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Every person has fears, regardless of age. But children and adolescents are most susceptible to them. Social life, problems in the family and at school influence the formation of personality. Therefore, the issue of identifying and treating the mental state of girls and boys is very important. Correcting fears in teenagers and exercises can help with this.
Teenage phobias can be very dangerous
Phobias at a young age are dangerous. Their development can lead to serious pathologies of the nervous system in the future. Therefore, not only teenagers themselves, but also their parents should know the features of correcting fear.
Features of the emergence of fears in adolescents
All fears have their reasons. Phobias that originate in adolescence require special attention. The fact is that the period from 11 to 16 years is a period of active self-expression of the child, the manifestation of his social activity and the formation of his worldview. It is important to understand that in adolescence a person changes his interests, hobbies and begins to show interest in the opposite sex.
Own mistakes, unfavorable circumstances, undeserved criticism from parents and teachers can leave an imprint on the child’s psyche. This affects the individual's self-esteem and social relationships.
The teenager perceives any problems with anxiety, because he has not previously been in conditions that require psychological adaptation. Psychologists are sure that this is how fears arise at the age of 11–16 years.
Main causes of fears
Teenage fears have many causes. Some of them are associated with problems in educational institutions, poor relationships with peers and teachers. Others are related to problems at home. Psychology combines all the reasons for the development of fears into two groups - biological and social. Biological reasons depend on the characteristics of the nervous system during the period of physiological development. The development of fears is based on emotional hypersensitivity, characteristic of people of “transitional” age.
Social reasons are directly related to the life of a teenager in a social group. Most often, fear arises due to constant prohibitions from teachers and parents, conflicts with peers, etc. In addition, the reasons for the development of a phobia are fear for the health of parents or worries about their death. Psychologists are sure that teenage fears have serious differences from the phobias of adults. The reason for this is the increased risk of social fears. Phobic disorders are rarely diagnosed in children.
Teenagers are very susceptible to social influences
Natural phobias
Natural phobias often arise in early childhood, when the child’s psyche can be damaged by any sharp sound, scream or unpleasant information. The manifestation of fears in the period from 11 to 16 years can be associated with various factors that cause the patient a feeling of insecurity, anxiety and panic attack. Most often, teenagers are concerned about:
- Fear of death. The most common fear. Moreover, it is not connected with his own death. Teenagers are more worried that something might happen to their mother and father. It is difficult to identify signs of such fear, because at this age young people try to hide their fear rather than talk about it.
- Fear of illness. More often it manifests itself due to existing seriously ill relatives or due to their death.
- Fear of the dark. An equally common fear that can go away with age. The reasons for it may lie in watching horror films, playing computer games, etc.
In psychology, a special place is given to night terrors, which can also be present in adolescence. Signs of such fear are expressed by periodic nightmares, screams and an excited state.
Horror movies stimulate teenage angst
Social fears
According to psychologists, adolescents’ social fears often arise from the open aggression of others. Conflict situations, especially unresolved ones, cause feelings of anxiety and even panic in adolescents. But this is not the only reason for the manifestation of social fears. Life in society has many advantages and disadvantages, which a young person is not yet able to correctly evaluate.
An example of social anxiety is public speaking. The child feels embarrassed, nervous and cannot concentrate when standing at the blackboard in front of his classmates. He feels the danger that any mistake he makes will be reflected:
- on a sense of prestige;
- on the desire for authority among peers;
- on the teacher’s attitude towards the teenager himself.
Even if a student knows the educational material, obsessive fear will affect his ability to demonstrate knowledge. As a result, the student's performance will decrease.
The consequences of poor academic performance may affect his relationship with his mother and father. Their criticism may be undeserved because he or she knows the course material very well. But the student is not able to confront his fears.
Social fears can also relate to interactions between peers. Shy individuals rarely find contact with them. This may be partly due to the failures experienced in similar situations, self-doubt, dissatisfaction with appearance and well-being in the family. During adolescence, an unhappy “first love”, subsequent separation and stress can have an impact.
How to deal with fears: 7 powerful techniques
Published: February 28, 2020 47131
Fears... Do you know how many fears can live in one person? Do you have any fears? Are you afraid of anything? Not long ago, while going through one of the trainings, I counted 86 fears in myself! This figure shocked me. Do I have 86 fears? The one that is called reactive, positive and life-affirming?
I was sure: I definitely had nothing to fear. Besides the fear of heights and the fear of drowning, these are my biggest fears, as I previously thought. Yes, the fear of death is one of the most powerful fears at the instinctual level, everything is clear about this. But besides him there are a lot of others.
Fear of loss, fear of experiencing pain, fear of being unwanted, fear of evaluation, fear of betrayal, fear of intimacy, fear of loneliness, fear of loss of control, fear of deception, fear of disappointment, fear for loved ones, fear of failure, fear of not reaching the end, fear of rejection.
After writing out the list, I realized that most of my fears were unconscious and unaccepted. This means that they lived somewhere deep inside and slowed down my progress. But without this movement there is no result, no fulfillment of goals and desires.
Different fears are needed, different fears are important...
When you realize you are experiencing fear, what immediately comes to mind? The thought “we need to get rid of him as soon as possible!”, right? Do not hurry.
Fears are given to us for a reason. Each fear performs some function and plays an important role in our lives. It warns of danger, protects the subconscious from pain and sad experiences, and helps to survive. For example, we will not cross the road in front of a speeding car or jump from a height, knowing that this could end sadly. We will not remember any bad incident, because these memories hurt.
But while protecting us, fear blocks energy. And it’s good if it’s real; more often than not, it’s fictitious. And in this case, fear hinders us; because of it, we mark time, we cannot realize our goals, fulfill our dreams. It is important to recognize your fears and accept them. And this is already a big part of success.
7 techniques for working with fears
Below I will tell you about seven techniques for working with fears. The first techniques are aimed at realizing fear, the next ones are aimed at transforming them. For some, just one method is enough; for others, you need to work through all seven. Some people can do it in one go, while others feel that these techniques need to be used constantly.
I advise you to go through all the techniques and choose your own.
Technique No. 1. Write down as detailed a list of fears as possible. Write whatever comes to mind for at least 15 minutes. Choose the fear that is relevant at the moment. You'll work on the rest later. Move on to the next techniques.
Technique No. 2. Write a letter to fear. Then use your left hand to write the fear response. I have prepared a template for such a letter for you:
Letter template:
Hello, my fear is ______(what? fear of what?). You are called________ (call him by name). When you are present, I feel ________. Fear, you are telling me that _________. And you let me know that _______. Fear, you are calling my attention to_______. And you free me from the following unwanted activities: _______ (list). Fear, you are useful to me because _______. You play the role of _________. Fear, you belong to the sphere of _________. Fear, you are like an ability that I want to develop. (name the ability) Fear, I thank you for _________. Fear, you gave me the opportunity__________. Fear, I want___________.
Now imagine that fear is you. And you received a letter. What's in it? Write the fear response with your left hand, or your right if you are left-handed.
Technique No. 3. Write a story about your fear: what it is, what it looks like, when it appeared, how it manifests itself, your actions.
Technique No. 4. Draw the fear, study it. Then draw the transformed result of that fear.
Technique No. 5. Imagine that everything you feared has already happened. What's the worst thing about this? Think about your course of action in this situation.
Technique No. 6. Bring fear to the point of absurdity in your imagination. Imagine a comical situation and laugh at it.
Technique No. 7. Come to the trainings. In many classes we deal with fears, beliefs, negative attitudes and scenarios. We will find what is blocking you and preventing you from moving in life.
The story of how Tanya got rid of her fear of meeting men
One day a student came to me, let’s call her Tatyana. She was puzzled by the question: why do the most cherished dreams remain dreams? “Many of them come true, but not all,” she said, “I really want to get married, but I come across the wrong men! I work so hard in this direction, I make efforts, but it’s as if something is blocking the fulfillment of my dreams.”
We began to figure it out, and she realized that it was all about fears. She was scared to look at men, she looked away. There was no question of talking to a man first. What kind of marriage are we talking about? Tanya whiled away the evenings in the company of a dog or another book.
We began to explore Tanya’s fear and found out that she developed it at the age of five, when she wanted to show the trolleybus driver her ticket, and at that moment he was tired or out of sorts and answered her quite rudely. Since then, it has been ingrained in her subconscious that unfamiliar men are evil and can offend.
We worked with this fear. Tanya began to notice men on the streets of the city and began to be the first to say hello and smile. In response, the male world turned towards Tanya and unfamiliar men began to help her, wish her a bon appetit in the cafe, and show her signs of attention.
Tanya stopped being afraid of men and started going on dates. Now she is happy in her relationship with her beloved, whom she is going to marry! The engagement has already taken place.
Don't be afraid of your fears, find them and look them in the eye. Find out what they are for, make friends with them, make them allies. Then the whole world will unfold before you!
With love, Asya Zaripova, teacher at the Academy of Private Life.
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When to see a doctor
Many parents are not inclined to think that their children's agitated state, anxiety and panic attacks can lead to serious health problems. But that's not true. Despite the secrecy of many teenagers, it is important to learn to identify the symptoms of fears in order to consult a doctor in a timely manner.
Psychology includes a large number of methods for identifying fears and correcting them. But the main task in finding a problem always lies on the shoulders of the teenager’s loved ones – his parents. You should consider visiting a doctor if your teenager:
- suffers from excessive intensity of manifestation of fears;
- feels ill from the effects of fear;
- experiences an inadequate reaction to an object to which he has developed a fear.
According to psychologists, a teenager can cope with other manifestations of phobias on his own (or with the help of loved ones). Most often, the manifestation of anxiety and panic quickly passes if the child does not keep the problems tormenting him within himself. Parents should help their son or daughter analyze the objects of fear and overcome them.
Visiting a psychologist will help overcome fears
How to get rid of the fear of losing control of yourself
If you are afraid of losing control of yourself and doing irreparable stupid things, then you should worry in vain. This is definitely not a threat to you. Find out why.
“The thought of Voldemort flashed through my mind,” Harry admitted. - But I immediately remembered the dementor... - Amazing! - Noticing the bewilderment in Harry's face, Lupine smiled and added: - It turns out that more than anything else in the world you are afraid of fear. It is commendable! JK Rowling "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"
There are enough Dementors in our lives, aren’t there?
Terrible news in newspapers and on TV, constantly rising prices, poor ecology, products with a lot of chemicals, that's all. Whether you want it or not, you’ll panic.
Effective exercises to relieve anxiety
Fear correction exercises can be carried out not only in a psychotherapist’s office, but also at home. Knowledge of a few simple techniques for combating anxiety will help the sufferer quickly overcome psychological difficulties.
Work on correcting fears can be done using several methods. The most common ones are:
- visualization;
- implosion;
- contact interaction.
Each of these techniques can help diagnose and overcome fears. Working with a teenager can take from several days to 2-3 months (depending on the stage of anxiety).
Visualization
The most popular correction method is visualization. The peculiarity of this technique is that it is effective with both young children and adolescents. Psychologists are confident that with the help of simple pencils and a blank sheet of paper, one can significantly influence the patient’s mental state. Therefore, it is important for the teenager to visualize (draw) his fear, analyze it and express his opinion to his parents.
Psychologists also recommend a comedic way of depicting an object of fear. This method will allow the teenager to treat his problem less acutely.
Fears are treated more effectively if the patient changes his attitude towards them during therapy and perceives them without showing panic and anxiety.
Implosion
An equally popular technique is implosion. For adults, gradual adaptation work is often used, where it is important to maintain frequent encounters with fear in order to get used to them. It's different with teenagers. Parental assistance may be required. If a student is afraid to answer at the board, he will have to do it. But it is important that close people are next to him, and not peers. His story should be aimed at recognizing his own fears. Such actions will have a positive effect in the fight against anxiety.
Contact interaction
This exercise is used for fears of neurotic origin. The goal of contact interaction is to reduce the significance of frustration or anxiety. If a teenager is afraid of a teacher, the path to correcting the fear lies through contact with him. The teacher must show that there is no need to be afraid of him. In addition, it is no less important if he himself gives examples of his own experienced manifestations of anxiety. This is how the search and determination of common interests occurs.
The only problem with using such an exercise is finding the object of fear itself. In other words, you will have to start correcting anxiety only after the teenager confesses to his parents about his fear. Without the student’s recognition, such actions are ineffective.
Tips for parents
Parents' help in overcoming their anxiety lies not only in moral support for their child, but also in preparing his personality for social life. It is important to teach him a certain culture of behavior and interaction with others. The fact is that psychology is a versatile science, and all parents who want to raise a mentally healthy child should know its “basics”. Therefore, it is important for every mother and father to take advantage of the following advice from psychologists:
- It will be easier to deal with social fears if a teenager learns to make eye contact with people. Parents should remind their children of this more often, involving them in contact at home. It will be easier for the child to find contact with people in the future.
- The different options for starting and ending a conversation should be explained. Systematic training (even in the form of a game), with greetings and farewells, will make the child more relaxed.
- All conditions should be created for the child to have friends. Any unobtrusive help will be useful.
Psychologists also advise changing your attitude towards children.
Most often, parents are very demanding of teenagers and try to control their every step or action. The fact is that such care has a negative effect on the young psyche.
A teenager may feel insecure due to the lack of the right to vote, the right to his own opinion and privacy.
