Loneliness: scientists have named 9 health factors that it affects

It's easy to see how loneliness affects a person. When you are loved, realized, surrounded by friends, like-minded people, family - you are happy. When you are lonely and feel bad, what do you have inside of you? Anger, envy, deceit, hatred, hysterics, tears, fears, resentments, depression, suicidal thoughts. We go to psychologists, cry to a few girlfriends, friends, if they are still left, write on forums, change our appearance and lifestyle, place of residence, work, and loneliness follows us around like an attached one, looks out from our eyes, captures the soul, devastates her from the light.

And we again run from him in a circle, drowning our pain in alcohol, drugs, restless sleep, promiscuous relationships, in hatred of each other. There are millions of us, we could be a happy human flock, but we prefer to be afraid, hate, withdraw into ourselves, go crazy in despair, demand love and attention. And we remain alone in our troubles, difficulties, problems. But everything, it turns out, could be different.

Freedom of action and decision

No daily reporting obligations. When making a plan, be it a plan for the day, the year or the next weekend, there is no need to warn or coordinate your actions. Listen to opinions and take into account someone else’s (not your own!) desires and needs, make compromises and push down your feelings, so as not to look like a selfish or lazy person. Spend the evening with a glass of wine and a good movie?

Please. Unexpectedly meet friends at the cinema, bar or club? Easily! It all depends on your own mood and desire, no need to explain or ask for time off. There is no need to sit with friends and constantly look at the clock in order to have time to relax at a strictly allotted time. And then also report on what happened and how and why they were late.

Signs of this condition

To help a person cope with loneliness, you need to be able to identify its signs.

Lonely people are not isolated from others at all. Those around them may well notice their condition and try to help. However, before you try to save someone from loneliness, you need to make sure that the person really needs help. This is not easy to do. Lonely people often suppress this feeling and try in every possible way to hide it from others.

Their demeanor and “body language” give it away. The following speaks about loneliness:

• drooping shoulders, stooping, shuffling gait - as a rule, older people very clearly demonstrate these features;
• the manner of constantly crossing your arms on your chest, thereby fencing yourself off from others;
• excessive ingratiation, importunity, desire to please, to be needed and in demand;
• inattention to clothing or, conversely, bright, flashy and provocative outfits;
• the desire to give advice and “teach” others.

Lonely people often react with hostility to questions about their personal or family life, hobbies, and leisure habits. Or, on the contrary, they try to create the illusion that their life is unusually exciting.

How can you help without encountering violent resistance and without feeling like a “rapist”? There is no single recipe or template, following which you can pull someone out of the abyss of loneliness. To begin with, you should communicate more with the person in need of help and pay attention to him. Sometimes this is enough for loneliness to begin to lose ground. The further course of action will become clear during the communication process. But when trying to help someone, we must not forget about sincerity. You can’t pretend to be someone’s friend and force yourself to communicate with someone who evokes negative emotions.

To be or not to be?2

Routine and tedious household tasks such as taking out the trash, washing dishes and cleaning the home are perceived as taking care of oneself. I want to live in cleanliness and order. Do it for yourself when it's convenient. Also, do without caustic remarks and malicious comments: “it’s not clear that they were vacuumed,” “the corners are not covered,” “one cup takes two hours to wash.” If the salary allows (and most often it allows for bachelors), call a cleaning service to your home, and the issue is closed.

There are no other problems of general everyday existence. There is no “queuing” for the bathroom, no time limit for visiting the restroom. “Fights” for the evening viewing of a television show, series or football are excluded - the TV is always free, as is the computer. The unsaved computer game remains at the same level, the favorite cup remains in its place.

How nice it is to come home after a hard day at work, order pizza and treat yourself to a hot bubble bath while turning on your favorite music. And after the heady procedure, lie down on the cool sheets of your own bed in your underwear or negligee.

Family budget for one3

This point should be indicated by the capital number 1. Earning your own income, independently distributing your budget, spending and saving money for your own desires and plans is definitely a big plus in being alone. Yes, there is one source of income, but there is also one expense.

Utility payments are regulated without annoying nervousness, no one pours more water than desired, or the lights are turned on only when rarely needed. You can spontaneously spend more than usual on something you suddenly like - return to point 1: no need to report or justify yourself. It’s easy to find an additional source of income when things don’t distract you from your relationships and household.

In addition, bachelors try not to go into debt. They don’t take out cars on credit because they need time to get their children to school and kindergarten before work. They don’t take out a mortgage because the family needs shelter. A person who belongs only to himself does not disdain rented apartments. His budget allows him to rent decent shelter for a long period. At this time, he himself will spend time and energy to buy the apartment (or house) of his dreams. He is not bound by urgency. He goes towards his goal clearly.

Dream 5

The sleep mode is set to your own. A lark or an owl, with music or in complete darkness, in bed or on the sofa, with an open window or under a blanket, in pajamas or naked, with all four limbs spread out, snoring at the top of his lungs, without fear of waking anyone up. Freedom and comfort are the key to healthy and sound sleep. In addition, there is no fuss and running around when getting ready in the morning. A calm breakfast in the morning silence - what could be more beautiful?!

How to fight

Many people eventually come to terms with their loneliness and don’t even try to do anything about it. It is worth noting that this is a dead-end option that does not allow changing the situation. How to get rid of this condition? It is necessary to overcome the feeling of loneliness - at least in order to maintain faith in the existing prospects. You just need to do this gently and gradually. There are quite effective ways available to everyone.

Charity

Charity activities incredibly elevate us above the gray everyday reality. When we give the world something good, kind, bright, then, without a doubt, we feel the enduring meaning in everything. The feeling of loneliness will pass if you strive to be useful to others. People sometimes don’t understand that they can actually manage their condition on their own. There is no need to endlessly complain about life when you yourself can try to feel your need in the present moment.

Hobby or passion

When thinking about how to overcome loneliness, it is useful to remember your hobbies. A favorite activity helps a lot in moments of despair. You won’t even notice how your mood will lift, and all anxious thoughts will be left far behind. Having any hobby, a person can count on internal transformation and inspiration. By putting your soul into something, you can feel at the top of your position.

Physical activity

It has been proven that the more we move, the fewer negative thoughts come to mind. This phenomenon is understandable, since our feelings are closely related to our physical state. If you want to achieve inner balance, then start moving regularly. It is not at all necessary to exercise intensively every day. Sometimes it is enough to take an evening walk to improve your mood and put your thoughts in order. This is why you should never forget about physical activity. It is useful to ride a bike, go to the forest to breathe fresh air.

Personal achievements

Nothing invigorates a person more than success in a personal matter. Only then does a person begin to feel fully fulfilled and worthy of all benefits. Tormented by the thought of how to deal with loneliness and what to do with despair, it is necessary to strive for self-realization. You need to start small. Try new activities. There is no need to be afraid of another defeat. After all, only then will you know the true price of victory. If you have some small achievements, it will be much easier to move towards more impressive results. Intensive growth of self-esteem will partially cover the unpleasant feeling of restlessness. You just need to not sit in one place, but act. The more passionately you start acting, the greater the results you will achieve.

Thus, the feeling of loneliness really prevents a person from enjoying life and fully feeling their importance. Many people begin to feel that they are not capable of anything and are not good for anything. Of course, you need to work with this condition, look at it from different angles, and try to change something. When thinking about how to survive loneliness, you need to be ready to constantly change. If you have such a problem, we strongly advise you to seek help from psychologist Irakli Pozharisky. Working with a specialist will help you determine your life values ​​and outline worthy ways out of the crisis.

Career 6

It depends on the desires and vision of your place. Successfully realize yourself as a professional? Please! There is an opportunity to work until you sweat, stay at work for a long time, attend advanced training courses and get a second higher education - there is no rush. A person is devoted to himself and the realization of his goals. No need to run to kindergarten or prepare dinner in a hurry.

There are no worries that the other half is left without attention. No matter how sad it may be, when starting a family, a person gives up a successful career. This is a forced restriction for the sake of family happiness. Man is the master of his life. And he must decide for himself - giving up his career for the sake of his family. Or postponing family plans for a while in order to achieve prepared goals.

Loneliness creates space for development

We are all interconnected in many ways, but sometimes we need to find space to allow ourselves to grow. Many of us have responsibilities as friends, partners, parents, sons and daughters, but these responsibilities can limit us.

Fitting ourselves into the expectations of the people around us makes us less able to truly figure out where our limits, limits, boundaries are. Social dynamics consume a lot of energy and attention, growth and development also require intense energy and focus to propel us towards new frontiers.

Personal space7

Living alone means being protected from invasion of personal space in your home. Someone is constantly intruding into a person’s personal space: at work, colleagues try to force friendship, management periodically harasses, there is a crush in transport or in public places, an annoying neighbor or colleague always wants to get into one’s own car. At home, a man is his own king - close the door and rule! He wants communication - he invited a guest, his soul wants peace - he turned off the phone, closed the door, and hello, silence.

Independent, not tied down 8

Another delicate point is to live alone - not to have attachment and dependence on another. Love is beautiful and necessary for a person. But often love is broken by everyday life and hard everyday life, but obligations remain and begin to dominate desires and feelings. People spend their time and nerve cells not on life itself, but on creating the appearance of harmony and mutual understanding between cohabitants.

As a result, this is not life, but an imitation of worrying about other people’s health and work problems. The person tries to look caring and attentive. And he forgets about himself. After all, he also came home tired from work and doesn’t want to walk the dog. He wants to take off his shoes where they always took off before the second one arrived in this house. He is not obliged to remember memorable dates that are not for him, and listen to about the work and gossip of people unknown to him.

On weekends, you just want to sleep, and not arrange family outings to visit relatives. Love is beautiful, but let it live in its home, bringing warmth to hearts and joy to souls, leaving space for the flight of thoughts and a free sofa for mortal bodies.

Who said that living alone is boring and dreary? They are wrong. It’s boring in a company of people without like-minded people, it’s boring in a society without talented and progressive individuals. It’s cold from the presence of dodgy and vile characters. I am afraid of manifestations of envy and malice. If living alone is a voluntary and conscious choice, then this is life without compromises or psychological pressure. This is a world of open possibilities.

Solitude allows us to focus

How often do you feel like life is living you instead of you living life? In the fast-paced society we live in, we often feel like our lives are controlled by schedules, obligations and demands.

In conversations with other people, we touch on various topics superficially, without allowing ourselves to be completely immersed in just one of them. Solitude provides a strong center, an inner core that allows you to feel centered instead of being dragged along by various social stimuli.