What does a child’s behavior mean: 40 situations. Dictionary for parents

It is often difficult for parents to find a common language with their children. Not all mothers and fathers are able to understand the peculiarities of the child’s psyche. If a child is capricious, does not listen to his parents, or has conflicts with peers, all psychotherapists recommend that adults read books on child psychology. Thanks to works of psychological themes, you can establish relationships with children, achieve mutual understanding and trust.

Basics of child psychology

Childhood is the period of the most intense and rapid development in a person’s life. The baby learns about the world, actively absorbs knowledge and develops as a personality. All this happens against the backdrop of rapid physical growth, organ development and hormonal changes. Despite this burden, children manage to cleverly manipulate adults. So cleverly that not all adults are able to realize it. How do they do this? Children act intuitively. Every day they arrange many checks for adults, finding out the boundaries of what is permitted. Where you can achieve what you want, and where you can get serious resistance. In the process of such research, they determine which way is easier to get what you want and which adults are more likely to give in. Very young children have amazing psychological intuition. They may not yet be able to speak, but they already have an unmistakable sense of how to control their parents. Hysteria in the store is one of the ways of manipulation.

Often, educators and teachers adopt children’s tactics. They experiment, choosing a key for each of the kids. Then they carefully monitor the reaction and vigilantly notice all the positive results.

Child psychology is based on the everyday experience of a large number of teachers and parents. The study of children's behavior occurs in the process of systematic observations, conversations, collection and analysis of the products of children's activities: modeling, drawings, designing. Psychologists conduct “longitudinal sections” - studies of the development processes of the same baby over a long period. Or “cross sections,” when different groups of children are studied experimentally over a short period of time.

Child developmental psychology is often a mystery to parents.

Children behave differently at different ages, confusing parents. Several periods of mental development of children are considered.

Read more: Raising a child from 1 to 3 years old

Subject and tasks of child psychology. Current problems of modern child psychology

Basic principles of childhood psychology Read more: Methods for studying communication and relationships in a preschool group

2. Subject and tasks of child psychology. Current problems of modern child psychology

Developmental psychology studies the process of development of mental functions and personality throughout a person’s life. A person develops especially intensively at the beginning of his life - from birth to 18 years, until the rapidly growing child graduates from school and enters adulthood. In the corresponding section of developmental psychology, patterns and facts of child development are identified. This means that child psychology studies the mental development of children from birth to 18 years of age.

The main thing that distinguishes developmental psychology from other areas of psychology is the emphasis on the dynamics of development. Therefore, it is called genetic psychology (from the Greek “genesis” - origin, formation). Nevertheless, developmental psychology is closely related to other areas of psychology: general psychology, personality psychology, social, educational and differential psychology. As is known, in general psychology mental functions are studied - perception, thinking, speech, memory, attention, imagination. Developmental psychology traces the process of development of each mental function and changes in interfunctional connections at different age stages. Personality psychology examines such personal formations as motivation, self-esteem and level of aspirations, value orientations, worldview, etc., and developmental psychology answers the questions of when these formations appear and what their characteristics are at a certain age. The connection between developmental psychology and social psychology makes it possible to trace the dependence of the development and behavior of a child and then an adult on the specifics of the groups to which he belongs: the family, kindergarten group, school class, teenage groups, etc. Each age has its own, special influence of the people around the child, adults and peers. The purposeful influence of adults raising and teaching a child is studied within the framework of educational psychology. Developmental “educational psychology seems to look at the process of interaction between a child and an adult from different sides: developmental psychology from the point of view of the child, pedagogical psychology from the point of view of the educator, teacher

The subject of developmental psychology is:

— quantitative and qualitative changes in the psyche during the transition from one age group to another,

- a unique combination of psychological and behavioral characteristics for each age.

— driving forces, conditions and laws of human mental development.

Tasks:

1. Study of mental development at each age stage,

2. use of acquired knowledge in the educational process.

3. use of the theoretical framework in the practice of psychological services.

Problems of modern child psychology

1. The problem of the influence of heredity and environment on the human psyche and behavior;

2. The problem of the influence of spontaneous and organized education and upbringing on the development of children (what influences more: family, street, school?);

The problem of correlation and identification of inclinations and abilities;

The problem of the relationship between intellectual and personal changes in the mental development of a child.

3. Methodological principles for studying the child’s psyche. Stages of constructing a psychological study

The general scientific principles of the dialectical approach correspond so precisely and harmoniously to the tasks of studying the laws of child mental development that it seems as if they were specially created for researchers in the field of child psychology. The methodology of psychological research is built on the basis of the general principles of dialectical methodology. Thus, the requirement for objectivity in the study of phenomena is implemented in the methodological principle of the unity of consciousness and activity, according to which the child’s psyche is both formed and manifested in types of activity that naturally replace each other. In this case, it is important to emphasize the fact that we judge the inner mental life of a child by its external manifestations, products of children's creativity, etc.

It is impossible to understand a child’s personality and behavior without analyzing his communication with people around him (the principle of the unity of studying personality in activity and communication). It is especially important to study how personality manifests itself in activities that are significant for a child of a particular age; how the peculiar conditions of the personal microenvironment (relationships with mother, father, other family members, with peers and, to a large extent, with the educator, teacher) - external conditions - are melted into the internal psychological qualities of the human personality.

The principle of the genetic (historical) approach to the study of the child’s psyche is also important. This principle is so significant for understanding child psychology that this science itself is sometimes called genetic psychology. According to this principle, when studying the phenomena of the child’s psyche, we strive to find out how they arose, how they develop and change under the influence of the child’s interaction with adults, his own activities and communication with peers. The mentioned principle also guides the researcher to analyze the influence of specific cultural and historical conditions on the development of the psyche of children, on the formation of their personality.

A dialectical approach to the study of the development of a child’s psyche also presupposes the implementation of the principle of determinism - the cause of certain changes being determined by certain external and internal factors, the interconnection of all aspects of mental development.

It should also be said about the integrity of the child’s psyche, his entire mental make-up, bearing in mind that personality is a complex integral system where everything is interconnected and interdependent. It is important to take this into account, since individual diagnostic techniques (surveys, tests, etc.) seem to “snatch” some small piece from this whole. But this particle has meaning only within the whole phenomenon. We must always remember: any mental trait is inscribed in a complex picture and has meaning only within this picture. Therefore, the same quantitative indicators that we obtain during the study acquire meaning only when considered against the background of the child’s personality. Each individual fact obtained must be considered at a qualitative level, i.e. taking into account its inclusion in the entire internal picture of the child’s world and the melody of his behavior. Hence the need to study the child’s psyche in all its diverse connections with the people around him. It is the principle of systematicity and integrity in research that ensures this approach.

The principle of non-harm to the subject requires such an organization of the study of a child (group) in which neither the research process itself nor its results would cause any harm to the subjects (their health, condition, social status, etc.).

But this is not enough. We strive to use methods that help the development of the child and his personality. Hence, it is very important to ensure the unity of diagnosis and correction of mental development. In fact, this is the main goal. Diagnostics should not be aimed at selecting children, but at monitoring the progress of their mental development in order to correct detected deviations. Let's listen to the advice of the famous child psychologist D.B. Elkonina: “...Control over development processes should be especially careful so that the correction of possible developmental deviations begins as early as possible”

Reliance on the principle of correction in the selection of diagnostic methods and the direct implementation of diagnostics, based on the recognition of the variability of the psyche, is a prerequisite in the work of a practical psychologist and teacher-researcher.

Another principle that is important to pay attention to is the principle of impartiality. It involves avoiding bias towards both the individual subject and the children's group. The implementation of this approach largely depends on the adequacy of the methods used for the purposes of the study, their compliance with the age, gender of the subjects, experimental conditions, etc.

The ancients said that you cannot enter the same river twice. Our current current knowledge about the child is also relative. When studying a child's personality, one should take into account its continuous change and development. It is not without reason that it is recommended to study the same manifestation of personality and communication continuously, in other words, against the background of everyday observations, repeat the same tests and other tests in order to understand the current level of development of the child and his prospects.

The diagnostic activity of a psychologist, teacher, or educator involves cooperation not only with fellow teachers, but also with parents, competent communication with whom often allows one to obtain very important information about the child’s inner world. The successful implementation of the principle of cooperation and a number of other above-mentioned principles into practice is facilitated by such qualities of researchers as contact, focus on children, empathy, observation of mental manifestations, and the ability to maintain a sense of trust and sympathy among others. [6,c 34]

Thus, when studying the child’s psyche, one should take into account the methodological principles of psychological research. The possibility of using the observation method in psychology in general and child psychology in particular is based on the methodological principle of the unity of consciousness and activity. Since the child’s psyche is formed and manifested in his activities - in actions, words, gestures, facial expressions, etc., we can judge internal mental processes and states based on these external manifestations, on the basis of acts of behavior.

Stages of scientific research

Traditionally, the following stages are distinguished:

1. Definition of the goal (why, why is it being carried out?);

2. Selection of object (what individual or what kind of group is to be studied?);

3. Clarification of the subject of research (which aspects of behavior reveal the content of the mental phenomena being studied?);

4. Planning situations (in what cases or under what conditions does the subject of research reveal itself most clearly?);

5. Establishing the duration of the total research time;

6. Selecting methods for recording the research material (how to keep records?);

7. Forecasting possible errors and searching for ways to prevent them;

8. Correction of the research program;

9. Stage of research;

10. Processing and interpretation of received information.

4. Empirical methods for studying the child’s psyche: natural and formative experiment in child psychology

Experiment (from Latin “test, experience”) is the leading method of scientific knowledge, including psychological research. Aimed at identifying cause-and-effect relationships. It is characterized by the creation of optimal conditions for the study of certain phenomena, as well as targeted and controlled changes in these conditions.

Unlike observation, experiment is an active way of understanding reality; it involves the systematic intervention of a scientist in the situation under study and its management. If passive observation allows us to answer the questions “How?” How does something happen?”, then the experiment makes it possible to find an answer to a different kind of question - “Why does this happen?”

One of the main concepts when describing an experiment is a variable. This is the name for any real condition of the situation that can be changed. The experimenter manipulates the variables, while the observer waits for the change to occur, which the experimenter produces at his discretion.

Typically, an experiment involves two groups of subjects (experimental and control). A variable (one or more) is introduced into the work of the first of them, but the work of the other is not introduced. If all other experimental conditions are the same, and the groups themselves are similar in composition, then it can be proven that the hypothesis is true or false.

Depending *on the operating conditions, this method is divided into laboratory and natural.

A laboratory experiment is carried out in specially organized conditions that differ from real ones. In this case, technical means and special equipment are usually used. The actions of the subjects are completely determined by the instructions.

An experiment of this kind has its own advantages and disadvantages. Here is an approximate listing of them:

Many significant achievements in psychological science have resulted from the use of laboratory experiments. However, the results obtained are not always amenable to legitimate transfer to the surrounding reality.

A natural experiment is carried out under real conditions with the purposeful variation of some of them by the researcher. In psychology, as a rule, it is used to study behavioral characteristics.

A natural experiment aimed at solving problems of pedagogy and educational psychology is usually called psychological-pedagogical.

A significant contribution to the methodology for organizing this type of experiment was made by the domestic scientist Alexander Fedorovich Lazursky (1910). For example, the scheme he proposed for the experimental development of psychological qualities is still used, including:

— measurement of manifestations of personality traits of subjects;

— social and pedagogical influence on them in order to increase the level of lagging qualities;

— repeated measurement of manifestations of the subjects’ personal properties;

— comparison of the results of the first and second measurements;

- conclusions about the effectiveness of the implemented interventions as pedagogical techniques that led to recorded results.

Based on the nature of the researcher’s actions, a distinction is made between ascertaining and formative experiments.

The first of them involves identifying existing mental characteristics or levels of development of corresponding qualities, as well as stating the relationship of causes and consequences.

A formative experiment involves the active, purposeful influence of the researcher on the subjects in order to develop certain properties or qualities. This allows us to reveal the mechanisms, dynamics, patterns of formation of mental phenomena, and determine the conditions for their effective development.

Further, depending on the degree of development of the problem, experiments are distinguished:

search, aimed at obtaining fundamentally new results in a little-researched area. Such experiments are carried out when it is not known whether a cause-and-effect relationship exists between variables, or in cases where the nature of the variable is not established.

— clarifying, the purpose of which is to determine the boundaries within which the action of a given theory or law is widespread. In this case, the conditions, methods, and objects of research usually vary compared to the original experiments.

- critical, organized in order to refute an existing theory or law with new facts.

— reproducing, providing for the exact repetition of the experiments of predecessors to determine the reliability, reliability and objectivity of the results they obtained.

Let us briefly describe the content of the main stages of the experimental study;

1. THEORETICAL STAGE, which includes determining the research topic, preliminary formulation of the problem, studying the necessary scientific literature, clarifying the problem, choosing the object and subject of research, and formulating a hypothesis.

2. PREPARATORY STAGE, which involves drawing up an experimental program, including the selection of variables, analysis of ways to achieve the “purity” of the experiment, determination of the optimal sequence of experimental actions, development of methods for recording and analyzing the results, preparation of the necessary equipment, drawing up instructions for the subjects.

3. EXPERIMENTAL STAGE, which combines the entire set of research work provided for in advance, from instructing and motivating subjects to recording the results.

4. INTERPRETATION STAGE, the content of which is the formulation of a conclusion about confirmation or refutation of the hypothesis based on the analysis of the results obtained, as well as the preparation of a scientific report.

5. Features of psychological observations of children

Observation is the oldest method of knowledge. Its primitive form - everyday observations - is used by every person in everyday practice. By registering the facts of the surrounding social reality and his behavior, a person tries to find out the reasons for certain actions and actions.

It is certainly based on two principles:

— passivity of the subject of cognition, expressed in refusal to interfere in the processes being studied in order to preserve the naturalness of their flow;

— immediacy of perception, which implies limiting the possibility of obtaining data within the limits of a clearly presented situation of the present time (usually what is observed is what is happening “here and now”).

In psychology, observation is understood as a method of studying the mental characteristics of individuals based on recording manifestations of their behavior.

It is impossible to observe the internal, subjective essences of thinking, imagination, will, temperament, character, abilities, etc., taken by themselves, outside of specific external manifestations. The subject of observation is verbal and non-verbal acts of behavior that take place in a certain situation or environment.

Thus, when studying people, a researcher can observe:

1) speech activity (content, sequence, duration, frequency, direction, intensity...);

2) expressive reactions (expressive movements of the face, body);

3) position of bodies in space (movement, immobility, distance, speed, direction of movement...);

4) physical contacts (touching, pushing, hitting, passing, joint efforts...).

Observation is the simplest and most common of all objective methods in psychology. Scientific observation is directly in contact with ordinary everyday observation. It is necessary to highlight the general conditions that observation must satisfy in general in order to be a scientific method.

The first basic requirement is the presence of a clear goal: a clearly realized goal must guide the observer. In accordance with the purpose, an observation plan must be determined, recorded in the diagram. Planned and systematic observation constitutes its most essential feature as a scientific method. They must eliminate the element of chance inherent in everyday observation. Thus, the objectivity of observation depends, first of all, on its planning and systematicity. And, if observation comes from a clearly realized goal, then it must acquire a selective character. It is absolutely impossible to observe everything in general due to the limitless diversity of what exists. Any observation, therefore, is selective, partial.

Observation becomes a method of scientific knowledge only insofar as it is not limited to simply recording facts, but moves on to the formulation of hypotheses in order to test them against new observations.

Advantages and disadvantages of the observation method.

The most important advantage of the observation method is that it is carried out simultaneously with the development of the phenomena and processes being studied. It becomes possible to directly perceive people's behavior in specific conditions and in real time. That is, the naturalness of the operating conditions is preserved. A carefully prepared observation procedure ensures that all significant elements of the situation are recorded. This creates the prerequisites for its objective study. It is acceptable to use a variety of technical means to record data. Observation allows you to broadly, multidimensionally cover events and describe the interaction of all its participants. It does not depend on the desire of the observed to speak out or comment on the situation. It is not necessary to obtain the prior consent of the subjects. Objective observation, while retaining its importance, for the most part should be supplemented by other research methods.

The disadvantages of the observation method are divided into two groups: objective - these are those disadvantages that do not depend on the observer and subjective - these are those that directly depend on the observer, since they are associated with the personal and professional characteristics of the observer.

Objective disadvantages primarily include:

— the limited, fundamentally private nature of each observed situation. Therefore, no matter how comprehensive and deep the analysis may be, the conclusions obtained can be generalized and extended to wider situations only with the greatest caution and subject to many requirements.

— Difficulty, and often simply impossibility, of repeating observations. Social processes are irreversible, they cannot be “replayed” again so that the researcher can record the necessary features and elements of an event that has already taken place.

— High labor intensity of the method. Observation often involves the participation of a large number of fairly highly qualified people in the collection of primary information.

When diagnosing children of primary and secondary preschool age, one should keep in mind both changes in the form of play and the emergence of a new type of social activity, leading to the development of the child and interpersonal communication. Children of this age for the first time begin to show interest in their peers as individuals and engage in joint games with them. Consequently, methods should be developed in such a way that they involve both observations in individual objective activity and in a collective game of a plot-role plan. Its participants can be not only children, but also adults. In addition, at this age, to a certain extent, it is already possible to rely on the data of children’s self-awareness and on the assessments that they themselves give to other children and adults. This especially applies to the manifestation of various individual qualities in communication with other people.

In older preschool age, games with rules are added to these types of activities and elementary reflexive abilities arise. Older preschoolers not only understand and are guided in their behavior by certain rules of interpersonal interaction, especially in games, but within certain limits they can engage in one or another type of activity (study, play), analyze their own behavior in it, and evaluate themselves and the people around them.

Thus, when studying preschool children, it is necessary to take into account psychological and behavioral characteristics. This is a relatively low level of consciousness and self-awareness; dominance of involuntary cognitive processes, their low mediation by speech; poor awareness of personal qualities, inadequate self-esteem. It follows from this that the best method of collecting information and studying preschool children is observation.

Basic principles of childhood psychology Read more: Methods for studying communication and relationships in a preschool group

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Early childhood period and infancy stage

Psychoanalysts believe that the neonatal period leaves a huge imprint on the entire subsequent life of a person.
The process of birth and the first reaction to the outside world cause severe trauma to the newborn. This is the period when the baby is completely dependent on the mother. But psychological unity with it has yet to appear. The complex of liveliness at the sight of the mother’s face indicates that the baby’s mental development has successfully begun. Before this, all the movements of the newborn were chaotic. The first smile on a baby’s face is the first attempt at communication. Contact between mother and baby should be emotionally positive. This gives the baby a positive charge for further successful physical and mental development. Whereas the mother’s ignoring the baby is perceived negatively and has a negative impact on his health. Weaning a baby from its mother during this period can seriously undermine its health. Such children have delays in mental and physical development at an older age. An event can leave an imprint on a person’s entire life. A person's ability to love depends on how much love he received in childhood.

How can you help your child achieve a sense of belonging and significance?

Before you find out, you need to learn about these concepts and learn a few things for yourself.

Know that a sense of belonging is achieved through an emotional connection with mom, dad and other relatives.

A sense of significance is achieved through the ability to make decisions and control the situation.

The next time you have some kind of conflict brewing with your child, repeat to yourself, as if in his words: “Mom, I want to feel important and belong, but I don’t know how to do it.” And then think about what he is missing now. Sit down next to him, hug him and try to talk. Give him a feeling of confidence that you need him.

Nobody says that this is a panacea, and everything will be fine the first time, but you will definitely take an important step towards your child. In addition, this behavior will disrupt your normal response. And interrupting your automaticity is one of the goals.

If you are not ready to behave this way, try to avoid an argument and simply walk away, thereby showing that you do not like this situation.

Psychology of an early child

A year after birth, instead of a single unit of mother and baby, a child and an adult appear.
The baby becomes independent and independent. He can already move around on his own, play with objects and pronounce simple words. At this age, he is completely absorbed in objects. The interaction between an adult and a child is carried out through play. The baby still cannot understand what to do with the things around him. And the adult constantly explains to him the function and purpose of the thing. During the game, children master various objects and begin to understand the consequences of actions with them.

For example, when a spoon is brought to the face, the baby opens his mouth. At this age, he is already capable of transferring action. If he has learned to drink from a cup, then he repeats the same actions with a glass. Children after one year can already generalize. They actively imitate the actions of adults, and their development during this period is entirely based on perception.

Principle #3: Bad Behavior

When a child misbehaves, he always feels unwell and faces psychological problems. The task of parents is to change their attitude towards disobedience and not blame the child for this, saying that he is bad.

By entering into conflict with you, the child wants to satisfy his needs, albeit in the wrong way. When you understand this, you will make life easier for both yourself and your child, because you can help him.

Sometimes the cause of bad behavior can be internal problems that the child cannot tell you about simply because of his age. After all, he is still small and does not know how to express himself the way adults do.

Therefore, when bringing a disobedient child to a psychologist for consultation, it often turns out that the child is simply worried about family conflicts and keeps everything to himself. Moreover, the child’s behavior mirrors yours, and if in one of the quarrels you told the child “Leave me alone,” then do not be surprised that he will answer you the same way. And this is not at all because he wants to prick you more painfully, it’s just that if you say so, it means that it’s normal and he can do it. You are the best teacher for your child and if you want to raise him with dignity, start with yourself.

You should not perceive the child's reaction as a hindrance, because this way you can harm him. Look at yourself, because when you are upset or angry, the warm, cozy atmosphere at home will probably calm you down, especially if your loved ones support you and do not attack you with reproaches. Also, you should be a kind of bridge for your baby and should try to support him, find out the reason for his disobedience and understand the problem.

Remember that even the most negative reaction on your part is better than nothing. Therefore, the child will conflict with you so that you pay attention to him and not to the computer or iPhone.

After all, the baby cannot say: “Mom, lately you have been devoting little time to me, and I want to fix this.” Or - “Dad, I’ve been feeling less significant lately, and you’re treating me like you’re treating a baby.”

Read more: Left-handed child, what is he like?

Very often, parents really deprive their children of independence by simply doing everything they can for them. But this is the wrong tactic and will not do any good. Instead, you should let your child do certain things on his own, and if he calls for help, then intervene. But at the same time, do not impose your help on him and do not take over the initiative. If a child screams that he can do it himself, allow him, even if something doesn’t work out for him.

Critical age of three years

A three-year-old child actively resists adults.
He emphasizes his independence and his property. It's time to rebel with your parents. The only child in the family can become tyrannical. He tries in every way to subjugate adults and demands strict fulfillment of his desires. This period is characterized by a breakdown in the relationship between the baby and parents. Signs of separation of children from adults are self-will, stubbornness, negativism, obstinacy and devaluation of adults. All these signs indicate that the baby wants to show his individuality. He is already aware of his desires and shares them with the desires of adults. The baby tries to imitate adults who act on their own. He also wants to realize his desires. At this stage, his speech is actively being formed.

Read more: How to apologize to your best friend?

Psychologist Dmitry Karpachev about the peculiarities of three years of age in the video:

Psychological development of the child

The formation of a psychologically healthy personality of a child directly depends on the adult. Family and loved ones, educators and teachers, acquaintances and strangers - all, to one degree or another, influence the psychological development of the child. All the latest information about effective tools for adults who love children and help them grow healthy is collected in this section of the site.

Information about the child’s psychological development will help in choosing: suitable cartoons (fairy tales, programs) that will contribute to the development of the child’s imagination and creativity; high-quality literature to enrich the baby’s vocabulary and help express his emotions and thoughts; musical works; games; classes; special physical exercises to relax the mind and body, as well as cultivate stamina and fortitude. Articles about the psychology of child development were specially selected and posted on the Childdevelop website.

Psychology of preschool children

This is the period when the child moves away from the family and establishes a connection with the outside world.
The main type of activity in preschool age is play. It is through play that a preschooler tries to simulate a situation and learns to navigate the outside world. In a role-playing game, the child emotionally and then intellectually masters the entire system of human relationships. The child takes on the role of a mother or doctor and symbolically tries to imitate the behavior of an adult. He cries like a patient, or punishes his daughter like a mother. The baby enjoys acting according to the rules. A preschooler needs a friend to play with. This makes it much better to model the situation. Therefore, at this age, children strive to be in a team. They are in dire need of peers. Preschoolers connect their movements with the world around them. During this period, they begin to draw enthusiastically. Their first scribbles gradually acquire meaning for them. Children give names to their creations. Although it is difficult for an adult to discover the connection between what is drawn and the name, for a child it is there. And this is a sign of a change in the child's thinking. If earlier he liked the movements themselves, now he connects them with the world around him. By trying to more accurately display an object, the baby masters motor coordination. Thus, drawing classes stimulate the intellectual, mental and physical development of children.

Principle #2: Purposeful Behavior

You should know that any child’s behavior is purposeful. Those. With his behavior, the child is trying to evoke a certain reaction or a certain chain of reactions in you. The baby knows what will happen next and will provoke you. This is why many parents notice that quarrels with children follow a certain pattern, as if everything was thought out in advance.

And if this situation annoys you, then analyze what the baby gets in the end. After all, it is the end result of your quarrels that satisfies one of the baby’s needs.

Usually the baby either receives negative attention, or he shows you his strength and his own “I”. The latter occurs due to the fact that the child cannot express himself in the usual way and shows you his character in conflict situations. In such quarrels there is a struggle for power. And even if the baby ultimately loses this battle, he will feel important.

Therefore, knowing that any child’s behavior is purposeful, your task is to change your reaction so as not to reinforce the child’s behavior. When you do this, the child will also stop behaving in a stereotypical manner.

Read more: If a child constantly begs

Children use only those methods and methods that work. If a child behaves in the same way, then it works and he gets something. Therefore, with each of his disobedience, hysterics and other antics, remember that all this is on purpose. Of course, he does not think through every step in advance, but he subconsciously knows what will happen next and what his behavior will lead to. And all this to get your attention and participation in the life of the family.

Junior school age

When a child comes to school, a restructuring of all his systems of relationships with reality occurs. At school, a new relationship structure is added: “child - teacher.” If there is inequality within the family, then at school the principle “everyone is equal before the law” applies, where the law and the requirements of society are represented by the teacher. At school, it is important for children to learn independently. And they will also have to master this skill. To do this, teachers and parents need to create cognitive motivation in students. The kids will run to school, where they are interested and have fun. The boring process of cramming needs to be diluted with elements of the game. A verse in the form of a song will be remembered faster. It is in primary school that memorization techniques are intensively developed.

Many teachers and parents underestimate the difficulties that a student faces when learning a new object. It is necessary to consider the new topic in more detail, guide the student’s perception, and give him time to evaluate the information. At this age, children develop their will and develop disciplinary skills.

This is an age of intense intellectual development.

Read more: Best Online Child Care Courses

Overcoming crises

To ease the worries of parents, psychologists describe in detail the features of interaction with a child during periods of crisis by year:

1 year:

• comprehensively develop;
• ensure household safety;
• teach independence;
• practice categorical prohibitions using the words “must” and “impossible.”

It is strongly not recommended at this age to wean the mother, go to work, and send the baby to kindergarten until the crisis period is over.

3 years:

• be able to switch the child’s attention;
• scold only for some specific action done here and now;
• do not operate with complex categories such as conscience, honor, duty;
• avoid “shortcuts”;
• do not force help.

7 years:

• gradually replace gaming activities with educational ones;
• provide the right to choose;
• correctly point out mistakes made;
• help with homework;
• constantly be in touch with the teacher;
• do not criticize adults in their presence;
• encourage communication with peers;
• do not compare with others;
• help in solving school problems.

Teenage years:

• look for compromises and “common ground” in all situations;
• involve in the discussion of family plans, give them the opportunity to speak out, take their opinion into account;
• maintain friendly, trusting relationships;
• be genuinely interested in their hobbies;
• delegate a number of responsibilities as an expression of trust;
• do not demand immediate fulfillment of the request: give time to think;
• control your social circle.

Despite the individual features of raising children during periods of age-related crises, there are a number of common points:

1. Pay more attention to them, spend a lot of time with them.
2. Change your environment more often: travel, go hiking, take part in events, walk to different places.
3. Don't punish physically.
4. Don’t raise your voice, don’t start open conflicts, don’t get into altercations.
5. Each time, expand the circle of their rights, give them more independence, but gradually.
6. Don't be led.
7. Ensure a clear daily routine with mandatory physical activity.
8. Discuss problem situations and draw conclusions.
9. Explain to all other family members that the education system should be uniform.
10. Demonstrate correct behavior by example.

Parents must take into account all these points in order not to escalate the situation and help the child survive all the crises of growing up with minimal losses.

Adolescence

This is the turning point when puberty occurs.
It is also called critical because the child may become uncontrollable. The German philosopher and psychologist E. Spranger considered this age to be a period of growing into culture. He divided the course of adolescence into three categories.

The first type is stormy, harsh and rebellious. A kind of rebirth occurs, and a completely different adult with different qualities grows out of the teenager.

The second type proceeds smoothly. The child gradually joins adult life, acquiring the characteristics of an adult without fundamental personality changes.

The third type are teenagers who are actively engaged in self-education. They independently cope with the difficulties of the transition to adulthood, showing an iron will.

During adolescence, a teenager becomes aware of himself as an individual.

Puberty leaves its mark on this process. Children become overly sensitive and vulnerable, excitable and even aggressive. They may hate themselves and the entire world around them, and be drawn to the mysterious and incomprehensible. All forbidden things have a special attractive force for them.

This unstable period soon ends and the child lights up with optimism. Melancholy may be replaced by an increased thirst for knowledge and efficiency. Teenagers make global plans and take on impossible tasks. Children's psychology is being supplanted naturally.