If you are currently in a healthy and stable relationship, marriage may be something that you are thinking about. But you may ask, “Why do people get married and why should I too?”
Of course, marriage is not for everyone. Isn't it enough to just live together?
Marriage is not a requirement for a successful lifelong partnership. In fact, more and more people are spending their lives together without even getting married.
But that doesn't mean there aren't good reasons for marriage. Some of these are more important than others, and we have called them "primary" causes.
Others offer benefits that should not form the basis of any marriage. We called them “secondary” reasons.
But to give a more balanced view, we'll also look at some bad reasons why people get married. They really have no place in any decision to tie the knot.
And just to be clear, this article is not intended to attack those people who choose not to get married. It simply means a positive advertisement for the institution of marriage.
Why does a man need marriage?
Men very often begin to doubt the need for marriage, both during the development of a serious relationship and on the eve of the wedding itself. And if this happens only at the dawn of the candy-bouquet period, then we can draw a simple conclusion - this is not the girl you dream of seeing as a wife. Or the man becomes stronger in his opinion that single life is the ideal solution to all his problems. But you should work with this and not think that marriage is completely impossible in a man’s life.
In a situation where a man falls into hysterics on the eve of a wedding, everything is much more complicated - here the result of such throwing can be a disrupted event, a state of shock for parents on both sides and the development of huge complexes on the part of the bride, who was never able to try on the status of a wife.
If we talk about statistics and the percentage of men who agree to marriage and dream of it, then, unfortunately, the numbers are not reassuring. Fewer and fewer men are choosing official relationships with full rights and responsibilities of spouses to each other.
Men don’t quite understand why they should get married if they can easily get everything in full. Women agree to relationships and cohabitation without registration, give birth to children, registering them in their last names and receiving money as single mothers, for the sake of large payments. As a result, the man gets a real wife who cooks and cleans, grooms and cherishes, but at the same time he has no obligations to her. And here the only question is ethics and morality - whether a man has enough of these qualities to stay in a relationship and build a happy family.
Not every man will be stopped by a stamp in his passport if he decides to go to the left or simply leave his wife, and without registering a marriage this is even easier to do. He packed his things, not caring about the feelings of his partner, and went into the fog, where there are no worries or troubles. Where there are no household chores and children who require attention waiting for him. And if the children have not yet been registered with the man, then this makes life completely easier for a not very good man who simply does not care about his own children and their well-being. A woman in such a relationship is not protected at all and this makes her as vulnerable as possible.
However, when deciding to register his relationship with his beloved, a man begins to look for the benefits of marriage and, of course, finds them. These include the following positive points:
- A well-equipped life, but only if the woman is truly homely and clean.
- The desire to have children and continue their family line, and many men discover a new side of themselves in the role of a father and get real pleasure from it.
- Status - a family man is more trustworthy and by default is recognized as a responsible and serious person.
- Support and comfort. Many men choose marriage in search of constant support and maximum warmth, which a person so needs in the fast pace of modern life.
It is worth noting that most often men who are in a civil marriage do not seek to register the marriage even with the great desire of the other half, and this is the woman’s mistake. You should not agree to cohabitation if you have no desire to live as a common-law wife your whole life. Why does a man get married and take on responsibility if he already gets it all for free?
Why no luck?
Psychologists identify two categories of reasons that influence a woman’s inability to create a strong and happy family:
- High self-esteem and inflated demands on the future husband. Such girls are very clearly visible from their photographs on social networks - such beauties are always too good in everything. Most often, they consider themselves superior to others, and their demands on men are from the category “I am beautiful, and therefore he is obliged!”
- Low self-esteem and the desire to marry anyone who asks, just not to be alone. Such girls not only bore you with their complexes, but also do not attract the gaze of any man for a long time.
In order to get married successfully, you need to sensibly evaluate all your strengths and weaknesses and not set yourself the goal of marrying a man whom she really does not deserve. You especially shouldn’t marry a man you managed to get online through deception or blackmail - such a marriage is unlikely to be long and happy.
Every marriage is a kind of lottery in which everyone can lose or win. It is impossible to get married and keep your family happy and prosperous without doing anything. Marriage requires constant work, compromise and concessions, mutual respect and tenderness. Each family is its own state, which has its own rules and regulations, laws and statutes. No two families are the same - and that's great.
The main thing is to understand that cohabitation is not marriage. No matter what they call such a union, it’s not the same. There is no responsibility here that is guaranteed by a stamp in the passport. There is no social approval and no legal status as husband and wife. Be that as it may, the older generation perceives such marriages with caution and distrust, believing that all this is frivolous and not for long. And most likely they are right.
Legal marriage is not only the protection of the woman, but also her children. You cannot deprive a child of an official father, who is legally responsible for all areas of the upbringing and maintenance of his children. A child should grow up in a complete family and see a model of correct relationships, which he will subsequently embody in his life and be truly happy.
Why are they forced to get married?
Often a union is concluded because the girl is already carrying a child.
Today, young people strive to remain single for as long as possible. They decide to create a serious relationship more often for the following reasons:
- strong love;
- manipulative actions of a powerful woman who wants to become a legal wife;
- unplanned pregnancy;
- influence of others and relatives.
The conclusion of a union may be the result of the realization that the time has come to start a family. Especially if there is a clear example of friends. A strong need for fatherhood can also awaken the desire to start a family.
Negative aspects of marriage - you will fall
The negative side of marriage is obesity! You heard right. Yes, obesity, that is, gaining excess weight. Every 10 years of marriage, an average of 10 kg is added. The statistics are inexorable. Obesity is associated with a risk of diabetes, vascular diseases, and high blood pressure. If you are together, then take the path of a healthy lifestyle and proper nutrition.
Marriage often leads to a limited social circle. Locked in each other, the spouses go out to dinner and then move to the sofa instead of going to the gym or going for a bike ride. If difficulties arise, you should not turn a refrigerator full of food into a reliable ally; it is better to contact a family relations specialist.
The importance of marriage
Today it is hardly possible to reliably know when and by whom the first wedding took place. The first documentary evidence of this fact was found in 2450 BC, but he was hardly the first. According to historians, a monogamous union was chosen by humanity based on two main reasons:
- High survival rate of children when raised and cared for jointly by a man and a woman.
- Reducing the mortality of children at the hands of new cohabitants who seek to “remove” heirs from a woman’s previous relationship.
Marriage made it possible to emphasize that a man and a woman belong to each other. They not only live together, have a common budget and raise their children, but also ignore flirting with other people, which allows them to live in happiness and harmony for many years.
Today, reality dictates different rules and almost every person, entering the age when they can get married, wonders why marriage is needed at all. The same question worries those who were previously married and managed to become disillusioned with it, having divorced after some time.
As a rule, the following reasons for marriage are distinguished:
- Traditions of ancestors. Everyone in the family is married. Living outside of marriage with a man is a sin, a shame and unacceptable for a particular gender. You can't be happy without a stamp in your passport and a ring on your ring finger.
- Parental pressure. They routinely insist that it’s time to get married and this may be due to completely pragmatic factors. Marriage to merge the capital of two families, to create an “empire” or simply to improve one’s financial situation.
- Moral pleasure. For real owners, a stamp can serve as a guarantee that the object of his desires and love will never escape from him.
- Solving financial issues through marriage, both men and women are trying to improve their material well-being and make it much better.
Love and the desire to be together can not be included in this list of reasons. Such relationships do not require confirmation and whether there is a stamp or not, in principle, does not matter. But most often, lovers reach the registry office.
I don't want to get married, but I want...
Any bachelor who has firm convictions that he has nothing to do “there” will name more than a dozen reasons why marriage is not for him. The most common options for such answers are as follows:
- bad example from parents;
- the man’s spoiling and admiration from all his relatives;
- boredom from constant relationships and constant search for new adventures.
According to sociological research, it has been established that there are certain points that indicate that a man is not created for marriage:
- The prejudice is that all women lose their beauty and attractiveness after marriage.
- The thought that marriage is very expensive, and divorce is even more expensive.
- Uncompromising in relationships and abandonment of the former wild and free life with friends.
- Boredom from sexual relations with a regular partner.
All this may make sense, but one way or another, a man makes his own choice and you shouldn’t think that convincing an ideological bachelor to marry means winning. There is a high probability that in a couple of years, or even months, his lifestyle will turn back to riotous parties, and his wife will be left alone with everyday life and other problems.
