5 fears you need to overcome if you're planning to live alone

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All our fears lie in our imagination, because the world is the way we imagine it. As practice has shown, women are more susceptible to fears, because they are more emotional than men. Women are often afraid to be alone at home; they feel like someone is trying to open the front door or looking in through the window. Left alone in the room, they begin to experience discomfort, gradually turning into panic. If the fear takes a mild form, it is easy to cope with it on your own, but sometimes the case can be critical, which is life-threatening and requires the intervention of a specialist.

Trouble has come - close the gate

To start fighting fear, you first need to understand its origin. Psychologists have identified two main types of fear of being alone at home:

• autophobia – fear of loneliness;
• topophobia – fear of indoor spaces.

Let's take a closer look at these concepts.

AUTOPHOBIA is a very common mental disorder. A person suffering from it is terrified of being left alone. It is advisable to treat this disease in the early stages, otherwise there is a danger that the person will commit suicide, unable to cope with fear. According to statistics, it is among autophobes that there is a high percentage of suicides.

The main cause of this phobia is the fear of abandonment. This comes from childhood. Trying to stop the child’s hysteria, the parent declares: “if you don’t stop, I will leave you and go away.” This phrase can leave an indelible mark on a child’s psyche. And in adulthood, a person develops a phobia of loneliness, a fear of being abandoned. Less commonly, the following factors can cause fear: a painful breakup in a relationship, where your partner blames you for the breakup, or the death of a loved one, when the bitterness of loss is already clouding your mind.

It is impossible to give an exact list of reasons for the fear of being alone at home, but let’s try to identify the main ones:

Lack of attention in infancy. The mother had little contact with the child and did not approach him for a long time when he was crying. The less time a child is given in early childhood, the greater the likelihood of developing a phobia of being alone.

Education of personal qualities. The child is left to his own devices. Adults do not pay attention to his psychological state and development.

Alone with myself. The child was often threatened with abandonment (left somewhere, given to an uncle, sent to a boarding school); they were locked alone in a dark room as punishment for wrongdoing.

Bad Company. Lack of attention in the family, the child tries to get it outside, often ending up in a bad environment.

Difficulties of adolescence. Without receiving the necessary moral support and love from their parents during the transition period, children are traumatized for life.

Family issue. Growing up, a person is afraid of not having time to start a family and a child for some reason, and is horrified at the thought of being completely late with this issue.

Misplaced gullibility. Fearing being left alone, a person quickly becomes attached to unreliable people who can take advantage of his gullibility for their own benefit.

Fear of losing a spouse. A person is horrified by the death or betrayal of a close friend, loved one or spouse. Self-esteem problem. Such a problem can cause a lack of contact with others and, as a result, dooms a person to forced loneliness.

Love is gone. A serious breakup, betrayal, deception in a past relationship leaves its mark on a person, forcing him to show distrust to all persons of the opposite sex.

Memory notebook. The hardest thing to forget is the negative events in your life. At the most inopportune moments, our memory likes to throw up memories of fiascos we have experienced, of the mental discomfort of being alone.

Career boom. The desire of today's people to build a career and self-realization leaves practically no space or time for any kind of relationship. This automatically condemns a person to loneliness and forms phobias.

Do not forget that this is by no means a complete list, because there are so many problems. And in some cases, it is generally impossible to accurately determine the cause of the fear of being alone at home. After all, when a person is left at home alone, he remains there along with all his traumas and problems - you cannot run away from yourself. And not everyone is able to cope with them and overcome them without outside help. If you do not provide such a person with timely help, his own home may seem like hell for him.

Causes of the disease at an early age

This is a social phobia, so its origins must be sought in childhood. Mental illnesses tend to carry over into adulthood. Parents should take note that due to their improper upbringing, their child may experience serious mental trauma. The fear of loneliness, the origins of which lie in childhood, is the most difficult to cure.

The main causes of the disease are:

1. Parental inattention. If the baby is often left alone, he will develop a fear that the adults may not return. Words often hurt more than actions, so threats to send a child to an orphanage can harm his mental development. And these thoughts will lead to the fact that he will begin to think that his parents want to get rid of him. Therefore, a child’s fear of being left alone can develop into autophobia.
2. Lack of adaptation to life. Excessive guardianship is also harmful to the child. Because of her, he may never become an independent and mature person. Alone, he will be lost and afraid of this state. This especially threatens families with one child.
3. Lack of self-confidence, which manifests itself at an early age. Children who are susceptible to this character trait are afraid of loneliness almost from birth. Such kids can throw a tantrum if adults leave them for a short time. They can be obsessive when they get older. And all because of the fear of being alone.
4. Teenage problems. The child's psyche is fragile. Problems during growing up can negatively affect a person’s mental state.

Symptoms and manifestations of fear of loneliness

Often such a disorder is almost impossible to determine; from the outside, such behavior may seem quite characteristic of a particular person. But there are still signs by which you can try to identify the disease.

TOPOPHOBIA – this fear is diverse. With this disorder, a person is afraid not of loneliness itself, but specifically of the types of premises in which he is located. People suffering from topophobia are afraid of a certain type of them - dressing rooms, cellars, pantries, boiler rooms, bathrooms. In the advanced phase, a person is afraid of absolutely any premises, even his own home.

The reasons for such fears are more banal than in the previous version. And most likely, the roots go back to childhood. Parents could practice this type of punishment, such as leaving the child alone in a dark room, in a corner; some even put their knees on buckwheat, peas or corn (for more serious offenses). There is an option that, being at home alone, the child could be afraid of something - a sound, a shadow, someone’s voices. There are a lot of options.

More rare, but still possible, are cases where a child could be left alone during a natural disaster (flood, hurricane, earthquake). Here the fear that there is nowhere to wait for help is triggered.

After such experiences, a person, being alone in a room, constantly experiences discomfort, developing into hysteria and panic.

Visual vector: a cocktail of fear and love

At school camp, kids love to tell each other scary stories at night, provoking each other to experience emotions together. Why do some even relatively adult 9-10 year old children, after such entertainment, begin to be afraid to fall asleep without light or be left alone in a city apartment in broad daylight?

As a rule, these are children with a visual vector. Nature has endowed them with special sensitivity. Their fear “sits” closer than that of all other people, so they are the ones who are able to learn to subtly feel another person, recognize his emotions and states.

Their emotions are strong and deep, much stronger than those of other children. And it depends only on upbringing whether a visual child will become a developed, intelligent, sensitive and understanding person or whether he will be anxious, afraid or hysterical for any reason.

If nature has rewarded you with such an enthusiastic and fearful visual miracle, be sure to read how to raise it correctly.

Basic recommendations:

• Do not scold or shame the child for his fears, do not compare with other, more “brave” children. The best thing you can do is give your baby support and confidence.
• Do not scare Baba Yaga, Barmaley, someone else's uncle, Voldemort and other evil spirits. Such children are already the most afraid of all.
• Do not read scary fairy tales or fairy tales where cannibalism is present. These are such fairy tales as “Kolobok”, “The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats”, etc. The child imagines himself in the place of the eaten hero. What do you think it would be like to be eaten?
• Develop in the child compassion and empathy, the ability to understand the feelings of other people. To do this, read compassionate fairy tales and classical literature. Learn to have compassion for animals, and most importantly, for people. By learning to worry about the heroes of works of art, a visual child learns to think about others, understand their feelings, that is, to empathize. In place of fear, love gradually settles inside, in which, as is systematically known, there is no fear.

Chest to embrasure

Any ailment can be treated. All fears can be overcome, and the sooner this is done, the better. There are several options for dealing with it: contact a specialist and undergo a course of treatment, or take measures that will minimize the fear of staying at home alone.

Here are some tips based on psychotherapeutic approaches:

1. At the first manifestations of a phobia, a person needs to realize that it is not always possible to constantly communicate with people. Loneliness is normal.
2. In order not to feel the full weight of this phenomenon, you just need to find something to do - work, a hobby or doing household chores.
3. A visit to a psychologist will help cope with anxiety and prevent it from developing into a more complex disease.
4. You need to find some time for yourself in your life to break out of your daily routine. You can spend it in different ways: go to a store or cafe, meet with friends, visit your family. In addition, this will additionally distract a person from gloomy thoughts about loneliness.

Precautions you can take yourself to improve your well-being:

Trust the instincts of animals. It is believed that animals such as dogs and cats can detect danger in advance due to their keen sense of hearing and smell. Get a pet; in the company of him you will not be so lonely and scared.

Find refuge in a city or village. Find out which zone will make you feel calmer and safer. Each person is individual: some are more comfortable in a noisy metropolis, while others are more comfortable in a guarded suburb.

Take action right away. If fear is associated with otherworldly forces, place amulets in different places in your home. Keep a metal object near your bed: our ancestors believed that metal wards off ghosts. It is believed that scissors under the pillow will get rid of nightmares. Another example is to direct your thoughts to the place that seems to you to be the safest. You can also imagine the places you dream of visiting. These simple methods will help you relax and relieve tension. Well, the simplest solution is to install technical security measures, such as cameras and alarms.

Stay on the same floor. If you have a large house with several floors, it is easier to stay on one of them that is most comfortable for you. When alone, try to minimize the use of stairs and avoid dark corners. Find places in the house where you are not afraid to be alone. One of these places can be the kitchen, cooking is always a distraction and you have a lot of self-defense items at hand. Alternatively, the same frying pan or rolling pin.

Keep yourself busy. To avoid being scared by yourself, find something to do - knitting, embroidery, sewing, any handmade craft that can captivate and distract you. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book, the plot of which will interest you and distract you from negative thoughts and panic. You can also watch a good comedy or another interesting film, the only thing is don’t watch horror films, they will only make the situation worse.

It's easier to prevent than to cure. If something frightens you, do not rush to panic and give free rein to your imagination, you need to educate yourself. Go and check the source of the fear. Most likely, it will turn out to be something quite ordinary - the rustling of leaves, the rustling of a bag, the creaking of wood. If the fear persists, methodically check that all windows and doors in the house are closed. Knowing that everything is closed and no one has gotten inside will bring relief.

How to overcome

It is important to be able to overcome your fear

If the case is serious, psychostimulant therapy and antidepressants may help. In another case, following the advice of a psychologist may be sufficient.

1. Accept loneliness correctly. This is a natural normal process.
2. Get a pet, so someone will always be with you.
3. Try to spend more time for yourself and your loved ones.
4. Decide on a hobby, sign up for a sports section or some kind of club where you can spend time with people in moments when you should be alone.
5. If you are afraid to stay because of a persistent belief in otherworldly forces, purchase special amulets that will help protect your home.

How can a woman avoid loneliness?

To overcome the fear of being alone, a woman must accept the fact that she can be alone. The fight against autophobia must begin with the idea that a person is not obliged to anyone. If a woman does not yet have a second half, this should not frighten her much, since stereotypes should not influence a person. We must realize that relationships with another person consist of care and love, not obligations. If the fight against the disease becomes unbearable, then it is best to consult a psychologist.