Love at first sight is a phenomenon in which one half of humanity believes, while the other denies the possibility of its existence. This type of love seems so fabulous at first glance that it is difficult to believe that such a feeling can actually arise.
And yet history remembers many examples when lovers claimed that they fell in love at first sight.
Perhaps this has even happened to you, when you saw an interesting stranger and suddenly felt an irresistible attraction to him.
Or, if you failed to take advantage of the moment to develop communication, and your mysterious stranger disappeared into the crowd, lost to you forever, you could not get her out of your head for a very long time, continuing to return every now and then to meeting her in your memories .
Actually, “falling in love at first sight” is not that unusual. But what exactly is happening? Can you really love someone if you've never met them before?
In 2020, Dutch psychologists studied the phenomenon of love at first sight by conducting a survey of 400 men and women and drew a number of conclusions.
Physical manifestations of love
Physical manifestations of falling in love: blushing, rapid heartbeat, a feeling of trembling inside, sometimes butterflies in the stomach. Sweating, feeling of happiness and euphoria. Sometimes appetite disappears, which does not affect the amount of energy, and sleep disappears after appetite, which also does not affect fatigue. The work of a hormone is responsible for each of these symptoms.
- Testosterone and Estrogen
Male and female hormones, respectively, which enter the blood first. The action of this couple, in addition to its broad impact on the body as a whole, within the framework of love, regulates libido - sexual desire.
- Adrenalin
The feeling of inexplicable happiness, euphoria, when it makes you tremble and it seems you have enough strength to get a star from the sky, creates the appearance of adrenaline in the blood, thanks to the action of which homeostatic changes occur in the body, which causes goosebumps and a pleasant tremor.
Adrenaline is a defense hormone, produced in the body in stressful and dangerous situations, it is an activator of all defense systems, constricting peripheral blood vessels ensures blood supply to vital organs
- Dopamine
The “happiness hormone” is dopamine. It is he who helps you dream, reproduce pleasant and happy moments in your memory, and makes anticipation sweet. A person misses someone when he becomes sad or lonely, and dopamine only reminds him with whom exactly this situation can be corrected.
- Serotonin
The feeling of joy, good mood, the feeling of flying and falling in love itself is due to the production of serotonin. Thanks to this hormone, a high level of libido and a more satisfying sex life are maintained. True, with unrequited love, its level drops and even negatively affects sleep.
Serotonin – produced in the intestines. Sunlight is required for all its components to be absorbed. A lack of serotonin leads to surges in blood pressure and poor sleep quality.
- Endorphin
The “hormone of joy” manifests its action during physical contact with the object of love, be it kisses, hugs, sex. Provides feelings of desire, passion and happy carefreeness.
In everyday life, endorphins can be obtained from playing sports, achieving goals, job satisfaction, pleasant travel, and eating sweets.
- Oxytocin, vasopressin
Hormones of tenderness and affection are more often produced when partners are already confident in each other. The higher the level of these hormones, the stronger the attachment to the partner.
Oxytocin, the “mother’s hormone,” exacerbates the maternal instinct even in males, provided that the partner actively participates in nursing the baby. It also works when communicating with close relatives and friends.
Thus, all physical manifestations of love are the result of the complex but well-coordinated work of the endocrine system. However, hormonal fireworks occur in honor of not every stranger they meet. The signal flare for the hormone surge is a trigger called histocompatibility. Evolutionarily, a person is predisposed to reproduce the strongest offspring, and the greater the difference in the sets of immunity, the more resistant to disease the descendants will be, and the stronger the feeling of attraction is expressed.
Histocompatibility is an individual set of components of the immune system, or simply a map of the presence/absence of immunity to various diseases.
This means that the body, having met a histocompatible partner, does everything to psychologically like him too, alternately releasing into the blood hormones responsible for joy, satisfaction, happiness, and a feeling of pleasant goosebumps.
Psychological manifestations of love at first sight2
- Awkwardness and embarrassment
The fear of appearing uninteresting to the object of desire makes the lover insecure and shy.
- Fantasies about the future
Every now and then, fantasy pictures happy moments in the head, where mutual love reigns in a future together.
- Feeling like we've known each other for a long time
Sometimes it is explained by the similarity of the object of sympathy with a close friend or beloved relative, but this does not change the essence. The person who is in love clearly feels that he has known the opposite half for the previous 200 years, although he himself is only, for example, 25.
- Euphoria, attraction, happiness
A feeling of euphoria, incredible attraction, literally physical magnetism towards the chosen one. A sense of ownership emerges, you want the object of love to always be nearby.
From the point of view of evolution, a woman is considered to be the successor of the family, and in relation to caring for offspring, the theory of histocompatibility is quite successful, but as you know, love at first sight most often conquers men.
Is falling in love a sign of youth and stupidity?
Many people think that falling in love at first sight is the lot of the young and naive, but this is not so. For this feeling, age has no meaning. There are many examples when respectable and serious people simply lost their heads from their feelings and did reckless things: they shouted at the top of their voices about their love right on the street, wrote on the asphalt under the windows of a loved one, picked flowers from a flowerbed for their significant other. Sometimes adults become like teenagers and are absolutely happy about it!
Sympathy at first sight can change your whole life and become the main important event in life, or it can fade and in fact turn out to be simple love, but you shouldn’t run away from it, in any case, it will remain a bright spot in the picture of life’s memories. The main thing is that this event should give only light, pleasant emotions that will decorate and diversify boring everyday life.
Interest in the topic of love and feelings does not wane. So far, no one has been able to truly explain the nature of falling in love and love. Love and be loved!
Who experiences love at first sight more often?
In 2020, Dutch scientists in the field of psychology and psychoanalysis conducted an interesting study. A survey of 400 men and women found that men are more likely to show love at first sight. Women, in turn, approach the choice of a partner more selectively, studying his character rather than his external features.
Scientists from Great Britain have even determined the time it takes for a man to fall in love. It turned out that for the representative of the stronger half, only 8 seconds are enough. The experiment showed that a man’s gaze on a potential partner, whom he initially did not like, does not linger for more than four seconds, and within eight seconds, the desire to get to know each other better arises. In women, regardless of their predisposition to a man, their gaze did not linger for more than 4 seconds on a representative of the opposite sex.
Studying the psychological and physical signs of love at first sight gives a very positive picture of love. There is nothing wrong with a person experiencing a feeling of happiness, joy, that he is filled with energy and seems to have cosmic possibilities, but how long will this last?
Conscious Analysis
The hormonal, chemical correspondence of people to each other is determined even faster - according to various sources, from 1/5 of a second to 5 seconds. The main hormone of love at first sight is phenylethylamine. It is he who makes the blood boil and the heart jump out of the chest. But the effect of the hormone quickly ends, and then the active work of the subconscious and consciousness begins. And if the first checks for compliance with the image and the quality of the gene pool, then consciousness goes deeper:
- comparison with people from the past;
- searching for personal positive or negative warning signs;
- assessment of similarity of views on life;
- analysis of clothing, manners, making hypotheses about work and lifestyle.
Particular attention is paid to the involvement of a new acquaintance in a conversation or simply in contact: meeting eyes, smiling, reducing the distance. Minute but unnoticed loves are quickly forgotten, and mutual contact that does not receive a logical continuation gives several sleepless nights. Reciprocity tells a person that he has fallen in love.
Is this forever?4
Psychologists identify seven stages in the development of relationships without which it is impossible to achieve true, sincere love.
- Love
The first stage is characterized, as a rule, by the warmest and most pleasant memories; during this period, partners experience the most vivid feelings, exciting moments and experiences, and a sense of euphoria.
- Satiation
The wonderful euphoria is replaced by concern for everyday little things, which is often the cause of the first misunderstandings and conflicts. This stage is especially dangerous in couples where satiety of partners does not occur simultaneously.
- Rejection
Doubt arises about your own choice. Partners begin to analyze each other and those who manage to establish a dialogue remain together, those who did not succeed, unfortunately, separate.
- Patience (humility)
The partner’s shortcomings, revealed at the stage of rejection, require acceptance and patience. You need a full understanding that all people are different and a detailed plan on how to survive this) The stage of humility or patience goes through only people with truly strong will.
- Service
The stage of reconciliation, rare conflicts, because the reasons for them have been exhausted. All secret corners of each other have been revealed, and the keys to them have been found. Everyone tries to bring something useful to the family, to the common home.
- Respect (friendship)
At this stage, when Crimea, Rome, and cooling pipes have been passed together, when the couple can confidently say that they have safely overcome their pound of salt, the relationship becomes simple, strong, and trusting. Union brings pleasure and peace.
- Love
The pinnacle of overcoming. At this stage, it is no longer possible to break up the couple, just as it is impossible to surprise each other. Trust, mutual respect and loyalty of the highest standard are no longer subject to any external cataclysms.
Francesco Alberoni, in his book “Love,” compares the feeling of the same name to a dance, where coordinated, but spontaneous at first glance, movements are nothing more than the result of long work. He believes that only a joint search for agreement, harmony and working through mistakes, through numerous corrections and repetitions, can give such a result. Combinations of movements, figures that are memorized, repeated countless times and brought to the point of automatism create a feeling of free spontaneity, but in fact the end result is nothing more than the product of long-term joint training.
Francesco Alberoni is an Italian sociologist, journalist, and psychoanalyst.
Thus, it depends only on the efforts of the couple themselves whether this feeling is forever. Yes, it has the right to transform over time, but the achievement of the final, highest concentration of true love is in the hands of the lovers themselves.
The fact that love at first sight is not a passing infatuation is supported by examples not only of ordinary people, but also of celebrity couples, whose unions are much more at risk of provocations. However, real feelings do not give in to temptation.
Celebrity couples whose love began at first sight5
Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor
Ben and Christine have been together for 18 years. “A naive romantic,” Ben says about himself, he met his half at a party and at first glance realized that it was fate.
Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest
Jamie Lee Curtis saw her chosen one in a photo in a magazine, and at that very second she confidently told her friend that she would marry him. Together for 33 years.
Michael Caine and Shakira Bakish
For the first time, Michael Caine saw his other half on TV in a coffee commercial, struck by her beauty, he rushed to look for her. The successful search has now resulted in 42 years of marriage.
David Beckham and Victoria Beckham
The football virtuoso fell in love with his wife at first sight, and he first saw the girl when she starred in a video.
Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alwas
Only Matthew experienced love at first sight in this couple. Fascinated by his wife from the first minute, he was forced to diligently look after Camila before he won the girl’s favor.
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Bean
Justin saw Jessica at the Golden Globes and, with the help of a friend, asked her out. The girl agreed, and since then they have been inseparable.
Should you give in to your love interest?
If people who have experienced a love impulse are free, not married or in a relationship, nothing prevents them from personally checking whether the love that arises at first sight exists. Sudden passion is characterized by dissolution in a romantic impulse and loss of contact with reality.
As a result, a person can succumb to emotions and commit actions that he would not dare to do if he were in a calm, balanced state. You should not be led by momentary emotions if a casual acquaintance is bound by obligations or marriage. It is rarely possible to build happiness on someone else's misfortune.
Love is the willingness to give your partner a place in your life. It is impossible to experience sincere, deep feelings after seeing a person just once. But at one glance you can discern your destiny in a random acquaintance and build a happy relationship in the future.
Is there love at first sight?
According to the book “Love” by Francesco Alberoni, at the moment of falling in love, we experience all the signs of love at first sight. And when moving to the stage of being in love (being in love), some of them are lost, and since innamoramento is the beginning of the path, it means that love at first sight, like any other beginning of a relationship that led to a long-term union and love as the truth, must be recognized as existing.
Innamoramento – entering into love (Italian)
By nature, a person is endowed not only with feelings, but also with reason, and often these two substances are irreconcilable with each other. But the one who, in the end, despite the torment of common sense, chooses love, always and everywhere makes it the root cause and argument, remains right. Love is perhaps the only measure by which the world still holds together. And love at first sight is a gift from nature itself; a person can only guard it reverently.
