Svetlana 08/27/2015 Uncategorized, Marriage and family relationships, psychology of family relationships, children, household arrangements Comments on the entry How to ask a man for money without getting rejected? disabled 8,801 Views
Decades of feminism have taken their toll. Fragile young ladies who strive to hide behind a broad man’s shoulder are not in honor today. The world belongs to confident girls who provide for themselves independently and dashingly resolve any problems should they arise on the horizon... But this is a double-edged sword. The more determined and free women become, the more difficult it is for them to turn to a man for help. Especially if it is a request for money. It’s awkward, scary, but what will he think... How to ask correctly so as not to appear in his eyes as a mercantile bitch or a weak loser?
- Ways to Express a Request
Personally
Clear and straightforward
You need to learn how to ask a man for money; psychology does not perceive it and does not understand any hints, so it is better to formulate your request quite straightforwardly and clearly.
Men don't read your mind, and they can't figure out your needs on their own. But if you are afraid, then you can start with light hints, say what you would like and look at his further reaction.
If some kind of stupor arises, then there is simply nothing to expect from him in the future, so you should think about whether the man next to you is the one with whom you would like to live your whole life.
How to ask a man: psychology
In the modern world, free, emancipated women with unlimited possibilities and free will are increasingly found, so all men can do is nervously smoke on the sidelines. Often, women themselves suppress the desire in men to take initiative, surprise, and accomplish feats.
Modern woman
Despite this, a woman at heart still remains a woman who dreams of seeing a reliable man’s shoulder next to her, who wants to at least sometimes feel like a weak, defenseless girl, who wants to receive signs of attention, who just wants to be happy.
Having mastered many of the skills inherent in men and discouraged them from helping and caring for women, the fair sex must be able to ask a man for anything. This can be help in everyday life, gifts, and money.
IMPORTANT: If you decide to learn how to ask a man for something, you must be prepared for a fairly long period of adaptation - you were not like this before, the man was not used to satisfying your needs and desires in this way.
Sometimes, in order for a woman to be strong, she has to resort to cunning and show weakness, to become helpless, but with her needs met.
The woman is cunning
IMPORTANT: Next to a weak, defenseless woman who knows how to thank, a man feels like a man, reveals his potential, shows strength and power, and gains self-confidence.
A man values more the woman in whom he has invested money, energy and strength, and not the woman who herself does everything for a man, forgetting that she is a woman - this is a fact.
IMPORTANT: Requests are not a sign of weakness and dependence.
Before reaping the benefits of your requests, you should focus your attention on the most common mistakes and try to eliminate them from your arsenal:
- You shouldn’t think that men know about the needs, thoughts and desires of women, that they have to guess everything on their own. This is not true, no one knows what is on your mind, you should definitely communicate your thoughts and desires to your man
- You shouldn’t take on too much and try to do everything on your own - this will inevitably lead to the fact that at one point you will begin to get angry and offended at the man for not providing attention and support, and your caustic statements that put pressure on him against the man in will definitely begin to spoil your relationship with him
- Pressure and manipulation should be avoided - no one owes anything to anyone, and even more so, you should not openly declare this to a man
You can't force a man
Immediately determine for a man that he should give you money
It often happens that couples do not get married, but simply live together, and this can subconsciously influence the actions of the partners.
A woman or girl thinks about who she is in this house and whether she should ask for money from her chosen one.
But this is not at all correct, you live together, so the man still bears a certain responsibility for you, he must understand this.
Important issues should be discussed in advance so that there are no offenses against each other in the future.
How to learn to ask a man?
In order to learn how to correctly ask men for something, you should stop refusing seemingly completely banal things:
- From being given a seat in transport, in the office, or in any other place
- From the fact that you are offered to bring weights, even if there are no weights at all, be it a bag or a bag, a box, etc.
- From the fact that they want to pay for you in a store, cafe, restaurant
- From when they show interest in your needs and desires, when I directly ask what to buy you, give you, etc. You should boldly talk about your desires
Once you allow yourself not to refuse the help offered to you, you can safely start asking.
IMPORTANT: It is better to start training on minor requests, very small and not very difficult for a man to fulfill in terms of time and cost.
A man helps around the house
There are some rules, remembering which, you will more and more often begin to get positive results from your requests:
- To get the result you need, you should choose the right time and place for your requests - you should not ask if the man is busy watching TV, playing a computer game, and even more so working. In such cases, the man will either get angry or not understand the essence of your requests at all - neither option suits you
The man is busy
- You should definitely make requests to a man when he is in a fairly good mood, when he is able to listen and understand you
- When making requests, you should watch your intonation - your voice should be calm, gentle, soft. A raised tone with notes of demand will not help you achieve the desired result.
IMPORTANT: Psychologists say that for starters, you can ask for something that a man already does for you, for example, to take your child to kindergarten - he will initially be proud that he can satisfy your request.
- A man should be given time to think about your request and evaluate his strength. Don’t put pressure or force someone to make a quick decision.
- You should realistically assess a man’s capabilities—you shouldn’t ask for something he can’t do.
- In requests addressed to men, you should avoid flowery phrases - essence and sincerity are important to them
- You need to learn to ask with dignity, you shouldn’t pretend to be a helpless victim.
- You should not ask with a question phrase, but with an affirmative one - you should not doubt him. For example, the phrase “Will you pick me up after work?” it is better to replace it with the phrase “Please pick me up after work”
- If your request is just a whim, albeit very desirable for you, then it makes sense to offer the man something in return. For example, he gives you coffee in bed, and a little later you cook his favorite dish.
- Having learned to ask, you should not use it too often and turn a man into a goldfish. Thoughtful and truly meaningful requests will bring much greater satisfaction to both.
- In the modern world, in the bustle of affairs, a man can simply forget about satisfying your requests. If a man has forgotten about his promises, then you should not be afraid to remind him of this, using the previous rules
A woman gets her way
- Even if your request was refused, you should not satisfy the desired need on your own, demonstrating to the man that you can handle everything anyway. It’s better to postpone your request, and then turn to the man again, thereby showing that you can’t cope without him
- You should react to a refusal received completely calmly; you should not be offended by the man or get angry. In this case, it is better to slowly but surely try to convince him that you need his help.
The woman is aggressive
- Don't forget about gratitude and appreciation. Appreciated actions will set a man up to further satisfy your requests
It is worth saying that psychologists suggest using the “Three Ps” rule:
- Ask
A request is a voluntary permission for oneself to be weak, and for a man to be strong.
- Give thanks
Thanking a man for his actions, you charge him with energy for further actions, make him feel important and needed.
- Praise
Praise and admiration can cultivate in a man his natural nobility, which will help him more actively satisfy your needs and desires.
Woman thanks man
Harmony of relationships: Man gives - Woman receives
“Financial tenderness” - this is how we can call harmony in which an equal exchange of monetary energy occurs. A man gives (buys, spends, gives) and does not worry that a woman will be with him as long as he can give. And a woman, receiving (unselfishly accepts, exchanges for sincere care, love, affection), is sure that she is “behind a stone wall”, which will be with her at any age, weight or mood. Of course, many men are very comfortable just buying love and selling it to women. Modern men are in no hurry to start a family, and ladies themselves can easily buy a fur coat made of expensive vicuña and put it on themselves, provide for their family and feed all the children of Africa, go to war and fly to the moon. But can they together create a relationship in which there is room for unconditional love?
They can, if a man takes the right to be a man, and a woman does not take away his roles from him. In general, a woman has the main mission of building a family. Her great attachment to earthly energies allows her to create the foundations of life and family traditions. Therefore, everything will work out if a woman allows herself to accept care, protection, prosperity, and begins to motivate a man with her love to “hunt for mammoths”; if she understands that accepting money from her beloved man is not humiliation, but a vital energy exchange. But you don’t have to wait for guarantees, draw up acceptance certificates or issue an invoice! There are no guarantees in love, but, oddly enough, there is a place for money. Money that expresses mutual gratitude at the energetic level. But what about a sincere “Thank you!” They answer: “I’m not for sale!”?
Avoiding Mistakes
- Men are not telepaths. In general, they have no idea about anything, even with hints. If you want something, tell them straight to the point. This way, you will avoid misunderstandings and will not get on the nerves of either yourself or him.
- Don't put all the household responsibilities on your fragile shoulders. Sooner or later, you will get fed up and begin to tell your boyfriend that he is not helping you. In this case, we must not forget that you yourself did not give him the opportunity to express himself in family life, and now you are dissatisfied with his inaction.
- Don't resort to manipulating your man. Understand that there are no debtors in a relationship; everything must come on your own initiative and desire.
How to ask a man for money: phrases, examples
You can also use the following phrases:
- Dear, I have a small request for you... (my own request)
- Of course, I understand that you have the right to refuse, but I would like to ask you... (my own request)
- I will be very happy if you agree... (your own request)
- You know, I’m so upset... I don’t know if I should tell you, I’m afraid that you will refuse. Here's the thing... (essence) Can you help me?
The woman really needs money
- I'm preparing a surprise for you. This is what you love... Would you also like to do something nice for me? I would like... (my own request)
- Dear, how I wish you would... (your own request)
- I really like it when you... (your own request)
- You're so cute when... (your own request)
- I am terribly happy when you... (your own request)
- You know, today I dreamed... (my own request). It would be cool if the dream came true
- All your girlfriends will die of envy if you... (your own request)
A man is pleased with himself
Every woman should remember that she is a woman - it is worth learning to use her charms and feminine tricks to achieve her goals. Thus, women are able to increase the self-esteem of men.
How to ask for gifts from men?
IMPORTANT: No matter how you ask a man for gifts, he will not have the desire to fulfill your requests if in everyday life you do not notice the little things that he does for you.
We discussed in detail the rules that should be used when you ask a man for a gift in the sections above. However, you should listen to some more advice:
- To fuel the desire of men to spend money on you, you should definitely remember the gifts given earlier and show the abilities of your memory. This should be done carefully, not too often - completely unobtrusively.
IMPORTANT: Sometimes gifts are associated with holidays, so arrange them for yourself and tell your man about them.
Woman creates a holiday
- When asking for gifts, women should use their feminine charms - sexuality, femininity
- Men also need exquisite compliments, and their gratitude and appreciation may well be expressed in the form of a gift
- Sometimes you can ask for more and at the same time settle for less. For example, “Dear, how I would like you to buy me a fur coat, but I understand that at the moment you most likely will not have the opportunity, so maybe we can buy me a sheepskin coat that costs half the price?”
IMPORTANT: Love yourself, pay attention to yourself and you will definitely be rewarded for your behavior.
Woman receiving a gift
- It is better if you prove that the gift you bought will bring direct or indirect benefits to the man. For example, tell your man that you saved a certain amount of money by buying the necessary item at a discount on sale
- Use psychological techniques. For example, remember that it is much more difficult for a person to part with cash than with bank cards
- If a man has agreed to give the desired gift, then you should not delay the purchase for long - you need the gift here and now. Sometimes it happens that due to circumstances, a man may change his decision, and you will have to accept it
