Male charisma. The secret of male charm and charisma

22 August 2020, 19:58

• Signs of a charismatic man
• Is it possible to develop this quality in yourself?

• Step 1 – develop emotional intelligence
• Step 2 – increase self-esteem and self-confidence
• Step 3 - develop speech
• Step 4 – smile more often
• Step 5 – always keep our word

• Mirror
• Copying speech
• Stop the parasitic words
• Affirmations

Charisma is the individual ability of a person to delight others and arouse their interest. They say about such people that they are the life of the party, with whom there is never a dull moment. Today we will talk about what male charisma is, how it differs from female charisma, and whether it is possible to develop this quality in yourself.

Charisma – what is it?

In the scientific community there are not one or two definitions of this concept, but more than 60! This is why we talk about ambiguity and breadth. The very concept of “charisma” appeared in Ancient Greece and it means “gift”. This is the usual meaning of the word “charismatic.” A man who can be described in this way has magnetism. In Christianity, it was believed that such a person is endowed with great power, he has been given a gift from God, he has a special spark. If we talk about the Russian language, then a synonym for the word “charismatic” is “charming”.

Origin of the term

The word χάρισμα was used in ancient Greek mythology to denote the ability to attract attention to oneself. The ancient Greek goddesses of beauty, grace and elegance were called Charites.

In Christianity it means “gift of God.” In Church Slavonic and Russian translations of New Testament and other texts it is usually conveyed by the word “grace”; in English it is “grace”.

In Catholic theology, it was used in the sense of “an exclusively spiritual property sent by God to someone for the good of the church”[4].

Why is charisma needed?

A charismatic man is, as a rule, a person who is mentally strong, strong-willed, successful, it is easy for him to realize his goals, and he feels great in society. Surely, at least once in her life, every woman has met a representative of the stronger sex who, it would seem, does not stand out in any way - neither in appearance, nor in the style of clothing, but he attracts you, puts you at ease, you want to be close to him, communicate, etc. This is a charismatic man.

At all times there have been lucky and successful individuals for whom everything comes easy. They freely and easily lead both three people and thousands, they win them over, they listen to them and want to obey them. These include bosses, directors of all levels, and actors. Although there are many examples when a man does not lead either a country or a team, and is not a cool boss, the aura around him is simply magical. Women feel confident, warm and comfortable next to such representatives of the stronger sex. This is what a charismatic man is. Now it becomes clear why this trait is needed and why many people want to be just such individuals.

Superpower for the lazy: how to develop charisma

Scientists who deny the concept of tabula rasa admit: religious views on the nature of charisma are partly correct, but only partly. They admit that this ability may be innate, but at the same time they are inclined to the idea that it can be developed in oneself at any age. Special charm can also be classified as an interpersonal type of talent, which is attributed to show business stars, political leaders, persuasive speakers, and even successful salesmen. But for clarity, let’s compare it with the ability to draw:

• There are people who, from an early age, confidently hold a pencil and can easily redraw images, transfer scenes from the real world to paper, or display their fantasies. It is believed that this is an innate gift.
• There are people for whom mastering artistic skill is achieved only as a result of hard work, diligent study of theory, regular training and, of course, determination. Why do they achieve high results - hard work, strength of character, stubbornness, or do they also have artistic talent, but it is “difficult to climb”?

About the same picture with charisma. For some, it manifests itself even at school age: such a child gets away with a lot, he shows adventurism, leadership qualities and becomes the life of the party thanks to charm, artistry, humor and the ability to express empathy. Sometimes an adult gets angry with him and is ready to pull his ears as soon as the prankster catches his eye... and in a personal meeting, a flurry of indignation is replaced by a sincere smile, since this petty charismatic can look at him this way, answer this way, turn the situation around in such a way that it becomes impossible to be angry with him. And for a long time he himself does not realize how he manipulates those around him.

As a rule, this “company soul” does not disappear anywhere in the process of growing up; it may intensify or subside a little, but does not disappear. Although it happens that severe psychological trauma still breaks the back of charisma...

What if this skill did not manifest itself on its own since childhood? But you want (or need to because of your profession) to be not just the center of attention, but someone who is listened to, trusted, followed, helped and supported. One who, in a few seconds, takes even a large audience into his fist and holds tightly throughout his speech. How to pump up charisma? Psychology provides instructions for such a request! For example, Professor John Antonakis from a Swiss university, after a long and intensive study of the influence of charisma, concluded that charismatic behavior can be trained and published several dozen of its manifestations, some of which are given below. But keep in mind that they will be too tough for lazy people, hacks and inveterate procrastinators.

50 shades of charisma

It's time to peel and devour this coveted pie. So, first study its components and divide them into 3 types: 1) which you have and need to be strengthened a little - you can do this yourself; 2) which are not there, but would like to be found - here you need the help of a pro; 3) which are not there and they seem completely alien - put them on the shelf until the desire to upgrade them arises. The third point hints at an important principle: it is better not to have alien qualities at all than to force them out of oneself. Otherwise, side effects may occur: “overacting” or excessive tension, you will look unnatural and stupid.

What does charismatic behavior consist of:

• Comprehensive development! We could stop at this point, since the more multifaceted the personality, the greater the interest in it. In addition, this is the main source of fuel for all subsequent points. Without knowledge and skills it is difficult to feel confident, without reading books there is nothing to build figurative speech from, without physical development there will be no quick “thinking”, without creative self-expression it is not easy to understand calmness, without knowing yourself and others you will not develop a sense of proportion.
• Self-confidence is an elusive beast, and many coaches assure that without this level you cannot go further. However, this quality does not have two “on/off” positions; it is rather like a “slider” on the volume bar - it can occupy different positions. Charismatic people do not have 100% confidence; their talent lies in the ability to use its “slider” depending on the place, circumstances and environment. To be able to show both a strong fist and timidity in the right situation, and to insist on one’s opinion and to defend someone else’s.
• Ability to speak. A burr or lisp is not a hindrance, but slurring can become a barrier. In order to captivate one interlocutor or an entire audience with your “chatter,” it is important that you be understood! This time. The second thing that research indicates is that the layer cake of charisma is generously flavored with the cream of figurative speech. Metaphors, comparisons, quotes, anecdotes and examples from life - they, like sweet syrup, attract and do not let go. And so that it doesn’t become cloying, play with intonation, timbre, speed and volume of your voice, pauses, questions... and don’t forget that the ability to speak is nothing without the ability to listen and hear.
• “Live” eyes, “talkative” gestures, expressive facial expressions are an integral addition to catchy speech. Don’t be shy about appearing ugly or clumsy; if it comes from the heart, it will only add charm. But remember, body language is treacherous - without permission it will betray tension, doubts, lies, indifference. To prevent this from happening, you need to either be a good actor, or simply not deceive, be real. What if in life you feel like a squeezed lemon or a nerd muttering under your breath, but for some reason you decided to pump up your charisma? Show creativity and turn your shortcoming into a highlight or a direct path to a psychologist - improve your quality of life!
• Sense of humor. Even for him you need to pump up your intelligence and intelligence! It is not enough to memorize a few jokes (and in general you can do without them); it is much more important to quickly react to a dialogue or situation and comment appropriately. Say this and that in such a way as to make it funny, but not to offend or offend. And, of course, don’t forget about self-irony.
• A sense of tact, empathy, sincere attention to another person. If humor is not your thing, pay attention to the ingredients of this item, perhaps they are closer to you. Charisma differs from “stardom” in that there is almost no place for egoism. This is the very layer that coach and author of the book “Charisma Myths” Olivia Fox Cabane calls “warmth”. Without it, the other two main qualities of charisma - “presence” (presence) and “strength” (power) - will not carry weight.
• Generosity and help. Do not confuse this with the urge to waste money or give away your last shirt. Charismatics do not buy recognition with material goods, but only supplement/reinforce their words, feelings, and actions with them.
• Radiating positivity and optimism. A moderate positive attitude attracts people more than sour, angry expressions. You don’t have to put on an American smile with all your might, you don’t have to be happy and joke all the time. A positive attitude can be read in intonations, words, reactions, actions and decisions.
• Energetic + relaxed + calm. The idea is precisely the sensitive combination of these three qualities. A charismatic person is full of energy, which is why people are drawn to him. But this energy should not splash out like water from an aquarium during an earthquake! It is relaxation and calmness that allows you to accumulate energy and not waste it in vain.

Please note that we do not mention appearance. Coco Chanel had the most powerful charisma, but it was she who decorated the clothes, and not the clothes that helped her to be like that. The crutch of beauty does not last forever! Plump lips, a deep neckline, biceps the size of a 3-liter jar, a stylish beard and other “peacock tails” can help in attracting the opposite sex, but they are weak helpers in becoming the life of the party, a leader who is loved, or even a scammer who, with the help of manipulates numerous victims with his charm.

Max Weber about a charismatic person

Now let's look at who a charismatic man is from a psychological point of view. The German political scientist and social psychologist Weber was the first to describe this concept from a scientific position. He believed that charisma is a unique personality quality. It helps one to look compared to others as an exceptional, extraordinary person, who is endowed with a special power that is inaccessible to the majority.

According to Weber's theory, such a man (less often a woman) is able to influence huge masses of people, “charge” them with a certain energy. Today, this personality quality is a necessary tool for a successful manager, a leader who wants to influence the consciousness of the group and subjugate people. In order to know how to become a charismatic man, you need to determine what characteristics he should have. We'll talk about this further.

Notes

1. In the 1956 edition of the Dictionary of Foreign Words, the stress is indicated on the first syllable. In modern dictionaries, the stress is either on the second syllable, or two stresses are indicated. The established pronunciation is with emphasis on the second syllable [www.rg.ru/2006/08/11/korolev.html].
2. [slovari.yandex.ru/~books/Explanatory%20dictionary%20foreign%20words/Charisma/](inaccessible link since 06/14/2016 (1577 days))
3. [enc-dic.com/fwords/Harizma-39558.html Charisma – Dictionary of foreign words – Encyclopedias & Dictionaries]
4. [www.rg.ru/2006/08/11/koroleva.html “Khokhma” gave birth to “wisdom” - Marina Koroleva - Rossiyskaya Gazeta]
5. [religion.babr.ru/dict/c/charisma.htm History of religion]
6. [slovari.yandex.ru/~books/Reformation%20and%20Protestantism/Charismatics/Charismatics](inaccessible link from 06/14/2016 (1577 days))
7. Olivia Fox Cabane, 2013, p. eleven.

Qualities of a charismatic man

1. Individual and unique image. Such a person has his own external image, special facial expressions, gestures, gait, timbre of voice, intonation.
2. Complete self-confidence. This is a fairly multifaceted quality, but its main components are courage, determination, clarity in decision-making; complete independence, that is, the developed habit of relying only on one’s own strengths and not relying on others; the ability to confidently and specifically make others understand your position.
3. Empathy and self-control. This is the ability to regulate, control your emotions and feelings. This is tactfulness, flexibility, the ability not only to listen, but also to hear, the ability to understand other people at the level of intuition, to “feel” them.
4. Gallantry, politeness, absence of brutal behavior or harsh gestures.

Charismatic woman in society

Charisma primarily implies charm, the owner of which attracts everyone's attention, is easy-going, and can find a common language with anyone. It is a woman who is able to rivet eyes on her every movement, forcing you to follow her every word, and admire her persistent character, that is called charismatic.

Charisma is a character quality that attracts truly smart and strong men, because they are the ones who need a strong and charming woman. Many people believe that having charisma is a natural gift, and not everyone has it. Indeed, not every woman has charisma, but if you want, with a little work on yourself, this quality can be developed. It will help not only arrange your personal life, but also achieve success in your career.

Charismatic people are not born, they are made that way.

If the above qualities are not inherent to you, then it is never too late to start working on yourself. No one is born great or famous right away, but a person’s resources allow him to achieve a lot in life, the main thing is to want it. For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He wasn’t born with 57 cm biceps! Everything we see today is the result of working on ourselves and exhausting training. Yes, this is physical strength. But along with it, mental flexibility and thinking develop. You can train everything, including charisma.

Remember also Winston Churchill. As a child, he had very poor health and studied poorly, so his parents decided to send their son to an army class. And what happened in the end? He graduated from this class as one of 12 students, began self-education, and became a great speaker, writer, journalist, influential political figure, winner of many awards, and prime minister. This suggests that anyone can become charismatic. How to work on yourself? What do we have to do? How to become a charismatic man? Let's consider several methods.

Female charisma and male charisma: differences

• Of course there is. And it is due to our traditional ideas about the purpose of women and men.
• Male charisma is determined by our ideas about the inherent strength of a man, the instincts of a conqueror and hunter, and a straightforward leader. Recently, the formula of charisma for men includes the concepts of not only strength, but presence and warmth.
• Presence is understood as maximum concentration on one’s counterpart, and strength is understood as internal responsibility and the ability to make a decision. As for warmth, it refers to the ability to participate and support. It is in this complex that the above components add up to the concept of male charisma.

Difference by gender

• Women's charisma is characterized by qualities that are to some extent opposed to each other. So, self-confident and at the same time soft and feminine, with a firm, but at the same time light character, restrained, but femininely emotional at the right moments - this is a charismatic woman . She is charming and extraordinary, with inherent inner strength and harmony.

"The image of a charismatic personality"

Create a relaxing environment for yourself without being disturbed by people or sounds. Close your eyes, concentrate and clearly imagine the image of a person who will cause you admiration. This is not a real person, but just your fantasy. Imagine clearly his appearance, ability to carry himself, conduct a conversation, style of clothing. Think through as many characteristics as possible. Next, endow this image with the necessary qualities, imagine them in action. Do not rush to finish the exercise; everything should be recorded in your mind as clearly and specifically as possible. Now try to translate everything into real life.

What is charisma?

It turns out that throughout life, in the process of educating an individual and at the moment of socialization, charisma can appear or fade away. In simple terms, nurturing this special character trait requires a certain social environment. Proven. that a person’s environment supports his leadership qualities and creates the power of his influence on minds. This special feature is manifested in the following:

• a clear understanding of personal goals and values;
• bold expression of desires and the opportunity to express them;
• the ability to influence not only small groups, but also the masses;
• an incredible charge of energy that cannot be ignored;
• the ability to manage your ability to influence someone;
• unconscious or conscious use of oratory.