Woman manipulator: how to recognize female manipulation

Freedom is always valuable in a relationship. It is very bad when one of the partners does not respect the personal boundaries of the other. A common stereotype is that women are more prone to manipulation, but this is not always the case. Men can also cunningly impose their will, which does not contribute to happiness in the relationship. To be fair, many wives only contribute to this behavior of their husband. Being dependent is psychologically easier because you don’t have to make a choice and bear responsibility for it. Who is a manipulator in a relationship, what are his signs, and what is the secret of effective communication with him?

A man manipulates people

Signs of a manipulator

The set of signs of a manipulative husband and the advice of a psychologist are individual in each case, but we can give some general techniques that such spouses most often resort to.

A man pulls the strings

And learning the methods helps you figure out how to understand that a man is manipulating you:

“Closer-further” technique. A manipulator deliberately alienates a woman who is dependent on him from you in order to bring you closer for some actions on her part. Often this technique is used simply to increase the other person's dependence on oneself. Often subconsciously used by women in order to keep a man as a backup option. This is what lies at the heart of the friend zone. Although it is popular with the opposite sex, men can also use it and has no gender connotation.
Humiliation. At first glance, this is not manipulation, but there is always a hidden benefit from this kind of action. A manipulative husband may humiliate a woman in order to assert himself. This is his ulterior motive.
Comparison with others. It is not always manipulation, because it is often immediately clear what a man wants from a woman. Manipulation can only be considered if the target does not lie on the surface.
Blackmail. Rough, primitive, but still manipulation. The formula is simple: if you don’t do something, I’ll hurt you. Blackmail in a relationship is absolutely unacceptable, as it destroys trust in the bud. As soon as signs of blackmail appear in a relationship, the woman must make it clear to her husband that everything must be negotiated openly and without threats. If it doesn't work out, divorce. This kind of counter-blackmail is for the benefit of the family. If the husband does not agree to these conditions, there is simply no point in the further existence of the family. The basis of any successful marriage is the ability to negotiate. Threats have nothing to do with diplomacy, only with war. Living under the same roof next to the enemy is unacceptable. This should not be a direct threat of divorce, but rather a warning of what blackmail can lead to.
Game "persuade me." A man refuses even something good to be persuaded. The goal is self-affirmation, the desire to feel significant.

It is not always necessary to get a divorce or try to teach your husband a lesson when these signs appear. Sometimes mini-manipulations are part of the game and do not harm the relationship.

Two-faced man

Important! Some of these male manipulations are simply a consequence of unmet needs within the family.
A man simply does not know how to satisfy them with other methods. If the basis of unproductive behavior is the desire to assert oneself, some effort must be made to increase the husband’s self-esteem if he wants to maintain the relationship.

Signs that identify a manipulator

Based on certain behavior, one can understand that the opponent does not at all strive for a joint future. A manipulator in a relationship does not want to share warmth and make his chosen one happy. He doesn't need all this. He is happy with his current situation and does not want to change anything. Such people are not capable of deep feelings due to their highly developed selfishness. They pursue completely different goals that have nothing to do with bringing benefit to anyone. You can recognize a male manipulator by the following signs - the manifestations themselves are striking and look very noticeable:

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The man doesn't ask how his day was. Even if partners don’t see each other for a long time, this factor does not make the heart beat faster. Often a young man has a specific goal for which he agrees to meet.
Not interested in the inner world of the chosen one. Appeal to feelings is direct evidence of love. But if a person does not pay attention to you at all, constantly makes jokes and makes excuses with many things, then he does not love. Some guys like to make girls fall in love with them. At the same time, they are not in the mood for a serious relationship and do not want to develop it.
He strives to achieve his goals. The guy prefers to ignore his partner's feelings. Such a man knows all the ways to turn the situation in his favor. At some point, he becomes uninterested and disappears from the girl’s life forever. As a result, the chosen one suffers and diligently looks for flaws in herself.

Why do husbands manipulate women?

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There can be many reasons. Manipulation is carried out, as a rule, when what you want cannot be obtained directly. This option is much simpler, but if it is not customary in the family to listen to each other, you have to defend your interests with all possible methods.

Another reason for manipulation is developmental features in childhood. If a boy could only get what he wanted through roundabout ways, he begins to believe that this is the only way to achieve his goals.

Stereotypes and prejudices can also become reasons for manipulation in relationships with women. If a man previously had to deal only with cunning people, he may feel that all women need to be deceived in order to get what he wants.

Manipulator man with flowers is planning something

Stereotypes and prejudices are always formed on the basis of unpleasant experiences or incorrect upbringing. The wrong attitude is formed if a man had to communicate with a small number of women. To destroy the stereotype, you need to see at least a dozen representatives of the opposite sex who do not fall into the established pattern. This happens quite rarely, so stereotypes are usually tenacious. As a consequence, so are the behavioral patterns generated by them.

Signs of hidden intentional manipulation

Intentional manipulation is more difficult to recognize, because the person understands what he is doing and is trying to confuse you. Here are just a few basic models of manipulative behavior:

Emotional yo-yo. Its main symptom is inconsistency. The guy either showers you with affection and attention, then disappears, behaves distantly or rudely. What looks to you like power surges that he finds difficult to control within himself is actually a method of manipulation. This is how your partner develops your dependence on him.
Gaslighting. We have already talked about how you can be convinced of lies and made to doubt your own adequacy. The guy does this in order to develop insecurity in you. You yourself don’t understand how this happens: at the beginning of the conversation you catch your partner in an outright lie, and at the end for some reason you apologize. This is one of the most dangerous types of manipulation, but it can also be resisted, and we talked about how to do this.
Resistance. Silence or ignoring is also the type of manipulation that I hate the most. The guy just stops talking without explaining the reasons. At first you think he's having a bad day. By the end of the week, you begin to delve into yourself, remembering everything you said or did before the start of this wordless terrorist act. Like this: without scandals, accusations or any effort, a man made you feel guilty. There can be no objective reasons for such behavior. Does he really believe that the magical power of his silence will unlock psychic abilities in you? There is only one way to make it clear that you have a problem - open your mouth and say it. All other attempts to hint are nothing more than manipulation. And the most painful thing about the ignore manipulation is that the guy makes you feel like you don’t matter.

What to do in a relationship with such a husband

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Manipulation in a relationship is not always bad, and you should immediately divorce your cunning husband. Divorce is a drastic measure, which in most cases is unwise. Male manipulation in relationships with women is commonplace. It is much more important to be able to quickly determine the desire behind the manipulation and understand for yourself whether you want to satisfy it. Even if there is no desire, but this can contribute to the development of relationships, sometimes it is worth giving in to manipulation. It is necessary to pay attention to the benefits for the family.

How not to succumb to a man’s manipulation if this is inappropriate? If a wife learns to recognize the motives behind manipulation, she will be able to control the situation and make the right decision.

Manipulation-resistant girl

You need to develop your self-esteem. It is important to correlate your husband’s actions with your goals and desires. A person who goes with the flow is much easier to manage. It is enough to simply direct the river in the desired direction, and the one at whom the manipulation is directed will float there himself. If you don’t have your own goals, you’ll have to follow someone else’s.

It is important to avoid extremes here. For a relationship to develop, you need to align your goals with the desires of the other person and try to move in the same direction.

The last resort is divorce, but it’s better not to go that far. Moreover, you cannot threaten a man with divorce.

Important! Divorce is the easiest way, but it is a very rough method. There is no guarantee that these mistakes will not be repeated in the next relationship. If you don’t draw conclusions, all past problems in the family return.

Options for influencing the victim

To attract a girl’s attention, a man follows a proven pattern. He prefers to be guided by his own views, which are difficult to understand. Usually the main task is to charm the chosen one and win her over in every possible way. After this, the only thing left to do is to instill in her your goals and values, accuse her in every possible way, but do it extremely skillfully.

Persuasion

A common male method that allows you to achieve everything you need to achieve at a certain moment. To begin with, the guy begins to act gently, trying to persuade, offer something, advise. When a woman gets used to such pressure, other, more aggressive methods are used.

Guilt

A husband may tell his wife that she is ugly and unattractive. Sometimes he tends to give unnecessary advice and intelligently calculates his every word. Guilt can destroy you from within: it does not allow you to change, but only points to existing shortcomings. Its signs can be read in a reproachful look, intonation, and voice.

Friendship and constant “debts”

A manipulative friend strives to give out “valuable” recommendations. This happens as often as it suits the guy himself. In communication, he constantly emphasizes that it was impossible to cope without him. As a result, the girl feels indebted and even obliged to her “benefactor.”

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How and when to leave a relationship

It’s easy to leave a relationship – just tell your boyfriend or husband about it. Everyone has the right to do this, but not every situation needs to be done. Some signs to look out for:

A man only respects his own opinion.
The girl only respects her own opinion. It makes no difference what gender a person is. In a relationship, everyone should respect each other's opinions.
Both sides do not see any prospects in such relations.
The man uses physical violence. As soon as verbal rudeness turns into physical rudeness, you need to get a divorce or break off the relationship immediately.
The man abuses alcohol. Often this is a means of manipulation. The husband threatens to go on a drinking binge if his wife does not do this.

Important! Each case is individual. Many young couples seem hopeless, but over time the relationship strengthens.

Types of female manipulation

The vast majority of women manipulate men completely unconsciously. Their manipulations are already embedded in a model of behavior to which women do not attach any special importance, considering it quite normal in a relationship.

But there are psychological manipulations that harm relationships, destroying them. So that we don’t repeat ourselves, read on Wikipedia how manipulators control their victims. (This description applies to both women and men.)

Manipulation of tears, hysteria

This is the first and most popular trick for women. Absolutely all men will encounter it in their lives, and some will live with it constantly. The purpose of this manipulative technique is to evoke feelings of pity and guilt in the stronger sex. A woman experiences the effectiveness of this technique in childhood, as a little girl. When, with tears in front of a loving dad, I achieved the desired sweets or toys.

A professional woman manipulator knows that a loving man will not be able to tolerate her tears for long. Because the vast majority of men experience discomfort at the sight of a crying girl. At the DNA level, they have a need to protect and help her.

When a woman's requests or desires are ignored by a man, the woman uses this trick to force her partner to make concessions to her. Then he will make it clear what is required of him to make amends. God save men from such manipulations!

How to deal with a manipulative woman and her manipulation with tears

There is no need to indulge her if you are absolutely sure that your decision is correct and you are not guilty of anything. Remember: most of the tears of a manipulative woman are not real. These are crocodile tears for chewing a man's will.

To avoid having to endure the sight of women's tears or hysterics, go and walk for a while. This way each of you can calm down. You can say, for example, the following: “If you really want to cry, making me the culprit of your tears, then cry, and I’ll go for a walk in the fresh air.”

This will show that you saw through her trick. And whenever something like this happens, you do the same. Over time, your chosen one will understand that this manipulation is no longer effective, so you should abandon it.

Deep down you know it is true! Well, further reading will be even more interesting.

Sex manipulation

This is one of the surest means that a woman manipulator uses in a relationship against the stronger half of humanity. You can lose count if you start counting the number of great people who lost everything they had just because of this trick.

Surely many have met men who spent 95% of their salary for one day with a lady who skillfully and deftly manipulated him. Buying her expensive trinkets that cost more than their salary. And all this for the only reward - sex with her.

Some married women use this manipulation as a kind of instrument of pressure on their husband. When she can reward her husband for something with sex or, on the contrary, punish him by his absence. Such husbands have to please their wives in every possible way just to “earn/earn” the right to intimate intimacy, and not to receive it by right . Isn't that right? It is unlikely that anyone will deny this.

How does this manipulation happen?

As a rule, it all starts with small requests: to take you somewhere, buy some small things, fulfill a small whim. Every time there are more and more such requests. As soon as a man denies his chosen one something, she blocks his access to her body. But as soon as he admits his guilt, repents and begins to fulfill his whims, this access will open to him again.

Over time, men develop a conditioned reflex - if you behave well, then you get a “super prize”, but if not, that’s your problem. Sounds familiar?

How to resist a manipulative woman and manipulation of sex

Through open, direct conversation. Seriously explain to your companion that female manipulation of sex most often becomes the cause of male infidelity. Therefore, she should think in advance about who might be the culprit.

Secondly, if you notice that a woman is using sex as a lever, wanting to force you to go against your own will, refuse intimacy yourself. Motivating this by the fact that you don’t buy love .

Before moving on to the next point, we want to say that in this case you need to be prepared for two scenarios:

She will realize the stupidity of her action and will never try to manipulate you with sex again.
The woman may break off the relationship with you and leave.

Jealousy Manipulation

As a rule, at first a girl with good intentions begins to wonder where her boyfriend is, she gets worried and worried. But over time, such concern develops into jealousy. The girl tries to tame the guy to the fact that he must always report on his every step if he does not want to see hysterics of jealousy. He is obliged to inform her about where and with whom he is.

How to communicate with a manipulative woman and resist her jealousy

Let's consider two options:

Calmly but firmly let your chosen one understand the principle of primacy in the house . The essence of which comes down to the fact that it is not the man who is accountable to the woman, but vice versa. Therefore, you are not going to report for every step you take, and you also won’t hang on the phone for half an hour, talking about anything. A reasonable girl, after such “therapy” several times, will stop spying on you and apologize for her behavior.
If the option is running and your chosen one continues to baselessly “surveill”, then tire her out with your calls. For example, call every five minutes for any reason you can think of. A few days of such “treatment” will discourage the girl from manipulating you in a relationship. (By the way, 8 tips on how to stop being jealous of your man will be useful reading for jealous ladies).

Manipulation through shame

“Have you decided to start your own business? Yes, you are a loser in life, it’s better to sit at your job and don’t rock the boat so that you don’t get fired.” Or “he found something to be happy about, you see, the director praised him for his quality work. Now, if he made you the head of the department, then yes.”

With this manipulative technique, some ladies try to destroy their partner’s self-esteem and lower his self-esteem. Thus, completely strangling any pride a man may have in his achievements, developed qualities or successes. Gradually, the woman forms in him the image of a “klutz.”

How not to fall for female manipulation and maintain self-esteem

If your relationship is at the stage of cohabitation or courtship, then it is better for you to leave. It is unlikely that you will be able to teach her conflict-free communication. It would be a thankless task with her.
The advice for married men is this: do not tell your life partner about your plans or achievements. Try to keep communication on such topics to a minimum.

Manipulation of women's reproaches

The essence of this technique is to ask an accusing question instead of a polite request. For example, a woman does not make a request: “Darling, please go get some bread,” but asks a shameful and accusing question: “Why couldn’t I stop by on the way home and buy bread, do I really have to remind you of this all the time, you yourself can’t guess about it?

As you understand, the woman in this case does not expect an answer to her accusing question. Her goal is to evoke a feeling of shame, then guilt, and then responsibility for the supposed emotional suffering that she had to endure from the actions or inactions of her life partner.

A man, faced with such manipulation, will always feel unjustifiably ashamed. A woman, shifting the feeling of guilt and shame onto the shoulders of her life partner, drop by drop eats away the favorable background in the relationship.

This manipulation also includes the following phrases: “You never listen to me. You always do what you want." With the words “never and always” in the format of a reproach, the life partner nullifies all the past merits of her man. For many, this is a fairly familiar situation and we are sure that you know how this usually happens.

I wonder if there are any men who have not gone through such manipulation at least once in their lives?

How to resist female manipulation and reproaches

Remember: a person cannot be responsible for the emotions or mood of another person. Therefore, calmly try to explain to your lady that you do not accept reproaches, but you listen more willingly to polite requests. And if she needs something, then let her ask politely or remind her about it. Especially if she doesn’t want to turn you into a gendarme, constantly reproaching and blaming her.

If a girl allows herself to talk to a guy in this tone, then the only logical answer may be the following. Without anger, but firmly say: “Who taught you to treat guys so rudely? If I were your teacher, I would probably have to spank you! The best part is that it actually works!

When to ignore and not give in

In what cases should you not succumb to manipulation:

When a man’s desires sharply diverge from a woman’s values.
When there is a gross invasion of the personal space of a wife or girlfriend.
When a man goes too far in manipulation.

When to ignore manipulation or give in:

When it is in the interests of the family, even when the interests of any of its members are violated.
When a girl wants to confront a man because of wounded pride, and not because of objective necessity.
When the desire to resist arises due to the girl’s infantilism.

How to communicate

A woman can play along with her manipulator if she has a strong enough character

Let's look at how to resist a manipulator and not submit to his will. Let's figure out how you can coexist with such a person.

When giving in to manipulation, you need to do it consciously. It is important that the man feels that you are in control of the situation.
Every word and action of your man needs to be weighed and considered. It is important to show your boyfriend that you yourself planned to do this. We need to be proactive.
If a man tries to make you angry, tell him directly that he wants to see you angry.
Don't hide the fact that you are aware of his manipulations.
Watch your boyfriend. Make sure his words match his gestures.
Be able to promptly identify the difference between care and total control, sincere feelings from false flattery.
Learn to analyze your weaknesses and strengths. Knowing about them, it will be easier for you to communicate with the manipulator, because it can put pressure on shortcomings. If a man points out your weaknesses, remain confident. Calmly answer that you know about your shortcomings, that they are part of your personality.
Increase your self-esteem, love yourself. A girl should realize that she is not obliged to fulfill other people's wishes. Spend your free time doing what you love.
You can openly talk about manipulation and, together with your partner, try to find out the reason for this behavior.
It is important to be able to say the word “no” and not follow his desires. First of all, you need to think about yourself, no matter how strong your feelings for a person of the opposite sex.
If you feel strong psychological pressure from a man, take a break from the relationship. This time is necessary to come to your senses and sort out your feelings.
Behave unpredictably. This will prevent the young man from keeping everything under control.
Control yourself, don’t allow yourself to cry when a man is waiting for it. Stay calm, don't be indifferent.
If you are thinking about how to outplay your man, speak to him using his own phrases. If he tries to put pressure on you, threatening to break up, feel free to answer that he wants you to break up. If you see an attempt at manipulation, cut off your interlocutor mid-sentence. It is important to pull the blanket over yourself in time. You can say that the conversation is over or the topic is already closed.
A man will try to subjugate you to his will, so it is important not to lose touch with reality and continue to communicate with other people and friends. Don't let your partner stop you from these meetings.
Stand up for your opinion, do not allow personal boundaries to be violated. This will not allow the manipulator to subjugate you to his will and use you for selfish purposes.
If a man completely controls you, you are no longer able to resist him, seek help from a psychologist. He will help you get out of the hole into which you were driven, he will teach you how to live on.
If you feel discomfort, you feel uncomfortable being around such a man, your self-esteem drops below zero, then it’s time to think that such a relationship is not for you. Remember that you have the right to be happy and loved.

Now you know how male manipulators behave and who they are. It is important to realize that not every woman can save her face next to such a man; she often becomes a victim. If you are a strong personality and can openly resist manipulation from your partner, fight for your relationship. If you see that you are not capable of a happy future next to such a person, run away from him. Remember that you need to love yourself and not allow someone to rule your life or make you a toy in their hands.

Which women are susceptible to manipulation?

Without conscious goals, desires and aspirations.
Infantile individuals who want to shift responsibility for their lives to someone else. Such girls often pretend to be a victim, even when this is not the case.
Girls who are lazy to develop critical thinking.
Women who have insufficiently developed willpower. Even if they understand that they are being manipulated, they will not have the courage to resist the tricks on the part of the man. They will not do anything to get rid of manipulation or deal with their shortcomings. Even after repeated attempts to resist negative influences, they will be vulnerable to them.
Girls raised in a patriarchal society. They tend to obey their husband or boyfriend by default. No matter how much a womanizer a man is, no matter how long he disappears, no matter how strong a tyrant and selfish he is, such girls will remain silent and not try to defeat him or leave.

Briefly about manipulations

Female manipulation is a method of influencing men, with the help of which ladies achieve their goal, using the experimental subject as a way to achieve it.

Why not just ask a man? Well, firstly, it’s not interesting, and secondly, not all women do this consciously - many representatives of the fair sex have the ability to manipulate in their blood. And, thirdly, not all men readily run to fulfill women’s whims at the first wave of a finger.

What characterizes manipulation on the part of a woman:

Vague expression of thoughts. “It would be nice if we went to the shopping center. And then I feel so sad. Maybe my mood will improve if I try on a couple of dresses.” Any girl will see in this monologue a request for the purchase of new clothes, and the man will be confused, will not immediately grasp the essence and will decide that his betrothed just wanted to clear her head. As a result, they will leave the store with a heap of packages, because the unsuspecting gentleman will not even have time to realize that unexpected expenses await him.
Using emotionally charged arguments. “Dear, can’t you see how tanned my friend Sveta is! She was at sea for two whole weeks, and you and I only went to the dacha a couple of times over the summer. I’m stressed, I urgently need to heal my nerves at the seaside!” The man immediately feels guilty before his sweetheart and rushes to the travel agency to get a ticket, although they seemed to have agreed not to travel anywhere this year and save for a new car.
The desire to shift responsibility. “So what if you couldn’t reach me for 10 hours! You know that my phone runs out quickly because it’s already old! When did you buy it for me? Half a year ago? Yes, it’s high time to scrap it or give it to those in need! Why didn’t you warn me that she was going out with her friend? Well, I forgot, who doesn’t it happen to? And it’s your fault because you don’t buy me a new iPhone! His battery wouldn’t run out!” Whatever happens, the manipulative girl is not to blame. In addition, she will find a way to get the maximum benefit from any controversial situation.

Already feel deceived? Indignation rises to the depths of your soul, because you sincerely believed your soulmate and ran to fulfill her whims? It doesn’t matter, we will teach you how to deal with such tricks. By the way, not only the other half, but also a mother, and even a friend can be a woman manipulator. Do you want to know which of your weaknesses are most often exploited by these insidious people? Then read the next paragraph.

Advice from psychologists

There is no need to be afraid of manipulation. If a girl can understand the motives behind her husband’s words and actions, she automatically receives immunity. No matter how psychopathic or manipulative a man is, it is necessary to keep a cool head and make wise decisions.
It is not recommended to respond to manipulation with manipulation. This clearly does not contribute to the development of trusting relationships - this is the main vector towards which all the efforts of family members should be directed.
It is impossible to change another person, you can only change yourself. Therefore, it is highly recommended to adapt your behavior by not allowing someone to invade someone else's personal space. You need to properly build a defense without attacking. You should not try to punish your husband for manipulation, or resort to various tricks to change his behavior. All people are adults. If the relationship is not satisfactory, you need to break up or replay it by mutual consent. You can take a break, then come back after a week or two and change your behavior pattern with a fresh mind.
Manipulation cannot be completely ignored. If you do not pay attention to them for a long time, a man will simply rebel due to unfulfilled needs. You can let him manipulate in a situation that is safe for the girl.
Breaking off the relationship is also one of the options for solving the problem. Sometimes so many mistakes have already been made with a man (or lover) that parting is a matter of time. It is better not to delay this process and try to make another man fall in love with you, with whom these mistakes will not be made.

As unpleasant as it may be, manipulation in relationships is commonplace. There is no need to make a tragedy out of this. You just have to learn to react to manipulation in the right way so that everyone can be at peace with each other.

It is advisable to do everything possible to maintain an ongoing relationship with one person. This idea is used not only in religion, but official psychology also says so. This is the only way to recognize all the strengths and weaknesses of each other and learn to interact in a relationship. The main idea of this article is that you need to learn to adapt to manipulation so as not to lose yourself.

Signs that a man has fallen for the bait

In relationships, female manipulation by a man is a way of influencing a partner through the use of special psychological techniques for the purpose of obtaining personal gain.

In order to recognize a woman who is a manipulator in time, you need to carefully monitor the behavior of your other half. If desired, any guy is able to determine that in a relationship his woman is a manipulator . The signs are quite clearly readable, but don’t be afraid to see them.

Love turns into fear of loss.
The mood is adjusted to the mood of the chosen one.
There is a constant feeling of guilt.
Self-esteem decreases.
You begin to control your own words, emotions and actions too carefully.
There is a constant abandonment of personal desires in favor of the other half.