I want to quit my job going nowhere, but I’m afraid and can’t decide to leave: what to do if you’re tired of your position or you can’t cope with it, what is the advice of a psychologist?

Recently, Spanish psychiatrists published the results of a study showing that people who have worked in the same job for more than 16 years are at the highest risk of mental disorder. As a rule, they suffer from deep dissatisfaction with their work and, nevertheless, are afraid to change something and therefore do not quit. At the same time, according to a Superjob survey, almost 40% (!) of Russians regret leaving their previous job and would like to return. How to find the golden mean?

Why is it difficult to quit?

Most people are unable to make a decision to quit in an instant. This is influenced by a person’s internal beliefs, which are based on emotions and mentality. There are certain categories of workers for whom it is terribly difficult to decide to change jobs:

Employees who grew up in the company. When a person comes to work immediately after an educational institution, he is accepted into an established team, trained, and after a certain time he begins to consider himself indebted to this enterprise for his professional growth. Dismissal from such a job is equivalent to leaving the family. All the most profitable offers pale in comparison with the beloved and dear team.
Successful employees. Any person who has achieved certain results has some kind of psychological connection with his workplace. Here he successfully implemented several projects, achieved an increase in sales, and expanded the retail network. In such conditions, changing jobs is based on the feeling that one’s brainchild will have to be abandoned to the mercy of fate.
Uncommunicative people. It will always be difficult for such employees to decide to change. Everything new can bring discomfort to a long-established and measured work life.

Psychologists advise making the decision to quit, despite the severity of such an event. If going to work has turned into going to hard labor, then it urgently needs to be changed. Daily torture at work will bring even more discomfort into everyday life than the employee’s emotional state from accepting a severance of emotional attachments.

Work isn't fun - it's time to quit

Where it all begins

Picking up and quitting is sometimes more difficult than accepting an offer for a new job. These are features of our inner world, when starting something new is several times easier for us than finishing something existing.

According to statistics, more than 75% of workers begin and end their day with the thought of quitting. And few people can come to their boss and announce their intention to part with the company without lengthy and thorough preparation. Behind the desire to close the doors of this company behind you forever, to escape from the hated team, bosses, a long string of thoughts immediately appears that do not allow you to take this step.

Such excuses, in our eyes, seem like reasonable arguments in favor of staying and holding out a little longer. But no one admits that this is self-deception, which covers up simple human indecision.

Some people think that you just need to wait until it gets better. Others give themselves importance, making the excuse that they cannot quit what they have started. Some are afraid that the entry in the work book about dismissal will play a bad joke on them in the future.

You can come up with an endless number of excuses. The result of this will be regret that the decision to leave the hated job was not made much earlier.

Don't wait for the right opportunity because it will never come.

Diffidence

Fear of such a dramatic change as moving to another position is based on a lack of self-confidence. A person hesitates to look for other options, partly because he has no idea what position he can handle successfully. Doubts and fear of losing what he has accumulated and gained do not allow him to move on. The employee performs any duties without the slightest protest, since he is convinced that more serious matters are beyond his strength.

Self-esteem influences many aspects of personality, and it depends on it:

ambition;
desire to gain education and experience;
desire to achieve goals;
relationships with others.

Self-doubt is a clear sign of low self-esteem. Such a person is afraid to take risks, break established boundaries and do anything alone. For him, losing his place is almost tantamount to losing the meaning of life. A person thinks about difficulties all the time. and such thoughts plunge him into panic. Low self-esteem limits the choice of specialty, since the old, familiar business is considered stable.

The team has a huge influence on a person. Having worked in one place for a long time, an employee suffering from self-doubt cannot decide to go to another organization, if only because he will be surrounded by unfamiliar people there. In addition, even if this specialist does not like the job, it is inconvenient for him to quit, since he believes that he will let his colleagues down.

Main reasons

A clearly defined list of reasons will help give you confidence in making the right decision. First, you need to write down ten reasons for dismissal on a piece of paper. This list should be re-read periodically. Arrange the reasons you have collected in descending order of importance. Among them are the following:

You started hating your job.
Sunday evening is completely ruined by the thought of the upcoming trip to work.
From the very morning you watch the minute hand on your watch, hoping to bring the end of the working day closer.
You have no desire to communicate with team members in an informal setting.
The results from doing the work do not bring satisfaction.
Often there is a desire to evade completing assignments.
You started looking at vacancies in other companies.

Determine for yourself that every week you must find two new reasons for quitting. Here the number of reasons will work to strengthen your intentions to quit.

The more reasons for dismissal, the easier it is to do so.

Why don't they quit?

Psychologists point out that there are situations when you should not quit:

If the reason for leaving is a bad manager for you. According to experts, the bosses are not happy with anyone.
If you don't like the team. Colleagues may find it even harder at their new place of work.
If you are overwhelmed by a spontaneous decision to open your own business. To do this, you first need to create capital and monitor the market to see if your initiative is in demand.
When the other half began to earn significantly more. This may not be a permanent factor and you will have to return to your old job.

Stay in the same place

It's worth writing another list. This will be a list of reasons that keep you at this job. On this piece of paper, the number of points should be reduced weekly by one or two reasons.

For each factor that prevents you from leaving your employer, come up with an alternative option. The fewer items left on this list, the easier it will be to leave the company.

Take into account even minor flaws

When compiling such lists, do not forget the slightest troubles that create uncomfortable working conditions.

Tips on how to decide to quit if everything is bad

If, summing up, you still decide that there are more advantages in your work than disadvantages, then continue to work and work on yourself. If you still firmly decide that it’s time to leave the office forever, you need to take note of the following details:

You are not obligated to give your time to your manager and colleagues if you are uncomfortable working with them.
Only you have the right to decide what work is worthy of your attention.
Don’t agree to “breakfasts” from your bosses, who once again promise to correct the situation and nothing has changed for a long time.
You do not have to risk your health to work for the benefit of a company that is unable to provide normal work conditions.

Be decisive in your actions and plans. Achieve your goal of working where you will have everything you need: conditions, decent salary, pleasant team. If this is not the case, then feel free to quit and look for a better place.

Ideas about the ideal job

Psychologists advise sitting down at the table and writing a list that should consist of one hundred items. These are the main points that characterize the vision of ideal work.

Every morning the thought of work should make you smile.

The list can be either typed in any text editor or handwritten. The second option is preferable. In this case, the creation process slows down, but becomes more conscious and balanced.

When compiling such a list, you should use some rules:

The list needs to be compiled at one time. You cannot be distracted by doing other things.
You can't check what's written.
All items must be unique.
Everything needs to be listed. The list should include both global moments and little things.

Analyzing this list, in the first 30 items you can see a reflection of daily thoughts about the need to change jobs. The next 40 issues are moments of transition from everyday life to real ideas. The last 30 theses reflect the real goals and desires of the employee.

After carefully re-reading the list, mark the items that are present at the place of work. The ratio of what is available to what is absent will help you understand that it is time to quit.

Prioritization

Another way to figure out whether you should quit is to set your own priorities. Today, work provides a stable income, sometimes even bonuses. The company is operating and has no plans to close. This is what stops most people from writing a letter of resignation.

These points can be counterbalanced by the lack of career growth and general dissatisfaction with work. Such moments minimize all attempts to live a full life.

You cannot justify yourself by waiting for the right opportunity. Such a case will never come. You need to build the chain of priorities correctly. If work has ceased to be an outlet and does not bring satisfaction, then feel free to write a letter of resignation.

When work is not at the top of your priorities, you need to leave

Overcome your fears

Despite the incredibly annoying team, the tyrant boss, the low salaries, you are still afraid of being fired. Various fears can prevent you from making a decision to change jobs:

Fear of being unemployed or finding a new job, even worse than the current one.
Fear of ceasing to be significant.
Fear of what people will say.
Possibility of receiving a lower salary.

To stop being afraid of being unemployed, you need to increase your self-esteem. Otherwise, there will be no opportunity to change jobs. She won't come on her own. To give yourself confidence, read affirmations every morning and evening:

I'm afraid of getting confused at an interview	I'm a confident person.
I'll be out of work	I will find a decent job.
I won't be able to pass the interview	I'm professional

Every employee has the right to have their merits noticed and appreciated. When starting a new job, any person needs to start anew to achieve the respect of the team and recognition of their professionalism. Do not forget that absolutely all employees employed at a particular enterprise have equal importance in the ongoing production process.

If work has ceased to be a comfort zone, then you should not feel guilty before the company for wanting to work in better conditions.

The human mentality is such that they will condemn you no matter whether you write an application for settlement or remain faithful to your enterprise.

The amount of salary is a strong argument for staying at your current job. In conditions of discomfort, it is worth reevaluating your value system. If you don’t have time to spend the money you receive, and you have to use your free time to restore mental strength, then the value of these pieces of paper drops sharply.

Before you quit your job, sort out your rhinestones. This will help free your life from unloved activities and from the heavy burden of negative emotions.

Solution path

Therefore, you should not be afraid to move from place to place until you find a job that will bring joy and not burden your life. That is, first of all, you must realize that there is nothing wrong with changing your job or profession. Do not follow the lead of those who adhere to the opinion established over the years that one must endure and work through force. Of course, it’s good if you like the job, and you will work at it for decades, conquering career heights. But if the work is not to your liking, then there is no need to waste your energy.

Of course, you shouldn’t prove to your grandparents or mom and dad that they are not modern and don’t understand anything. Understand that this is their opinion and they have the right not to deviate from it. Nevertheless, you are a person of a new generation who is more confident and knows what was inaccessible to your ancestors. So just go your own way and don’t let the decision be made for you.

Skills and abilities

When you have decided on all the reasons for leaving and dealt with your fears, you need to decide what you want to do next. Make a list of your abilities and skills that can help you realize your favorite job.

Mentally prepare yourself for the fact that your new place of work will become a comfort zone. The assignments that you will have to carry out will be interesting. You will easily join the new team. The responsibilities assigned to you will not become a burden.

With these thoughts in mind, a list of your best skills will be easy to come up with. With it will come confidence and determination.

A list of abilities or skills will give you firmness in making a decision.

You are being insulted by your manager or colleagues

Bullying is bad in any form. Perhaps you got to work when there was already a close-knit team there for a long time, and you were taken for an object to drain your soul. Or maybe the manager offends and gets personal with all his colleagues. In any case, it is unpleasant to work in such an atmosphere.

There are several ways out of this situation. The first is to explain constructively and in an accessible way to everyone that you will not allow such an attitude towards your person. The second is to start “teasing” your colleagues in the same way, so that they feel for themselves what you feel. The third is to leave the team, which employs unreasonable people with low intelligence. Of course, it's worth leaving your job when you've tried all the options to improve your relationship, but they turned out to be useless. At the same time, you can leave without a twinge of conscience and unnecessary worries.

After all, as a good specialist, you will always find something better.

Support from loved ones

It is difficult for a person to decide to make a change in his life. This applies to any event. Therefore, it is very important for relatives or friends to be in the allied camp and approve of the intentions.

Without support and under the pressure of fears, a person makes a weak decision

In order not to be left alone with possible problems from dismissal, it is advisable to enlist the support of like-minded people. To do this, you need to explain to your loved ones that the decision to quit is important to you. It is worth taking into the camp of like-minded people those people who think not in stereotypes, but based on the realities of life. When giving advice, they should be guided by the desire to help make the right decision and survive the consequences of its implementation.

This step before changing jobs is important even because people can help with advice and assess the situation from the outside. It may happen that you change your mind about quitting. But in most cases, support from relatives helps to overcome fears, making you more confident and stronger.

A change of scenery

When an employee, while at an enterprise, feels discomfort, cannot concentrate, and does not experience satisfaction from his job duties, psychologists recommend analyzing the situation in order to understand the reason for this condition. If the problem lies in the profession, then changing the type of activity is simply necessary.

If the feeling of fear before changing work responsibilities is caused by complexes or a low assessment of one’s abilities, then you can try to overcome it yourself. To do this, you need to decide to change your lifestyle.

You should gradually mentally separate work responsibilities and the people who are associated with them, because changing positions does not mean the end of friendly relationships. It’s quite possible to communicate with colleagues who have become friends outside the office, especially if you have common hobbies. In this way, a person will be able to maintain close relationships that are important to him, which will help him more easily cope with leaving his usual environment and adapting to a new workplace.

In order to decide on a new specialty, you can use career guidance tests. They provide an opportunity to understand what types of activities bring joy and inspiration to a person. Even a hobby can become your favorite profession, because with the right approach, almost any activity will bring a stable income.

Possible financial difficulties

It will be much easier for any person to quit if he is sure that he will not be constrained while looking for a new job. If you are planning to quit, you should take care of a certain reserve of funds.

In order not to feel disadvantaged, it is advisable to have the amount of funds based on a six-month budget. One of the options for accumulating the necessary funds is to defer part of your salary. It is worth considering other options for meeting your life needs. This could be a part-time job or a combination of positions.

Set aside some money from each salary into a piggy bank.

The more confident a person is in the future, the easier it will be for him to write an application for settlement.

Action plan

Before leaving your usual place of work, draw up a unique action plan for the first time after leaving. This plan should include absolutely everything you plan to do.

This even applies to periods of idleness. Your plan should reflect this: a vacation for two weeks. During this period of time, you need to put your thoughts and affairs in order.

An action plan should be drawn up for every day. It requires attention to the smallest details. This is necessary so that in the first time after dismissal the person does not lose his ability to work.

The plan must contain descriptions of the goal, the means and skills that you have to achieve it. If you decide to find a job on the Internet or become a freelancer, then your action plan may include the following points:

I want to find a job as a call center operator remotely within one month.
To do this kind of work, I have good speech and am quite sociable.
I have all the necessary technical means to perform such work.
I want to become a call center operator to realize my capabilities.

Such a plan can be an excellent incentive to quit a boring job. When drawing up a plan, it is better to play it safe and prepare three versions of such a document: the best, the worst and the realistic. Life can throw up all kinds of surprises, and the best plan will not work. And you will be ready for any development of the situation.