How to make peace with a girl after a strong quarrel or breakup: how to start a conversation and what to do next

After a strong quarrel

Strong grievances and quarrels often lead to separation in a couple. To make peace with a girl after such a scandal, you will have to make a lot of effort, especially if she does not want a conversation or meeting.

The algorithm of actions may be as follows:

1. Analyze the situation. Remember the reason for the quarrel, your behavior and hers.
2. Admit the mistakes you made, rude phrases that should not have been uttered.
3. Choose a time to have an honest conversation. It is better to schedule a meeting for 2-3 days after the quarrel.
4. It doesn’t matter which of you is to blame, go for reconciliation first.
5. Ask for forgiveness for mistakes made, rudeness, rudeness.
6. Discuss the reason for the quarrel.
7. If possible, point out to the girl her mistakes in conversation or behavior.
8. Listen to your significant other's point of view. At this moment it is better to remain silent, let her speak out and support her with the words: “I understand that you are angry; I understand you” and so on.
9. At the end of the conversation, take her hand, remember the romantic moments that are important to your couple. Promise not to quarrel anymore.
10. After the conversation, tell her that you are going to leave, you don’t want to take up her time. If a girl decides to forgive, she will try to detain you. If she doesn’t stop and lets her leave, then she needs more time to make the right decision.

If she doesn't want to talk

If a girl doesn’t want to talk and is very offended, it won’t be possible to make peace quickly and easily. In this case, follow the advice of psychologists:

1. Do not rush to make amends immediately after a quarrel. Emotions are raging, a woman’s feelings are hurt, let her breathe out and cool down.
2. After a couple of days, gently remind yourself. Do this through a pleasant SMS with wishes of good morning, good night. Do not insist on a conversation or meeting.
3. Send the girl flowers, a nice gift using a courier.
4. Try to arrange a meeting on neutral territory. Her agreement is a good sign.
5. Don't start the conversation by talking about a past fight. Show your beloved that you missed her, try to get a hug or a kiss.
6. When she thaws a little, ask for forgiveness for the offense. When the relationship is tense to the limit, the girl is ready to take extreme measures and break up with the guy, the main thing is not to rush. And refusing dialogue and meeting to talk is a reason for panic. In this case, you need to act carefully.

If a girl doesn't want a relationship

The rules for gradually getting closer to a girl will be useful to you. Moreover, the stronger the quarrel, the longer the period of separation will be. While the relationship is calm, behave like this:

1. Don't pursue girls with offers to hang out and talk.
2. Do not spam information from messages and calls.
3. Consider the quarrel situation from all sides. Put yourself in the girl's shoes.
4. When your loved one cools down, this may even take several months, begin to gently remind yourself. First in correspondence, then by calls, “accidental meetings.”
5. Craft a speech for genuine conversation. It should be short, clear, without unnecessary snot. You can practice in front of a mirror.
6. Watch your appearance. Come to meetings neat and attractive. The girl must understand who she has lost.
7. Listen to your loved one’s claims, don’t argue.
8. After everyone has spoken, talk about something else, set your beloved up for the positive.
9. At the end of the date, find the right words that will help bring the relationship back. For example, confess your love, that you missed her very much, you often dream about her.

If the above points are completed, and the girl still remains inaccessible, avoids conversation, and does not agree to resume the relationship, do not despair. Determination and self-confidence are your main helpers. Try to reach her heart repeatedly if the feeling of love is alive in both.

Rules of behavior after a quarrel

Under any circumstances, the first thing you need to do is remain a man. Do not do it

pester a girl with calls or messages, especially when drunk. Such a conversation will not only not lead to an improvement in relations, but may worsen the current circumstances. Also, there is no need to pursue a girl, setting up a “random” meeting. As a rule, the fact that it is rigged is visible to the naked eye.

It is inappropriate to try to make her jealous by flirting with other women in front of her. This will only confirm her opinion that the conflict did not occur out of nowhere. In addition, making peace after such an attack will be much more difficult.

You shouldn’t wash your dirty laundry in public or spread the causes of the conflict among your friends, otherwise a small skirmish over an unclosed tube of toothpaste can escalate almost into an act of terrorism with your participation, which others will be sincerely convinced of.

After betrayal

Establishing relationships after betrayal is a complex and lengthy process. It is difficult for girls to forgive betrayal and trust a guy again. Here's how to apologize for cheating:

1. Don't expect the girl to forgive you right away.
2. Don't make excuses, admit the fact of betrayal.
3. Give your partner time to cool down.
4. If a girl doesn’t want to talk, record a video message or write a letter to VK.
5. Prove that you feel shame and guilt for the offense.
6. If you get a chance to continue the relationship, behave perfectly.

Often couples experience the fact of betrayal in a difficult and long way; girls constantly remember their loved one’s misdeeds and torment themselves and the guy. In this case, you will need the help of a family psychologist.

After what time should you put up?

To decide how best to make peace with your girlfriend, you first need to rethink the current state of affairs. It takes some time to cool down and formulate a plan of action.

If the conflict was serious, rapprochement should occur gradually and slowly. It is impossible to achieve reconciliation by force: pressure, excessive persistence and aggression will lead to a dead end.

READ What to do if a girl is constantly offended by trifles

If you hit

On forums and chats for men, the question is often discussed: “How can you quickly make peace with a girl if you hit her during a quarrel?” Of course, rudeness and aggression from the stronger sex are unacceptable. Assault hits a woman’s vanity hard, and it’s very difficult to forgive.

If you have made this fatal mistake, then bright manifestations of tenderness, care, affection, and demonstrations of love will help you make amends. But you definitely won’t be able to regain trust right away, so be patient.

How to make peace with the girl you love

Difficulties experienced together strengthen trust, and sometimes they are even useful: to test the resilience of a loved one in a difficult situation and to get to know him better. Of course, we should not forget that any disagreement can become the last, putting an end to the relationship.

During the period of separation, it would be a good idea to rest, put your thoughts in order, calm down and unwind a little. The psychology of relationships recommends this approach, since worthy ideas come to an adequate head much more often - a solution can appear by itself. You will be able to soberly assess the situation and the person, understand how much you care about him and take appropriate actions.

Imagine your future life, what awaits you together, how much you get from each other and what you can lose. “Do we need to make peace?” – everyone must answer this question for themselves personally.

If I'm to blame

Be vigilant, do not fall for the tricks of self-deception! Maintain honor, courage and dignity, never humiliate yourself and do not seek from a person what he is not able to give - love, respect, trust.

If you manage to win back your beloved through base concessions, she simply may not justify the effort and time spent. Tears and labor will be wasted, but it costs a lot!

When you yourself become the cause of the conflict, then you have to start with yourself:

• Describe in words what exactly you did and why you did it. Take responsibility for your actions!
• Admit your mistake! Agree that you were wrong and repent with all your heart for what you did. That you won't repeat this again.
• Perhaps you underestimate the seriousness of the damage caused, in which case it would be wise to ask your chosen one directly about the situation.
• When you yourself don’t see the problem, perhaps your friends will notice it and help you make peace with the girl

If she's to blame

By following these tips, it will be easier to relieve pain, understand the situation and contribute to your unification:

1. Sooner or later, but it’s best right now, stop harboring anger and being offended by your other half dear to your heart and soul. Remember all the beautiful and blood-stirring memories, everything that united you before and kept you together for so long. You can do this separately, but it’s better and more productive to do it together. Moments when you were happy can bring back old feelings, even in the most difficult period;
2. A light, but not too expensive, gift that symbolizes and conveys your love for her will be more than appropriate. A porcelain or clay figurine of a couple in love, a chic postcard with a beautiful poem or message, or some other romantic gift. Such a thing should surprise not with the price tag, but with attention, a reminder that you still experience strong feelings, just like when you met;
3. It’s better to stay with a friend than to wander around the world without her! If it is no longer possible to resume a love relationship, remaining at least close friends is also not a bad option. As a rule, guys are happy to keep in touch with their ex-ladies, and for girls this will not be a burden. Take advantage of this situation, start from the very beginning! Show signs of attention and care again when the opportunity arises. What if, at some point, everything starts to sparkle with new colors and feelings awaken from sleep?
4. The easiest way is to directly suggest starting over. Organize a meeting, put on the most beautiful clothes, remind you of the past and try again, taking into account the mistakes of the past.

If you hit

In such a difficult situation, you will have to act gradually, step by step. First of all, decide: “For whose sake do I want to restore my girlfriend’s faith in herself - for her sake, or for my own sake?”

Such a rude reaction as a blow or slap in the face significantly lowers a girl’s self-esteem; she considers herself helpless and unloved. Short-term forgiveness is not discussed here; forgiveness in general is the best outcome.

It is best to offer a deep apology face to face and promise to never allow something like this to happen again. Of course, it will be difficult to believe sweet words after cruel actions, so you will have to try to be extremely convincing and give her the necessary time to make a decision.

She will begin to treat you with fear, and the old trust will take a long time to be restored. It doesn’t matter whether this has happened to you before, there is an expression: “If it hits you once, it will hit you again.” It must be refuted, each time demonstrating your love and strength of feelings: with gifts, new impressions, etc.

After the breakup

Making peace with a girl after a breakup is very difficult. The main condition will be the reciprocity of the partner’s feelings, as well as the absence of strong grievances and betrayal in the couple. The main way to solve the problem and reunite again is to have an open conversation. Organize your conversation like this:

1. Find out how much distance has arisen between you as a result of separation.
2. Make sure that the feelings have not passed, the relationship is still needed.
3. Determine what was the reason for the separation. Identify and talk through all the grievances and disappointments so that there are no more disagreements in the relationship due to misunderstandings.
4. Establish contact with the girl, take her hand, hug her.
5. Be sincere, falsehood and flattery will be your enemies during a heart-to-heart conversation.
6. Promise that the new stage of the relationship will be better than the previous one.
7. Be grateful to the girl for the second chance. It is given to you so that you can restore trust and show your best side.

When the danger of a final break has passed, fasten the bond with your partner. Find a common hobby, visit a family psychologist, spend more time together, talk about small problems at once. The more points of contact you find, the stronger your love and marriage will be.

If she's to blame

The opinion that girls are always right and it’s better not to argue with your significant other, it will backfire on the guy, is incorrect. It is for this reason that women often do not admit their mistakes, they get used to the fact that the man himself will come to her and ask for forgiveness, even without guilt. This position entails the following difficulties in relationships:

• The girl does not adequately evaluate her behavior, so she continues to behave “badly” without thinking about her partner’s feelings.
• A man with a self-centered woman feels uncomfortable, and his self-esteem gradually decreases.
• Permissiveness leads to fatal actions that provoke final separation.

To prevent the listed difficulties from arising in your couple, teach your beloved to be aware of mistakes. You can improve your relationship with a girl in such a situation in this way:

1. Don't rush to apologize.
2. In a couple of days, when she realizes that you are offended, express your complaints clearly and clearly.
3. Talk through the situation in a calm environment.
4. Find a reason to apologize yourself, for a minor offense, a word spoken in a quarrel. This will make it easier for the girl to admit her guilt.
5. If she continues to stick to her line and doesn’t want to apologize or listen, take a break for 3-4 days. This time will be enough for the girl to think about her actions. After the break, we can have another serious conversation.

What you definitely can’t do in such a situation is humiliate yourself. If a girl does not admit her mistakes and does not want to do anything to save the relationship, think about whether you need such one-sided love.

Reasons for constant disagreement

As I wrote above, all problems come from selfishness. Everyone sticks out their great and powerful self, trying to prove they are right and humiliate their partner. Sometimes you just want to give up on everything and give up trying.
There will be another adequate and kind girl! But this is far from a fact. It is quite possible that you will fight with anyone else in the same spirit, or even worse. Therefore, it’s better to think about how to stop quarreling with a girl.

Desire to be cool

Any normal guy wants to be cool and confident.
If this doesn’t work out, then at least seem like it! Unfortunately, this trait is often transferred to relationships with the opposite sex. Girls are different, but most of them are still delicate natures. They want love, caring, sincerity, but instead they get a tough “rock” who practices his toughness on them. Yes, we know and remember that girls actually love those who pay less attention to them. But this is in the initial stages of sympathy. In an already established relationship, the lady wants care. If she doesn’t receive it, then she begins to “freeze” herself, or even thinks about other men. We often quarrel with girls because we ourselves are to blame for their insults.

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Naturally, no one likes this behavior. Some women simply tolerate bad attitude and are afraid to even say a word against it. Many people cannot part with a person for the same reason.

Jealousy

This is the greatest problem of all time. Bloody wars began because of jealousy. Sometimes this feeling outweighs love. The desire to possess and be the only one a girl communicates with leads to dire consequences. She loses her freedom, communication with friends and all interest in life. Constant scandals based on jealousy are not uncommon. There are rather exceptions when couples do not experience such feelings at all.

Almost half of the male population is endowed with jealousy. Some people do not accept betrayal, and for some, even a humorous compliment addressed to another man can cause a catastrophic storm of emotions.

I am a free and independent man

This is also a very common reason why we constantly quarrel with a girl. In the understanding of a typical guy, a girl should be faithful and not even look at other guys. But that doesn't mean I have to behave the same way?? I'm free anyway, I want to look at pretty beauties.
And in general, if I fuck girls, it’s not cheating.

Naturally, such a position is absolutely inadequate, but very common! For some reason, guys don’t think at all about the inequality of such relationships, which brings enormous suffering to their partners. It is quite appropriate that a woman starts a scandal in such a case. It would be better if she left you without a word!

Your life is more important than your relationship

Another reason why we argue with a girl every day is due to incorrectly set priorities. For example, you lived a quiet life, went out drinking with friends, partyed with different girls. You’re used to living like this, but here’s some kind of serious relationship, you have to control yourself...
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You work all day, then you want to relax and you go to your friends according to the old scheme. Of course, at this moment the girl shoots lightning bolts at you: why the hell didn’t you take me or spend time just with me? Her indignation is understandable in principle, but why not abandon her friends?

In fact, this happens very often. People start families, and all your friends suddenly disappear from your sight. They didn't betray you, you just disappeared. Therefore, you need to look for some compromises so that your friends don’t forget you and the girl doesn’t get offended.

By SMS

A personal meeting after a quarrel is not always the best method for restoring relationships if the woman is angry and does not want to talk to the offender. In this situation, telephones and SMS come to the aid of men. The following messages will help you make peace with a girl after a breakup, betrayal, or major scandal:

• Romantic. These are sweet letters about what you miss, love, and dream of meeting.

Let mountain meet mountain, let all the seas merge into one, then we will part with you, but now you are only mine and I will not let you go anywhere.

• Beautiful. Be sure to contain compliments and declarations of love.

What a pity that I can’t touch you with my hand, my unshaven cheek. I love you so much.

• Funny. They should make the girl smile and lift her spirits.

And I am luckier than anyone in this world: every morning two suns shine for me - one in the sky, the second is you.

Original ways to reconcile with your beloved

The more original the reconciliation, the better. Moreover, the more serious the quarrel, the more you need to try. You can take into account the following options.

Bouquet and card

If the conflict with the girl was not too serious, then you can get by with a beautiful bouquet of flowers along with a postcard in which you can write some beautiful words by hand. And to make everything more original, you can shout words of apology and or sing a serenade to your beloved under her window. If she never comes down, you can leave the bouquet in this place.

Also a beautiful way can be a flaming heart , laid out under the window from dozens of candles. Seeing such beauty, the girl will probably stop sulking.

The Best Day

You can try to give your loved one the best day of her life:

• To do this, you need to prepare a program in advance that will include your significant places, perhaps a romantic dinner somewhere on the roof, on the river or seashore.
• You can arrange a horseback ride or spend a day at the spa - here it is important to take into account the preferences of your other half. All this must be supplemented with words of sincere repentance.

Correct behavior is also : you should avoid arrogance and excessive confidence, and demonstrate maximum tenderness and love.

Dream come true

The embodiment of some of her dreams, the fulfillment of which she, for certain reasons, could not afford, can melt the heart of an offended girl.

For example, give her a dress that she has been looking at for a long time, arrange a photo shoot or buy a ticket to the country (city) where she wanted. Such gestures show a man’s attentiveness and his willingness to do things for the sake of his beloved.

Jewelry or accessories

It has already been said that gifts are appropriate in such a situation, and the more unusual they are, the better:

1. This could be custom-made jewelry or accessories complemented by engraving, a general portrait with a declaration of love and an apology.
2. You can also make a romantic present with your own hands: make a composition from fresh flowers, or from the lady’s favorite sweets (fruits). The main thing here is to turn on your imagination and take into account its preferences.

In contact with

You should only make attempts to make peace with a girl online if she wants to forgive her offender. You need to find words that will help you forget about the scandal and remind you of the good. Express your feelings without hiding, give your loved one virtual gifts, like photos and write comments on them. Try using humor when reconciling.

If you want to be original, master Photoshop and make a collage of their photos together with captions. Post your finished picture for discussion among friends. Let them write what a beautiful couple you are. The opinions of others will definitely affect the girl’s mood and disposition.

According to zodiac signs

You need to choose ways to reconcile with a girl after a quarrel taking into account her character. Characteristics of the zodiac sign by date of birth will help you predict how she will react to gifts and apologies.

Life hack: what to do after a quarrel6

Quarrels happen in absolutely all couples, but it is very important after a quarrel to direct the relationship in a positive direction! If, after a disagreement, someone in a couple still has negativity, it means they have not fully dealt with it and this problem needs to be discussed and worked on together! Then you need to bring laughter and joy back into the relationship, usually the man does this.

The best way to treat a girl with care and affection is to hug her. The sign of attention is completely free, but so important and valuable! Hugs help the girl feel protected, the warmth and affection of her partner, and also help smooth out conflicts. By the way, scientists have proven that a person simply needs 8 hugs a day to maintain a healthy mental state! Remember this.

Psychologist's advice

Quarrels and scandals in psychology are not considered something unacceptable. On the contrary, in the process of a heated conversation, people are able to find the truth, even through tears, express claims against each other and come to a compromise. But after a quarrel, the time comes for reconciliation, and it should also be approached wisely. In this case, psychologists have prepared some tips for us:

1. Don't be humiliated. You need to beg for forgiveness only if there are feelings in the couple. Without love, it will never be possible to achieve mutual understanding.
2. Don't stalk your loved one. Don’t bombard her phone with messages, don’t wait after work or near her house. Obsession irritates girls and scares them. This behavior will only make the situation worse.
3. Don't gossip about your ex. Rumors will definitely reach the girl, and you will regret what you did.
4. Don't try to buy forgiveness. Gifts should come as an appendix to the apology, after the girl relaxes a little. And expecting forgiveness for giving a ring is an insult to your beloved.

Reconciliation after a quarrel, and the scandals and misunderstandings themselves are only small parts of the multifaceted relationships between men and women. But these troubles can lead to couples breaking up and people losing each other forever. Therefore, try not to quarrel, treat the feelings and views of your other half carefully and tolerantly. Then there will be less discord in your family.

Cheated on his girlfriend. How can I get it back?

A man who is dependent on a woman cannot change. He will be afraid of his beloved’s anger in advance and nothing will come of it out of fear. After all, adrenaline, which is responsible for the feeling of horror, blocks male power. This means that at the time of the adventures on the left front, you did not think about your madam.

A man is able to change only when he is in a strong position. This means that you were not afraid of losing the woman you cheated on. And also did not attach much importance to your relationship and did not feel emotions for your partner. But the girl who came to hand evoked these emotions. You succumbed to temptation and dived under the oncoming skirt to get a vivid experience. It's like bingeing on fast food after a long diet. Was it delicious? It's nice because now it's going to be bitter.

You don't like being a leader

There is no 50/50 balance of significance in a relationship between a man and a woman. If you were in a strong position, then your partner was in a weak position. A weak position causes a woman to be in love mode: she is afraid of losing you, constantly shows concern and tries to be closer. For the sake of preserving the couple, a lady in love will iron her socks and agree on everything, so as not to accidentally cause a conflict. In such conditions, the relationship is stable, the woman is faithful, the man is calm.

Most guys in a relationship with a submissive girl start to get bored. Because the usual model is to woo a woman, or at least receive regular jokes from her. When communicating with a problematic lady, a man experiences anxiety, a strong desire to take possession of her and fear of loss.

Do you think that such passion is true love? This means you are used to depending on your partner and are in a weak position. Therefore, the position of leader does not suit you: the girl is too submissive and does not give the desired experiences. For these experiences, you go to the left front: after all, problematic ladies live there, who will be called a bad boy and slapped on the ass. You can watch what happens next in the video about problematic relationships on my channel.

You didn't plan your next steps

This is the second proof that you are not capable of being a leader. Cheating was just an emotional outburst. Emotionality is a property of the female model of behavior, because a conscious man controls his feelings and thinks strategically. It turns out that you took a strong position with your legal girlfriend by accident. Previously, everything went by itself, now a conflict has arisen, and you don’t know how to behave in such a situation.

So you choose the simplest plan - no plan. In a relationship, this is always the worst option. When you don't predict a woman's behavior, her impulsive actions come as a surprise to you. It's like throwing the steering wheel of a car and hoping the road will turn on its own. Can you guess what's next? That's right: you'll end up in a ditch.

And so it happens: the lady notices something suspicious and the interrogation begins. Instincts fail and sooner or later you confess to what you have done. From this moment on, the balance in the relationship changes dramatically. At first, the woman is emotional: she gushes with negativity and threatens to leave you. You get scared, pathetic attempts to make amends begin. The relationship moves into an acute phase and a struggle for dominance begins, which you lose. As a result, you find yourself in the pose of a stooped dog, and your beloved is washing her skis for a trip to her mother or Vasily.

Put a dot here

The problems started with an impulsive decision to take the left path.
Then, just as impulsively, you made a stupid confession and accepted the blame. And in the end, he succumbed to emotions and tried to save the doomed relationship. Every step in this story was dictated by an impulse of emotion. As you can see, the feelings led to a sad ending. I recommend making the first conscious, rational decision - to put an end to this relationship. Admit your mistake and calmly leave forever. Be consistent at least this time. If you start running after her, you will become completely disgusted with both the woman and yourself. If you don’t know where to start, read the article “How to stop loving a girl and forget forever.”

Learn to appreciate relationships when everything is good

Only now did you realize that she was good and loved you very much? Did her departure and sudden unavailability make you see the light? Buddy, wake up - this is a dependent relationship scenario. Your feelings are dictated by a change in role positions: now the lady has the moral advantage, and you are emotionally dependent on her.

As stated above, your strong position was an accident. In fact, you committed treason, subconsciously wanting to turn out to be the guilty bad boy. After all, this is how you get the right to suffer for a woman and swim in the waves of love madness.

She left you - that's the end. You started for health and ended for peace: you yourself ruined the opportunity to have a stable relationship with a decent girl. You can start a total ignore and get her back, but you yourself will not change. You will again be pulled to the left and so on in a circle. In order not to find yourself in such situations again, you need to learn to value a calm relationship with a woman who loves you. It’s like giving up fast food in favor of buckwheat with salad and bland chicken: at first it’s boring, but then you feel how much easier life has become.