How to make a man or husband work and earn money: advice from a psychologist
How to make your husband earn more?
Many women, tired of bearing the burden of being a breadwinner alone, suddenly wonder how to get a man to work? Of course, the task is not an easy one, especially if he is already used to sitting at home and doing nothing, or earning his pennies and enjoying life.
On this occasion, psychologists give some interesting tips that help make a man work:
- Have an open conversation about the budget . Just start with dialogue. Try to find out the reasons why your spouse does not want to move higher in his career. Be careful and don't push him. Explain that everyone has difficulties and sometimes you need to learn to “step over” yourself. At the end of the conversation, directly say that the family does not have enough money. Every adequate man will put his family above his own insecurities and become more decisive.
- Don't be his mommy . Constantly show and tell your man that he is an adult and independent, and that you can rely on him. This kind of support is important, but be careful not to over-praise him. If you are like a mother to him, you will quickly lose respect and the man will get used to being served. Assign financial powers to him, for example, that his task is to earn money to pay for utilities.
- Don't accept help from your parents . Yes, it may be hard for you, but you have to do it. Tell your spouse honestly why you don't want to accept help. Prohibit his relatives from giving money too. If they do this constantly, the financial problems will never end.
- Delegate household chores . Here it is worth using cunning. Ask him to pay for utilities, go to the store. The husband will feel that there is not enough money and will think about how to earn more. It’s also worth starting to save on his entertainment.
- Review your budget. Calculate what and how much money is spent. If most of the funds come from a man, then simply exclude such an article. Often, men like “narcissists” and “mama’s boys” do not think about personal spending and consider it obligatory.
Budget revision
- Control your finances and save wisely . If you earn the bulk of the money, then calmly refuse your partner’s request for “pocket expenses”. This will force a man to change his priorities. Although, this option will not work with every man, because he may be happy on the couch at home.
- Don't saw . There is no need to constantly scold and reproach a man if he cannot find a place. He may close himself off from you and it will be impossible to influence him. If the salary is small, don’t even think about reproaching him, especially if he has to work a lot. Praise him if he works hard. If a man has no motivation, then be more cunning.
- Don't tell anyone about your problems . He might find out about this and things will get even worse. The wife’s task is to support, so exclude criticism. Try to inspire your partner.
- Praise in moderation . When your spouse works, praise him for everything so that he feels supported. When a woman believes in her lover, he is capable of anything. Even a lazy person finds praise pleasant and makes him do things that are unusual for him, for example, find a more profitable job. A narcissistic man, such tactics will make him convinced that there is no decent job for him.
- Don't take on too much . If a man does not want to be the breadwinner, and you decide to take on this role, then you should not expect quick changes. The spouse will already have time to become a housewife and get used to this state of affairs. It’s good when everything is good at home and someone is making money.
- Don't prove that you can do more . Don't take on a side hustle and let go of the reins. Give your spouse the opportunity to express themselves.
- Change your social circle . Be more often in the company of successful men who have realized themselves. Under no circumstances compare your spouse with them, so as not to underestimate his self-esteem. Just communicate. Looking at such people, a man will want to become more successful. This is inherent in him at the level of instincts. He will internally compare himself.
Change your social circle
Be prepared for any outcome. All these tips can help if there is love in the relationship and the spouses respect each other. But it happens that it is simply difficult for a woman to admit the obvious. Some people think that everything will work out, but the man will not leave. This is a fundamentally wrong approach - trying to please a parasite. This only fuels narcissism.
It is possible that you are being used. This is not difficult to understand. Usually a man begins to whine, look for excuses, press for pity and sit further. Do you need such a man? Maybe you should think about looking for another partner?
How to make a man, husband work and earn money: conspiracy
Women often wonder how to make a man work using conspiracies? This usually happens when no methods help and the man sits further, although there are no problems with work.
And that’s the question: has he just fallen out of love or is he lazy? It’s hard to get used to work, but resting is easier than ever. If a person does not work for a long time, it is difficult for him to join the team.
Conspiracy from laziness
In such a situation, one very good conspiracy against laziness can help. It is carried out on the waxing moon in the first three days of the cycle:
- Place a pot of water on the stove and wait until it boils
- Next, say the plot three times:
Conspiracy words
- When you say the words, remove the pan from the stove and place your husband’s photo in the water
- When the water begins to cool, take out the photograph and bury it under a tree.
- Pour the water at the intersection with the words:
Conspiracy against laziness
There is another version of the conspiracy to find a job. It is important to pronounce it on a thing. Take it and embroider a cross in an inconspicuous place. While you are embroidering, read the plot:
Conspiracy to find a job
My husband will find a job soon.
How to get your husband to work more?
Some women don’t even think about how to get their husband to work, but how to get him to work more. If you also have such thoughts, then learn some tricks.
The main rule for achieving a goal is motivation. Under no circumstances put pressure on your spouse and then you will be able to direct him in the right direction. Keep in mind that not nagging your lover and motivating him is a very difficult task. You will have to walk a fine line between coercion and motivation. Men always resist pressure, so it’s worth trying.
How to get your husband to work more?
There are several tips that will allow you to gently guide your man to big earnings:
- You must have a common goal . Learn to set goals together and look for ways to achieve them. If you have the same goal, you can always support each other in a difficult situation. This allows you to get closer and build trust. A man must see what the result will be and begin to choose the path of development himself. Do not forget that the man should be in charge in this matter.
- Give up the pressure . Learn to thank a man for his efforts and desire to please you. You shouldn’t overestimate your demands so that he doesn’t rebel, otherwise you won’t succeed. Let him understand that he is the breadwinner, and not the person to fulfill your desires. Always show that you are weak and you also need his help.
- Create the right environment . Give your man the right environment that will inspire him. Meet him in a comfortable environment and if he is tired, do not burden him with questions. A life filled with love is an excellent motivation and a man himself will support common goals in order to increase financial wealth.
- Don't forget about family traditions . All families live by their own rules, so take them into account. It will be easier for you to achieve results if the man manages to find his life’s work. He will be proud of his successes and his work will be a joy to him. Show by example that development brings moral satisfaction and good money. It is important to remind you that with more opportunities you can afford more.
A woman's main weapon is motivation. The right words and actions always work flawlessly and allow you to achieve what you want.
How to support your husband.
2. Gratitude.
People in general have very big problems thanking others. Your gratitude to your man should be expressed even in the most insignificant details. In fact, don’t be afraid to even exaggerate this gratitude. And in this way you will give him the opportunity to feel like a hero next to you.
By the way, girls, the need to feel like a hero in men is higher than the need for sex. Therefore, draw your own conclusions. Women have succeeded in the art of brain removal and any man can envy them for this. But sometimes saying a simple thank you can be really difficult. It’s like stepping over yourself. Well, some people think that there is nothing to say thank you for, because they should anyway. And if you start praising him, won’t he eventually become insolent? Strange logic of course. How are you going to motivate a man then? A stick along the ridge?
But sometimes we ourselves turn to them for help, they somehow agree, I agree, especially if it concerns some everyday issues. How crooked and askew they do it, but they do it. When we see this, we are horrified: “I’d rather do it myself, just move away, don’t, don’t touch.” What are we doing with this? We once and for all discourage him from any desire and desire to help us in the future.
Of course, you need to thank and praise your husband. Even when he does something completely ordinary, insignificant, small for you. Still, be able to be surprised and admire it like a child. After all, he did something good for you. Even if it’s a little bit and not exactly what you wanted, he puffed and tried. But in this way, from time to time, you create positive reinforcement for his good actions towards you.
And receiving feedback in the form of such super positive energy, he will want it. That's exactly what you want. Not because you asked him, or because he has to, but he himself will want to do more and more for you. This is the second way to motivate a man.
How to make a lazy guy, a parasite husband, work, so that he goes to work?
How to make a lazy person work?
It also happens that a man not only earns little, but does not work at all and does not even plan to do so. He is completely satisfied with the state of affairs and is not going to change anything. Gradually, this becomes the norm and the woman eventually gets tired of carrying everything on herself and does not know how to influence her man so that he still “gets off his neck.” How to get a parasitic husband to work? Are there any ways to solve this issue?
Indeed, there are ways. Here are a few of them:
- Deprive the man of financial support . For most people, money is a good motivation for looking for a job. Leave the lazy man without money and see how he lives. In tough situations, when money is urgently needed, the brains of every person begin to work. It is finance that makes you forget about laziness, which a man uses to hide behind. Ultimately, he will want to eat. And anyone can complain about low wages, talent and difficulties.
- "Carrot and stick method" . Perhaps the husband is not lazy, but there are some other reasons why he does not go to work? Maybe he lacks confidence, because only confidence can help a person get results and moral pleasure. Don't be sorry. It’s better to start a tough conversation first and then ask in a friendly way what’s what. A psychologically driven person will be happy with this outcome and will open up. It's tough manipulation, but it's worth it.
- Motivation . A simple, but at the same time complex method to make a person work. It’s good, of course, if he finds the motivation within himself. Often lazy people suffer from a lack of motivation. If you yourself want to help, then start looking for meaning in work together with your husband and overcome difficulties. Show him that you can't just go with the flow.
- Be an example . Usually adults set an example for children, but this can happen with adults too. If you have been working for a long time and have achieved certain successes in your career, then a man may be jealous and therefore not go to work. Just out of spite. You will be surprised, but this really happens. To get your husband to go to work, show all the pros and cons. Envy should turn into a desire to imitate you and conform.
#2 SCREAM
The second mistake that many women make is that they think that by shouting they can somehow convey to a man the conscious thought that somehow they must be a man.
When you scream, you make a huge number of mistakes, which I have already talked about in one of my articles and videos before this, please watch.
But most importantly, when you yell at a man, you provoke him. Shouting is an aggressive form, either to intimidate or to start a war.
Remember how animals stand for a long time before a fight, bully, growl at each other?
For many men, your cry causes a similar response. That is, a man wants to fight back at you, or at least snap at you. And he starts arguing with you, even if in this situation you say completely reasonable thoughts.
Moreover, if you are trying to convey completely reasonable thoughts to him by shouting, you are not giving the man a chance to agree with you. Because for him it will mean that the woman showed him the place. And admitting your victory in this war means admitting his defeat.
Therefore, when you want to convey something important to a man’s consciousness, do not yell. Below I will tell you what you actually need to do.
How to get your husband to do men's housework and ordinary household chores?
Husband doing household chores
When the entire household is on the shoulders of a woman, and the man avoids doing it in every possible way, then one can only feel sorry for her. Of course, everyone has questions about how to get her husband to work, to do a man’s housework?
Psychologists give some advice on how to do this:
- Be weak
Often wives begin to nag the children and demand that they do something. This is a common mistake. You can't achieve anything this way. First of all, don't forget that you are a weak woman who needs help. Show this to your husband. Only you yourself can inspire your husband to do great things.
- Tricky requests
To make your spouse want to do work at home, give him a sense of importance and show weakness with cunning. For example, your light bulb has burned out, but your husband is in no hurry to screw it in. Only a trick will help here, for example, say that you are afraid of heights. When the job is done, praise and thank your husband.
- Praise, but don't flatter
Be sure to praise, even if the work is not perfect. For example, he cut the potatoes incorrectly. Don't swear, just say thank you. He will be pleased that you are paying attention. But don’t go too far into flattery; men feel it and relax.
- Give him the equipment
Everyone has technology at home today. Give it to the man. Invite him to make bread in the oven or cook stew in a slow cooker, and at this time you will do some other things. He will take it as a game and help you.
- Avoid blackmail
Remember that blackmail is useless. This will only make things worse. When a man feels manipulated, he tries to escape it by any means necessary. It’s better to say that tomorrow you have a lot to do and you don’t have time to do anything, and therefore you need his help. In other words, come up with a reason why he should help you.
- Don't complain or shout
Usually women complain that they are tired, and the man is so bad, he sits and does nothing, they begin to set conditions, and so on. There is no point in forcing in this matter; a man must help voluntarily.
Women also often scream. And this only breaks the marriage. If you are really tired, then lie down on the sofa and lie down. The husband will definitely notice that the dust has not been wiped off, the vacuum cleaner is standing in the middle of the room and the rag is on the bucket. Suffice it to say that you are very tired and want to get ready. In this case, the man will feel guilty and will try to correct the situation.
- For cleaning - fishing
If a man does not want to distribute responsibilities around the house, then remember your wisdom. For example, he wants to go to football with his friends. Then agree that today you want cleaning, and tomorrow he goes to rest.
If you want to wash the windows, ask someone to sit next to you and make sure you don’t fall, otherwise it’s very scary. He will be pleased and will help. Moreover, you have a contract.
If you notice that your husband does not refuse to help you, then ask little by little. You shouldn’t ask for everything at once, otherwise you’ll scare them away. Always be correct in your expressions, respect your husband’s time and stick to agreements. And most importantly, never forget to thank.
Why doesn't a man act?
There are several reasons why the man has not yet taken any action.
© Getty Images
- He's biding his time
. Some men like to wait for the right moment and do not want to rush things. Perhaps your chosen one believes that if it is something worthwhile, then it is worth the wait.
- He's afraid of rejection
. If a man isn't 100 percent sure that you will accept his proposal, he probably won't want to take the risk.
- He doesn't know how to take the first step
. Some men feel the urge, but aren't sure how best to go about it. Is it better to say, should he ask you out or take you by the hand? Your help may be needed here.
- He wants you to take the initiative
. Perhaps he likes women who know what they want and go after it, or he does not want to take risks.
- He has someone
. Perhaps he is in a relationship and you just don't know about it.
- He doesn't want to ruin the friendship
. If you are friends, colleagues, or have mutual friends, then perhaps he does not want to create problems for himself.
- He doesn't know that you like him
. Some men don't pay attention to what's going on under their noses.
So, we have looked at the main reasons why a man may not take active action, and now you can decide how to unobtrusively push a man to the desired behavior.
Some men are quick to pick up on hints and body language, while others are clueless. Try different methods to see what works for you.