Infatuation and love. What is the difference?

What is love and what is falling in love

An example that is based on feelings not only for your other half will help you understand the difference between love and falling in love. Everyone felt this kind of affection. Of course, this is platonic love, which is expressed in relation to:

♥ to children;

♥ animals;

♥ friends and family;

♥ luxury goods.

People who love each other can experience approximately the same sensations. A sober attitude and understanding of the importance of a partner does not prevent you from accepting him with all his shortcomings. Love should be understood as a strong attachment on a psychological level and the desire to be one.

Falling in love is a feeling brighter than love, but, unfortunately, short-lived. The euphoria that occurs in the first minutes of a meeting between two people is caused by an active surge of the following hormones:

♥ dopamine;

♥ endorphin;

♥ oxytocin;

♥ serotonin.

According to psychologists, the consciousness of a lover focuses only on the object of adoration, which is why shortcomings fade into the background or are not considered significant. Such feelings do not exceed two to three years in duration, while love can last more than one decade. When emotions pass, “epiphany” occurs. At this moment, former lovers begin to soberly evaluate their partner and pay attention to little things that seemed insignificant. In both cases there are certain similarities:

♥ attraction and sympathy for a partner;

♥ fear of loss or separation;

♥ selfless help and desire to be useful.

The main difference between love and falling in love is a different psycho-emotional component. Wild passion and adoration are inherent mainly in the second category. Sometimes these concepts are confused, but only for two reasons: the sensations are greatly exaggerated or there is no understanding of the terms.

Sympathy

Liking is an emotional, approving reaction to another person. It is expressed in a friendly and benevolent attitude, admiration for a person and a desire to interact with him. Sympathy can be caused by the following factors:

similarity of characters and worldview;
external attractiveness;
the presence of related factors (age, neighborhood, place of work, etc.);
reciprocal feelings (sympathy often arises in response to a similar feeling of another person).

What is true love

Deep feelings do not flare up instantly, it takes time. To accept a person into your life, you need to understand that love is a willingness to accept all the “pros” and “cons” of a partner. Without knowing anything about the other half or having little information, you can make the mistake of thinking that the feelings that arise will last for many years.

Testing with time helps to determine whether the partner is accepted as a person or whether he likes certain aspects of behavior or just physical characteristics.

In a relationship where true love reigns, there is room for more than just each other. I want to share happiness with friends and relatives, dream and create. Deep feelings are characterized by mutual support in all matters, taken with full responsibility and a serious approach.

There are no specific criteria for how to feel love, but it is necessary to understand that, first of all, deep feelings imply responsibility. Often young people idealize relationships, naively believing that passion should “rage” throughout their lives. Without understanding the true value of the nature of love, such couples can break off the relationship without regret, citing the concept of “burnt out.”

In order to bring a little clarity and “weigh” the relationship, to understand how to experience the love of a man or woman in a couple, you can consider several situations:

Respect for your partner's feelings and desires. For every person there are unpleasant topics about which he is not inclined to engage in dialogue. And also some people can be sensitive to criticism in their direction. Partners who love each other must take this into account.
Acceptance of the beloved. A person cannot be satisfied with everything in relation to another. When deciding to build serious connections, you need to consider whether you can get along with the “cons” of the other half. It must be remembered that advantages and disadvantages are components of personality, the alteration of which does not lead to anything good.
Finding common solutions in controversial situations. Discussion and search for compromise are necessary to save peace in the family.
Control of emotional state. In a relationship, you must learn to restrain yourself even in a controversial environment. The consequences of a quarrel that breaks out, where partners cannot stop making statements and insults, can be disastrous.
Ability to analyze a situation. The importance of making the right decision in any disagreement is undeniable. You need to learn to understand your partner and his actions, perhaps by putting yourself in his place.

If such interaction does not occur between two people, then it is difficult to talk about love. It is impossible to live your whole life in misunderstanding and expecting reciprocity from your loved one. True love is always the work of two partners, sometimes complex and delicate.

Love

This is a sparkling feeling that has a number of features:

appears suddenly and fades away just as quickly;
accompanied by vivid emotions and literally “dizzy”;
all attention is focused on one person, often a woman looks at everything through rose-colored glasses;
often based only on sexual attraction;
often accompanied by self-doubt, dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance, status, etc., there is a desire to radically change in order to attract attention;
the object of falling in love is not even the person himself, but a certain image;
the leading feeling during this period is euphoria; it seems that it is impossible to live a day without another person.

What is falling in love

Many people are familiar with similar symptoms, such as feeling hot or trembling at the sight of an object of sympathy; someone loses their appetite; thoughts about something extraneous become impossible. All of the above indicates falling in love - this is fanatical devotion and adoration of the object of passion.

Here are some examples of signs of this feeling:

The desire to be nearby every second. In a state of love, a person can throw away everything in order to meet the object of sympathy.
Glorifying the qualities of the chosen one. Lovers do not notice shortcomings, but exalt their advantages more than they really are, sharing their “unique”, “special” relationship with others.
The desire to meet the standards of the beloved. Having learned about the likes and hobbies of the chosen one, a person can begin to do the same thing, dyeing his hair, learning Japanese or buying fashion magazines.
Patience for any antics. Even inappropriate actions will not be able to change the attitude of a lover. On the contrary, everything touches, causes a smile and delight.

Life situations make it clear what the feeling of falling in love is, and without thinking about further relationships, it will never develop into love. After the fading of emotions, there will be nothing left to strengthen the couple. People can be united not only by love and infatuation. Relationship psychology also highlights:

Passion is the basis for both love and being in love.
Habit. Often everyday problems and constant quarrels destroy couples, leaving no feelings. Getting out of such a relationship seems impossible, since former lovers are already accustomed to performing some duties for each other.
Addiction. A similar feeling is usually observed among lovers, when everything that is not connected with the other half fades into the background. Such relationships do not last long and have nothing to do with love.
Attachment. This is an ambiguous feeling, which can be both an addition to a high relationship and an obstacle to separation when there is no longer love and respect in the couple.
Sympathy. It can become the initial stage in couples experiencing both love and infatuation. But if sympathy is not complemented by other components, such as responsibility and passion, then it does not develop into love.

All these feelings can be tied to the concepts of infatuation and love. Some help the beginning of a relationship, others appear as feelings develop and complement them.

Community of two senses

Love and sympathy are the object of close study and increased attention of scientists. They are united:

Community of interests, desire to achieve the same goals.
Gaining a positive, useful experience from communication.
The emergence of a long friendship. This requires personal maturity and education.
The ability to experience joy and admiration from the achievements of a loved one.

The joy of communication and gaining experience accompanies both concepts . In any case, each object gains experience and learns empathy. Friendship, like love, requires the ability to find balance. Relationships are reminiscent of a rapier duel - you advance on time, retreat on time.

Love and sympathy are a strong foundation for future trusting, conscious relationships. And then the primary interest will develop into a more perfect form - falling in love.

Can infatuation turn into love?

There is no clear answer to this question. Couples may be different. Some people are satisfied when “one loves and the other allows them to love,” others require mutual feelings. Some do not stand the test of time and end the relationship without “finishing” it.

It is impossible to see how infatuation develops into love in the initial stages. It will take a lot of time to understand that the couple did not break under the pressure of life’s circumstances, but their feelings only grew stronger.

According to psychologists, the ideal scenario for a long-term relationship should begin with friendship between a woman and a man. The presence of this element helps to understand how infatuation turns into love.

This is love or infatuation. How to determine

It is impossible to say for sure which feeling is stronger. In any case, the object of love or infatuation fills most of life. However, these concepts cannot be combined. Falling in love, which arose due to a hormonal surge, gradually fades away. There may not be a single thread left that can cling to the remnants of past feelings.

About love, we can say that it has a solid foundation on which relationships develop further and the decision to start a family is made.

Carolina Korableva

About the author: Hello! I am Karolina Korableva. I live in the Moscow region, in the city of Odintsovo. I love life and people. I try to be realistic and optimistic in life. What I value in people is their ability to behave. I am interested in psychology, in particular conflictology. Graduated from RGSU, Faculty of Occupational Psychology and Special Psychology.

Tired of love

What do men expect from living together? If you believe what they write on forums and in groups on social networks - a kind of hybrid of a personal psychologist, a good lover, and a housewife. Ideally, she should also work, and not as a barista in a coffee shop or something similar.

It would be nice if she could cook, tasty, varied food and for 10-12 thousand a month. And so that you won’t be ashamed to show your friends that your figure and clothes are tasteful, sexy, and not vulgar. And I didn’t quarrel with my mother, and the list goes on and on. Moreover, if at least some detail falls out of the harmonious picture of the world, love collapses.

Women want almost the same thing, only in reverse:

Stability. No Mash on Viber, and Svet on Instagram, who write at night, supposedly to discuss training in the gym. We know these simulators, instead of them the previous one cheated with a neighbor on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays;
Material wealth. It’s good to date a barista when you’re 20 and all you need is to go to a neighboring city for a concert. But closer to 30, and when you already want to start a family and show your boyfriend to your mother, it’s better to let him work as a boring banker. Well, okay, the manager will do too;
Family and children. Yes, an official wedding with “paintings”, flowers, witnesses, and parents is one of the guarantees of the first point. It is implicitly believed that stability will come if he spends money on a joint loan for a celebration and even saves on the down payment on a mortgage.

Sympathy

Sympathy is a positive reaction to a person who turns out to be pleasant to us. Sympathy is formed literally in the first minutes of acquaintance and affects mainly those aspects that are easily assessed. Factors such as external physical attractiveness, stylish and well-chosen clothing, common interests - all this easily serves as the basis for the emergence of sympathy.

Having sympathy for a person does not mean that you will establish closer contact with him. But without sympathy there is certainly no way to talk about continuing the relationship.

Where is the line?

Falling in love and sympathy are not always interconnected. Very often, having common interests and similar views on life is confused with feelings. When a person lacks communication, he has a greater tendency to confuse feelings.

In order to recognize what feeling a person is experiencing, you need to take a focused look at the relationship. Do they have a feeling of jealousy or a desire to care. Or personal interests prevail. In order to distinguish love from sympathy, it is important to understand what drives actions. The desire to communicate and be close to an object or the desire to master it. It is extremely important to understand what motives drive the relationship. Sometimes people marry on the basis of friendship. Such marriages can be quite strong, but they can collapse in an instant if one of the partners meets true love.

A person wants sympathy to be followed by infatuation, which would develop into love. But relationships do not always develop in the correct sequence. There are often times when a friendship turns into something big. The opposite is also possible; a caring attitude between two people prevents mistakes from occurring and helps relationships develop in the right direction.