There are very few men who master the art of oratory. And those who master it perfectly are even fewer. One thing is good - it is possible to master this tricky science, and most importantly, it is necessary! It is enough just not to delay the transition from theory to practice.
Catch detailed step-by-step instructions that will turn a shy young man into an eloquent macho.
What am I doing wrong?
The vast majority of guys fail at the very first stage of communicating with a girl. And for a long time they are at a loss as to why it is this way and not otherwise. In fact, there are a huge number of reasons. By the way, by finding out which, you can significantly improve the situation. Let's look at the most common of them:
- Complete lack of experience. Of course, guys who rarely meet and communicate with the opposite sex have it much more difficult.
- Low self-esteem. It is a thousand times more difficult for insecure guys to start a conversation with an unfamiliar girl. Doubts and fears overcome them and ultimately defeat them.
- Experience from past failures. Young people who have previously encountered problems communicating with the opposite sex are finding it increasingly difficult to overcome this barrier. With each subsequent attempt, they program themselves for failure.
The tips given below in the article will help you correct the situation and learn how to communicate properly with a girl. Thanks to our recommendations, you will be able to turn the conversation into a natural process that does not make you weak at the knees.
How to behave with a man so that he falls in love
One-sided love is an excellent inspiration for creativity, judging by the number of works dedicated to suffering, but those who have fallen mutually in love have no time for poetry and paintings. If you still do not want to choose a creative path, then you can direct the level of energy that has risen against the background of a hormonal surge into the direction of an indifferent object of adoration falling in love with you. A man can easily be captivated by his own beauty, an interesting meeting, or some proposal, but infatuation does not always develop into love. The mistake is that without information about the man, having received a piece of individual attention, the woman believes that everything has come together successfully, and now he will bathe her in champagne, and the man loses his quickly sparked interest and disappears from the radar after a couple of evenings together. So constant attention, manifestation of active interest and analysis of his words, reactions, actions will help transform passion into deeper interest. Your ability to support topics that interest him, your ideas that coincide with his opinion are tools aimed at establishing a more interesting contact.
But watch your own behavior without turning into a detective prying for information. A woman is attracted, first of all, by her femininity, distinctive softness from the male world, playfulness and openness. When talking about feminine expressions, dresses and lipsticks immediately come to mind, but for men, feminine behavior, the ability to construct phrases and control of one’s own voice are much more important. The unknown of the female world fascinates and captivates, and men strive to unravel the mysteries, so naturalness is welcomed, but revealing all the cards and telling your full biography should not be allowed. Leave room for his imagination, which is your most faithful assistant, since you will not be able to talk about yourself as temptingly as he can imagine. Feel free to share general information, but try not to talk about deeper or more intimate things or try to avoid answering nicely with half-hints and smiles.
Show interest in the man, communicate, but do not impose. Independence makes you want to do something for you, the lack of questions about his feelings pushes you to shout about it to the whole area, some coldness and lack of fear of losing him makes you fight for you. The hunter's instinct works religiously, and the more difficult the prey encountered along the way, the more interesting the man is, therefore, the more independence you show, the more he will fall in love with you. You can miss his call, go to dinner with a friend, but do not forget to show that you are interested in him - such emotional swings force men to become emotionally invested in a relationship, and they usually do not leave what they have put a lot of effort into.
Engage in expanding and deepening your own special and social knowledge. The times when a woman was interesting only for her appearance are long gone and now being an knowledgeable interlocutor in various areas is the norm. And, in addition, a rich dialogue provides opportunities for planning and building further time together, whereas after naked intimacy there are no connecting threads of interest, and there is nothing more to meet for.
Develop your individuality, because... By talking to a man only about topics that interest him, you risk soon losing his attention. The delight of community passes, but the brain’s need for new information remains, so the time will come when you need to gradually reveal the full depth of your own mental world, plunging into which a man can experience a variety of emotions. Let it be delight or a desire to convince you, a desire to join or prohibit - any reaction will give rise to further development of the relationship.
But not only in conversations is the power of the birth of love, but in the tenderness of touches that occur as if by chance, in passing, almost imperceptibly. This is bringing the psychological distance closer, establishing contact with his body and imprinting in his memory not only as a spiritual carrier of information, but as a completely living physical object of the opposite sex.
Lessons from women's wisdom: what not to do
There are certain things that are unacceptable in close communication with a man.
Following simple rules will help take relationships to a new, productive level:
- Do not instruct or tell how to live . A man must be led to the desired decision smoothly and carefully. It will be better if he thinks that he has found a way out of the situation on his own.
- Don't blame. The man is always right. He will appreciate the support of his beloved woman.
- Don't limit freedom. Everyone should have the right to personal space. It is wrong to limit a man in his hobbies and communication with friends.
- Don't criticize his hobby. The ideal option is to share his hobbies with your partner.
Don't forget about yourself. Women's hobbies, meeting with friends, self-care, and self-development are necessary in order not to become a housewife.
Clever words for communication that touch girls
If you want to impress a girl, “touch her soul,” and burn it into her memory, then it won’t hurt you to turn to the works of the classics. Perhaps from this side the interlocutor does not expect to recognize you at all. Pick up a few quotes that you can skillfully use in conversation. Just don’t need to quote statuses, which are abundant in various groups on VK - if they caught your eye, then, most likely, the girl has already read them. Just search on the Internet for “quotes about love”, “quotes about relationships”, “quotes about friendship” and so on. Think about what you will probably talk about with the girl and make appropriate preparations. To avoid getting confused yourself, choose small but effective sayings.
What might this look like? For example: “You know, even though Brodsky said, home is a place where they don’t ask you unnecessary questions,” but with us everything is often completely different.” This can be said with a smile and then followed by some story on this topic. In general, think in advance about phrases with which you can effectively “show off.”
The way to a man's heart lies...
Everyone knows the saying that the way to a loving man's heart is through his stomach. And no matter how funny it may be, the old saying is still relevant. So why not listen to the wisdom that has been around for hundreds of years?
A man whose dinner is cooked by his woman feels something like the call of his ancestors. After all, thousands of years ago, this is how women fed their male hunters around the fire.
Yes, he comes in the evening not with a killed mammoth, but with a briefcase. But dinner prepared by the woman you love always has a touch of sacredness. Don't neglect this factor.
There is no need to dive into the study of cookbooks. Learn to cook a few simple dishes. Most men are often not picky about food, the main thing is that it is tasty, satisfying and a little varied. And for sophistication you can go to a restaurant.
Take care of yourself
Never neglect your appearance. Give her special attention. Remember, you should always be the most beautiful woman for your man. Don't be afraid to change. Surprise a man with your beauty. He should always consider you the most irresistible and attractive. Marriage is not a reason to forget about your appearance. Some women forget about themselves after they get married, mistakenly believing that they have achieved the most important thing.
Remember, a man will be afraid of losing you if he sees that you are a self-sufficient and attractive woman. Do not think about unquestioningly fulfilling all his wishes and forgetting about yourself. If there is peace and harmony in your home, a man will never want to leave such a house. Know that everything is in your hands.
Wisdom in family relationships
Harmony in family relationships largely depends on the wisdom of a woman.
Following simple recommendations will allow you to improve your everyday life and emotional contact with your husband:
- The weather in the family is created by the mood of the woman. Calmness, fidelity, love and patience will allow the husband to feel a reliable rear behind him, will encourage him to perform feats for the sake of his family and his beloved.
- The wife knows very well that relationships are built on equality and love, understanding and respect. She will not be jealous, criticize, or cheat.
- The wife understands that the mechanisms of love manifest themselves differently in men and women. She will not demand flowers or expensive gifts from her husband; she values, above all, care and the ability to lend a shoulder in difficult times.
- The spouse must understand that the irritation manifested in family quarrels is caused by the discrepancy between what was expected and reality. The main task of a woman is not to make excessive demands on her husband.
- Understanding that all people are imperfect, everyone makes mistakes, makes it easier for a wife to forgive her husband for his mistakes and not get hung up on them.
The use of simple worldly wisdom in everyday life and married life can make the union of two people more fulfilling.
Be independent and positive
There is a patriarchal myth that “a real woman should be weak and constantly need male help.” In fact, men highly value and respect those women who can figure out their own lives, make decisions, show some kind of activity, etc. And men are more willing to help not “white-handed princesses”, but self-sufficient ladies who simply at a certain moment cannot cope on their own and really need specific help or advice.
Know how to feel your independence, try not to show your dependence on a man, even if it exists. Find yourself a favorite activity or hobby, develop yourself in every possible way, otherwise he will stop appreciating you and lose all interest.
What kind of woman is a man afraid of losing? Smart, independent, unobtrusive, who can easily support any conversation. In general, someone with whom he will be pleased to appear in society, whom he is not ashamed to introduce to friends or parents. At the same time, trying to be independent, do not forget about him, take an interest in his affairs, listen to him.
Try to always be calm and cheerful, be positive. “Inner light” is really very attractive - they don’t want to lose such women. Such a woman is calm and comfortable with her friends, at work, in a variety of companies, with relatives - in general, this is a woman who is tuned in to a certain wave of happiness, calmness and warmth... This sense of self is perfectly transmitted to men - they also feel good next to her , easy and cozy!
Of course, this does not mean that we are talking about constant euphoria and a complete absence of negative emotions (this is impossible and abnormal for any person). This refers to the general light and joyful mood that prevails if there are no objectively difficult situations.
Develop your interdependence
Develop in yourself what makes him dependent on you. Any relationship is built on interdependence. And that's okay. It is likely that he cannot imagine his life without the comfort that you create in the house, without your tenderness and even a smile, and, ultimately, without the food prepared by you. You, in turn, also feel a certain dependence - on his money, position in society and interesting conversations with him... In general, situations are different.
Determine what it is about you that is especially dear to him, and focus on it, develop it in yourself in every possible way. Does he sleep long on Sundays and like to treat himself to junk food? Allow him to do this... occasionally. Let him sleep, and you quietly get up and prepare him his favorite dish. He will be very pleased. Or run to McDonald's and buy him a big bag of fast food.
How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing you? Sometimes indulge his whims, but you shouldn’t always do this, otherwise he will get used to it and stop perceiving such little things as joy.
