How to improve relationships with a guy, a man after a quarrel, cooling off, betrayal?

Causes of problems in relationships with a guy or a man

There are many reasons for such problems. But combining them according to some characteristics, we can distinguish 4 main ones :

Misunderstanding that the psychology of a man and a woman are two different concepts . You will think that since he does this, it means he doesn’t love or respect you. But in reality, this may simply mean that he is a man and it is natural for him to behave this way. Without realizing it, you may paint yourself into a corner and decide that your relationship must end. And it turns out that your man doesn’t see at all that your relationship has undergone any changes
Selfishness . This is a real problem that destroys more than one family. When entering into a relationship and wanting its logical continuation, you both must be ready for life for two. Sometimes you will have to sacrifice your desire for the sake of your loved one. If in a relationship everyone lives for themselves, then the end of such a relationship comes very quickly

Selfishness in relationships

Failure of a man or woman to fulfill their duties . Sooner or later, the constant absence of dinner will lead your man to splash out all the accumulated negativity towards you. And sooner or later you will lash out at your husband if he does not fulfill his duties as a man. To avoid misunderstandings, you should discuss at the beginning of your life together who will perform what responsibilities in the family. After all, you grew up in different families and your views may simply differ based on parental experience
Reluctance to work on yourself . You must understand that relationships sometimes require your joint efforts. You are used to living alone. And when you start living together, you just have to change some of your habits. If you want to live under the same conditions as before, then your relationship will periodically accumulate claims against each other

Causes of problems in relationships with a guy or a man

IMPORTANT: You will find many more reasons, directly or indirectly, in subsequent sections

How to improve relationships: advice from a psychologist

When your relationship no longer seems the same to you as it was before, you involuntarily begin to look for reasons.

IMPORTANT: To improve your relationship, you need to understand that your man is dear to you. Only then can you work on your relationship

Psychologists advise:

Laugh together . No matter how strange it may sound, laughing together at something brings us closer together. You can walk around looking sullenly at each other. But when something makes you both laugh, you will notice how for a minute you forgive each other's offenses and laugh heartily. Bring laughter into your life together
Spend time together . If you feel the tension in your relationship, then you just need to do something together. If during this period a man goes to the computer, and you spend all your free time watching TV, your relationship will not recover on its own. Common causes unite. This could be renovating an apartment, doing things at the dacha, or riding a bike together. Any time spent together will only benefit you

Psychology of relationships between men and women

Remember why you fell in love with him . Often everyday difficulties and routine lead to the fact that spouses begin to see only the negative in each other. You may be annoyed by his every move. How to get rid of this feeling? Just imagine what would happen if he left. You will immediately understand how much you love him. Think of him as someone you love for his positive qualities. After such thoughts, you will look at him a little differently: no longer so harshly
Say something nice. This point follows from the previous one. Give him a compliment: what strong hands he has, what a sense of humor he has, how strong he is, how confident you are in him. If you do it foreplay, your man will definitely appreciate it. Men love themselves even more than women, so every flattering word will only arouse positive emotions in him
Touch it. Tactile sensations carry a great emotional load. A hug or just a touch is never too much. And without these little things, relationships can cool down.

How to improve relationships

Smile . It may seem to you that sometimes you don’t even have time to smile. But that's not true. You can always smile. It's nothing. But it will smooth out your possibly stern appearance or a recent domestic dispute.
Family tradition . Come up with something for your family that you will do from day to day or from year to year: this could be a mandatory ritual of wishes before the working day or, conversely, a brief summary of the news from the past day. It may be a tradition to celebrate holidays in a certain way. Or the tradition of inviting your best friends or parents to visit every last Saturday of the month. Traditions unite you. And even when the relationship seems a little tense, you should not deviate from tradition
Make your man's wish come true . If your man has been asking you for something for a long time, directly or in hints, it’s time to fulfill the request. This also applies to sexual fantasies.

how to improve relationships

IMPORTANT: If you really want to improve your relationship, sometimes you will have to step over your own pride. This is fine. This does not mean that you will become completely under his control. This means that you have enough wisdom to remain a domineering, but at the same time the best wife in the world.

How to improve relations with a guy after a quarrel?

Before you can mend your relationship after a fight, you need to make peace. How to do this is described in the article How to make peace with your husband: after a strong quarrel, divorce, betrayal, scandal, fight? Reconciliation with my husband

If the quarrel was quite strong, then reconciliation itself will not improve your relationship. Perhaps you will begin to communicate, but some coldness will remain in your relationship.

How to improve relationships after reconciliation:

The most important. If you have forgiven, then you have forgiven. Do not start raising old problems again the day after reconciliation. This way you will never leave them. You may feel uneasy at first. You may think that you forgave in vain, that you gave in and now your loved one will go too far. Drown this feeling inside yourself. Work on yourself to become the same. Otherwise, your loved one will no longer see the point in apologizing to you.
If you were the culprit of the quarrel , then you should not behave too politely. You don’t need to fulfill every man’s desire just because you recently made a mistake. Otherwise, the man will like your groveling and he will start using it. Behave in a naturally good-natured manner. Of course, you shouldn’t find a reason for another conflict
To make your relationship less tense after a quarrel, spend time together : cook dinner together, watch a movie together, take a walk in the park together, or go visit friends.

How to improve relationships with a guy after a quarrel

IMPORTANT: The main thing is not to run around in corners, this is the only way you can together establish contact that was lost, albeit temporarily
IMPORTANT: Accept the fact that quarrels happen to everyone. Therefore, learn to make peace and behave wisely after reconciliation

Don't limit personal freedom

The most common mistake young girls make is the desire to control the life of their chosen one, demanding constant attention from him. This is absolutely wrong. Everyone in a relationship should have their own personal space where they can be alone with themselves for some time. If a guy wants to go to football or devote his free time to friends, then so be it. At this time, the girl can take care of herself, put her appearance in order, and visit her friends. After you spend some time apart, it will be more desirable to meet.

How to improve relationships with a guy after cheating?

Cheating is a serious matter. It is not always possible to improve relationships after it.

IMPORTANT: It is possible to improve relationships after betrayal only when the guilty party is truly forgiven. As long as the party affected by betrayal doubts the ability to forgive, the relationship will be on the brink

If your boyfriend cheated on you, then it would be wrong for you to try to improve your relationship with him. Let him try to correct his mistakes. Of course, this does not mean that you should resist in every possible way. But if, after his betrayal, you try to establish a connection more than he does, he may decide that his forgiveness was quite easy for you
If you changed , then the cards are in your hands. Men have a very difficult time dealing with betrayal. Be prepared that even after forgiveness, your loved one will keep you at a distance. Don't put pressure on him. He needs time. Behave as before, but do not be offended by his sometimes rudeness or bad mood. You will have to wait until the man accepts what happened and is ready to take it back. When this moment has come, try to little by little find things to do together. Gradually you will begin to feel your connection returning. Be more flexible than usual. But don’t go too far, otherwise such behavior can only anger your boyfriend and remind him of what happened

How to improve your relationship with a guy after cheating

IMPORTANT: Your goal is to convince your boyfriend that this won't happen again. There is no need to repeat this 10 times a day. Just act in such a way that he understands that you are terribly sorry and will never let something like this happen again.
IMPORTANT: Be prepared for the fact that the relationship will not return soon, and may not return to its previous place at all

How to get back into a relationship with a guy after a breakup?

IMPORTANT: Before you try to get your boyfriend back, make sure you want it.

Girls' mistakes, or how not to try to get a guy back:

Immediately after breaking up, bombard him with a bunch of calls and messages. Never do this. Yes, your hands are reaching for the phone, but bear with it. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk to avoid getting overwhelmed by your emotions. In 99% of cases, such emotional calls and SMS do not solve the problem
Never say phrases like: “I ask you to come back, I will do whatever you want,” “I will do something to myself,” “I am nothing without you.” Never say anything like that. Now emotions are speaking in you. Let them calm down and you will understand that these phrases sound stupid. And if you say something like that, then your boyfriend will only stop respecting you and will consider himself a master over you
Get bored . Let you not say loud words about suicide, but constantly try to meet him somewhere and talk. This is also a mistake

how to get a guy back: mistakes
How to try to get a guy back:

Instead of lying on the couch for days with a dirty head, take care of yourself . Go shopping, get your nails done, join the gym. All these actions will start to lift your mood and help you look better.
Once your emotions have subsided and you start looking good, you can think about a plan of action.
Find out where and when your boyfriend will appear. It's better if it's a general get-together with friends.
You must look amazing
You must be in a great mood
When you meet your ex, smile and say hello. With all your appearance you should show how great you feel
Men love to achieve
Make him want a relationship with you again with your behavior. Let him come to you trying to get you back

how to get a guy back

IMPORTANT: Only self-confidence will give you a chance to get your ex back, but not pity.

How to improve a relationship with a guy at a distance?

IMPORTANT: Learn to trust even from a distance

Establishing relationships at a distance is much more difficult, because you cannot use all sorts of tricks that are only available during meetings. Therefore, be prepared that the process will be longer and more painstaking:

Reduce attempts to sort things out over the phone. Over the phone, the offended party may hang up and not want to quarrel further. Then there will be phone calls in one direction and the lack of opportunity to talk. If something is upsetting you and you want to talk about it, then if possible, wait for a meeting
Don't start sorting things out right away when you meet. Spend time together, only then, in a calm and trusting atmosphere, tell your partner what’s bothering you
Remember that now your meetings are rare. Don't waste it on minor issues that can be avoided altogether.

long distance relationship

Trust. If you do not trust, then you will not avoid doubts that arise from time to time. Long-distance relationships are usually mentally draining, so even the most ordinary situations may seem strange and suspicious to you.
Learn to control yourself. The point partially follows from the previous one. Don't let bad morale get the better of your mind
Be sure to share with your loved one what is happening to you. In response, listen to the events of his past day. After all, long-distance relationships lead to the fact that you lose joint activities, and each of you has things to do that are not related to each other. If you don't talk about how your day went, there will come a time when you won't have anything to talk about at all.
Be sure to say nice words. Send SMS. This will only support your relationship. Examples of words and SMS can be found in the articles Words to your beloved man. Poems for a beloved man. Pleasant words to your beloved man, husband in poetry, prose, in your own words and SMS to your beloved man. SMS to your beloved man, husband, short, funny, to lift your spirits, to wish you good morning and good night
Chat via Skype. But remember that you must look great. Even if you spend days at home waiting for a meeting and forget about makeup. Get yourself in order and only then get in touch. Sometimes you can wear something seductive to entice your boyfriend

How to build a relationship with a guy at a distance

Always prepare to meet your loved one. Let him know that you have been waiting for him. Prepare your favorite dish, bake a pie. Your boyfriend will undoubtedly appreciate your preparation

IMPORTANT: If a quarrel has already occurred, then you can only try to continue to do all of the above. After an apology, of course.

Avoid controversial issues

Smart and wise ladies try to avoid all controversial issues. If you and your boyfriend have significant differences in your outlook on life, you need to accept his priorities or look for another gentleman. You can maintain a relationship with this, but in this case there is no need to sharpen the questions and find out which of you is more mistaken.

If you want to maintain a relationship with your loved one, you should not provoke quarrels or constantly make comments to the young man, pointing out his shortcomings. You love him, right? Then accept him as he is. Of course, if your only one has bad habits, you can’t put up with it. But you won’t be able to achieve your goal using a “frontal attack.” At best, you will create painful lumps in your soul, and at worst, you will kill all the good that exists between you and your chosen one.

The main mistakes in relationships between men

The psychology of men and women is completely different. And both sides make obvious mistakes in their relationships with each other.

The main mistakes men make in relationships:

Lack of romance . Most women are subject to emotions, they want romance, they want to hear compliments. For women, relationships without romance become gray and cold, although men more often do not see any need for romance
Compliments . Women love compliments. Although men, although they won’t admit it, also love to hear flattering words addressed to them. However, they themselves, especially after a long relationship, forget to give compliments or simply do not consider it necessary to do so. They may believe that these are unnecessary words that are not necessary, because everything is already clear. And a woman can try in every possible way to look good and cook exclusive dishes. In response, she will want to hear a compliment addressed to her. And when he is not heard, silent grievances begin

Compliments in relationships

Comparison with mother or someone else's wife. Even if your wife cooks a little worse than your mother, never tell her about it. It’s better to take that same recipe without her knowledge and offer to cook dinner together. This way your wife will be satisfied with cooking together, and next time you will get a new dish
Lack of attention to her problems. Even if a woman smiles when she meets you at home, this does not mean that everything is always fine with her. Sometimes ask her about her problems and concerns, offer your help. You should be her support in any situation.
Lie . Men often lie, believing that a woman does not need to know the truth. The woman has a different opinion on this matter. She believes that you, as her man, should tell her absolutely everything, even if she doesn't like it. If lies become your constant companion, then the moment will come when your wife will convict you of lying even when you try to go buy bread.

Husband is lying

Diffidence . Women love confident men. Such men inspire confidence. A woman is not afraid to start a family with such a man. Not to mention men who are afraid to even decide when it is better to take a vacation. Such men are attractive only to those women who want to create matriarchy in the family
Everything is decided by money . There is no doubt that women love good gifts. But there is no need to gift her with expensive things for every insult or every desire. This is how you dig your own hole. You may run into a woman who will not be at all interested in your inner world, your problems. As soon as you start refusing such a woman gifts or what you think are unnecessary expenses, such a woman will run away from you in search of a new wallet.

Mistakes men make in relationships

Keep in touch

A sure sign of an imminent separation is the cessation of confidential conversations and communication. For her boyfriend, a girl should not only be an interesting person, but also a good friend. Therefore, try to become the person with whom your chosen one will talk about literally everything: cars, movies, music, parents, friends. Freedom in communication is the main thing that can unite and force you to show interest in your other half.

The main mistakes in women's relationships

Women, although they believe that a man does everything wrong, make no less stupid mistakes :

You became his mother . Many women make this fatal mistake. Why fatal? Because a man will no longer perceive you as a sexy woman. He will have the most tender feelings for you, but he can fulfill his sexual desires on the side. Stop putting pressure on him with excessive care and guardianship. Give him free rein. Let him choose what to wear. Let him choose which route you will take. Let him be independent
You hope to remake it . You will never change a grown man! You may be able to achieve some changes in his behavior. But this will not happen because you achieved it. But because he wanted it that way. Only strong love and respect for you can make a man change

Is it possible to change my husband?

You respect and love him more than yourself . Not every woman is strong enough to admit it to herself. And you answer the question: “If the only thing left in the store is a bar of milk chocolate (which you love, but your husband doesn’t like) and a bar of dark chocolate (which you don’t like, but he does). You only have money for one tile. Which one will you buy? Most women will buy chocolate for a man. And it's not about the chocolate. And the fact is that a woman is accustomed to turning a blind eye to her interests for the sake of a man’s interests. It’s better to correct this state of affairs before you stop feeling significant in your relationship.
nag him too . Of course, it may seem to you that all your moral teachings are true. But sometimes you can carefully hint, and not raise a scandal. An unwashed plate right now may not be worth your scandals

Mistakes women make in relationships

Don't be categorical in your expressions. Instead of saying “How long can this go on”, “You don’t want to do anything”, “I’m tired of you”, say “You know, I’m very sad that you didn’t do this. After all, I told you how important this is for me. I really hoped that you would understand me.” With such words you will make a feeling of guilt awaken in your man. So, he will think that he really did you bad. And the first phrases will most likely only cause indignation and responses like “Leave me alone, I do what I want.” After all, with such words you are trying to crush his male core
You are relaxed . Getting married or living with a man for a long time does not mean that you no longer need to wear makeup, watch your figure, or shave your legs. A man always wants to see a beautiful woman next to him

A woman takes care of herself

You are completely absorbed by him . Never forget about your old friends and hobbies. Men most often do not change their leisure time when a girl appears. He still meets with friends and goes to the bathhouse. So you do the same. First of all, you won't tire each other out. Secondly, you won’t be offended that your man went for a walk and you are sitting at home
You say what you mean . Women are very emotional. You can say too much in a minute after an argument. Wait for your emotions to calm down
You don't want sex . Sex is a very important part of a relationship. If you notice that you have lost desire, then try to get it back. How to do this, read the article All about libido in women. Decreased libido in women: causes. How to increase libido in women? Periodically add variety to your sex life. Any man will appreciate this. If you don’t know how to do this, then get ideas from the article How to diversify your intimate life? How to stop being shy about sex?

Sex strengthens relationships

IMPORTANT: Be a wise woman. Sometimes it’s better to remain silent, so that later you can carefully put into a man’s head what you want

Create unifying traditions

Psychologists say that any love relationship must have some clues that will help hold it together. Unifying traditions can become such “hooks”. Each couple can form them for themselves independently. For example, most young people choose some secret places that no one else knows about except them. It will be quite romantic to hide in such a place from the whole world and the people around you. Nothing unites people more than small shared secrets, celebrating the first kiss, the anniversary of a meeting, the first intimacy. This all maintains pleasant memories and strengthens relationships.