Self-control is the ability of the human personality to maintain composure even in emergency situations. Having control over his emotions and feelings, a person does not succumb to general panic and unrest, and does not allow himself to be deceived or offended. He always has a ready response to critical statements, he is calm when others are on the verge of hysteria, he does not give in to emotions, but focuses primarily on reason and rationality.
Definition of the concept
What is self-control? By definition in psychology, self-control is a person’s ability to maintain inner peace and emotional stability with the help of such personal qualities as determination, willpower and courage. An individual with well-developed self-control can think calmly even in critical situations, carefully controlling his own emotions and feelings.
What does it mean to lose self-control? This is a phenomenon when emotions get out of a person's control. In this case, hysteria or stupor may occur, in which the human nervous system is seriously affected.
What gives a person self-control?
The most important advantage that good self-control can provide a person is the ability to act deliberately and judiciously in any circumstances. Most people in a state of shock tend to act impulsively and make many mistakes. As a result, instead of improving their situation, they only aggravate it with wrong actions and erroneous decisions.
Self-control allows you to avoid wrong actions, acting judiciously even in the most difficult circumstances - exactly when it is needed most. A person with good self-control does not panic and does not allow panic in his team.
In addition, self-control provides benefits such as:
- Complete control over your life. If a person always remains calm and acts guided solely by logic and common sense, but not by emotions, no external circumstances can lead him astray from his chosen path.
- High personal effectiveness. A person who does not allow emotions to control him always uses his time rationally and effectively. While working, he is completely focused on the task at hand and is not distracted by anything else.
- High level of motivation. Nothing can distract such a person from his goal; he always knows what he is striving for and consistently fulfills all the tasks set for himself. He does not need inspiring speeches from various “success coaches”; he knows without them which activity is preferable at the moment.
- Resistance to conflicts. When a conflict situation arises, self-control allows you to restrain your emotions and avoid pointless confrontation.
- Rational behavior in extreme situations. Most people, finding themselves in an extreme situation, begin to panic, taking spontaneous actions and making a lot of mistakes. Self-control allows you to first sensibly assess the situation, and only then decide on the most meaningful actions.
- Ability to cope with difficulties. When faced with troubles, difficulties and trials, people perceive them quite emotionally, sometimes even begin to feel sorry for themselves. Self-control helps you to endure any trials with steadfastness, without wasting emotional energy on suffering and self-pity.
The difference between endurance and self-control
Self-control and self-control are concepts whose psychological meaning is often identified or confused with each other.
Grit is the ability of an individual to achieve his goal regardless of the size and strength of the obstacle. A person with good self-control activates mental functions responsible for inhibiting emotions that interfere with the implementation of plans. He steadfastly endures hardship and suffering, pushing emotions into the background, ignoring and suppressing them. This is the main difference from self-control: in this process, feelings are controlled, not pushed aside.
For example, endurance allows a person to be persistent here and now, to demonstrate to others his calmness, and after the end of troubles there is a powerful release of negativity in the form of tears or aggression. With self-control, a person expresses his emotions in the process of resolving the situation, but does it adequately, for example, with the help of I-statements: I am upset, I am angry, I am tired, I am angry. At the same time, he continues to do his job, giving his emotions an outlet within decent limits.
The Art of Self-Control
Self-control refers to the art of tact, tolerance, and patience. The art of self-control is marked by the ability to act rationally rather than emotionally. Self-control allows you to rule not only over yourself, but also over other individuals. This feeling helps in making the right decisions, especially in extreme situations. Self-control makes it possible to see this world through the prism of calm, as well as self-confidence. In everyday life, self-control is manifested in the ability to suppress desires and strong inclinations, the ability to control emotional impulses and show determination, as well as control behavior when fear arises.
Self-control is manifested in the following forms: patience (endure difficulties and inconvenience), abstinence (self-denial - refusal of harmful and reasonable use of useful), equanimity, tranquility (state of balance, peace and tranquility), self-discipline, perseverance (maintaining devotion and fidelity at the time of trials and temptations).
How to learn self-control
How to develop self-control? This process includes the use of different techniques:
- Ignoring external stimuli. If you plan to do a specific task, then you need to try to focus only on it, without being distracted by everything that is happening around. Street noise, an unexpected phone call, thoughts of “the wrong thing” should not prevent you from achieving your goal. You should abstract yourself from them: close the window, call back after finishing work, interrupt the flow of irrelevant thoughts and return them to the right direction.
- Delaying a reaction is another way to maintain composure. Before you react violently to what is happening, stop, take a deep breath, count to ten and back. During this time, it is possible to pull yourself together and give a more adequate reaction.
- Relaxation. You should spend at least 10-15 minutes a day lying quietly and focusing on your inner sensations: where is the tension? Try to relax your body completely, including facial muscles and fingers.
- Deep breathing is also a self-control technique. Practice breathing evenly, calmly and deeply. In a difficult or stressful situation, when breathing becomes shallow and frequent, try to even it out - this helps you concentrate, relax, and gain time to respond.
- Abstraction. This skill allows you to look at a situation from different angles before any emotional reaction is given.
How to develop self-control
Self-regulation - what is it, definition
People are increasingly thinking about how to learn self-control and self-control. There are a number of techniques that will help you gradually develop these qualities. They have established themselves among the stars of show business, as well as ordinary people in need of additional moral help. A person can choose one specific method or use several options that suit different situations. The main thing is to regularly improve your skills and not give in to anxiety.
You need to learn calmness
Knowing what self-control means, developing it is easier than it seems. Among the main methods are acceptance, yoga, meditation, preliminary preparation and the so-called letting go.
Adoption
It is not without reason that they say that one person is irritated in another by a shortcoming that the first has. It is not enough to know your weaknesses, you need to accept them. An individual who reacts inadequately to criticism must work through this issue. Anyone who does not know how to lose must learn that “bitter experience is also experience.” Acceptance is not suppression of emotions, but self-improvement.
Yoga
It includes a set of physical and breathing exercises. Yoga will help an individual control his entire body, and with it his mind and emotions.
Meditation
Learning to distance yourself from an irritant in a timely manner, reflecting the negative and taking positive from the outside are important self-control skills. Having found peace of mind, a person pulls himself together, becomes more confident and bolder.
Preliminary preparation
This can be called a necessary trick, a trick. In order not to encounter surprises, to avoid provocative questions that can throw an individual into a stupor, he must collect information in advance, as well as “go through” other people’s experience. Before meeting with relatives, friends or work partners, you need to find out about the latest events, important moments in their life and work. Then no one will be able to confuse the individual with a sudden question.
Letting go
Many people are held tightly by past experiences. If something resembling unpleasant events appears on the horizon, the individual panics and experiences nervous tension. This needs to be worked out, perhaps with the help of a specialist.
Examples
A teacher, for example, must have the ability to maintain self-control. When children begin to misbehave in class, trying to disrupt it, the teacher has to demonstrate this quality to the fullest. He must resist the desire to shout or kick the main “ringleaders” out of the lesson, but calmly and firmly inform students about the inadmissibility of such behavior in such a way as not to offend anyone, but also not to leave the opportunity to disrupt the lesson.
Another example of people who do not lose their composure is the military. Often these people have to see things that a civilian would never dream of in his nightmares. But they must remain calm to preserve their own health and life, as well as those of their comrades or personnel entrusted to them.
Doctors are also people with highly developed self-control. Regardless of what the situation is, they must remain sober, continue their activities and ensure the recovery of their patients. Surgeons, resuscitators, traumatologists and emergency medical personnel should have the best knowledge of their condition.
What it is
Coolness does not imply emotional detachment and coldness, despite the fact that the root of the word contains these concepts. Rather, we are talking about complete or maximum control of one’s emotions, that is, the ability to hide them or push them into the background in situations where the development of an emotional reaction may interfere with a favorable outcome of the case.
This personality quality cannot be unequivocally classified as a positive or negative spectrum. In addition to making independent decisions regarding rescue or solving crisis situations, cold-bloodedness manifests itself in cruelty and a high degree of inhumanity. In its negative manifestations, cold-bloodedness is characteristic of maniacs, crazed scientists, emotionally burnt-out guards and medical staff who are unable to respond to the level of human suffering. This side is associated with a lack of empathy and, as a consequence of a frustrated instinct to preserve another human being - murders become lengthy and painful, care turns into torture, and the achievement of any goals fully justifies any sacrifice among society.
Positive manifestations of composure lie in the ability to operate exclusively with facts, to maintain the inviolability of the sphere of one’s personal experiences of an intimate nature.
It is difficult to manipulate such a person and it is almost impossible for him to interfere with his assessment of the situation. This trait helps to build a clear plan even in the most unusual situations that change at high speed, which ultimately gives a person a state of calm (or it is this internal stability that allows one to maintain balance).
Many people want to learn composure, pursuing personal goals - to calm the nervous system, direct life in one harmonious direction, and solve emotional problems. It is worth noting that this task is quite feasible, since the quality of composure is not innate, although it has some biological justifications (strength of the nervous system, characteristics of temperament, etc.).
Composure not only helps to react more adequately and correctly, but becomes a real necessity in some areas of activity (military, rescue services, surgeons, crisis psychologists and other specialties directly working in the risk zone). In addition to extreme situations, the ability to take control of one’s emotions helps one to exist in highly competitive teams, with a poor microclimate, and to resist manifestations of mobbing, blackmail and emotional abuse.
How to Maintain Composure
Staying calm like a boa constrictor in any situation is quite difficult for most people. Trying to control yourself sometimes has a negative impact on the nervous system.
The ability to maintain self-control is influenced by the following factors:
- Education and environment. In families without quarrels and conflicts, a child from an early age is raised in an atmosphere of love and peace. He develops self-control skills automatically. A person for whom emotional outbursts have been the norm since childhood will face difficulties in controlling feelings and emotions as an adult. Tactfulness is especially important when communicating with teenagers - during the transition period, children are in an unstable emotional state, which is caused by hormonal changes.
- Physical state. People's general well-being directly affects their internal feelings. If a person has not had enough sleep for a long time, has not eaten regularly and feels physically exhausted and exhausted, it will be difficult for him to maintain tolerance and restrain himself in a verbal confrontation with an opponent.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
To avoid weakening the nervous system, people who have mastered the art of self-control need to pour out pent-up emotions.
It is important to find ways to sublimate and realize emotional potential. Extreme sports or creative activities are great for self-soothing.
Excerpt psychology
In psychology, stress resistance consists of 4 positive qualities:
- the ability to suppress inappropriate desires and attractions;
- making decisions with reason, not emotions;
- the ability to confront fears;
- determination;
In the philosophy of Stoicism, endurance plays a huge role. The core of Stoicism is about putting maximum effort into what we can change and not wasting energy on what we can't. This is a key moment in the formation of perseverance, perseverance and endurance in any matter.
“Stirlitz never rushed things. Self-control, he believed, was the other side of speed. Everything is determined by proportions: art, intelligence, love, politics.” – film “17 Moments of Spring”
It's simple: a person is not a machine, no matter how hard you try. You can maintain composure only by setting your priorities correctly. Neither you nor your nerves are enough for all the affairs of the world.
