Feeling ashamed after drinking: what to do? Feeling of shame. Remorse. Psychological discomfort

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Many people feel shame after spending time drinking alcohol. Such a feeling can haunt a person, even if there are no special reasons and the behavior while intoxicated was more than worthy. This emotional reaction is called a “psychological hangover.” It's all about the ability of alcohol to reduce the brain's control over the body and mind, as a result of which a person can commit rash actions. Some experts believe that if a person is very ashamed after drinking, then this is a sure sign of the absence of alcoholism.

Why is there a problem?

A hangover after drinking the next day is a natural protective reaction of the body to the effects of residual products of alcohol processing, or rather, ethyl alcohol, which forms the basis of any alcoholic drink. When people drink in small quantities, alcohol is easily eliminated from the body without causing problematic symptoms.

It’s another matter when the amount of alcohol consumed is significant. In this case, ethanol decomposition products accumulate in the body: acetaldehyde, acetic and lactic acid. After vodka or any other alcohol consumed in large quantities, an acid-base imbalance (acidosis) develops, which causes a hangover. It is quite natural that in the morning after drinking, the following symptoms arise: headache, nausea, constant thirst and dry mouth, weakness, chills, cardiac arrhythmia, i.e. pronounced signs of general intoxication. If a person has certain problems with internal organs (in particular, gastritis or pancreatitis), then he feels unwell even after drinking a small amount of alcohol.

Tips for the guilty

To get rid of feelings of guilt, if a person is guilty, you need to determine the cause of shame. The reason is inappropriate behavior. Solving such a problem is much easier than a psychological reason.

1. The first and most necessary action is to admit your guilt. If you were unable to reconstruct the picture of events, then acknowledge everything that eyewitnesses say.
2. It is recommended to be open and ask for forgiveness from anyone you have hurt or offended. You should also explain to these people that you sincerely repent of your behavior and you are ashamed to look people in the eyes after everything that happened.
3. It is very important not only to receive forgiveness from all your victims, but also to receive it from yourself. You need to understand that anyone can be in your place, and the best thing to do is just laugh at your adventures with the rest.
4. Drawing conclusions is the main thing; without conclusions there is no point in feeling guilty or in all the apologies. The best thing to do next time is not to drink alcohol at all, or know your limit and stick to it to avoid uncomfortable situations.

How to drink alcohol

Is it possible to drink without a hangover? There are many folk and medical ways to solve the problem, but the first principle is: drink correctly and avoid aggravating factors. In order to avoid a hangover the day after drinking, you should follow simple recommendations:

1. Compliance with the norm. The amount of alcohol that does not cause painful symptoms the next day depends on the individual characteristics of the body. It is generally accepted that the average norm is 1 g of ethyl alcohol per 1 kg of body weight, i.e. translated into vodka - 25 ml per 10 kg of weight.
2. You should not sit down to the festive table without getting enough sleep beforehand, and you should not take your first glass hungry. Sleep and food are the most important principles of proper drinking.
3. Mixing alcoholic drinks increases the effects. Cocktails may have a special taste, but you shouldn’t consume them in large quantities if you don’t want to suffer in the morning. Moreover, you cannot alternate between different types of drinks (beer, wine, vodka, etc.).
4. It is important to choose what to drink correctly. It is better to choose transparent drinks. The best drink is good vodka. A person feels unwell if drinks contain fusel or essential oil, aldehydes, dyes and tannins. This means that special care should be taken when consuming moonshine, mash, and tinctures.
5. Eating correctly during a feast is an important principle for eliminating a hangover. The effect of alcohol is significantly weakened if you use flour products, potatoes, cereals, vegetable or butter as a snack. Fatty foods reduce the absorption of ethyl alcohol into the blood. Various sweets, sweet fruits, and carbonated drinks contribute to a future hangover.
6. Alcohol should be consumed slowly. The effect of alcohol begins no earlier than after 12-15 minutes, and therefore the break between glasses should be exactly like this.

Some people are also familiar with a radical way to get rid of a morning hangover, when for various reasons you will have to drink in significant quantities. The method involves artificially inducing vomiting after every 1-2 doses of alcohol.

An alcoholic feels guilty

“And no one wanted to be guilty without wine, And no one wanted to rake in the heat with their hands, And without music there is no death in the world, And without music you don’t want to be lost.”

Victor Tsoi

What a strange consonance - WINE and WINE?! Surprisingly, only in Russian (and some other Slavic languages) these two words differ by one letter and have such a consonance. And although I was not able to find evidence of the same origin of these words, the fact remains of a very close consonance. Perhaps this is an accident, but there is another example: “to drink bitter things” means to suffer from binge drinking. “Grief” means trouble, misfortune, melancholy.

What role does wine, grief, misfortune play in the life of an alcoholic and his loved ones? Let's try to sort this issue out in this article.

First, let's find out what commonality exists between guilt, grief and misfortune? It is important for us not from an ordinary point of view, but from a psychological point of view. Remember how you feel when you are under the influence of guilt, grief, misfortune? As a rule, you can get a universal answer: “fear, anxiety.” If you are accused of something, you feel anxiety and fear of possible consequences, fear of punishment.

When you are in a situation of “trouble, grief,” you often ask yourself: “why?” You feel like you have received some kind of punishment. But since you don’t understand why, there is therefore a fear that the punishment will continue or be repeated. This increases your anxiety even more. The general feature in this situation is the feeling of guilt, that is, the fear of punishment.

Thus, guilt, grief, melancholy, misfortune arise against the background of an obvious or hidden reason (accusation, aggression, accident). In general, they cause feelings of guilt. And, as stated above, guilt causes anxiety. Moreover, anxiety becomes undifferentiated, that is, not logically connected (or little connected) with the original situation.

Example: “The wife of an alcoholic who goes on a drinking binge experiences constant stress, because... can not

anticipate at what point an alcoholic breakdown will occur. How long will the binge last, will the spouse agree to use the hangover relief service at home, or will he unsuccessfully try to cope on his own for several days, thereby “exhausting” all her nerves.

A long search for a solution to this problem leads to the accumulation of feelings of guilt (why am I being punished for this?), which, through psychological defenses, is pushed into the unconscious sphere in the form of anxiety. The unconscious sphere makes anxiety formless or causeless. This can be imagined in the form of jewelry that is melted down. And suddenly the wife develops an obsessive desire for cleanliness and a fear of contracting any diseases, thus her anxiety came out of the unconscious sphere and transformed into something that can be controlled, unlike her husband’s binges.”

Of course, this example is not an isolated one and is just a variant, because the manifestations of anxiety can be very different, ranging from fear of forks and knives to, on the contrary, fearlessness - “he will enter a burning hut and stop a galloping horse.”

Let's look further at our example. What about the alcoholic himself? He must be heartless and cruel, since he cannot, even for the sake of his children and his beloved wife, stop and control himself, get tested for alcoholism by a specialist and live a full, happy life?

It must be said that I, as a narcologist and psychotherapist, do not believe in isolated chemical dependence on alcohol. I believe that alcohol addiction always develops against the background of some kind of condition. If we do not take into account illnesses, then the cause of alcoholism can be borderline or situational conditions: adaptation disorders, depressive situational states, accentuations of character and personality, neurasthenic disorders, psychotrauma, violence, socio-economic situation and much more.

Taken together, all these predisposing factors cause increased anxiety. A person uses different ways to reduce anxiety. Ideally, a person should experience an alarming situation and accept it - this is the most accurate and physiological way. However, there are options that relieve or reduce anxiety quickly and effectively, but for a certain time.

K. Horney in the book “The Neurotic Personality of Our Time” points to four methods: rationalization, denial, avoidance and narcotization. All these methods have one thing in common: avoiding responsibility, avoiding the real causes of anxiety. And if a person begins to increasingly use alcoholism, then accordingly he will turn less and less to the real causes of anxiety and increasingly lose responsibility for reality. Ultimately, a person loses responsibility for himself.

Let me clarify: Responsibility is the accepted blame for something that causes anxiety. “I am responsible for my sick mother - this is my duty,” “I must study well,” “I approach my work responsibly,” “I am responsible for my family.” That is, a person does not perceive responsibility as a punishment for something: a sick mother who requires care, study, work, for his family, for himself. If he sincerely accepts this as a duty and responsibility, humility, then his feelings of guilt and anxiety are minimal.

If a person is burdened by the fact that he had to care for his sick mother, and he does this out of selfish motives or fear of censure by society, then this person will experience anxiety. If a person works in a place where he is not interested, this work does not satisfy his needs, and he is forced to do it, then such a person will also experience anxiety. If caring for the family is perceived as a forced duty, then this will also be a source of anxiety.

An alcoholic husband was not always an alcoholic. There was a time when this man did not drink alcohol at all. But like 95% of the population, he could try alcohol at least once. And, perhaps, at some point he began to use alcohol to relieve anxiety (stress, fatigue, stiffness, emotional constriction, etc.). Under unfavorable circumstances, he gradually became addicted to the use of such a drug and already requires treatment for alcoholism in a specialized clinic.

You might say, “This is all too clever! They drink to get drunk and they don’t give a damn. And you get to the point - the ultimate goal is to get drunk and dissolve your “I”. And the “I” personality is formed by responsibility, and as a result, with the destruction of the “I,” guilt and anxiety go away for a time.

A person who has not developed an addiction can also use alcohol to reduce feelings of anxiety, but when he sobers up, he will accept reality as his responsibility. A dependent person will increasingly be content with the temporary effect of intoxication and, to a lesser extent, will accept reality as his responsibility.

Over time, the circle closes. The main symptoms of alcoholism are loss of quantitative and situational control, signaling a partial loss of control over the personality of the “I”. Do you think an alcoholic feels guilty after drinking? YES! Moreover, an alcoholic sometimes deliberately strengthens it, provoking relatives into a scandal, or taking other actions towards “self-flagellation.” But the feeling of guilt as a tool of self-control does not work for him in this case. Because the process of transforming feelings of guilt into responsibility is disrupted.

Otherwise, if we admit that the drinking was started because he consciously made such a decision, it would mean accepting the responsibility of the “I” for this, admitting the unwillingness to cope with problems in reality, admitting the presence of painful problems. This is too painful for the “I” and causes even more anxiety. When experiencing a feeling of guilt after drinking, a person, of course, is aware of all of the above (problems, consequences). This is intensified by hangover symptoms, swearing and insults from loved ones. A person brings himself to the extreme point of anxiety and guilt. The path to accepting responsibility is closed; the only option left is to defend ourselves.”

Protection options can be used together or individually to varying degrees:

- first, blame the drinking on illness (I’m an alcoholic, I have cravings), on circumstances (friends invited me, a holiday, etc.), that is, I myself am not responsible for the drinking;

- second - to dissolve in masochistic pleasure from the destruction of one’s “I” by the overwhelming feeling of guilt. “How bad I am! What a scoundrel I am! I am a bad husband, father! I'm not capable of anything! I failed again!” It must be said that by reproaching oneself to the extreme, a person feels the same intoxicating and analgesic effect as from alcohol;

- third - continue drinking, killing the feeling of guilt along with you;

- fourth - to return to a normal way of life and, as it were, to sobriety, but with a more sacrificial attitude towards work and family.

To make amends, words of repentance may be heard, attempts to earn money intensively, work without days off or vacations (women often fall into overprotection of children, cleaning the home). At the same time, there is also suppression of one’s self. Because in order to make amends, a person sacrifices his basic needs (rest, hobbies, love, food, sex, even giving up alcohol is also a sacrifice).

All these options are flawed in one way - there is no solution to real painful problems, which are the causes of feelings of guilt and anxiety. They lead only to a temporary effect due to the murder of one’s “I”.

Alcoholic triangle:

1. Unaccepted reality causes anxiety and, as a result, the desire to drink to relieve it.
2. The consequences of drinking lead to the return of anxiety (hangover, problems in the family, at work), increased anxiety, awareness of guilt and due to external influences (relatives, circumstances, etc.).
3. Protection in one or more ways. Temporary sobriety and even a long period are possible. This period may look like well-being and recovery. But it actually leads to the first period. Because reality for a person has not changed and continues to be a source of anxiety and guilt.

In conclusion, I would like to conclude: guilt plays a decisive role in the formation of addiction. An alcoholic feels guilty, but cannot transform it into responsibility. Moreover, an alcoholic experiences a reverse transformation: responsibility into a sense of guilt. Excessive feelings of guilt lead to an increasing disappearance of responsibility and, as a consequence, to deformation and destruction of the personality. Practical conclusion. Too obvious directive influence on an alcoholic by relatives, doctors and other sympathetic (codependent) persons leads to increased guilt and blurring of responsibility between the alcoholic and the person helping him. Directive assistance should be used minimally and in doses, as a kind of “temporary prosthesis” for the personality of an alcoholic. An alcoholic must learn to accept reality, and this is possible if two parallel conditions are met. The first is spiritual personal growth. The second is to open the way to forgiveness. Because forgiveness transforms guilt into responsibility, breaks the alcoholic’s triangle and opens the way to personal growth.

Narcologist, psychotherapist S.V. Kachusov

How to prepare in advance

If a “cool” feast is planned in advance, then before drinking you can do certain procedures so that you don’t have a bad hangover. The following methods are popular:

1. Activated carbon. Before drinking, it is enough to take 3-4 tablets of such an adsorbent, and the process of absorption of alcohol into the blood will slow down significantly. During the feast, it is better to take an additional 1-2 tablets.
2. Use of ready-made products. Common remedies are Omega-3 and Omega-6, which are enriched with fats and reduce the formation of acetaldehyde - the main culprit of hangover syndrome.
3. Vitamin and mineral compositions. You can speed up the processing of ethyl alcohol if you take B vitamins before drinking alcohol. Pre-administration of iodine has a positive effect. This substance can be increased by eating seafood, especially seaweed.
4. Vegetable oil. It has long been noted that oil forms a protective film, blocking the absorption of alcohol. The best effect is achieved when taking 1 tbsp. olive oil before drinking alcohol. Instead of butter, you can try milk to get rid of a hangover.

What to do if a person is guilty

Special attention should be paid to the situation when a person actually has a certain degree of guilt towards friends and colleagues with whom he drank. Psychologists note that when there is a serious situation in memory that can be used as a starting point for self-analysis, then this is already very good.

At the moment when a person begins to realize the extent of what he has done, he must ask himself for forgiveness for the act, saying mentally: “I forgive myself for everything I said and did yesterday.” The main factor in this case is unauthorized forgiveness, therefore the indicated or any other phrase close to it must be repeated until the feeling of shame begins to fade.

Psychologists say that admitting your own guilt is another step towards forgiving yourself. It is important to accept that this situation can happen to anyone, and anyone has every right to make a mistake. After all, only those who do nothing make mistakes.

The practice of psychologists shows that you can get rid of the feeling of shame using some other methods, depending on the situation. Let us consider them further in more detail.

Some specific recommendations

The “severe” symptoms of a morning hangover can be avoided by helping the thyroid gland produce the necessary hormones and the liver in disposing of toxins.

What can be done in advance in this direction? The following specific recommendations are offered:

1. Consumption of iodine-containing products. To activate the functions of the thyroid gland, it is best to take such measures 2 days before the expected large feast, because This is exactly the period needed to enhance the production of hormones. Feijoa (8-9 pieces), sea shellfish and shrimp in the amount of 220-250 g, canned seaweed (1 can) will help with this. It is possible to use dietary supplements. The approximate dose of iodine is 11-13 mcg per kilogram of human body weight.

2. Choleretic agents. They are recommended to be taken in the morning of the planned party. You can use pharmacy choleretic collection No. 2 (1 tablespoon per 250 ml of water), Liv-52 (1 tablet), rose hip syrup (50 ml), corn silk (30 g per 250 ml of water). This method will help the liver process alcohol.
3. Taking aspirin. It is better to use it 1 day before the feast in a dose of 0.4-0.6 g. This technique is used before drinking. It is not recommended to use aspirin at the same time as alcohol.
4. Cleanse the intestines 8-10 hours before the feast. As a rule, non-toxic type laxatives are taken. You can recommend Senna and Sorbitol.
5. Vitamin complexes. It is recommended to take Pyridoxine 10-11 and 3-4 hours before the feast. Preparations with B vitamins are also suitable: Neurogamma, Pitsian, Neuromultivit. The normal dose is 5 mg of the active substance.
6. In order to prepare the gastrointestinal system, enzymes necessary for digestion are recommended: Mezim-forte, Abomin, Wobenzym, Creon, Unienzyme. Such drugs are taken 30-45 minutes before the start of the feast. Festal should not be used.
7. Succinic acid. The addition of such an active substance helps to activate metabolic processes, and therefore the metabolism of ethanol. It is recommended to take 45-50 minutes before drinking alcohol.
8. Glutargin. This glutamic acid-based drug helps the liver process alcohol faster. Sold in the form of tablets and powder (Alcoclean). Taken in a dose of 1.5-2 g 1.5-2.5 hours before the start of the party.

How to get rid of this feeling?

How to survive such a state? What can be done to reduce these unpleasant experiences? Wine after drinking is the same manifestation of a hangover as a headache or thirst. In this case, you should deal with this feeling in the same way as with a hangover. It is possible to get rid of feelings of guilt only if it is caused by alcohol intoxication, and not by real events.

When dealing with a hangover, it is necessary to detoxify the body. For this purpose, you need to drink a lot of fluid. Non-carbonated mineral water, freshly squeezed fruit juices, unpasteurized kvass, weak tea with lemon, herbal infusions, and fermented milk drinks are suitable. Strong tea and coffee cannot be used for these purposes. The caffeine and tannin they contain will lead to stimulation and will only worsen the situation. Enterosorbents will help cleanse the stomach and intestines of accumulated toxins in the body.

You can restore glucose levels and water-salt balance with a balanced diet. If you have a hangover, it should not contain fatty, spicy, or fried foods, so that the liver does not receive additional stress. In this case, preference should be given to soups cooked in chicken or beef broth, oatmeal with honey, vegetables and fruits. Sports nutrition and drinks can also quickly normalize electrolyte levels.

Toxins are eliminated not only by the kidneys and lungs, but also by the sweat glands. Therefore, you can take a contrast shower, a non-hot bath with sea salt, or go to a bathhouse or sauna. Walking in the fresh air has a good effect. Breathing exercises or simple physical exercises also have a positive effect on the body. In this case, the process of eliminating alcohol metabolites will be significantly accelerated.

Drug treatment of hangover syndrome will significantly speed up the elimination of toxins, help cope with headaches, and restore the acid-base balance. Glycine, contained in some of these drugs, will help restore the nervous system, milk thistle will restore liver function, and succinic acid will restore metabolism. Examples of such drugs are:

• "Alkozeltzer."
• "Alco-Prim."
• "Alco-Buffer".
• "Buffalo".
• "Medichronal".

All this will help neutralize the adverse effects of ethanol on the body and remove the root cause of the painful feeling of guilt. Active activities to improve the health of the body will distract from the unpleasant feeling in the soul.

What can you do after the feast?

Certain measures can be taken after active consumption of alcohol, if the feast was taken by surprise and it was not possible to carry out preliminary measures. In this case, immediately after the guests leave, the following measures should be taken:

• induce artificial vomiting;
• take a contrast shower, cold water will help eliminate severe intoxication;
• take vitamin and mineral supplements to normalize electrolyte metabolism;
• take adsorbents to neutralize toxins (the most common remedy is activated carbon);
• take aspirin to normalize blood circulation;
• ensure proper sleep.

A hangover is very exhausting for a person, and it’s really bad if you also have to go to work. There are many ways to avoid a hangover, but the best way is to learn how to drink properly without causing unnecessary problems the next day.

About the subjective causes of shame

What feeling of shame after drinking is considered subjective?

Psychologists note that certain personal factors are reasons that were invented by the person himself. So, for example, a situation may occur in which a drunk girl (or guy) says insulting words to another person or throws out a caustic phrase that hurts his self-esteem. In this case, suspiciousness may arise, as a result of which feelings of shame, anxiety and guilt develop.

In such a situation, it is worth noting the presence of two inseparable categories: the subjective representation of a drunken face and reality. As for the first, this is only his opinion about whether he caused any harm to another person, and the reality in this situation is the very fact of the words spoken. If we describe this situation from the other side, then a person does not know and cannot know whether the expressions he said offended his opponent - he thinks up the situation of the offense on his own, and his fantasies, as a rule, are in no way interconnected with the things that actually happen. In fact, the resulting feeling of anxiety and guilt in this case is far-fetched, and, according to psychologists, its reasons actually lie much deeper than in a simple table situation.

Gastric lavage and drip

Do you feel bad after drinking? How to move away from this state immediately after the event, without waiting for the morning? It is necessary to do gastric lavage. Vomiting is far from the only scenario. Sometimes an enema is a more effective method of gastric lavage. It is usually done in extreme cases.

You can also call an ambulance and ask them to “drip” themselves. Droppers are great for hangovers. But they are installed exclusively in hospitals. In general, in case of alcohol intoxication, the most logical way to solve the problem is to seek medical help. In the hospital, you will definitely be given activated charcoal, and all procedures will be carried out just to alleviate the patient’s condition.

More fluid

The first thing that can be advised is to drink as much water as possible. Or any other drink, just non-alcoholic. Feeling bad after drinking? What to drink to relieve the condition? You must decide this yourself. The main thing is that there is no alcohol in the drink. It is advisable to limit yourself to tea, water or juice.

Remember: the more non-alcoholic products you take, the better. It is recommended to drink at least 1 liter of water. And you will feel better. And if you do another procedure, you will just be left with an unpleasant sensation and a hangover. But the general condition will improve significantly.

Lemon to the rescue

In general, you can hear as much advice as you like. But we will focus only on the best and most effective. Did you feel sick after drinking? What to do? Try drinking one very interesting mixture. Just keep in mind that you should not induce vomiting after it, otherwise there will be no result.

First, find one lemon. Now squeeze the juice out of it into a glass and dilute it with water so that you get 250 milliliters of liquid. Next, the resulting drink must be drunk. Don't add sugar. If you don't have lemon, you can add citric acid to boiled water. The previously indicated volume will require about 1.5-2 teaspoons of the ingredient.

Drugs

• Aspirin
• Zorex
• Anti-hangover
• Activated carbon
• Classic brine and pickles

Anti-hangover

The drug contains succinic acid, vitamin C, glutamine, and other beneficial substances that help cope with a hangover. Taking the medicine prevents vascular spasms, speeds up metabolism, and blocks the effect of alcohol breakdown products. Helps cleanse the body, increases overall tone, improves brain function. Simply dissolve the tablet in a glass of warm water.

Aspirin

The popular analgesic is a good helper in the fight against alcohol syndrome. Relieves headaches and improves well-being. It is better to take it in soluble form. It is recommended to drink no earlier than eight hours after drinking alcohol.

Activated carbon

It is advisable to take both before and after drinking alcohol. Promotes rapid removal of toxins from the body. Prevents rapid intoxication. Can be bought at any pharmacy. Activated carbon is sold in white and black tablets. White tablets of activated carbon are more effective.

Thyme tincture

Thyme tincture is brewed like regular tea. Reduces cravings for alcohol, normalizes intestinal function, and reduces headaches. Thanks to its beneficial substances, the plant has long been recommended for drinking by people who have a craving for drinking alcohol.

A small dose of a high-quality alcoholic drink lifts your spirits, helps you communicate and have a good time. But if you don’t know what to do, it’s better not to drink. Drinking is harmful to health. The culture of drinking alcoholic beverages has existed for a long time. There is no need to experiment with your health. Follow simple rules, and you won't have a hangover.