3 reasons not to be afraid of childbirth

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Whatever one may say, it will be difficult to find a more solemn and important event in a woman’s life than childbirth. Among other things, everyone, without exception, knows how painful the process of giving birth to a little person can be, therefore it is quite natural and normal to be afraid of this hour. However, each woman is afraid in her own way, for example, those who become mothers for the first time worry about the unknown, and those who already have relevant experience behind them, on the contrary, worry about what they have already experienced once. So how to get ready for childbirth and not be afraid, how to convince yourself that fears will not help and prepare for childbirth without unnecessary fuss and stupid fear? In fact, all this depends on many factors that are worth considering before the little baby finally asks to be born.

Think positive

When a person sets himself up to be positive, his life becomes easier. Even if something goes wrong, he will be able to correct many problems with his attitude to the situation. A person who believes in the best will not worry and will be able to think soberly and without prejudice. If a woman escalates the situation on her own, it will be difficult for her to concentrate on the doctors’ recommendations. The lady will be suspicious and distrustful. It will seem to her that the whole world has turned against her. Is it possible to reason logically in such a state? No. The brain will refuse to think because it will be too busy worrying.

The best advice on how not to be afraid of childbirth is to calm down and not be nervous. Even if something exciting happens in your life, there is no need to worry. You need to accept the situation as a fact and move on. For example, if at your next ultrasound they tell you that you will not be able to give birth on your own because the baby is wrapped in the umbilical cord, you need to accept this situation. Don't put yourself under stress. After all, many women survive a cesarean section well and, a few years after the operation, give birth again, but on their own. So don't beat yourself up. A calm state of mind will help you to adequately perceive information and make the best decisions.

About the rudeness of the staff

We often hear about this from those who are not going to the maternity hospital on principle: having failed to overcome their fear of getting pregnant or for some other reason. Those who have visited the maternity hospital more often remember a kind nanny who will give water to a tired mother in labor and help her move from the gurney to the bed, or a stern midwife with a commanding voice.

Before and during childbirth, medical staff have to monitor the woman’s condition and perform the necessary manipulations. Sometimes a woman, tired from contractions and pushing, does not have time to respond to the midwife’s command: push harder or relax. But the process itself depends on the timeliness of execution of this command. In this case, fear of childbirth or fear of rudeness can play a negative role: the command is perceived as rudeness, and the midwife’s reprimand for failure to comply with the command as rudeness.

Only by coping with the phobia does a woman become able to correctly perceive what is happening: the doctor knows better what needs to be done at each specific moment. Childbirth is a natural physiological process, which in the vast majority of cases occurs according to a certain scenario, and an experienced specialist simply guides a woman encountering this phenomenon for the first time. If you are afraid that doctors will be rude, try to trust them and do what they say, because sometimes the midwife does not have time to say the magic word “please”.

Start meditating

Do you do breathing practices? Not yet? Then get busy. A psychologist’s advice on how not to be afraid of childbirth would be this: start mastering proper breathing. There are many techniques that can help you breathe properly during contractions. At the moment when the child is ready to see this world, you need to provide your child with a sufficient amount of oxygen as much as possible. Simply breathing deeply is not enough. It is important to take not only deep breaths, but, alternating them with exhalations, to maintain a certain rhythm.

In order not to get lost during childbirth, you need to worry about developing the habit of the mentioned breathing in advance. You can take specialized courses for this, or you can sign up for meditation courses. What is the advantage of the second courses over the first? The fact is that, in addition to proper breathing, a girl will be able, at will, and in a short period of time, to get rid of unnecessary thoughts that overwhelm her head. And the fewer anxious thoughts a woman giving birth has, the better. The words of the doctor and nurses will be able to quickly reach the ladies’ consciousness.

Physiology and anatomy: I don’t want to give birth myself, I want a caesarean section

To begin with, you need to carefully study what awaits you, that is, understand what stages of childbirth you will have to endure. It is worth paying a lot of attention to these stages, and since you will be busy acquiring interesting knowledge and skills, you will have no time to worry about fear.

Photo from the site: lovingmama.ru

The longest of all is the period during which contractions appear, and it can last for five, seven, or even twelve hours, differently for each woman.
A very important point is also proper breathing, with the help of which the mother provides the baby with a sufficient amount of oxygen. It’s better to focus just on this, having studied all the nuances, and put aside issues of pain and not think about it at all.
This will be followed by pushing, lasting from twenty minutes to two hours, as a result of which the uterus contracts, pushing the long-awaited baby into the world.

You need to know that there is no need to worry about the baby if the pregnancy proceeded normally, because he is reliably protected from the process itself by a special mechanism - the state of hibernation. That is, the passage of the baby through narrow and cramped passages, strong compression will not bring him, not only pain, but even discomfort, which is also what the vast majority of mothers fear. The fact is that he seems to fall into a state of suspended animation, he does not move, does not see or hear, and also does not feel any pain.

Photo from the site: 9months.ru

That is why you should not count on the fact that during a caesarean section you will be able to get by with little blood. Moreover, it is worth understanding that nature specially “thought out” just such a mechanism for the birth of a child in order to launch special neurohormonal processes in a woman’s body, making her actually a mother. And for the baby, a caesarean section will not bring anything good, since he appears unprepared in this world, such children often get sick later, grow weak and nervous.

Today, a caesarean section can be prescribed not only due to pathologies of fetal development or problems with the health of the mother, but also at a special request, but this should not be done, since it will not bring anything good, and it will not relieve pain, either. as most often, such operations are performed using local anesthesia, that is, you will not be under the influence of anesthesia, and the scars and incisions will hurt for at least a month, or even more. Among other things, having already had a caesarean section once without any particular reason, you can very often hear phrases like “I’m afraid to give birth to a second child, what should I do and what should I do?”, that is, the fear definitely doesn’t go away.

The less you know the better you sleep

Do you want to be well prepared for childbirth, and therefore decided in advance to watch numerous videos about how women went through this process? Should not be doing that. Most videos on the Internet are posted there just for the sake of sensation and only escalate the atmosphere. In the videos, women are worried, screaming in pain, moaning and asking for help. Are these the kind of videos you want to watch? No. So why do you need to see these horrors? All girls from a certain age have a good understanding of the process of childbirth even without specialized videos. Learning to give birth at home using interactive courses is not the best idea. If you need moral support, sign up for real courses. In the virtual space, most courses are designed to get you to pay money for videos that you don’t really need to watch.

Have you already seen how childbirth goes? “I’m afraid to give birth” is a phrase that can be heard from women who are too keen on self-education and reading all the information about the process of childbirth that they managed to find. Do you think this kind of information will make you smarter? Nothing like this. It will only fray your nerves. You don’t need to know more than a girl who gives birth to her first child at 16 knows, without thinking about the process or the pain.

What to do if you are afraid to give birth for other reasons?

Possible pain syndrome is not the only reason why expectant mothers say: “I’m very afraid to give birth.” Other fears may be hidden behind the fear of childbearing. After carefully analyzing their experiences, women may discover the following fears.

I'm afraid to give birth because I'll be a bad mother

The birth of a child is a kind of psychological milestone that involves parting with freedom and a carefree lifestyle. Fear of taking responsibility for the life of a little person is a common cause of increased anxiety before childbirth. Understand that fear of not being able to cope with maternal responsibilities is already evidence that you consciously approach the role of a parent and your baby is in good hands. You can gain more experience and knowledge in caring for and raising children from specialized literature and by looking after the children of your friends who have already given birth.

I'm afraid to give birth because complications may arise and the child will be born sick.

The likelihood of risks is calculated during medical examinations. Early prevention helps prevent the development of possible problems. The desire to control everything plays an important role in the emergence of fear of complications. It is important to trust the experience of specialists. Each duty team must include a neonatologist, an anesthesiologist and a resuscitator, ready to provide the necessary assistance.

I'm afraid to give birth because I don't want to lose my figure

Sagging breasts, stretch marks, extra pounds are the nightmares of many women who decide to become pregnant. To maintain health and an attractive appearance, it is important to eat properly and take care of your body while carrying a child. Forget grandma’s axiom “eat for two.” Weight gain during pregnancy ranges from five to twelve kilograms, which can then be easily gotten rid of if you do not overeat. If you haven't paid enough attention to physical activity before, it's still not too late to start playing sports. It’s just that during pregnancy, physical activity should be moderate and agreed with your doctor.

I'm afraid to get pregnant and give birth, because I will lose the opportunity to have a career and will become financially dependent on my husband.

Discuss sharing childcare responsibilities with your husband, consider the possibilities of working remotely on the Internet. Be inspired by examples of famous women who were able to combine career and family.

Childbirth preparation courses

Do you want to get moral support and be positive? Then take special courses that are held at all major clinics. Such courses can be either paid or free. They teach the information equally well, so don't think that if you pay a doctor, he'll tell you more.

What do such courses provide? The doctor explains to expectant mothers how the birth process goes step by step. The specialist says that there is no point in whining: “I’m afraid of pain during childbirth,” since most girls who experience hellish torment have screwed themselves up and created a situation in which they really feel uncomfortable. The doctor will explain how to breathe correctly and how to behave after contractions begin. He will explain all the benefits of water birth, shower birth, partner birth, etc. The gynecologist will share his experience and convince you that there is nothing to be afraid of. Similar courses should be taken by all women who give birth for the first time. It is better to get all the necessary information from a good specialist than to gain fragmentary knowledge from videos on the Internet.

Why is there fear of a second birth?

It is believed that people fear the first birth because of ignorance, and the second because the woman in labor already knows what awaits her. At the same time, experts say that women’s first births are more difficult and painful than all subsequent ones. This is explained by the fact that the body has not previously pressed participation in labor, the woman does not have a complete idea of how everything will happen, and everyone’s pain threshold is individual. However, many people fear their second birth more than their first.

This may be due to the following reasons:

1. Difficult birth

For some women, the first birth could be a difficult ordeal: long, with excruciating pain and complications, with bleeding or loss of consciousness. After the first birth, they develop muscle memory, which leads to an increase in anxiety and excitability before the second. And closer to the cherished date, anxiety begins to develop into real fear and panic.

2. Poor care in the maternity hospital

Before giving birth, the expectant mother needs the support of not only her spouse and close relatives, but also the medical staff of the maternity hospital. There are times when the midwife not only does not provide support, but also begins to be rude and negatively influence the woman in labor, or intimidate her if she begins to make any mistakes in a panic.

3. Negative emotions

Some women, before their second birth, discuss the upcoming event with other women in labor, share their impressions with each other and discuss pain in detail. After reading something like this, a woman begins to automatically be in a bad mood.

4. Negative experiences of others

Once in a room with other women, the woman in labor begins to communicate with them and learns about their experiences, both positive and negative. And it is the negative experience that is described in all colors and all the details. Having heard enough stories, a woman before giving birth has a vivid but unpleasant picture in her head, causing fear and panic.

Whatever the reason for the fear of a second birth, we must fight it, because the health and well-being of both the expectant mother and the child are at stake.

Don't listen to your friends

Are there many girls in your social circle who have already become mothers? They will definitely tell you about all the horrors of childbirth. Moreover, in some companies, women will tell completely wild stories, literally competing to see who had the worst birth experience. Why are they doing that? This is what ladies do who have nothing to be proud of in life. Remember the pensioners who sit at the entrance. What are they arguing about? About who has a worse life. Many young mothers do the same.

You don't know what to do if you're afraid of childbirth? This is a normal condition for a pregnant woman. But you shouldn't ask your friends for advice. You can ask them about the clinic where they gave birth and about the specialists who delivered the baby. But this information should be limited. No need to listen to horror stories. They will only scare you. Believe that everything will be fine and don’t beat yourself up. Girlfriends don't always understand what they say and why they do it. The girls may even regret what they said later, but it will be too late. Therefore, you should not draw information from all sources. Find a specialist you trust and clarify all your questions with him.

Housing problem

“How I want a daughter, and my husband is asking for a second one, but the mortgage is nipping all our dreams in the bud! We’ve only been paying for two years, and there’s another eight to go. With two children it will be a bit cramped in a one-room apartment. If only we had a bigger apartment, I’d already give birth to my second, and maybe even my third!” — says young mother Tatyana Nesterova. And she is not alone in her thoughts.

When is the best time to plan a second pregnancy?

Are you sure that one day you will be able to buy a huge apartment with panoramic windows and a flower garden on the balcony? If not, is it worth postponing the birth of a second child for the sake of ghostly meters? If so, how can a baby prevent you from getting a spacious home? Just think how lucky your firstborn is, he has a loving mom and dad, and he doesn’t even know that he needs his own room. PARENTS need it, but he, on the contrary, wants to always be near you.

How to solve a problem?

Get on the waiting list to expand your living space or take advantage of social support programs.
Collect all financial reserves, receive maternity capital, and buy your home with a mortgage. She, of course, “bites”, but you can’t live in a rented apartment all your life.
Take advantage of a mortgage with government support. By the way, the program has been extended until the end of this year and helps save a tidy sum.
Buy land and start building a large family “nest”.
If it is not possible to expand your living space, then simply arrange your “nest” for two children.

Does a baby need that much space? In your heart, yes, but not in your apartment. Just a piece of your bed or a corner for a cradle. The baby will grow, but you won’t sit idly by either. Someday the children will definitely have their own room.

Draw conclusions from mistakes made

Have you already given birth? It would seem, what should you be afraid of if you have already gone through a similar situation once? But if a woman has an unsuccessful birth experience, for example, the baby was stillborn, with cerebral palsy, or had a miscarriage, then she will worry that the situation may repeat itself. How to get ready for childbirth and not be afraid? In this situation, you need to abstract yourself and think that all people make mistakes and all people are responsible for their sins. You have already taken a full sip from the cup of grief and now you deserve to rejoice and live happily. Think about how good you will be with your child. How smart, handsome, sweet and kind he will be. Set yourself up for a positive wave and don’t think about past negative experiences. Everyone has troubles. But there is no need to despair. You already have experience and already have mistakes that need to be worked out. Giving birth the second time is always easier, since you already know the whole process and are mentally prepared for the birth itself. All you have to do is tune in to a positive outcome of events.

Dispel doubts

The happy moment has come when mother and baby see each other for the first time. At this time, looking at the newborn, it is impossible to imagine what a difficult journey he overcame just five minutes ago. The uterus and passage through the birth canal are thought to place high pressure on the newborn. But don’t worry, because this natural process is unlikely to cause any harm to the baby.

Every mother knows that the tighter you hug your baby, the louder he laughs. And children, tightly wrapped in diapers, can sleep sweetly and soundly. So put aside your worries and remember that the first experience of overcoming difficulties is being born. And this process is thought out by nature itself. Forget about fears and help your baby be born strong, healthy and happy.

Partner birth

Are you afraid of giving birth alone? Then talk to your husband. Partner birth is a good option for those ladies who need the support of a loved one. The very presence of your beloved man in the room will lift your spirits. And his prudent actions: massage that relieves pain, gentle words will have a beneficial effect. Therefore, if you constantly repeat the phrase to yourself: “I’m afraid of childbirth,” reviews of girls who have gone through partner childbirth will help cheer you up. These women in labor say that the words of their husbands are understood better than the words of doctors.

A good man will not lose his presence of mind and will help his wife concentrate, breathe correctly and push. And since women always want to look beautiful in front of their beloved man, they try to give birth as soon as possible in order to hear approval and warm words from their beloved lips.

Partner birth is suitable for those who give birth at a young age and do not fully understand the responsibility of their actions. If a man is older than his wife, and he can reason logically better, then he should be present at the birth of his heir.

How to calm down and stop panicking before childbirth?

The birth of a child is one of the most important moments in the life of any woman, therefore prenatal experiences and worries are considered a normal state. It is important to remember that a pregnant woman does not need extra nerves, and is even more harmful for the baby. Therefore, you should take care to be less nervous during pregnancy and not panic before childbirth.

There are several proven methods that will help you maintain your state of mind and calm down, especially if childbirth is very soon.

Take a break, because a hobby is the best cure for various fears and worries. Do something you have always wanted to do, for example, swimming, embroidery, attend a classical music concert, etc. Before the birth of your baby, you should relax as much as possible and gain strength. Moreover, after his birth it will not be possible to rest his soul like this very soon.
If possible, communicate with people who have successful childbirth experience. Especially before giving birth, it is very important to have a positive attitude, and stories like this can cheer you up and lift your spirits.
Courses for pregnant women are becoming increasingly popular in our country. You can gain valuable knowledge from them, especially if you are experiencing pregnancy and childbirth for the first time. After all, the course covers all the issues that interest you. And if not everything, then you can ask it yourself.
Physical exercise. They will not only help to distract you, but also prevent the deposition of fat accumulation, which very often accompanies pregnant women. In addition, physical exercise promotes the production of endorphins - happiness hormones.

Find something fun to do

Massage also allows you to relax and calm down, and also helps reduce pain during labor and childbirth.
Support from loved ones and relatives. If you are very worried about childbirth, then you can enlist the support of a close relative or friend (or maybe your husband) so as not to give birth “alone.”
Turn fear into action. Instead of just sitting and panicking, build a plan of actions and necessary things for the maternity hospital. By the way, it’s better to start shopping in advance. This will allow you to think less about the “bad”, and by the time labor begins, everything you need will be collected. And then you won’t have to run around pharmacies and children’s stores with contractions. This is another little secret to peace of mind, because you will be all ready.
Get rid of the unknown. For example, read literature for pregnant women. After all, the more you learn about the birth process itself, the easier it will be for you to navigate the process.
Change your attitude towards childbirth. Many psychologists claim that positive thoughts about the child and anticipation of meeting him will help overcome the fear of childbirth. You should not associate the birth of a child with pain and suffering.

Only a positive attitude!

Find a doctor you trust

Do you want the birth to go well? Then find a trusted specialist who will be with you at the most crucial moment. The fear of childbirth will go away on its own if you are confident in the doctor’s actions. A good specialist knows when to joke to relieve nervous tension, when to intimidate so that the lady pushes harder, and also knows how to ease her suffering if something goes wrong.

Ask your friends if they liked the obstetrician who delivered the baby. If you collect a lot of positive reviews about one person, then you can safely entrust your destiny to him and not worry about childbirth and subsequent recovery.

How to overcome the fear of childbirth - advice from a psychologist

Content

During childbirth, think not about pain, but that very soon you will meet your baby - and any pain will go away Alina Reason

The main task of the expectant mother is to remain calm, balanced and friendly, because worries can only harm her and the baby. In words it is simple, but in real life a pregnant woman is tormented by fear of childbirth. How to cope with anxiety and find the calm that every expectant mother so needs before the birth of a child?

Fear of childbirth is normal

If you are afraid to give birth, stop blaming yourself for being “cowardly” and “excessive nervousness.” Your fear is completely normal. All women experience similar emotions, only the degree differs. On the contrary, it would be strange if the mother did not worry about the future – hers and the baby’s. You just need to realize what exactly is troubling you and deal with the internal problem. Then psychological preparation for childbirth will be easier.

There are several things that frighten pregnant women the most:

1 Fear 1: labor pain
Convincing yourself that the pain during childbirth will not be severe is stupid, because it is not so. However, it is worth looking at it from a different angle. Pain is usually an indicator of ill health. If it appears, it means the person is in danger. Childbirth is a completely different story. Pain is the norm, an indication that everything is going well.

It is important that the woman understands for herself why she needs to go through the pain of childbirth. It is necessary to realize the enormous work that the body does during childbirth. If you understand the mechanism and necessity of pain, it will not seem so terrible.

Psychologist's advice . Focus on specific things:
take things apart;
prepare your bag for the maternity hospital;
put your body and thoughts in order;
think about how you will meet your baby.
Reassure yourself with the thought that pregnancy and childbirth are temporary phenomena. Everything will pass and be quickly forgotten.

2 Fear 2: Possible Complications
Most of the terrible things people fear never happen. Yes, no one guarantees that childbirth will be perfect. But it’s not a fact that there will be complications. You have no control over this ancient process. So what's the point in worrying?

Psychologist's advice . Realize that there is no problem. There is only unsubstantiated fear. You need to do everything possible to make sure everything goes smoothly:
find a good maternity hospital;
choose an experienced doctor;
talk to the specialist who will deliver the baby.
When all the points of this plan are completed, you can relax and forbid yourself to think about the bad. Just trust yourself and the doctors.

3 Fear 3: premature birth
Many mothers are afraid that they will not carry the pregnancy to term and that the child will be born prematurely. This happens quite often, so there is some reason for concern.

Psychologist's advice . Realize that you do not live in the 18th century , when a premature baby could not be saved. Now children born at 22-37 weeks are quite viable. They are being helped. These children will not have any particular difficulties in the future. The most that can upset you is the need to stay in the hospital a little longer than you want.

4 Fear 4: giving birth at any moment
In the last weeks, pregnant women are afraid of giving birth at any second and almost on the street. Relax, such incidents happen more often in movies than in real life. The birth process lasts 8–12 hours, and you will definitely have time to get to the hospital.

Yes, there is a percentage of women for whom everything happens quickly - in 2-4 hours. About one in two hundred pregnant women gives birth this way. What is the probability that you will be that very two hundredth? And even in this case, doctors manage to help. Mother and child are safe.

Psychologist's advice . You must carry with you the necessary documents, an exchange card, and top up your phone account with a reserve. If this is done, relax and calmly wait for the hour “H”. You have done everything to prevent surprises.

5 Fear 5: tears and cuts
For some reason, first-time women are confident that they will definitely be cut during childbirth or there will be ruptures in the perineum. This depends on the elasticity of the muscles and the posture of the woman in labor. If you push half-sitting or on all fours, it is unlikely that anything will happen.

Psychologist's advice . Face this fear head on. Consider what will happen if there are actually tears or cuts. At most, you will have stitches and will have to experience discomfort for a couple of weeks. All.
This will seem like a small thing when labor is over and the baby is brought in for the first feeding. You will be focused only on your baby, and unpleasant sensations will fade into the background.

What else might bother a pregnant woman?

Young mothers are visited by many disturbing thoughts. For example:

Caesarean is better than natural childbirth;
in maternity hospitals, the medical staff treats you rudely;
the umbilical cord around the baby's neck will strangle him;
You can’t eat to avoid defecation during childbirth.

If you are tormented by such fears, consider each one. So, after a cesarean section you will have to recover for a long time. This is better than natural childbirth, unless there is a medical indication for surgery.

Boorish doctors are a huge rarity in modern hospitals. And the umbilical cord around the neck will definitely not suffocate the baby, since during childbirth oxygen does not enter through the lungs, and after the birth of the child, doctors immediately remove it.

If you are tormented by false shame before defecation on the maternity table, think that the medical staff in hospitals have seen such horrors that your embarrassment will definitely not bother them. You definitely need to eat, because you will need a lot of strength.

8 Specific Actions to Reduce Anxiety

You can think through your fears about childbirth and take steps to help you worry less about something that will most likely never happen. Do a few simple things:

1 Sign up for courses for expectant mothers. They will give you the knowledge you need. Moreover, qualified doctors will tell you about childbirth, not grannies on a bench. Ask questions to clear up any remaining doubts. 2 Seek support from loved ones, but avoid alarmists. 3 Refuse to communicate with those who love to tell scary “cases from life.” 4 Make lists of needed things and step-by-step plans. 5 Do something enjoyable: your favorite activity, cultural entertainment, swimming or knitting. Have a good rest. 6 Walk and exercise regularly. No one requires extra effort, but simple exercises are available to you. 7 Read good books about childbirth. 8 Accept the necessity of childbirth. You just need to do it once to meet your baby. You will have to spend time on such an important event, and then everything will pass and be forgotten.

Sometimes women have reason to worry. They really need qualified psychological help to cope with their fears. If this is your case, sign up for an individual consultation or family constellation.

A good psychologist will help you pass the most difficult exam in your life, after which you will finally become the mother of a wonderful baby.

RECORD for arrangements, consultation

Millions of women give birth to more than one child

How to stop being afraid of childbirth? Think about the fact that many women on the planet have more than one or even two children. And in the last century it was considered the norm to give birth to 10 children. If it was that painful, ladies would give birth less. And since numerous women were able to endure childbirth normally, then you can do it too.

There is no need to think about the small percentage of girls who died in agony. The likelihood of such a development of events in our time is very low. Qualified doctors in a well-equipped clinic save children and their mothers even in cases where the woman did not carry her babies to term for several months. And if everything goes well for you and the pregnancy proceeds without complications, then there should be no reason to worry.

How not to be afraid of childbirth and prepare yourself for it?

Many women turn to a psychologist for help. But every pregnant woman should understand that childbirth is a natural process, so nature itself prepares the woman for this.

In the brain of a pregnant woman, a labor dominant is formed, that is, the nervous system is completely focused on preparing your body for childbirth - the only goal at the moment. All other factors remain in the background: household chores, work, family quarrels. You are preparing for childbirth without noticing it.
By the end of pregnancy, blood vessels dilate, blood circulation improves, and the body becomes resistant to hypoxia during contractions.
The uterus is also prepared: under the influence of hormones, the cervix softens and gradually smoothes out to accommodate the baby’s head, and then his body.
The muscles of the vagina and perineum become elastic.

Decorate your room

Can't figure out how to stop being afraid of childbirth? Take your mind off unpleasant thoughts. What can you do? Prepare the room for your baby. Instead of thinking about horror and pain, think about what color the walls will be in your baby’s room, what kind of crib there will be and what shape it is better to buy a changing table. Think about the design of the room. How the walls will be decorated, where the toys will be, and where the table will be located when the baby grows up. Such thoughts can completely occupy your mind, and you will not constantly return to thoughts about the horrors of childbirth.

Error correction

Very few young parents approach the issue of first birth responsibly, but some get through it, while others have to pay for their mistakes. For example, a young girl who became pregnant, who was told by her friends that suddenly quitting smoking is bad, so there is no need to quit, but she listened to them - she can give birth to a child with a wide range of diseases and pathologies. It is not logical that they are afraid to give birth to a second child and pray to God that the baby will be healthy, you need to quit smoking and not risk the baby’s health.

If you know that you have your own illnesses, treat or cure them if possible. Before conceiving a child, it is very important to visit a gynecologist, dentist, undergo a full examination, take tests, etc. By preparing your body, you can save yourself from many painful sensations during pregnancy and give your baby a good, healthy place to develop. In any case, any questions regarding health should be resolved with a doctor, and not with friends or other advisers.

Reflect on old mistakes, especially those that had negative consequences or reflected back on you. Now you are not a young girl, you are a mother who is planning to give birth to another little person, and must be responsible. Planning a second or third child is an excellent opportunity to prove that you are an intelligent woman and know how to learn from your own mistakes.

Hobby

Have you already come up with a design for your baby's room? And you don’t know how not to be afraid of childbirth if you have nothing to do? Give yourself a hobby. The more passionate you are about your business, the less time you will have to think.

What can a pregnant woman do in her spare time? You can embroider, sew, sculpt, make jewelry, read, write poetry or play music. Any activity that brings you pleasure will be useful. It is better to choose a creative activity. Then you will be able to realize your hidden potential and also develop your imagination.

What should ladies do who can’t find something they like? They can entertain themselves with long walks. But in this case, one limitation should be imposed on the consciousness: on the street you should engage in observing others and nature, but in no way return to thoughts about childbirth.

How I dealt with the fear of giving birth abroad

To be honest, I didn’t have a strong fear of childbirth. However, there was a slight excitement, but being on the warm island of Phu Quoc, it was smoothed out by the tropical climate, as well as other important points, which I want to talk about further.

The first is the care and support of loved ones

For a pregnant woman, the support of loved ones is very important. First of all, the husband plays an important role here, who must surround his wife and unborn child with care and love. Zhenya provided invaluable support to the two of us and this gave us strength on the way to our cherished goal. Moreover, a pregnant woman is quite vulnerable and prone to mood swings due to her position, so those close to her need to be patient. After all, a pregnant woman should be in a calm and even environment, and in no case should she be nervous. You need to understand that this may adversely affect the health of the unborn child.

Second - proper nutrition

When you realize that a new life lives in you, you also think about healthy, proper nutrition. You may ask how proper nutrition is related to the fear of impending childbirth. I will answer that a woman expecting her child should feel good, then she will have less fears, and healthy food will contribute to this. You also need to understand that now you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for your child. During my pregnancy, I did not restrict myself too much in food, and on the contrary, I ate often, but at the same time healthy food. At that time, Zhenya and I participated in the WeChallenge project, which helped me adjust my diet and physical activity at the beginning of my pregnancy. You can read about this project in the following articles:

Health marathon: three weeks with WeChallenge

I was able to participate in this project in the second trimester of my pregnancy, it was then that I began to feel normal and the nausea of the first trimester of pregnancy went away.

And when we arrived on an island in Vietnam in the fifth month of pregnancy, we began to eat fruits, fresh seafood and meat, I think this also had a very positive effect on the two of us. Fewer buns and various sweets, more wholesome and healthy food in the diet, had a very positive effect on the baby and me.

Third - physical activity before childbirth

Walking in the fresh air is simply necessary for a pregnant woman, so while on the warm island of Phu Quoc, my husband and I made sure to walk to the bay at sunset. The sea air, and just the fresh air, did their job, and I felt wonderful.

As they usually say, a healthy mind in a healthy body. You feel good and therefore less bad thoughts enter your head.

Swimming in the Gulf of Thailand had a beneficial effect not only on my physical health, but also on my moral one. I didn’t want to be afraid and wait for childbirth as something terrible; on the contrary, the whole atmosphere of our island life set me up for peace and tranquility.

For myself, I concluded that proper nutrition, physical activity, and morale will allow you and your child to be in great shape. Then you will easily endure childbirth and you will not need to be afraid of it. Moreover, you need to understand that this is a natural process for any woman, which means that not everything is as scary as you might hear about it.

Moral attitude - everything will be fine

This is also one of the main points on how not to be afraid of childbirth. In our Guest House, in the place where we lived during my pregnancy on the island of Phu Quoc, a lot of mothers came with children of different ages. And they all unanimously advised me not to worry. They said that their birth was quite tolerable and there was no need to be afraid of it. The main thing is to set yourself up that everything will go well and there won’t be any problems. It is important not to lose the spirit of optimism. It should be noted that mothers who come with their babies to a tropical island to live for several months are always positive. Mothers are divided into those who are afraid to take children under 3 years old to the sea and those who dream of living in a warm climate from birth.

All of the above points helped me prepare for childbirth. Don't be afraid of them. Overcome in yourself those beginnings of fear that could appear and become an unpleasant insurmountable moral obstacle on the path to a little happiness.

In order to avoid such obstacles, I want to analyze what fears pregnant women usually experience before childbirth and help solve them or dispel them.

Let go of the situation

If you want to understand how not to be afraid of childbirth, stop stressing yourself out and trying to keep everything under control. Have you already found a good doctor, made an agreement with the clinic and completed preparatory courses? There is no need to search the Internet for new ways to give birth. This information will not help you in any way. Let fate continue to manage the circumstances. When you have done everything possible to have a good and painless birth, relax. Stop making up various scary stories. May you be comforted by the thought that you have done everything possible to make your life easier.

Childbirth

When a woman says: “I want a second child, but I’m afraid,” most often it means fear of childbirth. Why this happens is, in principle, understandable, because the birth of a baby is a painful and unpredictable process, no matter how much money you pay and no matter what doctor you negotiate in advance. What to do?

Firstly, do not program yourself for bad things. Even if the first birth was very difficult, no one can tell you with 100% certainty what the second one will be like. Yes, most often you can hear that the birth of a second child is less painful and quick, and that the birth of a third child is just like that – once, twice and you’re done. This can also be explained from a medical point of view, because the tissues of the birth canal are now more elastic, the child moves more easily along them, the body remembers how to behave, and the period of contractions is reduced by at least several hours. But there are many cases proving the opposite. No one knows how it will be for you, but you definitely don’t need to prepare yourself for the fact that everything will be bad.
In addition to your inner attitude, do not forget to prepare your body: do exercises and special exercises to stretch the vaginal muscles, practice breathing correctly, move as much as possible, walk, unless, of course, there is a threat of miscarriage or doctor’s contraindications.
The most important thing is don’t stress yourself out, don’t listen to scary stories. Even if the first birth was difficult, you now know for sure that you were able to survive it, which means you can cope with the second one. You have already proven how strong you are!

Pain during childbirth is self-winding

How not to be afraid of childbirth? Gynecologists say that even women with a low sensitivity threshold tolerate childbirth normally. But the whole point is that only 10% of the pain experienced is physiological. It appears at the moment when the child crosses the isthmus of the uterus. The remaining 90% is imaginary suffering that the woman in labor inflicts on herself. Fear, anxiety, high expectations, prolonged efforts - all this adds up to a bouquet that is not very pleasant to receive. But in reality, there is very little pain during childbirth. There are practically no receptors in the uterus, so there is nothing to be irritated there.

beauty

Woman and beauty are inseparable concepts. It is important for a woman to remain beautiful for many reasons, but beauty requires constant work, so after giving birth you will have to work a little on yourself:

you need to eat right (if a young mother is breastfeeding, she will definitely have to eat only healthy foods);
do physical exercises - now there are many types of exercises with children, you can also go to the pool, and walking with a stroller will be beneficial;
It is equally important to get as much sleep as possible, otherwise it will be more difficult to lose weight.

You should not compare your past and present selves, you need to emphasize new advantages, because after childbirth, the figure becomes more feminine. With a little work on your new body, you can get an attractive woman, and believe me, you will more than once see the surprised faces of people who will find out that you are a mother of two children. And for your family, you are undoubtedly the most beautiful!

Remember that the most important thing is inner happiness, it is what is reflected in your eyes, creating an overall magnetic picture. And external corrections are a matter of time and your own desire.