The wedding celebration is long over, and people who love each other are now living together. What else is needed for happiness? But the relationship between the couple is getting worse every day. A man and a woman do not want to spend more time together. There are fewer and fewer warm words, sex happens less and less, and flowers in vases appear even less often. They are no longer the happy lovers they were before. When children appear in the family, the situation gets worse. Husband and wife are increasingly moving away from each other. There is a way out - you need to work on relationships. There are a lot of ways to refresh a relationship, we present to your attention the top 10 most basic ones.
Don't be afraid to take a step back
Your relationship has long since reached a new level. Perhaps you are a respected couple, ideal for many families. But more and more often at breakfast you are discussing not options for evening recreation, but which lyceum to send your child to and what to buy to renovate the bathroom. You behave like partners, and not like a man and a woman, solve everyday issues, and raise children. Try taking a step back. Remember how you treated each other before. After all, it was not so long ago. Feel like a girl in love, arrange a date for your loved one, flirt. Talk to your man not only about everyday problems, ask how he is doing, listen to him with interest.
Tip four - keep contact in such a way as to save your family.
You are far from each other all day. Keep in touch. SMS or calls. But not just like that, of course. Call or text each other to share something interesting. For example, news, an idea, a proposal. Or just cheer up with your photo, or a funny photo taken along the way. Women, for example, are very pleased when men call them, send them SMS, write e-mails. But women need to be more careful with this so as not to look intrusive. A man may think that you are following him (not everyone, of course).
Interesting: Obesity in children: signs of poor body image
Appreciate the reciprocity of relationships
Once upon a time, you were happy that such a man paid attention to you. You were proud of him, boasted to your friends. But now you are used to the fact that your husband is nearby all the time. This is no longer a source of joy. Imagine for a moment that he stopped loving you and left for another woman. You still love him, but he doesn’t love you. Although they say that even unrequited love makes a person happy, in reality it is very painful and painful. Do not forget that fate gave you a chance for happiness, your relationship is mutual. Appreciate it, keep your love and the love of your man.
How to refresh your relationship
Write each other a letter
In our digital age, a regular letter in an envelope looks fresh and will surprise anyone.
Write a letter to your significant other - when you come home tired, she (or he) will be very happy to find a paper letter in the mailbox.
Opening a letter and reading handwritten lines will give you incomparable pleasure. While everyone else is writing messages on social networks and instant messengers, you will look like a real romantic.
Write about what worries you, what you have long wanted to say, write about your feelings, admit your mistakes, apologize, write a short poem or draw something. All this is very inspiring. Handwriting is more powerful than email.
Switch roles
We are all accustomed to fulfilling certain roles at home: someone cooks, another pays bills or washes and irons, someone always picks up another from work.
Try switching roles in your relationship for at least a week. For example, a man will cook, and a woman will pay all the bills, let the woman pick up her chosen one from training or work, and the man will take care of the ironing and washing.
Change your patterned behavior, experience for yourself how difficult it is to take on other responsibilities, because sometimes you stop appreciating what someone constantly does for you.
This will give you respect for your partner and his responsibilities. And then you won’t prove with foam at the mouth that cooking is nothing, but home accounting is a completely different matter.
Have sex in an unusual environment
Bring variety to your sex life, don't turn sex into work. Sexual relationships should develop and provide expression of emotions, because sex is one of the most important components of a harmonious life.
If you notice that joint sex does not bring you joy, does not fill you with a bouquet of sensations, diversify it. For example, try role-playing games or sex in a car, go to nature, to the forest, to the lake, under the starry sky.
If you want an even more unusual environment, rent a motel room, like in an American movie. Look for places and situations where you will feel each other in a way that you cannot in your bed at home. This will be remembered for a long time, and you will have something to remember in old age.
Become each other's colleagues
Another interesting method to diversify relationships is to temporarily become a colleague for your partner.
You study the work issues that your partner deals with, find out what he does and how he does it, what tools he uses, what he strives for in his professional career.
This greatly strengthens the relationship: you will appreciate more what your partner does, and you will also be able to expand your own horizons.
The main thing is to remember that relationships need to be developed, otherwise they turn into routine and routine.
It is against this background that, as a rule, problems begin: finding faults in each other, boredom or quarrels out of nowhere.
Look for interesting joint activities: sports, intellectual games, city quests, hikes, night walks, trips out of town. Don’t be like those for whom spending time together is limited to going to the store and cafe, cleaning and visiting relatives.
Love each other, desire each other, do crazy things - it inspires new achievements and fills every moment spent together with emotions.
Spend time without children
After the birth of children, the man and woman disappear, and father and mother appear. All conversations revolve around children; all free time is devoted to them. And now the husband and wife cannot answer the question of when was the last time they spent time together. To feel like a man and a woman again, you need to spend at least some time without children. Leave the children with grandma, and organize a meeting in a restaurant, just take a walk around the city, be alone. If this is not possible, have a party at home when the children go to bed. Instead of watching TV or surfing the Internet, put on a nice negligee, open a bottle of wine, and believe me, your husband will no longer have any desire to watch football or play computer games.
Don't forget about kind gestures
Previously, you always wanted to touch your partner, to feel his closeness. You took his hand more often, hugged him, kissed him. Now you do this extremely rarely. But in vain. This way your husband will feel your warmth and understand that you care about him. Men need encouragement and affection. Don't forget to give your husband affectionate touches. Kiss him before leaving for work, take his hand while watching a movie. Don't forget about kind words. Praise your man often. Then he realizes that he occupies an important place in your life, that he still interests you as a man, and not just as a breadwinner.
Enjoy the little things
Life is fleeting, but people put everything off until tomorrow. You probably also think that tomorrow you will definitely be happy. Tomorrow you will definitely give your husband a surprise, and today you will scold him for not taking out the trash. Tomorrow comes, but nothing changes in the relationship. Don't wait for tomorrow, learn to enjoy the moment. Be happy that you wake up next to your loved one. Enjoy the little things: a walk together, his smile, a joke, a trip to the cinema or theater.
Meet happy couples
Still, there is no need to become completely obsessed with each other. Everyone needs communication. Happy married couples are best suited for these purposes. You will have a great time with your friends, learn something new from their relationships, and gain new experiences. You have much more in common with them than with your single girlfriends and unmarried friends. Of course, this does not mean that you need to stop all communication with single people. But you must admit that you don’t really like it when your husband’s unmarried friends drag him to a strip club or a cafe, where they meet girls every time. You should not have a lack of communication with other people; it would be better if they were married couples.
Childhood started playing somewhere
An equally pleasant way to refresh your relationship, especially if you have a small child , is to play board, sports and other games!
- You can go outside and play badminton, kick a ball, or remember your childhood and play... Cossack Robbers! At the same time, teach your baby and have fun yourself. And sharing childhood memories will bring you closer.
- Among the board games, choose what you like best: card games, strategy games, for developing attention, etc. Or maybe you’ll take out a twister from the distant mezzanine and decide to warm up properly.
Selfishly take care of yourself
You devote all your time to your family and home; your husband is used to seeing you in the kitchen in a dressing gown. You yourself have forgotten what else interests you in life besides work and everyday life. Make time for yourself more often. Meet with friends, go shopping, beauty salons, go to the park for walks. It is very important for a woman to fill herself with feminine energy. To do this, she needs to communicate with other women, sometimes spend time alone, and find a hobby. After such a pastime, you will feel rested. Feel that you are first and foremost a woman, and not a maid, cook and dishwasher rolled into one.
Find new common interests
Spend time with your loved one, and common hobbies will help you get closer. Find new interesting activities, then your life will become exciting. Don't let your life become a routine. Do something you haven't done before. Never been ice skating? Learn. Try playing tennis, skiing. Sports games will bring you closer together, you will feel excitement, and they will also shape your figure. If sports don’t interest you at all, try yourself in cooking or design. Do anything, just together.
Love your body
You are busy all the time, work and home do not leave even a free minute. But be sure to take time for yourself. Take care of yourself, love your body. If you don't love yourself, then a man won't love you. It is not necessary to starve yourself and torture yourself in the gym. If you have extra pounds, but you are comfortable with your weight, and your husband is happy with everything, leave everything as it is. But be sure to take care of your skin and choose beautiful clothes. Look beautiful not only at work, but also at home. You have to like yourself. If this is not the case, correct the shortcomings immediately.
Full of sausage
And here I suggest leaving not with pillows, but with something heavier. But not at each other, of course. And into the wall, prepared in advance for this.
- Cover the floor and walls with paper or newspapers.
- Prepare those things or dishes that you are terribly tired of and would not mind getting rid of them.
- And throw these objects at the wall, uttering those minor complaints that you have accumulated to each other.
For example , scattered socks, dirty cups on the table, crumbs on the computer or in bed, etc.
- Have fun, you will relieve stress and relax together!
Learn to manage stress
But no amount of outfits and romance will help you improve your relationship with your husband if you lash out at him every day. It happens often. Problems at work cause irritation, a person gets angry, but he takes out all the evil on his loved ones. Most often it goes to the husband and children. Then you scold yourself, ask for forgiveness, or generally pretend that nothing happened. It is not right. Learn to manage your stress. Leave all work problems at home. Never yell at a man if he doesn't deserve it. It’s not his fault that your quarterly report doesn’t come together or you have to work on a day off. Try to always have a calm environment at home.
Now you know how you can refresh your relationship as a couple. Don’t let things take their course, if you have problems in your relationship, they will not be resolved without your participation. Work on your relationships, and then you will have many more happy moments.
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After the breakup
There are often cases when, after a breakup, one of the partners realizes that he wants everything back. In this case, you should not rush, since renewing a relationship after a breakup is not easy.
First, you need to clearly define your current feelings. The only reason to restore a relationship is love.
Don't try to get your husband back if:
- you got bored;
- love has become a habit;
- you are afraid of loneliness;
- others judge you;
- you think that being married is prestigious.
So, you realized that you love your ex-husband and want to get him back. To do this, you need to be calm and patient.
After all, establishing relationships after a breakup does not happen the same way as restoring family relationships after an ordinary quarrel.
