I give her everything she wants, but I'm not sure about her feelings. Is she really using me?
What pisses off any normal guy the most? It infuriates you to be used. But she looks with such honest eyes - is this angel really capable of lying? Capable. And how.
And the main sign that you are being taken advantage of to the fullest is a feeling of inferiority. It looks like this: you give more than you get in return. She lies that she loves, takes your resources, and gives, at best, sweet promises.
Women have learned to use lies as a way to adapt and obtain benefits, benefits, finances, gifts, and courtship. How it works. She senses what you need right now and promises it. Sweetly pours, manipulates and hangs boiled noodles over your courageous ears. And you are glad to try.
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Therefore, if you admit that she is using you, just slow down for a while. Block access to your resources, don’t leak anything on her. No, you don’t need to turn on the redneck, but playing with temporary difficulties is a normal option.
You will see for yourself how her behavior will begin to change when you block access to the feeder. If she uses you, she will dump you without regret. And if not, then you are lucky, and you just imagined it.
Read also: How to make a girl happy?
Why does a girl lie, even about little things?
Girls' motivations when lying:
- protection from the use of physical violence against them;
- avoiding any punishment;
- preventing awkward (shameful) situations;
- gaining control over others through information;
- protecting your privacy;
- receiving any benefit;
- protection of loved ones;
- a way to inspire admiration from others.
If you catch your friend lying, then you should not scold her or lecture her in any way. Just try to talk calmly and find out what provoked her to do such an act? Perhaps a significant reason for this was to attract your attention, or other motives.
However, there is a category of people who are simply accustomed to exaggerating or lying about little things. According to psychologists, people with a lack of attention are prone to such actions, especially in childhood or adolescence.
Don’t forget about “white lies.” All people tend to hold back or lie about little things. And this can be considered the norm. After all, it would be difficult to get along in a world where everyone speaks exclusively the truth to each other, and is this even necessary?
Another question is why they are using you?
There are a lot of men with resources, but not all of them are used. And if you notice that a girl is constantly lying and taking advantage of you, think: why and why do I let other people use me?
I'll give you a hint. It's a matter of low self-esteem.
Even if you subconsciously admit that you are not good enough to receive love just like that, anyone, especially a cunning girl, will instantly fail. And he will use you in the tail and mane. And you will continue to deserve love.
All clear? Then let's move on!
Seven signs that you are being made a sucker
Now point by point. There are clear markers in a girl's behavior that will indicate to you that she is lying. Remember and don't be fooled.
- First sign.
You talk to her about serious things, ask questions, and she turns everything into sex.
Simplified:
- Katerina, where were you yesterday before one in the morning?
- Yes, I was running. By the way, do you want a blowjob?
Seriously, she will bypass any of your questions that relate to a sensitive topic, and instead of answering, she will play on your instincts. Will he get into your panties, start undressing, use his playful hands, lips, or whatever you like?
- Second sign.
When you ask a question, she cannot answer immediately. He stammers, stammers, confuses words, rolls his eyes. If she behaves like this, consider yourself lucky. She's burning herself.
- Third sign.
There is another option. Quite the opposite, and here it’s a little more complicated. This is an option when she is prepared. She knew that you would ask, and thought through her answer in advance, drawing up a clear plan, drawn out in detail. And this is the case when the devil is in the details.
If, in response to your question, she begins to sound like a nightingale, going into detail and eloquently describing her every step, there is a 99% guarantee that she is trying to screw you. Her clear plan can be broken. Just ask a sudden additional question that does not fit into the story line. Her good story will crumble like a house of cards.
- Fourth sign.
She's confused about the facts. She stupidly forgets what she told you yesterday. Either she was re-reading Kafka in the library, or, it turns out, she was doing her nails at the same time. Clear-red, there was no smell of Kafka or marigolds.
- Fifth sign.
As soon as you bring up a topic that is important to you, her mood immediately changes. The girl suddenly remembers your sins. She says that you devote little time and attention to her and don’t love her at all. In short, he will attack.
- Sixth sign.
Goes into inadequacy. He gets angry, asks questions like “Why are you asking? What is it?” Then he suddenly stops and reverses. That is: if she is simply in a bad mood, it will be consistently bad. And if she first got mad and then started to back down, there’s reason to think about it.
- Seventh sign.
Often cancels plans, lies on the phone so as not to look you in the eyes. Force majeure situations happen to everyone, and when plans change infrequently, and there is a normal reason for this, it’s okay. But if she has regular inconsistencies, if every other time she cancels your meeting, for example, this is a wake-up call for you, my horned friend.
Read also: Pimp yourself
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Love is a great feeling, one might even say eternal: if love is real, then it will live forever in our souls and hearts (of course, this only applies to those people who believe in God and the afterlife after death, atheists do not believe in such pathetic However, love is also a great way to manipulate another person. How many women have led and are leading their supposedly beloved men by the nose, talking about their supposed love for them and at the same time sucking the last physical, mental, moral and material juices out of them without giving anything in return? Yes, there are many such young ladies, and every person knows at least several such examples from his life - it could just be a colleague or even a best friend! However, men who manipulate a defenseless female heart thanks to three simple words “I love you” I love" - no less, if not more, than such women. Why do they do this? There are many reasons for boys to deceive girls, and in each case the male representative has his own motives. Let's look at just some of the most common cases from life. A man declares his love and says to a woman “I love you, you are the best” with the purpose: 1. To use a woman for a long time, for free and without the slightest twinge of conscience - I kind of love her, like “... I love her.” I experienced this version of male love in voluptuous ecstasy for 6 years of my life and what I want to say is that I was a complete fool for being fooled by the words of an elderly, suede-haired and bald man, but very cunning, because he was an experienced, macho womanizer, about the love that , as I understand it, there was no trace of it. So what made this 45-year-old experienced manipulator fool a 19-year-old girl? — The desire to take advantage of youth and inexperience. This worked out well for him, because... Before this “macho picchu” I had no other men or boys, because... I behaved like a good girl, decent. So I ran into it. — When you are 45 and you are some kind of businessman, and next to you there is a young and beautiful girl running errands in heels - a future lawyer and economist, by the way, with good spoken and written English, then this greatly raises your social and business status in the eyes both domestic and foreign partners. Lyrical digression: Recently I was hanging out on freelancing, remembering my youth, and came across an advertisement that said photographers were needed for staged shooting of female models for escort services. Well, I became interested, so I went to this site. And what do you think? Those services that I provided for 6 years practically free of charge (for food and sometimes, but extremely rarely, for clothes), the girls earned from 1 to 10,000 US dollars per trip! So now think about who benefits from love with an age difference! And who benefits from the fact that he has filled your head with beautiful, kind and tender words about his own feelings, which in real life do not exist, did not exist and will not exist, but thanks to the illusion of the presence of which one can twist and manipulate ropes out of a bad and young woman. - Free sex. And it’s great. Moreover, several times a day, but once a day or two is 100%. Hot, young, unrestrained. Girls, this beast... man, he drank all the juice out of me over the years of our marriage - after him, my sexual fervor practically disappeared, because of him and his kicks (he constantly communicated with his former lovers, and his wife was in availability, and did not disdain to flirt with new ladies of any age - he stored women under his feet in reserve, in case of sex deficiency, as I now understand) I turned gray early. - Full household chores for free - I cleaned the house, and went shopping, tore off my hands with bags of food, and cooked, and washed, and put away, and ironed, and worried about his affairs at work... Well, you understand … 2. My second case from life, related to male manipulation of love and deception, is somewhat different. Here the guy turned out to be not as smart and intellectually savvy in relationships with the female sex as the previous specimen, although he was already 25. It turns out that he had been fooling me for 8 years, saying that he was head over heels in love - just whistle and I’m all yours. Well, at some point I matured, whistled, and all that, and now I need to decide - who am I with? With him or not, what's next? I ask him - do you love me? And the answer I hear is no. In short, I am very grateful to this comrade for his honesty in the second part of the Marlezon ballet (because then, thank God, I met a REAL man), but what do I want to say? Someone else, more mature and more experienced, could easily tell me, lie, saying that I love you, dear, I don’t have the strength. And I would again, headlong into the pool, for about 5 years... Girls, why don’t we value ourselves so much? Why is a man's love more important to us than our own happiness? Why do I say that, thank God, it passed? Yes, because, as it turned out during the process and even later, this guy was a terrible slob (even a million times worse than me), and even more greedy than my previous one, and he also had a character - not during communication, but in real everyday life everyday life is generally g...but there’s no other way to put it. Why did I write all this? Probably, I wanted to share my bitter female experience, to warn young girls - do not fall in love, girls, with those who speak a lot and beautifully, enveloping you with their languid, low male voice. GIRLS! DON'T FALL IN LOVE AND DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD FROM THOSE MEN WHO TAKE CARE BEAUTIFULLY! SINCE THEY TAKE CARE OF YOU SO BEAUTIFULLY, IT MEANS THEY HAD GREAT EXPERIENCE IN THIS BUSINESS BEFORE YOU! If a man says at the very beginning of an acquaintance that you are so beautiful, and so smart, and so interesting, and in general so cool, and he sprinkles left and right with beautiful, gentle, pleasant and affectionate words about all your conceivable and inconceivable advantages - think about whether this is so, and even if this is so, just don’t rush to fall for all this verbal babble, bouquets of flowers, restaurants and other romantic crap - then a barn castle of love addiction mixed with jealousy, dry rations and the whole of everyday life will fall on your fragile shoulders, and he will “help you around the house” - when you sweep or wash the floor - he will lift his legs. Girls, believe more in those guys who don’t know how to look after you beautifully, don’t say or say little beautiful words and compliments, don’t confess their love, big and bright feelings on the 1-3rd date, don’t pull you straight into bed, but want to get to know each other first with a person they blush and sweat, are embarrassed during a conversation - they are real and good, most likely honest and responsible guys - they are real men, and not these old horses who will annoy you later with their fairy tales. Happiness to you and honest, sincere men who love you, who will never deceive or betray you! https://www.maniwoman.net/.
Three life hacks: how to catch her in the act
- Mr. Nezhdanchik. Find out the approximate schedule of her day, be always aware of her plans. And... do something unexpected. Call and invite her somewhere at the moment when she should be free. Stop by her place at night - just to give her flowers. Do you understand the logic? If a girl has a little secret, she will be shocked by your kicks.
- Ringing. Call her at inconvenient times. Like “say good night,” otherwise you can’t sleep. Or when she went for a walk “with her friends” - call and ask if she can pick her up after. If she constantly fusses over such calls or stupidly doesn’t pick up the phone, there is a reason for questions.
- Listen carefully. Here you will need your ears and the ability to add two plus two, compare facts and create logical chains. She will tell you everything herself, she is not Stirlitz. All you have to do is detect logical contradictions, but decide for yourself what to do with them.
Lying as a way to have fun
Children who could talk excitingly about their encounter with aliens or how they, having fought bravely, were able to defeat a maniac and hand him over to the police, invariably gather a crowd of enthusiastic listeners around them. Such a habit can take hold, and then an adult girl, instead of honestly admitting that on the way from her mother she chatted with a friend and therefore was delayed, will invent a shootout with hostage taking. If this habit confuses you, but talking doesn’t help, show your loved one a clear example of what her behavior looks like. The next time a girl asks you where the clean laundry went from the dryer, feel free to talk about the pirates who boarded the balcony and took away all your washed socks and underwear. After several similar stories, the young lady herself will probably invite you to tell each other only the truth.
I understand that he is lying. Should I send it right away or just talk?
It's up to you to decide, you're a grown man. I can say one thing. If she is lying to you, then you yourself allowed her to behave this way. She saw that such behavior would work with you, and went after your ears.
Read also: How to quarrel and resolve conflicts correctly
I highly recommend that when you catch her for the first time, even in the slightest bit of pussy, you show her that things won’t work that way. Do you want to tell her right away, like, squirrel bunny, what the hell is this?
Or act more subtly if the situation is not critical. Some time after she tries to deceive you, gently whisper in her ear: “I know the truth, I burned you. Stupid, don't do that again. Never."
Gently but firmly let her know that disrespect will not work here. A little something - with things to go out.