What is determination and how to cultivate it in yourself?

Do you need to develop a sense of purpose?

Unfortunately, most people live without a goal. They go to work, relax after work in front of the TV, have a fun or not so much weekend. Sometimes they get sick, sad, have some desires and dreams. Some of them are carried out or come true by chance, but most of them are not. And then to the question “Dreams, dreams, where is your sweetness?” (from A. S. Pushkin’s poem The Awakening) the answer comes to mind: “The dreams are gone, the disgusting remains!” or “Winter has come, old age has appeared.” And the word “dream” is often used together with the words “fruitless”, “empty”, “impossible”, “reckless”.

In congratulations to friends and relatives, we wish them fulfillment of desires and “dreams come true,” but we should wish them to achieve personal goals. A person who lives aimlessly can be compared to a ship that has lost control. No one knows how the journey will end, with salvation or death, whether the weather will be calm or the ship will be caught in a storm that will break it against the rocks, or run aground. The Roman philosopher Seneca compared people who live aimlessly to a blade of grass floating along a river to wherever the waves take it.

Having goals in life means giving it direction. The one who sets goals and achieves them is the master of his own destiny, and this raises his self-esteem, gives him a surge of strength and energy to move forward.

Dreams do not oblige you to anything. But if we want them to come true, we need to turn them into goals and strive to achieve them - become goal-oriented. American author and management expert Zig Ziglar said that “Most people who want to achieve a dream and fail do so not because of a lack of ability, but because of a lack of determination.”

Perhaps for some, such a character trait as determination was passed on with genes. Perhaps children of purposeful parents will grow up to be purposeful. But what should others do who don’t want to go with the flow in this life? American psychologist Orison Marden derived his formula for achieving a goal: “... this is the certainty of the goal, knowledge of what a person wants, and a burning desire to achieve it.”

"I see a purpose, but I do not see obstacles!"!

To become goal-oriented, you need to define your personal goals.

This is already half the success. But for many people, setting goals is a difficult task. When asked about their goals, they answer in a confused and vague manner. The classic of American literature, W. Irving, generally believed that most people live guided by their desires, and only “high minds” are capable of setting goals.

So, if we intend to change our life, if we want to manage it, play a major role in it, we need to answer several questions in writing.

The questions are:

1. What do I want to achieve before I die?
2. What to possess?
3. What kind of housing would you like to have?
4. Where would you like to visit?
5. What people would you like to meet in person?
6. How much would you like to earn?

For each question you need to give detailed, detailed answers (except for the last one, which requires an unambiguous answer). For example, meet with Elan Musk, Richard Branson, David Beckham, Guy Ritchie, etc. Build a country house in the Provence style and describe in detail how we see this house. Or maybe we dream of a city apartment in a house built in the 19th century - what do we imagine it to be? Or do we want to visit the annual carnival in Venice?

The questions are not difficult, and even pleasant, but they require concentration. The experiment showed that out of 10 people who received homework assignments during the training to answer them, only one completed it. How can people want to change and become purposeful if they don’t take the trouble to write down their goals in detail? Most of them are happy to plan their weddings, thinking through the details, but do not consider it important to plan their lives! They will find a hundred reasons not to do this.

Detailed answers to the questions listed above play another role: while thinking about them, we can come to the conclusion that some goal is “not ours”, and we can easily cross it off our list of desires.

The process of defining and forming goals is called goal setting. This term is especially popular in trainings and courses for managers.

For those who find it difficult to define goals, Brian Tracy, author of several books on self-development, advises:

1. The question about your main goal must be answered quickly - within 30 seconds. What we think about during this time will be the main thing for us;
2. Answer the question: if we knew that we had no more than six months to live, what would we want to do during this time?

Another experiment demonstrates the undoubted benefits of goals written down on paper: graduates of one of the respected universities were asked which of them had clearly written goals for the future. There were only 3% of these. A few years later, sociologists returned to the fate of these young people, and it turned out that it was those who had detailed goals who achieved greater success and material wealth than others.

What is determination?

Determination is the ability to follow the intended goal without deviating from the chosen path. Sometimes this quality is confused with fanaticism. But there are fundamental differences between them. If a fanatical person cannot think about anything else, then purposeful people pay attention to current events and simply remember their main task.

Let's look at this using a simple example . Two people go to the gym. One is fanatically raving about the results, spending all his time near the exercise equipment. The second was determined to get in shape for the summer. He trains regularly, not forgetting about his studies, work, relationships, etc. Even on days when the weather is bad outside, he still goes to training. How are they different? A fan limits himself in everything except his passion. A purposeful person also stubbornly moves along the intended route, but maintains his sanity and, in case of changed conditions, can adjust his route in time.

This personality quality has a dual nature. Firstly, to a certain extent it is laid down at birth, just like temperament. One might assume that motivated parents will have similar children, but this is not always the case. That is, their psyche will be more stable and strong than that of other peers. But this will only happen if it is properly raised. So, it's time to talk about "secondly". Here the environment plays a decisive role.

In order for a person to grow purposeful and decisive, he must have before his eyes a similar example of a behavioral model , otherwise his tendency may not develop. Moreover, it is a real example, and not notations or teachings. If parents raise their child in a spirit of purposefulness, while they themselves begin to retreat in the face of the first difficulty, then nothing will come of it. The child must not only know how to do it correctly. He still needs to see the practical implementation of this knowledge through the example of others. Why strive for this at all? Let us reveal all the advantages of this personality quality.

Take a temperament test

The benefits of being goal-oriented.

Purposefulness has a number of advantages. This manner of behavior requires significant volitional efforts from a person, but the results exceed the achievements of less diligent people.

• Firstly , such people are much more likely to achieve success. In cases where others give up and give up, a purposeful person slowly but surely moves towards his dream. Someone will give up their idea after several failures. Another will methodically knock on all doors. Sooner or later it will be opened to him. This is how the fortunes of many people were created, who became rich on their own, thanks to their talents and diligence.
• Secondly , determination is highly valued by others. She is greeted by friends or just acquaintances, admired by employees, and encouraged by managers. Such people achieve respect in society, they are set as an example and try to imitate them. This creates an aura of reliability and seriousness, and in advance gives a large quota of trust from others.
• Thirdly , determination gives a person a sense of meaning. His actions acquire a vector of movement. Such a person no longer resembles a ship that has lost its course and is helplessly wandering through the ocean. He knows which port to sail to and understands why he should do it. The meaning of life fills it with deep content, and this has a beneficial effect on physical and mental health. A person is less exposed to stress, less likely to fall into depression and apathy. From these positions, determination becomes an indispensable condition for mental balance.

If its significance is so great, then it makes sense to figure out how this quality can be developed in oneself.

Making a tree of goals, or breaking big goals into small ones

For example, we are planning to buy a house - this will be our main goal. From it we draw branches with subgoals. What do we need to make our dreams come true? Solve financial issues. How can we do this so as not to drag out this pleasure for years? Find a job that will pay more. But for this we need to master another programming language, learn English, etc. In order for us to have the strength to withstand the workload, we must take care of our health. For this purpose, we can sign up for yoga classes, swimming, etc. It’s also a good idea to think about proper rest, which means planning a trip to the mountains, to the sea, or somewhere else.

We break all subgoals into even smaller ones. For example, when planning a vacation, we book tickets, a hotel, and buy beach items. As a result, we should get a kind of tree called a “goal tree”.

Woman's mission is service

There is a popular belief that a woman’s mission is to serve the goals of a man. Unfortunately, many people interpret this phrase incorrectly. Girls think that their task is to smile, give compliments and receive gifts in return. No, we mean sharing the values ​​of your husband, jointly solving the life problems facing the couple. As a result of united work, higher spiritual values ​​are born and love increases.

Even if you aspire to marriage, don't think that marriage is the only meaningful goal. This opinion is very limiting. A promising and purposeful guy will not pay attention to a woman who seeks to lock herself at home. Develop in different areas, think about health, finances, social activities. I write more about how to build a happy, fulfilling life in the “Women’s Purpose” section.

Multifaceted personalities are attractive. By becoming bright and noticeable in your chosen field, you will quickly attract a successful and influential partner into your life. Your goals should fit harmoniously into a man’s vision of the world. You will bring something new into the world, and thereby inspire others. With your labors you multiply the results of his labor. This is the meaning of service.

We are engaged in visualization

In short, we can say that it is a mental representation of the desired goal as if we had already achieved it. Before practicing visualization, it is worth mastering muscle relaxation, proposed by the American doctor E. Jacobson - it will help relieve emotional and muscle tension that prevents you from focusing on visualization.

In addition, pictures and photographs with objects of our desires depicted on them or reminiscent of them, which can be hung in a visible place, will intensify our actions.

We use the SMART method

The name of the method was given by the first letters of the words specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timed, which respectively means specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, correlated with time.

Achieving a goal directly depends on how well it meets these five characteristics. For example, if we set ourselves the goal of earning money for a new car in a month, then it will be doomed to failure in advance, unless, of course, we accidentally win the lottery. The goal of quickly losing 20 kg without compromising your health will be equally unrealistic.

Setting unattainable and unrealistic goals means dooming yourself to failure in advance.

How to develop persistence

Here are 6 techniques that will help you develop the desired skill:

1. To make it easier for you to achieve your goals, be sure to formulate them in writing, or even better, make something like a dream collage, the pictures from which will not let you forget what you started for.
2. Make plans for your actions before you start work, and not during, because in this case you will not have excuses and you will not be able to deceive yourself. This will also encourage persistent action.
3. Share your own goals and plans with other people. It's no secret that we are more often ashamed if we haven't kept our promises to other people and not to ourselves.
4. Keep yourself motivated by learning about other people's success stories. You will be surprised, but most of the outstanding personalities did not become so in one day, it took them years and sometimes decades to achieve the result. They haven’t deviated from their path, why are you worse?
5. Find people whose goals and objectives are similar to yours and start acting together. In this case, you will have additional obligations to others, which will also force you to move forward.
6. Learn to relax. Take breaks from your work, in which you focus on other areas of your life, then moving towards your goals will not seem so dreary and monotonous, and you will get down to business with new strength every time.

If you follow these tips, you will very quickly feel that perseverance and moving for a long time towards one goal is not so difficult.

We don’t tell anyone about our goals

Except maybe for the people we trust. Sometimes it is advised, on the contrary, to involve as many people as possible in your plans. This should supposedly be an incentive to carry them out - who would want to be branded as a windbag!

But there is another danger here: they will ironically tell us something like “well, well, let’s see what you can do,” “if you were going to fly high, it will hurt to fall.” And the spark in us will go out, our hands will give up, and we will not have enough strength to move towards the goal. You can only initiate your plans into someone who says: “I believe in you!”

© Elena Timoshenko, BBF.RU

Option 2

All people in life set themselves various tasks, dreams and goals, but not everyone is able to achieve the desired result. Only those people who move towards it achieve their goal. Such people have a sense of purpose and are able to “move mountains.”

Many famous people give examples of determination. For example, Stephen King's first novel "Carrie" brought the writer about 200 thousand dollars, but before that the editors rejected this work 30 times.

JK Rowling was a single mother living on welfare benefits and also suffered from depression. Her work about Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers. Despite all this, today she is one of the richest and most famous writers in the whole world.

Athletes who have achieved any results deserve to be called purposeful and bright people. For example, the famous basketball player Michael Jordan. In his youth, he was removed from the school basketball team, and in college he was not accepted into the basketball team. According to Jordan, he lost almost 300 games and missed more than 9,000 shots. He suffered many failures, but nevertheless achieved his well-deserved success, showing his determination.

To achieve such heights, athletes train for many years, giving up their free time and various benefits. Such people have incredibly resilient character and discipline, which allows them to overcome difficulties.

In everyday life, you can also find many people who show determination. For example, a person who is successfully moving up the career ladder shows determination in all its glory. In scientific activity, determination is also important in order to overcome obstacles on the path to great scientific discoveries.

It is worth noting that all people are capable of demonstrating and developing a sense of purpose. To begin with, you just need to set small goals for yourself and take small steps towards them. After completing small tasks, enthusiasm for big ones will appear.

The lives of millions of famous people show us an example of their hard work, efficiency and determination, which helped them overcome any difficulties. Every person is capable of this. The main thing is to strive for the goal, to put in a lot of effort, because a simple desire is not enough.

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