In this article I have collected the most important questions for a guy about love. You can ask them to your man or husband. Frank questions for couples will help make your relationship more harmonious and take it to a higher level.
Many people take the relationship between a man and a woman for granted. But in order for them to bring mutual joy and pleasure, you need to work on them, receive feedback from your partner and draw conclusions.
This article is for those who:
- Is in a relationship or married
- Afraid of losing the emotional component in a relationship
- Wants to get closer to a man and understand him
- Interested in developing harmonious relationships
Inconvenient questions
Basically, as for women, uncomfortable questions are related to their personal life, sometimes their appearance or well-being. For example:
- When was the last time you had a man?
- Why did you break up with your ex?
- How many men have you had before me?
- How old are you? (you must agree, not all women want to answer this question frankly)
- You're already over...tsat, why haven't you gotten married yet?
- You're already over...why don't you still have children?
- Why you so sad?
- What will we do today? Where shall we go? (it’s better when such issues are decided by a man, even after a joint discussion, but not by a woman alone)
- What do you think about threesomes?
- Why do you need me like this?
- Do you love me? (it is believed that such questions are exclusively a female privilege, but men are also guilty of this)
- Will you lend me money? (no, no and no, this is not even discussed)
Questions related to work and salary can be equally annoying, as can typically masculine questions like “What are you wearing?” or “Are these your real nails?” (about invoices). Or questions of a deeply intimate nature, which should only be discussed with a gynecologist, but not with a lover in love.
What to do if your husband finds out about your ex?
Recommended articles on this topic:
- How to forget a married man and start a new life: a few steps to happiness
- How to break up with a married man and start a happy life
- An affair with a married man: pros and cons
It happens that a husband encourages his wife to be frank in conversations about a past life, and as a result makes unexpected discoveries for himself. It turns out that she had quite a lot of lovers, and in general, this was considered in the order of things for his woman. At the same time, it is completely useless to convince your chosen one that the free life is left behind, and he is now the only and best of all men.
After the husband finds out about his exes, for some reason he involuntarily begins to feel like a loser in this imaginary battle, because the desire of any man is to be the first, the strongest, the most attractive, the bravest, etc. The most vulnerable point of contact for men is their sexuality and masculine viability. Great sensitivity must be exercised in this matter. And if even before the wedding you have had considerable intimate experience, you are familiar not only with almost any position, but also with group sex, and love with female representatives, then it will be quite difficult for your husband to surprise you with something in bed. This balance of power usually has a depressing effect on men and does not allow them to feel like heroic lovers.
Absolute openness in conversations about the past can greatly hurt a man. Sometimes you don’t have to fully demonstrate your experience and leave it for later.
Although, even if after your husband found out about your ex, it became harder for you to find a common language, he is offended, and you feel some guilt, let some time pass. Perhaps you just need to get through this moment, and everything in the relationship will fall into place.
Be understanding of his emotional experiences, help him not to lose self-esteem, be there and give him your love.
In this case, a frank, heart-to-heart conversation will help well. Yes, such a conversation already happened once, and the husband found out about the exes. Now talk again, let him come clean and talk about his fears.
For example, you can agree that first he talks for 15-20 minutes about everything that worries him. At this time you listen carefully. Then you switch roles: you talk about your feelings, and he listens and does not interrupt. And after about half an hour, discuss together everything that was said by both. It is very important not to shout or insult each other.
Most likely, after your husband found out about your exes, he harbored a grudge against you. He definitely needs to be given the opportunity to speak out, experience his anger and throw it out in conversation. It is possible that he will want to seek help from a psychologist.
Try to convey to your husband the simple truth that we all live in society, gain life experience and inevitably communicate with the opposite sex. After all, he also had relationships with other women before the wedding. And now you are delighted that your husband chose you from among many girls and wanted to connect his life with you forever! Isn't this happiness? Explain this to your husband in your own way, in a feminine way, show sensitivity, affection, humor, and possibly tears in the conversation, but first of all, love. Praise, forgive, confess your love, and this will bring you very close!
Often after the husband finds out about his ex, the couple turns to a psychologist for help. However, it is not always clear what exactly causes the greatest concern for each spouse. Usually a man cannot clearly articulate his experiences.
What if you try to imagine that you didn’t tell your husband anything about your past? How would your relationship be in marriage? It is possible that both of you would live absolutely happily, without worries and doubts. It turns out that the only problem is that your husband found out about your exes, and it is this knowledge that spoils your relationship. It prevents him from simply living peacefully and enjoying intimacy with you. You can’t help but think that if it weren’t for this past life, the current one could have been cloudless.
Often, under such circumstances, a man cannot completely trust his wife, he certainly suspects something, fears the return of the past or the appearance of one of her ex-men on the horizon, etc. At the same time, it is very important how a woman will behave, whether she will retain attachments to her past life and whether she will remain faithful to her current chosen one.
Life shows that people often harshly condemn others for mistakes, while they consider their own mistakes to be insignificant. You must be able to calmly discuss controversial situations. After all, it happens that the husband found out about his exes, and this makes him angry and irritated. He holds the grudge within himself, but refuses to speak directly. Such silence becomes the cause of quarrels, because the accumulated internal tension certainly results in reproaches, unpleasant hints addressed to the spouse, etc. And at this time she does not understand what is happening, feels unfair to herself and is also nervous. Such mutual misunderstanding ends in a huge scandal.
At such a moment, it is important to be able to calmly discuss everything and consider the pros and cons of the situation. Let your spouse give an objective assessment of past events and existing present relationships. What will be more important and significant for him?
How to answer?
First of all, you need to remember that men are more straightforward than women, and if a man asks strange and awkward questions, then most likely he did not intend to offend or offend you at all. He probably really wants to get the information he is interested in, or help if he thinks something is wrong with you. Sometimes a man may simply be nervous in your presence from the influx of feelings and be unable to formulate the question that worries him in a more delicate way.
How do you still react if a man asks tricky questions? There are several ways to avoid unpleasant questions:
Magic phrases
“For what purpose are you interested?” or “Why does this bother you so much?” Usually this is enough to confuse the questioner. Or force him to explain himself to you.
No specifics
For example, if a man asks how much you earn, answer: “Enough to live on.” That's all. There is no need to describe your budget in detail or talk about your sources of income.
Ask an expert
Honestly admit that you have not been very lucky in relationships or that you are not satisfied with your current job (salary). Ask how he thinks the situation can be changed. It is possible that you will receive really valuable advice and even real help.
Laugh it off or change the subject
Calmly and confidently change the subject. If appropriate, laugh it off nicely.
No comments
Say directly and unambiguously that you do not want (or are not ready) to talk about an uncomfortable topic. Perhaps later. Remember that mysterious omissions in the early stages of a relationship are much better than having your heart wide open. Your gentleman will inevitably be intrigued, and you will avoid awkward situations.
Is it true
If a man inspires trust, you can tell him the truth. But first, make sure that this truth will not put you in a negative light and will not cause moral harm to you or other people.
What are NOT signs of a serious relationship?
✖ Compliments and promises. His compliments, words, promises. Perhaps he says this from the bottom of his heart, but without actions, a man’s words are an empty phrase!
- he promises to find a job and achieve career heights so that you can be proud of him;
- he says that you will definitely get married in the future (in some foggy and distant future);
- assures you that you are the most wonderful woman on Earth, etc. Divide all this blah blah by at least 20 and don’t worry. Yes, perhaps he really thinks so now and is completely sure of it. But this does not mean that in a month or a year nothing will change and he will be able to accomplish all this.
✖ Duration of your relationship. If you have been together for a year or even 5 years, this is not an indicator. Maybe all this time he's only been thinking about how to break free. And with you he just feels comfortable... for a while.
✖ He is jealous of you. Jealousy is not a sign of love at all. It just means that he is possessive and insecure. Well, or you are being immodest.
✖ He introduced you to friends. It's more fun and more comfortable to hang out together. If he does NOT introduce you to them and does not go out with you in public at all, this is an indicator. But if you introduced him, it may not mean anything at all.
When to be wary
You should be wary if a man shows too obvious interest in your financial situation from the first date.
That is, he asks in detail about your earnings, sources of income, size and cost of the apartment. This, unfortunately, may indicate that he is either a gigolo or a scammer hoping to profit at your expense. Be wary if a man, especially at the beginning of dating, begins to ask about your exes, or zealously and openly find out your sexual preferences. This is completely inappropriate if you are looking forward to a long-term relationship. In addition, this may mean that the gentleman is pathologically jealous and in the future will begin to ruthlessly control and tyrannize you.
And, of course, it is worth separating sincere, even provocative questions from overt rudeness and rudeness. Remember that in any case, you are an adult and should not be accountable at all about your past and present. If you want to learn more about the strong half of humanity and increase self-esteem, be sure to watch Pavel Rakov’s television show “My Beautiful Ones” and come to his trainings.
if a man says why do you need me
1. When everything is bad, don't scream. Better cry
Screaming is a manifestation of aggression. This is masculine energy, a masculine way of reacting. Whereas tears are a feminine way of reacting. When a woman screams, she is unlikely to be heard. Most likely, she will only awaken reciprocal aggression in a man. And then the squabble will continue, turning personal.
Tears are a woman's ability to express her feelings. This is a way to make a man feel and show masculine strength. Nowadays, what’s surprising, there are so many women who don’t know how to cry at all. The feminine principle is so suppressed in them that under no circumstances can they squeeze out a single tear.
Learn to cry. Very often, at the moment when tears are ready to flow, we block them. And instead of tears we release anger. After all, we want to appear strong and self-sufficient. We are afraid to show our vulnerability and sensitivity, our weakness and softness. We are afraid that later they will take advantage of this and make it even more painful.
But this is the only way we can really convey to a man that we are in pain and hard. This is the only way we can stop an unnecessary quarrel. Tears are a signal to a man that he has come far. And this is a stop valve for a quarrel rushing at full steam... In addition, women's tears burn family karma. Therefore, it is even useful: to cry when it is difficult.
2. When you cry, scold yourself
Tears have a very powerful effect on men. I would even say too strong to abuse it. Abuse is when we cry and blame. There is nothing heavier for a man’s heart than the tears of a beloved woman with accusations. He immediately begins to feel enormous guilt, even if he doesn’t show it outwardly.
And then - in order not to feel guilty - he can begin to make excuses, or scream, or simply leave... But if a woman cries and blames herself for everything, then the most natural impulse of any knight is to save her. Take the blame. So you give him the opportunity to become a knight.
You should not manipulate this, you should not abuse this tool. Nobody likes to be used or manipulated. Let's take care of each other.
3. Daily foot massage
It is believed that such a ritual is the shortest way to a man’s heart. A woman who stretches her lover’s feet for at least five minutes every day after work can expect all her desires to be fulfilled. Moreover, it is believed that in this case all the man’s energy is focused only on her. And this is the best prevention of betrayal.
Foot massage also helps to level out the hierarchy in the family: a man can feel like a captain, and a woman can feel like his assistant. In addition, almost every man loves a massage. This way he can feel that he is loved. And when he is loved and needed, he immediately wants to do something for the one who loves... Such a small ritual - and so much is hidden in it!
4. Agree with his opinion
One of the most miraculous phrases: “Yes, dear.” And the second - “As you say, my love.” A man is an opinion. He always has his own position, his own opinion on every issue. It is very important for him to see a woman agree with him. When you accept his opinion, for him it means that you accept him.
It’s not so difficult: listen to his idea and express admiration. It’s not so difficult to ask his advice in a difficult situation. Even if you end up doing differently. Ask him for advice and thank him for his wisdom.
In the most important areas, it is also worth doing as he says. If he considers it important to go to his mother for New Year, he should agree. Let him make decisions, and then responsibility will begin to germinate in him. Otherwise, how will it grow if his decisions are not taken into account, and he does not see the fruits of these decisions?
If the decision he made was wrong, he himself will understand it. And he will wrap it around his mustache. This is called a natural consequence. The main thing here is not to draw the line: “Well, you see, I told you so!..” In addition, this way the man will strengthen himself as the head of the family. He will feel that you trust him. And he will be grateful that you respect his opinion. If you respect his opinion, it means you respect him.
5. Convert from male to female
You can force him to apologize. According to all the rules. How women do it:
"Please forgive me. I did not mean to offend you. I'm really sorry".
And you can understand that he: “Well, why are you sulking?” - it is the same. Just said in other words.
So, for example: “I love you” from his lips may sound like: “Well, this... you understand.”
And admiration for your new image may turn out to be silent at all - it just needs to be seen in the eyes.
Not every man is capable of long and deep compliments. Unfortunately, they are not taught this or explained how important this is for a woman. Over time, you can gently teach him this. But first, learn to translate from male to female. So as not to feel unloved and unwanted. So as not to nag him on every occasion. So as not to demand from him what he cannot yet do.
6. Ask him directly
Men are not telepaths. And they don’t realize that our: “Would you like to eat?” actually means that we ourselves are hungry. After all, when a man is hungry, he will speak directly. We women love ornate forms of expressing thoughts. For example:
“Oh, what spring it is outside. And the snow melted, and the grass already appeared. Even the kidneys are already swollen. The tulips are probably already in full bloom..."
For a man, this is simply a description of weather phenomena. Whereas the woman wanted to hint that she wanted a bouquet of tulips.
You can say directly: “I would really like tulips...” But for some reason it seems that he must guess it himself. If he loves. And if you haven’t guessed, it means he doesn’t love you.
Maybe we should just accept that he is wired differently? And he has no time and no need to guess. But he will happily respond to direct requests. Instead of saying: “There’s a mountain of dishes, and I’m tired...” you can simply ask: “Please wash the dishes.” The result will be different. After all, the man is ready to help us. If we ask him to.
7. Open your heart
Intimacy is incredibly important for a woman. And most often we feel this closeness during intimate conversations. With friends weaving mandalas. Or with mom while making dumplings. Or with your loved one while walking through the garden.
It is important to learn to be open and sincere with your man. In this way we can free ourselves from all our worries, feel closeness and security. And besides this, give him a feeling of his need and importance.
It is difficult for a man to understand a woman. He can't guess puzzles and charades for long. And in a long-term relationship, he wants sincerity. Truthfulness. Sometimes we cheat in small things. Sometimes we hide something and think that it is not a lie.
I remember one woman whose husband was stingy. Moreover, this stinginess appeared out of nowhere and grew every day. It was strange for me until I found out that she was hiding the cost of things from her husband. When buying good jeans for her son, she told her husband that they were from a second-hand store. When buying shoes for his daughter, they deceived him, lowering the price by three times. Children also took part in this deception.
So he became more and more stingy. And then he completely took away the family budget from her and gave very little money to the children. And at the same time he wondered why now again it was impossible to buy jeans for a child for two hundred rubles, like last time.
Any deception - no matter how minor - erases trust. Even if a person does not know that this is deception, his soul feels it... According to Vedic sources, this is one of the duties of a wife - to open her heart to her husband. And only the man to whom a woman opens her heart is considered a husband.
8. About problems - without emotions, about emotions - without problems
Men often scold their wives for “exploding their minds.” In fact, this is practically true. It is difficult for a man to perceive both thoughts and feelings at the same time. He hears one or the other. To be heard and solve the problem, separate. Or better yet, declare:
“Now I want your sympathy” - and talk about your experiences. No description of problems.
“Now I need your help in solving the problem” - and then without emotions, only facts.
It’s difficult to learn to separate: we have it all so mixed up! But the result will please you. And the problem will be solved, and sympathy will be received.
9. Reward immediately what you like.
I have seen situations many times that help to understand why men do not give women flowers. So one day I saw a couple passing by a flower shop. He wanted to go there and buy his dear flowers, to which the “darling” said in a deep voice: “What, haven’t I seen these flowers?”
Or, for example, my friends. Her husband brought her an armful of red roses on March 8th. And she greeted him with the phrase: “Do you have nowhere to put your money? It was possible to buy something useful.”
Everything would be fine, but then women complain that in ten years of marriage, not a single bouquet. Of course, what are bouquets if no one needs them?
When a man gives flowers, he wants to see how happy you are. You rejoice, look for a vase, carefully trim the ends and proudly place them in the center of the house. He wants to see you show them off to your friends. He wants you to tell him every time you look at them: “They’ve been standing for so long. You must have chosen them with great love.”
It's the same with gifts. A man does not always give exactly what we would like. But he always puts his whole soul into it. May you not wear such colors. May you prefer white gold over yellow. May you like white roses, not red carnations. It doesn't matter. What matters is his action, the fact itself. He did this for you. Be grateful!
He wants to see joy, gratitude and delight. So that next time I can bring you a bouquet or a gift - and see that sparkle in your eyes again.
This way you will allow him to remain a romantic prince and extend the sweet-bouquet period of your relationship.
10. Prohibited phrases
“Why” and “Why” - quarrels begin with these phrases. Do you really care why he washed your white shirt with his black socks? Is it really necessary to understand why he never cleans up after himself? These two words immediately put both of them in a warlike mood.
“Would you please...” when we say this, we think we are asking. A man hears everything directly. “Could you take the dog for a walk?” There are two options: I can or I can’t. And why was there a question? Does my wife doubt my capabilities? Of course I can. But that doesn’t mean I will do it.
"I told you!" - a phrase that completely kills masculinity and responsibility. There's nothing to even comment on.
“I don’t need you!” or “I’ll find myself a normal husband” - like any other insults, these phrases sink deep into a man’s heart. And they kill love.
In theory, everything turns out simple. All that remains is to start applying it. First you will see what you did wrong. Then you will notice that you are doing something wrong, and you will not be able to stop. The next step will be to change behavior within the situation. And only then will you be able to prevent it... The path is long and difficult, but it definitely leads to happiness.
ૐ Vedic Family ૐ
