Each of us is afraid of something - this is an indisputable fact. Some are characterized by the fear of losing their job, others - fear for their health, fear of possible failures, troubles and even fear of the dark... This list can be continued indefinitely. How to overcome fear, which, apparently, is becoming the norm in the life of a modern person, how to deal with stress?
Exercise one – total relaxation. Fast and effective way. Imagine this situation: you are preparing to take an exam. Or you have to go through an interview. Or the boss calls you “on the carpet”. The pulse quickens, thoughts get confused, but now it is so important to calm down and concentrate... If you have 2 - 3 minutes, you can do the following exercise: Take a comfortable position (sitting, leaning against the wall) and close your eyes. Forget about your fear, drive away all negative thoughts. Take a deep breath. Imagine that there is a light fluff hanging in the air in front of your face, and try to exhale in such a way that the fluff does not even sway. After 3 to 5 cycles of inhalation and exhalation, the pulse will slow down significantly, and you will return to normal.
How fear affects a person
Fear demotivates. Paralyzes. It takes away all your strength and does not allow you to live peacefully, develop, or find pleasure in small joys. What I mean by fear here is not the feeling of adrenaline rush that comes during a parachute jump or watching a good horror movie, but a different kind of fear - a painful feeling that causes insomnia. As they say, ad nauseam. How to overcome this type of fear, an vague fear that can drive you crazy?
A few tips: As a rule, the condition described above occurs when a person is not confident in his strengths, abilities, or in achieving his goals. You can fight fear and uncertainty in the following ways: - self-hypnosis. Give yourself the correct categorical attitude: “Everything will be fine”, “I can handle this”, “Hold on!”, “Forward!”. The main thing is not just to say these phrases to yourself, but to believe in what you say; — break the overall task into smaller stages. If you need to do something grandiose, then outline some plan “first I do this, then I do that”; - Glucose helps overcome the state of anxiety.
Before exams (an important meeting, etc.) a bar of chocolate would be a good idea; - very important! Anxiety is rarely groundless; it usually arises when a person subconsciously tries to get away from a specific problem, to postpone its solution “for later.” Most likely, you yourself know how to overcome fear, you just need to put aside the fear of failure and engage in self-analysis.
What is fear
Doctor of Psychological Sciences E.P. Ilyin in his book “The Psychology of Fear” gives a definition: “Fear is an emotional state that reflects a protective biological reaction of a person or animal when experiencing a real or imaginary danger to health and well-being.”
The feeling of fear is reflected in human behavior. The usual reaction of a person in the face of danger is trembling of the limbs, lower jaw, loss of voice, wide open eyes, raised eyebrows, cringing of the whole body and rapid pulse. Severe forms of expression of fear include increased sweating, urinary incontinence and a hysterical attack.
Emotion is expressed in different ways: some run away from fear, others fall into paralysis, and others show aggression.
Irrational fears and how to deal with them
How to overcome the fear of the unknown, fear of the dark and other irrational horrors that sometimes arise in the human mind? With age, people often forget the horrors of their childhood, the closets are no longer inhabited by monsters, and a hand capable of grabbing our leg will not appear from under the bed. Yet even adults are capable of experiencing irrational fears. This is not necessarily a fear of the dark or imaginary monsters; irrational fears include fear of dogs or panic when talking with a boss.
If you have phobias of this kind in your life, then a simple childish method will help you get rid of them - you need to draw your fear, schematically depict it in the form of a fantastic creature. Then ask yourself the question - what caused this fear, where did it even come from? You can exaggerate the picture somewhat - add a big nose, funny ears, etc. to fear. As a last resort, tear the picture into small pieces.
Do not expect this method to work immediately - it is quite possible that you will have to repeat the procedure several times so that the program is thoroughly imprinted in the subconscious. There is no perfect technique or textbook in nature that will tell you how to overcome fear. People tend to be afraid of certain things - this is a defense mechanism inherent in nature itself. And our task is not to allow fear to completely take over us and turn into a phobia.
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No one is free from fear, it's just that some people experience it more than others. This happens mainly due to innate personality traits and their influence on the degree of our resistance to fears and the ability to cope with them. For example, some individuals are more prone to worry, which constantly fuels their feeling of anxiety. Others will begin to ignore the anxiety, pretending that it does not exist, but fear will begin to creep through their body - insidiously, imperceptibly - and give rise to new fears. There are also those who think that they can do anything - even their fears - if they understand them, work hard, struggle and suffer. This type of personality perceives all this as a path to freedom and a way to prove to himself and others how hard he is trying, which in itself is fear. And finally, there are people who are simply paralyzed by their fear, thereby allowing this emotion to rule their lives. They are afraid to go outside after dark, afraid that they will lose their job, that they will not have time or money, that something bad will happen, that they will not be loved, and even that they will get sick. What these people don't understand is that fear is a prophecy that comes true.
There are six fundamental fears that each of us faces to one degree or another:
1. Fear associated with survival.
2. Fear of the unknown.
3. Fear of abandonment.
4. Fear of betrayal.
5. Fear of rejection.
6. Fear of death.
Interestingly, these fears are the root of many other doubts that we face or create. Take, for example, the fear of change, which is nested in the fear of the unknown; anxiety about financial losses originates in fear for survival; intolerance of loneliness is rooted in the fear of abandonment; health anxiety is associated with fear of death; inability to trust - with fear of betrayal, and so on, and so on.
Another interesting thing about the six types of fear is that they manifest themselves in certain places in the spine and affect certain nerve trunks running through the body and spinal cord. This means that when we experience one of the six fears, it negatively affects our health and the health of the spine.
Physically, fear finds itself in the heart, adrenal glands, reproductive organs and spleen. Due to anxiety caused by fear, the body increases the production of cortisol, a hormone that affects the functioning of the immune system. As a result, we are open to bacterial and viral infections, cancer, autoimmune disorders - AIDS, lupus erythematosus, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and rheumatoid arthritis; asthma, diabetes, digestive problems, degenerative diseases such as multiple sclerosis and musculoskeletal diseases; we become prone to high blood pressure and chronic inflammation of the walls of blood vessels and arteries, increasing the likelihood of heart failure. On a psychological level, fear
becomes a source of phobias, addictions, passive-aggressive behavior and obsessive-compulsive neurosis. Fear also plays a role in the development of paranoid schizophrenia.
The most important thing to remember about this emotion is that it does not go unnoticed by the body. Just the anticipation of something bad can cause the physical effects of fear, and when this happens, the body immediately weakens, experiences stress and emotional suffering. If fear is chronic, it undermines the body's ability to function normally. If fear is experienced suddenly, the fight-or-flight response is instantly activated, which can close the circuit and flood the body with chemicals. In many cases, this can result in a heart attack or even cause death from fright. In general, sooner or later we will have to face our fears if we do not want them to burn our body.
The Harm of Fear
Constant fears, especially when there are a lot of them, depress the nervous system, which affects health. For example, fear of heights or water limits a person, depriving him of the pleasure of extreme sports.
A strong fear of the dark makes a person paranoid and can cause mental illness. The fear of blood will also bring psychological harm, since such a person experiences emotional shock every time he sees a wound. The feeling of danger puts a person into a stupor and he cannot move or speak. Or, conversely, the person will become hysterical and try to run away. In this case, you can run into double danger. For example, a person, having encountered and become frightened by a large animal, will decide to run away or shout at the animal, which will provoke aggression.
Some fears are so great that complexes appear, lack of freedom of choice, cowardice and a desire to stay in the comfort zone. The constant fear of death causes emotional discomfort, directing most thoughts not in anticipation of death.
The benefits of fear - seven reasons
If you attend my trainings and webinars on overcoming stress and fears, and complete all the necessary exercises given, then as a result you will get rid of most of your fears, and the remaining ones will become much weaker.
However, before you do this, I would like to draw your attention to the positive role of fears for a person. At first, superficial glance, fear brings little pleasure to a person - it brings him unpleasant sensations, deprives him of joy, prevents him from doing many pleasant things and can lead to psychosomatic diseases.
But fear, as it turns out, can also be useful. Initially, this emotion arose in the process of evolution in order to protect the human body from all sorts of dangers of primitive life. But then, when man changed nature and built a new habitat around himself, the fear reaction began to malfunction and lead to all sorts of troubles.
Fear, like pain, is the body’s watchdog, which protects it from harmful influences from the outside, from risky actions and danger, thereby helping to maintain health and well-being. Let us analyze the benefit that the body should have initially derived from the reaction of fear, and see in which cases fear is useful for a person, and in which it causes harm to him.
First, fear saves our lives
, stopping in front of a dangerous situation. We don't swim far out to sea, don't stick our fingers in electrical sockets, and try not to walk down dark alleys alone. As the ancient Somali proverb says, “A mother of a coward does not lose her son” - and in this regard, fear is useful for human life and health.
Secondly, fear mobilizes a person’s strength
for vigorous activity
, which is often necessary in a critical situation. Fear dramatically increases physical strength, increases clarity and clarity of thinking. In fear, a person is able to undertake what without fear seems impossible to him. This occurs due to the release of adrenaline into the blood, which improves the supply of oxygen and nutrients to the muscles, which allows them to develop greater power.
Thirdly, fear acts as a regulator of aggressiveness
and serves as an affirmation of social order
. Fear of punishment restrains the manifestations of primary biological aggression, and also keeps many citizens within the bounds of the law. Fear of punishment is the main deterrent for people who intend to harm someone else's property or health. An example of this is the outbreaks of looting and violence that accompany almost any extreme event. One client once confessed to me that while visiting a flea market in Paris, she suddenly had an irresistible desire to steal a figurine she liked from the counter - even though she could afford to buy it. The saleswoman turned away for a minute and... But then she thought about the police, got scared - and saved her good name, and also got rid of possible troubles.
Fourthly, fear contributes to better memory of dangerous or unpleasant events
.
Fear activates memory and makes its traces especially strong.
So, our ancestors remembered places where they were attacked by wild animals or people from a hostile tribe. Another example: a child who gets burned once near an open fire remembers it for a long time. Fifthly, the meaning of fear is the ability to act in conditions of lack of information.
, when it is not enough to make a comprehensively thought-out decision. Then the behavior strategy is dictated by fear. If the brain does not know what to do in a critical situation, and the mind does not have a balanced and logic-tested recipe, then the body prefers to trust the age-old experience of instincts and emotions.
Another, sixth positive role of fear is the aggravation under its influence of all human senses.
, which allows you to see or even anticipate the smallest signs of danger. Polish psychotherapist A. Kempinski wrote about this: “Sometimes in some people one can observe the ability to predict an impending danger: in the picture of reality there is nothing that could indicate it, but, nevertheless, anxiety appears, which is accompanied in a dream or in reality by the picture approaching misfortune. In this case, subthreshold stimuli that do not penetrate consciousness can signal an impending danger.”
Another, seventh, positive meaning of fear is that through overcoming it, human improvement can occur
.
As Fritz Riemann wrote, “if we understand our painful fear also as an indication of the need to look for errors in our own behavior or as a fear of new demands of life, as a result of which we do not dare to take a new step in our development, we must accept and understand it as an invitation to enter a new stage of our development, as a call for new freedom and, at the same time, for a new order and new responsibility. In this sense, we must view fear in its positive, creative aspect, as an initiator of change." For example, since childhood I was afraid of heights, because I once climbed a tall poplar tree and for a long time could not get down from there. And as a result, to get rid of this fear, I jumped with a parachute - after which my self-esteem increased.
So, dear subscribers, if you intend to completely get rid of your fears, think - maybe you will keep for yourself a small amount of this faithful guard who protects your life, health and property? After all, we won’t kill an inappropriately barking dog, whose only fault is that it is too zealously guarding its owner’s property?
