Communication skills: this
Communication skills are a person’s ability to interact appropriately with others. That is, it is clear to express your thoughts and interpret information received from others. In simple words, it is our ability to communicate.
Developed communication skills are an effective tool that helps to successfully solve current problems: selling goods, negotiating, speaking in front of the public, understanding the interlocutor and being understood by him. Plus, this is a useful skill that is important for personal development, as it determines the success of interaction with the world, the people around you, and yourself. In particular, success in social, professional, personal and other areas of life depends on how developed our communication abilities are.
What is sociability
Sociability is an important quality in order to quickly make friends with a new team and be accepted in society. Without sociability, it is difficult to negotiate and convince people of anything.
The ability to establish contact with any person and join any company. You can talk to a sociable person on any topic and he will not support you, so he easily manages to win people over.
To be sociable means to be someone who is interesting to others, knows how to present information correctly and has an interesting way of communicating.
A sociable person knows the true impact of words, his diction is well developed and his speech and voice are correct. A sociable person is a versatile person, he is interested in literally everything.
Communication skills: where do they come from?
The communication abilities of each person are formed individually and throughout life. The influencing factors here are relationships with parents, peers, and later with management and work colleagues. In general, our awareness of our own social role dictates to us the “rules” of behavior and communication in the environment.
In many situations, we succumb to the behavioral stereotypes we have developed over the course of our lives, and continue to hold on to them, even when they stop working. Because once, in a similar situation, it worked. We are confident that we are right. We are so comfortable - thinking that we are right, doing what we can, defending what we are confident in. And it really works... but not always. The frequency of victories in communication directly depends on the communication capabilities that we have. In cases where we lack the necessary knowledge or experience, we end up with mistrust and conflicts, and our communications become ineffective.
What is this?
The definition itself sounds like this:
Communication skills are skills that help a person receive and transmit information, meet new people, and establish communication with loved ones and colleagues.
No matter what your level of intelligence or the amount of knowledge you have acquired, it is important to understand how to communicate with others, otherwise it will be impossible to effectively realize your potential. Especially to achieve success in professional activities. They develop in a complex, both the verbal part in presenting oneself and understanding other people, and the non-verbal part.
What to do about it
So, if we are of the opinion that in any direction of human development there is always room for improvement, let's try, at least for a second, to abandon the idea that we are right. This critical look at ourselves will allow us to expand the number of options for what was said and interpretations of what we heard. And no matter how much we would like to shift all responsibility onto the interlocutor, let’s try to evaluate our own communication skills and review our arsenal of communication techniques.
It is surprising that with all the wealth of choice of communication skills known to mankind, for the most part we use only a third of them, preferring the same “old tricks”. What about the rest of the “mineral resources” of our capabilities, where are they, why don’t they work?
Difficulties in communication arise because these same possibilities have not yet been revealed. But the good news is that they can be developed at any age. If we only use a third of our capabilities, imagine how our efficiency will increase if we start using half or more.
How to improve your skills
Completing specialized training will help you develop your communication skills, where practicing models of life situations, even in the event of an error, will not entail irreparable consequences, as happens in life. Professional mentors will help you learn how to resolve conflicts, develop persuasive speech, acquire effective self-presentation skills, and increase the credibility of your words.
In a group of like-minded people, there is an opportunity to creatively approach solving communication problems, test different ways of influencing the interlocutor, use different roles and play out necessary situations. The training course provides a range of techniques and exercises that can be applied in specific situations.
Once you get the first results from the methods in real life, move on to more complex and sophisticated communication options. To achieve greater efficiency, you can practice your communication skills in the company of friends and family.
For practice
In the meantime, the training is planned, here are a few effective communication techniques for everyday practice:
- The rule of three yeses. At the beginning of the conversation, try to structure your phrases or questions in such a way that the interlocutor agrees with you three times or answers “yes.” In this case, it will be easier for you to convince him or sway him in the right direction.
- Do not use negative and aggressive words in your speech that will subconsciously push your interlocutor away from you: must, must, terrible, scary, failure, failure, crush, etc. Use their softer forms: would like, slight difficulties, a little anxious, would prefer, restrain.
- Try not to speak loudly and emotionally if it is associated with a negative description of the situation. Pay attention to the reaction of your interlocutor caused by your gestures and movements. Conversely, do not skimp on showing emotions in positive stories.
- Watch your tone of voice. Understanding will become difficult if any explanation is carried out in a raised voice. Learn to place accents correctly during a conversation.
- When communicating with aggressive or negative people, imagine a glass wall around you that does not allow the pressure and pessimism of the interlocutor to pass through.
- To make it easier for you to tune in to positive communication or refrain from retaliatory attacks, imagine your interlocutor as the person you respect or love infinitely. You will want to understand him and will do everything to make him understand you.
- In disputes, use comparisons if you are sure that we can defend our point of view. This technique will also add richness to the conversation.
- Pay attention to the main “weapon of attack” of your interlocutor. Mirror his behavior or phraseology and use it against him.
- To be convincing, use numerical examples, statistical data, rely on well-known facts and authoritative sources.
- At all times, the most powerful technique for both generating sympathy and escaping conflict has been and remains a sense of humor. By commenting with a joke on your interlocutor’s statement or attack, make the conversation pleasant and emotionally vivid, and you will not be forgotten.
We develop communication skills and confident communication...
Who is a sociable person? This is, first of all, a person who enjoys communication. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more enjoyable experience for you. If you feel like you're not a good communicator, try the following tips.
Who is a sociable person? This is, first of all, a person who enjoys communication. A sociable person does not care who he communicates with: he is interested in the process itself. If you feel like you're not a good enough communicator, and that you're often looking for an opportunity to avoid an upcoming conversation, try listening to the following tips.
Don't avoid communication.
Do you think that you are quite sociable, but you prefer to engage in dialogue only if the interlocutor is pleasant to you and you are in a good mood? For example, if you notice an acquaintance walking towards you, then you prefer to turn off the path in order to avoid conversation with him; If you notice a person you don’t know at the public transport window, you prefer to wait for the next bus.
All these are signs that you are not communicative enough. You should strive to develop this quality in yourself. To do this, try not to avoid random meetings, communicate with unfamiliar people or with those who are completely unfamiliar to you. This way you will develop the skill of sociability.
Learn to enjoy communication.
It's not as simple as it seems. We always prepare ourselves for how the planned conversation with this or that person will go. For example, a meeting with a former classmate seems very boring and uninteresting to you, since you know that your interlocutor is a typical bore. An upcoming conversation with your boss always involves some stiffness and nervousness. Before a conversation that seems unpleasant to you, you should tune in for the best: remember that you can always change the situation, change roles with your interlocutor.
For example, you don’t really want to listen to the childhood memories of your former classmate. Great - don’t listen, start telling the story yourself, take control of the situation. Or turn the conversation to another topic that will be interesting to both of you. Turn the upcoming unpleasant conversation into a pleasant one. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more enjoyable experience for you.
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Try to initiate the conversation.
Living in a big city, it’s easy to pretend that you don’t see an old friend with whom you’re traveling in the same subway car—or to pretend that you don’t recognize him. As a rule, downcast eyes indicate your reluctance to make contact. It works - they don’t want to communicate with you either. But such an adult game of hide and seek makes you experience much more negative emotions than a conversation with even the most undesirable interlocutor.
When you are hiding from your acquaintance, you are in a state of anticipation, fear: “Did he recognize you? Does he/she want to talk?” In order not to be tormented by such questions and not to wait for people to come up to you and start talking, it is better to start the conversation yourself, act as the initiator of the dialogue. You will feel that it is quite easy.
When coming into contact with people, do not be too formal in communicating with them.
To the questions: “How are you?” and “How are you?” It’s quite logical to talk a little about your affairs and your life. The dryness of your answers and reluctance to engage in conversation will be regarded as disrespect and hostility towards your interlocutor.
To become a pleasant conversationalist, you need to remember the main rule of any conversation - you need to respect the opinion of your interlocutor, even if it strongly disagrees with your opinion, if it causes you a storm of protest. Your protest must be expressed in a civilized manner.
If you show respect for the other person's position, then you will gain his trust. But remember that respecting your opponent's opinion does not mean that you necessarily agree with his point of view. How to properly express respect for the opinion of your interlocutor?
- Listen to your opponent carefully, even if he says the most unthinkable things, if his position contradicts the laws of logic. Listen to the end, be patient, and try to show interest in your interlocutor’s point of view.
- If he does not know the norms of literary language or the basics of logic and rhetoric, do not take advantage of the hitches in his argument to get your word in; this way you can completely confuse your interlocutor
- After your interlocutor finishes expressing his thoughts, first of all, note the merits of his opinion, name the advantages of his position with which you agree. And then start criticizing.
- Express your point of view without humiliating or insulting your interlocutor . Remember that in no case should you use arguments such as: “You don’t understand the issue at all, you are completely incompetent, you misunderstand the essence of the matter.” With such statements you will only insult your opponent, but will not come to a compromise.
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To express respect for your interlocutor, you can use statements like: “Suppose you are right,” “Suppose I agree with you.” This will please your interlocutor and will mean that you understood and accepted his point of view as worthy.
Any dispute should be aimed at finding some kind of compromise solution , and not just quarrel or prove to your opponent your own superiority. Therefore, in any conversation, always strive not for conflict, but for making a decision that will suit both parties.
Author: Irina Olegovna Tyurina, Candidate of Sociological Sciences, leading researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences.
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