My wife nags me all the time
Most men who are tired of their wife refer to the fact that their spouse constantly “nags” them, giving them no rest. Indeed, there is a type of woman who is constantly dissatisfied with something, who believe that they have the right to teach others (in particular, their spouse), impose their opinion, and endlessly demand something. It is difficult, and sometimes even impossible, to get along with such a spouse. In this case, the man’s claims are completely justified.
But before you completely burn your bridges, think about whether you are really being “sawed”? Or is this some kind of excuse, justification? Is your spouse’s bad character to blame for the fact that you, for example, haven’t bothered to fix the closet door in a few months? Perhaps you are tired not of your wife herself, but of the constant reminder of your weakness and carelessness.
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I'm tired of my wife, my wife is tired of me
Difficulties in relationships
I'm tired of my wife, my wife is tired of me
Day after day, men hear the dissatisfied cries of their wives, who demand attention to themselves. Women express their dissatisfaction in a rather rude manner, and their annoying way of conveying this information is a real hard labor for a man’s head. And no matter how the man tries to protect himself from this, every day the attacks on his head become stronger and more violent. But the funny thing is that men sincerely believe that they give their wives enough attention. But no, women are still unhappy!
I can please you, you are not the only one who feels that he is tired of his wife with her eternal claims. This is a typical misunderstanding that exists between a man and a woman. I think most of us have experienced this kind of misunderstanding, no matter how much we love our wives. Now many books have been written that describe the psychology of interaction between a man and a woman. But behind the lines of the text there is a rather simple formulation: “Men and women are different.” Each problem and situation is perceived completely differently, and hence misunderstanding and annoyance.
If your wife is tired
By nature, men don’t need much to live a happy life. A place to sleep, food and a woman to procreate. He doesn’t care about little things like a tablecloth on the table or a clean rug at the entrance to the house. Its objectives are quite clear: shelter, food and security. Having received these benefits, a man relaxes and stops striving and taking risks.
Women are more calculating and pragmatic. They understand that raising children and their well-being requires much more resources than men bring. Therefore, they begin to inspire, demand and nag him until she gets up from her usual place and takes risks to get what he doesn’t need.
This is where a conflict of interest arises, which results in quarrels. The man understands that he is great and has achieved everything. And then his wife comes and starts demanding more and more. Since she is interested in being provided for, fed and clothed. And it’s not for nothing that men say that women are always dissatisfied with something. Because in fact it is so.
What to do if your wife bothers you
Understand her strangeness. The next time your wife starts annoying you, look at her true motives. You will see that she does this not only for herself, but also for you and your family. Women are designed to push you into action. So don’t take this as your wife’s desire to send you somewhere. She does this for your benefit.
Know how to talk about perspective. You don't have to go and move mountains. It is enough to convince your wife that great opportunities are now opening up for you, and you will definitely take advantage of them. And now you need to think about how to implement all this. This position will inspire your wife, she will become kind and affectionate, and you will get much-needed free time.
Keep her busy. It is well known that a tired and busy person is not very inclined to argue and make trouble. This means that your wife still has plenty of strength. So, it's time to find something for her to do to cool her ardor. Send her to work, bring her some of your work, hang her children on her. Do everything to make her tired. And in the evening after work, you should come like a real gentleman and thank her for this. So she will be tired, and you will show affection and care for her.
My wife says I don't pay enough attention to her
A woman is selfish by nature. Most often, it all comes down to the fact that she wants to know that you simply don’t have time to think about anything else but about her. But you are a busy person, you have business and business trips, and you simply don’t have time to call her every hour. She begins to panic and worry. And you feel like you've fallen into a trap from which there is no way out.
You need to understand that your wife will almost always need your attention. Although it is possible that you, as a man, know an approach that can calm her down for a while.
Men look at love from the side of the result (I gave her a gift, I called her, I said that I love her, etc.). A woman looks at love as a process. She wants to see and feel it all again and again. As a result, you think that she is too jealous, selfish and inconsiderate.
Your most correct reaction would be to show her once again that you love her and willingly spend time with her. She wants to hear your voice again and understand that she is loved and safe.
So remember: women definitely need a show of love. It is better to give several small gifts over time than one large gift every six months. These are such strange women, but fortunately they can be counted.
Ps If your wife wants your attention, then she cares about you, and that’s great.
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My wife always demands money
A common reason that a wife is fed up may be constant “extortion” on the part of the spouse. The appetites of some ladies cross all boundaries. Fur coats, jewelry, expensive cosmetics, salons, trips - this is just a small list of the demands that some ladies place on their beloved ones. If your spouse views you as a wallet, is it worth continuing the relationship?
But the coin also has a flip side. Historically, men have been charged with the responsibility of being the breadwinner. If at one point you decide that you want to get married and have children, you must understand that it is you who bear the main burden of responsibility for the financial support of the family (regardless of whether your spouse works or not). If you cannot cover the basic needs of your family, then you should not think about divorce, but about looking for a more profitable type of activity (and, perhaps, rationalizing spending).
The wife does not understand her husband
A situation where a wife is fed up may arise due to a lack of mutual understanding. Sometimes years of living together do not bring people closer, but drive them even further apart. Indeed, living with a stranger who does not share interests, does not sympathize with problems, and does not provide support.
On the other hand, think about how often you tell your spouse about your problems? And do you tell at all? Perhaps your spouse has no idea what is bothering you. Make it a rule to talk about your problems and complaints, discuss them in a calm tone. You'll see, this will make your relationship much warmer and stronger.
Wife doesn't pay attention
It happens that a man is tired of living with his wife because she does not pay enough attention to him. Yes, before the wedding, representatives of the stronger sex look after the ladies and surround them with care. But after marriage, they want to be taken care of. Women's indifference unsettles a man and even insults him.
On the other hand, men are not always right in their accusations. Your home is clean, there is delicious food, your shirts are always washed and ironed - can’t this be called attention? Although, if business affairs are not supported by a kind human attitude, there is reason to think about it.
Special cases: solutions
Having figured out the formula for “success” for a husband and wife quarreling over trifles, you need to pay special attention to conflicting couples related to special cases:
Pregnancy
Carrying a long-awaited child is a temporary condition for a woman, so girls should not worry about their figure and attractiveness. Men “idolize” their wife, who will become a mother, so they are ready to endure various whims. In such situations, the outcome of events directly depends on the girl. If you periodically “pull yourself back” without nagging your husband over trifles, then the pregnancy period for the couple goes unnoticed.
Birth of a child
If problems in the family arose after the birth of the first child, then the situation will be “saved” only by the process of raising the child together. A man needs to learn to care for the baby from the moment of birth, periodically helping his wife with cleaning the house or cooking - common goals will bring the spouses closer together. It is important that the wife competently explain to her husband that the break in sexual activity is temporary, offering alternative ways to solve the problem. No sex is not an option, consult a doctor, find the best option that suits both of you. A woman should not lament or scold her husband for mistreating a newborn child. Treat your spouse’s awkwardness with understanding, smile and explain the nuances of the process.
Parting
People take a “break” in relationships, giving themselves time to reflect on the value of the created union. To restore the idyll and return to the family, it is recommended to periodically remind your partner who wants to separate. Signs of attention should be unobtrusive, pleasant and “accompanied” by a bit of nostalgia. If you leave a person alone with negative thoughts, then you can’t count on a positive decision.
Divorce
Thank your partner who has decided to divorce due to regular conflicts in the family for their understanding and patience. Remember the happy moments that abound in every couple’s relationship. Apologize and leave your spouse alone with his own thoughts, busy with children or his own life. If a person has lost interest in you, then nothing can prevent the separation. Otherwise, the partner will return to the family with the desire to repair the “leaky” boat of love.
After 30 years of marriage
In a relationship where spouses know absolutely everything about each other, achieving harmony is much easier. To restore a favorable atmosphere in the house, a constructive conversation between adults is enough.
Cheating husband
The return of a representative of the stronger sex to the family after making a fatal “mistake” becomes possible if the man sincerely repents, asking for forgiveness, and the wife is ready to give another chance. You can save a relationship by learning about the reasons for the action and identifying options for solving the problem. Without a constructive conversation, the situation will remain in a “suspended” state, becoming a time bomb.
Cheating wife
A girl's left turn is accompanied by a collapse of self-esteem for a man. The guy is looking for reasons for financial and sexual insolvency. Men forgive female infidelity extremely rarely, but from time to time there are exceptions to the rules. If the girl repents and realizes her guilt, then the only way out of the situation is a long conversation in a psychologist’s office. Only a doctor will restore a man’s self-esteem by advising the rules of behavior in such a situation. A wife who has stumbled is advised to constantly please her chosen one; I believe in a favorable development of events.
In a family where partners sincerely love each other, there is no place for pride and morality. Both spouses become the initiators of reconciliation.
My wife constantly complains about lack of attention
Sometimes men complain that they are tired of their wife and children because they constantly demand attention and will not leave them alone. Indeed, every person (even if he has a family) needs to have personal space and free time that he can devote exclusively to himself. And relatives should treat this with understanding.
On the other hand, you must understand that when you decide to start a family, you must say goodbye to your selfishness. Both your wife and, especially, your children are your wards for whom you are responsible. It is natural that they want to feel your attention and care. Therefore, before you get annoyed, think about whether you are paying enough attention to your family?
What to do if my wife insults me, beats me and doesn’t want to change
Hello! I understand that mostly girls write to you, but I don’t know where else to turn with my problem.
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and all this time she cannot get rid of the habit of insulting me and raising her hand. Of course, this doesn’t happen all the time and not without reason, she just doesn’t know how to behave during conflicts at all. Calling someone a name, swearing, throwing something, hitting or pushing in the heat of anger is in the order of things for her. For me, all this is unacceptable, but she, apparently, has become accustomed to this behavior since childhood and does not know how to express her emotions in any other way.
I asked her to change many times, but to no avail. In peacetime, she apologizes and says that she could not control herself, was angry and will try not to do that again. But at the next quarrel everything happens again.
It’s hard for me to share this with friends or family because they most likely won’t take the problem seriously: I’m a man and stronger. But I don’t want to answer her in the same way, I don’t believe that this will become some kind of lesson for my wife and will help her treat me more respectfully. Do you think there is any hope that she will change, or should I think about divorce?
Answer: Hello! Good for you for deciding to talk about this. It is really difficult to share such problems because of stereotypes about masculinity, especially those that have become entrenched in Russian society. However, men also suffer from domestic violence, although less often than women, but this does not make their experience any less meaningful.
To end abusive behavior, you will have to think critically about your self-esteem, your relationship, and whether you believe your wife wants to change.
Even considering that she has always been like this, it is possible to change, but only if a person is truly interested in it. Promises not to do this next time are an excuse to lull your vigilance. To make drastic changes, she will have to work very seriously on her behavior, ideally, together with a psychotherapist who will help her cope with anger.
If, despite all the persuasion and the prospect of losing you, a woman continues to behave offensively, it’s time to seriously weigh the pros and cons. Think about how her behavior affects your self-esteem, your motivation to develop, your communication with other people and your life in general. Often victims of domestic violence, both physical and emotional, experience serious psychological problems. They develop anxiety, a negative attitude towards themselves and their abilities, and lose interest in everyday activities. If you recognize yourself in at least some of the above, this is already a good reason to think about whether your marriage is so valuable.
On the other side of the scale, everything is good: reflect on how this relationship makes you feel, what you get from it. At the same time, concentrate not on the times when everything began, it bloomed and the birds sang, escorting you from the registry office to a happy future, but on today. It doesn't matter how good it was before. Memories alone won't get you far.
Such a reassessment will help you take a sober look at what your relationship is doing to your life, and decide to either leave or firmly demand change in a Tsoi manner.
The main thing you should know is that it is not normal to insult or raise a hand against your partner, no matter what level of anger the person is in right now. You don't have to accept that as part of her character at all.
Do not hesitate to seek professional psychological or legal help. In 2020, the country's first crisis center opened in St. Petersburg. It provides free help to victims of violence - sexual and physical, in and outside of partnerships. The center’s specialists work offline and remotely.
Read more: Should we stay in an abusive relationship if we love each other?
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The wife has become ugly
It happens that you are tired of your old wife because she has become ugly. Indeed, many women sin by neglecting themselves after marriage. They stop taking care of themselves, don’t watch their figure, and don’t bother with their homely appearance. Sometimes it even gets to the point of absurdity when a woman neglects such a basic procedure as removing excess “vegetation” from the body. Thus, if your spouse has turned into a slob, you need to openly tell her about it, and then act based on whether she reacts to your remark.
But if your complaints are caused by natural age-related changes (gray hair, wrinkles, loss of body elasticity, etc.), you are not entirely fair. After all, when marrying a young beauty, you had to understand that appearance is not eternal. Age and the birth of children leave their mark. And you are probably not the same as you were before. It is possible that you already have a beer belly and bald spots. Instead of reproaching your wife for losing her attractiveness, it’s better to give her a certificate to a beauty salon.
Think positively
Every man should know.
Do you feel like your wife is constantly stressed?
It’s better to try to figure out the reason yourself rather than resort to outside help, Diply recommends. By identifying the underlying causes of her anxiety, stress can be alleviated.
You are not the first to find yourself in this situation. Experts have identified 15 main reasons that create tension in relationships.
Here they are:
You don't talk to each other.
Undoubtedly, you communicate with each other. But when was the last time you had a good conversation?
If all you talk about is tomorrow's obligations or how hard your day was, you're probably stressing her out.
Spend some time together and just talk about abstract topics.
You don't change. At least the way she wants.
How many times have you discussed responsibilities in the home? How many times have you committed yourself to doing your best work?
It's no wonder she's annoyed because you're not making any effort to deliver on what you promised.
You're not asking the right questions.
Undoubtedly, couples communicate, but mostly the conversation is about obvious and everyday things.
You don't want to try to find out more, but you still want to know what's going on in her head.
If you don't know what she's thinking and feeling, how can you be a better husband to her?
You don't support romance!
You are interesting to each other when you are in love. But after a few years, you will have to make more efforts to maintain this excitement and interest in each other.
Special dates, gifts, special moments and surprises - it never gets old.
She's the only one who cooks.
Every family needs three meals a day. It’s great when you can just sit back and have someone cook for you all day, and even set the table.
No one will force you to create culinary masterpieces. But you can cook something very simple to distract your wife at least a little from the routine of daily cooking.
You don't clean.
It's not that hard to keep track of things. You can simply put scattered items back in their place, throw dirty dishes in the dishwasher to keep things looking neat and tidy.
The process of cleaning the house is also important. From time to time, some people need to vacuum their house, while others need to wash their entire home with cleaning products.
But if you still divide the work unevenly, this leads to another stress.
She feels like the only parent.
Your children have two parents, so it makes sense that you should divide your responsibilities evenly.
If child care falls entirely on one partner, especially when there is a second one who is constantly resting, this creates dissatisfaction and stress.
She doesn't feel cared for.
When was the last time you asked your wife what movie she would like to see or where she would like to go for dinner? Everyone needs love and care, and chances are your wife isn't getting it as much as she used to.
Make an effort to show her how much you appreciate her.
She needs time.
We all know the feeling of not having enough time in the day to get everything done.
You can help her: finish what she is already doing. Or clear up your schedule a little and help her with something. She will definitely be grateful to you for this.
She needs space.
Everyone knows how important it is sometimes to just lock yourself in a room and be alone. If you have children, constant noise can be very tiring, and sometimes you just need a little rest.
You can also give your wife some free time and space.
Take the kids for an outing while your wife can relax a bit in the bath and read a book.
Your priorities are wrong.
Many men give 110% that they only come home to spend the night. If you do this too, trust that your wife notices it too.
When you devote yourself completely to work, your relationships at home noticeably deteriorate. Consider whether you are doing enough for the benefit of your family.
You dominate the arguments.
Disagreements will surface, that's a fact. In arguments, do you listen to her? Or do you go straight with your arguments?
When a person cannot solve his problems with his loved one, it only causes discontent and stress.
She is responsible for everything.
Your home definitely has its own obligations, expenses, problems, etc. Of course, someone has to deal with all this. And, as a rule, it falls on women's shoulders.
Don't be just another roommate in the house. Become her assistant, not her hired worker.
She's depressed.
You are stuck in your daily routine day after day. You feel it just like your wife.
Talk to her, ask her about her feelings and help her around the house. Be a good husband because that's what she deserves.
She does everything.
Have you ever felt like your wife is constantly busy while you are just relaxing? Unfortunately, this is true.
Even when you are tired or stressed, go home if possible. And if she wants to share something that's bothering her (even if it's just a sigh), listen to her.
Do you agree with these reasons? Share your opinion in the comments!
Sex with my wife is not enjoyable
Monotony and problems in intimate life are one of the common reasons why husbands get bored with their wives. Unfortunately, after the start of life together, passion cools down quite quickly. Many begin to treat sex as a duty, and not as pleasure. Both women and men are guilty of this.
But is this problem worth destroying the family? Perhaps it’s worth taking care of rekindling the old fire and diversifying your intimate life? Surely any woman will accept such an initiative from her husband with enthusiasm.
Marriage by mistake
Is your wife getting bored? Unfortunately, when people live together for a long time, they may experience some irritation towards each other. But if the marriage was concluded in a hurry, thoughtlessly, passion will probably quickly give way to routine and mutual hostility. When people realize they have made a mistake, they become irritated. They are offended by themselves, taking out their anger on each other.
There is also a category of marriages that take place due to pregnancy. Driven by a sense of duty, young people get married. But quite often the birth of a child does not contribute to strengthening relationships, people quarrel, get irritated, and bother each other.
Whatever the reason for your ill-considered marriage, you should do what is best for both spouses. Is it worth tolerating each other any longer? Or perhaps there is a way to improve the relationship? Or is separation the only way out?
Tips for men
Family is not a toy. Therefore, instead of looking for ways to get rid of your annoying wife, you must, first of all, try to save the relationship. Here's some advice from psychologists you should listen to:
- Try to accept your spouse with all her quirks. Most likely, she is not doing anything to spite you. Try to look at annoying character traits differently, perhaps even love them.
- Talk about the future. Perhaps your spouse's irritation is due to the fact that she is not confident in you. If you constantly talk with the prospect of a future together, it will calm her down.
- Keep her busy. If the children go to kindergarten or school, and the wife stays at home, it may be worth raising the issue of her employment. If you earn enough, find your wife some hobby that will not let her get bored and distract her from stupid thoughts.
- Tell it like it is. Do not accumulate grievances and complaints within yourself, but talk about them to your spouse. Surely this will force her to look at herself from the outside and change her behavior.
- Remember the good times. After all, your relationship was once harmonious. Pleasant memories will motivate you to change something for the better.
- Have time to get bored. To prevent your wife from getting bored, you shouldn’t be together all the time. Periodically go out separately, spend time in different companies. It may even be worth practicing separate vacations.
- Don't "bring" your irritation home. Try to understand whether it is your wife who is tired of you, or whether you are simply taking out your anger on her because of troubles at work.
Why women often make scandals: the opinion of a psychologist
Almost every woman starts to make a scandal one day. No, she's not hysterical. And she doesn’t have PMS combined with menopause either. There are also no magnetic storms, a parade of planets, or a Sabbath of dark forces. And Mars did not enter into opposition with Pluto. They weren't rude on the tram. The boss didn't fire me. And my friend Lyudochka did not buy a mink coat. But the woman screams, slams the door and hangs up. And she does this, of course, to a man. Friend Lyudochka can do the same, but quarrels between two women take place with completely different dynamics. They simultaneously made noise, shouted, cried, hugged each other, and then they were either “enemies forever” or friends as usual.
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With a man everything is different. Men and a scandalous woman are usually ignored, again PMS, a parade of planets, in general - see above - “I’ll disappear for a couple of days, she’ll scream, and then you’ll see the stars will turn and the storm will calm down, and everything will be as usual.” As usual, until a new scandal
Read also: Types of conflict people: how to deal with aggressors
Or they don’t ignore, but start making excuses and apologizing, “I’m sorry, but you didn’t understand everything correctly, I’m sorry, I was busy, it seemed to you, no, that’s not what I meant at all.”
And the woman screams even more. And it makes even more of a scandal. Because he feels like a sick idiot. Without the opportunity to be heard.
But she didn’t just get into a scandal. Usually, we raise our voice when the other person can’t hear us. The more he doesn't hear us, the more I want to scream
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I believe that most women are adequate and sane. No, there are, of course, those whose mood depends on the position of the stars in the sky or the movement of geoplastics. But I definitely don’t consider them sane. And to anyone who dares to be near such a “bomb with an uncontrolled fuse” I can only say one thing: “well, you got it, brother.”
But if we talk about a pair of two sane people, then one cannot become insane without any reason. And yes, men, PMS is not such a reason, otherwise you wouldn’t even be able to leave the house, the streets would be full of screaming and raging menstruating women. Hello, Apocalypse.
If anything, if your woman screams and makes trouble, it means you haven’t heard her for quite a long time.
Read also: Should you take a break in a relationship?
She told you “darling, let’s go out somewhere, I really want to be together,” you answered “yes, okay, but I’m busy right now” and still couldn’t find the time. Or they were indignantly surprised, “well, I come home to sleep every day.” She asked “if you promised to come or do something for me at a certain time, and then you can’t, just tell me that you can’t so I don’t have to wait”, you said “Yes, of course” and forgot to tell her about the change plans. How many times have you promised “Yes, okay”, “Yes, I will do it”, “Yes, wait a little more and everything will change.”
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They stated promisingly “I hear you”, “I know I was wrong” and... nothing changed
Checking reflexes in the neurologist’s office - I hear and see well. And I probably even understand it quite well. But I’ll put everything off until later; she’s still with me, which means she’ll understand, wait and be patient.
The hero of the popular film said sadly, “Lord, how boring we live!” We have lost the spirit of adventure! We stopped climbing into the windows of the women we love.” We really live a boring life, but not because we stopped climbing through windows. But because they began to put off each other for later. We expect such total acceptance and understanding from our partner. And somehow we relax brilliantly - since we are together now, we can all be our real selves, I want to be accepted as I am. But “Real” and “Such as is” - this does not mean no one, a boor, a lazy person, a hysterical person, a rude person, a crybaby, an alcoholic, etc. And the notorious “work on relationships” means nothing more than managing YOUR own vices and shortcomings so that your partner can coexist with us.
Read also: How to survive a crisis in a relationship? TOP 3 rules
Burda Media
And when your woman makes a scandal, it means that somewhere in some way your shortcomings are out of your control and have become uncomfortable for the other party. And this discomfort has been going on for a long time. There is no need to climb into women's windows, it is important to just hear them sometimes.
READ MORE:
Why they won't marry you: five main reasons
How to recognize a real man and not fall for the “goat”?
Tips for women
Surely no woman wants to hear from her husband: “I’m tired of my wife, I want another one.” To avoid getting into such a situation, follow these recommendations:
- Communicate more. Start conversations with your spouse, tell him something interesting, ask for advice and give him advice. Sometimes simple human words of encouragement are important.
- Get rid of your routine. Constantly try to bring some kind of novelty to the relationship. Arrange romantic dinners, initiate joint outings, and so on.
- Look after yourself. Don't turn into a housewife in curlers and a greasy robe. You need to be as neat and attractive at home as you are in public.
- Remember more often what you were like before. Try to preserve in yourself those qualities for which a man once loved you.
- Be interesting. Being a good housewife is definitely important. But household chores are taken for granted. But if you are able to realize your career, or find some interesting hobby, your spouse will look at you completely differently.
- Get out of the house more often. By communicating with other people and getting new experiences, you will be charged with a good mood. This way, you won't be constantly muttering dissatisfiedly, annoying your spouse.
