Girls are initially – by nature – geared towards building relationships. Even eighth-graders can already imagine what dresses they will wear at the wedding and what tune the orchestra will play. Therefore, everything that most girls dream about is somehow connected with dating, relationships and other intergender nonsense.
At the same time - and this is a big mystery for guys - as soon as it comes to dates, kisses, hugs and relationships themselves, a girl can behave very illogically.
Moreover, it is completely in the opposite direction of what she really wants. And her explanation like “So that he doesn’t think that I’m so accessible” simply blows the male mind. How can you deliberately create obstacles in the way of what you really want? From a male point of view, this is a complete nightmare. From a woman’s point of view, everything is quite logical. Moreover, many of these women’s completely illogical actions make men fall in love. And they are essentially manipulations.
For many guys, the question “How to ask a girl out on a date” is akin to a big problem.
Or rather, not even like that - but “How to invite a girl on a date in such a way that she agrees.” And, oddly enough, you need to be able to do this.
For example, if you approach the most beautiful princess in front of the entire institute and invite her to go with you to McDonald's, you will most likely receive an arrogant refusal. Because it sucks.
But if you catch the same princess, but in a different place, at a different time, and in a different mood (no, you won’t be lying in wait with an ax in the gateway, don’t even dream about it) – then the result may be completely different. Or rather, even the opposite.
Therefore, how to ask a girl out on a date is a certain skill. And by mastering this skill, you can greatly increase your efficiency. The number of girls who will agree to go on a date with you will increase significantly. And I hope that the results of these dates will be very joyful for you.
Invitation from a beautiful stranger2
Of course, a classic tackle will be rejected immediately. It is unlikely that an adequate girl, standing at a bus stop, will immediately agree to trudge with someone to the other end of the city to drink coffee from a plastic cup. It's the wrong format, and it's a gross mistake. It’s also a shame to miss out on a beauty. This means you need to act beautifully, clearly, elegantly.
First you need to get to know each other properly. First, you need to take a close look at yourself. The easiest way is to smile at the front camera to make sure there are no pieces of breakfast in your teeth, then smooth out your cowlicks, clean the corners of your eyes and chew gum. Better fruit. Frosty mint doesn't really mask the smell. Secondly, you need to come up with a reason. Just don’t do it impromptu, it will be a 100% failure. It’s better to have a ready-made script in your head in advance.
Example:
- “Girl, hello! Did you know that today is chocolate day? On this occasion, I give you chocolate! And tomorrow, at the same place, at such and such a time, there will be an ice cream distribution! Which do you like more: chocolate or cream?”
Most likely, the reaction will be quite adequate and even positive. This moment can be played up: if the girl is busy and will not be here tomorrow, then a call is simulated to the “wizard in the blue helicopter” and the delivery of delicacies is discussed. It is unlikely that the girl will deceive, 80% of the time she will name the exact place where the ice cream needs to be delivered.
Thirdly, there should always be a small present in your pocket: candy, chocolate, flower... why? To reinforce the first minutes with positivity.
Example:
“Girl, excuse me, can I ask you for help? It seems my phone is broken: the signal is not getting through, but I’m waiting for a call. Could you just make a call so that I can make sure the device is working?”
The probability that she will not refuse tends to 99.9%. This way, the phone number will be obtained with incredible ease. Well, in gratitude for checking the device, you are given a sweet. Then it’s a matter of technique, but more on that another time.
We can assume that the acquaintance went well, the phone number is in your pocket, the name is written down. Now it’s the turn of the date itself.
How to invite a girl home over the Internet
If you have no desire to ask a girl out on a date and sit for several hours in a cafe, you can try to skip this stage. Remember the approximate action plan.
Make an appointment with her in a week, and on day X write a message that you will not be able to come, citing pain in your leg/arm/back, etc. Let her know that you are very sorry, because you wanted to see her so much and spend this day together evening, and now they are forced to get sick and suffer alone.
Don't forget to accompany your message with sad emoticons and parentheses!
If she is not a heartless princess, at this moment her heart will tremble and fill with warmth and sympathy for you. Subtly hint that you will be glad if she wants to visit you and provide minimal medical assistance.
Don't forget to play the sick person believably when your compassionate lady comes to you with a bag of oranges and a pack of medicine. And be sure to thank her with a delicious dinner!
Date with a stranger friend3
A date with a girl whose communication lasted only 5 minutes is a very troublesome event. But you should understand that, having set a high bar, you will have to maintain it until victory. Are you able to? And therefore, in order not to get into trouble, you will have to make do with a walk in quiet places.
The gentleman's package has not been canceled: flowers and coffee or tea in an elegant but inexpensive establishment. We immediately need to remind you that the phone should be on silent mode so as not to interfere with the conversation. The conversation should under no circumstances be associated with an interview or questionnaire. This is terrible bad manners. There is no need to burden your counterpart with memories from your childhood. This period of “pants with a strap” is of no interest to anyone, for the time being, of course. The conversation should flow naturally.
There is also no need to delay the meeting. Firstly, you need to take into account the lady’s appearance (shoes!) and how busy she is during the day. If a young lady has spent the whole day at work and is now hobbling around in 15 cm heels, then a walk under the elms in the old park will seem like the most perverted torture. It’s easier to immediately invite them to a light dinner with dessert.
The meeting itself should not last more than three hours; you should not sit on your ears for longer. But the ending should be classic: taxi, delivery to the entrance, if the young lady does not mind being accompanied. It’s better not to ask for tea if the girl hasn’t taken the initiative. But you can hint about the next meeting. And how successful this first date was, the girl’s answer will tell you: either “yes” or “no.”
Invite at the right time
In order for a girl to agree to go on a date with you, you need to invite her at the right moment. And understanding what this right moment is is one of the keys to your successful date.
Let's look at how guys invite girls on dates:
- They write a message (if you want to be sent, write, says popular wisdom). Such an invitation will be successful only if the girl likes you madly. In other cases, it’s not a good idea.
- When a girl communicates with her friends.
- When a girl goes somewhere, about her business.
Simply put, when you ask a girl out on a date, it looks either casual, or awkward, or out of place. Accordingly, it is much easier for a girl to refuse than to find herself in an awkward or ambiguous situation.
Well, put yourself in the girl's place. An unfamiliar guy comes up to you and says something not very intelligible. At the same time, you are trying to communicate with friends. But, out of politeness, you keep up the conversation with him. There are occasional awkward pauses. And suddenly he suddenly says, “Let’s meet tomorrow, drink coffee and chat.” Do you agree? Somehow I highly doubt this.
Or the second option. You meet a guy with whom you feel unexpectedly easy and free. He tells some funny story about your mutual friends, you laugh sincerely. You're having a great time, but then he looks at his watch and says, “I have to go. Let’s meet at the bar tomorrow, have a beer, and I’ll tell you something else interesting.” What's your reaction? Most likely you will agree.
So, what is the fundamental difference between these two cases?
In the second case, the guy chose the right moment, catching you in the right mood.
This is the right moment - the moment when the girl is in the right mood, in the right place, and in the right emotional state.
For a woman, the logical component of your proposal is not particularly important - in the sense, for her it is not particularly important where exactly you go and what you plan to do there. A woman is an emotional being. Therefore, what is much more important for her is the emotions that she experiences now and that she expects to experience with you in the future.
Emotion is the key to communicating with women.
If in the first case the main emotion was awkwardness and inappropriateness, which no one, of course, wants to experience again, then you get a refusal.
In the second example, the main emotion is joy and fun. Therefore, the second person agrees, expecting to experience this emotion again.
So, what is the right moment (in order to understand how easy it is to ask a girl on a date):
- She is relaxed and in no hurry.
- She's in a good mood.
- She is laughing.
- She touches you herself.
- She asks you personal questions.
- She talks a lot about herself.
These are signs that a girl likes you, she's enjoying your company, and these are signs that it's time to ask her out.
And yes - before you invite a girl on a date, you need to win her over, win her trust, and evoke positive emotions in her.
What if it’s a refusal?4
If the refusal was received at the moment of acquaintance, then the “attacks” must be turned off beautifully. It is better to do this in continuation of the thread of conversation. Something like: “It’s a pity, the ice cream will melt and no one will get it.”
Refusal to re-date is also accepted in the continuation of the conversation: “It’s a pity, but I really wanted to know the continuation, but I’ll have to leave the intrigue.” Then take your leave and leave the lady.
Perhaps this is where the debriefing with the stranger can end. It's time to move on to a date with a girl you know.
Invitation to a date5
You'll have to turn on the "originality" function. She already knows the candidate well, so she needs to think about it. In principle, there is not much choice:
- Intrigue. You need to be interested. For example, invite her to one place that is definitely interesting to her. You can offer just that: “I know one place that will definitely interest you. Can show!"
- Mister X. Perhaps the most intriguing way. When a girl constantly receives small gifts from an unknown admirer, she will definitely begin to want to meet. At least just for the sake of curiosity.
- Classic. Or you can not bother too much and just offer to go to the cinema, to an exhibition, or sit in a cafe.
What is better: write on social networks or call by phone?
VKontakte messages are used when the correspondence logically leads to the fact that you could meet in real life. For example, at the end of a discussion of your favorite films or food, you can invite a girl to a movie or to a restaurant with one or another cuisine.
It’s easier to write on social networks or SMS, especially for shy men. A call positions a man as a confident person, so it is preferable . Depending on how you want to present yourself to a girl, choose the appropriate method.
If you feel that the girl is clearly showing sympathy, then during such correspondence you can call her on her mobile phone. It’s almost a win-win option when she says hello and writes first. In this case, the risk of being rejected is minimal.
Right to choose6
When making a classic invitation, it is extremely important to give the girl the right to choose:
- Film reel,
- culinary preference,
- The cafe itself,
- Date outdoors or indoors.
This nuance will give the girl the opportunity to correctly navigate the planning of the day. Then the date will not turn into torture. As for little things, it’s better not to force your preferences on her. Suddenly she likes chocolate ice cream, not creamy ice cream. And in no case should you ask: “Will you have ice cream?” a normal girl will always refuse. It’s better to face the fact: “What will you like: with nuts or with syrup?”
Find out 3 reasons for your fear!
You must learn that you can only overcome the “fear of approach” by practicing. The girl senses your lack of self-confidence, it can be seen from afar and such a vice cannot be hidden under clothes.
Almost always, a guy is stopped by the possibility of hearing a woman’s “NO.” Doesn't it look terrible even here? However, the fear of rejection is only half the story; the rest of the trouble is a variety of complexes, which often do not exist at all.
Main reasons:
- Fear of hearing a refusal.
- Feeling of own inferiority (Like, why does she need me, she can find something better!)
- A girlish way of putting herself above and turning guys' attempts into torture!
There is a cure for all ills and a few simple steps to the woman you want!
Planning 7
You cannot make a date based on the “here and now” principle. Firstly, the girl should have time to get herself in order. Secretly, not a single girl, even the most well-groomed one, is born with shaved legs and painted eyelashes. She may have just come home from work, and then: “At 18:00 in the park.” So you can call your wife to buy a new refrigerator. You need to invite someone on a date in advance. Otherwise, the quarterly report may be more important than walking under the stars. Then you'll have to eat ice cream in splendid isolation.
Why does a girl refuse a date?
A girl’s refusal to date hits a man’s pride hard. Does a girl actively communicate by phone or text, but as soon as it comes to asking her out on a date, she gets lost and refuses?
Sometimes it can be quite difficult to understand the answer to this question. And there can be many reasons for such behavior, not only on the first date, but also on any other.
Reason #1. The girl is afraid. Those representatives of the fair sex who are afraid of absolutely everything have not yet disappeared. Especially if such a girl has had few dates. Here you just need to give her a little time.
Reason #2. The girl is busy. The simplest reason why a girl can refuse is real business. It’s not always the case that ladies try to refuse in this way; some actually have a very busy schedule.
Reason #3. She is not interested in you as a man. Any lady has two key needs - a partner and a friend. If a girl communicates well on the phone or by text, but actively avoids dating, most likely she sees you only as a friend, but not as a potential partner.
Transition to plan "B"8
Not having backup options for a date is carelessness. And we are not talking about the fact that there should be 33 more candidates in the notebook in case of refusal. It is necessary to calculate and assume force majeure circumstances:
- Sudden deterioration in weather. This means that in addition to an umbrella, you need to know the location of the nearest cafes in order not only to shelter from the rain, but also to have dinner
- The girl is not hungry. This could also happen. Accordingly, you need to go on a date well-fed and think in advance about where else you can go. If she stubbornly refuses, then wandering aimlessly around the park can become boring. Although, suddenly he works up an appetite. But it’s better to immediately look at the posters of interesting exhibitions, and after some time she will definitely not refuse a cup of coffee.
- Detained at work. Classic. And it's double-sided. Then you need to act according to the situation. If a girl is detained, then patience will help. If you are delayed yourself, then the plan is as follows: taxi → courier with flowers → delivery of the girl to the cafe → waiter. While she waits, you can make it. But, of course, it is necessary to warn and constantly prompt at what stage the force majeure is completed.
Don't ask a girl what she wants to do
So, you were incredible, persuasive, effective, seductive, and made an appointment. And at this moment - do not make a fatal mistake that will nullify all your efforts.
If a guy asks a girl “What would you like to do” or “Where would you like to go” - the girl will most likely lose confidence and begin to slowly crawl towards the exit.
Girls do not like to take responsibility and make decisions. The girl wants a smart, handsome and strong man (like you, of course) to decide everything for her, to come up with everything, and for her to surrender to the will of the winner.
The girl wants to relax and enjoy the fact that nothing depends on her, and she is a victim of circumstances. In addition, the girl diligently avoids any responsibility. And when a guy asks: “What would you like to do,” for a girl this means only one thing: they are trying to shift responsibility onto her. And she is asked to make a decision. What any normal girl categorically does not want.
Whatever she would like to do, she will do just fine without you. She wants her to be an obedient little girl next to you. Well, she’s curious - what kind of perverted thing did you come up with, you naughty guy.
So - after you've agreed on a date and time - don't ask her what she'd like. Instead, think about what you would like.
If the girl still has an idea on how to spend your date, be sure to think about whether you can seduce this particular girl if you spend the date the way the girl wants. If the activity that the girl offers does not contribute to seduction, then it is better to reschedule the date. Or persistently offer your option.
What you should not do with a girl (at least until you have seduced her):
- Go to the cinema (it’s dark and you can’t talk);
- Go to a nightclub (where the girl will jump on you and someone else will seduce her);
- Go hiking (especially in a group);
- Go to a friend's birthday party;
- Go to a meeting of her friends;
- Go shopping;
- Play sports in her group;
- Go to the party.
These activities violate the prerequisites for a date (at least until you get laid):
- Minimum costs;
- Opportunity to get to know her better (talk);
- Just for the two of you;
- An opportunity to start seduction.
Therefore, the ideal place for a date:
- Cafe (better near your home);
- At your home (cook a meal, watch a movie, play a video game);
- In the park (it is advisable to get away from people).
The most important thing is that your date takes place according to your rules, in a place where you feel comfortable and confident, and where you have been many times. Only in this case will you be confident, relaxed, and feel at ease. These emotions will be read by the girl, and she will relax too. Which is exactly what you need.
It is very important for a girl to feel completely safe. And if you get nervous and constantly look around, the girl will also start to worry, not understanding what is happening. And the date will go so-so.
Emotions 9
Since the date is with a girl you know, it’s not forbidden to invite her to a place where it will be really fun. This is a cinema, an amusement park, a concert, and even sporting events (suddenly she is a passionate hockey fan).
What is the purpose of a first date? Of course, rapprochement. When a person is charged with positivity, has fun, and enjoys tasty treats, then he opens up much more than in ordinary situations. The main thing is not to overdo it. This is especially true when choosing a film and your own knowledge of the world of jokes. In the first case, the girl can fill everything with tears and look like a panda because of the leaking mascara, in the second case, it’s clear: the joke is good, and not just to blurt out, and you also need to be able to tell them.
Mumble = failure10
No one argues that a first date is stressful. But it’s the girl who can shake like a leaf and remain embarrassedly silent, not the initiator of the meeting. But you shouldn’t overdo it either. Some young people are convinced that self-confidence, impudence and rudeness are one and the same thing. deepest delusion. Moreover, insolence and rudeness are generally unacceptable when meeting a lady. And it doesn’t matter how this manifests itself: a reproach to the waiter or remarks towards the drivers of neighboring cars. Culture, etiquette, self-control. Here are three principles for forming the right opinion and attitude. Everything else is just an addition.
As for your own shortcomings or minor mistakes, you can play with humor. Then, such an attitude towards yourself will cause tenderness or a smile, and not a contemptuous “fie”.
How to avoid getting into trouble
Some young people perceive talking to a girl about a date as walking through a minefield. Any word or gesture may not please the chosen one, and she will do the worst thing - refuse to meet...
Of course, there is nothing catastrophic in this. Your world will not collapse. Or maybe it’s good that fate let us down.
However, the ability to charm any lady is an excellent quality that will come in handy even in neutral relationships with women. Therefore, think of the moment of invitation as an exciting game in which participation also brings enormous pleasure. And the result is a pleasant bonus.
End of the meeting11
You need to end a date in the classic way: taxi → trip together → scheduling the next meeting. But, unlike a date with a stranger, in this case it is quite possible to hear an invitation for a cup of tea. There is no point in refusing. The girl is well known, and there is nothing reprehensible in visiting her humble abode. Yes, such a date can end in wild sex. But here the girl herself will decide what and how. You can't hint, you can refuse. And in general, it’s better to act according to the situation. In the end, sex in this case will not look like “straight to bed.” After all, a couple may have known each other for more than one month.
Where is the best place to have a first date?
The best options would be: cafe, bowling alley, walk, hookah bar. You don’t need a lot of pretentiousness; you should be loved not for money, but for your originality and positive traits.
Eventually, when a pleasant evening comes to an end, you must make a new date. Tell:
- I was pleased, we had a good time, we will need to meet again. I'll call!
Inviting a good friend on a date12
Dating an old friend is a troublesome business. It would seem: we ate semolina porridge with her, and drank more than one bottle of wine on hikes, but come on, leaving the friend zone is almost impossible. Here's the thing. The girl knows the guy very well. All his habits, quirks, his life, starting with the potty. Hearing the phrase “Oh, Vasya, I love you like a brother!” little pleasant. But it's worth a try.
How to beat dinner14
Most likely, she will show up on a date in jeans and sneakers. Therefore, it is better to have dinner in an ordinary cafe without a hint of pathos. But the dinner itself can be turned into a small performance. For example, agree in advance with the staff so that when the menu is served, the waiter presents something interesting: a flower, a postcard, a note. Something that will let her know about hidden intentions.
If a girl invites you home, it is unlikely that she will have eyelashes half a meter long and a pyramid of hair. As if not pajamas and fur slippers. But this is a familiar image, right? Therefore, it is better to take pizza, rolls and flowers with you rather than send a courier. Or order so that it all arrives a little later (except for flowers).
How to behave at a romantic meeting
Generations, views, foundations change, but the desire to see a confident, strong, intelligent man in front of you remains. However, it is important not to confuse confidence with persistence, otherwise this may cause doubts in the lady of your heart about your intentions.
On a first date, awkwardness and embarrassment are inevitable, so take the initiative completely into your own hands this evening.
Any girl will be pleased if they show interest in her as a person. Be interested in her inner world and look for similarities between you. This approach will allow you to determine whether you are the heroes of the same novel, or whether this relationship is unable to develop into something more.
