The relationship between a man and a woman has been and will be one of the most important topics in this life. It is so arranged by nature that men cannot live without women, and women cannot live without men. But despite the importance of these relationships, for some reason we are not taught how to build them correctly. This topic is not seriously considered either at school or in other educational institutions. It seems to be of secondary importance for most people. However, because of this lack of seriousness towards this topic, it is sometimes very difficult for both men and women to build good, long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with each other. What can I say, about eighty percent of all problems with which people turn to me for help are related specifically to the relationship between a man and a woman. This is not little, you will agree. Therefore, let's thoroughly understand this topic.
To begin with, let's think about it - where, how and from whom do we learn to build relationships with the opposite sex and with people in general? We learn this from the people around us, mainly from our parents, or from those who replace them. It is these people, by their example, who teach us how to treat other people, how to behave correctly with them, how to solve problems that arise in relationships with them. Roughly speaking, if your parents set a bad example for you - they constantly quarrel with each other, engage in assault against each other, then most likely you will not have to expect good manners from you. It is also clear that we, again, learn about men and women from the people around us, both from their words and from their own example. If from childhood we are surrounded by alcoholic men, as well as women of easy virtue, without self-esteem, then it will seem to us that all men are drunks, and all women are easily accessible and can be treated like a thing. Bad examples are generally contagious, and when they still have no alternative, in the form of other, more correct and worthy examples, then a person begins to consider these bad examples as exemplary and the only true ones.
In connection with the above, we conclude that without a correct understanding of people, it is impossible to build at least some competent relationships with them. Men are different and women are different, and when it comes to relationships between them, we must understand that there is no single correct model of behavior with different people. Each person needs his own approach, no matter whether we are talking about a man or a woman. All people have their own characteristics that must be taken into account when building relationships with them. Let's say you are a woman, and you know about men only what you were able to learn about them through communication with some of them, that is, thanks to your experience of communicating with those men who surrounded and are surrounding you. And suppose that you were surrounded by not the best men - liars, tyrants, degenerates. How will you build your relationships with future men? You will see in every man a liar, a tyrant, a degenerate, that is, someone you have an idea about. This means that you will treat all men as liars, tyrants and degenerates. With a high degree of probability this will be exactly the case. That is, your past experience of communicating with men will make itself felt. How will men react to this? It's clear that it's not very good. And normal men will completely bypass you, because they have absolutely no use for such an attitude towards themselves, they do not want their beloved woman to see them as a liar, a tyrant and a degenerate, and treat them accordingly. This is why many men prefer to build serious relationships with decent women from good families; they do not want to have problems with inadequate women who have mental disorders due to a negative past. And women are often drawn to men whom they know about and whom they understand, even if they are not the best men. Let's say, if a woman's father was an alcoholic, then there is a high probability that her husband will also be an alcoholic. With men, who know about women exactly as much as they know about them thanks to their life experience, things are the same. They are also drawn to those they understand.
So, from the above it follows that if you want to have the best relationships with the opposite sex, rethink your life experience. If you are a woman, find out what men are like in this life, what their characteristics are, what their behavior is, how certain men treat women and what kind of attitude they expect towards themselves. If you are a man, find out the same about women. You must know what kind of people there are in this world, not only through your life experience, which is not rich enough to teach you everything you need to know about people, but also through knowledge about them. And if you treat all men or all women with the same brush, then your relationships with them will be monotonous. Know how to distinguish people from each other and learn to adapt to the best of them if you are interested in normal relationships with normal people.
In general, of course, the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is not a simple thing, so its analysis can be reduced to a few simple rules of behavior with the opposite sex, which should be followed when building these relationships. People who are too different in character and temperament can get along with each other, or try to get along, so that all the subtleties of their relationship can be foreseen and they can be given universal advice for all occasions. But it is always necessary to take into account the most important points in such relationships. Let's see what these moments are.
The needs of a man and a woman in a relationship
Both men and women need to understand each other’s needs and strive to satisfy them. A woman should understand what a man needs and try to give it to him, and a man should try to satisfy the woman’s needs. In some cases this is not easy to do, but it is necessary to strive for it. That is, this should not happen when everyone owes each other and no one owes anything to anyone, when everyone lives for themselves and does not think about their partner. And even more so, it shouldn’t happen when a man and a woman try to impose a lot of obligations on each other and insist on fulfilling them. If a man and a woman decide to parasitize each other, they will not be able to have any normal relationship. But there will be plenty of scandals, quarrels and mutual accusations. So you shouldn’t even try to build something with this approach to relationships. You either change and stop being selfish, selfish, or be content with those relationships in which you simply cannot live comfortably. So, take a close look at your partner's goals and desires to understand what he or she wants from you and what you should expect from him or her. It is quite possible that in addition to basic needs, your man or your woman needs a lot more from you. And think carefully about your goals and desires so as not to demand too much from your partner, but try to get from him only what you really need. Now I’m not talking about the desires and dreams of a man and a woman, which we need to try to satisfy, because people have an infinite number of desires, and it is impossible to satisfy them all. But be sure to think about each other’s normal, natural needs - think about how to satisfy them. Let not all your expectations from the relationship be met, but if you are a smart person - a smart woman or a smart man, you will not make excessive demands on your partner. But I repeat once again - the minimum needs of people must be satisfied! Otherwise, there is little point in having a serious relationship. A serious relationship is a responsibility, and not everyone is ready to take on it. And if people do not want to take responsibility for each other and do not plan to do something for each other, then their relationships will be fragile, unstable, and generally meaningless. Why build a relationship with a person if you are not going to do anything for him, and if you expect from him what he or she cannot give you? In this case, you can do without a serious relationship. To satisfy the same need for sex, a relationship is, in principle, optional. Well, as for other needs, to satisfy which men and women build relationships with each other, they will be discussed below.
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Today, instead of discussing bad relationships, let's talk about what an ideal relationship should be like. We spend too much time talking about how to recognize a person who is not cut out for a stable relationship. It is important to understand that there are actually many signs of defining this type of personality.
Firstly, I believe that we must clearly define for ourselves who we need, and, having found such a person, immediately understand that it is him. Secondly, each of us must have our own image of an ideal relationship, determine for ourselves what needs to be done to make it such, and move together with our partner in this direction. So today, instead of discussing bad relationships, let's talk about what an ideal relationship should be: 1. You respect each other's differences and use them to your advantage. The best analogy, in my opinion, is a sports analogy. Each team has members with different abilities. Some are better at serving, others at running speed, but with unity of action, a truly better result is obtained. Also in relationships. Both partners must understand that each of them has advantages that the other does not have, and only in unity can you complement each other. Only in its unity does the team always win. 2. You are arguing. No, not often and not rudely. But, if a dispute arises between you, it means that each of you has your own opinion, while you have enough strength to argue your position. And that's great! The absence of arguments can only indicate a possible secrecy of feelings, a lack of 100% honesty when expressing one’s opinion. Silence and holding back your emotions in order to maintain peace often leads to misunderstandings and even break-ups. 3. Headlong into the pool. Relationships are not measured by time periods. Either you are in a relationship or there is nothing between you. Ideally, both partners should be fully committed to their relationship, strengthening it through life's challenges and working to create a unified team. 4. You stop hiding your shortcomings. There are no perfect people. If you deliberately hide your shortcomings, play a role that is unusual for yourself, or put on a mask in front of your partner, he will not be able to reveal your true essence. Normal relationships are built on openness. If there are feelings between you, you will be loved and appreciated along with all the flaws and shortcomings. 5. You discuss the topic of sex. Communication is the key to building happy, healthy relationships. An intimate topic should be discussed first, because both partners should feel satisfied. Understand that between adults who love each other, there should be no forbidden topics. 6. You know how to be silent together. Have you ever been in the same room and enjoyed silence? In this case, there is no awkwardness, you feel good together, you only enjoy each other’s company. It's so important to be together in silence sometimes. 7. You maintain your individuality. Let's return to the sports analogy of the first point. If you constantly try to serve like a pitcher, you gradually lose your role in the team as you try to become like the other player. Also in relationships. You must understand that in any relationship you must remain yourself. You shouldn’t be like someone else, you shouldn’t become a victim of the situation. Unnecessary self-sacrifice will turn you into a doormat. You will not become happier, and moreover, you will not dare to tell your partner that you want more. 8. You respect each other's privacy. Yes, you are a team, one whole, you live by the motto: “Everything that is mine is yours, everything that is yours is mine.” This is wonderful. But don’t forget that you are also two different people, each of whom has the right to a certain privacy that deserves respect. This doesn't mean spying on each other or checking phone messages. The exception is when a good reason was given for this. Otherwise, do not abuse trust, and your relationship will be perfect. 9. You trust each other. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Without trust, you will not be able to calmly let your partner go to meet friends or even to work. Such relationships will gradually collapse until you break up. 10. No prohibited topics. Often, misunderstandings arise between people living together that require discussion. If you avoid difficult conversations so as not to offend a loved one, this will entail unnecessary unspokenness and lead to tension in your relationship. Try to calmly and respectfully explain your position and feelings. 11. You accept each other's past. Each of us has a past. When discovering a person, you should respect and understand his past. By refusing to listen to the life story of a loved one, you thereby show your unwillingness to accept him as he was and is now. In a normal relationship, all topics should be open for discussion. At the same time, it is important to understand that only the present is important, and the past will forever remain only in the past. 12. You support each other in everything. Regardless of whether you share each other's aspirations, it is very important to provide support in all endeavors. Caring for a loved one manifests itself in this. At the same time, you can either simply be nearby or help in every possible way in achieving your goal. After all, your partner’s happiness depends on it. 13. You continue to maintain and strengthen your relationship even after a long period of living together. True relationships do not require giving back for what is received; they are built on the principle of “give and give.” It is very important to accept and appreciate what you receive in a relationship, and even more important to give the same amount of attention and care to your partner. Stopping the use of this principle dooms the relationship to failure. 14. You are always open, honest and direct with each other. Open and honest communication within the framework of mutual understanding of each other is the key to successful and promising relationships. 15. You want to improve yourself without losing your individuality. This is a clear sign of a healthy relationship. No one should be allowed to change themselves. You yourself must want, you must have an incentive to improve, both for yourself and for my partner. As Mark Twain said: “Stay away from people who try to diminish your ambitions. Little people always do this, unlike the really great ones who can make you feel like you can be that person too.”
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Communication
One of the basic human needs is the need for communication. Therefore, be sure to pay attention to communication with each other when you build a relationship with the opposite sex. Without communication, a person is not a person. Communication between a man and a woman should be frequent and deep, and it should exist at all. Very often, people simply do not notice each other from the moment they begin to live together, not to mention any intense communication with the help of which a man and a woman maintain interest in each other. Understand the main thing - communication is necessary for a person. And it’s better if your woman or your man communicates with you and not with other people. Communication will bring you closer, and its absence will distance you from each other. Even if you have different interests and different views on life in some ways, it’s okay, you should still find something in common that is interesting for both of you, and communicate on this topic. I recommend that women yield to a man in this matter, find something interesting for themselves in his interests, and communicate with him on this topic as often as possible. So communication is like sex - if it is there, and it is normal, then everything will be fine with the relationship, but if it is not there, expect problems.
What should a normal relationship be like?
In no case do I want to offend anyone, especially since different opinions are important, but I will allow myself to speak out:
A relationship that has a chance of being long-term does not have to be complicated by definition. Well, how long can a person fuck the brains of himself and others non-stop? Well, six months, a year, in especially advanced cases - a couple of years. And then he fucks everyone completely and the audience leaves the auditorium in mournful silence, leaving the hero alone to sweat on stage under the heat of the spotlights.
The so-called complex relationships, all this coming and going and many hours of conversations about lofty things - this, sorry, is due to too much free time. This is a Wrong Relationship. Seriously. It's like if you come to a car dealership and kick ass at a Bentley, although your funds, at best, are enough for a down payment on an ass in the basic configuration. You can come to this salon for years, but all that shines for you is an ass. You will say that a Bentley is the only thing that suits you, you will peck the skull of all your family and friends, you will make a sad face and wring your hands, you will ruin your life, you will fetishize suffering, but you will never think that all you need is a tough, reliable workhorse with working air conditioning, a clean interior, and the right tires to get you from point A to point B.
Relationships should be as simple as two pennies . It doesn’t matter whether he’s a genius physicist or a simple Vasya the milling machine operator, it doesn’t matter what kind of education he has, how many languages he speaks, how many women he’s had and whether he writes good poetry, the only important thing is how comfortable you are with him. If he makes you depressed, if you feel no less bad with him than without him, if you know that nothing will happen to you with him, if he fucks your brain instead of fucking your body, if he loves all these phrases “I’m not ready” or “we need to wait” or “I need to think” or “this is so difficult”, send him to hell... Whether you really loved him or it was just a whim - you will understand only much later, so you have absolutely nothing to lose.
Love is generally an indefinable state; lust, respect, habit, envy, the desire to get even, and much more are often mistaken for love. You gain nothing from a “difficult” relationship except headaches . If you need her, it’s a headache, if you can’t live without her, find the courage to admit that you don’t need this particular man, but the headache that you get with him. And learn to take the headache out of a more productive relationship, just warn the p-r-a-v-i-l-l-n-o-g-o man that on Wednesdays and Saturdays you are a real bitch, let him prepare in advance.
Once again and again: relationships should be simple. After all, you have to give birth to children with this person, run the household, make plans, go to visit, communicate with relatives and generally lead the most primitive, philistine way of life. And if you think that this cup will pass from you, you are very much mistaken.
How does that happen? At first we need a tall-slim-handsome-smart-rich-perspective-sexy-romantic-son-of-a-bitch , and only much later do we understand - we ALL understand - that we just need a person we can rely on, who will be there at the wrong time , fuck, when it clicked correctly in his head. And always. Always, you know? Therefore, reliability is an extremely important quality.
He can help you in the MOST difficult moments of life, when it’s a complete ass, and a step to the right, a step to the left - screws. Therefore, responsibility is also an extremely important quality.
You will want to share with him joy and sadness, victories and defeats, dreams and fears, so the ability to empathize is absolutely darn important.
You will study him inside and out, you will understand each other perfectly, you will eventually rub against each other like gears sharpened on a super-mega-extra-machine, you will continue to quarrel and make peace, because he is still not you , this is a different person, although he is tailored to you just as much as you are to him, so tolerance is simply not possible without it.
And you will constantly give up a part of yourself to each other, bit by bit biting off your bachelor habits, this is a fashionable word nowadays - compromise, so flexibility is also very, very important.
And you will make important decisions, together and separately, decisions that are quite capable of changing your current way of life, so without trust - well, just not at all.
Think about it, when you were twenty, you didn’t think about anything, right? You wanted him to dash up to you in a super car, give you flowers and kiss you so beautifully right on the lips. And so that you admire his fucking beautiful eyes and generally look like in the picture. So, in reality, all this is not important at all. It doesn’t matter whether he is handsome or not, tall or short, slender or plump, a talker or a stutterer, all you need from him is the realization that with this person you will go through fire, water, copper pipes, and that when he is near you feel very good. And that WITHOUT him you are much worse off than WITH him.
And I assure you - when you look back in twenty years, when you will still be touched, measuring his temperature and helping him write his will, although he only sneezed once, and when you finally stop having intimate conversations “where are we going” , because you have ALREADY come to where you need to go, this is love. Love is not calculated in advance. Never.
And all these “complicated” relationships - well, damn it, go to a macrame course or something. Or help orphans. Leave your poor brain alone, its mouth is full of worries even without you.
Partnership between a man and a woman
This is a very important point that not all people pay attention to. And to you, dear readers, I recommend that you pay attention to it. We are talking about partnerships between a man and a woman. Whatever relationship you build with the opposite sex, if you want it to be serious, strong and long-lasting, it must include a partnership between you and your man or woman. Many people, I repeat, do not attach importance to this relationship, but I believe, based on my experience, that a man and a woman, especially if they are husband and wife, must be partners, in addition to everything else. They are one team that must have common goals and agreed upon ways to achieve those goals. Therefore, a man and a woman should be a support for each other, they should be at the same time, they should support each other and help each other in difficult situations. So there must be a common cause, there must be common goals, so that people - men and women - have the most in common, so that they are interested in each other and are useful to each other on many issues. A man and a woman must understand that together they are strong, and they need to use this strength as a bonding agent in the foundation of their relationship. In general, a man and a woman should have a common life, and not so that one lives his life and achieves his goals, and the other, the other, his own. Common interests, common goals, common views on many things, maybe not all, but many - this is what makes relationships strong and lasting.
Cumshot - translation and meaning
The word “Cumshot” is a translation from the English “Cumshot”. It, in turn, is collective and consists of the words “Cum” - sperm, and “Shot” - shot. If translated literally, it turns out that “Cumshot” is a “shot of sperm.” In principle, from the translation you can already understand the meaning of this word.
It must be remembered that this word is exclusively slang and is most often used in pornography or among young people. Mentioning a cumshot in small talk would, alas, be completely inappropriate. Most often it is used as a tag to search for a specific porn video.
Sex
Well, what can I say - sex is sex, without it it is difficult to imagine a full-fledged relationship between a man and a woman, unless we are talking about friendly relationships that do not involve developing into a more serious relationship. But friendship between a man and a woman, you know, is a rare phenomenon in life, and not because this friendship itself is somehow wrong, but because people of different sexes are not always perfect for such friendship. So whatever you say, sex is our everything! Therefore, there should not be a shortage of sex; one of the basic human needs must be satisfied constantly. And this need must be satisfied beautifully, efficiently, and interestingly. But I don’t recommend doing any stupid things. There are women who blackmail their husbands with sex. These, friends, are very stupid women who themselves do not understand what they are doing. With these rash actions they destroy the foundation of family relationships - undermining self-confidence, showing disrespect for a man for whom a woman’s refusal to have sex is a great insult, and sowing hostility in their own home. No blackmail, be it sex or divorce, is acceptable for a normal relationship! If you don't want to live in a constant state of war with your partner, eliminate all blackmail from your life. Otherwise, do not rely on an unhappy fate when you find yourself at the “broken trough” to which you will lead yourself. Normal, regular sexual relations between a man and a woman are a prerequisite for a normal and lasting relationship between them. There is no need to idealize sex, as people with sexual disorders do; sex is not the main thing, it is one of the main conditions for normal relationships. Therefore, take into account each other’s desires to the extent you can, and try to satisfy them in a timely manner. No matter what anyone says, in most cases, problems with sex inevitably turn into problems in the relationship between a man and a woman, no matter how developed and advanced people they are. Consider this fact in your life.
What to do about unhealthy addiction
— There is always an opportunity to cope with addiction, to get rid of the roles of pursuer and avoider. There is a whole direction - emotionally focused therapy - an effective model of working with spouses, developed by Canadian psychologists
. This model helps people form healthy attachments. When she appears, a man and a woman become a couple in which they can lean on each other, support each other, care for and love, which is very healthy.
To achieve this, the couple can read literature on Emotionally Focused Therapy. There are many articles on this topic on the Internet. Even the therapy model itself involves reference to literature. You can deeply study the other partner’s family, figure out why he pursues or withdraws, notice destructive cycles in your own couple and try to change them into constructive ones. Of course, you can always contact a specialist in the field of family therapy. But you also need to choose him carefully so as not to end up with a person who will aggravate a difficult situation.
People who are faced with similar problems should not be upset and think that separation is the only way out. Dependent relationships are natural. Our parents had such a relationship, we didn’t see anything else. In order to change relationships, we must first live, understand what does not suit us, and then change them without delay. The longer a destructive cycle exists, the more difficult it is to get out of it.
Scandals
Scandals must be avoided at all costs! And to do this, you need to stop enjoying them. What, you want to say that you don’t get any pleasure from scandals, that they happen on their own, due to various objective reasons? Don't deceive yourself, and especially not me. I am an experienced person, I know that a scandal requires not a reason, but a reason. It’s just that some people do not always realize that they themselves provoke quarrels and scandals in relationships because they want them to happen, because thanks to these scandals and quarrels, people feed on negative energy and throw out the aggression that overwhelms them on their partner, instead of pacifying it . People who are not burdened with moral and cultural education, as well as intellectual development, need to express aggression. Man is an aggressive creature, so if he is, let’s say, not entirely reasonable, not intelligent enough, he needs to vent his aggression somewhere, somehow. Let's assume that you are one of these people and it is difficult for you to catch up, it is difficult for you to become less aggressive and more patient with other people. So be it, it’s not a problem, to hell with this upbringing and intelligence - at least try not to throw out your aggression on those people who are truly dear to you. And as I understand it, your beloved man or your beloved woman is still a person dear to you, who clearly does not deserve to be growled at him or her. Close people should become saints for you! There is no need to make scandals with those with whom you are in the same boat. There are such absurd situations in which people argue with each other for no reason, and having understood these situations a little, you understand that the problem is not worth a damn, and there is so much anger, so much hatred, so many negative emotions and aggression around it, as if it were about the opposition of the worst enemies to each other, and not about people who should actually love each other. In general, dear readers, please note that it is not problems in relationships that provoke scandals, but scandals that create problems in relationships between a man and a woman. As soon as you begin to approach the issue of scandals from this position, and not from the position of who is right and who is wrong, you will reduce their number in your life many times over. But don’t forget that scandals cannot be completely avoided, so don’t strive for a non-existent ideal. A pinch of pepper should be present in any relationship - it gives them flavor.
What is compatibility
People often confuse compatibility and chemistry, but in fact there is a very big difference between them. Most of us casually use these concepts to describe the mysterious phenomena that occur between two people: an invisible and inexpressible connection or lack thereof.
In fact, compatibility is a natural match between the values and lifestyles of two people. There will clearly be no compatibility between the priest and the stripper, so it is unlikely that they will even decide to build a relationship with each other.
Simply put, if you value smart, educated women and you date a college dropout who prefers guys with big muscles who like to hunt deer, you and her will clearly be incompatible. In all likelihood, your relationship will not work out.
Educated men with liberal views usually date educated women with liberal views. Hedonists choose hedonists. Religious fanatics choose the same religious fanatics. And people with different moral values tend to dislike each other. Sometimes even complete intolerance.
Male dominance
Perhaps for some, my opinion, gained through years of working with people, will seem old-fashioned, but I believe that the leadership of a man in the family should not be disputed, it should be welcomed and supported in every possible way. A man should be the main one in any serious relationship with a woman, and the woman will only get better from this male dominance! But provided that we are talking about a normal man who wants and is ready to take responsibility for his decisions, who is not so selfish as to think only about himself and for whom a relationship with a woman is a value, and not just an opportunity to satisfy some of his needs and desires.
Equality is equality, but in relationships between a man and a woman, someone must be more important in order to be responsible for the direction of these relationships, not allowing them to develop spontaneously. In my opinion, a man is better suited for this role because he is more practical and his brain is sharpened to constantly solve problems. Of course, under the same condition that the man is normal, smart, and not some kind of idiot. And a woman already adapts to such a man’s dominance and acts more like an adviser, whose wise instructions and attention to detail allow a man to better analyze his decisions in certain situations. So the point is not that a woman should submit to a man in everything and not have the right to vote, and generally be a thing for him. No way. You can’t build anything serious on someone’s oppression of someone else. It’s just that a man is most often better suited to the role of head of the family! There are exceptions, including forced ones, but they are exceptions. And not because a man should be in charge because I want it that way or because all men want it to be that way, but because nature also intended it that way. In it, every man from birth is a leader, warrior, hunter. Education, of course, can seriously distort these natural inclinations, but the main thing is that they exist and they can and should be cultivated in a person, in this case in a man. And if a woman wants to have a normal man next to her, with whom it is beneficial to maintain a close relationship, on whom you can rely, she should help him be who he is according to his destiny, and not turn him into a weakling with her aggression and dominion. Even without this, most men have been deformed since childhood and have always been deformed, mainly at work, when they are forced to meekly submit to their superiors, who are always right in everything. Hierarchical laws break the psyche of many people who are forced to suppress their leadership qualities, love of freedom, and self-esteem in order to adapt to society and the team. Parents also often harm their children when their attitude towards them turns them into people completely unadapted to life. Often, improperly raised men are not able to build a relationship with a woman at all, and for them this is a big problem, because of which they suffer. Such people, of course, cannot be trusted with power in the family, and even in not very serious relationships they cannot be leaders because they are too morally weak. But I think it’s necessary to give a man a chance to be a man. A mentally broken man in the house is like furniture, there seems to be some benefit, but no independence.
So, if it so happens that a man is not a “lion” in the big world, then let him at least be one in his own family. But no frills. If he cannot cope with this role, then, of course, there is no point in idolizing him. But then the relationship takes on a very unsightly form when a woman has to become the man in the relationship, taking on leadership responsibilities. Therefore, addressing women, I want to say that there is no need to push a man under your thumb if he has leadership potential. Don't make it into something that will make you sick. If a man adapts to a woman, if he is afraid of losing her, if he tries to please her in everything, not paying attention to her attitude towards himself, then he will cease to be a man and most likely will lose his woman over time. Well, what a woman will get from such a relationship in which she, and not her man, will dominate can be understood from numerous examples from life when relationships between people do not develop in the best way and the man in such a family often causes severe irritation in the woman. A man must feel like a leader, or even better be one, in order to function normally, so to speak. Otherwise, it is of little use. So, taking out the trash and replacing the faucet in the kitchen will do.
Why does a man ask for this?3
If you are a woman and agree to an open relationship, do not do it in order to keep your partner. He will not appreciate your pies, your generosity and patience. It will not suddenly dawn on him that there is a “treasure” nearby.
If a man is ready for his woman to sleep with other men, then there are only two options: either he considers her more of a person and a professional (that is, on an equal basis with himself) than a woman; or she is simply not valuable to him! And, if you earn less, don’t have a dizzying career and don’t invent a perpetual motion machine, then you are just a “convenient temporary option” that will be discarded as soon as the one you “can die for” appears on the horizon. Alas, psychological consultations are full of ladies with such sad stories.
Moreover, their exes do not create any open relationships with new passions. On the contrary, they dream of making them legal wives as soon as possible and are trying in every possible way to make inquiries about their views to the left. So make a list of what this interaction will give you personally. And remember that freedom in sex does not mean that a man should not give money for a joint household, buy you clothes, take you to the doctor and visit friends with you.
Free relationships in their purest form are the ability to rise above physiological needs, and not the unwillingness to take on responsibilities. Such a union implies that you share everything with your partner: joys and sorrows. And yet, it implies the priority of values. That is, if it is very important for one partner that the second is nearby at a certain time, the second will be nearby exactly when required. By and large, an ideal open relationship is the same as a marriage, just with an agreed upon time when both partners can go have some fun on the side.
For example, on Monday and Wednesday we visit our parents (we cross-stitch, sit at home), on Saturday we go to the pool with the children, but on Tuesday and Friday evenings we go from right to left. Oh, how great it sounds. And where is he, this “ideal”?
Taking care of each other
When a person truly values something or someone, he cares about it. We take care of what is dear to us! And we don’t feel sorry for losing only what we don’t need or what we have a lot of in our lives. Therefore, if we need a person for a serious relationship, we cannot help but take care of him. When a man forces a woman to work from morning to night, when he doesn’t take care of her at all, he doesn’t care about her! He doesn't appreciate her! With such an attitude towards a person, it is simply impossible to talk about any kind of serious relationship, even if he gives her flowers from time to time and buys her expensive trinkets. And the situation is exactly the same with a woman who forces her husband to work more and more, not paying attention to his health, as long as he brings home a lot of money, which she spends mainly on herself. Such a woman doesn’t care about her man, she doesn’t value him! Often, women don’t even care that their man is an alcoholic, as long as he works. Well, is this a normal relationship? Yes, this is not a relationship at all - this is parasitism. If you don’t care about your woman or your man, don’t count on any kind of normal relationship with this woman or man. Such a house of cards will definitely collapse.
What is a cumshot 2
The term "cumshot" is predominantly used to refer to male ejaculation, meaning it refers to a shot of sperm. It is important that the word does not mean orgasm itself, but rather the release of sperm from the penis. Sometimes “cumshot” is also applicable to female ejaculation; it describes the release of female secretions during a squirting orgasm. True, the word is used quite rarely in this meaning; it is replaced by the familiar term “squirt”.
Most often in pornography, a cumshot is a shot of sperm onto a woman’s body. This action is an important part of any porn video, because the release of sperm (orgasm) indicates the successful completion of intimate caresses. Without seeing a cumshot, the whole essence of a pornographic film is lost.
Statistics of requests for the “cumshot” tag show that most often the male audience prefers to see a shot of sperm on a woman’s body. Western sexologists have come up with an interesting theory: men like to watch ejaculation on a woman because it is comparable to “marking” their territory. A man, leaving a trail of sperm, seems to mark “his possessions.” True, this is just a theory, so you shouldn’t think about it seriously.
However, cumshots can be different. This can be ejaculation on a same-sex partner, simply in the air (during masturbation, or on some object, most often a sex fetish (whip, leather, latex, underwear, heel on women's shoes).
Love
And finally, Her Majesty love! You know, dear readers, I could tell you a lot more about the relationship between a man and a woman, but let’s finish the discussion of this topic within the framework of this article, after all, with the most important thing - love. If she is love, there is, then all of the above and much more, on which the relationship between a man and a woman depends, will be in perfect order. If you love a person, you will try to do everything for him! And if not, then no advice will help you. No psychologist can help, much less make you fall in love with a person; love starts in your heart and then reaches your mind. Therefore, you must not only feel, but also understand whether you love a person or not. If you love, then this is good, it means that you will do everything for your relationship with him, the best that you are capable of. As for him or her, let them decide for themselves how and with what to respond to your love. You won’t be nice by force, so don’t demand that people love you in return. And in general, listen to the advice of one wise man who once told me that the main thing is not that you love, but that you are loved! If they love you, then you will love someone who sincerely loves you - with bright and pure love, provided that you love not only with your heart, but also with your mind. And also provided that you are generally capable of loving someone other than yourself. For true love, friends, you need to grow up. After all, an immature, essentially childish mind is selfish, while a mature and developed mind is capable of thinking not only about itself, but also about others. We are too selfish beings, so when we are not developed enough intellectually, it is unusual for us to think about other people, we think only about ourselves. Relationships based on this selfishness will not be strong, they will lack true love - sacrificial love. But when you appreciate with your heart and mind the feelings of another person for you and are able to love him because he loves you, then you will have real, great love, which will allow you to create strong and lasting relationships. Isn't this happiness, friends?
I sincerely wish you just such a relationship, based on pure and bright love, but not without natural flaws! I understand that these relationships will never be perfect, because both men and women, as was already said at the very beginning of this article, are different. Each person has his own shortcomings, which will inevitably determine his attitude towards other people. And in each specific case, the relationship between a man and a woman will have its own characteristics. However, by adhering to the advice I have given you in this article, you, dear readers, will be able to avoid many unnecessary mistakes, neither for you nor for your relationship, because of which these relationships may suffer. A man and a woman are different parts of a single whole. And when they live together, they should complement each other, not fight each other for dominance, for the opportunity to ride on the other’s neck, but rather complement each other, when one puts one thing into the relationship, and the other another. Then such relationships will be strong and durable.
Signs of a healthy couple relationship
Now let’s look at what exactly is an indicator of a harmonious union.
- The health of each partner individually
We are talking about psychological health and the absence of addictions. Healthy relationships are possible if a person did not receive serious psychological trauma in childhood or has worked through them well. And now I am able to create good, strong relationships.
If one of the partners is not a healthy person, then healthy love will not work. The relationship will be codependent, destructive, but definitely not fulfilling. Therefore, in order for the union to be harmonious, it is worth recovering from personality-destroying injuries (for high-quality work on the problem, it is better to contact a specialist, for example, a psychologist).
- Partners try not to hurt each other
They discuss boundaries, each talks about what hurts him, what upsets him, what offends him, and the other respects it. And they try to resolve the situation, to make sure that neither side suffers.
- Everyone strives to create a healthy relationship with this particular person.
When a person lives in harmony with himself, he is a full-fledged person, he has no (subconscious) desire to cause pain to himself or others. He chooses his soul mate for a good, strong relationship, and not to suffer (as traumatized people do). He made his own choice, this particular person is dear to him and he is ready to work on this relationship.
- Everyone puts themselves and self-care first
He does not see the meaning of life in his partner, he does not consider his loved one more important, more important than himself. I’ll say right away that we’re not talking about selfishness or narcissism (it’s just the opposite: a person doesn’t love himself so much that he needs public love to fill the space where there should be self-love).
Loving yourself means taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, for your feelings, for meeting your needs. This is the ability to take care of yourself, take care of yourself and your health (physical and mental) and life. Only a person who truly loves himself can give love to another.
You first take care of yourself, and your partner takes care of himself, and only then about each other. In this case, you build relationships as equal, equally significant people. This is what a union between mature, healthy people looks like, where the basis is love, care and respect for oneself and the other.
- They turn to specialists for help
Failures in the system can also occur in healthy people, for example, due to stress. Therefore, if a psychological problem arises in a healthy couple (with one, both, or with children), they go to a psychologist, and do not start to break down and look for those to blame. A specialist will help you understand the causes of the problem and solve it.
- Healthy love develops, grows and transforms with all its stable and strong foundation.
Both are constantly developing and provide mutual support in their efforts to grow. They realize that their interests, values, and hobbies change, just like they do. And it is important that these two people make a decision together, either they build a family, officially register the relationship, give birth to children, raise them together, send them into adulthood, take care of their grandchildren and spend their old age together.
Material on the topic: Psychology of relationships between men and women
Either the couple admits that they are no longer on the same path and then calmly and peacefully end the relationship. In this case, they experience the feeling of loss, accepting the support of loved ones and specialists, and let each other go. They do not hold grudges, they wish him or her happiness.
