Compatibility of a couple in the aspect of “introvert

Introvert and extrovert difference

The concept of introvert and extrovert implies two large groups into which psychologists divide people depending on their behavior and the way they interact with the world around them. Let's take a closer look at each of these personality types to decide which one to classify ourselves as. Then consider how you can use these differences to make your marriage stronger?

Signs of an extrovert

Bold, loud, a lot, fun, interesting. These words briefly describe the relationship extroverts have with the outside world. They:

They draw vital energy from active interaction with others.
They cannot imagine their life without communication.
They are open and easily make contact with different people.
They are able to calmly start a conversation on any topic.
They quickly join an unfamiliar company, instantly become the center of attraction, exude jokes, make new acquaintances and enjoy communication.
For extroverts, the more people the better.
They are alien to the feeling of uncertainty, the fear of being misunderstood, the fear of making a mistake.
Public speaking is the forte of extroverts. They are always interesting to listen to, they are full of enthusiasm, new ideas and radiate optimism.

Signs of an introvert

Loneliness, silence, depth, creativity. Introverts are the opposite of extroverts. They:

They are not ready to communicate with the first person they meet, so they avoid noisy companies and large crowds of people, they prefer to think rather than talk.
They are hardworking. Introverts are very careful about what they do and are good at it. They are very effective at work, as they are always focused, attentive, neat, punctual and organized.
It is difficult to piss them off, they never complain about life and generally talk little about themselves.
They draw vitality from solitude and use their inner world as a source of energy.
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Introverts are very observant. Creative personalities are often found among them.
They love to think and analyze too much before doing something. As a result, they seem too slow, even inhibited, to others.
They do not like to come into contact with the outside world: talk about themselves, their hobbies, feelings, opinions. Therefore, there is an opinion that communication with them is rather uninteresting and even boring.
So, the acquaintance took place, the masks were torn off from everyone. Now let's look at whether introverts and extroverts can be like a couple together?

Strengths of Ambiverts

Due to their “duality,” ambiverts are considered the most flexible and balanced type. They easily find a common language with both sociable extroverts and sensitive introverts, adapt more easily to any conditions and always strive for harmony. These qualities are highly valued in many professions. For example, in sales.

According to American psychologist Adam Grant, it is ambiverts who are ideal salespeople (and not extroverts, as is commonly believed in the classification with two psychotypes). Thanks to the ability to listen (this is where the introverted part of the personality comes into play) and the willingness to interact with the buyer (and this is extroversion), they manage to find a perfectly balanced solution for each client, without showing excessive persistence and importunity (which is sometimes abused by extroverted salespeople). Ambiverts, who combine courage and prudence, activity and patience, sensitivity and communication skills, make inspiring leaders and reliable partners, talented entrepreneurs and irreplaceable workers.

Introverted man and extroverted woman: compatibility in a couple

The study found that differences in personality types were not associated with marital difficulties. Opposites regarding introversion/extroversion do not foretell any particular problems in marriage. They can get along great.

Introverts and extroverts, no matter how different they are from each other, often find themselves in romantic relationships. Such couples are classic opposites who attract and balance each other.

Conclusion: There is no reason why an introvert can't have a fun, fulfilling, and completely in sync relationship with an extrovert, no matter how introverted they are. To do this, you just need to recognize each other's needs, understand what it means to be an introvert and an extrovert, and learn to find a compromise.

Don't take an introvert's behavior personally

An introverted guy on the couch with an extroverted girl.
Everything is not what it seems - this is about introverts. It just so happens that their inner world is like a bottomless ocean, and they love to dive into it. This often makes introverts appear distant, sad, or upset. Most often it has nothing to do with their real feelings.

The emotions of such people are not obvious, since introversion involves deep withdrawal into oneself, and what others perceive as coldness and indifference remains on the surface. To understand the true spirit of an introvert, you need to treat him with greater sensitivity and attentiveness.

Introverts and extroverts: advice from a psychologist on how to get along in marriage

How to make a successful marriage between an introvert and an extrovert? Marty and Michael Laney, in Introvert and Extrovert Love When Opposites Attract, advise:

Accept and appreciate your differences

The first thing to do is accept the difference in reloading methods. Extroverts get energy from communicating with people: their energy and mood suffer from loneliness. Introverts reboot and recharge from solitude. Their energy levels suffer when they are around people for long periods of time, especially in large groups.

Once you recognize the differences between an introvert and an extrovert, learn to respect each other's energy needs. Consider mutual feelings, especially when it comes to social events, stimulation and quiet time. Even if your feelings seem to be known to each other, your partner may not know it until you tell them.

Remember, while this difference can be a source of conflict, it can also be a potential for growth. You have the power to choose how to deal with differences: value them for the variety in your relationship or be forever dissatisfied.

Mutual cooperation

Many extroverts do not always remember how important solitude is for an introvert. Sometimes they may try to force him to do things he doesn't want to do. So don't be afraid to remind your extrovert that you need some alone time.

It is also useful for an introvert when an extrovert woman has many friends and hobbies. When you stay at home and your spouse goes to hang out with friends, you both get what you need. This means encouraging your spouse to spend time with her friends or do her favorite things.

Make sure each of you is receiving the type of communication you enjoy.

Recognize that you may react differently to stress.

So don't be surprised if your extroverted wife or husband acts in ways that are unusual for you during difficult times. For example, Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD, a licensed psychologist, says that when a loved one dies, an extrovert does not stay alone to grieve, but stays busy and around people.

This may be annoying for some people, but this is how the extroverted mind reacts to pain and stress.

Communication and compromise

In terms of communication, time spent together, and decision-making, you will have different preferences and ways of handling certain situations.

So set guidelines for communication. If an introverted husband does not want to communicate with anyone, then his extroverted wife has the right to freely communicate with friends without accusations from the marriage partner

Don't focus on the events or disagreements themselves, but try to understand why you both want to do certain things, what needs they satisfy and how important they are. Understanding the root of the problem will help you find a compromise.

If you're an introvert, check yourself for passive aggression.

Because introverts tend to keep their thoughts to themselves, sometimes their true feelings come out in passive-aggressive forms: rolling their eyes, heavy sighs, and snarky, unnecessary comments.

Remember , the passion of aggression is poison for relationships.

If you approve of your marriage partner meeting his friends at a party, then make sure you do so without making sarcastic remarks.

This means that after the party, your partner will not face punishment, there will be no control on your part in the form of constant SMS or calls with demands to report, and there will be no suspicion of infidelity.

Introverts and extroverts divide responsibilities based on personality type

Divide family and household responsibilities based on your personal differences. Here are just a few examples of how introverted and extroverted couples share responsibilities:

Responsibilities of an extrovert:

Buying groceries.
Execution of orders.
Answering phone calls, correspondence, etc.
Visiting clubs, birthdays and various events with children.

Responsibilities of an introvert:

Financial management.
Planning.
Cooking and cleaning.

Combine and use your strengths

When a guy and a girl meet, they are often attracted to each other precisely because they are different, unlike each other. It was this difference between an introvert and an extrovert that led you to choose each other.

So if one of you is better at handling certain social situations and the other is more thoughtful and takes longer to make decisions, then recognize and use those strengths in your marriage.

Set a goal for yourself to develop and grow individually. Couples of introverts and extroverts can learn a lot from each other. Introverts may seek to expand their social world and gain new experiences from the outside world. And extroverts can enrich their inner world.

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Human Character Traits

An extrovert is a person who cannot imagine existing outside of society. His self-expression is achieved exclusively in society and in conditions in which he will receive approval.

This implies not only the advantages and disadvantages of an extrovert, but also various traits of his character:

Emotional freedom
. Even strangers are often no barrier to an extrovert expressing his emotions. He can easily get emotional or laugh in public;
Ambition . The desire for championship in any team, victories and awards with praise is the passion of a true extrovert. It is important for him to be the best, since this is an essential part of his self-expression;
Talkativeness . According to common practice, extroverts talk more than they listen. As a rule, they often have something to answer in any conversation;
Sincerity . In most cases, everything that is done by a person of an extroverted character is done from the heart. He is capable of crying both from grief and from happiness;
Sympathy . It is difficult for this type of personality to stand aside and keep a cool head. At a difficult moment, he can share useful advice, opinion, words of encouragement or money;
Spending . Typical extroverts like to spend money tastefully and regularly. Inability to save is one of their frequent faults;
Good taste . Often extroverts know how to dress and combine colors wisely in tune with fashion and current trends. This is not always expressed in a sense of personal style, since it is important for extroverts to organically integrate into the team and environment.

From all these qualities it follows that people of this type are significantly dependent on others, since it is difficult for them to live fully without constant communication. This is the price of their self-expression, which is focused on the outside world, and the source of their energy is society and approval from it.

Oddly enough, but with a large number of acquaintances, an extrovert often remains lonely. He easily makes more and more new acquaintances, but he rarely makes true friends. Finding truly close people is a rare success for him. Therefore, no matter how attractive the characteristics of an extrovert may seem to many, it is he who often becomes a lonely person, in the deep sense of the word.

How to live with an introverted man

The way to the heart of an introverted man lies through understanding the characteristics of his behavior. Therefore, to win an introverted man, you need to follow several rules.

What does an introverted man value in a woman?

Introverts appreciate when:

Their need for privacy is respected.
They are given time to observe before they begin to act in new conditions.
They are warned in advance about planned changes (lifestyle, marriage).
Give them 15 minutes to finish their chores or work.
They never embarrass them in public with a contemptuous look or a sarcastic remark.
Disagreements, difficulties and problems are resolved with them alone.
Give them time to spend with a friend who has similar interests.
They are not forced to have (make) many friends.
Do not share information about them with others without their permission.
Respect their introversion without trying to make them extroverts.

Following these rules will make life together with an introvert much better.

How to communicate with an introverted man

Pause the conversation to give the introverted man time to participate. An introvert needs time to think and process what you just said.
Give him time to think without demanding immediate answers or decisions. Sometimes an introvert just needs a short break, but sometimes he doesn't have an answer for several hours to several days.
Don't finish your introvert's sentences or interrupt them.
Show interest. Ask your introverted husband about his feelings and opinions.
Stay on one topic until the introvert has fully discussed it with you, rather than jumping from one topic to another.

What does an extrovert value in an introvert?

Extroverts appreciate it when:

Introverted husbands participate in as many social activities as possible without compromising their need for solitude.
When extroverts are not prevented from going to visit or other events without the introvert’s husband, if he is not able to go.
Don't make an extrovert's wife feel guilty for doing something without her husband.

How to communicate with an extrovert

Show interest in what extroverts have to say so they feel heard.
Extroverts think out loud. Allow your wife to jump from topic to topic and do not always require her to draw any conclusions or finish her thought.
If you need time to think, let your extroverted wife know and promise to get back to her instead of forgetting her.
Thank your extroverted woman often, letting her know why you appreciate her.
Learn to share your feelings and thoughts with an extrovert, even if you find it difficult to do so.

Differences between the two personality types

It is better to understand the essence of what an extrovert means against the background of its opposite - an introvert. The definition of these two types was given by Carl Gustav Jung back in the 20th century, and it remains relevant to this day. In the contrasts of these two types, the characteristics of each of them are clearly revealed. Among their main differences are the following:

An extrovert tries to find himself in the team and society as a whole. He is the first to know and spread all the news. An introvert, on the contrary, concentrates attention on the inner world, loves peace and quiet;
The people an introvert surrounds himself with are his few time-tested friends. He does not feel the need to make as many acquaintances as possible, giving preference not to quantity but to quality. For an extrovert, it is important to continuously expand the circle of acquaintances;
An extrovert loves everything varied and bright. He gets tired of monotonous things and the same thoughts, so he gladly takes on unexpected and new things. Sometimes, having taken on too heavy a load of work and responsibilities, he subsequently fails to cope with it. Introverts prefer predictable things, valuing what they can figure out in advance;
An introvert is first and foremost a thinker. His life mainly takes place inside him, and he sees nothing valuable in additional stimulating emotions. In this sense, he is more self-sufficient, independent of external factors. An extrovert tends to express himself brightly around other people, not finding meaning in interacting with his “I”;
Extroverts show interesting aspects of their personality from the first minutes of acquaintance, while typical introverts reveal them only to a select few, which is why the first impression they make is usually deceptive.

And although life in modern society is easier for extroverts, it is impossible to say unequivocally which of these two types is better. Many introverts, although they try to have less contact with people, actively find and express themselves in other, unusual for many, aspects - they are not alien to creativity, working with equipment or documents. Extroverts do better in jobs that involve interacting with people, such as a receptionist, police officer, or consultant.

Types of extroverts

There are several classifications. Firstly, there are different types of temperament.

Extrovert-choleric:

jealous;
stubborn, self-willed;
proud;
responsible for everyone, including himself;
dominant, does not tolerate competitors, always leading in everything;
ready to help and protect “our own” at any time of the day.

Extroverted Sanguine:

optimistic;
curious;
always passionate about something;
naive and gullible;
able to forgive and sacrifice;
capable of compromise.

From a psychological point of view, types such as extrovert-melancholic or phlegmatic cannot exist, since these temperaments belong to introverts.

The second classification is socionic personality types:

Logical-intuitive extrovert:

most often a man;
loves business trips and moving;
efficient;
is not afraid to take risks;
adventurer;
optimist;
doesn't like doctors;
open, does not tolerate intrigue, lies and falsehood in relationships;
experimenter;
discoverer.

Logical-sensory extrovert:

good organizer;
performs any work efficiently and demands the same from others;
loves comfort, creates it for others;
knows how to handle things;
does not like scandals;
keep their distance from everyone;
does not understand people;
loves praise, susceptible to flattery;
confidently defends his principles and interests.

Ethical-sensory extrovert:

most often joyful, happy and positive;
overly emotional;
cannot stand the company of introverts, hermits, skeptics;
has a huge circle of acquaintances;
caring in terms of everyday life: he will feed you, provide you with money, provide comfort and coziness;
too fussy, takes on several things at once;
does not know how to manage time;
trusts people, openly condemns hypocrisy and lies;
never misses its benefits.

Ethical-intuitive:

most often a woman;
the most emotional of all extroverts;
has a high level of empathy;
does not know how to control his own emotions;
has acting talent;
brings joy to delight, and sadness to tragedy;
loves mysticism, psychological dramas, everything otherworldly;
cannot stand monotonous work;
does not tolerate physical suffering;
jealous, touchy and vindictive.

Intuitive-logical:

an observer who lives in the world of ideas and loves everything unusual;
good speaker;
intellectual, achieves success in science;
builds harmonious and logical systems, finds cause-and-effect relationships in everything;
does not tolerate restrictions, defends his right to freedom to the last;
often familiar and rude in relationships, does not respect subordination, since he does not feel all the subtleties of communication;
experimenter in food and healing methods;
does not like scandals;
knows how to efficiently perform several tasks at the same time.

Sensory-logical:

life is a battlefield; everyone around is either opponents or comrades; the goal is to win at any cost;
an excellent leader who distributes responsibilities in the group;
works for the future;
cannot tolerate betrayal and doubt;
does not accept generally accepted norms, as he adheres to his own principles;
starts with half a turn;
mood depends on others;
strives for comfort and financial independence;
He is an excellent owner of a large house, but he does not like to do routine small things.

Intuitive-ethical:

loves to study people - an excellent psychologist who captures the subtleties of everyone’s mental organization;
sometimes uses this for his own purposes: a skilled manipulator and intriguer;
knows how to smooth out conflicts;
it seems to others that he communicates equally openly with everyone, so they often have the erroneous opinion of him as a flighty and frivolous person;
in fact, he doesn’t really get close to everyone;
goes into open confrontation if someone encroaches on what belongs only to him: territory, freedom, personal relationships;
loves comfort, but does not know how to organize it, so gratefully accept self-care from others;
cannot stand routine work;
impatient;
knows how to hide a bad mood and hostility towards someone.

Sensory-ethical:

feels responsible for a certain world (family, territory) and defends its interests;
knows how to withstand forceful pressure;
excellent manipulator;
easily gets along with new people;
will not communicate with a person if he is unpleasant to him and even useless;
interesting, original, attracting attention;
polymath;
does not like to sit idle, is always on the move, active;
suffers from sudden mood swings.

These are personality types according to Jung's classification. They are the basis of socionics.

Introverts – “calm, just calm”

Introverts are thinkers. They prefer loneliness, they are comfortable alone with themselves: they can reflect on the past, plan things, and determine priorities. Such people are not afraid of difficulties, but if they have to do several things at the same time, this literally leads to panic, the introvert begins to get irritated and angry.

Introverts, by the way, also communicate with people; they cannot be called hermits. But the described type of people tries to reduce communication to a minimum, even with close friends and relatives they have short-term meetings - introverts experience a burning desire to be alone literally after half an hour of intense communication.

Unlike extroverts, introverts study any subject deeply. They are not interested in the breadth of knowledge - even if they master knowledge in only one area, but this knowledge will be as complete as possible. The mind of introverts constantly “processes” the impressions received and analyzes the experience gained. Moreover, such people have a limited number of impressions; they prefer to “savor” each of them, while an extrovert will quickly get bored with it, and he will literally rush off to get new ones.

Frequently asked questions about extroverts

Is it possible to become an extrovert?

People are often interested in the question of whether it is possible to become an extrovert or whether this is given to a person from birth.
Previously it was believed that no, today there is a different opinion on this matter. An extrovert can become an introvert if he begins to behave like the opposite personality type. Over time, this behavior will become a habit, and we will have a happy new extrovert. Some say that there are extrovert pills that make a person talkative, but this is a myth. So how to become an extrovert? Yes, only independent daily work and purposefulness will help an introvert transform into a completely opposite personality.

What is a polygamous extrovert?

A polygamous extrovert is a person who does not become attached to one member of the opposite sex; multiple connections and frequent hobbies are much more important to him.
In the modern world, this can be polygamy or polyandry (official) or frequent short-term relationships and quick separations. Also, a polygamous extrovert can have an affair or several affairs on the side while being married.

Extroverts are often hated for this reason, lumping them with the same brush. And they also often speak in their direction with ridicule, you are a polygamous extrovert with an air of assimilation, etc.

Helping an extroverted child with school homework

Remember that an extrovert is a person who spreads his attention if it concerns him personally.
This behavior also transfers to studies, if you don’t engage with the baby, don’t explain to him and don’t let him think about the situation, you won’t see any success in successfully completing the school curriculum. These children themselves are very smart, but their lack of perseverance and reluctance to show interest in learning prevents them from independently acquiring knowledge.

Homework Tips

Before doing homework, you need to get your extroverted child ready for work. A simple 15-minute conversation, discussion of a movie or some situation will help with this;
Before letting your child complete a task on his own, review it verbally and make sure your child knows how to do it. Successful completion of the work independently will encourage him to further successful work;
Written essays will be better presented if your child first records them on a voice recorder, and then from it he will formulate the correct sentences and enter them into a notebook.

Mixed personality types

An extrovert and an introvert are two extremes that are quite rare in their pure form . As a rule, there are not so many such people in any team. More often there is a mixed psychotype, which has some characteristic features of each polar type. This mixture is due to the need for a person to constantly adapt to the world around him.

Throughout life, a person has to put on different masks, depending on what the situation requires. This is necessary in conditions of full existence in society. And yet, there is a certain point of comfort that a person subconsciously strives for, usually in the environment that is the least aggressive. You can be considered an activist and a driver of production at work, but at home you cannot separate your body from the sofa.