How to become kinder? Due to the commercialization of most goals, kindness disappears from everyday life, and is condemned by many, called spinelessness. Therefore, this quality, highly valued previously, has soared in price today, despite the truth of its manifestation against the backdrop of bitterness. Even girls, whose nature initially contains less aggressiveness (hormonally), notice changes in their reactions, hear criticism from elders and look for advice on how to become kind.
Kindness is not about immediate actions, rather it is a life concept of actively bringing a piece of light into the world, without selfish expectation. Knowing how to become kind and sweet, and showing kindness, a girl attracts (or creates) an aura where she can breathe easier and happier; those around her also feel it, she becomes more optimistic and funnier, looks better, and becomes healthier. But, in addition to such things that can be explained by a logical relationship, events also occur when a good deed is rewarded, albeit not directly by the same person, and not by the same form of help, but having done something good, good comes in return. Here you will believe in the karmic laws of the universe and in energetic justice, although it can be explained by the attraction of what is emitted and by the desire of people to be closer to kindness.
Be grateful for what we have been given
And we have been given a lot! The ability to see this world, hear music and birds, feel touch, feel, move, breathe... This is a fantastically generous gift that we received just like that. But many people on Earth are deprived of it. We forget about this, lose the sense of the uniqueness of the abilities given to us and do not experience gratitude every hour. It is not right! According to psychologists, it is necessary to develop gratitude for what we have. Every day - before going to bed or in the morning - thank the Higher Powers for everything we have.
And by the way, I especially feel gratitude to all that exists, being closer to nature. In the forest, on the shore of the sea or lake, under the endless starry sky... Watching a fantastic picture of the sunrise or sunset, you feel delighted and want to say: thank you, Lord, for this beautiful world and for everything that you send...
Initiate the conversation yourself
It can be difficult to take the first step if you want to make friends, but it can help you appear more approachable. Don't wait for people to approach you, initiate the conversation yourself. You will immediately seem nicer, and others will be more favorable to you.
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Always say "thank you"
People are strange creatures: it costs them nothing to casually offend or laugh at someone. But to say words of gratitude for some is comparable to humiliation. One of my friends never says “thank you” to his wife when he gets up from the table. To thank, in his opinion, for example, for dinner, is a manifestation of lackeyness. Well, what can I say: the boy was raised poorly by his parents. His wife has been trying for years to eliminate the costs of raising him, but to no avail.
Meanwhile, the word “thank you” is not considered magical for nothing. Yes, you yourself know: once you say it, you always receive polite treatment and good wishes in return. So don’t be shy to thank everyone from whom you receive a service or show of concern. Thanks to this word, the world becomes kinder.
How to become softer and more positive?
To treat your interlocutors with care, you need to work on yourself and your emotions.
When a favorable period begins in life, and all your plans come true, you feel joy, you want to do something good for dear people and distant acquaintances. If a bad streak comes and everything falls out of hand, thoughts appear to do something dirty to someone, and happy friends begin to irritate. Are you going through difficult times and feel that you have become noticeably angrier? Then the problem is not with you, but with your lack of vital resources. Negative emotions are a reason to wonder if you are moving in the right direction? Maybe it's worth taking a break and doing something that gives you pleasure?
Do you want to become a kind girl? Look inside yourself. Why do good people become evil and cruel? Maybe your anger stems from past hurts? People often withdraw into themselves when going through a traumatic experience. If you have been betrayed, you can get angry and start smiling at new acquaintances, not letting anyone get close. Or you can analyze the situations that caused you pain and understand that communication does not always end in betrayal, and the person who compliments you most likely says kind words completely sincerely. When you learn to experience situations that cause pain correctly, you will stop feeling negative emotions towards everyone around you.
If you try to understand why you react so strongly to people's words, it may turn out that it is not a lack of kindness at all, but your dissatisfaction with your environment and life.
Aggression occurs when: people violate your personal boundaries, you are too vulnerable, so the harsh words of your friends make you feel hostility towards them, you help your friends to the detriment of yourself.
Advice from a psychologist on how to stop being angry and irritated with people
Don't judge anyone
Humanity has long understood that judging anyone is an unworthy activity. It’s not for nothing that there are expressions: “Do not judge and you will not be judged!”, “Who are the judges?” It is common for all people to make mistakes, to step on the same mistakes, to make mistakes and to demonstrate in other ways a lack of foresight and prudence. But they should not be condemned for this, but should be pitied and helped to get out of difficult situations. Think about it, would it be nice for you to know that your actions are being condemned? Would this help you? Of course not. So, eradicate in yourself the habit of arrogantly judging others. It is better to sympathize and empathize - the benefits from this are much greater.
Why do you need to be kind?
It would seem that the absence of bad deeds is already a great result, and is it possible to wish for more? I thought this way throughout my life until, quite by accident, I met a girl who was truly kind and brought light and positivity to everyone around her. To be honest, I was immediately interested in this - I was already thinking about how to be kinder.
It was clear that she puts a lot of effort into this, she sincerely monitors herself and her behavior, tries to be nice and not conflict with anyone. From our conversations, I learned that this behavior is her personal interpretation of a positive attitude towards the world and people, which is largely dictated by religion.
One day she found herself in a difficult situation and no one came to her aid. She learned a lesson from that situation, and decided that since there is so little kindness in the world, then it is necessary to increase its amount. It was with her that I consulted when I was thinking about how to become a kind person.
There is another side to the issue - good deeds usually return a hundredfold. It is unknown how this works, but it has been noticed more than once or twice - once you do a good deed for someone who needs it, you can expect gifts from fate in the near future. They are not always material (and this is even good), but they are always very significant for a person.
Don't criticize
None of us like criticism, that's just the way we are designed. We like to be praised and encouraged, but critical comments only spoil our mood. However, healthy criticism is considered useful, but always remember that everything is good in moderation. The main thing is not to slip into criticism. And in general, the person you criticize tends to perceive your words as a manifestation of arrogance. They say, well, yes, only you know what to do correctly in this or that case. Therefore, it is better to refrain from any critical comments altogether. And express them only when you are asked to do so.
What is the danger of uncontrolled rage?
How does anger harm the person who is angry? Uncontrolled outbursts of anger pose a serious danger to humans.
An angry person's blood pressure increases significantly, which can trigger a heart attack, as well as rupture of blood vessels with subsequent hemorrhage.
Rage is especially dangerous for people with cardiovascular diseases.
is also dangerous . Suppressed anger can lead to coronary heart disease. It also weakens the immune system, leads to the development of depression and generally shortens a person’s life expectancy.
In addition, a person prone to aggression and irritability has problems with socialization, with his perception by society.
As a consequence, there is an inability to build good relationships with others, a lack of understanding and the possibility of self-realization in society.
Treat people with understanding
Every person has the right to their own opinion and their own view of everything that happens in the world, which may differ from yours. But this should not become an obstacle in your interaction. Only limited people deny others the right to independently judge various things and phenomena. Learn to listen to the other and try to understand him. This is the basis of quality communication. This manner of communication will not only make you a pleasant and desirable interlocutor, will open people’s hearts to you, but will also expand your thinking and help you get rid of many stereotypes and prejudices.
Stop making being right a priority.
While it's certainly nice to feel like you're always right, there's a good chance you're not. If you want to be a kinder person, try to prioritize being kind rather than being right. This can be difficult, but you will quickly learn that not every conversation requires you to be the leader. This will help you behave completely differently in the future.
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Give compliments
We love when we are praised. It is important for us to please others. And even the most independent in judgments and actions, the most independent of the opinions of others on a subconscious level will always strive to earn approval. This is how man is made. Therefore, do not be stingy with compliments. It’s so simple to do something nice for a friend, loved one, or even someone you barely know. But giving compliments does not mean flattering or lying at all. This means being able to see something special in a person and tell him about it.
Are there pills for irritability?
Is it possible to remove anger with medication? In medicine, pills for anger and irritability are called sedatives .
The principle of their action is to reduce the excitation of the central nervous system, due to which a person’s emotional background is stabilized and it is easier for him to achieve calm.
The following sedatives :
- of plant origin - based on valerian, passionflower incarnate, motherwort, peony, St. John's wort;
- combined herbal preparations from several plants - Persen, Fitosed, Novo-Passit, Dormiplant;
- alcohol sedatives - Volocordin, Corvalol, Valosedan, Sedariston, Valocomid;
- bromine- based preparations - Adonis Bromine, Bromcamphor.
There are also more complex and powerful sedatives, but in order to purchase them, you need a consultation and a doctor's prescription.
Don't conflict
This does not mean that you must always give in in everything. No, we are against compromise. There are situations in which it is important to be able to defend your position. But most conflicts arise practically out of nowhere. Don't waste your precious time and energy on unnecessary bickering. Remember that some people may deliberately provoke you into conflict in order to feed on your spiritual energy in the heat of confrontation. If you see that the reason for the discord is insignificant, you should not persist - give in to the other side, and thereby you will maintain peace of mind, which you will need for more important matters.
The benefits of kindness
- Scientists have proven that kind people live longer. It turns out that being nice is good for your health and longevity.
- Cosmetologists emphasize that kind people only become more beautiful with age - it’s all about facial wrinkles and small facial expressions, which we have practically no control over. In angry and aggressive people, small facial muscles are often tense, which is why the face takes on an unpleasant expression.
- When you yourself adhere to a certain system of behavior, a certain atmosphere gradually develops around you. Who wouldn't want to live the life of a kind and sweet girl?
- Good deeds bring unexpected dividends.
- Fair people are more pleasant, they have more friends - everyone wants to be friends with a nice and calm woman.
