Imagine watching a movie
Try not to attach much importance to the events happening around you. Consider that all these processes are part of the script of some feature film. Imagine that your whole life is a movie. If you can look at the world in this way, you will free yourself from emotions and see the bigger picture of what is happening. At the same time, you can observe the emergence of various emotions in you that push you to take part in this film. However, you will only observe and not manifest them.
About women's indifference
The main signs of a girl’s indifference:
You communicate with a girl, she tells you about her worries, events and emotions that occasionally occur in her life. It seems to you that she completely trusts you, since she introduces you to such needs. But you need to pay special attention to what exactly she is talking to you about. If suddenly a girl decides to let you in on the secrets of her life, for example, to lead a colorful story about how one person recently invited her to a nice cafe where they spent time, then you should be wary. Most likely, she sees you only as a friend to whom she can tell absolutely everything. Although it may be that with such an action she is just trying to make you jealous. But in any case, if a girl has real feelings for you, she will never try to provoke you. Maybe in this case there is a little sympathy on her part, and there is a possibility that she has some kind of purpose.- The same situation can happen if you saw her with another guy with whom she has an obvious unfriendly relationship. Here you can also attribute everything to the jealousy that she wants to arouse in you. But at the same time, you don’t need to reassure yourself with this, because if a girl saw her chosen one in you, she will definitely not allow herself to appear in front of you with another guy, and, most likely, on the contrary, she will not allow such a situation to happen with all her might.
- The girl is trying by any means to interrupt the conversation about your relationship. For example, when you give her some kind of compliment or talk about how you could go to some place together. In this case, you don’t need to think that she’s just being modest. This is how the lady shows real indifference to you. If a young man is attractive to a girl, she will support similar topics, if only because they are pleasant to her.
- You give a girl your hand when she goes down the stairs, and she pulls it back or continues to go down on her own. If you come closer to her, she moves away from you. This is a clear sign of unsympathy. She doesn't like you as a man, so she doesn't want to feel your touch or be around you.
- If a girl doesn’t pick up the phone at all, and then doesn’t call back.
It should also be remembered that not a single determination method described can be completely reliable. You need to weigh all the facts carefully, otherwise you may create a love that doesn't really exist.
Stay rational
Try to hide your pride, beliefs and vulnerabilities. Your reaction to events happening around you should be limited to interest. Anger, defensiveness, resentment and other manifestations should remain aside. For most people, such actions may seem extremely difficult. For example, if someone attacks a person’s belief system, there is a natural desire to defend them and defend their point of view. To remain indifferent, you need to be as open as possible and allow for the possibility of any development in any situation. If someone doesn't agree with you, tell them it's their choice and you respect them, but you stand your ground.
Signs of indifference on the part of a girl
Many guys consider girls to be cunning and calculating, so they often see signs of manipulation in their behavior and do not know how to react. A striking example is the stupor of a man, when he cannot figure out whether his beloved is really indifferent to him or whether something else is hidden behind her coldness.
However, it is not so difficult to understand that a girl is indifferent to you, since there are many signs indicating this.
READ
How to forget the girl you love: effective tips and psychological techniques
The easiest way to determine is to ask directly. However, you should not expect a sincere answer. Women are often mysterious, preferring veiled answers and sign language, so knowledge of female psychology comes in handy here.
You should talk about your feelings at the right moment, when the lady of your heart is in a good mood and the situation suits the occasion. At first, you can simply confess your love and ask her how she feels. If the answer is silence, then this is a bad sign. But you shouldn’t make hasty conclusions; perhaps the woman had a negative experience in a relationship, so she is afraid to repeat it again. Here you should be patient and pay attention to her behavior in different situations.
With personal contact
Many books and articles have been written about how to understand that a girl is interested in you. Some pick-up artists have put forward entire theories about which signs are good and which do not give the slightest chance.
So, the first sign that she is not interested in a guy is refusing sex. If you like a guy, then there will definitely be intimacy. This also includes constant excuses and avoidance of intimacy under any pretext. But there is a nuance here. Perhaps the girl does not want to rush things, she wants to make sure of her partner’s feelings, get used to it and get to know him better. In this case, this is a sign of a serious relationship, not indifference, which means there is no need to worry.
Another cause for concern is if your friend suddenly changes her attitude and behavior from time to time. She can be tender and passionate, and the next day she can be cold and indifferent. Most often this indicates hidden motives, which include:
- the desire to make a partner jealous;
- the desire to test feelings and test the strength of the psyche (this also happens);
- banal benefit;
- the desire to look in a good light in front of friends;
- escape from loneliness;
- unresolved internal conflicts, etc.
Be that as it may, most psychologists agree that ambiguous behavior speaks more about the desire to date, rather than the presence of sincere feelings. There is also a very high probability that the girl is simply manipulating or wants to assert herself. A few more signs of female indifference:
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What to do if a girl is constantly offended over trifles
- She never makes contact first, does not write, does not call, etc.
- After a quarrel or disagreement, a friend does not apologize, does not try to make peace and does not try to improve the relationship.
- Ridicule and desire to offend.
- Pronounced arrogance and arrogance.
- Frequent mentions of meeting other guys and colorful stories about dating and kissing them.
- Lack of response to complements.
- If a girl, in any attempt to flirt, tries to avoid the conversation or moves it to another topic, then this indicates that she perceives her boyfriend as a friend.
- During walks or meetings, she avoids physical contact, does not want to be touched, and keeps her distance. Even during a date, the lady does not allow herself to be touched, avoids kisses, hugs, etc.
In addition, you can understand whether a girl needs you based on other signs.
During correspondence
During any email correspondence, you can understand that your chosen one does not need you; in this case, the girl will ignore the messages or answer dryly and in monosyllables. But it’s much easier to express your feelings online than in real life, which means you need to start there.
If the chosen one writes detailed posts, answers quickly and regularly starts communicating herself, then we can say that the girl is not indifferent to you, and this is easy to understand - just ask her a couple of questions and look at the reaction.
However, there are also ambiguous situations when communication went well, a friend wrote and seemed to take the initiative, but then the conversation fizzled out. How to understand this? The best option is to force things, offer to meet, exchange phone numbers, go to a cafe, etc. If agreement follows, then there is no doubt that this relationship will continue.
During a telephone conversation
Phone conversations can also provide a lot of information about your partner's attitude. Here you need to pay attention to how often she starts a conversation first, whether she has topics for conversation. Is she willing to communicate? Perhaps she has more important things to do or people to talk to.
A serious indicator is her interest in the conversation. If it seems that a girl is bored, then there is a risk that she is indifferent.
Chatting like a stranger
If you want to show your indifference to a specific person, communicate with him as with a stranger. Don't elevate him above others, don't give him more attention than others. You can still talk to him, but when the conversation ends, forget about the person as a stranger. This conversation is especially effective if you are seeing a person who you hate and who hates you. A detached and indifferent conversation in this case is a more powerful weapon than the manifestation of any reactions. The person will expect the usual reactions from you, and will not know what to do when you leave.
I want to become indifferent to my husband
Hello, Sabina!
“There’s no point in getting in touch with him, I’ll do my duties: washing, cleaning, cooking. But I don’t want to think about him.”
Sabina, no matter how much you would like not to think about him and his attitude towards you, you will not be able to do this while you live with him. Faced with constant injustice, any person will experience dissatisfaction, developing into anger and even hatred. If dissatisfaction is suppressed, then over time it will manifest itself in your body in the form of diseases. Or you will take it out on the children. Some become depressed, others begin to get involved in alcohol or drugs. Everyone in their own way finds a way out that helps them not to face what does not suit them. A person may be forgotten temporarily, but the number of problems will only increase.
Your discontent will accumulate and your condition will affect not only your relationship with your husband, but also with your children. Children will and already see a constantly dissatisfied and unhappy mother. It makes them feel bad. If you really feel sorry for your children, then you need to understand that children learn how to interact with a partner in their own family, from the example of their parents. Think about what example you are setting for them? Will you, as a mother, be happy if your children live the way you live now? The girl will act like you - endure everything, face disrespect and use, she will not know that there is another way of relationships, because her mother did not teach her differently. The boy does not respect his wife and live his own life, go out with friends and drink, like his father does, and most likely will change partners often. Is this the kind of relationship you want for them in their families? If you don’t think about it now, then sooner or later not only you, but also your children will have to face the consequences of your today’s choice.
You chose the position of staying with him because you thought, “And who needs me with 2 children.” It is your conviction that prevents you from starting to behave differently. In order for you to allow yourself to declare that you don’t like the state of things in your family and need to change something, you need to figure out where the thoughts came from that no one needs you? Why do you think so? Having found the answers to these questions, you will be able to understand that your beliefs may not be relevant and, by changing them, you will have the opportunity to improve your relationship with your husband by changing your behavior strategy. This can be done by working with a psychologist.
You can read about limiting beliefs here. How they are formed, how to change an old belief to a new one.
How can I become indifferent to someone I can’t forget? (1 answer)
Sincerely, Irina Monroe, psychologist Los Angeles, consultations on Skype.
Good answer17 Bad answer3
Symptoms
1. A man stops showing all sorts of interest in his wife - from sexual to ordinary. Doesn't notice her bad mood, poor health, or even external changes. “This behavior is a sure sign that a woman is no longer interested in a man, not only as a sexual partner, but also as a life partner,” says the psychologist. 2. Emotional cooling. Outwardly, the man is still friendly and affectionate, kisses you upon meeting and good night, and fulfills all his duties. But absolutely without any emotions, as if he was serving his duty. Life becomes monotonous and monotonous. Even the scandals stop. 3. You have nothing to talk about with each other. You can stay in the same apartment for days and exchange only a couple of words during this time. And those, as a rule, are on everyday topics. 4. A man takes up a hobby that does not involve your participation. For example, out of the blue I became interested in football, started going to the gym and fishing. “You just stopped being interesting to your husband, and he wants to see you as little as possible.” This is evidence that he treats you at least indifferently,” explains Olga Ufimtsova.
Causes
1. A woman ignores the male ego. It is very important for him to feel that he is unique and inimitable. And if a woman does not notice his efforts for the benefit of the family, ignores his successes, criticizes, etc., then she thereby demonstrates indifference to his Ego and kills his sense of significance and self-esteem. 2. Stopped development. In the very nature of a man lies the need to move forward. And if a woman does not meet this need, firmly frozen at her level of development, then the alienation between the spouses will invariably increase. 3. Loss of “marketable” appearance. Often, after marriage, women explain their indifference to their own appearance by lack of time. In fact, behind all this there is a loss of interest in his own husband, which he senses. 4. Consumer attitude. Often women only strive to receive from their chosen one and not give anything in return. But no matter how loving a man is, sooner or later such a consumerist attitude begins to strain him. 5. Manipulation. Many women literally twist ropes out of their chosen ones, skillfully cultivating in them a feeling of pity or guilt towards themselves. However, over time, a man gets used to such manipulations, and then completely rebels against them. He begins to feel that he is simply being used, resentment and aggression accumulate inside, which leads to alienation.
"Treatment"
In such cases, a man is usually kept from breaking up completely by fear of future changes, or a sense of responsibility, or the hope that the relationship will improve over time. In any case, there is a chance to save them. The main thing is to notice changes in your husband’s behavior and his attitude towards you in time. But to do this, you need to monitor and be interested in the internal state of your spouse from the very beginning, his experiences, problems and feelings. Having discovered that your husband has become distant, try to minimize the showdown, stop being offended by little things and try to get him to talk. Explain what doesn't suit you and try to figure out what he's missing. “If you find that you have practically no common topics left, start small,” the psychologist advises. — Ask what he does at work, what book he read. Finally, tell me some gossip. Start focusing your attention on your husband's positive qualities. Look for reasons to admire and do not be shy to demonstrate your need for it. Well, of course, try to become more attentive to his needs, even in small things. Don't skimp on expressing your appreciation for what he does for you. This, of course, will require some effort from you, but if you don’t want to be left alone, then it’s worth trying.
I don’t love my husband, what to do: advice from a psychologist
If you are not ready to leave a man or do not know what to do in this situation, you think: “I don’t love my husband, but I have children, I need advice from a psychologist,” approach the problem rationally. Experts give the following recommendations to help you understand yourself and your feelings.
- Don't rush to conclusions
First, get rid of the thought of divorce, at least for a while. Be objective and analyze your emotions. It is necessary to understand whether the feelings have really faded away, or whether this is, for example, a manifestation of chronic fatigue/depression. The fact is that we are very susceptible to the influence of external factors. Problems at work, in everyday life, and with relatives not only take away the lion’s share of our vitality and energy, but also provoke the appearance of mental disorders. They are different and have many symptoms. Here are some of them:
- Manifestation of aggression, anger. If you often lash out at your loved one, think about whether he really deserved such an attitude, or whether it’s all your emotions;
- Apathy is indifference to everything, including a man. It can also be caused by disturbances in the functioning of the nervous system;
- Excessive emotionality and sensitivity.
These are not all the consequences that can make you doubt your love for your spouse. In order not to make hasty conclusions, first remember what happened in life and whether it is connected with your feelings. Perhaps you will find a relationship between events that somehow influenced you and “dislike” for your husband.
- Find out the cause
If you are determined to break off the relationship, confident that you no longer love your husband, but you are stopped by the fact that you have children together, you can try to fix everything. To do this, you need to get rid of what provoked the desire to separate.
Remember what was the starting point. Does this reason really matter? Perhaps the reason you wanted to break up no longer plays any role. Maybe at the moment of making the decision you were on edge and could not control your emotions. There are situations when even serious reasons are not a reason for divorce if they do not currently affect life.
- Discuss the current situation with your husband
You can often hear the following question from a woman: “I don’t love my husband, but I have children, what should I do in such a situation?” Almost always it is addressed to friends, parents, psychologist or other close people. But the first person who should hear it is your spouse. If you feel your love is fading, tell your man directly. This issue primarily concerns him, so it is necessary to solve the problem together. Don't be afraid of condemnation, grief, or insults.
If you think that you don’t love your spouse, then he should find out about it now, and not when you talk to your mother, friend, colleague, decide that you need to leave, and do it unexpectedly.
Like all family issues, this one needs to be discussed between the two of you. Perhaps you were too hasty with your decision. After all, if you don’t share your experiences with your other half, you can simply drown in them. It often happens that a girl comes up with a lot of problems herself, and after talking with a guy it turns out that they were completely insignificant. Therefore, before making a decision, consult with a man and discuss a plan of action.
- If your feelings have faded, make a decision about the future of your relationship.
“How to love your husband if you don’t?” - a question that arises among girls who, for example, feel sorry for losing a relationship or leaving their family. But is it necessary to stay with your spouse if there are no feelings? The answer suggests itself - it’s not worth it. Why deceive a person and pretend that you love him, much less pretend to be a happy couple for others?
Many women ask: “I don’t love my husband, but I have children. What to do?". The same thing you would do if they weren't there: walk away. It won’t be possible to pretend to be lovers for a long time, and sooner or later the child will understand or learn from others that you were lying to him. The situation is not the best, you will agree. In addition, it is better for the baby that his parents live in peace, harmony and are happy, albeit separately from each other. Therefore, even if there are heirs in the family, there is no need to try to preserve what has already been destroyed.
Women are afraid of divorce for other reasons. For example, the opinions of others. For some, it is very important what others think. When making a decision, don't worry about such things. Your personal life concerns only you, and only you are responsible for your own actions. Remember that people can judge anything, and don't pay attention to their opinions. Only your thoughts and feelings should matter.
Even everyday difficulties frighten some people. But the absence of a man in the house or financial issues are not the factors that can force you to live with an unloved person.
- Crisis in relationships - contact a family psychologist
If the previous recommendations did not help you understand yourself, contact a specialist. To solve the problem “I don’t love my husband, what should I do?” I need advice from a psychologist. He will help you with questions that bother you, eliminate any omissions and objectively assess the situation. Depending on your spouse’s mood and your desire, you can choose an individual or joint session.
How can I get my wife out of her state of indifference towards me and save my family?
Good afternoon, please give me some advice. How can I get my wife out of her state of indifference towards me and save my family??? The wife is in a state of “I don’t care anymore”, “I want peace of mind”, “time will tell”, “I don’t care about you, and I won’t love you again.” As we found out, my attitude led to this state (lack of attention to my wife and child, excessive nervousness, stubbornness). According to her, she tolerated my behavior for many years, tried to adjust herself, rebuild me, tried to talk, but I ignored or rejected all this. I heard these words after a frank conversation a month ago (unfortunately, this is what we said, perhaps for the first time in 8 years of marriage). And I admitted (really, sincerely admitted!!!) that it was true. I declared my readiness to become who she wanted me to be and who I was supposed to be. But in the end, for more than a month now, the wife has been in a state of indifference and unwillingness to discuss the future. He asked me to forgive me and offered to reboot the relationship. Unfortunately, the result is described at the beginning of the question. She says that she used to be offended, but now there is no feeling of resentment, only indifference, which means there is nothing to forgive. After our conversation, I spend all my free time at home and don’t stay at work. I began to devote ALL my free time to the child. But this is the only thing I can show her as proof that I have changed and this is sincere and forever!!! Otherwise, my hands are tied... We have a 7-year-old child, I cannot admit the thought of divorce, I love my family very much. The current “hostel” regime really kills me: we communicate only in case of “everyday” or “organizational” issues: who will take out the trash bag on the way to work, who is more comfortable taking the child to school, etc. The wife is asking me not to write SMS, not to call, no bouquets, etc. - these are all, according to her, feigned signs of attention, which now only irritate. She says that she needs time, but she is not ready to say what will happen next, since she herself does not know. I am very worried that I cannot do anything, and any of my actions are perceived not as attempts to improve and start again, but as attempts to simply make amends for past mistakes. Even my initiatives to just chat “about nothing” are “stressful,” and talking about relationships almost irritates her. What should I do? In what direction should I (we) move? Wait as your wife asks? Be more persistent? Go to a psychologist? Should you go alone or together? I’m afraid that she won’t go, for the reason “I don’t need this now” or “don’t strain me, I asked”... What should I do???