No one is immune from stressful situations, and when emotions begin to get out of control, the question arises: “How to pull yourself together and calm down?” We offer several simple recommendations that can help out in almost any difficult situation when concentration and endurance are required. So, let's look at some stressful situations and ways to control emotions.
Analyze what happened
You can't undo what happened, but by taking stock of what happened, you can impartially evaluate and understand what went wrong and where. It will also allow you to understand what worked and what didn't so you can start with a completely new approach.
Analysis can help you review your strategy, prepare yourself, work on your weaknesses, and improve your future performance. It will also give you the confidence to pick yourself up, regroup, bounce back, and start more confidently.
What actions should you take?
This may seem strange, but any. Do something that increases your chances of achieving what you want.
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Don't wait for someone's advice, don't wait for someone's answer, especially don't wait for someone's permission. Take your whole life into your hands and under your control. And start taking action. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Not after renovation. Not after school. Get started today.
Now! Read this article and start taking action.
Why any action? Like this? Very simple. If you have no experience and are afraid of doing something wrong, do not pay attention and act. Even mistakes made, even wrong actions, are experience. And experience is the foundation for the right actions. So, the sooner you start acting, the faster you will gain experience, the faster you will understand exactly how to do it, the faster you will do what needs to be done and achieve your goal. And that's exactly how it works.
Stop absorbing a huge amount of information, loading your brain. Simply studying information without putting it into practice is almost always a waste of time and an excuse to do nothing. Stop wasting time on things that make you stand still in a “good” or “bad” situation. Get angry. Finally, understand that the current situation was created only by you through your actions and deeds. And that only you can fix it. No one will do this for you, at any cost. Only you yourself can take everything into your own hands, get rid of self-pity and change everything
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And you should start with yourself. That is why throughout this article I have been saying that you need to pull yourself together.
Because any path in sports, in spiritual life, in business, in relationships and anywhere else begins with you. Exactly from what is in your head, what thoughts you have and what actions you take.
With all my heart I wish you to escape from “ rat race ”,
look at this world through the prism of yourself and understand that only the steps you take now determine where you will be tomorrow. Our life is a choice every minute. And it is this choice that determines our path. And this choice is only yours. And if you have read to the end, then it’s time to make it and be faithful to this choice until the end of your journey.
Learn from your mistakes
There is a lot of truth in what Henry Ford said when he said that the only real mistake is the one we don't learn from. Failure teaches you like no one else can teach you. You must learn from your mistakes and “listen to the lessons of failure,” as Bill Gates said.
Draw conclusions from your mistakes. Accept them, learn from them and never repeat them. Identify your weaknesses, work on them and turn them into your strengths.
- 8 Important Life Lessons to Learn Before It's Too Late
If everything is fine now
The word “normal” is more dangerous than the word “bad”. In a “normal” situation, a person is not inclined to change anything or move in any way. He doesn’t need to, he’s fine. And this is dangerous because it completely stops any development
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But if you think for a minute, how much beauty there is in our world. When I'm in Thailand, I love watching the sunsets in the evenings. They are magical. The entire sky shimmers with different shades and gradients in several layers. Within a minute, in one part of the sky there are dark burgundy tones, in another - bright orange, in a third - pink and yellow, in a fourth - light blue and turquoise. Within a few minutes the whole sky becomes like a volcanic eruption, as if it is blazing on fire and this fire is in the dark. And after a few minutes it becomes completely dark and the sky begins to flicker continuously from flashes of lightning, diverging in different directions. And this lightning is new every time. And each time it illuminates different images of the combination of clouds, mountains, sea and other elements of the landscape. Every day this picture is completely different. And it is so delightful that the feeling of happiness comes naturally. An understanding comes of what a magical and fairy-tale world we live in.
And I just wrote about the sunset, dear readers. This is only 15-30 minutes of life in one point of our entire globe. I am silent about various types of entertainment, sports, extreme sports, and other ways of getting vivid emotions from our life. Don't you really want all this? Do you really allow yourself to think that you don’t need it or that you don’t deserve it and it will never happen? Or will you accept fate (by the way, it is also built by you, and not by some higher power), that you are destined to be where you are now all your life?
The choice, of course, is yours. But personally, I choose to live. And I'm not ready to realize that I can't achieve something. I can and will do it. And I don’t care how long it takes to achieve it. I don’t care how many mistakes you have to make or problems you need to solve. It doesn’t matter how difficult and difficult this path may be. Anyway, I will do everything to achieve what I want and my goals. This is exactly what the attitude should be. And it is with this attitude that your actions should be carried out.
Develop mental toughness to take control of yourself
Failures don't have to make you sad or break you. Failure is not an end in itself, so don't let it take over your confidence.
Train yourself to accept the bad things in life. Use failure to learn, grow and improve yourself. Maintain a positive attitude in the face of failure. This way you can strengthen your mental toughness.
How to get up from a rocking chair and start taking action
Limit your choice
This is necessary in order to quickly make a decision and begin to act, rather than prepare. Agree with yourself that at first you will read no more than five books and take no more than two training courses.
For example, you can set yourself the condition that you will read only works by foreign authors or only those that have been published in the last year.
Try to set a time limit: do not spend more than one day choosing the right literature or course. In a word, experiment to discard the unnecessary and force yourself to decide as quickly as possible.
Follow the “faster is better” rule
This is one technique that will help you deal with perfectionism. Take it for granted that at this stage speed, not quality, is important to you. Set deadlines as tight as possible and get to work immediately.
For example, promise yourself that by the end of the week you will learn 30 new words and 15 basic phrases in a new foreign language. Or that you will write three thousand words in three days.
You can break a big goal into many tiny steps and work on each of them in sprints.
Try using a timer or taking part in a creative or sports marathon. In short, use any methods that will help you get into the flow and not be distracted by self-criticism. Yes, the result will not be ideal. But making adjustments to the finished work is easier than starting it from scratch.
Balance preparation and implementation
Try this technique. Draw a table with two columns. In the first one you will enter things that are aimed at preparing for a new endeavor, in the second - real steps. The ratio of tasks should not be more than 2: 1. That is, try to have at least one real step for two preparatory actions.
In a business example, it might look something like this. First column: read a new book about personal branding, watch a webinar on how to open a store. Second column: look for premises to rent. If we take foreign languages, then in the preparatory column there will be, say, choosing a textbook and reading a blog written by a popular teacher. And in the action column there will be tasks like “learn a simple dialogue”, “learn how to count to 10”.
This way you will become not only a theoretician, but also a practitioner.
Immerse yourself in a positive mood
When you face defeat, you are overcome with fear and self-doubt. Failure brings with it a dark cloud of negativity. You begin to doubt yourself and begin to doubt your abilities. Positive thoughts are the last thing on your mind, and that's the way it is.
Recovery and reboot take time. To make the process easier and faster, you must fight all the negative thoughts that come into your mind and fill yourself with positivity. Look back and think about your own life and how you have faced and overcome past failures.
Nothing can inspire you more than your personal experience and your own success story. You know you've dealt with this before and you can do it again.
Do it, because practice is the criterion of truth, not thought.
No matter how carefully and in detail we study the project, we will not be able to completely simulate the surrounding reality. Therefore, everything that is in our heads is just a hypothesis. There is only one way to check whether they work - start implementing them.
At our “I+Money” training, where we teach how to break through the glass ceiling of large sums, we have an exercise called “finding money.” Participants write the desired amount on a piece of paper. They are blindfolded, a piece of paper with the amount is hidden in the same room and they are asked to find this piece of paper blindly. Everyone has a partner who protects the person with his eyes closed so that he does not hit or stumble while looking for the treasured leaf.
It is noteworthy that those who achieve results the fastest are not those who stand, think, listen to themselves, then slowly walk to the desired point, and then still stand there and wait for a new revelation to come over them, where to look.
They are found by those who begin to quickly move in different directions, moving their hands around everything. They pat and feel as many objects as possible, finding what they are looking for much faster than those who think. Although often the former go in the right direction, and the latter are wrong.
Focus on improving yourself
Everyone faces failure, but how you look at it and what you do about it is what matters. In most cases, failure occurs because the person failed to prepare well, did not plan properly, or was poorly equipped. It could also be because he was just unlucky.
Regardless of the latter, everything else can be fixed. So, make a list of all the things that you think contributed to your failure and start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your power to correct, solve, improve and develop.
If things are bad now
I once said that only the person himself is responsible for his life. The current life situation is the result that arose from the actions of this person. Or inaction.
The more difficult your current life situation, the better for you. And no one can solve it for you or deal with it for you. This is why no advice will help. Only actions will help
. The actions that you yourself take to correct this.
If you take the biographies of successful people, there were many failures and difficulties behind them. And, believe me, it’s tougher than yours. This is what served as the catalyst for their growth and development. This is what led them to take action. And these actions gave results and made them who they are now.
I call this state “ the state of being up against the wall .”
When you have nowhere to go, nowhere to run away from the current situation and hide. Naturally, you have no choice but to solve it, gathering all your strength, turning a blind eye to weaknesses, laziness, and some reasons that previously prevented the solution of this problem. And I have found myself in this situation many times. And it’s cool if you’re in the same situation now. Know that this is the beginning of serious changes.
Start again
Failure can devastate you if you let it. It can also help you restore yourself and resume your journey if you choose.
Failure does not have to be the end of your dreams, goals and aspirations. The power of failure should motivate you to pursue your goals and start a new life. Let failure make you stronger, tougher and more resilient so that you not only survive it, but become stronger.
It's time to pull yourself together and, with new experience, move on. New things and beginnings await you. Be open to them, don't think about past defeats.
Give new meaning to boring activities
I admit that losing excess weight is a rather boring task. You need to pull yourself together to lose weight - cook the right food, walk with a pedometer, lay out a mat and take out dumbbells. And so on day after day. No days off or vacation. Therefore, it was important for me to learn to enjoy the process. I'm not just working on my abs while sweating - I'm working towards my new slender figure, towards being able to easily run up the stairs and get out of a deep chair on the first try. I liked the sculptor’s image: I cut off the unnecessary – everything that hides the real me. This picture was exactly what made me add 5 sit-ups and 5 seconds of planks every day. She made steamed chicken breast and vegetable soup appetizing, and took me out for a walk in any weather with a pedometer.
Allow yourself to be happy and free!
Take care of yourself
A great way to motivate yourself to do something is to start developing yourself. Every day, brick by brick, drop by drop. Don't like your appearance? Don't like your income? No friends or significant other? It's time to do something about it and stop relying on life. This blog has many motivational articles that may be helpful. For example, what is self-development? I also recommend studying what a comfort zone is.
