible into this representation of the first kiss with a guy - this will help improve the effectiveness of mental rehearsal. Let's try to imagine how we inhale his scent, how we feel the tenderness of his lips and the desire to respond to our caresses with all our souls.

If we conduct such training quite often, our consciousness will believe in the reality of what is happening, and we will no longer have to think about how to prepare for the first kisses as fully as possible - the mental experience of these kisses will allow us to gain deep self-confidence.

When a kiss is inappropriate

If there is mutual attraction between two people, then why resist feelings? There is a catch to this. Perhaps the man will not think anything bad about you. But psychologists advise not to rush into kissing, much less intimacy. To interest a man, you need to awaken the hunter in him, who will look after the girl as if she were prey. During this, both partners will be able to understand whether they are suitable for each other. If you force things, the guy may quickly evaporate or a relationship with unclear prospects will begin.

On the first evening of dating, kissing is unacceptable. As a rule, they do not lead to serious relationships. If this is a holiday romance, then the choice is made by partners who want unforgettable emotions.

If you are in another country where kissing on the street is considered bad manners, for example, in Japan, then you should limit the manifestation of such a romantic impulse.

The sacrament of the first date

A woman and a man who are unfamiliar with each other may experience discomfort on their first date. In order to avoid this, psychologists recommend spending it in a crowded place and, regardless of what exactly the couple chooses - a cafe or skating rink, cinema or theater combined with an evening walk, such an atmosphere will allow them to study each other closer.

An additional advantage for women in a crowded place is that in such an environment they feel more relaxed and safe with an unfamiliar person or even a complete stranger. Moreover, if we return to the above, then the meeting can turn into friendship, and who gives flowers to friends?

It is worth taking into account that for both a guy and a girl, the first rule of bad taste would be to be late for the first date (in fact, for all subsequent ones too).

Many girls may find it strange that a guy comes on a first date without a bouquet of flowers (this happens). But this is basically normal. Most often, for men, a first date does not yet evoke associations with romantic encounters. As they say, time is money. That is why, if you force yourself to wait, your partner may perceive it as a sign of disrespect.

The first date becomes a kind of litmus test, with the help of which you can check whether sympathy has arisen and whether it is worth continuing the relationship. If this is exactly the case, you can safely arrange a subsequent meeting.

Why some guys avoid kissing

There are men who don't like to kiss. There are reasons behind every action. What reasons lie behind the attempt to avoid such caresses?

The refusal is due to a ban on showing emotions. The reason lies in the upbringing of the young man by harsh parents. Most likely, he did not see sincerity and love in his family, so as an adult it is difficult for him to show his feelings. The parents did not speak tender words to the guy, did not show affection. Such men are stingy, they do not want to give tenderness. Most often, they think only about themselves, and women become only an object of passion for them.

Some guys perceive kissing as a prelude to sex. If a young man is not ready for intimacy, then he will not kiss.

On what date is it time to kiss?

Each of us is afraid of being rejected, so the question of which date to kiss a girl or a guy arises for almost all young people who are just starting to build a relationship. It is extremely difficult to answer this definitely.

A lot depends on the nature of the dating, the girl’s upbringing, the couple’s worldview and approach to the issue. If the girl herself is very modest, then it is better not to rush, as this can only scare her away. The same can be said if one of the partners adheres to strict, for example, Muslim customs.

The ideal option would be a second or third date. The thing is that after a given amount of time people already get a little used to each other and manage to get carried away. Of course, it is important not to think about the deadline, about what date is today. The main thing is the feelings and impressions that arise. It is very important to feel the pull and understand that it is time to move on to a kiss. For some, a few hours are enough for this; for others, it takes a couple of weeks.

It is also very important to monitor your partner’s reaction. For example, you can lean towards him, simulating the desire to kiss. If your partner puts his face forward, then you can try.

Useful tips

Touching your lips is a way to show affection to your loved one. But is it worth showing such affection in the first couples? What is the best way to kiss and when?

For girls

For representatives of the fairer sex, this event seems very significant, so you need to approach it judiciously.

If a girl is having her first kiss in her life, then don’t try to do it as quickly as possible. Sooner or later the right moment will come anyway. It’s better to wait for the person you would like to press your lips to.

If you are not sure of your decision, do not rush. A guy who likes you can wait until you're ready, which is why you can't kiss on the first date without wanting to.

Women are not recommended to kiss in public, as a man will not be able to get proper pleasure if he displays his feelings. Guys are not always ready to show affection. To understand a man’s desire, you should follow his gaze: if a young man looks at his lips, it means he wants to kiss.

What should a first kiss be like?

Before the first kiss, we need to remember the main thing - the emotions that we experience in the amazing moments of touching our lips can create some problems. The pleasure that these moments bring is so great that it makes you forget about everything in the world. It makes you dizzy, causes trembling and contributes to a complete loss of control over yourself. Under no circumstances should you be afraid of this or tense up during a kiss! According to the rules of the first kiss, such a reaction to it is absolutely normal, and the desire to control it will create a big emotional problem. The problem, in turn, forms a psychological barrier, which will then be very difficult to overcome. In order for fear not to appear later, the first kiss must be given with complete freedom, without fear of anything and without thinking about anything.

At the same time, the rules of the first kiss also include the obligatory condition not to get carried away by your own impressions and not to forget about the feelings of your partner. Touching the lips of her beloved for the first time, a girl should feel not only herself, but also him, and try to let him feel how good she feels. In these moments, you shouldn’t think about how skillfully she kisses - her tension will be transmitted to the guy, and the pleasure of the kiss will be ruined. It is necessary to try to ensure that everything happens reflexively.

Many boys and girls have a fear of the first kiss, which prevents them from completely relaxing. Typically, such fear manifests itself in people who are able to take into account the wishes of others. In order to get rid of the fear of the first kiss, you need to try to create the appropriate environment for the decisive step: turn on romantic music, dim the lights, find a beautiful secluded place somewhere in the park, and so on. In addition, you need to remember that no one kisses perfectly for the first time. And this is even good, since learning how to kiss properly together with your loved one is very interesting and pleasant.

Many people think about how to decide on the first kiss on the first date. Is it worth it? The feeling of the first kiss will never be repeated. This is magic, the moments of which cannot be returned. If your relationship with a guy lasts for a long time, kissing may become less exciting. The very first kiss causes indescribable excitement, which is sometimes very difficult to cope with. All descriptions of the first kiss indicate such excitement, so it should not be considered something out of the ordinary. On the contrary, if we don’t worry before the first kiss, that’s bad. This speaks either of a callous soul, or of a lack of real feeling towards a partner. And on the first date it’s too early to talk about true feelings. And then how to decide on the first kiss if we are not confident in either ourselves or the guy? It will be better if some time passes and we understand how much we need this person. And only then will we determine whether we want to kiss him.

How to behave properly for a girl

In order to create the right impression of herself and not regret her refusal or consent, a girl must think everything over carefully. What does she expect from the young man? What concessions are you willing to make?

Understand themselves

Before going to a young man, a girl should think carefully about everything. If the purpose of the meeting is sex, then there is no point in being shy about kissing a new guy. But when a lady expects continued communication and a serious relationship, you need to be careful and think about some points:

Will he treat her with the same respect and care as before?
Is such a manifestation of warm feelings appropriate?
Will he give something new for the development of relationships?
Does the girl herself want him to kiss her?

Know common mistakes and avoid making them

Nobody wants to appear like a lady with a complex or be known as behind the times. Such behavior can scare a man away. You should also not use kissing to speed up the development of a relationship. Such tactics can lead to the opposite effect. Guys are hunters by nature, so they quickly lose interest in prey that is too easy.

However, delaying until the last minute, if the woman feels that the sympathy is mutual, is also not the best choice. It is important to find a middle ground here.

If you put off a kiss for weeks or months, a man may misunderstand the motives for such behavior and begin to perceive the lady solely as a friend.

Evaluate the situation

Whether or not you can kiss on a first date also depends on who the partner is. If this is a friend, acquaintance or colleague, then if there is mutual sympathy, it makes no sense to refuse. Under such circumstances, a kiss is quite appropriate and natural.

If young people meet for the first time, then everything depends on their impression of each other. It may turn out that the time spent together will not leave much of an impression, and the first meeting will be the last. In such a situation, you can allow a kiss on the cheek. This will not offend the person, but it will not give false hopes for continued communication.

Pay attention to the guy's behavior. If at the first meeting he is too intrusive, always tries to hug or tries to kiss, it is likely that a serious relationship is not included in his plans. In such a situation, a few tips will help:

If such behavior is unacceptable for a woman, she must immediately fight back and set the boundaries of what is permitted.
Try to explain to the young man why the girl is not satisfied with this behavior.
Give a chance to rehabilitate.
Calmly say goodbye and go home. If desired, you can offer friendship.

Decide

If a girl is satisfied with a man’s behavior on a date, he is polite and caring, and mutual attraction is felt, then there is no particular reason to refuse. Very often, the manifestation of warm feelings gives impetus to the development of closer relationships.

While the lady is not sure whether she wants this, or the young man’s intentions are not fully clear, then you can turn your cheek. This will not offend the guy, but on the contrary, it will rather provoke him. After this, he will try to woo the lady.

It is worth paying attention to several nuances when preparing for a date:

The image and demeanor must correspond to each other. Don't try to give the impression of being modest in a short skirt and a low-cut sweater.
Body language will allow you to hint to a man without words whether he is behaving correctly.
Mood and impression of the guy. It depends on this whether the lady wants to repeat the kiss.

What you can do yourself

If philemaphobia (fear of kisses) has not developed very much, then you can cope with it on your own. To do this, a person should take a few simple steps that will help cope with this rather ticklish scourge.

The following steps can help you get rid of philemaphobia:

Self-hypnosis, or auto-training.
Be careful when kissing (especially when wearing braces).
Frank conversation with your partner.
Zero goal method.
Quitting the use of alcoholic beverages and tobacco products.
Visiting the dentist and gastroenterologist.

Following these steps will help mitigate the problem. And, most importantly, you need to find a person whose support will give you more strength to fight your inner fear.

Fighting Fears

First you need to prepare everything correctly

This stage is especially important if you are planning your first kiss. The first kiss should be special, because it is a new stage, a new step in your relationship. And how everything goes may even determine what awaits you next as a couple.

How not to ruin a kiss before it even starts

First of all, you need to make sure that you have fresh breath. Agree that this is an important point. After all, bad breath can not only ruin such an important kiss, but also completely alienate your partner, and he or she will no longer want to date you. Therefore, brush your teeth and tongue well, and always keep chewing gum or breath freshening spray with you.

Make your lips soft and tender, it will definitely be appreciated

Make sure your lips are prepared for close contact in advance. If they are chapped and dry, then the kiss may be ruined. Buy hygienic lipstick or softening lip cream at the pharmacy. You can make your own special scrub, just mix a tablespoon of sugar with half a teaspoon of olive oil. Apply the resulting mixture on your lips in a circular motion and then rinse off. This will make your lips smooth and soft.

Choose the right place

The following advice applies primarily to guys, since it is believed that traditionally they should be the first to take the initiative, although nowadays girls can take on this role. Think about the place and time for the kiss in advance. Make a date in the park if the weather is good, or invite a girl to a cafe, look for a cozy place where no one will disturb you. The first kiss in such an environment is better than kissing a girl in a dirty entrance.

When is the best time to kiss

You can choose the time when you act according to the course of events, or you can also plan in advance. For example, you can kiss immediately upon meeting, so that you are not disturbed by the anxious anticipation, and even after the first kiss, the date will pass on a more romantic and relaxed note. If you don’t want to rush things, then this could be a farewell kiss to leave a lasting impression of the entire date.

Understand your feelings, whether this is the person with whom you want to have your first kiss, because the memory of him will remain with you for the rest of your life.

Ideal time for a kiss

Kissing in front of witnesses is not a good idea, it is too intimate a moment. The right time will be to say goodbye. When she delays breaking up, this may mean that she is waiting for a bold step from the guy. If the lady quickly says goodbye, it means it’s too early for such a manifestation of warm feelings.

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You should kiss a guy on the first date when both partners are ready for it. You just need to trust the calls of your heart and the hints of fate. It happens that it is very difficult to resist, but in order not to rush things, it is better to wait until the moment when the couple gets to know each other better.

Basic fears of kissing and ways to overcome them

Often young people worry that their kiss may be unpleasant for their partner due to saliva, because the main goal is to show their feelings, and not to “wash” their loved one. To avoid this situation, immediately before the kiss you need to swallow the saliva that has accumulated in the mouth and not delay the process too much.

Another common fear is uncertainty about the duration of the kiss. What should it be like? In the Guinness Book of Records you can see that the longest kiss in the world lasted for several days. But your goal is not to break the record, and therefore the most optimal duration of a kiss is about one minute. There is no need to try to hold your breath while kissing. You need to breathe through your nose.

This leads to another complex before the kiss. Young people do not understand what to do with their nose, whether it will get in the way, where to look and whether it is necessary to look at their partner at all during a kiss, where to hold their hands, how to tilt their head... Such moments go away by themselves when a person stops focusing on them. The body itself will tell you how to act correctly, the main thing is to let go of your thoughts and dissolve in your sensations. You yourself will understand how to act so that both you and your lover feel comfortable.

One of the most important complexes and fears before a kiss is the fear of one’s inexperience. But even such a disadvantage can be turned into an advantage. There is no need to directly state that you do not know how and are afraid of it. You can turn the situation around so that it becomes pleasant for your lover. For example, you can say that you have never met a person whom you would like to kiss and open your feelings, but now such a person has appeared and you are glad that the kiss will happen to him and not to someone else.

Sometimes fears and complexes before a kiss are associated with a situation such as the presence of braces in one of the couple or both at once. This situation is by no means a contraindication for kissing. To begin with, you need to understand that wearing braces is not a deformity or a physiological defect, but a necessity. Moreover, you will not need to wear braces for the rest of your life. Every normal person understands this and will not react with disgust to a plate for correcting a bite. An important point before any kiss, and especially if you wear braces, is oral hygiene. This is necessary in order not to bring unnecessary discomfort to either yourself or your partner.

You also need to remember that braces can damage and scratch your lover, so the kiss should not be aggressive or overly passionate. It is better for it to be as gentle, careful and soft as possible. Gradually, you will get used to kissing with braces, you will understand how to do it in such a way as to avoid inconvenience, and they will not interfere with you in the future. As you can see, the complex due to wearing an adjustment plate is caused by the fear that your partner will not accept or understand you. But this fear will fade into the background if there is complete mutual understanding and mutual support between you. There is no need to be afraid of this.

What is philemaphobia

Philemaphobia is the name given to the fear of kissing. It is customary to distinguish between fear of the first kiss and fear of kissing as such. In the first case, it is enough to overcome the barrier once in order not to encounter problems in this area of relationships in the future. If you are afraid of kisses as such, professional psychological treatment is indicated.

The fear of the first kiss is associated with the fear of rejection, fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of disgrace. This type of fear is more typical of men, since they are the ones who are expected to take the first steps. Fear of kisses as such is more often associated with personal psychological traumas and complexes. This type of fear is equally characteristic of both men and women.

This is interesting! Philemaphobes may be in close relationships, but they never resort to “calf tenderness,” especially kissing. In advanced stages, even kissing scenes in movies or kisses from other people in real life frighten the patient.