Dissociation: a protective mechanism of the psyche and a means of psychotherapy

What do we know about split personality?

Multiple personality syndrome became known to science several centuries ago. With this disorder, the patient feels not one, but two or more personalities at once. Moreover, each of them is characterized by its own behavior, temperament, worldview, and in some cases even memory. Research has proven that people with dissociative identity disorder have increased blood pressure in the brain region, as well as an increased heart rate. Therefore, if you do not start treating a psychological illness in time, then not only the patient’s close people, but also his body may suffer.

According to the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), dissociative identity disorder occurs in women approximately 8 times more often than in men. Especially if they were abused at an early age. However, only an incompetent psychiatrist would claim that men are completely protected from the dissociation of personality disorder. In fact, everything depends for the most part not on the gender of the patient, but on the circumstances experienced. A person cannot be born with such a disease, since he acquires it in the process of socialization. As a rule, most often the disease begins to manifest itself in adolescence, but in some cases, individual symptoms can also be observed in children.

Of course, the reasons why personality dissociation occurs remain completely unknown. Although in fairness it is worth noting that a similar trend is observed in almost all mental illnesses. There are a huge number of theories and hypotheses that speak about the occurrence of personality disorder. However, none of them can be universal, since psychological diseases are always associated with the patient’s character traits. All people are different, therefore the emotions caused by one or another event in life will also be very ambiguous.

On the way to dissociation and back to wholeness

On the way to and from dissociation

Nancy McWilliams, in her wonderful Psychoanalytic Diagnostics, describes dissociative personality (multiple personality) in a separate chapter, unfortunately, quite briefly. And she examines examples of deep dissociations, when a person, having switched to another state, might not remember or know about other aspects of his Self.

A.E. Lichko writes about an unstable personality type, in which traits of other types appear, and about a mixed personality type:

“From the previous discussion it is clear that mixed types are quite common and very diverse. According to our data, they represent almost half of the cases of obvious character accentuations and more than half of the cases of psychopathy. However, it seems to us inappropriate to separate mixed types into a separate group of “mixes”, “mosaic” (Guryeva V.A., Gindikin V.Ya., 1980). In diagnosis, it is important not just to state that in this case the features of different types are combined, but the features of which particular types are included in this combination. This is important in relation to measures to correct behavior, prevent decompensations and reactive states, and for the selection of psychotherapeutic approaches. Medical and pedagogical programs for such “mosaics”, for example, as epileptoid-hysteroid, labile-sensitive and hyperthymic-unstable, should be completely different.” (Psychopathy and character accentuations in adolescents, p. 93)

Next, he considers possible options for mosaic personalities, focusing on:

- compatible directions of character (accentuation),

- when a person with one core, due to trauma or a sharp change in circumstances, is forced to form a different personality, of a different orientation.

And it displays a diagram of compatibility and transformation of psychopathy and character accentuations.

There are two points of view: that a multiple personality has several (two or more) independent nuclei (equal personalities) and that there is a core personality, and the remaining accentuations are a consequence of merging with new formations in moments of forced dissociation.

Of course, we will also be pleased with the most interesting theoretical studies and brilliant concepts, but I want to bring to your attention notes and reflections on practical issues of working with clients that arise today and now.

I believe that the number of people with dissociative identity disorder will increase exponentially in the coming years due to changes in social reality. Dissociation, the creation of a multiple personality structure, may seem like an excellent response to a social context that is chaotic, aggressive, and contradictory in its demands and values.

It seems that each time has its own leading psychotype of personal structure!

It's time to invite into our conversation a fictional client, Saddy, whose basic personality structure is a dissociative variant.

There are people whose dissociation is deep, and they do not remember themselves at those moments in time when they were controlled by other personalities.

There is a debatable point here whether this is really so, or is it something like hysterical amnesia.

One way or another, most people do not trust them that they really do not remember and do not control their switches. And such distrust leads to the fact that they find themselves in a situation of constant stress and tension, and what is sad is that their connection with reality (confidence in their ability to adequately test it) is called into question (by them and those around them).

Taking into account the risk of iatrogenicity of other impressionable people, in order to avoid what Jerome K. Jerome aptly described in Troy in a boat without counting a dog, where the impressionable hero read a medical reference book:

“So I conscientiously went through all the letters of the alphabet, and the only disease that I did not find in myself was puerperal fever.

At first I was even offended: there was something offensive in it. Why is it that I suddenly don’t have childbed fever?”

The topic of problems and solutions for people with multiple personality types is “slightly hushed up.”

That is, there is no direct taboo, but there is a background attitude like: “maybe the tooth doesn’t hurt? Maybe it just seems to me that it will go away on its own if you don’t touch it?”

As if it were possible to invent and artificially create one of the most complex defenses in the psyche, and as if if you don’t talk about it, then the problem will not appear.

So, there are quite a few people with such deep dissociation who really do not remember switching their states, even to the point of losing periods of time from their memory.

And my interest is not directed at them, but at those who are closer to the spectrum of “borderline personality organization - neurotic personality organization.”

So, the fictional client Saddy comes to the fictional psychologist Frol Evpatievich.

He comes with an ordinary life problem, in a state where it becomes extremely difficult to cope on his own.

Most often she comes in one of her charming incarnations. This could be narcissistic charm. This could be a hysterical (demonstrative) “entry into therapy.” Or a “conscious victim” (moral masochist), maybe a “responsible OCD personality type.”

The first few consultations are going suspiciously well, too correctly or something. And so it continues exactly until the moment when the psychologist does, speaks, breathes or is silent something that leads to the fact that some of the hidden quasi-personalities (no longer subpersonalities, but not yet separate personalities) in the depths of the soul Saddy gets hurt or rejected or whatever.

I'll try to explain what the trap is.

Saddy, due to very different life experiences, and due to the characteristics of her psyche (as a rule, Saddy is very smart, sensitive and energy-intensive, very attractive for others with her complexity, subtlety and depth, strength and dynamics), Saddy, like a multi-headed dragon, has several quasi-personalities,

With different needs and desires,

Different values

Different attitudes towards her, towards others and towards the world,

With different experiences

And as a consequence,

Depending on which part of Seddie’s ego is syntonic (felt and experienced by her as herself), she reacts.

For example,

Saddy 1, the schizoid part, subtle, deep, observant, would like a slow, very careful rapprochement in contact. Long and painstaking work. And she is not going to trust Frol Evpatievich in the next 8 months.

Seddie 2, the demonstrative part, longs for Frol’s love, provokes him, tries to seduce-and-reject him, acts out his experience as a girl-and-father.

Saddy 3, adult part, healthy, adequate, wants to work. Determine the goals of therapy, understand what is happening, get real results.

Saddy 4, the queen of narcissists, idealizes the psychologist for the first three meetings, literally falls in love with him, but on the fourth she devalues ​​him without receiving the desired admiration (and at that moment Saddy 1 was “on the surface”, and Frol Evpatievich, empathetic in contact, slowly and carefully communicated in safe for Seddie 1 style).

And so on.

Often such a person finds himself in the following situation:

Deadlock-explosion-hysteria (or somatic, depending on where the impulse goes).

Due to what?

Something in external contact seemed “tasty” or “dangerous” to several quasi-personalities, they try to actualize themselves at the same time, and the person falls into strong emotional experiences, at the same time he has a stupor, and he cannot cope with what is happening, a rather painful thing.

A bundle of feelings, often strong and painful, confused thoughts due to their speed and “everyone and at once” want to be thought, at the end we get a dissociation “that’s it, I’m responding”, I’m stupid, I don’t understand anything, or, more often, I want, I feel it, but I can’t say it, I can’t.

The tasks of a psychologist in working with a client with multiple personality:

1. Borders

Multiple personalities have blurred boundaries. One state spontaneously transforms into another.

Multiple personality once arose one-time, or several situations arose when dissociation (temporary rejection of the Self and its hiding in the recesses of the soul, and the creation of another, reliable personality) turned out to be the only survival strategy for this particular person with the capabilities of his psyche.

The psychologist needs to create very clear (clear, transparent) boundaries.

The rules of work (where, when, how, how much it costs, how often contact can be made, etc.) must be clear and must be followed by the psychologist very consistently.

But!

And this is an important point.

Boundaries that are too rigid will result in some Seddies getting hurt by them and some Seddies tearing them down (acting out past traumatic experiences).

If we turn to the image, this is not a cage for helping a wounded animal, but also not a boundless jungle, but a rehabilitation zone in a nature reserve. There is enough freedom, and there are clear boundaries - rules.

1. Proximity and distance

Often (almost always) in the experience of a dissociative personality there were episodes:

- psychological trauma,

- early breakup of close significant relationships,

- sexual seduction of a child,

- physical violence (beatings) is the least common,

— psychological violence (long-term exposure to stress, fear, demolition of the child’s developing personality and the creation of a certain “correct model”)

- encouraging and maintaining the dependent, passive and giving part of the personality, through manipulation, guilt and shame,

- an unbearable burden in the sense of the child’s hyper-responsibility for the family or the complete exclusion of the child’s responsibility for anything,

- ignoring part of the personality (part is accepted, the rest are rejected, ignored), devaluation, hypercriticism.

If the psychologist gets closer slowly, gradually establishing contact, then Saddy will either idealize him and fall in love, or run away in the literal sense of the word, or, what happens more often, will “talk through consultations” - without being involved in them, and at some point will be forced either devalue them, or idealize the psychologist and get the necessary help on the outside (on your own, in books, and from other people).

If the psychologist forces contact, or is decisive enough (authoritarian, harsh, etc.), then Seddie will either go into an aggressive confrontation with him (and will lick his wounds again with someone and somewhere else), or will become injured and withdrawn and will run away.

If the psychologist is very supportive and empathetic, then parts of Saddy will be drawn to him, but due to the trauma in the past and the experience gained, the rest will become actualized even more (there will be something like an “emotional break”).

In my opinion, a psychologist can and should remain stable and be himself a little more than with other clients.

A psychologist who is stable as a person, as a personality, becomes that “beacon” - an anchor in relation to which he can begin to explore himself, and then harmonize the client with a dissociative personality type.

Usually (often) if the choice of a psychologist is not made within the framework of acting out a trauma (when a choice error is made and a person ends up with someone similar to the aggressor from childhood), but from the healing internal impulse of the client, then people with multiple personality structures are drawn to (choose and trust) psychologists who are stable (confident, strong) – and – at the same time, quite warm and emotional.

So, proximity and distance are regulated mainly by the client - how much approach, trust, saturation, discovery, distance is tolerable for him.

The psychologist remains consistently himself (consistent in his realized self).

1. Focuses of work

– stable contact and contract and clarity

If you agree and if you go all the way, you will definitely come to a good result. A lot of resources are a big plus for this personality structure.

- important! See everyone. Give space to everyone.

- then, when clarity appeared, we got acquainted, work is carried out with each quasi-personality separately (who is more relevant, who is ready to manifest themselves).

At the same time, what is needed (how he could help himself and his partner-psychologist) from the client is an understanding that if someone inside is “rejected” or “hungry” and so on, then

A. we definitely need to talk about it

B. understand (and tell yourself this, support) that your turn will come, Saddy 1, 2, ...5

1. Tools

What and how to work?

In each specific case, you need to choose tools that are convenient for the client and the psychologist: for the right hemisphere and for the left.

The work should alternate - through images and metaphors, then through the body and common sense (rationality).

And again and again, until the client finds and collects all the parts of himself into a single harmonious personality.

When choosing tools: we tried cards. Did it go? Yes, hurray! If not, we remove the cards, take out paints, and so on.

It's the same with the ratio part. Cognitive needs must be sufficiently saturated. It helps clients well to keep diaries, which the psychologist reads, and then takes some of them into work.

1. Semantic part

When something happened in Saddy's life and she had to create Saddy 2, 3, etc., and

Become her

Her new personality chose an adaptive system of values ​​and goals in life, and for some time was the main one, the leader.

And therefore, when “suddenly” it turns out that there are other “captains”, the ship may experience a strong internal conflict.

To simplify, Saddy 1 is a coward, does not eat meat and dreams of feeding and clothing all the poor in the world. Saddy 1 wants to work with a psychologist lightly, for a couple of years, and for the psychologist to be an attentive, kind Mom-Dad for little Saddy 1.

And Saddy 3 is very brave, arrogant, the main thing for her is money, and she considers beggars to be weaklings and pathetic freeloaders. And she needs a clear visible result.

The real Saddy in the now becomes the support here, but very slowly, gradually, step by step.

And at the same time intensively, so that the dynamics are felt by the client himself (and it is largely the client’s task to regulate the intensity here, since what he shows outside and what happens inside him during the first third of the journey can be very different).

From a very rich, varied mosaic, the client collects himself, piece by piece, his harmonious personality, giving space in memory and integrating into his structure those parts that were once separated by him in order to survive, cope with life and win.

What is characteristic of personality dissociation?

If you want to understand the causes of any disease, then first you need to make sure that the diagnosis was made correctly. To do this, it is necessary to compare the patient’s behavior with what is written in the psychological literature. For example, dissociative syndrome is characterized by the manifestation of different personalities. In most cases, they do not show themselves simultaneously, but in turn, replacing each other, depending on a particular situation. Here are some more features of dual personality that are typical for most patients suffering from this illness:

• complete isolation of memory, that is, individuals know nothing about each other;
• signs of an upcoming personality change - discomfort, pressure, nausea;
• the presence of circumstances under which individuals show themselves to the environment.

And these are just the main signs. As mentioned earlier, the disease can manifest itself completely differently in different patients. For example, some people realize that they are sick and can even control the process of releasing personalities, causing certain emotions within themselves that contribute to the manifestation of a particular personality. Others have no idea that several personalities are concentrated within them. They do not notice anything unusual in their behavior and continue to live as if nothing had happened. One day they can behave sincerely and responsively with loved ones, and the next - deceitful and selfish.

Symptoms of dissociation

Problems with identity or sense of self

Most people with dissociative disorder do not come to therapy with identity complaints. Instead, they seek help for other problems, such as depression, anxiety, sleep problems, or relationship problems. But they also experience strange and frightening symptoms that don't make sense, and which often lead them to believe they are “crazy.” They often have difficulty describing these inner experiences and cannot share them unless asked because they are ashamed. In fact, these symptoms are usually associated with a disavowal of the influence of other parts of the personality or self. Over time, people become more aware of their dissociative symptoms and this is due to a desire to feel more comfortable.

One of the main symptoms of dissociation is a feeling of involuntariness, that is, the person is aware of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, memories and events, etc., but these experiences do not seem to belong to him or her. This is a kind of “not me” feeling. Some people have the feeling that there is “more than one person” in them. Or there are different "voices" or personalities, some of which may have a name, age, and other characteristics that differ from the person's experience, his or her core personality.

Each dissociative part of the personality has an individual view of itself, others and the world, often with a variety of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are different from the other parts, even if very limited. As a result, people with dissociative disorder can be very confused about who they really are and what they think, feel, do, desire, or experience in their body.

Dissociative personality parts are not actually separate identities or personalities in the same body. Rather, they are separate parts of the self that do not yet function together.

Too few worries

Some dissociative symptoms include the apparent loss of some experience that should have been there. So you feel “too little.” For example, you may have amnesia, loss of memory of important events or segments of your life. Or perhaps you may suddenly lose skills or knowledge that are a natural part of your life, such as the ability to manage a car or money. Typically, people with dissociations report that they suddenly cannot feel emotions or sensations in their body: they become emotionally or physically numb. These losses are not permanent and are not associated with medical diagnoses such as dementia. They are caused by the activities of other parts of the personality, which are quite isolated.

These losses are only “apparent”. Experiences that have become inaccessible to you may be available to another part of you. You may not remember being afraid as a child, but another part of you feels fear or terror whenever similar situations arise. While you may experience few feelings, another part of you may experience too many feelings.

Dissociative amnesia (memory loss)

Every person has amnesia for most of their life before the age of 3 due to brain immaturity. Often people may not remember too much about their preschool years. Of course, no one remembers everything that happened to him. Every person has a degree of normal forgetfulness and memory distortion. But in general, people should have fairly consistent memories of their lives and major life events from the time they start primary school, enough to be able to talk coherently about themselves.

Amnesia goes far beyond ordinary forgetfulness. It involves severe memory problems that are not caused by illness or extreme fatigue, alcohol or other mind-altering substances; it is not normal forgetfulness. Amnesia in this case is periodic. People with dissociative disorder may remember some aspects of an event but not other important aspects. In some cases, events are entirely inaccessible to conscious recall. There have been cases where people can have amnesia for longer periods of time. For example, a person cannot remember anything from the fifth grade or from the age of 9-12 years.

People can have amnesia not only for the past, but also for the present. This “loss of time” is a characteristic symptom of multiple (or dissociative) personality disorder. People can find themselves in a place and have no idea how they got there. Or there are hours or even days when they don't know what they were doing.

Dissociation as alienation from oneself or one's body (depersonalization)

Many people commonly experience temporary forms of depersonalization when tired or stressed. This is a common symptom in many mental disorders. Disconnection from emotions may occur; people feel that they exist solely “in their heads”; as if they were dead inside; or "wrapped in cotton"; or feel like "cardboard" and "one-dimensional". They feel unreal, as if they do not exist and have no control over their actions. Some people also report that they feel like they are robotic and act on “autopilot.”

Refusal or detachment from one's environment (derealization)

Derealization is when your environment or the people around you seem unreal. For example, your own home may seem unfamiliar, strange, or unreal, as if it belongs to you. Or a person you know well may seem strange and unfamiliar.

Too many worries

Dissociative intrusions are those symptoms that occur when one dissociative part intrudes into the experience of another. Intrusions may be in the form of memories, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, ideas, desires, needs, or behaviors. This is why so many different symptoms have a dissociative basis.

Possible dissociative intrusions include memories of the past, traumatic events. These can be sudden feelings, thoughts, impulses or behaviors that come “out of nowhere.” This may be unexplained pain or other sensations that have no known medical cause. The feeling of being physically controlled by someone else or by other forces beyond your control. You may hear voices commenting, arguing, criticizing, crying, or in the background. These may be strong internal experiences that do not seem to be yours. This experience occurs when the dissociative part enters conscious awareness. This introduces you to some aspects of what that part of you is experiencing.

Source: Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart “Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation”

Help from a psychologist with trauma and dissociation

Causes of Personality Disorders

Before looking at real-life examples of dissociative identity disorder, we strongly recommend that you familiarize yourself with the most common causes of this disease. Of course, mental illnesses are very difficult to pin down, but it is still possible to identify some things in common between different patients. For example, the causes of this disease:

• violence of a sexual nature, physical or moral;
• severe mental trauma received at a young age or in childhood;
• inability to withstand stressful situations and depression;
• severe life shocks (war, disaster, death, etc.);
• abuse of tobacco, alcohol and other bad habits;
• consequences of the use of various psychotropic drugs;
• suffered brain injuries.

As you can see, there can be quite a few reasons. Split or dissociation of personality is the separation of one’s inner “I” into several independent parts. If a person has suffered such an illness, this does not mean that he has ceased to be himself. Each of us has such personalities, but they are always in the aggregate and create the concept of our own “I”. In mentally ill people, they are separated from each other and live their own lives. Most often, this is what frightens the family and friends of the person who has contracted this disease.

Causes of dissociation

Dissociation is a special state in psychology when at different moments in life a person’s behavior is determined not by his personality, but by a number of others based in the consciousness of the same individual. Experts have every reason to believe that this disorder does not arise without reason, on its own, but is necessarily preceded by certain factors that give it a start.

These factors include:

• mental trauma received in early adolescence or childhood;

  

• existing episodes of sexual violence against a person;
• natural inability to withstand stress and depression;
• serious life difficulties and shocks;
• the presence of harmful bad habits;
• long-term use of various types of psychotropics;
• brain injuries.

As you can see, there are many factors that can become a trigger for the development of dissociative behavior.

Types of diseases

Psychologists distinguish the following types of dissociative disorders: nonspecific, extensive, generalized, simple. However, in our article we will consider this phenomenon in the general case, since going into details will be quite long and not very interesting.

Multiple dissociative identity disorder also deserves special attention. This is an advanced phase of the disease, in which the patient can be possessed by up to 10 different personalities. As a general rule, the smarter and more versatile a person is, the more personalities they will exhibit.

It is worth noting once again that in each case the disease manifests itself differently. In some patients, these individuals behave quite calmly and do not attract personal attention to themselves, while in others they show fanaticism or even aggression towards others.

Examples

There are many examples of dissociation in humans, from normal to pathological. The most striking example is multiple (dissociative) personality disorder , or simply split personality.

In this case, when experiencing a traumatic experience, the brain creates a “second personality”, the purpose of which is precisely to take on this very experience (so that the “main personality” remains safe).

One of the manifestations of “normal” dissociation is the distortion of unpleasant fragments of memories, the suggestion to yourself that the situation had nothing to do with you (did not happen to you), etc.

Fine

Normal dissociation (or in other words adaptive) is considered the first reaction of a person to stress or severe emotional shock .

When a situation requires composure and you need to “pull yourself together,” which a person may not be ready for, the brain dissociates.

In this way, a person is given the opportunity to temporarily distance himself from emotions, evaluate his own actions from the outside and make a rational decision.

This mechanism is useful in some cases. However, using dissociation too often has negative consequences (mainly affecting a person’s relationship with society).

Thus, people with hypersensitivity dissociate in any situations that require emotional involvement. Due to this, they often find it difficult to establish relationships with other people.

Constant dissociation reduces empathy, and the ability to evaluate the emotional side of what is happening disappears . This, in turn, leads to isolation and isolation of the individual.

People who have experienced violence or trauma in childhood, when the psyche is especially susceptible, are prone to constant dissociation.

You can find a list of books on cognitive behavioral therapy on our website.

Pathological

With constant dissociations, a person’s mental health is disrupted.

Dissociative disorders may develop.

According to research, 98% of people develop them in the first years of life or at a young age.

The child dissociates when experiencing a painful experience. Emotional contact with one of the parents (usually the mother) can return him to a normal state. If he does not receive proper care, temporary dissociation turns into permanent.

Whether this will develop into a mental disorder or not depends on the individual: whether he has a natural predisposition to disorders, whether sensitivity is high, how long the traumatic experience lasted, etc.

How to deal with dissociation using tapping? Emotional Freedom Method :

Read about the stages of child cognitive development here.

Signs of dissociative disorder

Symptoms and signs of personality dissociation may not appear for years, but for an observant psychoanalyst it will not be difficult to identify the disease at the formative stage. It all starts with a banal change in a person’s mood and changes in behavior. The patient may want to do something that is contrary to his usual way of life. For example, quite often patients feel like a man in one image, and a woman in another. Accordingly, the signs of the disease in this case will be very characteristic.

However, it also happens that personalities begin to appear gradually, without causing drastic changes in the patient’s life. At the initial stage there may be no more than two, so even an experienced psychiatrist will not be able to diagnose the disease. However, over time, more and more personalities will appear. If they appear with a certain frequency, then the patient’s relatives and friends may notice the changes too late, when the disease is practically incurable.

Although it is worth noting that with the dissociation of a personality disorder, a person does not lose his original worldview, and all personalities are an addition to the main one. Very often, patients even come to their senses for a fairly long period of time, but a sharp change in mood can provoke dissociative syndrome again, after which personalities will manifest themselves in all their glory.

Is it possible to live with such a disease? In most cases, yes. However, everything is strictly individual. It is worth realizing whether your personalities have a detrimental effect on society or, on the contrary, they help you deal with difficulties in difficult life situations. However, we should not forget that such a disease is characterized by problems with the physical condition of the body. A striking example is high blood pressure, which can trigger the development of more serious diseases.

Types of dissociative deviations

Diagnoses included in ICD-10:

1. Dissociative amnesia (F44). A disorder in which the patient loses memories of certain fragments of life (usually unpleasant). At the same time, the ability to perceive new information is preserved. Severity ranges from mild (loss of some memories) to severe (profound amnesia). Memory loss is usually sudden, and the patient is aware of it, but consciousness is not impaired.
2. Dissociative fugue (F44.1). Comes from the Latin “fuga” - “flight”. The patient purposefully moves to a new place and loses all memories of his past life, including forgetting his biography and name. He can come up with new ones, find another job and still not know that he is sick. The cause of a dissociative fugue can be a serious trauma experienced by a person or a difficult life situation. This way the brain creates protection and disconnects from problems.

Typically, a dissociative fugue lasts several hours or months, and after its end the patient remembers his past life, but forgets everything that happened during the fugue.

3. State of trance and possession (F44.3). The trance state is a connection between the conscious and unconscious states, accompanied by the activity of certain brain waves (especially beta).
   When a person goes into a trance purposefully, it is called meditation; in other cases it is implicated in dissociative mental disorders. Obsession is the complete subordination of a person’s will to some desire or thought (obsession with an idea). From a scientific point of view, it is associated with self-hypnosis. In both cases, the ICD-10 classifies the disorder as “loss of self as a person.” Also: dissociative movement disorders, convulsions, loss of sensory perception, depersonalization of personality, etc.
4. Dissociative identity disorder (F44.81). A less common disorder in which a person’s personality is divided into two or more (so-called subpersonalities appear). Switching occurs between personalities, that is, at certain moments they replace each other in consciousness. Moreover, they can be of different gender and age, race, character, level of intelligence, etc. As a rule, one of the personalities cannot remember what happened while the other was active.
   It is the most extreme manifestation of dissociation. It usually occurs in early childhood due to experiences of violence and severe stress.

   Symptoms combine dissociative amnesia, fugue, depersonalization, etc. For a long time, the existence of this disorder was questioned.

Dissociative disorder is a split personality disorder. About the causes and methods of treatment in this video:

Diagnosis of mental illness

Bipolar personality disorder, or personality dissociation, is extremely difficult to diagnose, especially in the initial stages of the disease. However, in psychology you can still find some criteria that allow you to diagnose a psychological disorder. The list below lists only the main ones.

1. The patient is visited from time to time by different personalities (two or more). As a rule, they have their own age, gender and even outlook on life, which naturally influences their behavior.
2. Personalities replace each other one by one and only according to a conditioned signal (they are different for each personality). If such a signal does not occur, the patient will be in his usual state.
3. A person does not remember anything about those moments when he was in the presence of some individuals. This sign unconditionally indicates the presence of a mental disorder, but it may not exist at all.
4. Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs often cause personality changes. That is, bad habits turn out to be a certain signal for him, such as severe stress or pleasure.

If at least one of these criteria is met, then we can already talk about the patient’s personality disorder. However, other, more individual features that characterize a personality disorder may also be present. In this case, only a psychotherapist with extensive experience working with such patients can diagnose such a disease.

Many novice specialists very often confuse personality disorder with a form of schizophrenia, when the patient communicates with himself and hears voices in his head. It is worth understanding the main difference between these diseases: with personality dissociation syndrome, a person knows nothing about what is happening with his personalities at the moment of their appearance, and with schizophrenia, memory loss is never observed (only if it is not accompanied by some other disease).

Dissociation in life

After I have deliberately scared you, I want to talk about the dissociations present in the lives of mentally healthy people, or - in psychological terms - neurotics, which are the majority of people on the planet. It must be said that dissociation is a protective mechanism of the psyche that turns on when a person cannot cope with the situation in which he finds himself. This may be a long-term traumatic situation or shock trauma that a person cannot accept and integrate into his own psyche. The most traumatic situations that have a strong impact on human development , of course, arise in early childhood, when the child cannot cope with severe stress on his own and does not have proper parental support, but such situations can also arise in adulthood. These are local stressful situations or long-term traumatic situations, from which a person more often does not want than cannot leave due to secondary benefits. If the human psyche cannot cope, then the dissociation mechanism is activated. A person can fall into a trance state, can create in his head another alternative situation that is more acceptable to him, place his ideas, thoughts, emotions there, and experience them instead of reality. Naturally, this process occurs unconsciously. In very stressful situations (such as various disasters, death of loved ones, etc.), psychogenic amnesia may occur - in simple terms, a person does not want to realize or admit what happened and may not remember an event or an entire part of life. There are many options for the manifestation of dissociation, and even in the most complex cases, its manifestation cannot always be clearly called a mental illness. Most people are healthy from a psychiatric point of view. But I'm interested in the process from a psychological point of view. What happens to the psyche and personality in reality from the point of view of psychology? Contrary to some everyday opinions (“maybe it’s easier for him this way”, “it’s better not to worry”, “let it be”) there is nothing good in dissociation, since this process does not stand still and can aggravate a person’s mental state, further distancing him from reality. At the same time, the person suffers unknowingly. In conscious life, this can manifest itself in nightmares, somatic diseases, antisocial behavior, and the use of various psychoactive substances. This is often justified by the person himself and society: “he had a difficult childhood,” “this happened to him,” etc. The worst thing in this situation is that a person does not live at this time, but exists, since he cannot fully experience his current, real life due to unexperienced past traumas.

Dissociation is a natural process of the psyche that helps to survive in a stressful situation when a person does not have enough resources to engage emotionally, and I want you to be left with an understanding of this. Dissociation turns into pathology if this defense process is used constantly as a behavioral pattern.

In addition, dissociation is sometimes necessary for us, and to some extent we encounter it in everyday life. Dissociation can occur in a trance state, when a person does something mechanically - for example, goes half asleep to work, falls asleep, or, conversely, tries to keep himself awake in order to finish watching an interesting movie, thinks or meditates.

Can the disorder be identified using a test?

Association and dissociation with one's own personality are easily tested using various psychological tests. This procedure involves a series of questions that the doctor asks the patient. These questions relate to various social moments in the patient's life, for example, his relationships with peers in adolescence and childhood. Also, a psychologist can find out his worldview or attitude to various life situations. Here is a list of the most common questions that a specialist asks a patient:

• Do you often use other people for your own gain?
• Have you ever lied to other people? If so, how serious?
• Do you like to risk your life or engage in dangerous sports?
• Do you think your actions may cause concern to others?
• Is it difficult for you to work in a new team or are you a loner?
• How often do you feel guilty about your actions?
• Do you think you experience peer pressure?
• Do you have hallucinations or problems sleeping?

As for the last point, it deserves special attention. Sleep disorder and personality dissociation are inextricably linked. As a rule, most patients who suffer from multiple personality disorder have sleep problems to a greater or lesser extent. Insomnia can be caused by various thoughts or nightmares that come to the patient at night. Although it should be noted that such a symptom allows one to accurately diagnose a personality disorder.

Dissociation and Association

Association and dissociation are two opposing processes. With association, a person is involved in some situation, with dissociation, he is detached. Our memories can be either associated or dissociated. Moreover, we ourselves can choose what they will be. This technique is used by psychotherapists. The more involved in something (association), the more acutely you feel a certain situation, a specific emotional state. The less you are involved in some memories (dissociation), the easier it is for you to objectively analyze the situation and learn a lesson from it.

Dissociation and association are two forms of perception of external information. With association, we actively participate in the analysis of the situation, realize it, comprehend it, and experience it. For example, when watching films, many people are completely immersed in the picture and feel what is happening for themselves. With dissociation, a person analyzes the situation from the outside, look at it from the outside, and not from the inside.

In life, we regularly choose one or another type of perception. If a person becomes fixated on one type, then this is an alarming signal. This indicates rigidity of consciousness.

Getting stuck in a state of association leads to victimization of thinking. A person takes everything to heart and plays the role of a victim. Being stuck in a state of dissociation leads to emotional coldness. The individual becomes unable to enjoy life and his successes. He can't show empathy.

Being stuck in one of the states puts a person at risk for chemical dependency. Alcohol and drugs help you “switch.” The individual quickly recognizes this and uses this method as “treatment”.

Being stuck in a state of dissociation leads to emotional coldness. The individual becomes unable to enjoy life and his successes.

Personality Disorder Symptoms

Signs of dissociative identity disorder can be very diverse, depending on the individual characteristics of the patient. However, identifying the disease at an early stage can be very important. Therefore, the patient’s family is strongly advised to pay attention to the following symptoms of personality dissociation:

• amnesia – the patient may forget important dates from his personal life;
• memory lapses - the patient does not remember how he ended up in a particular place;
• the appearance of various things in the house, the origin of which no one knows;
• forgetfulness – the patient increasingly forgets the names of unfamiliar people;
• the presence in the house of various notes written by the patient’s hand;
• the appearance of a feeling that the patient lives in a completely different world;
• a feeling of the unreality of everything that is happening.

In addition, we should not forget about the symptoms of those diseases that often accompany a personality disorder, such as depression. A depressive state is almost always characterized by symptoms such as suicidal tendencies, panic attacks, hallucinations, phobias, and so on. However, the symptoms should not be confused with paranoia or schizophrenia, since the causes of dissociative identity disorder most often lie in childhood trauma, and schizophrenia can be inherited.

Signs

• feeling as if the situation did not happen to you;
• distortions of memories;
• the belief that the feelings you are experiencing do not belong to you;
• the belief that your feelings are independent and do not depend on you;
• physical malaise: headaches, possible pain in parts of the body;
• memory loss, even amnesia;
• loss of sensation and/or understanding of reality;
• in severe cases - a feeling of leaving the body, separation of consciousness from it; as if you are looking at yourself from the outside.

In addition, with dissociation, a person may hear inner voices (conversations of his personalities) and have suicidal tendencies.

Treatment of psychological disorder

Now you know about the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder. However, this knowledge will not be enough to cure the patient. For this purpose, we recommend that you familiarize yourself with this paragraph, which provides several effective examples of how to treat a patient suffering from a personality disorder.

So, in almost all cases, treatment comes down to a combination of two types: the use of potent drugs and psychotherapy. It is worth noting that only a qualified specialist with sufficient experience can conduct psychotherapy. If you give such a task to a novice psychotherapist who has never encountered dissociative disorders, he may harm the patient.

For the treatment of dissociative identity disorder, tranquilizers are usually used, in addition to antidepressants. Such a “mixture” is made to make it easier to calm down the patient’s increased activity in the phase of manifestation of a particular personality, as well as relieve depression. As a rule, it is depressive states that become inseparable companions of patients during various mental illnesses. However, extreme caution should be exercised when using potent drugs, since even the slightest error in dosage can lead to side effects or cause addiction. Almost always, such a drug is issued strictly according to a doctor’s prescription.

Quite often, specialists use hypnosis in the treatment of personality disorders. Indeed, in most cases it will show good results, since with the help of hypnosis you can not only remove unpleasant memories from childhood that contributed to the development of the disease, but also completely eliminate alternative manifestations of personality. Of course, all this is only possible if the specialist really has good skills in this area.

To prevent a mental disorder from moving into a chronic stage, from which it is almost impossible to remove the patient, it is necessary to devote a sufficiently long time to its treatment. In particularly advanced cases, such a course lasts about 5 years or even more. To do this, a specialist can use one or combine several of the following methods:

• use of medications, tranquilizers, antidepressants;
• use of various methods of psychotherapy (dynamic, cognitive);
• therapy based on identified symptoms associated with this disease;
• the use of hypnosis for therapeutic purposes.

And these were just the main directions that a novice specialist needs to keep in mind. In each case, the treatment of a mental disorder is strictly individual, so not all methods may be equally useful, and some of them may even harm the patient. Since in the history of treatment of personality disorders it is impossible to find even two identical cases, the complex of drug treatment and psychotherapeutic measures should be correctly adjusted.

Concept

Dissociation is a psychological mechanism consisting in a person’s desire to perceive a situation as if it were happening not to him, but to someone else.

The brain dissociates, protecting the psyche from strong emotional shocks.

The shocks themselves can be both negative (experienced trauma, unpleasant memories) and positive (overly strong positive emotions causing distress and exhaustion).

Dissociation protects us from blows to the psyche, because... there is confidence that we are absent in this situation. The mind divides and edits memories. Original mental images remain in the subconscious and can emerge in memory if a certain association is triggered.

In everyday life, dissociation can be useful and manifest itself in ordinary situations. For example, if you need to evaluate your outfit or behavior from the outside.

In the 19th century, French psychologist Pierre Janet introduced the term “dissociation” (from the Latin dissociatio - “separation, separation”), discovering that some of a person’s ideas can exist outside of his consciousness. However, this idea can be brought back into consciousness through hypnosis.

About dissociation as a mental defense mechanism in this video:

What ideas does cognitive psychology examine? Find out about this from our article.

Disease prevention

In addition to the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder, it is also necessary to know the rules for preventing this mental illness, since the complexity of treatment often depends on proper prevention. If it is possible to identify a patient’s predisposition to multiple personalities at an early stage of the disease, it will be possible to stop the progression of the disease or completely rid the patient of it. Based on the practice of psychologists, the following rules of prevention can be identified:

• timely consultation with a doctor if even the slightest symptoms are detected;
• periodic visits to a psychotherapist even after healing from an illness;
• giving up alcoholic beverages, tobacco use and other bad habits;
• avoidance of stressful situations and manifestations of negative emotions.

In addition, if you have already contacted a specialist for help, then you should be sure to follow all his instructions, since this is also a kind of preventive measure. If a psychotherapist advised you to find some activity that will be able to distract you from pressing problems, then be sure to follow his advice. If you treat your disease irresponsibly, you will not be able to avoid complications.

Technique “Changing the Past”

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Phrase.

Another way to use association - dissociation is to change the way you perceive the past. There is a good way to ruin your life - remember all situations associated with unpleasant experiences in association, and vice versa with pleasant ones. I guarantee you that life will become completely unbearable.

Although it may also be quite emotionally intense. With adrenaline, so to speak.

By the way, there are people who do just that. They take a piece of the past, quickly dissociate from all pleasant experiences, but then plunge into suffering with complete dedication. After this process, any current troubles will seem like sheer nonsense - when such a pile of all sorts of abomination is propped up behind you. This makes a certain sense. Well, especially if the task is to ruin your life as much as possible and help others do the same.

— Wouldn’t it be that if you dissociate from unpleasant experiences, then the experience is lost? And a person steps on the same rake again and again?

Experience is not lost - here it is. Watch as much as you want. Dissociation is precisely what allows us to organize our experience so that it can be used. When looking from the outside, we can more balancedly assess our own and others’ behavior, draw conclusions, and so on. And there are usually enough unpleasant experiences right on the spot - I don’t see the point of getting into them every time I need to remember something. It's as if, in order to get the necessary reference book, you first need to walk over burning coals. This, of course, will help reveal your character and confirm the importance of the information... If anyone decides. Most likely, it will simply discourage any desire to climb there at all.

But I don’t want to have such a library at home.

The issue is training. I made conclusions, learned – the work is finished. Naturally, if a person is so stupid that he does not study, then life will throw problems at him. Until he learns: you can’t come here. But it is usually extremely difficult to learn from bad experiences while inside. It’s bad inside, but when I come out, I don’t want to think about it anymore. Until you get into the same abomination again. I want to get away from unpleasant experiences. How to think about an event if it is associated with an uncomfortable experience? this every time

I don't really want to. So they just try not to think. But the problem will not go away - if nothing is changed, the same situation will happen in the same situation.

A visitor with a suitcase approaches an Odessa resident: “Tell me, if I walk along this street, will there be a train station there?” - You know, he will be there, even if you don’t go there!

Usually, when people talk about experience, it means that a person learned something from events. I changed something in myself, in my behavior.

Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.

Dissociation is what helps create experience.

, perceive problematic situations more balancedly and less emotionally.

Demonstration

Trainer: - A little exercise. Who had a difficult childhood... or adolescence, or adulthood? Ira.

Did you have a “bad” childhood, or maybe your life was “damaged” in another period?

Client: - It's more like adolescence.

T: - Okay. But before we start changing the way you think about adolescence, let's do the following. Remember some of your most pleasant states. And one by one: you take a pleasant state - bring it to the maximum - clench your right hand into a fist - unclench it - get out of the state. And so with all states. It is desirable that there be at least 5 of them.

K: - I took “calmness”, “happiness”, “pleasant relaxation”, “respect” and “humor”.

T: - Great. Now do the following - imagine on the floor a piece of the time line that corresponds to your “adolescence.” Take small pieces of paper. Remember more or less significant events of this period, write the name of the situation on a piece of paper and put it on the time line.

K: - Should the leaves be in order on the line?

Even more than that, it is desirable that the distance between them be proportional to the time interval between them.

K: - I did.

T: - Okay. Now do the following - walk along the time line and sort these situations: leave those that you consider “pleasant” on the time line, and move those that you consider “unpleasant” to the side.

K: — Move to the right or left?

T: -As you want. Moreover, some can be moved to the right, others to the left.

K: Yes, I did it.

T: - Now do the following - mentally step off the time line to the right and go through all these pleasant situations. This can be quite quickly, just live through all these pleasant events, experiencing the same emotions and feelings again. Take as much time as you need.

K: - Yes!

T: - Wonderful. And now you can walk along the time line again, but you will be on it, and those situations that you placed on the side will be for you in the form of films about Ira in these situations. You can zoom in or out on the screens on which this movie is shown to you, make them more or less vague, turn them into photographs or, conversely, into a movie. If you move or move the screen, it is advisable to move or move the pieces of paper with the names of these situations to the same distance. But remember that you are on a timeline, and events are only showing you. If it is still too unpleasant for you to look at these situations even from the outside, use your positive anchor - clench your right hand into a fist. Likewise, take as much time as you need for it.

K: Yes, I did that too.

T: - Wonderful. Now walk along the time line several more times, reliving “pleasant” situations from the inside and observing “unpleasant” ones from the outside. In the same way, you can make the “pleasant” ones even more pleasant, and move the “unpleasant” ones further or closer. In short, you can play with all these situations, both “pleasant” and “unpleasant,” making them brighter or darker, more or less vague, and so on.

In addition, you can leave “pleasant” situations and look at them from the outside, and enter “unpleasant” situations and experience them from the inside. Now we are building, first of all, a “typical” idea of ​​the situations of this period.

K: - Why should I go back into “unpleasant” situations?

T: - This is your opportunity. Suddenly you want to feel this situation from the inside. We are now not so much setting a new “correct” perception of situations as creating opportunities to perceive both individual situations and entire sections of the past as you see fit. Adding elections.

K: - Oh-oh-oh!

T: - What happened?

K: — At first it seemed to me that I simply didn’t have anything good at that age. And now it seems to me that there were even more pleasant events. And many situations that previously seemed unpleasant to me - I looked at them - they even seemed to become pleasant. I placed them on the timeline. And a lot of things are simply still remembered. It turns out it was a good time.

T: - Ira, think about it. Couldn’t such a new perception of this part of your past somehow harm you?

K: - I think not.

T: - And the last thing. Ira, look at your future. What will change there in connection with this work?

K: - It seems to me that I will be more cheerful. And more confident.

T: - Wonderful. Did you like how it turned out?

K: Yes, thank you!

T: - What have we done now? We simply changed our perspective on experience. Ira became associated with pleasant experiences and dissociated from unpleasant ones. It doesn't happen that everything is completely bad. Or everything is fine. The only question is how we perceive it. Here we taught Ira to perceive pleasant events associatively, and unpleasant ones - dissociated. The truth is only on one piece of her life. But the same can be done for other pieces, or for the whole life... It will just take a little more time.

Questions

— Do you have to do this technique with pieces of paper?

Not necessary. Basically, you can do everything in your own head. But with pieces of paper and spatial anchors it usually works out better. When we walk along a timeline, write and move papers, we use the body to a much greater extent than if we just do it all in our head.

As an option: you can do this technique (but with different areas of life) with pieces of paper on the floor and only in your head - and compare the results.

— How necessary is a resource anchor?

Highly desirable. In some cases, dissociation alone may not be enough - then use resource anchors.

— What if this resource anchor is not enough?

Take a break, break the state and find more resources.

- Do the first and last situations need to be pleasant?

In principle, you can do this, but, in my opinion, it is not terribly important. This option is useful, for example, when a person has only “unpleasant” situations at the end of the period. Make them pleasant.

—Where do you get pleasant situations?

Let him look. It could be something not too important, but really pleasant: I ate deliciously, slept well, stood in a hot shower, bought a funny trinket...

Step by step

Period.

Identify a period of time that you perceive as “problematic,” “difficult,” or “unpleasant.” It can only be associated with a certain person, place, etc. For example, “work in such and such a relationship with Alexey,” etc.

Resource anchor.

Give yourself a fairly powerful positive kinesthetic resource anchor.

Time line.

Imagine the selected time period of life as a line on the floor. Write on pieces of paper the names of significant situations of this period and arrange them on the time line in chronological order.

Sorting.

Walk along the time line, noting which situations you rate as “pleasant” and which ones as “unpleasant.” At the same time, leave the pieces of paper with the names of “pleasant” situations in their places, and move the pieces of paper with the names of “unpleasant” situations to the side.

Now walk along the time line again, reliving “pleasant” situations in association, and placing “unpleasant” ones next to the time line in the form of screens with a dissociated (that is, you see yourself from the outside) picture of what was happening. You can also move these screens to the distance that you consider most optimal for perceiving the situation. At the same time, it is also advisable to move the pieces of paper with the names of these situations to a similar distance.

When working with “negative” situations, you can use the resource anchor from step 2.

It is quite possible that after some changes, some situations will cease to be “unpleasant” and even become “pleasant”. In this case, pieces of paper with their names can be returned back to the time line.

Reliving.

Physically walk along the time line, reliving pleasant situations and looking at screens with “unpleasant” situations. Change what you think needs to be changed.

Environmental audit.

Consider whether this perception of your past will harm you. If it can cause harm, go back to step 4.

Link to the future.

What did you get as a result of this technique? Look into your future - what has changed there?

Exercise “Changing the Past”

In pairs: Client, Operator

.

Operator

helps
the Client
go through the “Changing the Past” procedure.

30 min.

You can also associate with another person. When we associate with another, we see with his eyes and hear with his ears. And we use its values.

• In the three-position description model, the association in the other is called the “second position.” Accordingly, association into oneself is the “first position”

Association with another is a very effective way to model someone else's behavior and values. This can be useful if you want to understand his point of view from the inside. For example, “association in another” in various variations is a basic skill in many acting schools. The actor “gets into character” and begins to behave like a completely different person.

But “association into another” is also a useful communication skill. Moreover, it is quite common in our culture. Have you heard the phrases:

— Take my place.

- Look at the situation through my eyes.

- Look at all this from my point of view.

- Take his point of view.

This is practically a description of the strategies of getting used to it. Just some are more kinesthetic: “stand in place”, some are more visual: “look through his eyes.” But the meaning remains the same - to model another person.

• There are several approaches to human modeling. One of them is analytical, left-hemisphere: to disassemble other people's behavior into pieces and identify patterns. The second is synthetic, right-hemisphere: create a general image of this person. And “association into another” is simply a way to access this model.

“Association in another” can also be used for adjustment.

What children should be protected from

According to psychology, dissociative identity disorder almost always begins to form at an early age, so if you want to protect your children from this disease, it is highly recommended that you follow the tips that will be given in this section.

Maintaining a healthy psychological climate in the family is the main task of any parent. If you do not vaccinate your child against the flu on time, he or she may not become infected with it. However, with constant quarrels and scandals in the family, the child will almost certainly experience nervous insanity. In addition, there is no vaccine or cure for such a disease (all medications only dull the symptoms). Therefore, parents are obliged not to sort things out in front of the child, especially in high tones.

Alcohol or drug addiction destroys millions of individuals around the world. However, the worst thing is when a similar symptom is observed in children. Unfortunately, you are unlikely to be able to completely protect your child from the harmful influences of the world. However, you must teach him that cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are evil that he should not even touch. If you do find your teenager drunk, then you should not shout at him or even hit him. Try to communicate in calm tones, but you still need to punish the child.

Particular attention should be paid to the factor of violence against children, since it has increasingly become forgotten in recent years. If you look at real-life examples, dissociative identity disorder most often occurs in the context of child abuse. The fact that mental illness occurs in childhood is scientifically proven, so any parent should avoid assault for the educational purposes of their child. In addition, it is necessary to regularly take an interest in the child’s life at school in order to know about his relationships with peers and intervene if necessary.

Legalized child labor is still used in third world countries. Fortunately, in Russia, an employer can go to jail if he hires a child as an employee in his enterprise. However, this rule is very often neglected by parents of children, especially in rural areas. Of course, no one is saying that a child should not perform his duties around the house, but remember that hard work can lead to mental disturbances in the child’s body, especially if it is done regularly.

According to statistics, 98% of patients say that in childhood or adolescence they experienced violence or bullying from peers. Girls can even succumb to such a disease after committing violent acts of a sexual nature. Therefore, any parent is obliged to protect their child from the negative influence of the modern world. This must be done not only in order to prevent the development of mental illness, but also according to the moral and ethical principles formed by modern society. Parents should make every effort to ensure that their children grow up in love and safety.

Dissociation: norm and pathology

It is customary to distinguish between normative and pathological dissociation. In the first case, we are talking about a natural defensive reaction to stress, shock, and unpleasant experiences. Dissociation normally occurs in difficult situations, where a person is required to maintain composure, restraint, and rationality, but he cannot consciously pull himself together. Then an unconscious process is activated - a protective mechanism of the psyche. As a result, a person gains an advantage over the situation, can soberly assess it and make a rational decision. In this case, dissociation can be seen as a means of adaptation rather than as a defense mechanism.

In the pathological form, a person dissociates in any emotional situations, and not just in difficult life circumstances. Such people are called thick-skinned, indifferent, cold, callous, unemotional. They exclude any negativity, refuse to resolve conflicts, and are not ready for productive social interaction. This behavior can lead to isolation.

Unconscious adjustment

The method of adjustment, which is usually first taught in NLP, is quite analytical: you analyze a person’s behavior into elements: posture, voice, breathing, movements, rhythm, channel of perception, type of motivation -

and borrow them into your behavior. After some training, the skill becomes unconscious. But usually the adjustment to each pattern needs to be trained separately. And train long enough.

There is another way of tuning - synthetic. It is very simple and, at the same time, very complex. Simple because here you are not required to consciously control the process: you simply give yourself a task and allow yourself to complete it. And it’s difficult because some people find it very difficult to do – to let themselves go. Our consciousness is very powerful and quite often afraid of losing control.

The method of giving a command is quite classic, described in folklore and various acting trainings: “association into another.” We will use a more visual option: getting into character. That is, you need to create an image of the person you want to adapt to, and then “enter” it or “put it on yourself.”

• We have already talked about this - people often describe their internal processes and strategies in speech. All these “take my place”, “look at the world through my eyes” are most often nothing more than a verbalization of how exactly a this
  , his internal strategy. Most often, he himself does not realize what he is doing in this particular case, what is happening inside him. But language is a tricky thing...

It is advisable to create an image that is as clear and sharp as possible that you can create.

• This doesn't mean it has to be clear and sharp.
  For some people, internal images are almost always blurry, but even a blurry image can be made clearer and sharper.

And then you “enter” it. And after that you “let go” of yourself. Listen carefully to your own body. How it wants to move, how it wants to speak, what words. Allow him to do this. Your task is to hold the image, and the body itself decides how best to achieve a state of rapport. It is advisable to walk around, move around, and talk.

This step is usually only required during the skill training phase. Then it will all become completely automatic: I decided inside that it was time to adapt - and the posture changed, and the voice.

• The second option is that you don’t move anywhere, but you “put on the image” like a suit. But in the variant with entry, at first it works better. Therefore, I usually recommend “getting in” first, and then only practice “putting on.”

The funny thing is that the adjustment does not happen so “demonstratively”. The posture has changed a little, the voice has changed a little, the breathing has changed a little. But here it is - rapport!

“But if it’s so simple, why do we need conscious adjustment at all?”

There are several reasons for this.

Firstly, entering into an image is still a metaphor. Command to the unconscious. And if there is no skill, it may not actually fully understand what is actually required of it. And in this version, everything that was previously trained is simply launched.

Secondly, awareness gives control. And understanding. And the opportunity to correct something. You can work with feedback, monitor and change your behavior. In the unconscious version there is no such thing - you give a command and watch how it is carried out. If it is poorly executed, it is not entirely clear what to actually do about it. If you know how to work consciously, you simply go into conscious control mode and correct it.

And thirdly, there is also, as I call it, the “wife and mother-in-law” rule. It consists in the fact that you get a mother-in-law to your wife (and a mother-in-law to your husband). The meaning is that the unconscious takes and reads a person’s state as a whole, without filtering. With all the delights, groans, problems, pressures and sores. And the better you get into his state, the more you take from a person. In the conscious version, you can still filter and, to a certain extent, control the process. And in the unconscious version it flows spontaneously. And if the sample has a runny nose... What if it’s worse?

• Although, of course, this is not entirely true. With certain experience and “unconscious adjustment”, you can control the degree of getting used to the image of another and filter out unecological patterns of behavior. For example, by changing the image that you “put on yourself.”

So unconscious adjustment works well only as an additional skill to already existing conscious skills. Otherwise, you would just get another very effective, dangerous and uncontrollable skill. I wouldn't consider this a sufficiently eco-friendly gift.

Step by step.

Image.

First, you create a visual image of the person you want to adapt to. Try to make it as clear and sharp as possible.

• This doesn't mean it has to be clear and sharp, just that you make it the best you can for yourself.

You can even do this: close your eyes, create an image, and then compare it with the original. Correct it, and then compare it again. You can do this several times until it is similar enough.

Get into character.

Now you just need to get into this image. Step into it. Completely physical. And let yourself go. Allow your body to do what it sees fit. But based on the image. You can even walk around and talk a little to make sure that you are already a little different.