Reasons for office romances
The reasons for developing relationships at work between a man and a woman are different.
The main reasons include:
1. a large amount of time spent performing official duties. The average working person is at home only in the evenings and on short weekends, and devotes the entire week to work.
He has to do a huge number of things, so he often needs to turn to a colleague for help. If this is repeated over and over again, it can contribute to the emergence of warm feelings;
2. In the workplace, people usually behave sincerely, without embellishment. Their strengths and weaknesses are easily visible to others. In a friendly team, the friendly atmosphere is relaxing and conducive to trust.
At the same time, the object of sympathy seems even nicer. Both common cause and tasks contribute to rapid rapprochement;
3. Often the beginning of relationships is laid at corporate parties, group events and trips, when there is an opportunity to get to know each other better in an informal setting. At the same time, entertainment and alcohol speed up the process;
4. sometimes the reason may be in the person himself. One of your colleagues, whether male or female, may be disappointed in his current partner, tired of a previous relationship, or simply looking for a new partner.
In this case, a certain employee or employee may seem extremely attractive for a new relationship, especially if he is a bright and successful person.
Whatever the reason behind the office romance, its development can be completely unpredictable, because such a relationship is influenced by many factors, including the personalities of the partner-colleagues.
Prioritization
When analyzing an affair with a married colleague, the pros and cons will not be comparable. There are much more cons than pros.
It is important for a potential lover to set priorities, because relationships with a family man interfere with work. Moreover, they can even interfere with career growth. The human factor is also present in the fateful decisions of management.
It is not a fact that, being the most likely candidate for promotion, a woman simply will not receive a new position due to her boss’s condemnation of a sensational office romance.
A relationship with a married colleague will most likely end not with a beautiful wedding, but with exposure, followed by separation. Men rarely leave their family because of an affair.
You will have to urgently look for a new gentleman or another place of work, or even all at once. A logical question arises: why create such problems for yourself at all?
Positive aspects outside of statutory relations
Close relationships at work between a man and a woman do not arise out of nowhere. They are usually preceded by a period of unconscious attraction, when it is completely unclear whether it is worth continuing. But if intimacy develops without stopping, then pleasant positive moments await the couple.
You can spend the maximum amount of time with your chosen one without making special appointments for this. You can do work and enjoy the attention of your loved one.
Relationships will always be filled with interesting conversations, since thanks to work, common topics for them will not dry up. New projects and tasks will stimulate conversations and bonding.
Work becomes loved
Even if you didn’t like work before, now you will go to it with great desire, because there you can see someone who has now become dear to you. A good mood and inner uplift will become an incentive to improve your work achievements.
If you start dating a colleague, then most likely such a relationship will not bring unpleasant surprises regarding the character of the other party. The work environment makes it possible to see all its advantages and disadvantages in advance in order to prepare mentally.
The likelihood of betrayal in the case of a relationship with a co-worker is minimal. You are in each other's sight almost all the time and you know what your partner is doing and who he is communicating with.
Working relationships motivate to maintain a spectacular appearance, so there is a desire to look good, take care of clothes and figure. This point applies not only to women, but also to men.
Condemnation of others
An office romance with a married man will certainly cause condemnation from everyone who finds out about it. No matter how long and successfully you manage to hide the relationship, it will not last forever.
An affair between a married woman and a married man will cause a double dose of censure at work and among others.
The lovers will be judged by colleagues who know the man’s wife by sight and who saw how she carefully brought him a forgotten lunch to work.
No less negativity will spill out from the acquaintances of the lover himself, who has entered into a relationship outside the family.
Friends and family, having learned about the novel, will definitely not admire it. It is possible that due to delicacy they will not say this to your face, but condemnation is an emotion that is easy to read in behavior and even in a glance.
Cons of office romance
Of course, close relationships in the workplace do not only have positive aspects. What seemed like a positive yesterday may turn out to be a negative today. Communication becomes exhausting, and the consequences of an affair poison life. What are the dangers of being too close to a colleague?
Frequent attention from a boyfriend can turn into total control if he has a tendency towards jealousy and pettiness. He will know everything about you: who you talked to, who you approached, what kind of coffee you drank. Under such pressure, male co-workers may be off-limits to you.
Inspiration and the rise of internal forces that initially arose in connection with the relationship can direct energy in completely the wrong direction. There is a big risk that all work moments will become boring and uninteresting, because thoughts are occupied only by the object of desire. Of course, the boss will like this least of all.
If you have a relationship with your boss, then over time he may suspect you of being calculating and will stop trusting you. This is most likely if there are “well-wishers” in the team who will try to influence your relationship. A female boss also needs to be on her guard - there are often cases when their attention was sought solely for selfish purposes.
Gossip and gossip
From now on, gossip and rumors will accompany your communication constantly. No matter how friendly the team is, everyone loves to gossip. You should be prepared for whispers behind your back and meaningful glances from your colleagues. For suspicious people, such behavior can be very painful. If your friend is married, then very soon his other half will find out about everything.
If the relationship falls apart, you will have to see and communicate with a person who has become unpleasant. Another painful option is also possible - the colleague himself will stop contact, but you will want to return him.
It can be argued that no relationship, even a short one, passes without a trace, especially for a woman. If they gave her warmth and joy, then in the future she can return to them in her thoughts. This, in turn, may prevent you from creating a strong alliance in the future.
Cons of love relationships
Having considered the positive aspects of an affair at work, it is definitely worth mentioning its negative aspects, due to which many warn against such relationships and swear off ever being in a love relationship with co-workers.
Here the widespread publicity of the office romance comes to the fore, no matter how the couple tries to hide it. The fact of staff awareness is usually followed by gossip, condemnation, and reduction of the merits of those who are lower in rank. The solution seems to be to minimize people's awareness of what is happening between the couple, but slander and ridicule are almost inevitable, especially when it comes to an affair with a boss.
Relationships with colleagues can deteriorate for many reasons. Someone has their own unsettled personal life and the person can’t bear to see happy couples, but here in an unexpected place they step on a sore spot. Workaholics may be annoyed by the constant cooing and distraction of the couple on extraneous topics. If among the team there are those who felt sympathy for one of the participants in the love affair, but forbade themselves such relationships, then the level of anger and envy can even reach the level of action.
In personal relationships, satiety can set in, because people spend absolutely all their time together. If you don’t supplement work topics with other pastimes, get-togethers with friends outside of work, then the topics may soon exhaust themselves, you can’t rely on initial involvement for long, then you need to work on developing relationships. Without preventive measures, the line between work and intimate relationships can become so blurred that family scandals will take place at work, and in bed people will discuss the strategy of a new business plan.
A moment of mistrust regarding the sincerity of feelings can arise when there is an unequal official position. Thus, the boss may doubt that it is he who arouses sympathy, and not the privileges provided to his beloved. At the same time, a person of lower rank will feel a lack of attention, because solving work issues in leadership positions will still be a priority.
A difficult moment is the end of a love or office romance, because in addition to emotional experiences, a difficult state arises regarding further interaction. Not all ex-lovers say hello when they bump into each other in a store, and the level of tension from forced communication on work matters can be critical.
Consequences of relationships at work
The most pleasant continuation of such relations, without a doubt, will be their legalization. This outcome is most likely if both parties are free.
If the relationship was secret, then the likelihood that a married colleague will decide to leave his spouse is, most often, negligible. In this case, it is important not to make the relationship public, and then to separate peacefully.
Of the negative consequences, the most common is discussion of the couple by others, even to the point of inventing fables.
If the connection was with the boss, then the boss may be accused of exceeding official authority, and his subordinate of mercantile calculation. This option sometimes becomes the reason for transfer or dismissal from work.
Of course, getting involved with a colleague will not be without consequences. It is not always within our power to make them pleasant or painless, but we must try to minimize the risks.
We locked ourselves in his office and did this!
I won’t describe the details, because it’s a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
But can you imagine what happens when a spark of love intertwines with the flame of passion... Igor said that he had an interview, but he locked himself in the office with me, and... We were flying away. I was surprised that he never hinted at a break with Roma. I chalked it all up to the fact that he and Roma were friends. It turned out that I suited Igor only as a mistress, and he didn’t plan anything more with me at all. How did I find out about this?
Everything would be fine and wonderful , as before, if it weren’t for the call during our “intimacy”. I was not just shocked by the call, but very shocked! The conversation goes something like this: “Yes, hello, dear. I am at a meeting. At what time? After seven in the evening somewhere. Is Oleg already at school? Kiss you! I miss". By the way, Igor didn’t explain anything to me at first. He was immediately “distracted” by me, as if nothing had happened at all. And I “pushed him away” and asked who it was that called. I decided that I was his only one! It turns out that I was the only one who decided this, and not Igor. He answered me very calmly: “This is my wife.” And then my tearful hysteria began. I wanted to run out of the office, but it was closed, and Igor had the keys. He said, almost rudely, that I would not come out until I completely calmed down. Then there was a long and tough conversation. He made it clear to me that he didn't owe me anything, that I had a choice. And it consists of the following: either I continue to be content with what I have, or we separate and forget everything that “slipped” between us.
Negative points
There are a lot of negative things about work love relationships, namely:
- Constant control from your boyfriend can quickly get boring, especially if your man is too jealous and unrestrained;
- love relationships at work can harm professional achievements, constantly distracting you from worries and demonstrating tender feelings to your loved one;
- if your chosen one is also your boss, he may become suspicious of your greed and this will seriously damage the relationship;
- when a relationship breaks down, seeing your loved one every day will become a real torment;
- Usually work colleagues are very sensitive to such situations and your relationship will not be a secret to them. Someone will support you, someone will condemn you, and there will probably be kind people who will want to open the eyes of your deceived spouse to your relationship. Are you ready for a response from your sweetheart's wife?
