Who is a self-sufficient person (from psychologist Anna Kiryanova)
Articles by philosopher Anna Kiryanova are always interesting. And so she believes that a self-sufficient person is not a very good person at all, or rather, inconvenient. And why? Because he has an opinion independent of anything, he simply voices it on any issue.
He is “a little” selfish, straightforward, and doesn’t ask anyone for anything at all. But if they give him something or give him something, he is happy about it. He can buy or acquire a lot for himself. However, he is ready to share with others “just like that.”
He is never at all bored when alone, his range of interests is so wide. But at the same time, he can also be the “life of the party”, since it is interesting to be with him, he knows a lot of useful things and generously shares this knowledge.
They can criticize him, dislike him for something, talk and discuss about him behind his back, advise him on something. He will hear you, but he always has his own opinion, although he may not voice it. And criticism will bounce off him, since he does not need either condemnation or criticism. His self-esteem will not suffer from this.
He also has everything necessary for life, he has his own home, a job, he is well educated, he has all the necessary resources, including financial ones. He can support himself. Because this is an important condition for self-sufficiency.
Self-sufficient people do not cling to anyone and cope with any problems on their own. They can accept help if they want it. The difficulties of his previous life hardened him, he gained experience, sometimes sad.
The bitter lessons of life did not break him, but, on the contrary, tempered him and made him very strong. And this applies to both men and women. These people have their own life values, and thanks to them they simply became such independent and integral individuals in this life... that's what it's about!
Be near
Before starting a family, a self-sufficient man must make a decision, and he will not do this in a fit of passion. Understanding the importance of such a step, he will need enough time to comprehend everything. After all, he takes this issue very seriously.
If you manage to be together with a self-sufficient man, then be careful with manipulations. He will feel it faster than your insidious plan comes true. You need to talk to such a man, and not remain silent, hiding in different rooms. And if you constantly do this, then you will not have problems with it.
Resentment for several days is not the case. With a self-sufficient man, with the right sincere conversation, you can find a middle ground quickly enough and continue to live in harmony and prosperity. Or break up due to misunderstanding each other. This also happens in life. But what does it mean to break up with a self-sufficient man? He will not end up heaping bad words and insults on you. He will sincerely wish you happiness and good luck in your new life without him.
The concept of a self-sufficient woman (from psychologist Larisa Renard)
There is a different opinion regarding a woman’s self-sufficiency. Psychologist Larisa Renard’s opinion on a self-sufficient woman:
- This is "courage to be yourself"
My favorite thing confirms this fact. A woman is passionate about her work, she has her own interests in life, she devotes time to it. She has inspiration and good “girlish” excitement, lightness, and her own interest in life.
- This is a “full and vibrant life”
Being completely absorbed in household chores, lessons with children, cooking and endless TV series, a woman will not have time for the most important thing in her life, this is personal growth. After some time, the man loses interest in her. Therefore, a self-sufficient woman, according to Marilyn Atkinson’s rule, spends only 12 hours with a man, and devotes the rest of the time to her own affairs.
- This is a woman “groomed to the tips of her nails”
A common expression simply means a pleasant appearance, when there is a manicure, moderate makeup, good modern clothes, no frills, but men will not miss this woman, they will definitely pay attention to her. Usually, when you ask a man about such a woman, he answers “that she is all about it.”
- This is “wisdom and control over your emotions”
A self-sufficient woman, “everything in moderation”, she does not throw hysterics, but can solve any issue. She knows how to negotiate, explain, listen to other people’s opinions, but always do everything “well.” She has emotions, but with “beautiful emotions”, she is smart and has good humor. All her actions are clearly verified and precise.
- This is a "high quality woman"
She will never settle for the worst, she wants quality relationships. She gives her love and care to a man, and does not demand anything in return. And at the same time, she doesn’t get too hung up on occupying “his entire living space,” she has her own. She attracts with her “harmony”, pleasantness, inner and outer beauty so that men themselves want to be close to her and simply make her happy.
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Of course, she has flaws and weaknesses, but she takes it easy. And even loneliness does not make her unhappy; on the contrary, at this moment she is realizing some of her other ideas and plans. This is her lifestyle - don’t stand still!
Guys love with their eyes
The first thing that representatives of the stronger sex pay attention to when meeting a girl is her appearance. In a matter of seconds, their subconscious evaluates external data and compares them with the invented image of an ideal woman. It's no secret that gentlemen love with their eyes, so their chosen one should always look attractive, which means she should be well-groomed, dressed neatly, but with a hint of sexuality, with manicure and a beautiful hairstyle. The ideal woman - what is she like according to the male gaze?
- Cloth. Males often stare at girls in short skirts, but they will not allow their beloved to wear miniskirts in public places. The ideal of a woman through the eyes of a man is a neat outfit that emphasizes her advantages and hides the flaws of her figure.
- Face. An Indian on the warpath will only scare the guy away. Makeup should be discreet, almost invisible. It is worth emphasizing the beauty of the eyes and focusing on the lips - slightly plump and moist lips will not leave anyone indifferent. The ideal female face, according to men, does not have the right features; it must have some kind of zest.
- Hair. The male sex prefers girls with curls below average length. Their color should be natural and their smell pleasant. Do not fill the strands with varnish and create complex styling. Most often, a simple “teacher’s” bun or ponytail is much more popular with men.
- Figure. Here opinions are divided. Some consider the notorious 90-60-90 to be the standard of beauty, while others like ladies with curvy figures and a sexy tummy. In any case, the figure should be fit and the posture correct.
The attractiveness of a woman through the eyes of a man lies in the harmonious combination of external data and internal qualities.
How to become a self-sufficient woman
Self-sufficiency is a useful quality for a woman. With him, she will not become dependent on a relationship with a man. And even if the relationship doesn’t work out, she will always support herself even when alone, because she has such a quality as “self-love.”
A woman’s success and independence are also included in this understanding of “self-sufficiency.” But all this is not done in one day. This is something worth learning, how to “grow yourself.”
Emotional dependence is the main enemy
Where to start making these changes to learn to love yourself? The most important step is to overcome emotional dependence on all people: separation from parents, from men, from girlfriends, from work colleagues, from people around. Emotional dependence suggests that you are looking for approval, constant confirmation of love, admiration for your talents and skills.
Your support is your inner world, and no dislike from those around you should destroy it. But at the same time, you appreciate everyone in your life and always thank them for being present in your life, providing help and support.
But reduce unpleasant contacts to a minimum or eliminate them completely. They take away your vital energy and “pump you up” with negative emotions and irritation.
And yet, you should never compare yourself to anyone. You will always lose at something. You only need to compare yourself with yourself, only 3-5 years ago. And this is also an important moment of self-love.
Work and dialogue with yourself
You need to be able to conduct an absolutely honest dialogue with your “I”, not lie to yourself, and see your weaknesses and strengths. And never make life difficult for yourself. Always look for inspiration to fulfill your desires and then you will always have a feeling of flight and sparkle in your eyes.
Also recommended:
- Playing sports to maintain your appearance will increase self-confidence, and sports will also increase the amount of endorphin - the hormone of joy
- Find an interesting hobby that will keep you interested
- Read not only professional, but also fiction literature
- To find inner harmony, engage in art therapy and meditative practices
- Pursue spiritual growth
Adviсe
- It is necessary to constantly engage in self-development.
- To increase your self-esteem, you need to take care of your appearance, get your figure back to normal, go to a stylist, buy new clothes.
- Communicate more often with people who have achieved great success, minimize communication with losers.
- Constantly develop in yourself such qualities as confidence, determination, cheerfulness, independence, independence, discipline, determination and willpower.
- Praise yourself for all your achievements and believe in future successes.
- Set clear goals and always achieve them.
- Never boast of your victories to other people.
- Treat others with respect.
- Adequately assess your abilities and set goals that are achievable.
- Learn to control your emotions, no matter what the circumstances.
- If there are fears in life, learn to fight them, resist them.
- If you have bad habits, overcome them and lead a healthy lifestyle.
Types of self-sufficiency
The development of self-sufficiency includes the ability to realize any kind of self-sufficiency. In accordance with the aspects of human manifestations, there are also varieties of self-sufficiency.
Psychological
Most often, this side becomes the most obvious, since it also includes the ability to demonstrate other types of independence. The meaning of the word implies an internal lack of need to have others like you nearby. And this applies not only to independence from the opinions of others.
A psychologically self-sufficient person does not need to communicate with those who consider themselves or are the same. There are no organizations and associations, forums or trainings where self-sufficient people exchange opinions about others or their own experiences in achieving this state. The self-development of such a person is his personal matter.
Social
A person, even being psychologically independent, is forced to live in society. The peculiarity of the condition is that any rules are accepted simply, and one can adapt to any working or living conditions. If something does not suit you, then a person looks for rules that suit him, with which he is ready to agree.
Your own talents, skills and hobbies allow you to find the right niche in society: choose a job, arrange your life and start a family, if necessary.
Economic
Economic self-sufficiency most often means the ability to take care of the everyday side of life. This does not necessarily include the ability to do everything yourself: only the necessary basic skills are present (cooking, cleaning, housekeeping and earning a living).
For a self-sufficient person, the lack of plumbing skills, for example, may be a reason to acquire them, but it can also lead to calling a specialist from the housing office. The choice is influenced by the awareness of the need to do such work with your own hands or the lack thereof.
The other side of the coin
Confident people don't care what others think about them. They are already self-sufficient. However, everyone measures this characteristic differently. For example, a teacher who has the best class in the school, respect from colleagues and a high salary is professionally self-sufficient . Anyone who breeds and sells flowers also has this quality.
In addition, there is personal self-sufficiency . This could be a handsome young man who is financially independent and has achieved everything on his own. He has many fans, he constantly changes girls. Another option is a simple guy who is in love, happy and confident in his choice. Or a good family man who makes great money and loves his wife and children. Each of them has personal self-sufficiency.
