Example of an interview in the counseling process

Now I will tell you about a psychological technique that is so safe and universal that psychologists recommend it as “homework” to their clients. It will help you let go of some feelings and emotions that make you uncomfortable, respond to them and become aware of them. This technique is effective for losses, breakups, resentments, guilt and other “social” feelings.

It can be used whenever you think you need it.

Letter writing technique

You need at least 15 minutes of free time. At this time, no one should tug or disturb you. Dedicate this time exclusively to yourself and this exercise.

Have a few blank sheets of paper and a pen ready. It is best to write by hand rather than typing on a computer. This way the effect is better.

Focus on your feelings and who is at fault for them. On the person they are associated with. Stay in this for a while.

Now start writing. Contact this person and write everything you want to tell him right now. The main task is to express your feelings. The less censorship and control there is in your writing, the better. Swearing, ultimatums, accusations, angry reproaches, and name-calling are acceptable and encouraged. Whatever you want to say right now, even if you don't usually say anything like that in life. Remember that this is not just a letter, but a psychological technique. The more you open up, the better it will work.

Phrases like “you should have” or “I demand that”, “you owe me”, “I hate you” and so on are welcome.

Focus on treating the person. Don’t go into lengthy thoughts about “how” or “about what”. For example, if the reason for writing a letter is betrayal, you should not argue that “cheating undermines trust in couples and, according to research, blah blah blah.” Write “you are a goat, I believed you, and you are a male!”

It is important to address the letter to a person. Address your statements to the person. Tell him how you feel. What he should have done, what he should do now. Call him all the words you want. It is important to “breathe out” the letter. And a good exhalation is one that lasts until the end.

When you feel that there is nothing more to say, put down the pen. Now re-read the letter. Re-read as many times as you see fit. Live through the emotions that have spilled out until they lose their power. And then destroy the letter. Two methods of destruction are recommended:

Burn. (Remember about fire safety);
tear into small pieces and flush down the toilet (remember the wrath of the plumber).

The methods are equivalent - choose any. The main thing is never, under any circumstances, give this letter to the addressee ! This is very fraught. If you really need it, then it’s better to tell him the contents later. The letter itself is solely an expression of your emotions, and not a personal message for communication. You need to understand this.

Example of a letter from a psychologist to a client. Written communication between a psychologist and a client

When you do not have the opportunity to take advantage of an in-person psychological consultation or a telephone conversation and ask a psychologist a question, you have the opportunity to write a letter to the psychologist by e-mail or send a message to the psychologist directly from the site by filling out the form presented at the end of the page.

Of course, answering an email will not replace live communication with a psychologist or psychological consultation. However, here too it is possible to get a fairly complete and open answer to your question to a psychologist.

** Please check that your email address is filled in correctly.

About personality, personality development, individuality

In this section we publish some letters, the main topic of which is personal problems, problems of personality development and everything related to the inner, spiritual world. Problems of development and individuality often worry us, forcing us to think about who we are and what is happening to us. Here you can write to a psychologist by filling out the form at the bottom of the page.

About love, relationships, thoughts

In this section we publish some letters with answers to them, the main topic of which is love and relationships. As the classics said: “All ages are submissive to love” and they were right! But relationships are also not smooth and smooth. But how to get out of negative situations can be found in this section. Here you can write to a psychologist by filling out the form at the bottom of the page.

About family, family relationships, children

In this section we publish some letters with answers to them, the main topic of which is family and family relationships. At the initial stage of family life, spouses form the concept of “we”. Family is “us”. At the same time, it is important not to forget that we are two different personalities, individuals, two creative people. Here you can write to a psychologist by filling out the form at the bottom of the page.

About starting a career, work, relationships at work

In this section we publish some letters with questions regarding various situations at work and in professional activities. How to start a successful career? How to build relationships with colleagues, superiors, subordinates? How not to lose heart when you quit? And how to behave correctly when looking for a job? Here you can write to a psychologist by filling out the form at the bottom of the page.

WRITE A LETTER TO A PSYCHOLOGIST

You can write a letter to a psychologist by filling out this form

** Please make sure your email address is filled in correctly to respond.

At the beginning of our work, I will offer to meet with me one or more times for an interview. The purpose of this interview is to understand why you are seeking help at this time, to hear your story, and to obtain some information about your family. It is important that you inform me about whether you are currently being treated by a general practitioner or specialist, and tell me about the symptoms that are currently bothering you. Psychological counseling process Sessions (meetings) are held one or more times a week. Each meeting will last 50 minutes. This is a significant burden. Although short-term psychotherapy is recommended in some cases, the process usually does not resolve quickly. Each person is individual and it is impossible to predict how you will react to sessions and at what speed changes will take place. It depends on age, severity of the problem, personal characteristics. Therefore, it is sometimes useful to consider several types of possible responses. Some take it all in stride and feel relieved to be able to talk. Others have difficulty with this. Sometimes, after the phase of the beginning of contact “everything is fine, the therapist is wonderful, the successes are undoubted,” a phase of resistance may begin: “everything is terrible, I don’t want to go there.” These phases may alternate, be absent altogether, or be barely noticeable. Sometimes there is a sudden change in behavior (for good or bad), which can cause you anxiety and frustration. In such cases, there may be a desire to stop working with a psychologist, but this decision would be premature. It is normal for those who work with a psychologist to experience mixed feelings when complex problem areas of the psyche are touched upon. Adults understand and have the opportunity to discuss this, and this analysis helps them overcome painful periods. Confidentiality For effective work, it is necessary to have trust that everything that happens in the office remains private (at the request of the client). I undertake to any client not to tell anyone* about what is happening in the office, what stories and actions are trusted. Trust may not be established immediately, so the confidentiality rule is necessary to consolidate the experience of trust as well. However, there are a number of exceptional circumstances: -If a person communicates an intention to cause serious harm to himself or others; -If a person reports abuse of themselves or others; -If individual work materials are requested by law enforcement agencies. (Parents should be informed about such situations). Then it is necessary to inform the relevant specialists.

Contact You can call or text me as needed. This may concern practical arrangements, or you may be concerned about a specific situation. Or maybe I need to contact you about our agreements. End of work with a psychologist Since each person is individual, and work with a psychologist is a process that develops over time, it is difficult to say in advance how long it will last. Its duration can vary from several days to several years (possibly with interruptions). It is advisable to complete work by mutual agreement and set a completion date in advance. It is preferable to avoid finishing work with a psychologist that coincides with the end of another process (going on vacation, moving, changing family composition, etc.). Payment The payment amount is agreed upon first. Revision is possible within the framework of the contract. Missed meetings (without a good reason) are paid. I give advance notice of changes to my schedule and expect the same from you. I am enclosing two copies of this note. Please sign both copies to indicate that you have read them and agree to the contents. Please return one copy to me. Parent's first and last name_________________. Date of_______________. Sincerely, psychologist Liksonova E.L. *Excludes supervision or texts mentioning this clinical case. In this option, the psychologist, upon obtaining consent from the client, describes the case in such a way as to hide specific personal data as much as possible. Names, surnames and other complete information are strictly excluded from publication. If you do not intend to give permission for your story to be used or would like to discuss this, please let me know and I will respect your wishes.

this may help you There are rockers who attract fans like a magnet

Written communication between a psychologist and a client

Bulkina E.S.

When many people hear the word “psychologist,” they imagine a person speaking or listening, but not writing. Traditionally, we consider oral, “conversational” communication
a psychologist
and
a client
to be the most productive: it is possible to quickly assess the interlocutor’s reaction, change tactics, dose out information, etc.
- these advantages are obvious. But since written speech exists, it can be an excellent tool for the work of a practical psychologist
.

Written
communication between a psychologist
and
a client
has a number of advantages:

1. Written information is almost always “filtered” much more than oral information - a person writes what he considers necessary to write. This information is very significant for him, or, conversely, insignificant (he wants to “hide”). A psychologist, analyzing a client’s text, has the opportunity to pay attention to the style, handwriting, think about the explicit and hidden meaning of what is written, and, in turn, addressing the text to the client, can “blind” a letter that corresponds to the personal characteristics of the addressee and the purpose of writing.

A psychologist who uses written
communication
with
a client
must be fluent in speech and “feel” it, because it is not easy to empathize with a person without being in direct contact with him.
In addition, what is written can be perceived by the client
as a document, diagnosis or something similar, therefore, the psychologist bears high responsibility for every word he writes. The client should be warned that this information is not a certificate or a document, but rather a letter.

2. Written text is often perceived by the client

, as more intimate than oral. The game of correspondence especially captivates teenagers, who are attracted by everything new, unusual, and shrouded in mystery.

It happens that it is much easier for them (teenagers) to come to a consultation with a psychologist with a girlfriend or boyfriend than alone. In such cases, the conversation often does not turn out frank, even if the friend is behind the door - her invisible presence confuses. Seeing such difficulties, you can suggest that the client use paper to convey his thoughts.

3. The written text can be stored and disposed of as you wish. There are cases when a client keeps a text written to him by a psychologist for years, if this information is significant to him, in the same way as letters from dear people are kept.

It happens that the client takes the piece of paper with caution - has anyone else seen it except the psychologist?

?
As a rule, this does not mean that the text will be hidden forever. Having read significant information, a person strives to show it to someone and discuss it. Of course, teenagers most often show their friends, relatives and acquaintances a letter from a psychologist
, less often - younger schoolchildren, while adults are more willing to talk “about it” than show the sheet itself.

Based on the way information is handled, a psychologist can judge its significance—whether the client keeps it, loses it, tears it up, throws it away, if he shows it, then to whom, etc.

Also, a psychologist can store samples of clients’ written creativity, compare and analyze them.

4. For a person, a text written specifically FOR HIM is significant. That’s why people are so happy about letters, that’s why congratulations are written on postcards, that’s why a doctor at a clinic who writes the name of a medicine FOR US on a piece of paper seems very attentive to us.

A person who voluntarily turns to a psychologist for help often has low self-esteem, and material confirmation that it is his problem that is of interest to the psychologist

, very important.

The psychologist has to use a written form of communication in cases where personal contact is impossible (for example, due to distance). It's inconvenient, but sometimes necessary.

“..I come to the store and want to buy...Am I having a mania?”

Dear Sofia!

I understand your desire and want to say that there is nothing wrong with this. We all feel a craving for something, something causes us increased interest and desire to have it. Another thing is what you do in this case…. Or you understand that you currently do not have the opportunity to buy what you want, but you cannot resist buying it and spend your last money on it, then this indicates a low level of self-control. Or you leave the store “with tears in your eyes” and for a long time you cannot cope with your emotions, or switch to something else... In any case, this is not mania, but simply passion for a certain topic. For many people, this later turns into a hobby. It is also quite likely that this interest will fade over time and another interest will appear)).

“How to deal with anger?”

Anger is an emotion that arises in a person in response to infringement of his rights, humiliation of his dignity, in case of failure, etc. Anger cannot be suppressed in ourselves, otherwise it tends to “accumulate” inside us and “pour out” on those around us, friends who are not to blame for anything. Even if you immediately apologize to them, they will leave a bad feeling and this will complicate the relationship between you. Therefore, it is very important in this case to clarify the relationship with the brother. If he often insults you and uses physical force, then it makes sense to talk about this with your parents so that they know that name-calling and beatings are used to resolve conflicts in their family. At the same time, it is very important not to use them in response, because if we allow ourselves the same methods in relation to another, then he also freely uses them in relation to us. Try to talk to your brother that when you quarrel, it is very offensive to hear these words from him, and even if you swear, you can agree on a ban on certain words and actions. This will most likely puzzle your brother and if it doesn't solve the situation right away, at least you will have taken the first step in this direction. Good luck!)))

“Why do I remember everything difficult, but forget everything easy? Why am I worried about the answer?” “Why can I solve all the difficult things quickly, but I can’t solve the easy ones?”

Our memory is closely related to our attention and emotions. The more carefully we analyze some information, we put a lot of effort into understanding it, the more firmly we remember it. And what is easy for us is not difficult for us, and can slip from our memory. In addition, information or a situation that aroused strong emotions in us (no matter positive or negative) is remembered much more strongly than ordinary information for us. Therefore, it is useful to use special techniques for memorization, which you can get acquainted with by contacting me for a consultation.

Regarding the anxiety before answering, I can assume that this is due to the fact that the result is very important to you (a good grade, for example). We all worry in situations that are significant to us, this is normal. If the level of anxiety is very high, then there are also special methods to keep it under control)).

“How to forget a dead pet?”

Pets are not “our little brothers” for nothing. When we lose them, we feel hurt and lonely... this is normal, because we loved them and they were dear to us... Over time, emotions dull and it becomes easier, after some time we can well admit the thought of someone else appearing in our lives -who can give us joy and attention. And our memory will forever help preserve warmth and gratitude to our departed friend in our souls.

“I used to like light and bright colors, but now I like dark ones. why is that?"

Dear Egor!

We grow, we change, our interests and preferences change. This is normal)) Color, first of all, is associated with our mood. How do you feel about dark tones? How does this relate to your mood? What is your mood associated with, what events in your life? at the age of 10-13 years, the mood is very changeable, there is a need to often be alone, think about oneself, about life, and sometimes feel sad. This is due to the characteristics of this age and is absolutely normal)).

“I've been having a lot of mood swings lately. What does this mean?"

Between the ages of 10 and 14, frequent mood swings are common. This is due to changes occurring in your body. The hormonal system begins to work actively, rebuilding your body and nervous system, making it more stable and complex. This is the mechanism of growing up. Don’t worry about the fact that your mood changes quickly; you often want to be sad alone. It is much more important to learn to listen to yourself, to understand what your mood is connected to and what it depends on. This will contribute to better control over your emotions and, as a result, relationships with others will deteriorate less. Good luck)).

“Dear psychologist, what is psychology?”

Dear student!))) Psychology is the science of the soul (psyche).

“How many emotions does a person have? Dreams in your head seem real, but when you wake up, you forget them? …What is this?"

It's different for everyone. If a person is sufficiently developed, intelligent, striving to develop as a person, then he has a very rich world of emotions. He is able to experience and highlight the subtlest shades of his emotions and the emotions of others. And a primitive person is only able to distinguish for himself - “like it or not like it.” That's all his emotions.

A dream is images that arise as a result of the work of the brain, but not of consciousness, but of the subconscious. That's why we don't always remember them. This is a complex mechanism of the psyche. Only sometimes vivid and memorable dreams penetrate our consciousness, and we remember them. There is a special direction in psychology that deals with the analysis of dreams. It is believed that this makes it possible to obtain information about a person’s diseases from his “body”.

“Is it difficult to work as a psychologist? How can you stand us? I want to become a psychologist, that’s why I ask questions?”

It is difficult to work as a psychologist, but this is due, in my opinion, first of all, to the fact that you need to know a lot and constantly learn and develop in your profession. It is very interesting, but it imposes a lot of responsibility towards people who come to you for help. People come to a psychologist for a variety of issues, and you must understand a variety of areas related to human problems. Therefore, you should always learn and expand your professional knowledge. I love my profession, I like communicating with people and therefore I don’t have to “put up with you.” On the issue of choosing a profession as a psychologist, in my opinion, it is necessary to become more familiar with the various types of psychological assistance, find out what their work is, and then choose. After all, in psychology there are different types of psychologists and their responsibilities are very different. Good luck))

“What to do if you feel squeezed out of What is the meaning of life and death? "

Everyone searches for it for themselves and at some point of reflection comes to the idea of what the meaning of life is for them. Everyone has their own and it lies in what you live for, what you want to achieve and what kind of person you become))).

“Is a machine uprising possible?”

Everything is possible. Progress is inexorable and what was previously only described in science fiction works of past centuries - the appearance of starships, blasters, robots - is now a reality. So why not...?

“Is it possible that a person sees blue with one eye and red with the other?”

No. Even if a person has eyes of different colors, he sees the same colors. This is due to the fact that despite the fact that the color of the iris of the eyes is different, the structure of the retina is the same. This mechanism will become clear to you when you study the anatomy of the eye (Biology, 8th grade).

“What did circles, squares, rectangles, triangles and zigzags mean?”

One of the branches of psychology studies the psychogeometry of personality. Scientists have found that people who choose the same types of geometric shapes have similar character traits.

Squares

extremely attentive to details. Squares love established order once and for all. The ideal of the Square is a planned, predictable life, and he does not like “surprises” and changes in the usual course of events. He constantly “orders”, organizes people and things around him. All these qualities contribute to the fact that Squares can become (and do become!) excellent administrators and performers, but... alas, they are rarely good stewards and managers.

Triangle

— This form symbolizes leadership, and many Triangles feel their purpose in this. The most characteristic feature of a true Triangle is the ability to concentrate on the main goal. Triangles are energetic, unstoppable, strong personalities who set clear goals and, as a rule, achieve them!

The most characteristic features of Rectangles

- inconsistency and unpredictability of actions during the transition period. Rectangles can vary greatly from day to day and even within a single day! Rectangles usually confuse and alarm other people, and they may deliberately avoid contact with the “person without a core.” Nevertheless, like all people, Rectangles exhibit positive qualities that attract others to them. This, first of all, is curiosity, inquisitiveness, keen interest in everything that happens and... courage!

Circles

- the best communicators among the five forms, primarily because they are the best listeners, they have high sensitivity, developed empathy - the ability to empathize, sympathize, and respond emotionally to the experiences of another person. The circle feels other people's joy and feels other people's pain as its own. Circles “cheer” for their team and are highly popular among work colleagues. However, they tend to be weak managers and business leaders.

Zigzag

. This figure symbolizes creativity, creativity, if only because it is the most unique of the five figures and the only open figure. They also want to be independent from others in their work. Then the Zigzag comes to life and begins to fulfill its main purpose - to generate new ideas and methods of work. A clear sequence of actions and monotonous activities that require perseverance are not for him.

Options for letter writing techniques

Various techniques for writing such letters are usually based on narrowing the field of possibilities and focusing on some aspect.

For example, you can write a letter of 40 sentences, each of which begins with the phrase “I am grateful to you for...”.

Phrases may be different. For example, “You should...”, “I miss...” or similar.

An important condition in this case is the limitation on quantity. It is important to type the required number of sentences, but also not to write more than required (it is better to repeat the technique a little later). Focus on the number 40. I don’t know why, you can use .

Of course, after writing a letter, it must also be destroyed. Even if it's a thank you note. Believe me, it's better this way.

You can write such letters at any time. Then when you have something to say. I know that in critical moments, some people are capable of writing several such letters a day. Which proves that it gives them relief.

How can a psychologist speak in a personal conversation?

Here we will talk about a detailed question. What should you do with a psychologist when you have just entered the office or connected to Skype? Of course, you will say hello, and the psychologist may well tell you: “I am ready to listen to your tasks and story about the situation.”

There are several points that are definitely worth mentioning. You can also talk to yourself about them, perhaps they will now help you restore relative order in your own head and build a clear picture of the situation.

State your age, the age of your partner (if the problem is related to the relationship), the age of the situation itself and minimal information about your life background.
For example:
- “I am 30 years old, my husband is 35, we have been married for 8 years, I am a housewife, I am looking after a 3-year-old child, my husband works in the IT field.”
Describe the essence of the problem.
“I feel that I have lost interest in work, I constantly feel meaningless and lack of prospects, I cannot understand where to move next”
Describe the phenomena and conditions that accompany this.
“I am haunted by constant apathy, it seems that everything is pointless, my heart began to ache, although the doctors say that everything is normal”
Describe the history of the problem, if you can formulate it.
“To be honest, I was never sure that my job was exactly what suited me, however, there were a lot of good things in terms of the team, opportunities to master new facets of activity, and I only began to really suffer from lack of fulfillment in Last year"
Try to formulate what you would like to receive.
“I want to understand whether I should change my field of activity, and if so, in what direction I could be most effectively realized”

And then the psychologist himself will ask you clarifying questions, and with the help of these questions, among other things, you can gradually move towards understanding yourself. And the question “what should I do with a psychologist?” It will go away on its own after a short time.

After all, the more competently and clearly you present your questions, the more actively the psychologist will help you, understanding where you would like to go with him. And the more intense your interaction will be.

However, you should not think that if you cannot speak to a psychologist clearly and structuredly, you will be denied help. If your head and soul are in complete confusion and you don’t understand what’s happening, describe all your experiences as they are.

And don’t be shy to admit that there’s a lot you don’t understand. For example, “I am haunted by anxiety, but I cannot understand what causes it.” Then you just need to describe the situations in which it arises. Do not hesitate to ask for help in describing some conditions, ask yourself to ask leading questions.

The main thing you should do with a psychologist is to be honest. Be yourself. Don't try to portray anything. It is worth remembering that no one will evaluate you. Your internal conflict is not “good” or “bad”, but something that needs to be resolved. This is exactly how most professional psychologists will approach your problems - with acceptance and sincere attempts to help you find a solution.

Technique use case

Some people "don't trust paper." That is, they still try to decorate it more beautifully, despite the fact that no one will see or recognize it. Some people simply find it difficult to entrust the flow of emotions to paper.

For such people, you can do the same technique, but in a reciting version.

Give yourself peace of mind. Without outside interference, without distractions. It is important that no one sees or hears you.
Place a toy, photograph or object on the chair in front of you.
Imagine that this toy is the person with whom you want to end the situation.
Speak with your voice the way you want.

For some people this option is better.

Correspondence with a psychologist has a number of advantages

Firstly, it is complete confidentiality. A psychotherapist does not even need to know the name of the person to whom he is providing psychological assistance. The main thing is that the client describes in detail and, preferably, in advance the problem for which he needed psychological help.

Secondly, correspondence with a psychologist is ideal for people who, for some reason, cannot or do not want to meet with a psychologist in person (they are embarrassed to talk about their problem face to face or live too far away to come). And communication by correspondence does not oblige you to be in an awkward situation and nevertheless contributes to the successful resolution of your problem.

Thirdly, this form of assistance has the lowest price, which will allow even people with financial problems to use this service.
Fourthly, when a person begins to formulate the content of his problem using text, this helps him to better understand himself and his inner world. It is known that many outstanding writers, analyzing their inner world and transferring their thoughts to paper, had a very good intuitive understanding of psychology. It is likely that after the sessions, some of you will also discover writing talent.

Help yourself or the “Unsent Letter” technique