Just 10-20 years ago, meeting someone on the street or on public transport was logical and understandable. Nowadays, not everyone would risk meeting people in this way. Pick-up artist, scammer, gigolo - it’s hard to say who girls can run into. Therefore, they often ignore any manifestation of attention from the opposite sex.
Is there really no chance of starting a relationship with the girl you like right on the street? Our article contains only real tips for successful dating.
- 3 effective and beautiful ways to continue dating:
The right attitude
Before you start meeting people on the street, you need to work on your psychological attitude. The main obstacle for most men is the fear of rejection. By the way, it is completely justified - according to statistics, only 2 out of 10 attempts at street dating are successful.
Be prepared for the fact that you cannot avoid rejections at the initial stage. So that your self-esteem does not suffer, perceive the process as an exciting study. If you drive a car, remember the first time you got behind the wheel. It was scary, my body didn’t obey, my legs were shaking. What conclusion did you draw after this?
Surely you have decided that you don’t have the skills yet, you need to practice more, and then each time riding will become easier and more enjoyable. What would happen if, after the first unsuccessful attempt, you began to consider yourself a good-for-nothing loser, fell into despondency and swore never to drive the wheel again? That's right - you would still be walking.
Dating is also a skill that requires practice, experience, and feedback. After each failure, repeat the mantra to yourself: “It’s okay, I’m just learning.” Over time, negative experiences will be replaced by positive ones, and you will begin to enjoy meeting any girl.
Phone call, date or Arrivederci?
The topic for conversation has been determined, interest has arisen, how to move on to more active actions and find the right phrases for the development of events? Be sure to ask if the stranger has at least half an hour of free time, so that the acquaintance smoothly turns into a mini-date. Invite her to take a walk, sit in a cafe, or simply exchange numbers so you can see each other in your free time.
If you met based on common interests, continue to develop this topic. Find out what your companion likes, do not hesitate to ask a wide variety of questions. It is important not to cross the line between interest and intrusiveness. Don’t lie, don’t use information in phrases that you’re not sure is true. Use humor, be cheerful, positive. And then the girl will definitely have a desire not only to leave her number, but also to call you!
How to approach a girl and start talking: 3 dating strategies
Let's move on to practice. Read about the lines of behavior and choose one to start with. And when you master all three, the question of “how to meet girls” will be solved for you.
Partisan
The most winning, safe, universal strategy. If you are shy or afraid, she will help you preserve your self-esteem. The point is that you start with neutral small talk, using the context of the situation. Situations can be dictated by circumstances or created by you. For clarity, I will give 4 examples.
- You noticed a girl at a bus stop and decided to meet her. Come and ask about the route and schedule of the bus you need. Or ask for directions to your destination.
- The classic option is to offer to help carry heavy bags. Just don’t snatch them from her hands, otherwise she will decide that you are a robber. You can offer an umbrella if it’s raining, or walk her home if it’s dark and scary outside. Any relevant help will do.
- Ask where your loved one bought her handbag/blouse/chain, etc. Your sister’s birthday is coming up soon, and you would like to give her the same one.
- Sometimes the girl herself can give you an idea for a conversation. For example, she is walking with the dog. Come over, ask permission to pet her pet, ask about the breed - girls are willing to talk about what they love. Instead of a dog, there could be a book, a portrait of your favorite band on a T-shirt, or an interesting and unusual accessory.
The advantage of this strategy is that you can “test the waters” before openly expressing your attraction and intention to meet. By the girl's reaction to your first phrases, you can easily understand whether she is attracted to you or closed.
If she smiles, willingly carries on the conversation and shows interest, move on to the acquaintance, the green light is on for you. If the chosen one answers in monosyllables, looks to the side or through you, and her face is gloomy, turn off the fishing rods.
It is possible that you will also stop liking Madame during the conversation. Then you can politely bow out and go home, while preserving both your and her nerve cells.
Straightforward
This strategy is for those who do not like to pull the cat by the tail, but prefer to get straight to the point. The likelihood of getting rejected using this method is much higher - be prepared for this.
So, you have identified a “victim” and are ready to bring down all your masculine charm on her. If she walks down the street towards you, try to catch her eye and smile. When you reach the beauty, stop, but not blocking her path, but slightly to the side. If you are walking in the same direction, first catch up with her and walk a few steps side by side.
Never talk to a girl from behind her back. And especially don’t grab her hand or shoulder.
Start your acquaintance with a greeting. Speak in a friendly and enthusiastic manner and smile. Leave all your importance and pompousness at home - don’t talk to the girl as if you’re doing her a favor.
At this stage, it is very important what image the girl draws in her head. The worst option is if she decides that you are an indiscriminate womanizer or a would-be pick-up artist who meets everyone in a row in pursuit of quantity. These people can easily be recognized by their casual tone, impressiveness, hackneyed phrases and smug grin. They cause nothing but ridicule.
Ideally, the girl should get the impression that you are a self-sufficient and sought-after man who is simply going about his business and is not planning any acquaintances, but suddenly sees HER. This is how love stories begin in many films, have you noticed? Every representative of the fair sex considers herself unique and dreams of a man who will see the “zest” in her at first sight.
I will give examples of what you can say to a girl to achieve this effect. By the way, slight embarrassment will play into your hands; you shouldn’t be ashamed of it and try to hide it.
- “You smile so charmingly that I forgot where I was going.”
- “I still haven’t figured out what to say to you to get to know each other. Let’s pretend that I’ve already said this.”
- “I’ve never met someone on the street, but today seems to be a special day.”
- “Forgive me for my tactlessness, but I won’t forgive myself if I don’t find out your name.”
- “I liked you so much that I couldn’t help but share this information with you.”
- “What have you done to me? I’m worried like a student before an exam.”
- “I don’t know what to say in such cases... Maybe we’ll just have coffee together?”
I'll tell you one more secret (may the girls forgive me). If you meet two friends, one of whom is noticeably superior to the other in beauty and showiness, approach and express your sympathy for the simpler one. If you liked it, of course, you shouldn’t do this out of idle curiosity. The effect will be simply stunning - you will blow her away.
Watch this video, there are a lot of useful tips.
Daring
Strategy for the bravest. Its danger is that in case of failure, you can not only run into refusal, but also cause aggression towards yourself. But such a risk is more than compensated for by a hefty dose of adrenaline.
You need to act on the verge of self-confidence and arrogance. You can even neglect the rules of politeness and turn to “you”. Your goal is to evoke emotions in the girl, “break” the pattern, and confuse her. And while she has not recovered from the shock, quickly move on to acquaintance.
I will give examples.
- Sit down next to the girl on the bench and say calmly: “I’ve come. Aren’t you tired of waiting here for me?”
- After passing by a stranger, turn around and ask: “Why did you pinch me?”
- Look at the girl for a few minutes without looking away, and then say: “Why are you looking at me so intently?”
Smile
There is such a way to meet people. Look closely at the girl. If she's in no hurry, this is the right time to approach. You meet eyes with a girl. Smile at her. Surprise her. For example, you can start a conversation with her with the phrase “Oh, beautiful lady, let me meet you!” It is unlikely that she will refuse this form of acquaintance.
Communication during university dating should be respectful .
Remember that the best way to woo a girl is chivalry. Help her carry her bag, give her your hand whenever possible. Buy her small gifts.
Common mistakes: what not to do
Let's figure out what pitfalls await newcomers at the beginning of dating and how to avoid them.
Compliments - friends or enemies
You should be careful with compliments when dating. Until the girl reveals herself to you as a person, the only thing you can compliment is her appearance. And this is a minefield. One wrong word and boom! – she turns away and walks off into the sunset with a dissatisfied face.
To prevent this from happening to you, read the following phrases and forget them like a bad dream!
- "You are cute".
In the hit parade of anti-compliments, the word “pretty” takes an honorable first place. Girls hate him! And all because there is a cherished word “beautiful”. So say it.
- “I like your feet/fingers/hands/ears, etc.”
Compliments to certain parts of the body sound too impersonal, and sometimes even condescending and vulgar.
- “You can drown in your bottomless eyes.”
Avoid cliched phrases and poetic exaggeration. They give the impression of being home-made by an experienced womanizer who meets 10 girls in a day.
I’ll share with you a little trick on how to please a girl without resorting to standard compliments. It's all about the right presentation. The compliment should not be your words themselves, but the conclusion that the girl will draw from them.
For example, you can start your acquaintance like this: “Have you by any chance acted in a jewelry commercial? I think I saw your picture in a store window.” The girl will be pleased that you mistook her for a fashion model, because only the very beautiful ones are featured in advertising.
You can play on female psychology. Most girls 20+ strive to look younger. Play along with them! You can ask what course your chosen one is studying in if you see that she is no longer a student. Remember to be genuinely surprised when you hear her real age.
Phone number at any cost
The main goal of meeting people on the street is to please the girl and make her want to continue communication. If you succeed, she will happily leave you her phone number.
But some men confuse cause and effect and try at all costs to get the coveted number from the girl, as if it were the code to a safe with a million dollars. Persuasion, manipulation, pressure on pity, appeal to conscience and even threats are used. Never do this, men - it humiliates you.
The golden rule of all dating is don’t be a beggar. Respect yourself and your girl!
One guide for novice pick-up artists advises immediately checking the phone number for accuracy when making a call. Girls, they say, are so insidious that they can deceive. Yes, this happens. There are usually two reasons - the chosen one is afraid to hurt you with a direct refusal, or you got her so tired of persuasion that it was easier for her to give up.
In any case, there is no need to try to bring her to light, like a naughty child. This will not add sympathy to you.
If you don’t praise yourself, no one will praise you
This point is about such an irreplaceable quality as modesty. Please do not confuse it with self-doubt; these properties have nothing in common.
During dating, there is a great temptation to tell the girl about all your achievements and strengths. My advice to you is to keep this trump card up your sleeve, it will come in handy.
Imagine that a stranger, out of the blue, tells you that he is a great specialist in his field, who has no equal in your city. What do you think about him? What if you learn the same information after a while not from him, but from mutual friends or from the media? In which case will the effect be stronger?
Not only does praising your loved one devalue your merits in the eyes of another person, but you also acquire a reputation as a braggart and an arrogant person. And much of what you and your mother are proud of is of dubious value to a stranger.
You can share your successes if there is a request from the other side. For example, you and your girlfriend start a conversation, you say that you play sports, and she asks about your successes in competitions. Here you can safely talk about your achievements. But without fanaticism, please.
Such valuable universal human qualities as intelligence, beauty, nobility, kindness should never be declared in words! A new friend should discover them in you herself.
“I didn’t want it to hurt!”
Learn to lose with dignity. If a girl refuses you for some reason, do not try to mentally humiliate and devalue her. And even more so, don’t throw out all your indignation on the poor guy with the phrases “what a fool,” “you’re terrible yourself,” “a queen has been found,” etc. Accept the fact of defeat and draw conclusions for the future. Otherwise you will never learn anything.
Be friendly and confident
The secret to successful dating always comes down to the right body language. Therefore, when you approach a woman, keep your head raised, straighten your shoulders, as if you are reaching the top of your head towards the sky and smile. By exuding confidence and friendliness, you will endear yourself to others.
So, the best way to meet an unfamiliar girl on the street is to immediately approach her. Many guys are afraid of this and miss thousands of opportunities. They are afraid to approach, so they prefer to wait for the “right moment”, which never comes.
Additionally, many guys are afraid of appearing shy, awkward, or clingy. Girls feel this anxiety very well and instantly lose interest.
Instead of hesitantly marking time, act like this: follow the “two seconds” rule. As soon as you notice an attractive girl, approach her within two seconds, this will not leave you time for doubts and stupid thoughts.
Useful materials on the topic
Below I will tell you about the best relationship courses for guys. They will teach you how to properly look for a girl, get rid of fears and insecurities.
How to build a relationship with a girl
Description. I like Vinilov’s novel courses, I like his approach. The teacher will teach you not to play some role and pretend, but to be yourself, real, and tell your beloved sincerely about your feelings. And at the same time, understand the girl, make her truly happy in her relationship with you.
You will learn what distinguishes men who are always liked by girls and whose lives are filled with happy relationships, from those whom girls constantly leave. Moreover, external beauty, strength or money do not play a special role here.
The course is also suitable for those guys who have already been “burned”: they broke up with their beloved girlfriend or, after several failures, fell into a stupor, lost self-confidence, and despair.
Author: Roman Vinilov.
Cost: 3,500 rubles.
School link
Escalation of touches from Egor Sheremetyev
Description. One day I went to my friend’s VKontakte page and saw in his added videos a video with the title “When you can start touching a girl.” I would never have thought that guys would ask this question; it seemed to me that everything happened somehow by itself.
Later, while analyzing dating courses, I came across this material. Egor Sheremetyev tells the guys how to properly touch girls. How to do it without being rude or looking like an animal. How to talk about your feelings while touching your loved one's body. Perhaps these questions are really worth studying.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 5,750 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
How to meet and seduce a girl - 100 questions and answers
Description. According to the author, this course contains the most popular questions from guys who come to his relationship courses. The most popular and problematic. When you get the answer to them, it will be easy for you to meet girls, bring them home, and make love.
The course format is a recording of an online seminar. Total duration – 4 hours. This course can be purchased if you have already started dating an incredibly beautiful girl and are afraid of ruining something in the relationship. And, of course, you don’t have time to study extensive courses.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 997 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
Men's intensive
Description. Egor Sheremetyev's intensive is suitable for men of any age. And it doesn’t matter whether you have a girlfriend, or are single, or have been married for a long time.
Everything is studied here. Starting from the first date with a girl to intimacy with her. Egor will teach you how to dress correctly, find topics for conversation, and easily move on to a stable relationship.
Much attention is paid, of course, to intimate issues. If you can't please your girlfriend, it will be a serious problem in the relationship. In my opinion, after purchasing this intensive course, you don’t have to buy any more courses or books. Read the guys' reviews on the material page - make sure.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: with all bonuses, the program costs only 4,990 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
Appearance of a young man
This is a very important aspect. You don't have to wear branded items. Clothes should be clean, neat, preferably chosen with taste. All this will give you self-confidence and increase the chance of a successful acquaintance. It is also worth paying attention to details:
- shoes must be clean;
- perfume - pleasant and unobtrusive.
We should not forget about hygiene procedures. If a guy stinks of sweat, it’s unlikely that a girl will communicate with him. It is better to go hunting after taking a shower.
Facial hair should not be overlooked. The beard or stubble should be neat and stylish. If you can’t achieve this yourself, you can contact a barbershop.
The main barriers to successful dating
Before meeting each other, women immediately scan a potential partner. As scientists from Princeton University have proven, the decision is made within the first 8 seconds.
The most common obstacles to getting to know a girl are:
- unkempt appearance/bad image;
- incorrectly chosen first phrases;
- tightness or arrogance.
Easily getting to know and liking an unfamiliar girl is a difficult task even for a handsome, interesting guy. Excitement, inability to construct a correctly free, unobtrusive dialogue, lack of sufficient experience, or feigned swagger may interfere.
Choosing a girl “out of her league” is another obstacle to successful dating. The higher a woman’s social status, the greater the demands on her partner. Do you like beautiful, successful, well-read people? Develop, “pump up” your intelligence and appearance. There is another way - to choose an object of attention that corresponds to your current level.
To start communicating with a girl correctly, you should not try on masks. The unnaturalness of the image and behavior is visible to the naked eye. The woman will feel that the new acquaintance is only trying on a “cool phrase” that does not suit him. Changes need to be introduced gradually and assessed from the outside.
