How to understand that you have fallen out of love with a guy: signs of cooling feelings

Reasons for the disappearance of feelings

Sometimes a girl who has a partner begins to notice that her feelings are no longer as passionate as before. I want to go on dates, see and hear my lover less often. Such changes are explained by the following reasons:

1. The woman confused falling in love with love. Feelings flared up suddenly and clouded her mind. But the obsession gradually passed. The partner’s shortcomings immediately became noticeable, a difference in hobbies and worldview was discovered, which rarely benefits the union.
2. The young man relaxed and stopped caring and paying attention to his chosen one, which radically changed her attitude towards him.
3. The girl suspects that the guy is flirting with other people. Perhaps with some his game went further than it should. It is unpleasant for her to realize that a man behaves this way and her heart gradually grows cold towards him.
4. The woman suddenly realizes that she treats her chosen one not as a lover, but as a brother or close friend.
5. A new man appears around the girl, who immediately arouses her sympathy. Over time, her feelings develop into something more, and her former boyfriend fades into the background.

READ How to survive the stages of separation with dignity: advice from psychologists

A girl does not always know how to understand that she has already stopped loving a young man, and why this happened. But the reason needs to be found out so that you can then voice it to your partner when breaking up.

Trouble-free tricks

When a relationship doesn't work out and a couple breaks up, someone always suffers more, not knowing how to cope with their pain and stop loving the girl who doesn't love you anymore. Psychologists recommend 6 ways to forget a girl that are incredibly effective:

1. "Out of sight, out of mind". You need to stop stalking and spying on the new life of your ex-passion: no calls or messages, no attempts to meet or searches for information through friends, even if we are talking about a girl you love very much. It is important to maintain maximum distance. It would be even better to temporarily go to a neighboring city to visit relatives or friends.
2. People aren't perfect. Everyone has their own shortcomings, but a person in love simply does not notice them. It’s worth looking at your ex from the outside, finding a flaw in her appearance and trying to turn a small flaw into a huge problem. It is important that a photograph of a girl becomes something akin to a caricature for a guy.
3. Anger is a great medicine. Most likely, in addition to external flaws, the lady also has a far from ideal character. She often shows temper, ignoring, and lying. If you remember well, it’s not difficult to find many moments for which a guy has a grudge against a girl. Anger also needs to be hypertrophied. It wouldn’t be out of place to be angry at yourself for being soft, because for some reason the young man endured all this time.
4. Leisure. The more time a man has, the better. A lot of new positive emotions will allow you to take your mind off thoughts of breaking up and raise your own self-esteem.
5. "Fight fire with fire". Any folk wisdom has its background from life experience. It’s worth looking around: suddenly one of the girls has been waiting for a long time for a young man to pay attention to her. Now is the time to take a break.
6. New acquaintances. Active pastime is good not only for health and self-esteem, but also for broadening your horizons and meeting new people. A small holiday romance, which does not oblige you to anything, will allow a man to relax and believe in himself again.

READ Secrets of overcoming depression after a breakup

Main manifestations

There are several signs that help a girl understand that she has stopped loving a man:

1. The woman begins to doubt her feelings. This means that not everything in the relationship is as smooth as it seems. There is a reason, even if unconscious, that is slowly and persistently destroying relationships.
2. There is a tendency towards loneliness. The girl no longer wants to spend all her free time with her partner. She willingly agrees to meet with friends and spends her evenings reading books or watching films.
3. Becomes irritable. Everything that used to be attractive in a man is now repulsive. A woman doesn’t like the way her partner dresses and talks; she is infuriated by his actions and actions. The girl no longer wants to compliment the guy, cook luxurious dinners, or pamper him with pleasant little things.
4. Often visited by a feeling of shame. When a young lady falls in love, she stops caring about other people's opinions. If relatives and friends want to open a lady’s eyes to the true qualities of a young man, then she simply brushes them aside. Cooling of feelings leads to the fact that the girl notices the shortcomings of the chosen one and she becomes ashamed in front of others for his words, actions and even thoughts. And in general company, she constantly feels awkward next to her lover.
5. Chronic fatigue takes over a woman. The man acts as a sleeping pill. Next to him, she begins to yawn, does not want to talk, and does not react to external stimuli. The girl has only one desire - to go to bed.
6. Interest disappears. She no longer wants to listen to his stories about fishing and football. It doesn't matter to her what's going on at work, why he quarreled with a friend, or what plans he makes for the weekend. She is easily ready to let him go hunting, fishing, going to the bathhouse or meeting with friends.
7. There is no sexual attraction to the chosen one. If a girl does not experience pleasure from intimacy and increasingly comes up with reasons to refuse sex, then, most likely, the crush has passed, and it is better for her to look for another partner.
8. When dreaming, a woman imagines a happy future. If there is no man in her plans, it means that she has stopped loving the person and cannot imagine him next to her in a few years.

READ What to do if a man leaves a pregnant woman: finding out the reasons and finding a solution

The girl must realize that her feelings have cooled down and not blame herself for this. This means that this was not the person she really needed.

The main reasons why love dies

There are several reasons that can kill a feeling. It's rare for couples to break up over just one thing, although it does happen. Even if the union has already collapsed, it is worth analyzing the situation. This will help you avoid making mistakes in the future.

Monotony and life

Monotony and everyday life come first, since many couples lead approximately the same lifestyle - work, housekeeping, financial problems, minor intra-family troubles. Sooner or later, this begins to become very tiring, partners are looking for new emotions outside of the relationship - someone starts an affair on the side, someone prefers to immerse themselves in work, hobbies, and friendly communication.

READ

What to do when a guy is offended: recommendations from psychologists

Monotony cannot kill love if everything else is fine, it simply dulls feelings, creates an illusion and modifies a person’s mental state. It is not recommended to break up because of routine in everyday life - then a woman may regret it.

Lack of romance

If there is a feeling that all the romance has disappeared, then perhaps the girl has stopped loving the man. You need to pay attention to some nuances. When a feeling of uselessness or disinterest in a partner arises, you should look at how he behaves in everyday life.

Many young people simply do not think that their lovers have a need for romantic exploits on their part. Psychological comfort, mutual respect, and care shown in small things are important to them. If a guy declares his love, gives in, tries to please, but does not make any pleasant surprises, then you should not ruin the union.

It is recommended to talk with your partner and explain to him that passion in a relationship needs to be supported with something new, and to bring nice variety into your everyday life.

Ways to check your feelings

A man who loves his lady will definitely notice that she has slightly lost interest in him. To confirm her feelings, he may arrange several tests. And thus will help the girl understand how she really feels about her chosen one.

Examples of experiments:

1. The guy may think that he has problems at work, and will demonstrate his bad mood in every possible way. If the girl’s heart does not flutter with excitement for her lover, and there is no desire to console him, then, most likely, the old feelings no longer exist.
2. Feeling the chill emanating from a lady, a man can become carried away by a more sensual person. If a woman, having learned about the adventures of her chosen one, remains absolutely calm, does not arrange interrogations and hysterics, then she does not really need the young man.
3. The guy, unable to withstand the tense situation, will try to call the girl for a frank conversation. If she no longer imagines herself next to him, then she should agree to a conversation to discuss the situation and no longer torment each other.

Experiments will help you find the answer to the question of how to understand that you have stopped loving your man. Then you can move on to specific actions.

Step-by-step instruction

We need to start with awareness of what is happening and acceptance of it. It is important to internally agree that the relationship is over and the couple will no longer be together.

Next you should proceed according to plan:

1. Want to stop loving a girl. This should not happen because the guy broke up with her, but because he really wants to forget this person.
2. Get rid of all things that remind you of her presence in the house.
3. Avoid any contact with her and her environment.
4. Occupy your time in such a way that there is no strength or desire left to think about her.

Step 1: Stop Communication

At this stage, it is important for the guy not to get rid of his feelings for the girl, but to make sure that they do not cause him suffering. To do this, you need to completely stop all communication with her and start working with the subconscious. A man should look at the current situation from the outside, try to imagine that love did not exist, and the shared past is only his fantasy. Self-hypnosis is a powerful thing. You need to tell yourself not “I can’t forget her!”, but “I don’t love her anymore!”, then the guy will really believe that this is true.

READ How to understand that a girl has stopped loving you: the main signs

Meetings with an ex-girlfriend in the company of mutual friends cannot be ruled out. It is better to cancel all such events in the next 3-4 weeks. To forget your beloved girlfriend, and part-time colleague, you should write an application for leave for at least a week. This will allow you to put your thoughts in order and relax mentally.

Step 2: Unfriend her

At the beginning of a relationship, a man in love puts the woman above everyone else. This needs to be fixed. You should clear your message history, remove her from friends on all social networks, and erase her phone number. It would be a good idea to add her to the black list of contacts so that she cannot write anything. If a guy does not dare to take such actions, it is easier to delete his own page. In addition to cutting off the connection, this will reduce the likelihood that he will start spending days on the Internet, monitoring the activity of her profile.

You need to change your SIM card. When sending out new contacts, you must make sure that the number is not given to anyone without the owner’s consent.

Ladies with a sophisticated sense of humor convey messages to their ex-boyfriend through friends, pretending that everything is fine. You should never react to such manipulations. The young lady is just trying to stroke her pride.

Step 3: Eliminate Memories

After a breakup, each person involuntarily replays in his memory the pleasant moments associated with the lost relationship. To prevent this from happening, you need to get rid of everything that can make you think about your ex-lover.

Photos together, forgotten clothes and cosmetics, and personal hygiene items should be thrown into the trash. If there are any gifts left from your friend, then they must be sent there.

READ How to understand that a guy has stopped loving you: signs of behavior

It also wouldn't hurt to clear your computer's memory. Movies to watch together, your favorite music, pictures - all in the basket. It also needs to be cleaned. You shouldn’t get carried away by sad statuses, because the guy is now free, he should take this chance and reboot his life.

Step 4: Communicate More

The hardest thing is to try to forget the woman you loved when you are alone, so it is worth inviting friends to sit in a cheerful company at home. Better yet, get out into nature or go bowling. A strip club would be fine too. A man needs a constant company of positive and interesting people so that he does not become immersed in his emotions. But at the same time, it is advisable to avoid communicating with couples in love, at least at first.

It is better to prefer new or long-forgotten acquaintances to old friends. It would be nice to go to a barbecue with your classmates. This will help avoid the desire to discuss your ex-lover. It is important to plan your time in such a way that in the evening you have neither the strength nor the desire to think about self-flagellation.

Step 5: Find a hobby

A constant routine has a destructive effect on the psyche of even the strongest person, so it’s worth finding an exciting activity and immersing yourself in it completely. You can sign up for training at the gym. The next time the young lady sees the young man, she will be amazed by his excellent physical shape. In addition, sport is very beneficial for physical and mental health.

Passion for extreme sports helps to restore peace of mind. Thanks to the huge amount of adrenaline received, healing a broken heart will be quick and almost painless.

An excellent male antidepressant is car repair. It is enough to buy a car for 15-20 thousand and try to bring it to perfect condition. The desire to think about something else is unlikely to appear.

Step 6: Move Forward

Don't dwell on the past. It's time to build a new interesting life. You can order a tourist package to the sea and sunbathe a little. You shouldn’t refuse attention to pretty girls, because now nothing prevents you from making new acquaintances.

The main thing is to plan your vacation so that it is not connected with previous relationships. There is no need to choose the countries to which the couple was going to travel together. A change of environment has a positive effect on the emotional state of any person.

READ How to survive a breakup with a loved one: advice from a psychologist

What to do

If a girl has realized that she no longer feels anything for her lover, then she does not need to hide an unpleasant fact from him. It is necessary to have an open conversation with your partner to avoid ambiguity in the relationship.

Guide to action:

1. Understand your feelings. It is necessary to reconsider the arguments in favor of separation more than once. If nothing bothers you, then you need to compose a speech with gentle wording. In any case, it will be difficult for your partner to perceive the information, so it is better to soften it with neat phrases. Speak the text for yourself to make sure it is correct.
2. Don't improvise. Before the final conversation, you need to calm down and remember your prepared speech. You should not come up with anything on the fly, otherwise the monologue will become crumpled and it will be difficult to grasp the meaning of the conversation. It is better to stick to the original text, then the partner will understand exactly what the conversation is about and what the reason for the breakup is.
3. Choose a place and time. A girl should not invite her chosen one to visit or go to his home herself. It is advisable to meet on neutral territory, where nothing will remind you of the cloudless days of shared happiness. A small cozy cafe, where young people have never been before, is suitable for conversation.
4. Pre-prepare your lover. Psychologists recommend avoiding hints. It is better for a woman to immediately say that she wants to talk seriously about relationships. You can invite the guy to choose the day and time of the meeting. Before the conversation, you should ask him not to interrupt and allow him to speak to the end.

1. Give detailed answers. A man will definitely want to know the reason for the breakup. The lady should not hide from him what exactly influenced her decision. Avoiding an answer will only make the guy angry. His pride is already wounded, and besides, he cannot get the truth from his loved one. Deception will create complexes, and in the future it will be more difficult for a man to build new relationships.
2. Provide freedom of choice. The man will be stunned when he hears the news. If he wants to leave, then there is no need to interfere with him. Get in the mood for a conversation - you need to answer all questions as honestly as possible, controlling your emotions.
3. Agree on new personal boundaries. Former lovers must decide how they will communicate now. This is especially true for those couples who work or study together.

READ How to forget your ex-girlfriend: a selection of the most effective methods

Going through the entire stage is not easy. But this must be done in order to peacefully part with the person who was recently dearly loved.

How to get a girl back into a relationship without humiliation

You can bring your beloved back. And if you still don’t understand the reason for her leaving, you need to. The return is made not for the sake of restoring the pair, but as a lesson, an attempt to understand how everything really works. When the balance of importance is failed, a strong position and control over the relationship is given to the beloved, only a total change in role positions helps. You can return a girl to a state of falling in love with you, because that’s all she wants - to be in love. Her emotionality will work in your favor if you learn to manage your own feelings.

The breakup of a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks leaves a noticeable mark. Usually in the end there are quarrels, accusations and other negativity, so it is better to bide your time. Human memory actively protects the nervous system: unpleasant memories are erased, and moments of joy become more valuable over time. The pause after a break takes different amounts of time. The signal for the end of the pause will be her first non-aggressive attempt to get in touch: “How are you?” “Help me take the cat to the vet” “I even miss you” or likes on social networks.

How not to behave

A guy, having heard terrible news from his beloved girl, is capable of unexpected actions. He may start screaming, stomping his feet, waving his arms. But the girl should remain calm and not raise her tone. Prohibited actions:

1. Respond to aggression with aggression. Then the break will make two people mortal enemies. It's better to try to avoid this.
2. Be silent. The guy has the right to know why and why he is being abandoned. Therefore, it is necessary to answer all his questions.
3. Blame. It is advisable to gently explain what did not suit you in the relationship. The man is already depressed, there is no need to aggravate this feeling.

You should maintain a good relationship with your ex-lover. This does not mean that people will become friends, but still they will not throw mud at each other.

Before breaking off a relationship, a girl should figure out what is going on in her soul. Perhaps the feelings for your partner have not cooled down, but have only cooled slightly. Then a little shake-up will help bring back your former passion.