How to become an insensitive and cold person?

What are such people called?

In everyday life, unemotional people are called callous, indifferent, thick-skinned, dry, soulless, cold, indifferent, insensitive, cynical.

From a scientific point of view, such individuals are considered alexithymic.

Alexithymia is a disorder in which a person is unable to express his or her own emotions in words.

Alexithymics are distinguished by their conflicting nature, poor resistance to stress, and poor imagination. They often encounter somatic diseases that are formed on human emotions.

Healthy individuals experience emotions intensely , are able to recognize and understand them, and therefore eliminate and calm them.

Since the alexithymic person is not aware of his experiences, he is unable to find a competent approach to eliminating them. Such people look at the world with hostility and do not know how to react normally to stress.

They have no motivation, no moral guidelines, no goals that appear under the influence of positive emotional stimuli.

Definition of concepts

Emotional rigidity is manifested in the fact that the individual weakly, very selectively and within a narrow range shows emotional reactions to all kinds of stimuli.

Emotional dullness is a special mental state in which a person either very weakly expresses or completely loses higher emotions (sympathy, respect, tolerance, tact, modesty, honesty, conscientiousness, etc.).

Emotional coldness is a disorder in which an individual does not experience emotions at all, or their expression weakens.

With emotional stupor, under the influence of intense mental experiences (fear, horror, danger to life), a state arises in which affective activity and motor activity are blocked, and the thought process slows down.

Emotional depression is a pathological mental state, which is characterized by a drop in mood, loss of interest in everything around, and deterioration in well-being.

The meaning of psychotherapy

In people with impoverished emotions, dreams also disappear. The absence of imaginary actions in a dream leads to internal devastation. Loss of senses does not affect life expectancy in any way, but sharply reduces its quality. Experts recommend using the following techniques:

  • Gestalt therapy;
  • art therapy;
  • suggestion.

You need to be patient during the treatment process. When the patient becomes interested in creativity, we can talk about success, since it is closely related to the manifestation of emotions. It is advisable to motivate the individual to create something colorful and unusual: paintings, crafts, works on paper.

The goal of psychotherapy for the patient is to learn to express emotions. Then work is carried out with comprehension and recognition of feelings. The mentee must describe them, expand his own vocabulary and study materials, as well as monitor the reactions of other people. Additionally, the patient receives medications that suppress physiological problems.

Emotional dullness is not only a condition when the patient is afraid of change. He feels the emptiness inside himself and strives to fill it with anything. The result of treatment depends on the desire of the person himself to change his quality of life for the better.

In Gestalt therapy, a person is a holistic image, the integral parts of which are body, soul and spirit. With the help of such a technique, a person will be able to experience feelings, as well as apply them to the experience gained. As a result of the experience, the patient completes the situation in the sense that it acquires clear features.

Psychology teaches us to experience “liberated” feelings without compromising the patient’s mental health. Success can be judged when the student begins to associate events with emotions rather than with details. At the same time, the patient’s imagination develops, he describes what is happening in colors.

An emotionless person - why is he like this?

An unemotional or low-emotional person - why is he like that?

Some consider alexithymia to be a disease, others believe that it is a personality trait . Alexithymia is conventionally divided into primary and secondary.

Primary is caused by congenital defects that occur during the development of the fetus, the birth of a child, and the passage of the first childhood diseases.

Secondary is due to reasons that can manifest themselves at a more conscious age:

  • traumatic experiences;
  • stressful situations;
  • mental disorders.

Some experts see the causes of this disease in aspects related to public culture .

A person is not educated, he lacks a social culture, an elementary education in which he could study himself, his emotions and ways of expressing them.

Why is there not enough emotion in life?

According to psychoanalysts, alexithymia is considered emotional dullness , developing as a defensive reaction to a certain negative factor. Throughout life, a person constantly faces stressful situations.

If he is not able to overcome them, gradual addiction occurs. The absence of an emotional reaction to what is happening serves as a defense mechanism of the human psyche.

The reason for the appearance of alexithymia may be certain concepts of upbringing that the individual had to go through at a tender age.

Statements like “men shouldn’t cry”, “public display of emotions is the height of indecency” can lead to the development of the ability to suppress one’s own feelings.

We should not forget about those cases when people are punished or mocked .

For example, a child is scolded for crying or laughing loudly, friends mock his heartfelt feelings.

Such an experience forces one not to demonstrate one’s own feelings and even to completely ignore them in order to avoid ridicule and censure.

Symptoms

same facial expression

Signs of emotional dullness appear as the mental disorder intensifies. Reactions that imply a negative message are realized through bright outbursts of anger. Such experiences are often repressed, and after an attack the patient does not remember screaming or fighting with someone.

Positive emotions - getting what you want or pleasure - are experienced through a state of euphoria. The holistic perception of the situation is disrupted and replaced by affective euphoria. A person is unaware of the needs of those around him, he is only interested in his own benefit, as well as motives that are unusual for healthy people. In severe cases, the patient is not able to come to the aid of others, but he will easily commit a crime if there is a benefit in doing so.

In schizophrenia, emotional dullness has characteristic symptoms:

  • the same facial expression;
  • slow movements;
  • dull voice.

This condition also occurs with depression. In less severe cases, indifference disrupts the social life of an individual, since he does not comply with moral and ethical standards and acts selfishly towards relatives. Patients do not realize the error of their behavior, but if they understand the criticism, such people are able to pretend and act “correctly”. But there is still no awareness of the meaning of actions.

Symptoms of emotional dullness in children can vary. Some children try to conform to generally accepted norms without understanding their meaning. Teenagers often defend their opinions, despite criticism from others and conflicts.

Wilhelm Reich

The famous psychiatrist W. Reich believed that feeling is a direct expression of a person’s mental energy. Describing the symptoms of affective dullness, he focused on the fact that in a problematic personality the energy is inhibited in the center of the body. The theory of chronic muscle tension was supported by the authors of domestic textbooks on psychiatry.

The patient may understand the inadequacy of his actions, notice the reaction of society, but without correction tools, the painful condition will only progress. Affective flattening inevitably leads to consequences such as suicide attempts due to rejection of what is happening. The emotional background becomes poorer, questions about feelings and mood are ignored by the person.

Emotional dullness: symptoms

How to recognize emotional dullness?

  1. The individual cannot express his feelings in words. There is a mask on the face without emotions. Because of such emotional “illiteracy,” his intellect does not develop. Since a person does not understand experience, he has absolutely no inclination towards empathy.
    Sometimes he appears heartless and selfish in the eyes of others. Although in reality the individual would be happy to take part, he simply does not know how this is done.

    Because of this, in such situations, he often resolves the issue with a template phrase.

  2. of conflicts with others increases Since a person does not understand his own emotions, he does not know how to change his behavioral reactions and approach to them. The result is loneliness.
  3. One of the most striking signs is pragmatic thinking and a total lack of interest in creativity . Creative abilities develop only in those who are capable of vividly experiencing and understanding their own emotions. Alexithymic is not aware of his feelings, so he thinks based solely on logic. At the same time, sudden emotional outbursts are not uncommon, when an individual splashes out his state on other people, without realizing why this is happening.
  4. Problems arise with adequate reflection on what is happening .
    Since an individual does not recognize emotions, he is unable to respond in a timely manner to the behavior of others and adapt to it. At the same time, self-regulation does not suffer particularly. If necessary, alexithymics can quickly change both at the external and internal levels, adapting to new conditions.
  5. Alexithymics may not dream at all. If they dream of something in their night dreams, then, as a rule, it is ordinary gray everyday life.
  6. They deny that problems are caused by emotional impulses . There is no such thing as intuition for them.
  7. When talking about their own experiences, these people often use words that describe physical sensations . They are not able to distinguish between physical pain and mental anguish, joy and warmth.
  8. The existence of such individuals becomes unbearably boring and dull due to the lack of emotions; their personal and social life is not organized .
    Lacking the ability to understand the feelings of another person, an alexithymic person suspects that the partner is making up problems out of nowhere. The inability to feel guilt and remorse leads to the fact that such a person shifts responsibility onto the shoulders of others, and this, of course, does not contribute to the establishment of strong relationships.
  9. These people are afraid of change and avoid expressing their own feelings. The very idea of ​​allowing themselves to be more emotional causes strong resistance in them.
  10. Most alexithymics feel lifeless, as if something is missing inside. As a result, they strive to fill this emptiness with anything.
    For this reason, such people often fall into alcohol or drug addiction, because these substances color the world with different colors, filling it with vivid emotions and unusual sensations. As soon as the effect wears off, you want to take a new dose again and again. There are many behavioral addictions that allow you to experience a lot of feelings and experiences at once.

On the one hand, an alexithymic person attracts with a sober outlook on life. But, on the other hand, he is completely unfamiliar with the intimacy that forms between people on a sensory-emotional level.

Emotional dullness of parents - consequences:

Read about the symptoms and treatment of organic emotionally labile personality disorder here.

Causes of emotional dullness

E. Kretschmer

Emotional dullness is a consequence of organic disorders in the brain. Doctors note that anxiety symptoms accompany thought disorders, delusions and other manifestations of schizophrenia at an early stage. The German psychiatrist E. Kretschmer wrote that patients experience the phenomenon of glass and wood.

The phenomenon is an inadequate response to an external stimulus. Thus, a person becomes “wooden” in relation to important events, and unimportant ones drive him crazy. The “glass fragility” of consciousness distinguishes people with schizophrenic disorder. Affective changes have no age-related characteristics.

Psychological defense in patients with schizophrenia is poorly developed, so the deficit of emotions is compensated by inadequate vulnerability. In psychiatry, this condition is called emotional flattening, when a person’s face becomes similar to a mask, and speech becomes monotonous.

The described condition is irreversible. But affective dullness also manifests itself in other mental disorders. For example, hysterical psychopathy inevitably leads to an impoverishment of feelings. Another reason for the development of painful indifference is depression. Patients also lose the need for activities that previously brought joy.

Diagnosis

The absence of emotions in itself is not a disease, but it can often serve as a sign of certain diseases or mental disorders :

  • organic brain damage;
  • psychopathy;
  • schizophrenia;
  • depression;
  • heboid syndrome;
  • dementia.

Be that as it may, only a psychiatrist or psychotherapist .

Forecast

Lack of emotion does not affect life expectancy in any way , but it does reduce the quality of existence.

The prognosis is this: a meager life alone, devoid of bright colors and joyful moments.

First of all, it is difficult for an individual to understand himself. He seems to be experiencing feelings, but they do not fill him with the energy that normal people receive.

Positive emotions motivate, negative emotions allow you to feel threatened and learn from certain situations. A person suffering from alexithymia is deprived of this .

Communication deteriorates noticeably. A person cannot show his own emotions and give an adequate reaction to other people’s remarks. A person is incapable of compassion , as a result of which he becomes dry and soulless.

The logical approach is not always effective - the individual is considered selfish and ruthless.

People around you do not understand how to communicate with someone who does not show emotions and does not discuss them.

Social activity becomes impoverished because there are simply no people in a person’s life who are ready to accept it without emotional intimacy. The result of alexithymia is a monotonous, routine existence.

Life is so predictable that it is literally calibrated step by step, since the individual is not able to find himself in situations in which they act under the influence of emotions.

On the one hand, this, of course, frees you from unforeseen difficulties, but, on the other hand, there is no opportunity to experience unfamiliar situations.

Where did my emotionlessness come from?

People who do not show emotions or have difficulty containing them are often considered cold and unfeeling. Many relationships have ended for this reason alone.

There are those who deliberately restrain themselves so as not to allow a shadow of emotion on their face and thereby not reveal their own vulnerability.

Where did my emotionlessness come from?

Others, on the contrary, seem to allow themselves complete freedom in terms of expressing emotions, but to no avail. They desperately wonder why the hell they can't feel anything.

A possible source of unemotionality may be an attempt to constantly suppress feelings and emotions. Someone who has always tried to do this can sooner or later automatically turn off their feelings.

There are also those who do not accurately imagine their feelings. They have never learned to handle them correctly and have no knowledge of emotions - neither what they are, nor how to express them.

This process is most often determined by upbringing. If a child had a very strict parent or was always taught that he should not cry or be sensitive, otherwise he would be considered a weakling, as he grows up he will find himself unable to fully express his feelings.

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