Philosophers and scientists have been searching for global meaning, that is, the purpose of human existence, for centuries. Moreover, each individual has his own meaning, the loss of which causes the worst thing that can happen to a person. In this situation, the question arises of what to do if you have lost the meaning of life and don’t know how to live on.
Why the meaning of life is lost
This happens when you lack what you need most. For some it is self-realization, for another it is money, for a third it is family, for a fourth it is to be with your loved one. Everyone has their own main thing, but everything always comes down to one thing - the desire to be happy. Man strives for happiness. If there is no happiness, then there is complete apathy and misunderstanding of what to do next.
This condition provokes depression. Anything ceases to interest and delight. The sufferer experiences depression, fatigue, and not only the inability, but also the reluctance to concentrate on anything. He is constantly drawn to sleep or, on the contrary, suffers from insomnia. He looks into the future with pessimism, and in the present he is tormented by feelings of uselessness, anxiety, fear and guilt. Thoughts about death creep up more and more often.
Do you want to lose weight? The solution is here
What to do if you have lost the meaning of life. Psychologist's advice
First of all, you should understand that something needs to be done and force yourself to act. We all want something. Remember what you have always dreamed of. If this is a trip to a sunny country, pack your suitcase and go there. Ignore the fact that now you feel like you don't want it. Make yourself want it again. It’s not for nothing that they say, once you start eating, your appetite will come.
Analyze the situation and identify the reasons why you found yourself in this state. The main thing is not to judge yourself for anything. Understand where you made the mistake so you don’t repeat it in the future. Look at any circumstances positively. If you think that you are at the very bottom, tell yourself: since there is nowhere else to fall, it’s time to start rising. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Instead, overcome the suffering and begin the path to the top. Remember that the perception of the environment is subjective. It’s enough to tune your brain correctly, and everything will start to work out.
Keep a diary. Spit out your emotions on paper and over time you will see how the chaos in your head gives way to order. Don't try to express your thoughts in a structured way. You are not writing an essay, but simply throwing out what has accumulated. These notes will help you analyze changes in yourself. You can also sketch out a plan for the future.
What to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Think about what you like to do, because a hobby will bring interest and joy into your life. Perhaps you should connect your hobby with animals. The love of a cat or dog can give strength to fight any difficulties.
Make yourself a priority. Stop forcing yourself to continue existing for the sake of someone. Live for yourself and for yourself. If this is selfishness, then it is quite healthy and productive. Forget about the generally accepted, about the expectations of others, about duty. Do what you really want and don't think about time. There is enough time for your desires!
Stop ruminating about your difficult past. Start living again. No chance to improve your relationship with your spouse? Get a divorce. Tired of your boss? Quit by expressing your dissatisfaction to his face. Annoyed by the city? Move to another one. If there is something you are not happy with in your appearance, correct it. As long as you do this, you will change. One day you will realize that you have become different and there can be no return to the same.
As soon as you catch yourself thinking that life has lost all meaning, take a vacation. Get close to nature and spend time thinking. Determine the root cause of your condition. Find new meaning for yourself, set long-term goals. List three achievable goals that you want to wake up for in the morning.
If you have lost the meaning of life, you should imagine that this day is your last. Once you believe that the world will disappear tomorrow, a rethinking will occur and many things will take on meaning. Live today as if there is no tomorrow. This can bring back your joy.
At the beginning of 2020, I was lost. A few days before that I was fine, and then boom... And that’s it - I became a puzzle of 5,000 pieces scattered on the floor. In this article I will tell you how to find yourself if you are lost in life.
It can be painful to hear yourself
This period was very difficult. Nothing made me happy, but there was just some kind of pain inside. And misunderstanding: what am I doing, who needs it, why. With great effort I forced myself to get up in the morning and go to work, but the question “why?” didn't let me get back to normal. Everything around suddenly lost color. The meaning is lost.
Save to Pinterest
It was then that I learned an important thing: everything always revolves around meaning. If something doesn't matter to you, no matter how hard you try, it won't breathe life into you. You won’t be nice by force and you won’t drag someone else’s life onto yourself. Although I tried to do this for 28 years. First for parents, so that they would not scold, but praise, then for friends, so that they could be like everyone else. But for the question “how to find yourself,” these old scenarios did not work.
I made my first serious protest against the system and living someone else’s life when I moved to Cyprus. I was happy. A whole year and a half. And then boom - that same crisis, and I no longer find myself. Neither the sea, nor a happy family life, nor trips around Europe - nothing else made me happy. Because I wasn't in them. I am lost.
When from the outside your life looks like a fairy tale, it is difficult to explain to people that you feel bad.
What others thought
Some said that I was too greedy. I believe that during that period I truly heard myself for the first time. Something inside me finally rebelled and said enough is enough! It's time to become yourself.
Later, when I start interviewing stories of change for my blog , I learn that others have gone through this process in search of an answer to the question of how to find themselves.
Advice: pay attention to your moods, they are your main indicator in life. If you suddenly feel a decline, try to understand what happened and what caused it. The same goes for a burst of joy or happiness. Don't give in to the general opinion, don't think that there's something wrong with you. It’s all the same with you, it’s just that such a period has come in your life.
How to find yourself and get out of the swamp
At one point I realized that this state was dragging me down more and more, that it was time to do something. Otherwise it's scary. It's scary to live in this emptiness for the rest of my life.
I started by looking for answers in self-development blogs. Then I came across Olesya Novikova’s blog, I read the articles and tried to find my answers. The result was the understanding that I don’t like my whole life, but only that part of it that is connected with work.
I remembered that I regularly “ran away” from work. I found another and hopefully plunged into a new atmosphere. Then a new escape and a new job. In Cyprus, I again found myself in a new area, which at first even seemed interesting to me.
After some time, I again felt a strong desire to escape. Because I absolutely didn’t see the point in what I was doing. In a huge corporation, I was a small cog, doing routine work day after day. By the way, nothing has changed in the company’s work since I left.
Advice: try to determine what part of your life you are most dissatisfied with. You can start studying with the Wheel of Balance. You can read about the methodology for working with it in the article “My Someday Ideal Life.”
We are looking for how to fix the sagging part of life
I focused on finding my calling or dream job. Although there were still strong stereotypes in my head that I couldn’t live any other way. And how is it different? During this period, I read books on this topic and was constantly waiting for insight. It seemed to me that somewhere in there on the pages, someone else could answer my questions and write my story. No insights came, and I continued to devour book after book, periodically wincing with displeasure if any of the books contained advice that I had already read but had not applied.
It's so funny actually. For example, we know that 2+2 = 4 and are not looking for proof that the answer should not be four, but, say, seven. We simply apply this knowledge.
With books on finding yourself and your calling, we do exactly this. We open book after book in search of that magic pill that will help us lose weight overnight. We do not apply what we read, but look for something that will “illuminate” us, “open our eyes” or “explain everything”. We are looking for ease.
About lightness
You know what? Forget about her! It won’t be easy anymore, it will remain there, in that life where you just went with the flow, without asking yourself any questions. Finding yourself is about taking action, trying new things and listening to yourself.
After reading the books, I decided to undergo training with a career strategist. For about two months, once a week I answered questions that were too difficult for me, and in the remaining time I did the given exercises.
My brain was boiling, and I was in a state of prostration. It even seemed to me that by the end of the training I left with even more chaos in my head than before the class. But it is not so. I didn’t come out with an understanding of who I was or what my calling was, but I did come out with a plan to create my own blog and two published articles in Life Is Interesting.
Advice: Try to make a plan for the near future, make a list of everything you will do to change the situation. If you can't figure out what to do next, ask for help. Talk to a friend, brainstorm with your support team, or reach out to a coach. Knowing yourself is priceless, and the money spent will pay off later.
How to find yourself: take action and try something new!
The next eight months of my life were busy creating a blog and childish attempts to promote it “tomorrow.” I wrote articles like crazy. For a man who until that moment had no faith in his writing abilities, this was a revelation. I met people, interviewed and was inspired by other people's success stories. And I still didn’t know who I could be and how to make money from all this.
In April 2020, a former colleague of mine, who knew about my studies with a career strategist, asked me to help her with the same problem. And I thought: why not? I re-listened to the recordings of calls from a year ago and, to be honest, I was in shock. It turned out that even then, being in a lost and confused state, I answered the question of what I wanted to do. But I didn’t hear myself. Now I heard this answer again and again, spoken in my voice:
“I want to help people see opportunities, not problems.”
“I want to help people realize their dreams and goals.”
“I want more people to be able to live fuller lives.”
I repeated these words over and over again when answering questions from a career consultant. Then I decided to conduct a training course for my colleague, and the results were stunning! She shared its results in this material , and for me there was light at the end of the tunnel. During that period, it was as if I opened a floodgate and allowed my ideas to reach me. John Steinbeck once said, “Ideas are like rabbits: get a couple and soon you’ll have a dozen.”
The moment you give your ideas the right to life, something inside changes irrevocably. And I decided to take a step towards the idea of helping people achieve their dreams and goals.
Tip: Keep a notebook of ideas. Write down all your thoughts in it, even those that seem unrealistic or frivolous. Somewhere among these notes you will find your way.
Slowly but surely, you will find your path
To understand technically how the coaching process works, I signed up for the Life Coaching course in Cambridge and successfully completed it, receiving both theory and practice. And having removed another incorrect belief that I cannot conduct sessions in English. It turned out that I can!
My vague images resulted in an online course called “Change to Be!”, and I took the direction precisely on this topic. My ideas were implemented in two workbooks - on leaving your comfort zone and on working with goals. As part of the promotion of notebooks, I held an event at “Life is Interesting!” marathon with tasks “Towards change!” , gaining experience in a new format of work.
I also wrote to the MiF and the Skrebeiko publishing house, offering to study my notebook. I received replies to both letters. MiF, for example, offered to sponsor my marathons with books, and the Skrebeiko publishing house offered to collaborate in one of their projects, which is what I am doing now. But you should have seen me, typing letters to them with fingers trembling with fear and freaking out at my arrogance and courage!
What was in my way
If you look back and take a sober look at my history, you can see that there were no miracles. There was work, some attempts, “madness and courage.”
There were also ups and downs, doubts in one’s abilities, a desire to forget about everything, but again and again a return to one’s path.
Today I travel around Asia and conduct courses and consultations on realizing dreams. My search for myself took more than two years and, to tell the truth, this search is not over yet. But me at the beginning of 2020 and me now are two completely different people. It was worth it to take such a road to yourself, believe me.
Advice: be patient, don't give up. Ups and downs are the norm. Take a break if you need one. But then come back. In the end, you will only lose if you give up.
I decided to share this story for one simple reason. Because of my work, I often meet people who, like me, were once tormented by the question of how to find themselves.
I see in them the same expectations of miracles and the fact that understanding oneself is a matter of one day. I also see the expectation of guarantees at the start: financial or emotional. Once, one girl with whom we worked on the topic of creating our own tourist routes asked me: “How will I know that this is mine? Why would I enjoy doing this?” I answered her: “How do you know if you like swimming? You go, try and after that everything becomes clear to you.”
The key words here are:
try and do .
How do you understand who you are?
1. Know your strengths.
2. Track your moods, pay attention to your dreams.
3. Identify the part of life that makes you uncomfortable.
4. Don’t expect miracles and guarantees, get ready to work with yourself for a long time.
5. Write down your ideas.
6. Get ready to combine work and your “testing of the pen.”
7. Learn to work with your fears.
8. And do, do, do! Something completely new. Try it, don't wait for inspiration. They come in the process, not before.
If it’s difficult for you to figure out how to find yourself on your own, come to the marathon “It’s time to act!” , the start date of the new stream and reviews of participants can be read at the link . If you require individual work and approach, please consider consultations .
I wish you to find your way!
- Tweet
How to help a person who has lost the meaning of life
Family support plays a big role in finding new meaning. If a loved one says that he doesn’t want to live, drinks and nothing interests him, use several methods:
- Have a calm conversation, the purpose of which is to find out the causes of depression. Do you want to know what to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Do not blame or lecture your interlocutor under any circumstances. On the contrary, give him support. Try to talk less and listen more. It is important that a person independently finds the root of his illness.
- If your relative or friend likes to draw, ask him to depict on paper what is happening in his soul. This method is called art therapy. Types of art therapy:
- Drawing.
- Sand.
- Music.
- Dancing.
- Playing on stage.
- Modeling.
- Symbol-drama. The exercises were invented by the German psychiatrist K. Leiner and are addressed to the unconscious. In this case, there is no directive influence on the patient (as with hypnosis). Ask your loved one to imagine himself in a house, in a forest, in a room, or in any other place and tell in detail what he sees. In this way, a person suffering from depression gains skills in working with the subconscious.
Depression in men Symptoms
The word “depression” is on everyone’s lips today. It has become fashionable to call “depression” any bad state - melancholy, boredom, irritation with people, aggression. However, these conditions are not depression.
They are often the result of some difficult life situation. For example, men have a hard time experiencing the loss of social fulfillment: loss of a job or retirement. But as soon as they re-enter active social life and find something to do, their condition improves and the “depression” goes away.
But true depression in men has no obvious causes. “Well, what are you missing? You have everything. Work, loving family, hobbies. Why can't you live in peace? What are you looking for all the time? These questions are usually asked by loved ones of a person suffering from real depression.
Sometimes he himself does not know the answers to these questions. No matter what he does, nothing makes him happy, and all the time he is tormented by questions: “Why all this - work, family, hobbies? What is the point of this hectic life if we all leave it at one point?” Separation from people, the inability to receive joy from real life gradually awakens hatred, heavy, suffocating hatred towards this life, towards oneself, towards people. Hatred that prevents you from breathing freely and sleeping peacefully at night. Hatred, aggravating seclusion and limited connections with the outside world.
And then the search for something that could drown out this unbearable mental pain. Sometimes it’s psychology, esotericism, spiritual practices. Sometimes (and this happens more often in men than in women) - alcohol, drugs and even suicide. If only what is called the soul does not hurt. Because there is no cure for this pain in our world.
Global meaning of life
People who endlessly delve into themselves and those around them in search of an answer to the eternal question can safely be called the most unhappy. For them, personal happiness is not the point. They turn to religion, science, philosophy, but even there they do not find the answers they need.
This situation brings nothing but disappointment. The seeker of meaning has everything to experience joy, but for him earthly goods mean nothing, because he knows that all this is perishable. Lack of interest leads to depression, as a result of which a person goes online, forgets himself through drugs, or commits suicide.
Now you know what to do if you have lost the meaning of life and don’t know why you live. Do not try to give answers to the questions of eternity, because even great thinkers and scientists could not do this. Find what will make you personally happy, develop a plan to get what you want and move towards your goals. Your meaning is to be a happy person!
Why is this happening?
As a rule, people lose the meaning of their existence when they are deprived of the most expensive and valuable thing they have. It must be taken into account that each person has his own ideas about why he lives in this world. For some it is family, for others it is money, for others it is a career, for others it is the opportunity to engage in their favorite form of creativity. And so on.
Let's give a few examples from life. Example one: a woman who lived her whole life for the sake of her family suddenly found herself abandoned by her husband and, at the same time, faced with ingratitude and indifference on the part of her grown-up children. She didn’t understand, then she had to live now, and attempted suicide. Another example: a male pianist who loved his work lost his arm in an accident. Of course, a career as a musician was now impossible for him. At first he complained to friends about the loss of meaning in life, and then he began to drink heavily.
There are many such cases that can be listed, and they all clearly demonstrate how dangerous it is for a person to remain without a purpose for existence.
