We all loved to dream as children. Some wanted to become astronauts, others wanted to write books with fairy tales, others wanted to sell ice cream or inflate balloons. And then it seemed that all this would certainly come true.
The young years flew by quickly, the adult uncles and aunts “became more serious.” Of course, they allow themselves to dream, but not out loud and definitely not shouting about it to the whole world. And dreams have become more earthly and practical - “a new car”, “to build a house with a view of the sea”, “to earn a million”.
And every year everyone makes these wishes under the Christmas tree, sincerely believing that in the new year they will come true. But for some reason, some boldly realize their plans and come to the life of their dreams, while others copy their cherished words from one piece of paper to another, and the scenery outside the window does not change. Why is this happening?
Why don't dreams come true?
Let's look at a few of the most important factors.
- Other people's dreams:
- “I want to get married, because mom and dad are hinting that it’s time.”
- “I dream about a child - parents “order” a grandson.”
- “I want a red car, like Masha’s, it looks so beautiful in the photos.”
- “Everyone writes books, and I want to.”
What's the result? Of course, there is no strength or special zeal left to realize such a dream, because there is always something more important and pressing. More “yours.” And the dream will continue to live on paper and in your head.
- Incomprehensible dreams
If you only have an abstract picture in your head and you don’t understand how to get even one step closer to realizing it, everything remains as it was. After all, the universe has no other hands than ours. And if we are inactive, even due to misunderstanding, neither clarity nor the realization of dreams will appear on their own.
- Mutually exclusive dreams:
- “I want to spend a year on a pilgrimage this year” - and at the same time, “I want to give birth to a child.”
- “I dream of writing a dissertation” and “I want to get a higher position and therefore I am ready to work twenty hours a day.”
- “I want to get married” and “I dream of patenting my invention and therefore I sit at home constantly working on samples.”
Yes, most likely, one of these desires is not voiced out loud, so everything seems logical. But if you look into it and honestly admit it to yourself, it will become clear: with this approach, you won’t be able to achieve everything at once.
- Uninspiring dreams
It happens that there seems to be a dream, and it is good from all sides: environmentally friendly, ambitious and useful, but... there is no motivation to go towards it.
For example, “I would like to create my own project,” but at work they already pay well, and in the evenings I want to watch a TV series rather than deal with a business plan.
Or “it would be nice to move to a new house by the sea,” but there is a lot of cleaning and trash in this apartment, and utilities have become more expensive. It holds everything here. Let it be as it is. Although dreaming about something new is a sacred thing.
It also often happens that a person has a dream, but simply does not have the physical and moral strength to realize it. And then you need to first recover, then delegate unimportant matters, and only then begin to pursue your dream with renewed vigor.
Dream or Convenient Career?
Ecology of life: What to choose – an unattractive job as a source of income or an activity that allows you to realize your talent...
I am often asked the question: what to choose - an unattractive job as a source of income or an activity that allows you to realize your talent .
People face difficulties and are lost when they have to choose between a job for which they are paid and a less profitable, but favorite job that does not promise any social and financial guarantees.
In fact, neither one nor the other wants to choose “either-or”, but wants to receive magical advice on how to get both, something similar to: “how to be healthy and maintain disability benefits and other benefits of the patient "
JUG OR PIPE?
There is such an old cartoon “Jug or pipe?” A great version of a training video lesson that helps you avoid wasting time and money looking for miracles.
Brief description of the plot: children are going to pick berries. One girl is angry, she is lazy, she “does not see” the berries.
Suddenly she meets a mushroom, which offers her to change - a pipe instead of a jug. After playing the pipe, all the berries become visible. The girl agrees. But! It turns out that there are plenty of berries, but there is nowhere to put them - you need a jug. She runs to the mushroom to change, but when she returns, she again does not find or see the berries. So she ran to the mushroom several times and kept asking to change.
Summary: life is generous with gifts, they will help you, but you will also have to put in your own efforts .
WRONG DIRECTIONS
Your favorite activity, your dream job, is not entertainment, where you just show up and they already applaud you, hang a wreath around your neck and bring you money. The reward is the final scene, this is the finish, this is the result. Realization of an idea or talent is a process. It is during the creative process that a person experiences great pleasure and happiness; this is what everyone unconsciously wants and seeks, and not the job or career itself.
If you are haunted by the thoughts “what do I get out of this”, “what will I get”, “how soon”, then here we are talking about survival on the material plane. Of course it's important. And since this prevails, try to work with it, give it the attention it deserves, since you still won’t calm down, you don’t need to deceive yourself. This is neither good nor bad. It’s just that this is what’s relevant for you right now. Needs need to be met.
There are no highly valued professions with a guaranteed future, but it is possible to become a sought-after professional with a successful outlook. It just so happens that in most cases, faster and more stable financial success awaits in an area, a service for which the world has already made an application, where demand already exists.
If you have ambitions, a passion to follow your personal goal, then, of course, sooner or later your favorite activity will become profitable, you will be paid for it. You just need to realize that this takes time, you need to constantly improve your qualifications and competence, look for people interested in this, then it is possible that you will be noticed and appreciated, and your services will be used.
TEST “JOB “OUT OF LOVE” OR “BY CALCULATION”
Always focus on what you need, what you really want. Because work, business, favorite activity, like money that motivates you to work, is just a tool, not a goal. Then distribute your goals according to the “global – local” principle and act in stages.
What is more important for you, more relevant at the moment: solving material problems, improving living conditions or self-development, creativity. Start with this. Later, try to go to the other side, learn to do it consciously, yourself, and not under the pressure of circumstances, over time you will succeed - to combine both creativity and material benefit.
If material needs and everyday life are relevant to you:
1. Never give up a source of income, even if it is an “ordinary”, “unloved”, “non-prestigious” job, especially if you are a responsible person who needs to pay bills, feed your family, and keep a roof over your head. If you have a lot of responsibilities and restrictions, of course, you should be more “grounded”, not be capricious and consider different possibilities.
2. Hired work is an excellent opportunity to start, a “transitional” option, especially if you do not have a social and financial “rear” (parents, husband-wife) and you are not self-confident. Choose a field of activity that is attractive to you, find an enterprise, a company, a team where you could study, build the necessary connections, gain experience, and later you will be able to use all this successfully. If you choose this option, one thing is important here - do not get stuck and control the terms yourself when it’s time to go your own way, on your own.
3. In addition to covering ordinary household expenses, hired work can speed up the realization of your dream, your project, which needs not only an idea, but also finance: for example, to create a website, for advertising, for purchasing various tools, for training, acquiring skills etc.
4. If you are always looking for guarantees in everything, it is better not to engage in business or creativity. This requires 100% personal responsibility and courage. If you think that “you only need money (usually a large amount), and you already know what and how to do with it,” then it’s better not to take on what you dream of, it’s just your fantasy. Most likely, you won’t even try because it’s not your thing. Not yet.
5. The world has changed radically. Therefore, let us have no illusions - currently there is no such thing as a “safe career” or “job with guarantee”.
If you put self-development and the realization of talents first – your dream:
1. Remember, in order to find yourself, you don’t need to go somewhere far away, fly to Mars or have a million - everything that’s yours is always with you . All the knowledge of the Universe rests in your soul, you just need to be able to find it and open up to it. If you came into this world, then you are able to awaken your uniqueness.
2. If you choose your favorite activity that develops your talents, if this is your “No. 1”, you will do it no matter what, under any circumstances, no matter what your well-being or financial situation will be. Those who really want are always looking for opportunities, those who don’t want are always looking for excuses.
3. You are open to new acquaintances, experiments - novelty. Your growth and development never stops; you actively share your experience and are interested in the experiences of others.
4. Money or “what’s in it for me” is not the deciding factor. You easily and happily invest your time and finances in your activities and in your professional growth. Over time, you begin to notice how events take shape and develop as if by themselves: the right people appear, creative ideas are born, circumstances develop in your favor, and you just watch how everything develops successfully and enjoy your first income.
PRINCIPLE OF THE GOLDEN MEAN
Life activity, communication, exchange of experience, self-development are really very important for a person; it is very important for him to be interesting, in demand, through this his life is filled with meaning.
But people come up with a lot of illusions about their dream job. In reality everything is different. Even if a person does what he loves, he experiences creative pangs, stagnation, and ordinary routine.
If you become uninterested and bored, it means that what you are doing is not conducive to your development, it’s time to change something, update yourself. And it will always be like this. Stopping, static is death, life is continuous movement and constant changes. To be afraid of change is to be afraid to live.
So, the answer to the question - what to choose, a comfortable career or the realization of a dream - choose “I”. In real life, you can and should combine both. And life will give clues as to whether you are moving towards your goals.
Also interesting: Dream job: The brutal truth about working for yourself
7 steps to your dream job
If you are accompanied by a financial rise, even if insignificant, but stable, if you feel a surge of energy and not a loss of it, you feel inspired and are able to share it with others, attract people to you, then you are on the right path. published
Author: Ilma Safronova
PS And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet
Your dream will turn you into a leader
Incredibly, a dream can radically change a person’s life. Dream and success are best friends who go through life side by side. If it weren't for Bill Gates, the world might not have been able to know what a personal computer is. If John Lenan had not been a dreamer, no matter how many wonderful songs we would have heard. Of course it cannot be denied that a very important part of a leader is motivation. And motivation, in turn, appears when you have a goal, and a goal appears only when you want something, when you have a dream. What's the difference between leaders and dreamers?
Dream clarity
To get what you want, you must clearly imagine it in all its colors. You can't have any blurs or you'll be doomed to fail. To transform into a vibrant leader and achieve success, you need to visualize your dreams. For example, Steve Jobs, he lost many years to achieve his desired dream. Apple became a brand only because Steve Jobs had a clear definition and vision of what he wanted.
Radical Thinking
Those who truly believe and see their dream can infect those around them with it. Dreamers know how to motivate and can inspire a person. Lighting up with a dream, they immediately become leaders, convincing with their ideas and dreams. Such people always know what they want and this gives determination to their actions and thinking.
burning desire
It is desire that leads people to success and sets a constant desire for the achieved goal. It inspires you and motivates you to take certain actions. For example: Chris Gardner, a successful millionaire and self-made entrepreneur. He became the owner of a large corporation and was helped only by his great desire.
A reserve of self-confidence
A dream inspires you and gives you a lot of strength and energy that helps not only you, but also the people around you. When you have an idea of what you need, you can take risks and make the right decision at any time. Only a positive attitude towards your dream will lead you to success. Luther King's "I Have a Big Dream" speech spoke of his passion for uniting the black and white people of America. He lived only for this dream. And he alone went against 10 million people to prove how good this world is. With his dream, he achieved trust and gained strength.
Fullness of the heart
And the final condition for turning a dreamer into a leader is a full heart. The dream is where the heart is. Desires are influenced not only by thoughts, but also by feelings. You are better at what you take on with your soul. A dreamer makes mistakes, learns from those mistakes and moves on because he will never give up on his dream. Energy pours out of him like a stream. Ray Kroc, the creator of McDonalds, was rejected eight times before he was given a loan to start his business.
You must have your own dream
We live in an era of success. Now the most popular people are motivational speakers who set us up to achieve the most desirable things in life. How to change to achieve your goal? What steps should I take? But the question is: are they preparing you for your dream, will all these prescribed metamorphoses lead you to your ideal?
Numerous business and personal growth trainings, where people come to “make their dreams come true,” may not be bad in themselves. After all, there is nothing wrong with daydreaming and anticipation. The problem is that most of our dreams are invented, learned. That is, in fact, the dream turns out to be not what the person himself wants, but what he has been “infected” with. This is literally a virus that he caught while in society. And as a result, a person spends time implementing some concepts that he grabbed from others (or that a “coach” instilled in him). Which I either spied or created for myself, but precisely as a compilation from dozens of sources, and not an individual dream.
And what happens next? You have an imposed dream: I want a million, a house by the sea, a beautiful wife, etc. All your life you go towards it, overcoming obstacles and everything that is customary to be fiercely overcome on the way to your cherished goal. And then at 45 years old (and sometimes at 60) they look back and realize that they didn’t want a million, a house by the sea and a beautiful wife. But the worst thing is that they not only went the wrong way, but also in the process of achieving someone else’s dream, due to all the overcomings, they did not live their lives to the fullest. And then a terrible crisis begins. Life-threatening in the truest sense of the word.
“There are mediocre dreamers, and then they are truly dangerous people.”
Georg Christoph Aichtenberg
At one time, I worked quite closely with patients with suicidal behavior. And I discovered that among people who, looking back at their lives, understand that they did not live, successful and unsuccessful treatment outcomes are distributed approximately 1 to 1.
In this context, I would like, firstly, to encourage everyone to strive for their own dreams, and not someone else’s. Alas, in the era of success, everyone wants to be abstractly “successful”, someone “worthy”, someone else, and not themselves. Although in my understanding this is much more important. And secondly, think seriously about what exactly the transformation and adaptation should be like that leads to the achievement of goals.
After all, what is usually taught in the already mentioned success courses? The most popular auto-training model is dream visualization. If you visualize your goal properly, if you strain with all your might, then it will most likely come true (even the special term “law of attraction” is usually mentioned here).
Meanwhile, it is not at all necessary that self-realization and harmony in life require colossal expenditures of energy on the path to a dream. Perhaps you should use not your energy and not your resources, but the energy of life itself? Not to try to control your own existence, but to let it control a person?
In my book, The Managed Miracle, I give a simple analogy. Imagine that you are sitting behind the wheel of some incredibly powerful sports car. You have chosen the direction, and now you are trying to push this sports car along the desired road yourself (even with the active help of passers-by). Yes, yes, this is stupidity, instead of starting the car and using the colossal resources that it has under the hood.
What is this resource in my analogy? This is life itself. We are used to thinking that we control our lives (and in many ways this is not bad, since it creates a generation of responsible people). But if we imagine that everything is the other way around and our life controls us (as an independent substance, as a certain process that occurs independently of us - and to which we can only surrender and adapt), we get a tenfold effect. This applies to happiness, dreams, and satisfying relationships with other people. The only trouble is that this is the most difficult thing in psychotherapy.
The impossible is impossible
“A dreamer often correctly determines the future, but he does not want to wait for it. He wants to bring it closer through his efforts. What nature needs thousands of years to achieve, he wants to see perfected during his lifetime.”
Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
I remember a situation when I was about 12 years old and my grandmother gave me a camera. How happy I was! I thought that this was what made me the happiest child in the world. I walked around, took photographs, locked myself in the bathroom every Sunday (enlarger, developer, fixer...). It was so interesting to me! But one thing darkened my life. I doubted: what if five years pass and I no longer want to take photographs? This thought was very frightening. And of course, five years passed and I no longer wanted to take photographs. But this transition, this recognition to yourself that you don’t want what is usually wanted, or you can change and stop wanting what you originally wanted (a million, a house by the sea, a wife) is the most difficult. And the whole question is whether a person will have the courage to abandon what he thought (or still thinks by inertia) is the meaning of his life.
The risk here is very high. As I have already said, such recognition or awareness leads to strong crises, as a result of which it may become vital to rebuild oneself. Essentially, it is the fear of losing your former self. And this, I would say, is a guaranteed risk. Indeed: most likely, if you become more sensitive to all manifestations of life, if you find your dream, and not someone else’s, then you will die as before.
But there is also good news. By making a choice in favor of the real you, you take the path of daily happy finding of your own balance and your own life in all its fullness. Movement towards a foreign, imposed, introduced “viral” dream or goal is most often extremely simple, understandable, linear and banal. This is a daily repeatable process.
In the same model of adaptation to life that I want to describe (when you allow life to control you), movement towards a goal is not linear. From today's point of view, I don't know my goal in 10 years. I can paint a picture, and tomorrow it can change. But when immersed in life, this is no longer so scary. I am ready to face the fact that tomorrow my dream will be different. And it is precisely this aspect - the opportunity to revise goals and dreams every day, the opportunity to confirm one’s choice every day - that makes a person alive.
Dreamers of life
The main problem people have is not “lack of connection with their lives.” The overwhelming majority of people are insanely illiterate regarding even basic knowledge about the nature and existence of man. And life is a rather complex and labor-intensive profession, involving a voluminous set of competencies acquired through serious education and training based on strict scientific knowledge. The most important thing and the very first thing worth understanding is that we all have at least several dozen serious cognitive gaps in the perception of reality, we are all fantastically prone to self-deception and are extremely susceptible to the most primitive suggestion. We need to start getting to know ourselves, mastering critical thinking, otherwise we will flush ourselves down the toilet. Alas, as long as money is more important than knowledge and skills to solve current problems, the movement towards the abyss will only accelerate...
Evgeniy VOLKOV, expert, consultant and researcher on critical thinking, social impact and social engineering
dreams come truedreams
How it works.
Now I’ll tell you how these rules “worked” for me. In the winter of 2014, the Winter Olympic Games were held in our country, or more precisely in the city of Sochi. I really wanted to go there, but I had no idea how to do it. There were many excuses that it was expensive, far away, etc. However, in my thoughts, I clearly saw myself there, as a fan. But he hasn’t taken any action yet.
One day, about six months before the start of the Olympics, I brought a friend, at his request, a new phone. After which I calmly go home. After some time, a friend calls me back and says: “You know, there’s some kind of card on the phone here for a draw for a trip to the Olympics in Sochi. You need?". I say: “of course!”, I take this card from him. I register it. I carefully read the rules of the draw. Then I understand that in order to increase my chances of success, I need to make a trip to a neighboring city to participate in a road show of a phone manufacturing company. I tell my wife about this, we go and participate in various simple activities. After which we receive additional points, increasing the chances of winning a trip to the Olympics.
I calmly continue to live as before, but the image of the Olympics regularly “pops up” in my head. Now I am almost sure that I will be in Sochi at the Olympics. What do you think happened next? I can’t call what happened then anything other than a miracle. About a month, maybe two, before the start of the Olympic Games, they called me and told me. “We congratulate you, you have won a trip to Sochi for two.” To say that I was happy is to say nothing at all. I didn’t really jump with delight. Emotions were simply overwhelming!
