Male loneliness: is it possible for a man to live alone?

Anyone can get rid of loneliness, but this requires some effort. This unpleasant condition is familiar to many. Even those who live in a large family or are in a love relationship can feel lonely. Usually the condition occurs in response to negative influences from others. However, in some cases, an unpleasant sensation haunts a person for years, sometimes even for no apparent reason. Experts call this condition pathological, and to overcome it they offer special methods.

Why men's loneliness is perceived differently

Over the past 50 years, global changes have occurred in the worldview and consciousness of people. People's values ​​and priorities have changed dramatically.

In Soviet times, people believed:

• A man in a family is a support, a stone wall.
• A woman should be “behind her husband.” This meant: to be meek, quiet. The man was in charge in everything, and a woman’s strength lay in her weakness.
• Family is the most important thing in life. Destroying a family is the same as leaving your father's house. Marriage was considered sacred, and no matter how people quarreled, they made peace, gave in and saved the family.

Today everything has changed:

• The husband is a burden in the family. He is either a tyrant or a rag, henpecked. Neither one nor the other suits the lady.
• Women received equality. But in fact, they already occupy a dominant position in the relationship. Men have no choice but to submit to social pressure. At the same time, ladies want to see princes and heroes next to them. They take upon themselves the rights of gentlemen and want to leave only responsibilities to men.
• The family turned into cohabitation. Marriage is seen as an experiment. You can always get a divorce. It even became fashionable. Divorce statistics in 2020 say: 83 out of 100 couples break up. Children live in single-parent families. The institution of family collapsed.

There are three types of perception of a lonely man in society.

• “He’s a mama’s boy, dependent, childish.”
• “He has already been divorced twice, he cannot be tolerated in a marriage. He doesn’t respect his wife and doesn’t make enough money.”
• “He doesn’t need marriage, he only loves himself. He needs women only to satisfy basic needs.”

Even women exhausted by loneliness do not want such men as husbands. And with such stereotypes, how can a man overcome loneliness?

Is it bad?

There is no clear answer to the question of whether a man can live alone. Of course, anyone is capable of living alone, but this will have a negative impact on their mental health. People need to communicate, enter into communications and build some kind of connections with each other. If this does not happen, then the person moves away from everything worldly and loses the ability to communicate. He becomes more closed and withdraws into himself. This may result in severe depression or the individual simply avoiding all contact.

A man's life alone: ​​an accident or a pattern

Understanding the reasons for male loneliness, one cannot blame women for everything. After all, all three of the above types of single representatives of the stronger sex really do occur.

Loneliness of men: possible reasons

• Reluctance of the stronger sex to marry due to existing stereotypes. “Marriage is a cage,” “married means henpecked.” It's more convenient to live alone. Calm and financially profitable.
• The presence among the male population of individuals “poisoned” by Western influence. After watching enough films, boys (you can’t call them men) imagine themselves to be some kind of Casanova. Existing term: pick-up artist. They seduce women to gain sexual intimacy. They keep lists of victories and are proud of the fact that they live to satisfy their needs, like animals. Meanwhile, women who have encountered such men several times withdraw into themselves and give up the idea of ​​marriage. Proud, beautiful, wounded.
• Financial instability has a dual effect on the tendency toward male loneliness. Many girls under 30 are looking for a rich and handsome guy who will provide, shower them with flowers and gifts. Their greed gives rise to the opinion among men that all women only want money. The other side is that normal guys cannot earn money for an apartment and a car. Working for 15,000 a month, it is impossible to find money to start a family. If such a guy meets a good, non-mercantile girl, their love will quickly break down in everyday life. The main reason for divorce is financial instability. How to build a family if the husband is forced to work shifts in Moscow and see his family once a month? What kind of family is this?
• Family has ceased to be a value. Western films contribute to this. This is what happens if you introduce democracy and equality to Russia, with its “primitive” morals. Each subsequent generation values ​​marriage less and less. Children grow up without fathers, and sometimes without mothers.

Be kind to yourself

When we are depressed, self-flagellation will not help. But unfortunately, we all do this without wanting to. For example, we made a costly mistake at work, or we quarreled with a partner or friend and now we don’t talk to him. Or maybe we have too many expenses, and there is nowhere to get money from. Instead of discussing with someone everything that bothers us, we accumulate it inside ourselves. And as a result, we feel incredibly lonely.

When we feel bad, it is important to take care of ourselves. In fact, we often forget about this because of more pressing issues. As a result, we don’t get enough sleep, eat poorly, don’t exercise, and overload ourselves. It's time to “reboot” and restore the lost balance and feel better physically. Go to the park, take a bath, read a book in your favorite cafe.

How a man can prepare himself for changes in life

The loneliness of men is associated with their psychological mood. The problem exists, and it is very acute today. But there are still 70% of single women in the world. About 50% of them are representatives of the fair sex from 18 to 40 years old.

Interesting fact! It would be a misconception to say that there are more women than men. According to statistics, more boys are born than girls. There is no war in the country now, but the high mortality rate among men is changing the situation. Already at the age of 25-30 the number of men and women becomes equal, and by the age of 50 there are more women. This is due to the poor health of men, their reckless passion for alcohol, smoking and drugs. Many men are extreme sportsmen. Girls are naturally stronger in health, because they are future mothers.

How a man can get rid of loneliness and tune himself to love

• Stop thinking that all women are stupid and materialistic. This is wrong. Many women want to have an ordinary family, give care, and raise children.
• Stop considering yourself unworthy of love and worrying. If you are ready to fulfill your responsibilities as a man, to be faithful, caring, you are already an enviable candidate.
• Avoid forced dating on the Internet. Most of them don't end well. You need to look for love on your own: meet people on the street, meet friends, expand your social circle.
• We need to get rid of complexes. All concepts of beauty and wealth are subjective. Love yourself, feel worthy. It's not what you look like, but what's inside of you that matters. Remember one simple truth: those around you subconsciously feel how you value yourself and treat you accordingly. Learn to love and respect yourself and you will become attractive.
• Don't rush things. A man who, on the first date, voices what he would like to name his third child is alarming.

And further! If you offer a good, chaste girl sex on the third date, you can scare her away. American standards do not work in Russia. Here it was customary for women to be married off as virgins. Wait for the signal and don't push.

New acquaintances

To combat the problem you need to make drastic changes, and in case of loneliness, by making new acquaintances. There are several ways to take the initiative to communicate:

• A man needs to get out of his own shell by establishing relationships with society. Interpersonal communication will not replace the Internet and information technology.
• You shouldn’t wait for an invitation, you need to call all your friends and acquaintances, colleagues and classmates, and turn to them more often for advice and help. Those who respond can enter the social circle; a man just needs to invite them to a cafe or home for tea, arranging friendly gatherings.
• If a man likes a girl, he shouldn’t be afraid to take the initiative. Even if the attempts remain unsuccessful, they should be treated without undue self-criticism, since the man will gain invaluable experience that will help him in future attempts to meet.
• You should not expect that friendship will begin immediately after the first communication. Any relationship is a complex and time-consuming process that is built on rapprochement and close communication.

The most pleasant and useful way to combat loneliness is to have a pet. Whether it’s a kitten or a puppy, a four-legged companion will teach a man to responsibility, care, contacts and communication, and spending time together. In addition, a pet, according to psychologists, is an excellent source of positive emotions and joy, that is, an antidepressant.

Reasons for male loneliness

Summarizing all of the above, we can highlight the main reasons.

1. Wrong attitude of men towards women.
2. Wrong attitude of women towards men.
3. Inability to feed and provide for a family.
4. Men's indecisiveness, fears and doubts.
5. Life away from the city. This factor has a great influence: 30% of the Russian population lives in villages and villages. And there is no one to meet there.
6. Distorted attitude towards women and marriage.

How can a man cope with loneliness in our time? There is no need to humble yourself. Men, not all women are mercantile, not all will cheat. And marriage is the only way to be happy. And it is not the appearance of your partner that is important, but how suitable she is for you.

Sometimes you need to get out of the villages into the city, just to communicate. All these problems can be overcome. And if a man decides to get married, he has already done half the job. It all depends on the inner mood.

Common Mistakes

The most serious mistake is to blame others for everything without noticing your own shortcomings. A person is often lonely because he has annoyed others or did not let them into his life. A synonym for loneliness is isolation. It is absolutely not necessary to pour out your soul to everyone, but there should be at least one person to whom you can tell about your fears, worries, and receive support.

Loneliness gets worse with age. Elderly people feel unwanted, abandoned, betrayed. In some cases, mental disorders, paranoid states, and psychoses appear. Young people who have complexes cannot build relationships and find themselves in a vicious circle because they constantly make the same mistakes. We need to fight loneliness! Otherwise, life loses its meaning, becomes gray and dull.

Ways to combat male loneliness

How can a man survive loneliness if life seems incomplete without a loving person next to him? That's right - no way. Loneliness can and should be fought. Firstly, you need to fill your free time with useful and enjoyable things. You can get into the habit of going to the cinema, running in the park. Visiting a gym or indoor skating rink is not only a great way to eliminate feelings of loneliness, but also an opportunity to meet new people.

The second point is the realization that there are no halves. The theory that your date is walking around somewhere is invented by hopeless romantics. But in reality, families in Russia were built like this: parents agreed among themselves, and the children got married, had children and lived together all their lives. And love appeared, and understanding, and care.

Love is not the main thing in a relationship. It is important that both partners are ready to take their role positions: he must be a support, a strong man, and forgive small female weaknesses. And a woman should be meek, not make trouble, not demand anything. She must trust the man and forgive his weaknesses, showing him how strong and courageous he is. In such a family, love will not exist in the form of teenage hormones, which fade away after 3 years. It will be a great and real feeling of deep respect, acceptance and trust. This is love, gentlemen.

In the meantime, while you are looking for such a woman, try to completely get rid of the oppressive feeling of melancholy inside.

Enjoy your privacy

Loneliness or freedom? Everyone decides for themselves. Loneliness for a man is a heavy burden. Bachelors live shorter lives.

Difficulty in making a diagnosis

There is no diagnosis of loneliness in medicine. Psychologists call pathology a condition when a person is terrified of being alone or isolated. This type of mental disorder has many names: autophobia, monophobia, eremophobia, isolophobia. All of these terms imply isolation phobia. At the same time, the subject is surrounded by people, builds relationships, and lives a seemingly full life. But a person has the assumption that he is ignored, not loved, not accepted. The disorder does not develop on its own; it is usually associated with other anxiety conditions.

The psychological disease autophobia and the feeling of loneliness are different concepts. A person feels abandoned and lonely when there is no personal life, family relationships do not work out, or there is a lack of social interaction. People tend to experience a feeling of loneliness in company, relationships, when there is no understanding and support. Autophobia is a fear that causes panic at the mere thought of isolation. Anxiety is associated with the absence of a specific person or people in general from the patient’s life.

A person suffering from autophobia experiences the feeling of:

• approaching death;
• dangers;
• fear of intruders;
• anxiety;
• lack of clear thoughts;
• confusion;
• loss of consciousness.

In addition, there is an uncontrollable desire to run somewhere, literally or figuratively. Against the background of mental disorders, physical disorders appear:

• headache;
• dizziness;
• cardiopalmus;
• increased blood pressure;
• nausea;
• gastrointestinal disorder;
• trembling, tremor of limbs;
• increased sweating.

All this leads to behavior change. Autophobia can be identified by the following symptoms:

• the patient goes to extreme measures to avoid loneliness;
• when left alone, he tries to quickly find company;
• doesn't want people to leave;
• exhibits unhealthy dependence in relationships.

A striking example of the disease is a situation when, when trying to break off a relationship, one of the partners threatens suicide and is really afraid of being abandoned. Another example - a person does not start a family, lives with his mother until old age, because he cannot imagine his life without her.

Thus, you need to understand that autophobia is a mental illness that requires special treatment, and feelings of loneliness are a temporary disorder that occurs in response to the negative influence of others.

Consequences

As a result, young people either stop communicating with the fair sex, or simply begin to exist separately from them. But where can one man relax if he avoids female society and has no friends among men? This is a very interesting question that is asked by many women who believe that a man cannot survive without them. In fact, there are quite a lot of options for recreation and entertainment for such a person. Again, this is a matter of awareness. If a person understands the reason for his loneliness and goes into it intentionally, then he knows what he will do, does not waste time and develops himself. If loneliness is caused by pathological reasons, then there can be no talk of any rest or entertainment. Such a man is simply self-absorbed, he has a poor understanding of his feelings and desires and does not work at all on his internal problems.