Greetings, dear ladies! We will discuss with you today whether all men cheat and why they do it. How pressing is this topic for you, has it really affected you in life, or are you winding your head with your new husband, remembering with a shudder the actions of your former husband? Frankness in comments is welcome, as it can help our interlocutors in their situation. In the meantime, I will share my male perspective on the problem: why does a married man need another woman.
Physiology and love
Among representatives of the animal world, the need to leave behind viable offspring is genetically determined. There is an opinion that male polygamy comes from there, from antiquity.
Male love first flares up at the hormonal level and only then develops into warm affection. Sometimes she disappears without a trace after defeating the object of desire.
Women's character is different. She is the owner and does not intend to share with anyone. At the same time, a psychological connection arises much faster, so parting with a partner turns into a tragedy.
Another reason for male infidelity lies in the difference in temperament. Some live by the novelty of impressions, including sexual ones, which give them internal energy for achievements.
Genetic causes of male infidelity
According to scientists' research, the centers responsible for attraction, desire and moral attachment work autonomously. At the same time, some people tend to change partners for pleasure more often than others. From a scientific point of view, this is explained by the activation of the dopamine D4 receptor in the body.
The second is the work of instincts. They require variety to increase the likelihood of conceiving an heir. The most interesting thing is that in the process of evolution, men and women have developed different requirements for procreation. If “more” dominates in the stronger sex, then “better” is more important for the fair sex.
Violation of personal space
Almost every man has a hobby. Some play hockey, some play billiards on Fridays, some have the largest collection of photographs of Maya Plisetskaya, some cannot imagine their life without World of Tanks, and some go to the bathhouse on Saturdays. And while women are willing to sacrifice their hobbies, most men are not. Therefore, if you forbid your husband to do what he loves, it will ruin your relationship and alienate him from you. Your husband will have the feeling that you are strangling him and limiting his freedom.
Of course, if you need his help, just ask your spouse to postpone his favorite activity this time, but do not set ultimatums, do not demand or put pressure on him. Respect his hobbies, or even better, share them, it will benefit your relationship.
The main reasons for husband's cheating: psychology
The standards of the family institution presuppose monogamy and elevate fidelity to the rank of virtue. The upbringing of boys is carried out in the same direction, with the exception of the initially free morals in the parental union. With such attitudes, a reason is not even required; a person follows his desires without recognizing prohibitions. In other cases, there are prerequisites.
- Differences in temperaments. It is often detected during long-term cohabitation.
- Stability and monotony pushes you to search for adventure. Most often, a man returns to the family nest, having received his portion of the happiness hormone.
- Self-affirmation through new intimate contacts is required to increase self-esteem and gain confidence. Alternatively, the reason lies in following stereotypes.
- Falling in love provokes biochemical reactions in the body that are difficult to resist. Usually it rarely develops into a serious feeling, especially if mutual understanding and harmony reign in the family.
Long business trips stand out separately, when a partner is replaced due to physiological necessity and there is resentment towards the spouse, who pushes into the arms of another.
Love, family, betrayal
Creating a family requires joint efforts, and this is not a one-time event. The secret of many happy married couples lies in constant care, the search for compromise and the ability to hear the partner. If such a balance is not found in the first years of life, then you should not be surprised that in the 4th-5th year, affairs will begin. We will have to look for the origins of when and why husbands begin to cheat on their wives in family relationships.
Another enemy of fidelity is banal boredom. After several years of a quiet life, sexual games do not differ in variety, the partner’s reactions have long been familiar, there is no novelty or drive. Some couples will go the long way, discussing the problem and starting experiments on the personal front. Others dive into the whirlpool of new acquaintances and sensations, not caring about the feelings of their spouse.
An interesting phenomenon is the midlife crisis. It more often overtakes those who follow the beaten path with blinkered eyes. Suddenly a man discovers that almost half of his life is behind him, and he has not seen, known, or tried. In their love affairs, they try to find lost youth, forgetting about a reliable shoulder nearby.
Lover in times of crisis
Another common reason for men to cheat is the crisis that occurs in middle age. This is the most dangerous time, when the spouses are a little tired of each other, and there are more family problems.
It turns out to be an interesting situation when a man cheats on the woman he loves, thus trying to get away from solving accumulated problems. In an amicable way, problems need to be solved together with your spouse, or seek help from a psychologist. But many men prefer to have a mistress.
How do men explain their infidelity?
Speculations of the fair half of humanity about why men cheat on women most often do not coincide with the opinion of the stronger sex. To understand the situation, you need to listen to both sides. From a male point of view:
- a little romance with an ex-girlfriend will not harm family life;
- light flirting has not been canceled;
- 1-2 meetings on neutral territory cannot be considered a full-fledged betrayal;
- a condom guarantees fidelity to the spouse, the rest does not count;
- necessary for health on frequent business trips;
- the position of a leader obliges.
In addition to the most common ones, there are many other reasons. It is interesting that men are often perplexed in response to a woman’s insult; they sincerely do not understand what happened and what they did wrong.
Misunderstanding
Cheating occurs due to the fact that a man does not find understanding in the family. At least he thinks so. But to be understood, you need to trust your soulmate.
Some husbands mistakenly believe that a stranger, a mistress, can give good advice or help in a difficult situation.
Is every man capable of change?
Theoretically, yes. Why do husbands cheat on their wives? In practice, not everyone needs dubious adventures; many value the stability and feelings of their spouse.
It is useless to re-educate the so-called “womanizers”. They consider it their duty to mark any territory and are promiscuous in their relationships, since for them the main thing is quantity, not quality. At the same time, they love comfort and return to the familiar atmosphere of the family with enviable consistency.
Why do husbands cheat on their wives? The other category includes weak-willed people who are accustomed to being led. They quickly submit to a woman with a strong character, and things can come to the destruction of the official marriage.
Dual Role
Men cheat on their wives for different reasons, but there is always an explanation for them. Almost all unfaithful husbands clearly separate their relationships with their beloved wife and with their mistress:
- for the home, he is a wonderful family man who helps with housework and loves children;
- for a mistress, the same man can be a real boy, capable of unexpected adventures.
In almost all cases, when a wife finds out about her husband’s affair, it becomes unexpected and shocking news for her. And the man is sincerely surprised by this reaction, because he had no intention of leaving his family.
Advice for loving wives
Most women are endowed with worldly wisdom, regardless of age. They intuitively feel who will be comfortable with and who will bring a huge load of problems. They will not wonder whether a husband can cheat if he loves his wife, but will try to reduce the risk of third-party affairs to a minimum.
Following a few rules will help preserve the family unit.
- Unconditional love that does not require response or reward is held in high esteem.
- Do not make categorical claims, but try to establish a dialogue and come to a compromise.
- In addition to common interests, you need to have your own, do interesting things and constantly maintain a slight intrigue in communication.
Instead of dull everyday life, you will get a constant desire to understand the inner world and interests of your partner, and this is much more exciting than the usual course of events.
Why men cheat but prefer to stay in the family
There is no clear answer why all men cheat on their wives, even if they love them. Sometimes a combination of circumstances and loss of self-control are to blame; in other cases, it is not even possible to get a clear explanation.
A radical break in an established relationship is not beneficial for a man. He does not know what awaits him in an alliance with another woman; the familiar way of life is much nicer than unknown distances.
Passivity and laziness act as a kind of anchors that hold you back from taking decisive steps. The famous “maybe” often works; suddenly everything will work out, and no one will know about the little affair.
Love for children also becomes an important reason to preserve family relationships, as does confidence in the exclusivity of the spouse.
Working on relationships
When a wife finds out about her husband’s affair, the first thing to do is to calm down and calmly think about what happened. No matter how the situation develops, both spouses are still to blame. Therefore, you should not blame your husband for everything that happened.
A wise wife will always find a way out, be able to improve relationships, and return her lost husband to the family. You need to work on relationships, develop them. Life is only in motion. Therefore, a woman should look at herself to understand why her husband began to walk. Most likely, part of the blame lies with her.
To maintain a relationship for a long time, you need to work hard. Home is a place where smile, peace and understanding should reign. Prevent betrayal - arrange romantic evenings more often, take care of your appearance, and do not forget about your sexual fantasy. Leave bad moods and problems that do not concern family relationships outside the door.
Why does my husband constantly cheat, but says he loves me?
Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Paradoxical combinations occur when a husband loves his wife as a person and tells her about this with pure thoughts, but she is not suitable as a sexual partner and he has to create a kind of triangle. It’s a very sad option if intimacy with a man is impossible for a woman due to health reasons. Then, indeed, third-party communication will not be a destruction, but a strengthening of the spiritual union.
Influence of friends
Friends play an important role in a man's life. He listens to their opinion; in their eyes he wants to look more successful.
It's bad when family problems are discussed with friends. It's even worse when friends start giving advice, and the man follows them. And if friends constantly change girlfriends and boast about this behavior, then the married man will catch up with them. But this behavior rather characterizes a weak-willed, soft-bodied guy.
A man must understand that it is not his friends, but his family that is his support. Only his family will support him in difficult times.
Tendency to cheat by zodiac sign
Looking for why guys cheat based only on their date of birth is, at the very least, unreasonable. It happens that two people born on the same day, but with a difference of several hours, will be diametrically opposed in character and habits. But there is a benefit from a personal horoscope; it warns about typical characteristics:
- Aries is harsh in judgment and quick-tempered, but prefers an interesting, strong permanent partner;
- Taurus seeks adventure in his youth, gradually learning the values of a strong family and becoming a faithful husband;
- Geminis are flighty and temperamental, but they will commit infidelity only out of resentment or revenge;
- Leos are regal, courageous and generous, inclined to create a harem, where everyone will feel like a queen, but when they meet the only one, they are ready to be with her all their lives;
- Virgo is restrained and pedantic, which she also demands from her partner; she leaves for another only after systematic disappointment in the object of her adoration;
- Libras are romantics and dreamers, it is important to be on the same wavelength with them and then the storms of life will bypass the family;
- Sagittarius is an extreme person and a connoisseur of freedom, he will be there as long as his wife is able to surprise him, without trying to put him on a short leash;
- Capricorn is practical and unhurried, values material wealth, strives for it and demands the same from his wife; a common goal is necessary;
- Aquarians honestly try to improve their lives and relationships, but if they fail, they abruptly change their partner;
- Pisces are completely given over to love, spiritual unity is more important to them than bodily pleasures, they rarely cheat, being in the grip of their fantasies, they value care.
Fallback option
Men cheat, and nothing worse is when they consider their regular girlfriend as a backup option. Such a guy can go to the left for years, experimenting and choosing the right woman for himself. But, his wife or girlfriend will be a place for him where he can return in case of unsuccessful adventures.
After another intrigue, a man comes to a girl who loves him, who probably guesses about the true state of affairs. And the unfaithful guy is comfortable. He has a place where he will always be welcomed, warmed and fed. Why then leave?
Signs of male infidelity
In family relationships, trust and respect for personal space and desires are important. But there is no need to turn a blind eye to the obvious if frequent delays at work, incomprehensible disappearances of large sums, or long business trips begin. Signs of accomplished marital betrayal include increased attention to one's appearance, new habits or expressions, and fear of leaving the phone unattended. Why husbands cheat on their wives reason
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